brave lions - University College Dublin

ISSUE 2 / VOLUME 19
METROSEXUALS
4.10.05
BRAVE LIONS
T W O A LT E R N AT E V I E W S H I C K I E & H O R G A N
FASHION - PAGE 16
EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW
RUD’S WORLD - PAGE 22
Irish Students Destroy J1 Flat
JACK CANE
Some of the destruction caused
by former UCD students
There are no criminal proceedings in motion on
either side of the Atlantic.
Maher’s hope that “the students involved will have
some moral feelings to pay up what they owe”
appears to have had some success.
In an email sent to the College Tribune, Maher
reported that the tenants of apartment #8 have paid
US$1,800 towards the damages in that residence.
The sub-leasers of apartment #8 have also said that
they will take full financial responsibility for the damage, according to Maher.
Katie Maher goes on to state that the sub-leasers
of apartment #8 have also apologised for the damages incurred and that they did not participate in the
vandalism of the apartment, claiming that the
destruction was undertaken by people they allowed
to stay in the unit after they left the US in mid-August.
The level of destruction to the apartments was
substantial, with pictures released by BDC
Management showing overflowing toilets, ripped up
mattresses, rubbish strewn floors, doors ripped from
hinges, holes punched into walls and walls covered
in graffiti. The former UCD students involved are
believed to have participated in these acts of vandalism.
Josh Kimball described the scene; “The carpet
was black, it smelled like urine, there was writing on
all the walls from floor to ceiling and on the cabinets,
there were holes in the walls and the front door was
Irish students are being held responsible
for approximately US$15,000 worth of
damages to three apartments in Santa
Barbara, California. Former UCD students
were involved in the devastation of the
three apartments.
Apartments #3, #5, and #8, 800 Embarcadero del
Mar, which are located in Isla Vista, near the
University of California Santa Barbara (UCSB) were
described as being “destroyed beyond belief” by
UCSB student Josh Kimball.
Kimball, one of the UCSB students who sub-let the
apartments out to the Irish nationals, was left with the
cost of the damages along with other sub-letters after
the Irish students left at the end of the summer.
The sub-leasers cannot be prosecuted or forced to
pay the damages at 800 Embarcadero del Mar as
they are not US citizens.
However, attempts to secure some form of financial retribution have been carried out by the apartments’ management company, BDC Management,
along with affected UCSB students.
Katie Maher, Property Supervisor for BDC, stated
“we have talked to the Irish Consulate in San
Francisco and sent them the contact details of the
students involved.”
SPORT - PAGE 26
gone.”
The College Tribune has not received any information as to whether the sub-leasers of the other
apartments will be paying for damages incurred.
When a number of them were contacted, the students alleged to have been involved declined to comment.
However, the destruction of the Isla Vista apartments has already had a negative effect on the reputation of Irish students in Santa Barbara.
Katie Maher confirmed “if BDC do take Irish students again we may increase the security deposit
and find a way to make them financially responsible
after they leave” adding that “once we come up with
a protocol for that, we wouldn’t want to discriminate
against Irish students.”
Maher also commented “I hope that this gets
through to the Irish students, that they are ruining the
reputation of Irish students here who will find it harder to rent and work in Santa Barbara. It’s an awful situation.”
Due to the difficulty in prosecuting foreign citizens
under the US court system, the details and pictures
of the damages was forwarded onto the Irish
Consulate, along with the Colleges of the subleasers.
Lt. Sol Linver of the Isla Vista Foot Patrol stated
that he wanted the sub-leasers held accountable for
their actions, however with the students of apartment
#8 paying their dues, it appears that the situation will
be rectified out of court.
“A PLACE TO CRASH
AND PARTY, THAT’S IT,
WHO CARES ABOUT IT?”
“This happens all the time.” These are
the words of UCD Student Advisor Ronan
Murphy, a former employee of UC Santa
Barbara.
According to Murphy, the latest reports
of destruction of three apartments by Irish
students are not uncommon.
However, Murphy stresses that such
acts of vandalism are rooted in other problems. “I worked in UCSB and three Irish
girls who were working over there for the
summer came into my office and said the
local estate agent had denied them housing in local apartments because they were
Irish.
“I rang the Irish Consulate in San
Francisco and told them of the problem,
which they said they were aware of. The
consulate was saying that Irish students
were coming over and putting up to fifteen
people in one apartment, and that they
were getting reports of apartments being
trashed up and down the CONTINUED
coast or at least that’s what
they heard from some landlords.”
2>
EDITORIAL
8>
2 THIS WEEK
INSIDE
3 NEWS
Dodgy posters, students’ thrashing
apartments, graffiti, kn**cker drinking and a war of words. Another
quiet fortnight
10 FEATURES
Interviews with Dr.
Cox from Scrubs,
Bill Clintons former
speech-writer and a
survivor of
Hurricane Katrina.
And lots more...
16 DISTRACTIONS
We ask what makes a metrosexual, interview rising band Turn and
mourn the iminent death of NY
club CBGBS. Plus the usual
barage of reviews
25 SPORTS
Colin Gleeson talks
to Denis Hickie and
Shane Horgan
while Richard
McElwee reports
from Belfield Bowl
4.10.05
“A PLACE TO CRASH AND PARTY, THAT’S IT, WHO CARES ABOUT IT?”
Murphy explained that “the reality is in
Isla Vista, Santa Barbara, that the rents
are extremely high, so if you get a one
bedroom apartment you probably have
four students in it, then they have
boyfriends or girlfriends so then
you have eight altogether.
Apartments are trashed from year
to year this way.”
However, the problem does not
entirely lie with the students with
Murphy commenting that “a lot of
times the apartments are not kept
up by the landlords who have
been doing that for thirty years or
more. It’s a student and immigrant ghetto.”
With approximately US$15,000
worth of damage incurred on the
three Isla Vista properties, the
amounts of money owed by the
Irish students involved is substantial. At the time of writing, the
UC Santa Barbara students involved
have still lost the majority of their
deposit to the BDC Management due to
the actions of the sub-leasers.
According to Murphy however, vandalism is more often than not perpetrat-
ed by affluent students. “Most of the students who go to UCSB are high income
students, who go up there, party a lot,
trash the apartments and then leave.
Obviously not everyone does this but
certainly a good number of students do.
The Irish students aren’t doing anything
the students of Orange County aren’t
doing.”
JACK CANE
T R I B U N E
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DROP THE SOLUTION TO SUDOKU NO.3 (EASY) DOWN TO THE OFFICE IN
LG18 (ARTS BLOCK) TO BE IN WITH A CHANCE TO WIN A TRIP FOR TWO
Editor
Eoin Mac Aodha
REGULARS
8 FAUSTUS
9 EDITORIAL &
LETTERS
16 FASHION & HEALTH
23 RUD’S WORLD
10 THINGS I HATE...
22 GUIDE TO THE LUNGE
22 DEAR TRIBUNE
24 THE TURBINE
25 DOWN THE LINE
Murphy continued, claiming that “it
comes from students living in the high
income parts of California. The low
income students just aren’t doing it. With
Irish students, maybe it’s a product of
Ireland becoming wealthy. The
people who have the money, for
the most part, it’s a place to live
and crash and party, that’s it, who
cares about it?”
The Student Advisor was
backed up in this claim by James
Carroll, SU President. Carroll commented that “it seems like people
from more affluent areas in Dublin
seem to think this is acceptable
behaviour. It’s disgraceful.” Carroll
added that he condemned “such
behaviour completely”.
With thousands of Irish students
going to the US on J1 visas every
summer, Murphy describes a
crowded scene; “in the end, those
three girls ended up with ten people in
their one bedroom apartment, half
would sleep there and the other half
would go out and vice versa. It’s a fairly
regular occurrence.”
CONTINUED
Sports Editor
Colin Gleeson
Chief Sub Editor
Features Editors
Ruaidhri O’Connor Alan Tully
Box 74,
Students’ Centre,
University College
Dublin,
Belfield,
Dublin 4.
Email:
tribune@campus.ie
Telephone:
(01) 716 8501
Online:
www.ucd.ie/tribune
Design Editor
Simon Ward
Current Affairs
Eileen O’Malley
Distractions Editor
Barry Bowen
Health&Fashion Editor
Caitríona Gaffney
Web Editor
Jonathon Kelly
Music Editor
Ronan Dempsey
Photography Editor
Aisling O’Leary
Film Editor
Karen O’Connell
News Editor
Jack Cane
Contributors:
Catriona Blake, Andrew
Carlos, Richelle Delany,
Fionn Dempsey, Dan Finn,
Christina Finn,
Barra Fennell, Kate Hayes,
Fiona Hedderman,
Nicky Hynes, Graham
Keegan, Peter McKenna
Kevin Murphy, Rachel
Gilmore-Murphy, Chris Kirk,
Derry Nairn, Gillian
Kennedy, Vinny O’Dowd
Bill O’Reilly, Owen Priestly ,
Harry Smyth,
Richard McElwee,
Zachary Warner
Special Thanks To:
house, Industrial Strength Coffee, CJ the DJ,
Stephen & Gary @ Spectator Newspapers,
Disk Keys, Read’s of Nassau St, the careers
Eilish O’Brien @ UCD Communications Office,
office and all the editorial staff, you all do
Mary & Mairtin MacAodha for the use of their
great work. And God.
NEWS 3
4.10.05
CURRAN GETS IT WANG
Class Rep poster boy revealed
to be faked
The Students’ Union poster advertising Class Rep positions was branded
“stupid and totally unacceptable” after
it was revealed that one of the photographs on it was faked. “Daniel Wang,
Class Rep 2002/03” has been
revealed to have never been a Class
Rep, or even ever a student of UCD.
Students’ Union Deputy President, Dave
Curran, who was responsible for the poster
campaign, commented that “we took pictures of
people we knew were formerly Class Reps, but
they were all girls. I tried to get in touch with former male Class Reps, but could only find ones
that were running for the position again, and I
couldn’t give them extra publicity.”
Defending his decision to “do a Google Image
Search and come up with this picture”, Curran
asserted that “we needed to get the poster
done, it was late and we had a deadline.” The
campaign attracted a record number of 178
Class Rep nominations.
The decision to use this picture, of “Daniel
Wang”, a man of Chinese extraction, was cited
as “stupid and totally unacceptable” according
to a Chinese student speaking to the College
Tribune, who wishes to remain anonymous.
The man whose image is used in the poster’s
real name remains a mystery. Curran, commenting on the issue, claimed that “I don’t know
who chose the name, the poster was a collaborative effort.”
The anonymous Chinese student continued
his attack on the poster, stating that “the SU
appears to have lied to students. I think it was a
bad mistake they made in making up a fake
Class Rep.”
When asked why he chose a male face of foreign extraction, Curran said that he hoped to
find “somebody who was likely to live far away,
so he wouldn’t happen to be walking around
JACK CANE
UCD.” When asked as to the legal ramifications
of using the photo, Curran replied “if we put up
a picture for a few weeks around UCD of a person who lives thousands and thousand of miles
away, I don’t think that’s really an [legal] issue.”
Enda Duffy, Labour Youth Chairperson,
rejected this argument, branding the use of the
picture as “sick” and claiming that “what is sickest about the poster is the fact they picked an
Asian picture and gave him a tokenistic name
like Daniel Wang. It sounds like a false name, a
stereotype.” Duffy added “I don’t think the SU
should be joking about these issues.”
Curran responded by claiming that “the
poster is very light-hearted, people will understand it’s fairly harmless. I don’t think we have
done anything wrong.”
SU President James Carroll was dismissive
of the issue, commenting: “Sure, Daniel Wang,
he’s a bit of a living legend.”
Both Curran and James Carroll insist that the
poster will not adversely affect foreign students’
trust in the SU. Curran claimed that “I don’t think
we will lose foreign students’ trust, if anything it
is a positive thing, if it does have an impact it will
be a message of inclusivity.” Carroll concurred,
claiming “Why would it? Absolutely not.”
When asked did they believe the Students’
Union had lied to students, both Carroll and
Curran refused to be drawn on the matter, with
both the President and Deputy President
repeatedly claiming that they needed someone
for the poster and subsequently found a picture
on Google Image Search.
Jane Horgan-Jones, SU Education Officer,
admitted “it was probably a mistake to do it, but
it wasn’t done with any bad intentions. If people
have taken offence, I think the SU should apologise, but Dave Curran shouldn’t be lynched for
it.” Enda Duffy agreed with these sentiments
somewhat, commenting that “I think Curran
should apologise to Council and the student
body.”
EDITORIAL
8>
DANIEL WANG: A FIGMENT OF THE STUDENTS’ UNION’S IMAGINATION
SOC SHOWING NO CRAICS
PHOTO: RD
CraicSoc’s “kn**ker drinking extravageansai” of 21st September has seen
campus security arrangements called
into question. The unscheduled event,
which contravened the University’s
Alcohol Policy, attracted approximately
fifty revellers.
OWEN PRIESTLY
Such security breaches have been on the rise
since the start of the College term and have led to
an increased presence of security and Services
personnel. Security was lifted as high as to
involve the Gardai on this occasion.
The “extravageansai” marks CraicSoc’s - an
unofficial society - first event of the year.
Students whose main objective is to “bring the
craic back to the students” started CraicSoc as an
unofficial society three years ago. Flyers were illegally distributed all around campus, advertising
the “extravageansai” to be held at the lake for
2pm, along with such slogans as “F**k Butler!”
and “Bring Drugs!”
College rules concerning flyer distribution and
alcohol consumption state “clubs, societies and
other groups organising events on- or off-campus
may not advertise free or cheap drinks as the
main attraction of the event.”
The flyers advertised a drinking session down
by the lake in open defiance to the College’s
Alcohol Consumption policy. The policy is clear in
its statement that “alcohol may not be consumed
on campus except in licensed clubs and restaurants and other areas which have been temporarily designated by the Registrar for the purpose of
a particular event.”
Any breach of this policy by any club or soceity
would lead to disciplinary action being taken
against the society and the members present at
CRAIC SOC: STUDENTS DRINKING AT ROEBUCK CASTLE BEFORE SERVICES ARRIVED
the offending event. However, as Craic Soc is not,
or never has been, an official society, bringing the
organisers to justice is proving harder than
expected.
When the CraicSoc members congregated at
the lake for the event they were met by resistance
from the College officials who were not willing to
relax College policy. Security was called and the
group was disbanded.
The group then moved onto pitches adjacent to
the creche and were again dispersed with all open
containers of alcohol confiscated. CraicSoc had
anticipated opposition and had organised to
reconvene behind Roebuck Castle at 6pm where
an electrical generator and DJ decks lay in wait.
The party continued until the Garda were called
and campus security disbanded the group for a
second time.
CraicSoc released a press statement following
the “extravagansai” outlining its outrage at their
treatment at the hands of the Gardai and campus
security. The unofficial society felt that they had
been intimidated and bullied at the hands of campus security and by members of the Gardai.
Standard University security regulation at an
incident of this nature would see the event dis-
banded and student cards taken so that further
disciplinary action could be taken at a later date.
CraicSoc, standing in solidarity with its members,
issued a press release calling “all students never
to hand over a student card.”
The unofficial society continued, suggesting
that their members to go as far as to “steal someone else’s and then hand that one over.” The
College remained adamant that the security personal had acted adequately in response to the situation and had in fact taken student cards from
offending students. Any further disciplinary action
taken is yet to be known.
4 NEWS
4.10.05
ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT
PHOTO: FILE
Individual Arrested
Suspected Posession of Drugs
OWEN PRIESTLY
Gardai were called onto campus after
reports of suspicious activities outside
the Student Bar, and have arrested a
man for suspected drug possession
Monday last.
The man was not a registered student at UCD.
The individual, who was removed from Belfield,
was reprimanded by the Gardai for being in possession of unknown quantities of an illegal substance.
The individual in question was removed from
the campus grounds after the Gardai were called.
The car that took the man away was a regular
patrol car, not a car from the Drug Squad.
The College have decided not to pursue the
situation any further and were not looking for any
further legal preceedings to be undertaken on
behalf of the College against the individual. The
College said it was a matter for the police to deal
with.
The incident coincided with an ejection of a first
year male student from Merville residences,
fuelling rumours that this person was the one
arrested outside the Student Bar. However, the
College Tribune can reveal that the incidents
were not related.
The College were adamant in response to this
incident that the arrested man was not a student
at UCD and that drugs of any kind were strictly
prohibited on campus.
Eilis
O'Brien,
UCD’s
Director
for
Communications, responsed to the incident by
stating that “it is College policy that drugs are prohibited on campus.”
This incident has raised further questions
about campus security. College rules clearly
state that members of the public are not allowed
into any of the student bars or surrounding areas.
The Student Bar plays host to many showcases, gigs and events throughout the year. As large
STUDENT BAR: REVELLERS HAVING A DRUG FREE TIME
amounts of people congregate there it becomes
increasingly difficult to regulate if everyone present is a student.
When asked about it’s approach to security the
College commented that “UCD brings in addition-
al resources as required, and UCD Services
operates a flexible staffing approach. UCD takes
a balanced approach to security, and assumes
that most students understand.”
However, one freshman went on record to say
that he was “entirely disappointed with the security on campus”. He went on the say that security
personnel spent more time “picking on first years,
having a laugh” than on the “real issues such as
the increasing levels of violence on campus.”
WAR OF WORDS CONTINUES
On the 20th of September 2005, the College Tribune published a news story regarding proposed developments on the Jefferson Smurfit site,
Clonskeagh, adjacent to BeechHill residential estate. Below is a statement from Councillor Dermot Lacey, the spokesperson for the BeechHill residents
and a subsequent response from University College Dublin. The views expressed in either statement are in no way the views of the College Tribune.
CLLR. DERMOT LACEY
Statement to College Tribune from
Councillor Dermot Lacey
were placed approximately one mile from the
residents most affected and in a place where
they least likely to see them?
Ms Eilis O'Brien, UCD Director of
Communications, (College Tribune 20/09/05) stated that " Cllr Lacey has made numerous inaccurate assertions over the past year" in relation to
the UCD Property development adjacent to Beech
Hill.
However in the course of a lengthy article she
fails to mention even one such inaccuracy:
6) Was I inaccurate to say that I expected better manners from the President and authorities of
the largest University in Ireland?
7) Was I inaccurate in saying that the
Councillors in the Dundrum Electoral area had
1) Was I inaccurate in saying that UCD and
their Developer allies lodged a Planning
Application without informing their neighbours?
unanimously rejected the Planning Application?
2) Was I inaccurate in saying that there was a
long standing understanding on the part of residents that the fields in question would be used
as sporting facilities?
Developer allies is party to a development which
The fact remains that UCD along with its
will have a profoundly damaging impact
on the community in which the President, courtesy
of the taxpayer, temporarily resides.
3) Was I inaccurate in saying that this development will impact in an extremely damaging
way on the adjoining communities and the residents of Beaver Row?
4) Was I inaccurate in saying that the
President of UCD has, to date, failed to answer a
single letter, on this issue, sent on behalf of local
residents - his neighbours?
5) Was I inaccurate to say that the site notices
That the College so dismisively rejects fair comment says as much about their attitude to Social
Studies and Communications as the development
itself does to the School of Architecture. I repeat
again shame on a great university that in the
search for mammon it betrays everything that a
real University should be about.
UNIVERSITY COLLEGE DUBLIN
In response to issues raised around
the development of land at
Whiteoaks/Beechill the University
provides the following comprehensive background which clarifies the
role of UCD.
In 2003 UCD bought the Philips site adjoining
the campus on the Clonskeagh Road. The site
consists of approximately 10 acres and buildings
(circa 100,000 sq ft). The site and building were
considered an ideal location for the remaining
parts of the Faculty of Engineering, which is still
located in Earlsfort Terrace.
It was understood at the time (by the
Governing Authority and the Finance Committee)
that UCD would have to consider disposing of
some property in order to part fund the purchase.
During 2004, UCD entered into discussions
with the consortium of developers in relation to
land they had purchased from the Smurfit organisation.
Arising out of these discussions, the two parties agreed to exchange a small portion of land
which would enable the university to reconfigure
its boundary and maximise that area of the campus for sports purposes. It was also agreed that
the two parties would enter into a joint development project, which would include both the
Smurfit lands and almost 5 acres of the university lands at Whiteoaks (which adjoins Beechill).
This investment would be used by UCD to
make a significant contribution toward financing
the purchase of the Philips site.
As part of the agreement UCD will gain an
access route to Beaver Row.
The campus land in question had initially been
used as practice playing field, it was then used by
the Faculty of Agriculture for a number of years
and subsequently became fallow and in the more
recent past it has been reconstituted as practice
playing pitches. The land was a peripheral part of
the university’s general land-bank and had not
yet been designated for a specific long term use.
The university has begun reconfiguring the
Whiteoaks area of the campus. This has involved
reallocating some of the lands which were previously part of University Lodge gardens to accommodate three playing pitches. Formerly there
had only been space for two.
The University has always made an effort to
have good relations with residents living in the
area around the campus. The campus itself is an
amenity for the local community and they are welcome here.
The planning application for this development
was posted not just at the location but also at the
main entrance to the campus so as to fully inform
all interested parties. Details of the proposals
were widely disseminated within UCD and were
reported in the National Press.
It should be noted that the entrance to the proposed development is from Beaver Row and not
via the Beech Hill Estate.
NEWS 5
4.10.05
T REFORMATION CAUSES
CONSTERNATION
Academics Unconvinced by Horizons
There is concern within the academic
schools in UCD regarding Horizons. The
new revised academic structure of all of
UCD’s degree programmes has
encountered serious problems, according to some of UCD’s teaching schools.
Many academic schools are experiencing major
problems, particularly regarding timetables.
Professor Andrew Smith, former head of the
Greek and Roman Civilisation department has
described Horizons as “dreadful, total chaos”. He
believes, that so far, the system has serious flaws.
“The electives just aren’t working. There were
students in tears some moments ago with one of
my colleagues. They were told via the Internet that
they could do certain electives, whereas the opposite is the case. They cannot do them. This just
isn’t working”
Professor Smith was quick to point out that the
system is a good idea but he is left confused as to
how it will work. “It is a nice system, if it could work,
but I am just confused right now.”
He sited his stepping down as Head of the
Greek and Roman Civilisation department as a
result of “imposing outside influences”.
Head of the Irish, Celtic civilisation studies, Irish
Folklore and Linguistics, Professor Jamal Ouhalla
insisted that the idea behind Horizons was an
excellent one. Ouhalla had worked for many years
in the Queen Mary and Westfield College, London
where the teaching structure was based on the
same principles as Horizons.
“Horizons is a very good idea, when I heard
about it at first I was very happy as I had experienced a very good system in England. I feel that it
is too early to judge Horizons yet. The system is
going through some teething problems at the
moment but I believe that a clearer picture will
PHOTO: EOIN MAC AODHA
VINNY O’DOWD
develop by the end of this academic year.”
The Professor feels that the most problematic
area of the system is the signing up of students to
classes online. “The problematic element is the
signing up of students online. If that could work it
would be great. But it’s not so far.
“I also believe that a clear distinction must now
be made between the teething problems, of which
every new system will experience, and deeper
constructural problems.”
He believes that a great amount of planning
must go towards the setting up of structures such
as Horizons. “The organisation and combination of
departments in a system such as Horizons must
be done in an extremely strategic way and also
with a view to the future. Whether it is done here it
is too early to judge.”
Ouhalla concluded by saying that “the intention
is great but I wonder is it a bit ambitious”
Head of French in the School of Languages,
Literature and Film, Dr Phyllis Gaffney, expressed
her feelings regarding the new system, “we are
experiencing a phenomenon with the influx of students wishing to take French language modules,
but I feel that the other side of the degree that we
offer may come under threat.”
Gaffney, points out that the language modules
are only one side of the French department. “I feel
the Literature side of our school may come under
threat. I feel that the new electives may only benefit the ‘tourist’ student who wants to learn enough
French so as to be able to get by as a tourist in
France.
“As a result our school may be pressurised to
dumb-down our course to just language modules.
This is a serious problem for my colleagues and I.”
Gaffney also cited the online registration for
classes as “a headache”.
However, she concluded, “We are somewhat
apprehensive but are willing to embrace.”
PHOTO: EOIN MAC AODHA
GRAFFITI: FOUND ON THE OUTISDE & INSIDE OF THE QUINN BUILDING
THE WRITINGS ON THE
WALL FOR “CRAICSOC”
The Quinn School of Business has
been vandalised by graffiti.
The graffiti referred to an unofficial Craic Soc
“kn**cker drinking extravageansai”.
The offending graffiti appeared on Wednesday,
the 21st September, in the men’s toilets and on
the outside of the building.
The outside wall of the Quinn Building was
emblazoned “F**k Commerce”, whilst in the
men’s’ toilet inside the graffiti gave the time, location and date of the CraicSoc event.
The College Tribune can reveal that a single
person was arrested in relation to the graffiti. A
College spokesperson stated that “this is an
ongoing process, which is being handled by the
ZACHARY WARNER
Gardaí, which is the appropriate authority in this
instance.” The name of the person has not yet
been released to the public.
As the graffiti was perpetrated with substances
which are extremely difficult to remove, the cost of
removing the graffiti is expected to be quite substantial. The exact figure is not yet known.
As “CraicSoc” is not an official College society
it cannot be officially disciplined and there is as of
yet no proof whether the person arrested is directly responsible for the graffiti, or if they are considered a member of “CraicSoc”.
BELFIELD FM HITS
A BRICK WALL
The former Belfield FM station manager,
Charlie Solan, has resigned from the
board of the College radio station. His
decision comes after discovering that
the new Belfield FM office is to decrease
dramatically in size.
The office space, situated in the Library corridor, is to be divided between the CIE’s Student
Travelcard and Belfield FM.
Neither Mr. Solan nor the newly appointed station manager, Paul McAvinchey, were informed
about the new plans for the office space until just
two days before the work was to commence.
The building work on the office space had
already included installations of electrical cables
and sockets for Belfield FM.
Now that the space has been decreased, the
future of the stations development is in doubt. The
space was to offer the potential for a combined
studio, newsroom and office together.
Mr. Solan stated that the present conditions for
running the station was “physically impossible” as
the station is spread across campus. Belfield FM’s
studio is currently located between the temporary
portakabin beside the Student Centre and their
offices in the Library building.
McAvinchey also voiced his anger about the
decision to decrease the office size stating “it’s
particularly frustrating, it’s a definite hindrance”.
Besides the decrease in office space, it is clear
that Solan’s decision to resign comes because of
what he cites as, “a lack of communication”. Even
LIMBO: THE TEMPORARY BELFIELD FM PORTACABIN BESIDE THE CENTRE CLUB
though Solan was Station manager he had not
GILLIAN KENNEDY
been informed by the board and instead received
the news from Gavan Nolan, Facilities Manager,
whilst work on the new dividing wall was underway.
Nolan was informed about the new plans for the
office from Dave Carmody, Student Financial
Administrator.
Gary Redmond, Deputy Station Manager, was
informed about the decreased office size just two
days before commencement of the work.
Mr. Redmond stated, “He knew two weeks
before, he was under the impression that the SU
had informed Belfield FM.”
Yet neither the SU President, James Carroll,
also a member of the Belfield FM Board or Dave
Carmody had mentioned anything to the station
about their decision. Helen Guerin a member of
the Belfield FM board also did not know anything
about the new plans.
Former board member Paddy O’Flynn stated
that he had, “no knowledge, as he was not part of
the decision- making process, and that it was an
internal matter for the SU”. Guerin was unavailable for comment.
Solan regretfully informed the College Tribune,
that “it’s impossible to expect management to provide a professional station if there isn’t a professional set up.”
Dave Carmody was unavailable for comment at
the time of going to print,
As a consequence the total cost to the SU of
these developments has yet to be released.
6 NEWS
FOCUS
NEWS FOCUS
4.10.05
4.10.05
A COLLEGE ON THE PRECIPICE?
PHOTO: JT
A marked surge in unrest around
Belfield has been evident in the first
month of the academic year, necessitating the Gardaí’s presence on campus on multiple occasions.
JACK CANE
September has seen numerous cases of
aggression and vandalism around UCD
From graffiti plastered across the exterior of
the Quinn Building exclaiming “F**k Commerce”
to fighting at last week’s Freshers’ Ball, the trend
is undeniable.
The flagrant breaches of the University’s
Alcohol Policy, which doesn’t allow events to
advertise free or reduced drink as their main
attraction or allow students to have open containers of alcohol around campus, unless in an area
designated for a special event, have been obvious in CraicSoc’s “kn**ker drinking extravageansaí” along with the usual Freshers’ Week
revelry.
Commenting on the University’s Alcohol
Policy, the Vice-President for Students, Mary
Clayton, admitted that “obviously we can’t go on
ignoring the continuous flouting of the Alcohol
Policy. We are beginning to take action on it.”
This comes after the College authorities reportedly took student cards at CraicSoc’s event outside
Roebuck Castle.
Clayton has “ten disciplinary meetings, ranging
from walking around campus with open alcohol
containers to more serious problems” alone on
Monday, October 3rd. Disciplinary measures
“range from fines to suspension or worse” as outlined in the Student Code.
However, Clayton asserted that the College
can’t have “a standing army of security just for situations where you have over 200 students causing trouble. All you can do then is contain the situation, which I think Services do very well,”
affirming that “the security staff is fairly well
resourced.”
This has not been the reaction of some
CraicSoc members who have claimed to have
been “intimidated and bullied” by Services and
Gardaí, and are scathing about Services ability,
stating in their press release on September 23rd
that “once again, CraicSoc outsmarted Services.
We won’t gloat too much about this however,
because it is not a difficult feat.”
The most substantial barometer of the rise in
unrest on campus however, has to have been the
increase in physical violence. With skips full of
refuse set ablaze on campus, along with rubbish
bins along the N11, brawls outside the Student
Bar and acts of vandalism elsewhere on campus,
Monday, September 5th has proven to be one of
BRAWL AT THE BALL: ONE OF THE MANY DISTURBANCES ON CAMPUS SO FAR THIS YEAR
the most unrest filled days yet this year.
In addition, minor skirmishes were reported
outside the Damien Dempsey gig at the Student
Bar, Thursday, September 22nd.
However, the most striking incident of a violent
nature was evident at the Freshers’ Ball, with a
fight breaking out amongst a number of students,
who eventually had to be restrained by fellow students and security personnel.
Commenting on the Students’ Union’s role in
defusing violence on campus, SU President
James Carroll stated that “we can’t exactly nanny
people from campus events to their front door.”
With violence breaking out at events, arson
and vandalism on the rise and the numerous contraventions of the University’s Alcohol Policy, it
appears that the spectre of unrest is looming
large over campus life for the present. As Mary
Clayton promises action on the Alcohol Policy
however, it remains to be seen whether UCD will
experience serious disturbances in the future.
MODERATE SUCCESS OR MODULAR DISASTER?
With Horizons still in its
infancy the jury’s verdict
remains out on its success.
However, considerable
question marks remain
about its impact on UCD
students and its roll out
throughout the rest of the
degree programmes in the
University.
EOIN MAC AODHA
While it is too soon for a definitive conclusion on Horizons already two camps
have emerged.
Its critics have been buoyed by reports of poor
timetabling and unavailability regarding certain
subjects. The recent announcement that there is
what Vice President for Students, Mary Clayton,
describes “as a clear wish” on the part of the
Registrar Philip Nolan to see modularisation rolled
out to include all years, pressing the issue to the
fore in the consciousness of students.
On the other hand its’ advocates defend any
problems with that dreaded word ‘teething problems’ and claim that any new system will have
certain difficulties.
Certainly there is a middle ground between
those two viewpoints.
In its purest theoretical form, Horizons, is a
noble and worthy idea. The fact that students can,
theoretically at least, choose subjects outside
their core modules can only be beneficial to students.
The opportunity to receive as wide an education as possible cannot be criticised. Indeed, it
would be unreasonable to expect any new system
to run smoothly. When it comes to the introduction
of any structure run by people, error must be
expected.
UCD’s previous academic system also had
considerable operational problems and was
unwieldy and archaic.
Jane Horgan Jones, the Students’ Union
Education officer, highlights some of the problems; “contrary to the impression given by the
College at the Teaching and Learning board, I’ve
had quite a substantial amount of people coming
down to me quite upset, not being able to do what
they thought they’d be able to do once they came
to UCD,”
There is a danger to be anti-Horizons merely
because one does not agree with the new make
up of the College’s administration. Being antiestablishment just for the sake of it is an understandable temptation.
However, it is difficult to remain positive about
modularisation in light of the letter handed out to
returning UCD students by Registrar Philip Nolan
informing them that they too would be able to
enjoy the benefits of modularisation by September
2006.
Forcing students into a modularised system in
their final year is an awfully big risk to take.
Students may not be so quickly adaptable and the
College should be reticent to engage in any
actions that could jeopardise their degree.
While it is certainly possible that students may
easily adapt to semesterised exams and a modularised system, every student is quite obviously
different.
Those students who entered UCD before
Horizons, particularly in the Humanities courses,
applied without the knowledge that they would
possibly be subjected to a modularised degree.
The College have entered into a moral contract
with these students and they have an obligation to
them.
The aim of the Horizons programme is that it
will become UCD’s flagship, attracting students
from around the country and across the world to
its standardised, internationalised degree courses.
Students will not however, wish to attend a
University that they feel has no interest in them.
Already there are concerns that the College’s
emphasis on research will have negative connotations for students. Anecdotal evidence suggests
that lecturers are spending less and less time with
their students in order to return to their own studies.
In order to have any chance of promotion in
UCD’s new structure one must be wholly committed to research.
Mary Clayton argues, to an extent quite rightly,
that in order to improve teaching, lecturers must
be at the cutting edge of research. Yet, a fine balance exists between the two.
She also argues that the two should not be in
opposition to each other. However, it seems that
excessive pressure put on lecturers to engage in
a ‘rat race’ of research will leave the students
short.
The administration of Brady, Nolan et al must
realise that while their aims are somewhat laudable their approach is far from it. Consultation with
academics and crucially students must take place.
This does not mean token meetings but real,
credible and inclusive forums of discussion where
the concerns of students are aired and actually
taken on board, in a transparent and constructive
manner.
If this does not take place far from becoming
Ireland’s premier University UCD will slip even further down the pecking order.
8 TRIBUNE LEADERS
4.10.05
FOR AMERICA TO
FAUSTUS TIME
BELATEDLY LEAVE IRAQ
Erasing the past,
sodomising the future
turbulent fortnight in the cesspit of this most venerable institution has induced Faustus to believe that all of UCD’s
hacks should be spliced, spleened and decapitated.
.....Alternatively Faustus has always enjoyed the punishment meted out to Prometheus. He feels that an eternity
spent tied to a rock having their livers pecked at by onrushing birds
would do them the power of good. Then again, it might be too good for
the hacks of the corridor.
Perhaps though even cowing to the pond life, is a message that they
are of even minimal importance. A lengthy and erudite lecture on the
mating habits of the Chinese box turtle might prove more useful.
Faustus misses, Richard Waghorne’s oh-so-informed ramblings on the
finer things in life. Faustus is sure “Tricky-Dicky-Pocket-Watch”
Waghorne had a great time with his Republican chums in America and
was so mortally upset when Richie lost that election. A fine if somewhat
delusional example of what a public servant should be.
A marked example in comparison to the ‘boyos’ currently inhabiting
the Union corridor. James ‘I can’t believe its not Teflon!” Carroll has
surely been marked for greater things in the Fianna Fail party. Rumour
has it that Bertie has his talent scouts out in UCD to watch what many
excited Soldiers of Destiny are describing as the next big thing, some
say he could be better than Ray Burke. Or even – and say it quietly now
– the big CJ.
Carroll is certainly learning the art of verbal gymnastics. Going so far
as to accuse the Tribune of trying to put words in his mouth. James, all
here at Tribune Towers reject the insinuation that we’re only after a
story. All we want is for everyone to get along. And then write happy
stories about how great everything is.
For his part Dave “Google Image Search is my bestest friend” Curran
has had a particularly horrific week. The poor wee lost little boy refuses to admit he’s done anything wrong. Obviously all those late nights
and deadlines have affected the poor guy.
In fairness though, he did, single-handedly, because he’s a hero,
manage to break all expectations and receive 178 nominations for
Class Rep. A fantastic achievement. Faustus has been around UCD for
many years and his heart has never swelled so much than when he
heard the SU had received 178 nominations. Pride does not express
adequately the feelings that your humble shit-stirrer felt upon hearing
the news.
Clearly primed for a career in politics Dave tried to cancel out any
negative feedback from the fact that he knowingly deceived the students of UCD with the news that 178 people were craven enough to
apply for class rep.
In this case two wrongs most certainly don’t make a right. Faustus
has some admiration that the permanently hatted one refuses to apologise. He admires his dogged determination and his comic like ability
to make jokes about it at council.
In other less exciting news the Freshers’ Ball went off without a hitch.
Obviously it did include the usual brawls, lewd behaviour and drunken
antics, not to mention a poor headlining act (Mundy in 2003 anyone?);
but where would the glamour and sophistication of the Freshers’ Ball be
without these staples of high-brow UCD nightlife?
A new addition to the convoluted social fabric of UCD may well have
arrived in the form of the personal safety alarms being sold by the good
folks in the corridor. Dan “Mushroom Head? More like broccoli”
Hayden’s brainchild, these loud and noisy sonic grenades will surely be
spicing up a lecture near you very soon and driving our lecturers ever
closer to those inevitable nervous breakdowns.
It has also come to the divine Faustus’ attention that Campus
University Network Television Station is to air very soon. Faustus is
sure their not-so-exclusive interview with Dr. Cox will have them watching it for all of two seconds on the plush
leather sofas of the Student Centre in no time.
Pamela “That’s Director-General to you”
Newenham will have her work cut out trying to
distract students from the shiny things on
sale at the Kiosk.
At this stage Faustus would like to
thank Jane Horgan Jones for
being lovely. No offence
Enda. She brightens up
his day. Adieu my
sweet.
A
s
u
t
s
u
a
f
Dan Finn argues that American involvement in Iraq is causing
nothing but harm and argues that it’s time to allow Iraq to help itself
Two years after George Bush proclaimed “mission accomplished”, Iraq still hasn’t sunk into
peaceful obscurity.
Appalling scenes of carnage on the streets of Baghdad and
other Iraqi cities have forced it back onto the news agenda.
The threat of civil war is now very real.
While the Americans and their supporters insist that foreign
troops must remain until Iraq’s problems have been solved, it
is becoming more and more obvious that the US presence
itself is the main cause of those problems.
An American withdrawal may not end the violence in Iraq.
But there will certainly be no peace as long as foreign troops
remain on Iraqi soil.
Too often the debate surrounding the Iraq war has focused
on its implications for western politics. This is hardly surprising, since
the main voices in the debate,
from Donald Rumsfeld to George
Galloway, have all been westerners. Very little attention has been
paid to what the Iraqis themselves
have to say.
As you would expect, Iraqi opinion contains many bitter divisions.
But it’s clear now that a consensus
has emerged among Iraqis in
opposition to US policy – a consensus that the “liberators” of the
Iraqi people have chosen to
ignore.
The elections that took place earlier this year were hailed by the Bush administration as a triumph for their policies. That they could make this claim with
a straight face merely tells us something we already knew –
these people will stand truth on its head without any shame or
hesitation.
In reality, the people of Iraq used the elections as an opportunity to vote against the American military presence.
Washington’s chosen candidate Allawi was heavily defeated.
The United Iraqi Alliance (UIA) was the clear winner.
A central plank of the UIA’s programme was the demand
that a timetable be set for the withdrawal of foreign troops.
George Bush responded bluntly: “we will not set an artificial timetable for leaving Iraq … we are in Iraq to achieve a
result.”
Tony Blair was equally adamant. There is no question that
a majority of Iraqis want a timetable (even if it is an “artificial”
one) to be announced. But pesky Iraqis are not allowed to
make decisions about their own welfare. Washington knows
best.
Having hailed the bravery of those who came out to vote,
Bush and Blair then solemnly informed the Iraqi people that
their wishes would be ignored.
In June of this year, 83 Iraqis MPs (almost one-third of the
total) put forward a motion in the National Assembly, restating
the demand for a withdrawal timetable, and accusing the new
government of backsliding on its election promises under US
pressure.
Falah Hassan Shneishel told a press conference that “the
presence of the occupation forces gives a pretext for the continuation of violence and terrorism that have taken the lives of
thousands of Iraqis.”
A member of the victorious UIA, Abdul-Rahman al-Neeimi,
charged the US-led forces with having “used all possible
means in order to provoke a sectarian strife in Iraq”, and concluded by saying: “we tell the occupation forces: hands off the
Iraqi people and let us heal our wounds by our own means.”
This parliamentary opposition to the presence of foreign
troops had been preceded by a massive anti-occupation
march in April that brought 300,000 people onto the streets of
Baghdad. The Bush administration would have you believe
that the only opposition to its presence in Iraq comes from
Sunni Muslims who want to restore Ba’athist rule.
Yet the demonstration had been called by Moqtada AlSadr, a Shia cleric, and the vast majority of the demonstrators
were Shi’ites. They burnt effigies of Saddam Hussein, George
Bush and Tony Blair, emphasising that they wanted neither
the return of Saddam’s tyranny nor occupation by foreign
troops.
No matter how often they are assured that American troops
are there to protect them from terrorism and safeguard Iraq’s
march towards freedom, the Iraqi people draw different conclusions.
Consider the experience
of Falluja, the city that was
sacked by US-led forces last
year. In April 2003, US
troops occupied a local secondary school.
When a crowd of peaceful
demonstrators demanded
the re-opening of the school,
they were fired on, with 13
fatalities. Two days later,
the US army machinegunned another peaceful
march: two more civilians were
killed.
This experience turned Falluja into a
hot-bed of armed resistance. It was punished for its defiance
by the US: in November of last year the city was flattened by
occupation forces. 200,000 refugees fled the city.
The number of civilian casualties is unknown, because the
coalition forces took great care to silence eye-witnesses. The
first major operation carried out by US troops was their
assault on Falluja General Hospital.
According to the New York Times, “the hospital was selected as an early target because the American military believed
that it was the source of rumors about heavy casualties … this
time around, the American military intends to fight its own
information war.”
Doctors were arrested and the hospital was placed under
military control. Journalists were also muzzled. Abdel Kader
Al-Saadi, a journalist for Al-Arabiyah who was not “embedded” with US troops, was arrested and detained for the length
of the siege.
Media coverage of Iraq is dominated by images of suicide
bombings. But the most reliable survey shows that US-led
forces have killed four times as many civilians as the antioccupation groups.
George Bush and Tony Blair have more blood on their
hands than the fundamentalist lunatics led by Abu Musab AlZarqawi. Most Iraqis detest Al-Zarqawi and his ilk, but they
don’t see foreign troops as their protectors. On the contrary,
they condemn the failure of the US to protect Iraqis from terrorism, and accuse them of fueling violence and sectarian
strife.
It’s too late for the occupation forces to play a constructive
role in Iraq. Whatever good-will Iraqis may have felt towards
them in 2003 has long since been squandered.
Having killed thousands of civilians, re-opened Saddam’s
torture chambers, and ignored the wishes of the Iraqi people,
the “Coalition of the Willing” should now bow out as soon as
possible, before it does any more damage.
If America announced its intention to withdraw from Iraq, it
would take the sting out of the insurgency and give the Iraqis
a chance to repair the mess. It’s time to go.
QUOTES OF THE FORTNIGHT
“Sure Daniel Wang, he’s a bit of a living legend”
UCD Student Union President James Carroll response to the revealation that
Daniel Wang was a fictitious character
“The carpet was black, it smelled like urine, there was writing on
all the walls from floor to ceiling and on the cabinets, there were
holes in the walls and the front door was gone.”
Josh Kimball, one of the USCB students who sub-let his apartment to Irish Students
“I think there is, as there always has been for the last couple of years,
a high expectation level that Ireland bring into the Six Nations”
Irish International rugby star Denis Hickey looks forward to the season ahead
LETTERS & EDITORIAL 9
4.10.05
LETTERS
The College Tribune reserves the right to edit all letters.
The views expressed on this page are the views of the
letter writers and do not reflect the views of the College
Tribune.
EDITORIAL
SANTA BARBARA
he damage caused to the tune of $15,000 in Isla
Vista, Santa Barbara, by Irish students seems
to be endemic of current youth culture.
The acts were perpetrated by students from
affluent backgrounds who appear to have a
complete and utter disregard for property.
The pictures released to the College Tribune depict a
sordid and craven scene. It seems impossible that anyone
could live in such a debased manner.
It is also clear that these events have sullied the name
of Irish students and will impinge on future students travelling to America.
While Irish students are notorious for enjoying themselves perhaps a little too much, events in Santa Barbara
have taken it too a new and worrying level.
It is also clear that these incidents took place due to wild
parties and excessive alcohol consumption.
Few people would argue that students’ stop drinking,
indeed many would argue that it is essential to a rounded
college experience.
However, what occurred in Santa Barabara is beyond
the archetypal drunk Irish student and can in many ways
be seen as the maturation of the Celtic Tiger Cubs.
Never before have Irish students had so much money at
their disposal and come from such comfortable backgrounds.
Our newfound affluence has corrupted many Irish students and left them without any sense of duty or respect.
T
DANIEL WANG
he fact that Daniel Wang was not a class rep in
2002/03, was never a student in UCD and in fact
does not exist leads to concern about the
Students’
Union
Deputy
President.
Dave Curran is responsible for campaigns and
as such was responsible for the posters plastered around
campus encouraging students to run for class rep election.
As such, the buck must ultimately stop with him.
Neither Curran, nor Students’ Union President James
Carroll, seem to believe they have done anything wrong.
The poster has, however, misrepresented an individual
and in effect lied to the students of UCD, the people that the
Union are supposed to represent and the people that pay
their wages.
In addition to this, the poster is open to claims of tokenism
and sends out all the wrong signals to foreign students’ in
UCD.
The impact of this issue could have been greatly reduced
if Dave Curran apologised for his actions and admitted that
it was wrong to place the fictitious Daniel Wang on the
poster.
Curran’s refusal to admit that he was wrong, or indeed
even to realise he was wrong, raises serious concerns
regarding his competency.
The Students’ Union must be an institution that students
can trust. In light of the current developments this is far from
a certainty.
The Union must be applauded for their stance on the roll
out in modularisation and indeed most other aspects of
their work.
However, the response of both Dave Curran and James
Carroll and their attempts to threat the matter in a trivial and
light-hearted manner is appalling.
In order for trust to be restored in the Union a full and genuine apology must be issued.
T
CRAIC SOC
PRESS RELEASE
Craic Society issues Cornetto warning after “pissing out ass”
fiasco.
The Craic Society wish to thank everybody who turned up to
the extravageansaí yesterday. Unfortunately, it did not go as
planned. While various other societies are allowed to drink cans
in any manner they choose, we are herded around the campus
like pariahs and lepers.
Once again, Craic Soc outsmarted Services. We won’t gloat
too much about this however, because it is not a difficult feat.
After our initial rendezvous was disrupted by four Gardaí cars
and a bunch of services who intimidated and bullied those present, we decided that Top Secret Plan B would be instigated.
Everyone was told to disperse and regroup behind Roebuck
Castle at 6pm, where we had a sound system already waiting.
Then we cranked that motherfucker up and partied like it was
1993. Craic Soc has no respect for the college authorities and
their totalitarian regime. Seig Heil Herr Brady. Further to this,
Craic Soc is disgusted at the manner in which the (Back to Work
Programme) Services harass students and pathetically attempt
to be more intelligent than us. Craic Soc calls on all students
never to hand over a student card. Even better, steal someone
else’s and then hand that one over.
Craic Soc claims responsibility for the crazy redhead who
flashed her bountiful breasts at the bar staff and mooned
Services as one of our brave valiant soldiers of Craic. Tesie, the
redhead in question, was reportedly heard to say, “I really should
not have taken all those Class A’s this summer. I saw the guys
in trouble and I realised that the only way to distract Services
was to flash my tits.”
Craic Soc will not be cowed. We will endeavour to bring Craic
back to Belfield. From now on, we intend to use more innovative
organisational methods to provide drinking sessions on-campus.
José Cappuccino of the Craic Soc Committee said last night, “I
would rather have my testicles ravaged by a pack of seething
hyenas than have my booze confiscated by those degenerate
Services. No-one stands in the way of me getting fucked up!
Mark my words, I will personally wreak havoc and revenge on all
those responsible for wreckin’ me buzz, man.”
Craic Soc wishes to refute all rumours that we intend applying
for recognition. We are recognised en masse by the student
body. Society Treasurer Barney was heard to comment last
night as he was urinating against a Services van, “Craic Soc
breathes a new life into the hearts and minds of disillusioned students who feel let down and ripped off by the large societies.”
Miley from Glenroe, an honourary member of the Craic Soc
Committee further claimed, “The Cornettos handed out during
Freshers’ Week gave me diarrhoea. I’m not the only one either,
there was a queue outside the jacks all night. The kebabs in
Abrakebabra are also rumoured to be responsible for this ‘liquid
shit’ epidemic”
It’s time to occupy our minds.
Craic Soc.
SU PLUMBING
SERVICE?
Sir,
Quoting UCDSU President James Carroll: "If there's a leak in
(sic) the roof in Roebuck, students don't care if I'm left or right,
up or down, black or white, gay or straight as long as the roof is
fixed".
Was James Carroll elected Head Plumber? (Does he just do
Box 74, Student Centre &
LG 18, John Henry Newman Building, Dublin 4
Telephone: 01 - 7168501
E-mail: tribune@campus.ie
UCD? The whole city! Great! I've a toilet needs unblocking out on
the northside and he sounds like the just the chap! He'll be out
tomorrow? Brilliant! 300 Euros and I can use the top notch bathroom facilities in the Bar in the interim? Superb!)
If this is not the case and he was in fact elected President of
UCDSU it is still odious (a bit like that toilet) for him to presume
to speak for all 'students' and even more so to decide unilaterally what they or do not care about. So odious, in fact, that I propose that once he has done his business and fixed the leak he be
'left up' (geddit?) on the roof of Roebuck until he realises that
some students may be a little interested in, and, more importantly, that they have every right to know, his doubtless fascinating
opinion on, well, anything.
PS. I refer here only to his assertion re: 'left or right'. His mood,
colour and orientation are, as he correctly states, private issues.
If he's getting 300 quid to unblock a jacks here and there I'd say
he's usually in good form though.
PPS. To Arts students: the toilet is, of course, odiferous.
PPPS. Mr Carroll will, he assures me, be out my side of the city
'any day now' to see to it. The 'bleedin traffic' having been responsible for his numerous missed appointments.
Yours sincerely,
Brendan Cole,
UCD School of History
UCD SOCCER
Dear Sir,
The UCD AFC Supporters' Club was distressed to see that the
soccer section of your freshers' guide failed to note that UCD is,
in fact,in Dublin. While we don't usually associate the glorious
semi-pro tradition of UCD AFC with overpaid mediocrity like
Shels and Bohs, or financially suspect relegation-fodder like
Shamrock Rovers or St Pat's Athletic, we would appreciate it if a
UCD paper producing a guide for the sake of UCD students
would be so nice as to notice that there is
an eircom League ground hidden just a few minutes walk from
their offices. No, we refer not to the mythical home ground of
Rovers, but instead to Belfield Park, which is over by Glenomena
and the Nova Centre in the south-east of the campus.
Yours etc.,
John Healy,
Engineering
OBITUARY
A UCD student tragically passed
away over the summer months.
Darius Vasseghi, an engineering
student, died as a result of Sudden
Cardiac Death Syndrome.
The College Tribune would like to
extend its’ sincere sympathies to
Darius’ family and his many friends
in UCD.
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NEWS • FEATURES • MUSIC • PHOTOGRAPHY • FILM • SPORT• COLOUR
10 FEATURES
4.10.05
“FRANKLY MY DEAR
I DON’T GIVE A DAMN”
In an age of equal rights, instant gratification and ‘independent women,’ it seems the day of the “gentlemen”
has become truly numbered. Eileen O’Malley ponders the question; where have all the gentlemen gone?
Where were they in the first place, I
hear you cry? As the great philosophers; ‘Destiny Child’ once said, we
may well be ‘independent women’, but
that doesn’t mean women don’t still
have the desire to be swept off their feet
occasionally and treated like the ladies
that they are.
There is no need to start ‘men bashing’, nor is
there a desire to bring us back to the days of yore,
when men were men and women were seen
rather than heard. Rather, this is a plea to all men
to rediscover their swath internal ‘Mr. Darcy’ as it
were and re-discover the art of being a true gentleman.
This does not however, mean ‘generously’ buying the girl you fancy one too many vodka’s, in the
hope that she’ll get so hammered that you’ll actually have a chance with her. Nor does it mean
sharing your curry chips at the end of the night
because you were too damn scabby to buy her a
bag.
It goes much deeper than that. Have all the
equality of the sexes and feminism you want, but
there is still room in our society for courtesy, manners, kindness and a dash of chivalry. By all
means this cuts across gender boundaries, but
there is something to be said for the survival of
the ‘gentleman’ in a society that has become
wrapped up in anonymity and instant gratification.
Rumour has it that men, or should I say boys,
are only ever ‘gentlemen’ to the girls they fancy or
want to lunge (refer to page 23). Shocking isn’t it?
But the mark of a true man is one that does not
discriminate between; size eight perky blondes
and the more “robust” ladies among us.
But what does it take to be a true gentleman?
It’s more than just opening doors and buying dinner. It is in fact an attitude. Some would even go
as far as to call it a ‘lifestyle choice’.
Being a gentleman has nothing to do with affluence and everything to do with maturity and
charm. Boys take note, once mastered; being a
gentleman will reap its own rewards. Mastering
such an art form should not be hard, it just takes
practice.
The basics are as follows:
• Opening doors. This is a classic move and
one that has definitely become a rarity around
Belfield. Be watchful of girls behind and in front of
you, then it’s just of case of keeping the door open
for them. Eye contact is encouraged. A wink is
not, as it borders on sleazy. Gentlemen should
never be sleazy.
• Walk a girl to her door, bus stop, taxi,
Nightlink, etc. There is nothing worse then being
left to wander the dark streets of Dublin alone in
the early hours of the morning. We may insist that
we’re well capable of walking there alone, but it’s
a lie used to test you. Leave us to walk alone and
you have failed miserably.
• Offer to pay. Emphasis on the word ‘offer.’ If
the girl is anyway decent she’ll pay her way equally now and again. But there is nothing worse than
a cheap date, so offer to pay when you can.
• Compliments. This one speaks for itself. Don’t
wait to be prompted, just tell her she looks well,
it’s not rocket science. It’ll charm the hardest of
women.
• Offer her your coat. Old fashioned maybe, but
it’s the small details that count.
• Carry her stuff. Whether it is her pink handbag or her books, offer to lend a hand.
• Offer your seat. Yes our shoes are usually as
uncomfortable as they look.
• Refrain from sleazy activity. This includes
leering, (we do in fact notice that its not our eyes
your looking at) drunken rambling and chat up
attempts.
• And finally - Be careful not to come across as
a cocky b**stard. Simple. Confidence is intrinsic
with mastering the art of being a gentleman, cockiness is not. There is a fine but important line
between them.
Once these basics are perfected it’s just a case
of being yourself, if not a more refined version,
remembering to say please and thank you, then
add a dash of suave and sprinkle of sophistication
and you are on your way to becoming a true gentleman. Let the swooning begin.
TOILET HUMOUR AND
THE FAIRER SEX
A brave Christina Finn dons her rubber gloves and reports
from the literary treasure trove that is the women’s toilets and
uncovers some startling discoveries about the female psyche.
The world today revolves around our ability to express ourselves. All we ever seem
to talk about is our emotions, our feelings
and the array of problems we experience.
Everywhere we turn it’s around us, Oprah, Dr.
Phil, Trisha and all those other self help programmes
where poor lost souls divulge their problems for the
world to see.
Well we are no different, a fact I found out on
our very own campus.
Yes people, we too are
self- obsessed with our
little problems but
unlike many others we
have somewhere to
vent our frustration
with our lives.
We however, have
found a way of seeking help with anonymity. Where you ask?
What a better place
but the toilet walls.
These walls display
an array of problems
that our fellow students are experiencing from course
choices, heartache
and break-ups, sexual health to just basically being lonely
and having no one
else to talk to but the
wall.
As we are such a caring bunch of folk here at UCD
we do not leave these desperate beings in the dark
to deal with their grief alone, no, the toilet walls have
become a whiteboard, a messaging service and a
helpline to many.
I noticed that U.C.D graffiti is no longer just the “I
LOVE…” with a big heart surrounding it. We are far
more specific and somewhat more explicit.
People go into detail about their relationships and
what’s going on with them. One of the most popular
ways it seems to tell all about your crappy love life
without acknowledging that it is yours is the good old
hypothetical question. The ‘What would you do…. ‘.
It is pure genius and we have all used it at one
stage to get some advice not for us of course but for
a friend.
One such girl wrote in one of the library toilets,
“What would you do if you slept with someone and
thought they were sound and then he blanks you
after?” Here is a girl with a very common student
problem seeking some help and guidance, which a
fellow student responds, “Cut off his ****!”
Another
such
problem in the same category
was “What would you do if your boyfriend cheated
on you with your mate?” This sparked pretty much
the same response as above but also throwing in a
bit of punishment for the mate! One response got
straight to the point by just stating “MEN R EVIL!”
An additional response came from a girl who
chose to lend a helping hand by writing down the
number of a ‘hot man’ who she had a great night
with. Sharing is caring as they say! Another student
spoke out about her relationship with a married man
for which she was abused about, good to see we still
have some
morals in UCD.
The walls do not only speak of our love problems. People also appear to be a little confused about their college choices, and instead
of seeking the professional advice from the
available services they turn to the
walls for the guidance that will ultimately shape their future.
One such female asks the lifechanging question “Should I quit
college cause I hate it?”
Well the answer is clear to one
student who says “Do Politics!” and
to another who adds “Don’t do
History, do Irish!” It’s good to see
we all look out for each other here,
even to the anonymous student
when they need expert advice. “The
more I study, the more I learn, the
more I learn, the more I forget, the
more I forget, the less I learn, so
why study!” Another fine example of
toilet poetry!
So is this graffiti a form of expression or are people simply having a
laugh? The walls have become
somewhat like an internet forum for
the students where one posts up
about some meaningless trivial
things and get yet more meaningless
responses!
I have a theory that this vandalism
is simply a form of venting out what we’re thinking or what we’re angry about. Instead of
screaming at the person next to you in the
library about how much you hate studying or
about how if they don’t stop breathing so
bloody loudly your going to slam your laptop
over their head, students seem to retreat quietly to the bathroom to vent their frustration and
voice their anger at the world.
One girl did this, and I think she speaks for
all of us when she writes, “BAN THE TAN- Too
many orange people in UCD!” Thank God, it’s
about time somebody said it!
Loneliness appears to be a major problem
occurring here in U.C.D. It wasn’t to long ago I
was a meek little first year, lets not forget that
this place can be pretty daunting without the
support of friends. This problem is a key theme
recurring in our campus graffiti.
This lonely girl seems to have no one else to
talk to but the wall, “I wish was dead, I hate
UCD, I’ve no friends.” A caring student replies,
“Grow up you are pathetic”. Real understanding. Sure that’s just what she needed to hear.
“I have recently returned to UCD and I’d like
to get in contact with my old classmates, how
should I go about this?” writes one student. Is
the cubicle wall really the only contact network
she could use? Is there such a lack of help that
one must resort to writing their problems in
such a desperate way?
Although it can’t be denied that this toilet
graffiti problem solving could be simply a load
of crap, no pun intended, one can’t deny that it
does touch the surface of a lot of student problems.
We all laugh about the new writings on the
wall in the toilets or theatres, and think that it’s
hilarious and a godsend through those killer
lectures when we’d rather read the table than
the handout, but these problems can be somewhat normal to everyday student life.
Of course they can be somewhat exaggerated, but these problems could have some sort
of root to someone’s real life dilemma so you
never know they could be helping someone
feel they aren’t alone in UCD. On the other
hand if you’re in the mood for a giggle why not
check out the scandal or the new Ode to a pint
of vodka!
You never know what you might find, some
love life advice, career guidance a listening ear
or if you are lucky a hot guy’s phone number!
FEATURES 11
4.10.05
“THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT LEFT US DRY”
As America recovers from barrages against its homeland Eoin Mac Aodha speaks to
Patrick Clarke, an Irish student who spent 3 days in the New Orleans Superdome.
“That’s the one thing that the TV cameras just can’t tell you about. The smell
of the place was just unbearable. There
was no running water, no flushing
water. People were just walking around
in waste, it was just vile, absolutely disgusting.”
Like so many Irish students, Patrick Clarke
spent his summer working in America with a couple of friends in the tranquil surrounds of Myrtle
Beach, North California. At the end of the summer, they bucked the traditional trend of heading off to New York, Las Vegas or Chicago
and instead chose to holiday in New Orleans.
Patrick and his friends were in New Orleans for
five days before Hurricane Katrina hit.
Staying in a hostel with no TV or radio the lads
were oblivious to the oncoming storm, they were
“just out having a good time, watching the news
wasn’t exactly a big deal, We didn’t even get any
word form the hostel to tell us that the hurricane
was coming, in fact we actually paid $35 each to
get into the Superdome on the Friday night
before the storm hit to see a New Orleans Saints
football match. It was only when we were in the
sports shop that we saw the weather channel
briefly and there was some blurb about a hurricane yet everyone was ignoring it and having a
good time.”
At this early stage, the general feeling around
the city was that there was a storm coming, they
would hole up in their houses for a couple of
days and emerge unscathed. Hurricanes were a
fact of life, just something that happened. No big
deal, life would go on.
It was only when the lads went to get their connecting flight to New York on their way home that
they realised that the storm was serious. All
flights out of New Orleans had been cancelled,
as had all trains and buses, leaving them no
option but to wait the storm out.
“We were getting a bit nervous, part of the
adventure, it doesn’t really matter and then we
started talking to people and realised that this
was a lot worse than people were making it out
to be.
“After we found out the flight was cancelled
we went round to get supplies, tinned foods and
microwaveable meals.”
Like many international travellers, Patrick and
his friends decided to stay in the hostel. However,
as the days went by, more and more were evacuated to the Superdome. They were advised that
“if you can’t leave town, go to the Superdome,
that’s where the national guard are going to be,
that’s where you’ll get food and water and all the
rest.”
Initially, they were just happy to be in the
dome, “we were thinking lets’ just wait for the hurricane to pass and then we’ll go home. That’s the
attitude and that was the attitude everyone else
had in the dome as well. We’re all in this together, we’ll all get out of this together, lets’ just grin
and bear it.”
However, as the rations began to run out and
cabin fever set in, the atmosphere in the dome
began to sour.
“There were just children everywhere, babies
everywhere, families everywhere, not having
enough food not having enough water, just
grouped together. As time went on people started
getting a lot more frustrated, you’d have to queue
two or three hours just to get breakfast, that’s no
problem, but when they only give you one meal
and two bottles of water to do you for five or six
hours.
Peoples tempers were starting to get frayed,
they started arguing, we saw the beginnings of
fights starting, once you heard certain noises you
wouldn’t go down and queue for food because
you knew that the crowd was just going
bananas.”
Media reports regarding Katrina concentrated
on the racial divisions in New Orleans and the
fact that it was the black community who were
forced to stay and brave the storm. As part of a
minority of white people in the Superdome,
Patrick, rejects allegations that white people were
treated in any way differently.
In the end, they were evacuated from the
Superdome “because it was eventually too dangerous for us to be there and up to that we
weren’t being treated in anyway different or told
anything different.”
They left the arena as the first reports of rape
and attacks began to filter through, hours before
“stuff really started to go down”.
As the post mortem continues over the governments response to the hurricane, Patrick believes
that “The federal government left us dry, they did
nothing to help us, it was the good people on the
ground in New Orleans that are the only reason
we are alive. It was the National Guard, it was the
medical staff, it was the people actually there
doing the work, that was the reason it was not a
complete disaster, I can’t praise these people
enough. The government did nothing.”
HURRICANE KATRINA: AS IT DEVASTATES NEW ORLEANS
Thinking about your future? Come along to
UCD
CAREERS
FAIR
***THURSDAY 13 OCTOBER***
At O’REILLY HALL, BELFIELD
11.00 am - 4.00 pm
• Meet 60 employers & organisations on one day
• Opportunities for students and graduates of all disciplines
• Final year, postgraduates, and penultimate year students
• Collect application packs and find out about recruitment procedures
Organised by UCD Careers and Appointments Office
Further details on www.ucd.ie/careers
COMMERCIAL FEATURE
CAREERS FAIR
ON CAMPUS
The Careers Office has organised a Careers Fair on campus
on 13 October, mainly for final year undergraduate and postgraduate students seeking to start their careers in
summer/autumn 2005.
The Fair will take place from 11.00am to 4.00pm in O’Reilly Hall, adjacent
to the lake.
Many of the employers attending will also have summer internships for
penultimate year students. The Fair is also open to recent UCD graduates.
Over 60 employers and organisations will be present and the opportunity
will exist for students and graduates of all disciplines.
Some employers at the fair may also accept CV’s and applications at the
fair.
Some employers present at the fair include:
Abbott Ireland Diagnostics Division, ACCA Ireland, Accenture, AHEAD (to
be confirmed), AIB Group, Aldi Stores Ireland, Anglo Irish Bank, Arthur Cox,
Bank of Ireland Group, BCM Hanby Wallace, BDO Simpson Xavier, BristolMyers Squibb, Canada Life, CIMA, Citigroup, Civil Service, The College of
Law, Deloitte, Diageo – Guinness, Baileys, Smirnoff, Dunnes Stores,
Enterprise Rent-a-Car, Ernst & Young, ESL Opportunities, FAS Overseas
Graduate Programme, Glanbia, Gradireland, Grant Thornton, IBM, Inst of
Certified Public Accountants (CPA), Inst of Chartered Accountants in Ireland,
Intel Ireland, International Fund Services (Ireland), Investors Trust Ireland, Irish
Cement, i-to-i Ireland, JET Programme, Kerry Group, Kingspan Group,
Kinnear Chartered Accountants, KPMG, McCann FitzGerald, McKinsey &
Company, Mars Inc, Matheson Ormsby Prentice, Mazars, Murex Advanced
Technologies, Perot Systems, Pfizer Ireland Pharmaceuticals,
PricewaterhouseCoopers, Procter & Gamble, Public Appointments Service,
Quintiles Ireland, RPS Group, Servier (Irl) Industries, SIG, Stryker Instruments,
Tyndall National Institute (formerly NMRC), UCD Postgraduate Studies, UCD
Smurfit School, Xilinx Ireland.
12 FEATURES
4.10.05
WHIPPING CLINTON INTO SHAPE
Kate Hayes talks to Bill Clintons former speechwriter Ted Widmer and talks about George Bush, Whips and Iraq
Phrases like ‘a way with words’ and ‘an
ability to work under pressure’ come to
mind when describing a Presidential
speechwriter and certainly Ted
Widmer, a former speechwriter for
President Clinton, seems to have those
in abundance.
It’s a job, however, he may never have had.
The FBI, it seems, were deeply concerned about
Widmer’s glam rock past and in particular one
song he wrote entitled ‘Monarchy in the USA’.
“They asked me if I was a practising monarchist
and I replied practising no.” he says with a smile.
That was 1997 only the beginning of what
would be five years in the Whitehouse for him,
firstly, as Director of Speech-Writing in the
National Security Council and then, from 2000, as
a Senior Advisor to President Clinton.
He clearly has many fond memories but it
seems his visit to Ireland as Clinton’s principal
speechwriter during that historic time of the Good
Friday Agreement in 1998 stands out. “The Irish
speeches were really fun. It was really a joyful
experience because the mood was good and the
reception was going to be good and we knew the
Irish people liked Bill Clinton.
Also the areas of culture
and politics and history to
explore were very rich, so
to sit around reading about
Irish literature and history is
really very satisfying”
At that time the possibility of impeachment loomed
large on the horizon for
Clinton
following
the
Monica Lewinsky scandal.
Northern Ireland was he
says “the turning point in
Clinton’s Presidency”. It
was at a speech made at a
mall in Armagh at 5pm” he
describes “The mall was in
the centre, a Protestant
church faced it on one side
and a Catholic church on the other”.
There on that Irish evening Clinton likened
Northern Ireland to Kosovo and Israel, opening
people eyes to the fact that their struggle is not an
isolated one. For Widmer “that was when Bill
Clinton really found his legs as a Presidential
peacemaker”.
Responding to last week’s announcement that
the IRA have destroyed all their arms Widmer
harks back to Clinton’s involvement “I thought this
happened in George Bush’s Presidency but it
really goes back to the conversations and the
enormous personal involvement Bill Clinton had
with these problems. Bill
Clinton’s obviously not
President but it’s nice to
see there’s still some
echoes of his time.”
An utterly modest man,
Widmer, jovially summarising the work of a speechmaker as “here’s our policy
make it sound pretty”.
Speaking more seriously,
however, he states that
while a speechwriter’s influence is not huge neither
should it be overlooked.
“You are shaping the
word that will become a
Presidential speech, that is
not unimportant. You’re
often in a position of brokering a dispute between
different important people who want a speech to
say something. You are the next to final author,
Clinton himself is the final author, so you are making decisions that do have meaning for the quality of the speech and the policies that are referred
to in it.”
Unavoidably the speechwriter becomes inextricably linked with whom he is writing for. “When
you think of a spark of an idea often it’s in some
way a response to what he has already said. So
you start thinking what would Bill Clinton like to be
saying up there, so even if you come up with a
new formulation he is, in some way, the author
before you have even come up with a new idea”
Writing a speech for someone requires familiarity with their manner of speaking. “You do start
PHOTO: FILE
to get into the rhythms of the other person.
That’s a very important part of it I think, to learn
those rhythms and then adopt them”.
For the former Whitehouse staff-member
certain expressions for him have become synonymous with the Clinton Presidency. “He liked
the words opportunity and responsibility which
he said helped to reinforce that he didn’t want
to be just a liberal, it was claiming to be entitled
to something. He said it was very important for
people to have the chance to do something and
then also to exercise that right with responsibility.”
It is Clinton’s personality and style of
address, which feature prominently in the
speech Ted Widmer gives to a packed room in
the aptly named William Jefferson Clinton
Auditorium in UCD. Describing the former
President as “a world-class talker” he paints a
portrait of an erudite and passionate leader
with a gift for oratory.
Clinton, he says, spoke with a much “more
musical way of speaking, a sing-song sound
more like that of the Irish accent” than most
people from the south would. This combined
with a simple, conversational style drew people
in.
It was a new approach to speechmaking
Widmer feels.
“Up until him
Presidential
oratory
was
very formal and
only
certain
words could be
used.
Bill
Clinton
did
something
new.”
This ease on
stage is legendary. Who
can forget that
f a m o u s
moment when
t
h
e
teleprompter
broke during a speech and Clinton continued
talking for eight full minutes until the screen
was fixed.
It is an incident emblematic of Clinton’s ease
on stage. A skill Widmer feels John Kerry lacks.
“I don’t think he’s a bad speaker but I don’t
know if I’d call him a great speaker either. I’d
call him a decent speaker but if he’d been a little more relaxed, a little smoother especially in
the kind of TV setting that Bill Clinton is so good
in I think he would have done better. I don’t
remember him doing a whole lot of those conversational interviews and I think if he were better at it he
would
have
been more successful”
President
Bush
also
doesn’t match
up: “I think he’s
much
better
than
people
say but he still
can’t
touch
Clinton.
You
often get the
feeling
he
doesn’t like to TED WIDMER: FORMER GLAM ROCKER AND PRESIDENTIAL SPEECH WRITER
be on stage
US was viewed as an aggressor. I don’t think
very hard career and a somewhat thankless one
with Clinton for
Clinton would have done what Bush did”
even from those who you work for but it is a
that reason.”
A quiet, humorous man, Ted Widmer resemtremendously fascinating one. I think their needs
Of course it’s not the only comparison that can
bles more an academic than a former Presidential
to be a bit of the maverick in a good speechbe drawn between the two leaders. Despite
speechwriter, so it unsurprising that he has since
writer.”
Clinton having spent two terms in office, a feat
returned to his roots and is currently Director of
Certainly The Washington Post think so, they
achieved by only three other Democratic
the C.V Starr Centre for the Study of the
printed a picture of Widmer with his glam rock
Presidents, Widmer senses that Clinton is disapAmerican Experience at Washington College,
band, The Upper Crust, on the front cover of their
pointed to never have got the chance to solve an
Chestertown. Speechwriting is something he
Style section just shortly after he had started at
enormous problem like Iraq. The opportunity for
doesn’t see himself returning to, not even for
the Whitehouse. In the shot he was dressed in full
greatness only comes with the chance to solve a
Hilary Clinton?
regalia and holding a whip.
major problem.
“I think she’s a very impressive person, she’s
So any jamming sessions with President
While he readily admits that Clinton did publicly
extremely different from her husband. I think my
Clinton in the Oval Office? “ No I never did, I wish
support the sending of troops to Iraq he views it
I had I ‘m sure it would be really fun. I don’t know
more as a goodwill gesture from one President to style fitted with Bill Clinton’s style and I’m not sure
it would work as well with her. I do admire her and
if he plays the sax nearly as often as people think.
another. He is adamant things would have been
I think she’s going to run, I don’t know if she’s
I think it’s probably the last thing he’d ever imagvery different if Clinton had been President. “The
going to win but I don’t expect to be her speechine--to appear with me on a rock stage. But the
Iraq response would have been very different.
writer.”
fact that he loved music was one of the many
Bush went in before the world community had a
It is a job he says for a younger person. “It’s a
things I liked about him.”
chance to make up its mind and as a result the
I’d call him a decent
speaker but if he’d
been a little more
relaxed, a little
smoother especially
in the kind of TV
setting that Bill
Clinton is so good in
I think he would
have done better
“
The Iraq response would
have been very different.
Bush went in before the
world community had a
chance to make up its
mind and as a result the
US was viewed as an
aggressor. I don’t think
Clinton would have done
what Bush did
“
FEATURES 13
4.10.05
THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH
The College Tribune’s very own Young Indiana Jones, Derry Nairn, sets aside his whip and Stetson to
bring us tales from the Orient. In this first instalment our man travels through the urban jungles of China
THE GREAT WALL OF CHINA: ONE OF THE MANY SIGHTS OUR INTREPID REPORTER PERUSED TO ON HIS EPIC JOURNEY
I believe it was Terry Pratchett who
wrote that nine times out of ten, it’s the
one in a million chances that come off.
I’ve had two months now to reflect from
the relative safety of the Arts Block on
my idiotically haphazard journey from
Japan to Finland. I somehow completed
it all unscathed, the whole summer
seems now as if it was blessed from
start to finish by a particularly generous
guardian angel.
Crossing Mongolian
borders and negotiating Chinese red light
districts is all well and
good for the locals and
those of us with an
accompanying
film
crew
(Ewan
McGregor, I’m looking
in your direction). Your
average Wicklow boy,
however, is another
case entirely. Then
again planning ahead
has never really been
a strongpoint. And I
don’t remember planning featuring much in
the selection process
of
my
compadre
either, one Almudena
Escobar Lopez. This character was a loud, proud
and only partially Anglophile Spaniard. We were
two of a kind in our antipathy for organisation and,
if we had to be put in boxes, you could say that
our favourite sections of the Lonely Planet were
‘Food’ and ‘Diseases, Dangers & Annoyances’
respectively. And we did have a Lonely Planet,
which must say at least something for our powers
of preparation.
Just like Mandarin though, a little context is
essential. Many and various are the reasons we
found ourselves walking the steep steps of the
meticulously cleaned and whitewashed gangway
of the Osaka to Shanghai ferry this hot, late June.
The main two reasons were the need to return
home from an Erasmus year spent in Tokyo and
a shared but rather unhealthy appetite for exploring the Oriental, the unknown and the exotic.
The location and sailing time of the ferry was
completely unknown to us. So unknown in fact
that we came uncomfortably close to missing it
outright, our twelve months studying precision
Japanese punctuality having come to naught. And
who would have guessed? One of the first people
we bumped into onboard was one of the last we
would have expected.
Sonically distorted by her goat shed of a rucksack, Roisin’s hefty accent was confusingly similar to those of the other mostly Chinese voices
around her. Once I’d
established she wasn’t
speaking a Mandarin
dialect but a Youghal one
however, I was delighted,
even more so on finding
out about her recent completion of exactly the route
through Russia, albeit in
the opposite direction,
which I had been planning
to take.
Our ship cast away. The
three of us plied each
other with cheap Chinese
beer and probing questions as we sailed serenely past the jagged limestone-islands of Shikoku
through the narrow Straits
of Shimonoseki, and beyond into a golden dusk
on the East China Sea.
It took three starry nights to reach our destination. We passed the time so successfully I have
little memory of them. On the morning of the
fourth day, we awoke on our bunks not to the
usual pitch and roll of the waves but to a considerately gentle announcement on the loudspeaker:
Shanghai!
Out on deck in the newly weighted morning air,
the passengers had already gathered to listen to
the lulling seagulls and passing cargo ships chorus our welcome. We were steaming up the
mouth of the Yellow river. On either bank, smoky
red brick warehouses crumbled into the water and
stretched away to the horizon where countless
Our ship cast away.
The three of us plied
each other with
cheap Chinese beer
and probing questions...We passed the
time so successfully I
have little memory of
them
“
chimneys belched their contents into the sky. And
everywhere, life!
Perhaps we were still more stunned after many
hours of the still and peaceful silence of the open
water, but the irresistible image of bustling activity that greeted us upon arrival in China will echo
within me for a long time. Then, as is usually the
case at such moments, there was little time for
reflection.
We were landed at one of these brick structures, our passports were quickly stamped, a taxi
was hailed in a flurry of words and arms and then
we were off, our noses literally stuck to the window, our irises
soaking up every
second of the
sights
like
sponges.
Now, from the
vantage point of
home, I dwell on
the experience. My
initial excitement
reminds me of how
Marco Polo wondered at what he
saw upon arrival in
Cathay. At the
time, that civilisation
dwarfed
Europe in terms of
commerce, trade,
art and population.
While I visited China, it never really left my mind
that this is something it has become fashionable
to say might soon happen again.
But we had more immediate concerns. It was
taking time to adjust. Not only did the constant
tropical humidity pose problems, the two of us
also had to contend with new foods, new currency, a new language and not least, Chinese etiquette: a whole new way of doing things. But that
is the lot of the backpacker, skimming and flicking
through cultures like the pages of a book to the
rhythm of a train timetable. And we were lucky.
We had our friend Yan to help us, a friend met
back in Waseda University, a proud guide and,
more importantly, a local.
He took us through the dusty streets of his
home. We careered from hostel to acrobatics
show to street side barbecue. As we did, we tried
to learn from the locals around us who consistently and miraculously failed to get hit by the choking, hurtling traffic, try as they might. We rested
under the grimacing shadows of Pudong and sat
countless babies on our knees for countless photos. We walked by the river where huge cargo
ships sail past, continuing to hoot deep into the
night. We got lost.
Then, out of nowhere, a girl appeared on a
scooter and not only took us to the ferry upriver,
but insisted on paying for all three of our tickets as
well as her own. There were
no tourists on it. The passengers were ordinary working
people, unable to afford the
quicker but dearer tunnel
crossing, let alone the fivedollar Budweisers at the riverfront cafes where we had just
been. They massed along the
side of the boat, backs to us,
tipping its weight and watching the neon lights of the
majestic old Bund colonial district spring onto the oil-slicked
water like fire.
A particularly obvious sight
in Shanghai, it was one we
would notice wherever we
went. Whether it was shown
to us by that night on the ferry,
or later, by the peasant I saw wheeling a cart past
a Ferrari or the co-existence of tin-roofed shanty
towns alongside towers of steel and glass, one
thing above all struck us about China; the inequality of the place is staggering. I should have known
it though.
A friend had warned me before I set out, the
common question of whether it’s a capitalist or
communist country is irrelevant because in it’s
current guise, it actually represents the most terrible aspects of both.
Then we were
off, our noses literally stuck to
the window, our
irises soaking up
every second of
the sights like
sponges
“
Derry continues his journey in the
next College Tribune
SCRUBS DAY
14 SCRUB’S DAY
4.10.05
T H E AT R E L
Alan Tully Rubs Cox up the right way
PHOTOS: JOHN WALSH
A REMARKABLE PUBLICATION: CLEARLY JOHN C. MCGINLEY HAS EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD TASTE
When John C. McGinley walks into a room,
you know the man has arrived. In a secret
location in the Arts Block a mini media convoy awaited the arrival of the actor.
Somehow he would reach the room without having to pass the five hundred students waiting for his entrance to Theatre L
later in the evening and the further thousand that waited outside in a vain attempt
to get in or even glimpse the cult legend.
As he struts down the corridor, the ladies of Lawsoc
whisper in unison “Ooh Dr. Cox is coming.” The whole
affair could be reminiscent of the Beatles landing in
the United States forty years ago, albeit without the
airport and the fine hairstyles.
The most surprising thing about McGinley is the
voice. It’s a deep booming American drawl, some distance away from the
nasal, eternally irritated
tone that has endeared
him as a cult hero to millions as his alter ego
Perry Cox on ‘Scrubs’.
The hit show made a
huge impression five
years ago when it hit the
screens along with a
wave of comedy shows
including
‘Arrested
Development’ and ‘Curb
Your Enthusiasm’, which
changed the face of the
US sitcom entirely.
A mix of clever writing
and McGinley’s impersonation of a man
doomed to a life of everlasting frustration has made Dr. Cox a household
name and one of the most popular TV characters of
his time.
“Well apart maybe from the Janitor,” quips the
actor, “he was voted America’s second favourite TV
persona last year.”
As one of the central characters of the ensemble
cast though, McGinley must feel Cox cannot be
replaced without the show ending, but how does he
feel his input into creating the character made the
world’s most sarcastic medic helped make him into a
cult figure?
“To be honest I thought it was right there on the
page. The writers literally had him down right from the
beginning,” John C. frankly admits, “Though they kept
making the speeches longer and longer. You know, if
its three pages of single space monologue and you
have to get it in your noodle and elevate it to the studio floor, it becomes a hell of a challenge. So I’ve got
to humanize the character and not just make him act
like a machine, and I guess that’s my input.”
Of course the world wants to know how similar the
actor is to his on screen persona. Thankfully for anyone interviewing him, McGinley was not about to bite
off heads, verbally abuse or otherwise call any male
by a girl’s name tonight.
“Cox is probably a hell of a lot smarter than I am,”
he concedes. “He’s epically unimpeachable and that’s
why he’s so hard on the kids in the show. I mean he’s
a great doctor and if you were in Sacred Heart you’d
want him and not one of the other bozos. He treats
them that way to make them better and at the same
time he’s at war with Kelso and the administration
who obviously cut corners when they can.”
Evidently he sees Dr. Cox as much of a challenge
as a joy to create and stresses that a lot of other people are involved in
bringing him to life.
Cox, as we all know,
suffers from just
about every kind of
stress that a modern
man bears while still
remaining
operational. The writers,
producers
and
McGinley get a lot
fun out of stretching
Perry in as many
directions as possible. He shows how
even co-star Zach
Braff has an unintended input into the
whole girl’s name
gag.
“Well when the writers give me these three and four
page rants, they’re never about driving the story forward. Most of the time they just want to see if
McGinley can do these verbal gymnastics.”
He continues,“In the first year the writers had it just
fine, but I guess after five years they don’t mind a little help. But they’re all barking anyway. Sacred Heart
is actually an abandoned hospital and we housed
them in the psychiatric ward!”
“But with the transitional humour, say when Cox
calls JD a girl’s name, I’ve got full involvement. It was
something my friends and me used to do all the time.
We’ve got a board in the production office that I add
names to all the time; I think we’ve used a hundred
without repeating them, well maybe once. Anyway
Since Cox is a bit of
a bastard, the way I
play him seems to fit.
I’ve been lucky
enough to be able to
play both sides, comedy and drama. For
me, it’s all a matter of
what’s on the page
“
Zach’s a bit feminine as you can tell.”
About getting the job as Cox back in 2001,
McGinley comments that, “It was very traditional really. They made me come in for auditions over and
over… I think about five times. The creator of the
show, a young guy called Bill Lawrence, who incidentally looks exactly like Matthew Perry, said they had
wanted me the whole time, so when I heard that I
guess I had my first Perry Cox moment by saying
‘Jeez why didn’t you just offer it to me?”
“But in TV there are a lot of chefs in the kitchen,
let’s see, there are the folks at NBC, and then at
Disney, then the producers so everyone gets a say
about casting. You’ve got to do the whole dog and
pony trick all the way down the line.”
But of course, the ‘Scrubs’ gig is only the latest in a
long line of works by the veteran actor. He began
studying to be an actor at New York University in a
graduate programme and after that got out and did
about a dozen Broadway plays, including the epic
‘Danny and the
Deep
Blue
Sea’. In Danny,
he was understudy to John
Turturro, but
graced
the
stage
when
Turturro was
called away to
filming.
Then a soap
opera called
‘Another World’
followed. He
got bit parts in
a couple of
movies before
Oliver Stone
asked him on board ‘Platoon’ as ‘Sgt. O’Neill’ in 1986.
Originally he was given a far smaller role, but when
the original O’Neill, actor John Spencer, dropped out,
McGinley got the spot.
Since that momentous piece he has been heavily
involved in the big screen and has done over fifty
films, and produced five others. In 1990 he moved out
to Malibu and continued in film until Scrubs came
along in 2001 decided his fate.
His career cannot be looked at without mentioning
the massive influence of Oliver Stone. McGinley has
worked with the legendary director a number of times
on films such as ‘Wall Street’ and ‘Any Given Sunday’.
Describing his relationship with Stone, he said,
“Well, Oliver Stone used to put a lot of slack on the
leash for different roles I played with him over the
Dean Caine from
Superman kicked my
ass, but I got my
money. It was fifteen
grand so I loved it.
It’s the only skeleton
in my closet, and I
know your just trying
to take the piss now!
“
4.10.05
SCRUB’S DAY 15
LOVES COX
years. While I wasn’t necessarily the funny guy
in Wall Street or Platoon, he always let me
approach it in finding the humanity in the characters, I mean those characters were not really
nice guys. A lot of times though I was allowed to
introduce aspects of humour into them.”
So does he now see himself as a comedic
actor or does he feel drama is his true calling?
“I don’t see myself as a comedic actor per se,
but I like to plunge into each role the way I feel I
should, and since Cox is a bit of a bastard, the
way I play him seems to fit. I’ve been lucky
enough to be able to play both sides, comedy
and drama. For me, it’s all a matter of what’s on
the page.”
There is a serious side to McGinley’s study
and development of Dr. Cox. He has a son, Max,
born with Down’s Syndrome eight years ago
who spent five or six weeks in the neo-natal
intensive care, and so he became familiar with
care workers, nurses and doctors that he claims
treated his son like their own. The producers of
the show wanted to know if he would hang out in
hospitals to do some homework for the show,
but that time in the intensive care unit with his
son was all the time he needed.
The condition of his son obviously took a long
time for McGinley to get his head around, and it
ultimately informed his decision to follow many
other film actors like Charlie Sheen and Rob
Lowe into TV careers.
So afterwards I
went up to his office
and said, ‘Ben that
was bizarre Christa
totally macked on
me.’ He just looked
back and smiled
and said ‘yeah what
did you think?”
“
“For me it was a blessing because when you
go to a film you have to relocate somewhere,” he
states in a reflective mood. “When my son was
born I didn’t want to have to do all that two and
three times a year. So shooting a show in LA for
an extended period suits me to be with Max.
Being on location means you’re gone and you
have to put blindfolds on. You miss opportunities
and experiences that I didn’t want to miss out on
with my son.”
But plenty about his life has the comical
assets which we see every week in ‘Scrubs’. For
instance, did you know that John C. McGinley
was runner-up on the 1997 edition of Celebrity
American Gladiators?
His half-hearted excuse to this day is, “Well
they rang me up and basically offered me
$25,000 if I entered and won, and $15,000 if I
came second. I was broke at the time, so I said
’bring it on.’ I came in second, Dean Caine from
Superman kicked my ass, but I got my money. It
was fifteen grand so I loved it. It’s the only skeleton in my closet, and I know your just trying to
DOCTORS AND NURSES
take the piss now!”
And ‘Scrubs’ has given him more than a few
went for it. I was a bit taken aback, especially
close encounters with the opposite sex. Dr. Cox,
with Ben looking on. So afterwards I went up
being the hospital’s middle-aged head resident
to his office and said, ‘Ben that was bizarre
with a divorced wife who he still sleeps with gave
Christa totally macked on me.’ He just looked
plenty of storylines which McGinley followed with
back and smiled and said ‘yeah what did you
gusto.
think?”
On the onscreen affair with guest star Heather
About an hour later this journalist was seatGraham he grinned and said, “Well what can I
ed in the middle of theatre L with the rest of the
say? When I heard she was on and read that Cox
great unwashed watching the finale of an
was going to be having an affair, I just thought,
interesting, hilarious and at times pretty dishell yeah. When we macked, man did we mack…
turbed Lawsoc debate.
or at least I did!”
But the laughter and cheering was never
Pulling women in front of the camera with a
going to match what followed as John C.
whole cast watching can be awkward at the best
McGinley, official legend, entered the arena.
of times, but when the love interest’s husband is
With five hundred souls packed into the theyour producer and series creator, things can end
atre and a thousand more trying to push in
with interesting results.
(queues were going back into the library build“Yeah that was weird, mostly because Ben
ing I’m reliably told), UCD has never given a
(Lawrence) is a nut. When we had to go for it the
greater to response to one person saying “Hi.
first time, Christa (Jordon in ‘Scrubs’) properly
16 FASHION
4.10.05
BAG IT
DISTRACTIONS
MEET THE METROSEXUAL
Rachel Gilmore Murphy writes on the emerging breed of male who
takes pride in his appearance and as a result is a pleasure on the eye
VICTORIAN
BLOUSES
With Victoriana style set to
continue this season, lacy
Victorian blouses are a
good way of investing in a
little bit of history. Available
in white, black and
cream, high street stores
such as urban Outfitters, Oasis, and
Penney’s are selling stylish variations of
this season’s prettiest look, romantic
Victorian inspired blouses.
JEWELLED CUFFS
Pretty costume jeweller y is the
best way to accessorize and
update any outfit. Wrist cuffs add
an element of rock chic to a look.
Last year ’s cuff has been combined with sparkly jewels to make
it this year ’s must have accessor y.
JENNIFER ANISTON
Having bounced back from her very
public break up with Brad Pitt, the former Friends actress announced to
Oprah on her first television appearance since the split that she is now
ready to date again. Well done to Jen
for moving on so gracefully.
DECK SHOES
Dubes, Dubarry’s, Decks call ‘em what
you want, but girls, don’t wear them to
college. These shoes aren’t meant to
be worn with O Neill’s tracksuit bottoms.
SUMMER WARDROBES.
The first few weeks back to college are
notoriously known as one big fashion
extravaganza. Despite the fact that
summer is well and truly over, the
‘trendy’ girls of UCD still insist on parading around campus in their skimpiest
summer outfits. Dress for the appropriate season!
Meet the metrosexual man, he’s well
dressed and groomed to perfection.
This specimen of the opposite gender is
not gay, just particularly astute and confident in his own highly primed and
preened skin.
In 1994 British journalist Mark Simpson coined
the term metrosexual to refer to an urban male, of
any sexual orientation, with a strong aesthetic
sense who spends a great deal of time and
money on his appearance and lifestyle.
Originally the term had negative connotations
as it was first used to describe self-indulgent and
narcissistic men who were only interested in their
personal vanity.
However nowadays metrosexuality is more
positive than ever, referring to a caring, nurturing
character.
Mark Wahlberg’s semi-naked appearance for
Calvin Klein underwear in the early 1990’s is cited
as the beginnings of mainstream male vanity. The
ad in question was aimed at a gay market but
straight men took notice.
However, it is the polished to perfection body of
David Beckham that most people see as the epitome of metrosexuality. Academics’ have credited
Mr. Beckham with a shift in male behaviour
towards this particular subject. In an interview
with ‘Attitude’, the gay magazine, Becks admitted
that he liked to be admired by both men and
women. Beckham has also been credited with the
growing popularity of fashion conscious men’s
magazines.
Beckham is almost as famous for wearing
sarongs, pink nail polish and sporting a new hair
cut every week as he is for his impressive ball
skills.
It is easy to pinpoint how these trends evolve
but it is more difficult to say where these trends
came from.
There are many different theories regarding the
birthplace of this phenomenon. Firstly, it can be
attributed to female power in the work place, suggesting that men turn to methods such as power
dressing and beauty treatments to assert themselves.
THE TOP 5
Secondly, with the growing popularity of plastic
surgery, women are looking younger for longer,
placing an added pressure on men and forcing
them to turn to alternative beauty methods for the
same effect.
There are many theories behind this growing
trend, however, its’ growing prevalence is
increasingly clear. The growth in men’s fashion
chains and men’s magazines increases their coverage of fashion. Men’s mag, FHM says that it’s
fashion and grooming advertising has increased
by 35% over the past three years.
Beckham is almost as
famous for wearing
sarongs, pink nail polish and sporting a
new hair cut every
week as he is for his
impressive ball skills
more emphasis is placed on the people driving
the cars and the experience they feel while doing
so, rather than the car specification. Perhaps the
definition of what it is to be a man is changing.
For sometime now, old fashioned, repressed
heterosexuality has been given the pink slip by
consumer capitalism. But is it for the better?
For the male gender in
question and for the
benefit of their female
significant others, a bit
of grooming never hurt
anyone. The modern
heterosexual man is
caring, nurturing and
open-minded while
taking the time and
money to keep themselves looking pristine.
Where’s the
harm in that?
It is not just the money spent on these beauty
products and clothes, but the time and effort that
go into it. Men’s cosmetics and toiletries are the
fastest growing area of the huge beauty and
skincare industry.
Clinique first launched a men’s skincare
range almost twenty years ago. Their clever
marketing team came up with a technique for
packaging the range, using masculine colours
such as greys’, dark green and navy and renaming some of their staple products, for
example; ‘Gentle Exfoliator’ is a man’s
‘Face Scrub’.
Once again the enormous success of
men’s magazines have helped men’s
beauty products seem ‘cool’. There is no
danger feeling like a girl reading about
exfoliating lotion if it is part of an article
about formula one.
Even the tough, macho image is gone
from car advertising. For example, much
MALE PRODUCTS
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Poor Kate, another successful woman dragged to
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WITH
HEALTH 17
4.10.05
CAITRÍONA GAFFNEY & RICHELLE DELANY EXPLAIN HOW TO DO A
SELF BREAST-EXAM
Living in Ireland you have a 1 in 12
chance of developing breast cancer.
Nothing is guaranteed in life. Breast
cancer is an example of an issue that
many people believe they will escape,
as Kylie Minogue found out for herself
last May when she was diagnosed with
breast cancer.
Regular breast self-examinations are the best
way to find a cancerous tumor. The best time to
detect a tumor is when it is still small, before the
cancer has had a chance to spread. This is when
it is most likely to be cured.
It is a myth that breast cancer does not affect
young women, and so it is important to check
yourself at the same time every month, 2 to 3
days after your period. This is when your breasts
are least likely to be swollen and tender.
It is important to be breast aware. This means
more than just looking for nipple and skin
changes as well as changes in the size and shape
of the breast.
The more you examine your breasts’ the easier
it will be to tell if something unusual has occurred.
There are specific risk factors that women have
control over and all women, in particular postmenopausal women, should make certain
amendments to their lifestyle so as to reduce the
risk of developing breast cancer.
Taking charge of the
risk factors that you
have control over can
save your life. This
includes monthly selfexams; regular visits to
the doctor, and regularly scheduled mammograms.
“
There are risk factors that women have no
obvious control over, such as getting older. Other
risk factors include having an early menstruation
or late menopause, not having children or having
the first child after the age of 30.
Having a family history of breast cancer is also
another risk factor. Other life style risk factors
include obesity in post-menopausal women, lack
of physical activity and alcohol consumption.
Experts are beginning to understand the factors
involved in how diet affects the risks of breast
cancer. Maintaining a healthy weight is important.
It is important to eat healthily. This will not only
help keep weight under control, but may also
directly reduce the risk of breast cancer.
Taking charge of the risk factors that you have
control over can save your life. This includes
monthly self-exams; regular visits to the doctor,
and regularly scheduled mammograms.
Eight out of ten lumps are benign (not cancerous). If you discover a persistent lump in your
breast or any changes in breast tissue it is important to see a doctor immediately.
Don’t worry that you are wasting your doctors
time, if you are concerned about any changes ask
your doctor to explain the change. Make sure you
are happy with the explanation if not get a second
opinion.
Other changes to be aware of include swelling
in your armpit or around your collar-bone, constant pain in one part of your breast or armpit.
Quite often fear keeps people away from
aggressive health care, they stay away from medical care because they are afraid of what they
might find.
Below is a step-by-step guide to a personal breast
check.
STEP 1
Stand facing a mirror with your arms at your
sides. Look for anything unusual on your breasts:
dimples, scaly patches, puckers, or discharge
coming from a nipple.
STEP 2
Check for changes in the contours of your
breasts. Watch in the mirror as you lift your hands
behind your head, clasp your hands, and press
them against the back of your head.
STEP 3
Check again with your hands on your hips and
your elbows pulled forward.
STEP 4
Squeeze your nipples gently to check for discharge.
STEP 5
With one arm raised, use the fingertips of your
other hand to feel your breast for any lumps
under the skin.
Start in your armpit and move toward your
breast, pressing in small areas about the size of
a euro coin. (Try this in the shower; your fingers
will slide more easily over soapy skin.)
Use a consistent pattern—a spiral, line, or
wedge (see below).
Cover the entire breast, as well as the upper
chest and underarm. Repeat on other side.
• Spiral: Start at the outer edges of the breast
and slowly work your way around it in smaller and
smaller circles.
• Line: Start under your arm and slowly stroke
up and down, progressing across the breast.
• Wedge: Start at the outer edge of the breast
and move slowly toward the middle, then back to
the edge.
REPEAT STEP 5
lying on your back with one arm over your
head and a pillow under your shoulder. Use one
of the patterns above to check each breast.
If you do find a lump, unusual firmness, a
change in shape, or any discharge from a nipple,
call your doctor.
It is also extremely important to remember
that, while self-examinations means most lumps
are found by women themselves; a breast exam
by your GP may find abnormalities that only
someone with experience could recognize.
A self-breast examination is NOT a substitute
for an exam carried out by a doctor.
Studies show that regular breast exams, along
with an annual exam by a doctor improve the
chances of detecting cancer early.
Breast Cancer Kills Men Too
Though it is much less heard of,
men can also be affected by breast
cancer. Approximately 16 men SELF BREAST EXAM: DOCTORS ADVISE DOING THIS
develop breast cancer in Ireland
every year, whereas in the UK up to
presenting feature of male breast cancer, it may
250 men are diagnosed with breast cancer annurepresent an underlying malignancy
ally.
Risk factors for breast cancer in men may
Breast cancer in men can be diagnosed at any
include the following:
age, but it is usually
• Exposure to radiadetected between the
tion
ages of 60 and 70.
• Having a disease
It is a condition that
related to high levels
most men are too embarof estrogen in the
rassed to talk about if they
body such as liver diseven know it exists.
ease, or Klinefleter’s
It is just as important for
syndrome, which is a
men, and especially those
genetic disorder.
who have a history of
• A history of breast
breast cancer in their famcancer among the
ily to perform their own
female population of
breast examination.
your family.
If a man does notice a
Survival for men
lump or bump, or anything
with breast cancer is
unusual about his breasts
similar to survival for
he is less likely to have it
women with breast
checked out due to the
cancer.
lack of awareness surSurvival for men
rounding male breast cancer, and therefore is
with breast cancer is similar to that for women
unlikely to assume that it may be breast cancer.
with breast cancer when their stage of diagnosis
Male breast cancer usually presents itself as a
is the same. Breast cancer in men, however, is
firm painless mass in the subareolar region of the
often diagnosed at a later stage. Cancer found at
breast. The second most common presentation is
a later stage may be less likely to be cured.
a mass in the upper outer breast quadrant.
Certain factors affect prognosis (chance of
Other early findings may include inverted niprecovery) and treatment options.
ples, skin dimpling or puckering; redness or scalThe chances of recovery and treatment options
ing of the nipple or breast; and abnormal swelling
depend on the following:
or lumps in the breast, nipple, or chest muscle.
• The stage of the cancer (whether it is in the
Although nipple discharge is not a common
breast only or has spread to other places in the
Approximately 16
men develop breast
cancer in Ireland
every year, whereas in the UK up to
250 men are diagnosed with breast
cancer annually
“
ONCE A MONTH
body).
• The type of breast cancer.
• Certain characteristics of the cancer cells.
• Whether the cancer is found in the other
breast.
• The patient’s age and general health.
While breast cancer in men is extremely rare,
according to the American Cancer Society about
1200 men are affected each year. This figure is
steadily growing.
October is breast cancer awareness month.
The pink ribbon is the international symbol for
breast cancer; it has become a symbol of hope for
a cure of breast cancer and a reminder that breast
cancer does not have to be fatal. Pink wristbands
and pink scarves will be on sale during October.
Celebrities are generous with endorsing and
promoting breast cancer awareness. Bon Jovi
support breast cancer awareness.
Last May supermodel, Elle MacPherson came
to Dublin to raise money to launch Fashion
Targets Breast Cancer (FTBC).
FTBC is the international fashion industry's
response to breast cancer and was originally pioneered by Ralph Lauren in the USA in 1994.
The campaign centers on the sale of a range of
designer t-shirts. In Ireland, these will be available
through Brown Thomas in Dublin, Cork, Limerick
and Galway, BT2 in Dublin and selected a-wear
stores.
18 DISTRACTIONS
4.10.05
FILM
HOBBIT MEETS HOOLIGAN
Elijah Wood goes from hobbit to
football hooligan in this, the latest
look at the ugly side of the Beautiful
Game.
STAR WARS
MEETS
INDIANA JONES
Serenity is a tongue in cheek tale. It follows the
adventures of a group of space bandits as they are
chased around the cosmos by a cacophony of child
murderers, child eaters, and all round bad guys.
The story takes place five hundred years in the future, in a collection of other galaxies, to which we earthlings have escaped because
our planet could no longer support our exploding population.
These far, far away galaxies are for the most part ruled by an evil
federation (starting to sound a little familiar?). The story is centred
around, a young doctor who has to rescue his telepathic teenage
sister River. She is in danger as the evil federation attempt to
destroy her mind and turn her into a fierce weapon to tighten their
grip over their enslaved subjects.
These two fugitives come under the protection of the crew of
Serenity, a bunch of mercenaries, captained by Mal, a veteran from
the failed war against the federation.
Problems ensue as River has some of the federation’s darkest
secrets locked away in the depths of her subconscious, secrets they
are intent on retrieving.
We follow this decrepit ship and it’s crew around outer space. As
do the federation’s philosophical and determined ninja henchman,
not to mention the occasional run in with an army of gimp like creatures known as `Reavers’.
Serenity is the creation of Joss Whedon, the Oscar nominated cowriter of `Toy-Story’, and the creator of the TV series `Buffy the
Vampire Slayer’ and `Angel’.
The script is based on another of Whedon’s TV series `Firefly’
which, although a critical and financial disaster has created a cult
following. This is an eagerly awaited movie, for some at least.
Location differences aside, Serenity is reminiscent of Whedon’s
earlier works. It is full of a sharp sardonic sense of humour despite
the somewhat sticky situation’s the protagonist’s seem to find themselves in.
This juxtaposition gives the comedy element of the movie a certain edge, which should provide even engineering students with
plenty of laughs.
Between decomposing bodies and big bangs, Serenity also has
its’ fair share of scares’, enough to keep the average student at
least in the vicinity of their’ seat’s edge.
Scary little girls freak me the hell out, and let’s just say our telepathic teenager, River, wouldn’t exactly slot nicely into the Brady
Bunch. It’s no horror movie, but the faint of heart should have their
blinkers ready.
The cast is largely the same as that of the series from which the
film spawned. Also, the acting can be a little less than spectacular
at times.
Serenity doesn’t intend for the audience to take it that seriously,
so the actor’s performances aren’t required to be as clinical as in
other film genres.
In any event there are some good performances especially that
of Adam Baldwin as Jayne. His character is supposedly a hardhearted mercenary but transpires to be the source of a lot of the
story’s humour.
The fact that the cast has some history (the TV series ran for a
year) also gives the characters a certain depth which comes
through well on screen.
Another element which can be added to Serenity’s list of credits
is some very impressive action scenes. The film was shot on a relatively small budget, something which certainly doesn’t come
through in the movies’ special effects.
There are also some impressive fight scenes to keep the lads
happy. Look out for River kicking some serious Reaver gimp ass.
Don’t be deceived by any mistaken preconceptions, this film will
appeal to a wide audience. It’s not a classic adventure film, classic
thriller or comedy, but a competent mix of all three makes Serenity
damn good fun.
BARRA FENNELL
SERENITY
7/10
Journalism student Matt Buckner (Wood)
is expelled from Harvard for some ethical
violation, which he did not commit. He
decides to leave America and venture to
England, to his sister Shannon (Claire
Forlani) and her Husband Steve (Marc
Warren).
He befriends Steve's brother Pete (played
by the excellent Charlie Hunnam) who is an
avid West Ham supporter, and gets entangled in his gang or 'firm' called the GSEGreen Street Elite.
This West Ham firm is one of the biggest
firms in England, second only to the Millwall
firm. The film then proceeds to show the
ugly, violent, brawls in which the firms
engage.
Green Street is very reminiscent of 1989’s
ID, in which an under cover Police Officer
infiltrates the Millwall firm. He enjoys the
rush of gang life so much that eventually he
leaves the police for a life of hooliganism.
The rush he enjoyed so much is clearly
the same sort of experience Buckner is relishing. For the first time in his life Buckner
feels like he is living. He thrives off the violence he receives and dispenses.
As a whole, the film is very entertaining
and produces great performances from
Forlani, Warren and Hunnam. However, it
seems that the lead role, Elijah Wood was
miscast. Wood is possibly one of the least
convincing hard men ever seen in a film.
The unbelievably quick transformation
from Harvard student to street thug is highly
implausible. Even after he transforms into a
thug, he still resembles a choirboy, unlike
the rest of the members of the GSE, who are
rough as badgers’ arses.
Another flaw in the film is the violence. It
is over the top and extreme to say the least.
At one point you see a man getting his throat
split open very graphically by a broken bottle.
Green Street paints a very bleak picture
for English football.
The denouement of the film is particularly
disappointing also. Unduly neat, padded
and secure for such a turbulent film.
Despite these negative points the film had
a lot of positive aspects. It focussed heavily
on the themes of friendship, loyalty and
betrayal and does so in a very realistic
manner.
The loyalty of many of the characters
is tested throughout the film and each
of them reacts very differently.
One of the members of the GSE,
Bovver, who takes an instant dislike to
"the yank", is constantly challenged to
give in to the temptation of betrayal. The
firm’s leader Pete constantly shows his
loyalty towards Buckner and Bovver.
Redemption is also a particularly important aspect of this film. Buckner flees to
England in order to find himself,
to seek redemption. He
believes he finds it in the violent world of football
hooliganism.
Overall, this is a
quality film. It is
well cast (Frodo
Baggins aside)
and contains
some great
performances.
The
members of
the GSE all
look the
part and
fit right
into the
world
of football hooliganism.
Although it is sometimes over the top,
Green Street is still fairly realistic, as some
of the scenes were actually filmed on location. Upton Park, West Hams’ stadium was
used in the filming.
As well as some adept cinematography
the soundtrack (featuring Kasabian) fits the
film aptly. A good fight movie, albeit from a
tiring genre, that spotlights a culture many of
us felt was extinct.
ANDREW CARLOS
GREEN STREET
7/10
BLOOD GUTS AND EPIC STORY TELLING
Director George A. Romero, the
pioneer of the zombie movie
genre, produces an offering not
quite up to the high standard he
has set himself.
Land Of The Dead is the latest in the line
of his unique brand of zombie horror which
includes the movies, Night of the Living
Dead, Dawn of the Dead, and the third in
the trilogy, Day of the Dead.
The basic plot is essentially the same as
his previous zombie flicks. A group of
humans have to fight off impending doom
from the living dead otherwise known as
zombies.
A different approach is taken this time
however, Romero flirts with the idea that
zombies are evolving and becoming more
intelligent. This of course can only make
the human’s quest for total zombie
destruction increasingly difficult.
The film centres around main characters
Riley (Simon Baker) and Cholo (John
Leguizamo) who at the beginning of the
movie are part of a squad responsible for
killing zombies.
Basically, they cruise around the city in
purpose built zombie killing vehicles with
their zombie killing weapons of choice, the
ever-faithful automatic machine gun.
However, it’s not quite that simple and
just like in real life there are evil people out
there who hope to prosper by exploiting
others who are scared and in danger.
In the movie this character comes in the
form of Kaufman (Denis Hopper) who
keeps the rich inside a seemingly secure
zombie free zone while the poor outside
are extremely vulnerable to zombie
attacks.
All does not go to plan for Kaufman.
Riley and Cholo separately have their own
plans for the city, which leads to the hijacking of an armoured vehicle known as
‘Dead Reckoning’. This puts the city in
danger and not just from the threat of the
ever-approaching zombies.
This leads to plenty of killing, destruction
and more blood, guts, flesh feasting and all
round gore than you can shake a discombobulated limb at.
Credit must be given to the special
effects personnel and make-up artists who
worked on this movie as certain scenes will
probably make even the most iron stomached viewer nauseous in places.
The movie script and acting isn’t bad
and the odd witty line is delivered here and
there, although this movie is far closer to
Dawn of the Dead than Shawn of the
Dead.
The film clocks in at about an hour and a
half, which is good as it keeps the pace
fairly fast and prevents it from getting boring.
Overall, if you’re into this sort of thing
then check it out although you’ll probably
find it’s not quite up there with Dawn of the
Dead. On the other hand if you’re not into
this sort of thing or if you’re looking for a
movie to bring a date on then it’s probably
not for you.
CHRIS KIRK
LAND OF THE DEAD
6/10
MUSIC 19
4.10.05
THE TABLES HAVE
TURNED
It has been an equally turbulent and triumphant two years for veteran band Turn.
After watching their fan base grow spectacularly following the release of the well received
and critically acclaimed “Forward”, they must
have thought the years of constant touring
and hard work were starting to pay off.
The loss of their co-founder, co-songwriter and best
friend Gavin Fox to Scottish band Idlewild must have put
all the hype and success in perspective. Turn reacted by
rising above it all, playing an incendiary New Years Eve
gig in Whelans’ and two equally impressive performances at the following Oxegen festivals.
Tonight a packed Village venue testifies to how highly
anticipated the new album really is. I caught up with front
man Ollie Cole to talk about writing, being from Kells and
why being yourself is the new tweed jacket when it
comes to making other people think you’re cool.
When asked about growing up in Kells, he describes a
totally organic and highly beneficial development in taste.
He relates it to a reliance on other people’s records and
musically like-minded friends as opposed to being
involved in flavour of the month “cool” scenes.
“Down in Kells, we didn’t really have anything except
our older brothers records. It was amazing when me and
Ian first moved to Dublin and we were listening to Neil
Young and stuff like that. People thought we were really
cool, because we were different…we were into music
and good musicians and everyone was like, ‘wow, Neil
Young, that’s cool, aw I love your accents!
“We were playing this really old fashioned music when
everyone else was playing keyboards with all these
human league type haircuts, and we’re like these old
fogey’s playing acoustic guitars and smoking joints and
stuff…I think we fell into the trap of trying to be cool for a
few years as well but then you come back to your roots
and figure out who you are, and who you like. Then you
go, why am I playing that? I don’t even like that music!”
I had seen Gavin Fox come on stage with Turn after
he had left for Idlewild, at the le Cheile festival two years
ago and thought this would be the best possible way to
bring up a possibly uneasy subject for Ollie to talk about,
but I found him more than happy to talk about the exbassist that’s still his best friend.
“Myself and Gavin have been best friends for a long
time, we’re still best friends. I was talking to him last
night and he’s over in Chicago touring with Idlewild at
the moment but there’s never really been any beef there.
In the beginning when he first decided to go everyone
said ‘are you mad?’ But everyone kind of calmed down
after a while. And you never know, life is very long, I’d
say there will be a time Gavin will play with us at some
stage.”
After pushing the envelope totally with “Forward”,
Ollie describes the new release as a more direct pop
rock album. I asked Ollie what changes, if any, Turn fans
could expect on the third release.
“When I listen to it again, it wasn’t a conscious thing,
but I get the feeling of worrying about the wasting of
time…that pops up in lyrics a lot. Like about times when
if I made mistakes is that not ok? There are a few areas
of looking for forgiveness. There aren’t really any relationship songs, in terms of girlfriend boyfriend type,
because I’m really happy in that area.
“If anything there’s one song called ‘It’s About
Nothing’. It’s about my girlfriend and it’s a strange kind
of affectionate song, its just about chilling out. Then
there’s a song called ‘Close Your Eyes’, my girlfriend
lives in America, its about her missing home and being
homesick and its asking her just to close her eyes and
just see, and feel what she feels and that sort of stuff.”
“A couple of other songs are about tensions I’ve had
with another bloke friend of mine.”
“Songs are weird in that I don’t really think about them
I just sit down and play the guitar and sometimes it surprises me in that I go wow I didn’t even know I felt like
that but I must because that’s what’s coming out.”
STEPHEN CAFFREY
OLLIE COLE: TURN’S SELF TITLED NEW ALBUM IS OUT NOW
CBGBS:
IT TOLLS FOR THEE
Nicky Hynes visited
the renowned New
York nightclub CBGBs
and reports on an
anthemic venue living
on borrowed time
CBGBs, the legendary New York rock
club is on its last legs but stands defiant. The venue, set in Manhattans
trendy yet raw East Village, has been
a New York and worldwide musical
institution for 31 years.
However, poor relations with its landlord, The
Bowery Residents Committee (BRC), a charity
that helps house the homeless, recently culminated in a hike in already high rent prices to around
45 thousand dollars a month and a claim that the
club had not paid some of its rent for years.
A judge last month ruled against the back rent
claim and artists have said they will cover the
extra hike in prices but the BRC now refuses to
sign a new lease. With the current lease having
expired on the first of September it seems the
death knell has sounded for CBGBs.
I was lucky enough to have been in New York
over the summer and to have had the chance to
pay homage to the birthplace of East Coast punk.
Most of the bands I was enraptured with during
my punk (-ish) years had played there, Bad
Brains, Minor Threat etc…
Many other bands that have virtually no sem-
blance of punk started out here too:
Blondie,
Beastie
Boys, The Police
being just a few.
CBGBs is, in the
words of its founder,
76 year old Hilly
Kristal, a place
where bands can
come in off the
street and be given
a chance and where
people can see
them for an affordable price.
Although the process can be hit and miss, thousands of careers have been launched here and
genres have flourished, notably New Wave.
Making my way there, half a block from
CBGBs, I found myself walking along Joey
Ramone Place, a token of acknowledgment by
the city of New York to one of the finest musicians
who started out there.
From the outside, CBGBs is modest. On the
inside it makes modest seem boastful.
Small, dark, a wallpaper of thousands of band
and anti-establishment stickers, hardcore
mohawked punks, overflowing toilets with no
cubicles; you would imagine it to be a pretty rough
place.
Despite the scenery, the venue is positively
alive with an optimistic, inclusive atmosphere.
The gig that night was part of the Save CBGBs
Festival, which ran for the entire month of August
into September; an almost nightly string of benefit gigs to generate money and public awareness.
One of the bands for the night presented an all too
appropriate name considering the current situa-
tion.
Disaster
Strikes
emerged
onstage to a roar from the crowd.
Their lead singer took the mic and proclaimed that
he and the band were doing the show to prevent
what he saw as a step towards the gentrification
of the Lower East Side.
This is perhaps a little awry of the truth considering the BRC will probably use the space to help
house the homeless. After this they kicked
straight into a hardcore punk set, their sound
clearly influenced by the likes of Black Flag and
Minor Threat, bands that would have played on
the exact same stage over 20 years ago.
The gig ended late and I left CBs and walked
out into the warm New York night with the uneasy
feeling that I had possibly witnessed it take one of
its last breaths.
Nevertheless hope still remains. One major
last-ditch effort to save the landmark club: a benefit gig that took place in Washington Square Park
in Manhattan in September included Bands such
as Blondie, The Ramones, Talking Heads (who
also started out in CBs), Bouncing Souls and
Public Enemy.
With the current lease having expired and a
renewal not in sight; Kristal, in defiance of the
inevitable eviction, proclaimed at the rally ‘We
intend to stay.’
Although the concert/ rally was a success it did
not change the BRCs attitude and on September
11th they issued an official eviction notice to
Kristal, which he has plainly stated he will not
obey.
This brawl between landlord and tenant has
now dragged in Mayor Michael Bloomberg to offer
mediation. He recently called the club ‘a great
New York City institution’ and went on to say that
although the club belongs at its current address, if
the City failed to bring the two sides together they
would find an alternative venue.
Mayor Bloomberg said the club is ‘part of our
culture’, lets hope for the sake of underground
rock and tomorrows’ major artists that CBGBs
does not become part of our history.
20 MUSIC
4.10.05
AURAL EXAMINATIONS
FRANZ FERDINAND
YOU COULD HAVE IT
SO MUCH BETTER
TRACY & THE PLASTICS
CULTURE FOR PIGEON
SIGUR ROS
HIM
TAKK
DARK LIGHT
With the world thrown at their feet following their
debut, one imagines that Franz Ferdinand were
under pressure to make sure their second release
justified the attention. Thankfully, they have not let
us down.
While it is true that there is nothing here to match
the instant likeability of Take Me Out, this record
responds well to extended listening, and should
easily satisfy anxious fans. Everything has survived intact: the edgy dance-floor sensibilities,
that thrilling sense of poise between reserve and
vulgarity, those moments of dark, melancholy elegance between choruses, and the witty, sexually
ambiguous observations in Kopranos’ lyrics.
‘Single Do You Want To’ falls flat next to ‘What
You Meant’ and ‘I’m Your Villain’, where the formula introduced on the debut in songs like ‘This
Fire’ reaches its full potential. There are also
some interesting deviations from the classic FF
formula: ‘Eleanor Put Your Boots On’ dispenses
with amps in favour of a touching, piano-accompanied Lennon pastiche.
At the close of the album, ‘Outsiders’ darkens the
mood, the bass arrangements echoing Interpol,
the lyrics hinting at the core of existential angst
behind the party-till-you-drop ethos of night-culture. If the first album left you cold, this record
might prompt you to revise your opinion.
A strong offering.
The ‘group’ Tracy and the Plastics comprises of
Wynne Greenwood a lesbian, feminist, video
artist also known as Tracy, and her two alter-egos
(the Plastics). Interesting.
Greenwood’s approach to music is minimalist;
she only uses two instruments, but this is in no
way a bad thing. The drums are simple and in
reality provide no more than a basic structure for
the keyboard’s melody, which is uncomplicated
and repetitive. The remarkable thing is that
despite this sparse instrumentation some excellent music is produced.
The real strengths in Greenwood’s music are
her lyrics and her voice. The lyrics are as bare
and direct as the music but they get her point
across beautifully. This said, at times she does go
over board with abstract imagery. She also tends
to talk solely from not only a feminine, but also a
feminist viewpoint.
Her voice is the most effective instrument in
use on this recording. It is sweet and soft but it
has a harsh edged punk influence that is at times
very apparent on the album. This variation in her
vocals accentuates each facet of the album’s varied mood.
Being a pretty daring musical experiment and
having some decent songs on it, this record is a
good buy.
Buy if you like: Lali Puna, P.J Harvey.
Sigur Ros, formed in 1994 have successfully
released three outstanding albums. The Icelandic
band gained much media attention after the success of Agztis Byrjun in 2000. Follow-up Brackets
found less favour with critics because of it’s darker edge. Now with the release of Takk, they have
returned to their atmospheric, epic sound.
Considering the amount of instruments they
use, only keyboards, guitar, drums and bass, they
manage to achieve a full, rich sound. Added to
this the choir boy/operatic genius of Jonsi
Birgisson’s voice makes their music not only
enchanting, but almost inspiring.
Standout tracks such as ‘Se Lest’, and ‘Milano’,
have orchestral arrangements that could stir even
the hardest of hearts. Matched with soothing xylophone lullaby melodies this album is irresistible.
At times Sigur Ros seem to get it just perfect.
Their true excellence is demonstrated by pushing the songs up a level with some fantastic brass
marching arrangements. Pounding drums enforce
the intensity of the build-ups even more.
Sigur Ros are a band that produce a fragile,
beautiful sound lavished with moving melodies to
make a unique pop rock wall of sound. Their
songs effortlessly melt into one in another, creating an album with depth and tenderness. Leaving
the listener revelling over this spectacular album
that redefines beauty in music.
Categorising their music as “love metal” with their
last album, HIM burst back onto to the scene with
the not so eagerly awaited ‘Dark Light’.
Kick starting with opener ‘Vampire heart’, first
time listeners might believe that lead singer Valo
has actually got his act together and delivered
some killer tunes. However, amidst the well
recorded instrumentation and catchy riffs we learn
this is not the case.
Sifting through the album, lyrical content is the
first criticism that springs to mind. Dark, gothic
and clichéd lyrics combined with a Michael Bolton
type rhythm simply doesn’t mix!
Furthermore, for a metal band of their description,
lead guitarist Linde fails to provide anything more
than lullaby riffs. Where are the Page, Young,
Slash type guitar solos that we associate with a
band of their nature?
However, HIM do grant us with some short snappy songs; with special note to ‘Behind the
Crimson Door’ and ‘Drunken Shadows’, which
give rise to amicable background music. Sadly,
that’s not what HIM were going for with ‘Dark
Light’.
Not as fast as Slayer’s ‘Show No Mercy’, not as
evil as Guns n’ Roses ‘Appetite for Destruction’
and not as talented as AC/DC’s ‘Highway to Hell’.
Back to the drawing board for HIM…
8/10
7/10
9/10
5/10
FIONN DEMPSEY
PETER MCKENNA
GILLIAN KENNEDY
GRAHAM KEEGAN
DELORENTOS
LEAVE IT ON EP
SEAN PAUL
THE TRINITY
AMADOU ET MARIAM
THE CHALETS
DIMANCHE A BAMAKO CHECK IN
This Dublin four-piece creates jaunty, angular
songs in the garage and college rock mould. They
have been steadily gaining followers throughout
Dublin during the past year and added another
notch to their belt by winning the 2005 Student
Music Awards. This EP is the result.
The record displays Delorentos’ pop sensibilities;
especially on the tightly produced opener 'Leave it
on' with its brooding, melodic rock.
'Any other way' builds into somewhat of a Strokes
pastiche, betraying their obvious Radiohead influences.
'Solitude' places the band firmly back on track
with some relaxed, jangly guitar work building on
a strong foundation laid by the competent, if unadventurous, rhythm section.
The piano intro of the closing number adds a positive contrast and displays a more varied influence
that is not as well expressed in the opening three
numbers.
Despite Delorentos’ occasionally predictable
lyrics the band seem set to progress further, their
EP giving a good impression of things to come
from this rising Dublin band.
If you’re interested, they’re worth checking out in
the support slot for the Coral this Thursday in
UCD along with Porn Trauma.
Gank, Truly gank. In fact this album is definitively
gank. As you venture on in life you may have
recourse to use the word gank, when you do, you
will automatically think of this latest effort from
Sean ‘da’ Paul. If you are wondering what gank
means, subject yourself to this truly awful attempt
at music and all will be revealed.
Tired, lazy, produced, synthetic are just many
of the adjectives that could be used to describe
this album. However, gank suffices. It denotes the
mixture between artistic decrepitness and a pure
lack of any discernible talent. Gank is a mixture of
damp and that horrible mouldy mildew that
accompanies it in those cases where it is not
tended to, Sean ‘da’ Paul has been allowed to
continue unmolested and his music emanates
that sort of musty minginess only found in the
most unkempt houses.
Some of you may like ‘dancehall’, that made up
genre of music that’s not good enough to be
dance, reggae or in fact any type of music.
Sean you made it up, admit it and lets end this
sorry façade. Apologise, go away and in time we
may forgive you.
In conclusion gank.
This is the latest release courtesy of Malian husband and wife duo Amadou and Mariam. Having
built an esteemed reputation for themselves in
France, Manu Chao lends a hand for the record
that brings them to a global audience.
Chaos’ Western influence combined with their
Afro-pop sound produces a charming fusion of
funky guitar riffs (occasionally reminiscent of 70s
pop music), African drum rhythms, warm vocals,
and western bass and guitar sounds.
Along with producing the album, Chao himself
contributes vocals and guitar on several of the
tracks. His own trademark features are identifiable throughout the album, in particular his folkie
guitar pieces and keyboard and xylophone
sounds.
The album consists of 15 reasonably enjoyable
tracks, however by the eighth track, the music
begins to sound slightly repetitive and a little too
familiar. In additton, the intros of several of the
tracks promise more than they deliver.
Dimanche a Bamakot has an eclectic sound and
fulsome vocals that give off warmth and optimism,
making it a welcome and refreshing change from
the Indie/Rock/Alternative era presently upon us.
7/10
GANK/10 EOIN MAC AODHA 6/10
BILL O’REILLY
FIONA HEDDERMAN
‘Check-In’ is the hotly anticipated debut album
from the five piece Dublin outfit and while it is
catchy as you like and full of exuberance, it fails to
hold attention for the duration of the album.
The opening track, ‘Theme from Chalets’, is a
bouncy number alternating between sweet female
vocals and a slightly lower male one. The second
and third tracks are great examples of cute electro-pop, full of fun.
‘No Style’, the second track, comprises of witty
lyrics like “You’re breaking up with Paul, and you
wanna get with Joe, So you can get your hole…”
and is probably the stand out track on the album
along with ‘Sexy Mistake’.
The problem with the album is that all too soon
it seems that the tracks become interchangeable,
and it becomes stagnant, monotonous. This is all
the more disappointing given that musically it’s a
particularly smart brand of glam-rock with gritty
guitars and electronica beats.
In fairness The Chalets have set themselves
apart from the pack and are a welcome departure
from the drab, bland singer-songwriter tripe we
have all been forced to listen to.
For a debut album it is a good effort but will they
succeed where The Thrills failed and become
more adventurous with their sound creating a second album of real substance.
8/10
KEVIN MURPHY
MUSIC 21
4.10.05
LIVE
GOOD
A soggy Ronan Dempsey reports back from the Fresher’s Ball
The weather last Thursday did not bode well for
an on-campus event. The rain was falling horizontally when I began my walk up to the Student
Centre that night. I think at one stage a drop
actually fell up my nose.
Nonetheless, by the time the crowds really started to
arrive the skies had cleared and the atmosphere had picked
up, setting the scene for a debauched night of carousing and
drunken frolics.
As you all know, the Fresher’s Ball this year was based
around the Students Centre featuring four stages, the main
one being a marquee set in the semi-circle in front of the
Centre bar.
Here the acts were well arranged for a build-up in crowd
and atmosphere over the course of the night, climaxing in a
well attended, thumping dance set by the Groove Armada
D.J’s, highlighted by the unusual mixing of Underworlds Born
Slippy with Michael Jackson’s Billy Jean.
The Blizzards, the second act to grace the main stage,
unleashed their trademark ska-punk set on a larger,
excitable and lively crowd who all seemed to know the
words. By the time the Republic of Loose graced the stage
the marquis was virtually full with good-time revellers, drinks
in hands and hands in the air, ready for some loud music.
The ground floor of the bar itself featured a Dance Stage
with John Mahon and Nic James taking to the decks while
upstairs was a lively place for Ball-goers to sit down, have a
drink and listen to the music below.
Unfortunately, in at the Dance stage, things stagnated
thanks to the weather. Only the hardest or drunkest of
dancers dared those precarious tiles; which were more than
a little slippy owing to all the wet trousers and shoes.
Inside the Centre itself was the Spin 103.8 stage, featuring D.J’s Cliodhna O’ Leary, Sean Harley and Johnny Moy.
This was a sociable inside area to hang around, the music
was good but it wasn’t so loud that you couldn’t stand and
talk to your friends while enjoying a drink.
Meanwhile in at the Astra Stage the crowd barely topped
fifty or sixty. This was disappointing considering that all of
MALIAN MAGIC
Ronan Dempsey talks to Malian group Amadou et Mariam about
their political message, living in Europe and listening to AC/DC
Amadou Bagayoko and Mariam Doumbia, the blind
Malian duo are currently enjoying unprecedented success in Europe with their new album, Dimanche
A Bamako, the most eclectic in a long line
of hard-to pigeonhole-recordings.
Their initial success as artists in the Ivory
Coast back in the 80’s led to a relocation to
Paris. This, their 3rd album was recorded
in France with the help of a fan, panEuropean artist Manu Chao.
Amadou attributes the diverse
styles of the recordings to a lifetime
of listening to music and the opportunities travelling offers for broadening
tastes.
“When we were learning to play
we listened to lots of different types
of music and that naturally shows
itself in our songs. Now, having travelled more we have come into contact
with many diverse styles and that has
affected our writing.
“Our style changed after the first
album. We moved to France in 98’ with our
contract and as a result we had a budget and
access to professional musicians and a proper
studio.”
“At the moment I’m listening mainly to jazz and blues but lately I’ve
found myself putting on a bit of Bad Company, Santana and AC/DC!”
On the subject of collaborator, Manu Chao, he is enthusiastic; “It was very convenient working with him. He
has always been a fan of our music and we of
him so it was very easy and interesting.”
Asked about parallels with Chao’s
music which is known for its’ left wing
political concerns, he is emphatic,
“We do allude to political and
social problems in our music but
our message is not overtly concerned with them. We address
our primary message to the
family and to the people. If
there was a particular message we want to put across in
our songs it is this: peace, solidarity and love.”--
the acts, most notably newcomers Director, the Marshall
Stars and the Chalets played exceptionally well.
The room in particular doesn’t really lend itself to live
music when there isn’t a large enough crowd there to kill the
echo but this isn’t a criticism you could lay at the feet of the
organisation. The acts were all good, the equipment was
there, perhaps there was just a little too much choice for
everyone between the four stages, not exactly a bad thing.
Perhaps this wouldn’t have been an issue had there been
more tickets sold, the event being a sell-out with a 2,500
capacity. Questioned on the subject, Ents Officer Anthony
Kelly justified the amount of tickets made available: “2,500
was the capacity because you have to make sure everyone
can be under cover in case it rains.”
Unfortunately for the five bands inside, the weather
cleared and so the atmosphere outside around the bar and
the main stage picked up meaning that the other venues suffered in numbers. Clearly Irish weather has no consideration
for good music.
The history of the UCD Freshers Ball has always been a
turbulent one with budgeting, transport and security issues
being jagged rocks on which many’s the decent Ents Officer
has perished. It is also the primary event of the semester,
giving new students here at UCD their first taste of college
nightlife, a large responsibility for the Sabbatical officer.
Following the success of the night, he was relieved at the
lack of major difficulties. “I was absolutely delighted with it. It
was a big undertaking. I’ve never done anything on that
scale before so I was just really nervous that something
would go wrong but everything went according to plan.”
With this; the first of three gigs as part of a Fresher’s festival, concluding with a headline gig by the Coral next
Thursday night, Kelly seems to have managed to perform
the delicate balancing act between cost and quality, giving
us a positive premonition of live events to come this year.
COMING UP
GIG LIS TIN GS FRO M
OCT OBE R 4TH
• Jeru the Damaja. Brooklyn Gangsta Rap.
Ri Ra. 7th Oct.
• Alabama 3. Funky Electronica.
Vicar St. 9th Oct.
• Gigsmart Presents. See posters for bands.
UCD Student Bar. 10th Oct.
• Royksopp. Norwegian Electronica.
Ambassador. 11th Oct.
• Koufax. U.S Art-Rockers.
Whelans’. 12th Oct.
• Kerekes Band. Moldovan Folk Music.
Crawdaddy. 13th Oct.
• Thursday Night Live. Turn.
UCD Student Bar. 13th Oct.
• Mark Geary feat. Emmett Tinley.
Vicar St. 13th Oct.
• Mash Up with Slam etc… D.J Sets.
Temple Bar Music Centre. 14th Oct.
• Spanish Harlem Orchestra.
Vicar St. 16th Oct.
• UCD Battle of the Bands Heat.
UCD Student Bar. 17th Oct.
COMPETITION
Answer this Question and win tickets to see
The Paddingtons on October 8th in Whelans
Q. What song did Donna & Joeseph McCall sing at this years Eurovision?
WITH
Drop your answer &
your contact details
into the Tribune
Office (LG 18 Arts
Block) or email us
22 REGULARS
4.10.05
10 THINGS I HATE
ABOUT…UCD
D’
O
R
U
RL
D
EILEEN O’MALLEY
S W
THIS WEEK:
THE METROSEXUAL
It’s hard not to be a bit image conscious in UCD. In the past two years
students from the College have won
the Rose of Tralee and Miss World.
It’s tough at the top.
In a College full of beautiful people you have to
be at tiptop form. You never know when a beauty
queen is going to sit beside you in the library. You
could be sitting in Hilpers and a supermodel might
ask you for that spare chair.
If you haven’t showered, combed your hair or
put on adequate levels of deodorant then all the
winning smiles in the world won’t work.
Girls seem to be of the opinion that being a guy
is easy. They think that because they have to get
up earlier every morning to put on make up and
shower and all that jazz, they somehow can take
a high moral ground.
Well, ladies it’s simply not true. Sure, you might
care more about your personal hygiene and yeah,
you do put more time into your appearance but it
doesn’t get away from the fact that us men have it
tough.
Turn to our Fashion Page and you’ll see a list of
male products that until the other day I didn’t
realise existed. Apparently there is a cream that
will bring out the tonedness in your abs. Just what
every man needs.
David Beckham has a lot to answer for. The
man has taken the male image on to a new level
and convinced the world that he’s a great footballer through brand management and good
looks.
Being an ordinary man in a world of metrosexuality is an increasingly strange thing. You see
beautiful girls walking around hand in hand with
be-mulleted men with highlights wearing blazers
and pink t-shirts and with a diamond stud in one
ear.
To me the metrosexual look is bordering on the
ridiculous. Pink was never intended to be worn by
men. Diamond studs will always be taboo and the
mullet was never, and never will be, attractive.
Footballers now shave their chests and appear
in modelling ads. I’m not really old enough to hark
back to the era of the bearded wingers, the hard
nuts and mucky pitches but I’m going to anyway.
What sort of role model shaves his chest?
It used to be a badge of honour not to have
showered. ‘Showers are for dirty people!’ we
cried. Nowadays you go without showering to your
peril. Even your male friends look at you weirdly
when once they’d have laughed and slapped you
on the back.
People don’t need to shower every day. That
seemingly accepted fact is a fallacy. However, this
metrosexual society in which we live has new
rules and break them at your peril.
Beer bellies have never been attractive but neither have they been vilified in the way they are
today. Men are beginning to be told to watch their
weight in the same paranoid way that Women’s
magazines have instructed their readers to for
years.
The perfect body is what they are told they
should try to achieve. But why? Who are they trying to impress? How often do men in Ireland get to
whip their tops off and flex their pecs. We’re better off not going down the Californian road where
you’re either toned or fat. A happy medium must
be found.
Nowadays you go
without showering to
your peril. Even your
male friends look at
you weirdly when
once they’d have
laughed and slapped
you on the back
“
It’s got a very serious undertone. Where women
discuss their problems men generally bottle them
up. Male suicide is almost at epidemic proportions
and the last thing unconfident young men need is
to be told that they are fat, unattractive and not
matching the stereotype of what they should look
like.
I read in a national newspaper earlier this year
that the ‘real man’ is back in fashion and women
were turning their backs on the metrosexual. This
is good news because if things keep going the
way they are, men will lose all sense of identity.
Metrosexuality is a by-word for the effeminisation of the human male. It’s ok to be in touch with
your sensitive side but to have all men preening
and beautifying themselves takes away from
many of the funner elements of human nature.
I’m sure a psychologist will tell you that it’s all
down to the undermining of the male psyche due
to the rise of female intelligence and the lack of
meaning in peoples lives. I can’t claim to be a psycho-analyst but I do know that if society keeps
going down this road then we’re headed for a
strange and unpleasant world.
I’ll be the first to stand up
and proudly declare that I
love UCD. In fact if I had my
way I’d stay here as long as
possible. It is the biggest
and by far the best
University in the country but
that doesn’t mean it doesn’t
have its flaws.
LADIES’ TOILETS IN
10 THE
THE ARTS BLOCK
The only way to survive these poor excuses
for bathrooms is to touch as little as possible, if
only for the sake of your health. In fact, it’s an
unspoken rule that when flushing the toilet, most
use their foot rather than actually touch the gross
flush button. Spend all the money you want on
fancy new crests Mr. Brady, but at least give the
women of Arts a decent bathroom.
9
THE 150TH ANNIVERSARY
CELEBRATIONS
Considering that it’s the students who make
up the heart and soul of any University, the complete lack of student involvement in the 150th
Anniversary celebrations was pathetic. We all
saw the fancy new lighting and the six fountains
in the lake but there was no real attempt by the
authorities to get the mass student population
involved. Though let us not forget that day off we
all get last year, wasn’t that a real treat?!
8
POINTLESS STUDENT
UNION HACKS
You know the type. Unable to actually get
elected to the Students’ Union, they remain on
as minions, happy to be let in on the non-stop
action of the corridors of UCD ‘power.’ My
advice, move on before its too late.
7
THE UCD CLONE
In the case of girls; this abundant creature is
commonly seen holding a latte (or other such
meal substitute) and standing outside the arts
block or Quinn School. She is usually decked out
in dubes and Polo-sport merchandise (which can
also be substituted by Abercrombie) and accompanied by jeans or navy O’Neills. Face must be
orange, eye’s highlighted by heavy eyeliner and
hair is usually blonde though this is not mandatory, some brunettes have been known to slip
through the cracks. In the case of guys, it’s
dubes and head to toe Ralph Lauren. While they
are an established fixture around Belfield, I think
its time for Ross - ‘it’s just not funny anymore’O’Carroll-Kelly and his followers to hang up their
dubes and discover their individuality.
6
THE CONCRETE JUNGLE
UCD certainly would never win any beauty
awards. The place scrubs up well on a sunny
day, but when it’s cold and pissing rain, the concrete just adds to the ‘ode to communism’ effect
that characterisises much of the Belfield
Campus.
5
THE 17 BUS
5.
Officially the worst bus in Dublin and as such
had to be included. The 17 lives by its own rules
and those unfortunate enough to have to use this
route have lost count of the times that this poxy
bus has left them standing in the cold.
4
THE BAN ON‘KN**KER’
DRINKING
The reason the Pav will always be the best
Student Bar in the country is because it allows
one to feel like they’re kn**ker drinking without
the hassle of College security. Imagine how
class it would be to enjoy a few cans of Druids by
the lake. Bliss!
3
THE NEW CREST
Rumours are that the new UCD crest was
originally designed by a five year old child who
thought that big writing and castles were ‘pretty.’
After all what was the point in having Latin and
Irish on there anyway, sure did any of us really
know what it meant? The new crest is nothing
more than a dumbed-down excuse to re-brand
and commercialize our University. And don’t
even get me started on the extra ‘Dublin’!
2
LACK OF STUDENT CONSULTATION BY UCD AUTHORITIES
Considering the vast changes that have been
introduced in the University over recent years, it
makes it even more unbelievable the lack of serious student consultation that has occurred.
Highlighted in particular by the recent announcement of the registrar Philip Nolan that semesterisation would be introduced throughout the university by 2006. There needs to be more involvement of students in the decisions that shape and
affect their lives. It’s our future they’re playing
with.
1
THE BRADYIZATION OF UCD
Change is inevitable; it can even be hugely
beneficial and successful. However, the way in
which President Brady has seen fit to change
and stamp his legacy on UCD has been nothing
short of a disgrace. His failures lie in his obsession with the commercialization of the University.
Obviously UCD needs investment and to make
money through research, but the corporate take
over of UCD will not benefit us in the long run.
Brady should not lose sight of the point of our
University – us, the students.
REGULARS 23
4.10.05
BECAUSE A PROBLEM SHARED IS A PROBLEM DOUBLED
Dear Tribune,
I think I’m in love with Miley from Glenroe. He’s
such a dreamboat. I can’t sleep, every time I
close my eyes I see his hulking masculine frame
pulsating in front of me. I imagine his grey locks
cascading in the wind as he runs through cow
dung into my awaiting arms. I think of all the conversations we could have, how he would talk me
to sleep at night with stories of arable and fodder
crops.
I keep harking back to that scene in the barn
where Miley seduces Fidelma. I keep wishing I
was her. I’ve now changed my name by deedpoll.
We would have such original looking children.
I really don’t know what to do? Should I tell him?
Every night I go to sleep dry and wake up marinating in a sodden and tangy mattress. I don’t
know what to do, I’ve tried everything; nappies,
vice-grips, not drinking my two pints of water
before bed and it just keeps happening.
I even tried staying up all night and when I
looked away for five minutes to fluff my teddy
bear it was everywhere, on my Bosco pyjamas,
on my walls and on my Action Man alarm clock.
I’m pretty sure I don’t do it myself. I’ve been
angling for my brother’s double room and I think
he keeps defecating in my bed in order to keep
his stranglehold on the big room. My Mam won’t
look at me anymore and the other night I heard
her telling a neighbour about the shame of having a 20-year-old son who wets himself. What
can I do?
Yours,
Fidelma
Yours in hope,
Peter
Dear Fidelma,
Dear Peter,
Dear Dave,
Thanks for that. I bet you’re not.
You have a hideous name. Perhaps if you
changed again it you might be able to score. You
have to ask yourself whether your obsession with
a middle aged farmer/actor results from your
childhood. Do you fancy your da?
It is you isn’t it? Don’t bother lying, you’re a
filthy dirty bed-wetter and there’s no getting away
from it. What you should do is find a nice big hole
and lie in it. If it isn’t you sorry, you’re screwed.
Dear Tribune,
Dear Tribune,
I have a problem and I can’t talk to anyone
about it. Somebody keeps wetting my bed during
the night while I’m asleep.
I’m ridiculously good looking. Just thought
you’d like to know.
Yours,
Dave
Dear Tribune,
I’ve just started in UCD and I wanted to fit in
like all the rest of the girls. My Dad’s a painter and
decorator. One night I snuck into the shed and
opened a tin of orange dulux paint.
I lashed it on real thick. It was grand for the
first couple of days and everyone thought I was
cool. Some guy even gave me a yellow t-shirt to
wear around.
However, its two weeks on now and I can’t get
the paint off. I’m showering up to three times a
day and it just won’t budge.
It turns out I used the all-weather stuff when I
should have used gloss. I’m at my wits end and
can’t come into college. Please help.
Yours,
Deirdre
Dear Deirdre,
You’d be surprised at how common a problem
this is. B&L have produced a special handbook
on this, give them a shout, they’ll sort you out.
THE
TG RUI BI U DN EE
LUNGE
TO THE
In the second instalment of the Tribunes now
world famous ‘Guide to the Lunge’ we bring you
the ‘lean-in’.
If you don’t know how to lean-in you don’t know how
to lunge. This particularly ‘modus operandi’ is the most
simplistic of lunges. Before we move on through the
minefield of more technical lunges such as the Long
Ranger and the Moisturiser, one must first learn to leanin.
Leaning-in in the correct manner requires patience,
timing and some level of technique. It is the Luas of
lunges, graceful, sleek and always-on time. You must not
be like Dublin Bus, cumbersome, unwieldy and always late.
Timing is crucial. Lean in too early and you will expose
yourself like the mustela erminea stoat ,renowned for its
soft underbelly.
Should you venture forward too late the moment may have
passed and the lunge evaded you, perhaps forever.
A lunge should not be something sordid. It should not be
forced. It must be natural. There is something intrinsic about
the lunge, you will know in your heart whether it is on.
To begin, make eye contact. Gaze deeply into the eyes of your
intended conquest. Find out what colour they are, imagine you are
awash in their cosmic beauty.
Next read the body signals. Are they making eye contact? Are they
playing with their hair, or are their legs crossed away from you, are
they impatient, do they keep checking their mobile intently.
If they are returning your signals then the lunge is most probably on.
However, be cautious, the most seemingly obvious lunges have often
ended in cataclysmic disaster.
At this stage go for a test run. The Americans would never have
dropped the atomic bomb without one and neither should you.
Lean towards her ever so slightly, drop your right shoulder by roughly 45 degrees, tilt your head and begin to move towards her. Do not
make any sudden movements. It should be one flowing motion. At the
moment of truth just move your head down and fix the laces on your
shoes.
From this you will ascertain your prey’s position,
Did they lean in and close their eyes or did they jolt like a pregnant
piebald doe caught in the headlights of an articulated lorry.
If she is still there, operation ‘lean-in’ must move to level three.
Adopt all the basics of the test run. This time however, follow through.
Eyes closed, lips moistened and pursed, tongue at the ready you
are now ready to pounce.
Go forth and conquer
THE
TURBINE
VOLUME XIX
ISSUE II
INSIDE
GARDENERS
EVERYWHERE
MOURN DEATH OF
BUSH
“OUCH IT HURTS” COLLEGE
RE-BRANDS
SHOCK AS
STUDENTS LEAVE
APARTMENT TIDY
NIGGAZ BE TRIPPIN
OVER 50’S OUTSTRETCHED LEG
SPORT
DALGLISH:
MY ELOCUTION
HELL
WEATHER
SHITE
s t ill o n
It’s Satire, Stupid!
MOSS OFF
THE COKE
PAGE 4
ly
31p
STUPID
CRYBABY
A man has been criticised for crying
over spilt milk. Jonathon Mulrooney
from Carick-on-Shannon, County
Leitrim spilt the milk after returning
from his local Mace.
A family friend revealed that Jonathon had
purchased a pint of Avonmore Slimline milk.
The friend, who described himself as
Jonathons’ best friend in the whole wide
world exclusively revealed that Jonathon
loved a glass of milk.
The horrific incident is believed to have
occurred when the plastic bag carrying the
milk split. The carton then fell on the ground
spillaging across the kitchen.
It is estimated that up to three-quarters of
the carton was lost.
Due to his quick reflexes, honed on the
local GAA fields, the Leitrim man was, however, able to salvage roughly one-quarter of
the milk.
Initialy Jonathon was relieved to have rescued some of the milk, however, shock soon
set in and Jonathon began to cry like a girl.
Despite the attention of his friends, family
and the local Priest the milk spiller was
inconsolable. Fearing for his health, his
mother called the emergency services.
By the time the ambulance arrived, roughly one hour later, Jonathon had retreated
into the foetal position. It took the ambulance
men an hour to declamp him.
One of the paramedics chastised the forlorn Mulrooney stating ‘it’s not worth crying
over spilt milk’.
PARANOID
HACKS
FACTS ABOUT HACKS
90% DESCRIBED FRESHERS BALL AS
‘GOOD’
64.2% THINK A BIRD IN THE HAND IS
WORTH TWO IN THE BUSH
Due to a lack of confidence
and
incompetency
the
Turbine has undergone significant re-branding and restructuring. The paper will
now be known as the
Turbine Turbine.
It is also getting an expensive and
pointless new masthead. We’re hoping
to spend as much money as possible.
The sections of the paper have now
BEFORE THE ACCIDENT
been revised and re-strucutured. The
News section will now be known as the
School of Hearsay and Conjecture
while the Health and Fashion section
has been amalgamated with Sport to
form the School of Cardiovascular
Good Looks.
Plans are also afoot for the
Turbine’s 20th anniversary celebrations, all writers will be sent home
while the editorial big-wigs will be
entertained by pointless celebrities
and bright lights
NORTHERN IRELAND
AMPUTATED
Pesky Northern Ireland
has been blown up.
The annoying pseudocounty has been axed
by government big
wigs.
Despite recent developments
in Northern Ireland’s peace
process, the British and Irish
governments have resorted to
a secretly arranged ‘Plan B.’
Last night clandestine teams
from the British SAS and Irish
Army Rangers sealed the border and detonated explosives
from Derry city to Newry causing Northern Ireland to drift
slowly into the north Atlantic.
The decision was formally
announced to the world by
chancellor Gordon Brown at the
Labour party conference in
P. O’FLYNN
Brighton.
To
rapturous
applause Mr Brown said, ‘For
too long Britain has put its
responsibilities to 1.5 million
unruly subjects ahead of the
vast majority of the UK.
With the money saved not
maintaining thousands of
troops and police there, Britain
can have the NHS and education system it deserves. Also
the troops and police evacuated will be used to clamp down
on chavs and basically anybody who wears Reebok classics and sovereigns’
Reaction in the Republic was
more muted, a statement from
the Taoiseach’s office
called it, ‘A pragmatic end to
futile attempts at peace and
national unity.’
Political writers have predicted the end for Sinn Fein in the
south, ‘It looks like the lower
working classes will have to
vote for a different cryptoMarxist criminal gang, eh… the
PDs maybe.’
Iceland was one of the only
voices of dissent from the international community, a complaint put before the UN’s
Security Council proclaimed,
‘Northern Ireland is due to collide with us in 2012 and we
have neither the resources or
inclination to deal with a 400
hundred year old sectarian conflict on our doorstep. If you
don’t stop this we’ll make Bjork
release another album. You
have been warned. ’
International markets took a
major dip with shares in
Buckfast, Harp, Nike (Celtic’s
kit maker) and Diadora
(Ranger’s kit maker) falling dramatically. Analysts predicted
the lack of British dole giros on
the Shankill and Falls roads will
put these companies out of
business.
Shocked Nordie leaders Dr
Ian Paisley and Gerry Adams
issued an unprecedented joint
statement, something about
‘intransigence,’ ‘British and Irish
governments’ duplicity,’ ‘situation’ and ‘struggle.’ As a result
of this being the same shite
they’ve been talking about for
thirty-five years, nobody gave a
fuck.
SPORT 25
4.10.05
DOWN THE LINE
PHYSICALITY BREEDS CONTEMPT
An emphasis on brawn and reliability has the capacity to ruin sport as a spectacle, and to seriously
hamper the chances of this country producing world-class sportsmen writes Colin Gleeson
He lies in wait. Seemingly surrounded.
Kept in check by the hordes of red and
white jerseys. Pinned down behind
enemy lines. He stands still, waiting for
the moment. Those who dwell in this
hurly burly hive of commotion glance
nervously at each other. Waiting for it.
And then he strikes.
Colm ‘the Gooch’ Cooper leaps beyond those
who flank him and ensnares his prey. Swivels
past one, pivots by two more, twists and turns
before firing the ball over the bar. Another point
for the young sorcerer of the kingdom.
Two weeks ago saw the continuation of a
trend that is currently engulfing modern day
sport in this country and indeed some parts of
Europe. Kerry, the aristocrats of Gaelic football,
were humbled at Croke Park by a Tyrone side
that are typical of the hard-hitting, physical trend
of football that has emerged in the north of
Ireland.
The growing dominance of the northern counties in recent All-Irelands is testament to the fact
that the beauty and dexterity that dominated the
times of great players such as Pat Spillane and
Maurice Fitzgerald, is on the cusp of a wave of
brute force and physical bombardment that
could well destroy the game as a spectacle.
Such a trend is something of an atrocity for
the entire spectrum of world sport. Teams and
respective sportsmen who adopt such tactics
are nonetheless worthy of their accolades and
totally innocent of any crime against sport due to
the fact that the goal of any professional sportsON THE BEACH IN RIO: A FAR CRY FROM DOLLYMOUNT STRAND
man is to win.
Nevertheless, it would be an utter tragedy
than power their way to success. This kind of
An example of this can be seen at the summit
should the cream of world sport not be provided
upheaval of what spectator sport is all about could
of the league, where Jose Mourinho’s undoubted
with the platform on which to display the sort of
have serious implications for the sport and it’s foltactical genius has pushed him towards investing
poise, finesse and flamboyance that leaves the
lowers.
in players such as Michael Essien rather than a
spectator reeling in a state of absolute marvel and
The days of watching wizards such as Eric
more innovative and spontaneous player such as
bewilderment.
Cantona dance to and fro on the field of play
Pavel Nedved.
The grace and refinement that was once coubefore meandering his way past defenders and
Talk of crisis is already rife within the
pled with skill and composure in ladies tennis has
slipping the ball deftly past a flailing goalkeeper
Premiership due to falling attendances and an
in recent years been replaced with muscle and
are long gone. The magicians of the game are a
apparently negative style of play from all the top
clout. On the biggest stage in world tennis, namedying breed.
clubs in the league. It would seem that the
ly the grand slam tournaments, players like
Managers in the Premiership today are opting
encroaching mentality that a draw is better than
Justine Henin-Hardenne should be on the pulpit
to go in search of the reliable player rather than
risking defeat is etching its way across England.
displaying all the inventive shots and nimble feet
the player who might be able to do something a litA serious problem, no doubt at the heart of the
that the game is all about.
tle different. Managers are not looking to add
issue, is that teams who are competing at the foot
Recent years however has seen players like
another dimension to their teams, but rather reinof the table cannot afford the financial implications
the Williams sisters come to the fore. Players who
force their lines of defence.
that are part and parcel of being relegated to the
are built like tanks and are trained to do little more
the diary of a...
A new academic year has begun, and with it a
new Superleague season is about to get underway. All the teams have been registered the fees
paid and now the sixty odd teams wait to do
battle on the carpet-like pitches the U.C.D
campus has to offer.
Over the last few weeks, there is no doubt
that many of the managers have endured
increased levels of stress due to the many
responsibilities that are part and parcel of
Super league management.
This begins with attempting to galvanise sixteen students into something that resembles a
decent team. Ensuring the correct balance is
struck between attack and defence is obviously crucial.
Choosing the all round best team with the
players you have while not pissing off any of
your mates in the process can, however, sometimes be a sticky business.
In the Superleague, the stereotypical
breakdown of most teams goes something like
this: For a start most of the players will be
dreadfully hung over. Usually the most athletically challenged member of the squad goes
in between the sticks. Superleague keepers
are generally characterised by a Sunday
league beer belly. Coupled with this they have
a propensity to scream a long stream of
obscenities at the back 4 after a goal has
been conceded due to an unforced error on
the their part.
Centre half’s are generally modelled on
the 1980s centre back. They are usually the
tallest on the team and the best in the air.
The gatekeepers.
First Division.
Teams like Derby County and Sheffield
Wednesday are clear examples of teams
who failed to avoid the drop and are now
languishing in the dour doldrums of English
football.
Such a trend is already leading to a more
ominous agenda for sport. Worryingly for
Irish soccer and indeed the Irish national
team, there is no longer a place for the
undersized thirteen year old with all the talent and skill of the stars of old at that age.
Youth development is in serious turmoil in
this country manifest in the state of the current national team. The burning issues at
the heart of the future of this country on the
international front are dominated by our
capacity to produce good young talent.
The emphasis on tough hardy young people may well have the capacity to utterly
devastate the potential of this country to
compete with the best in the world. Young
people are no longer playing football on the
streets. The greats of Eoin Hand and Jack
Charlton’s era grew up with the game
around them. This is not the case today.
In a small village called Porto Alegre, a
young boy used to spend every day on the
beach near where he lived. The sun would
relentlessly beat down on the back of his
neck and the water lapped at his ankles.
The sand between his toes. The ball at his
feet. And he would play.
Today he strikes fear into the hearts of all
who face him. His mazy runs. Darting to and
fro. The ball seemingly glued to the tips of
his boots. His absurd ability to decipher the
game’s conundrums before they are even
formulated.
His name is Ronaldinho. A conjuror of marvel
and wonder. That wicked smile that lulls his foe
into a false sense of security. He then spins the
web. Entangles his victim in a mesh of befuddlement and confusion. Devours his prey. This, the
miracle that is nature.
The reality in this country however is somewhat
frightening. The current has shifted and the tide is
growing stronger. The future of Irish soccer is
veering dangerously close toward self-destruction. It is absolutely imperative that the situation
be addressed without delay if it is to avoid the
plunge into an arena of sham, drudgery and broken dreams.
su p er le ag ue ca p ta in
The centre of the park is where you will
find the best players in the Superleague bar
that of the main striker. The league has a
knack of churning out G.A.A. centre midfielders who run like Shetland ponies all
day kicking and bucking to win the ball
back.
Last but not least the centre forwards.
The discerning Superleague manager generally reserves this position for the fastest and
most selfish on the squad.
This model is generally the cast mould for
most teams. You will however, over the season
encounter a team that looks the part. You
will know them because they will be on time
warming up before the game properly. They
will be clad in a matching kit they will have
pre-ordered from Nike and not sporting
every version of the Irish Jersey since Italia
by Gordon Tobin
90.
When you begin playing the matches, you
will realise that the Superleague is everything you had hoped it would be. You and
your friends have gotten your own team
together, and for 90 minutes every week you
will battle your hearts out for the right to
say we are the champions of UCD and maybe
a few crates of cheap booze.
Despite the many complaints about the
Super League: the terrible pitches, the lack
of corner flags, Octogenarian referees who
are incapable of officiating outside the centre circle, the Super League is the envy of
every of every other University in Ireland. It
is also the best student league in the country
and it plays a big role in perpetuating the
great reputation UCD has for soccer
26 SPORT
4.10.05
IRISH DUO DEMAND SUCCESS
Colin Gleeson spoke exclusively to Irish international and Lions stars Denis Hickie
and Shane Horgan about last season and their hopes for the coming year
PHOTO: SIMON WARD
They have been thrust into the cauldron. Relentlessly bombarded and barraged by the most ferocious and technically apt rugby maestros of the modern
day era. They have been savaged and
berated in the line of duty. And they
have withstood this.
The crème de la crème of British and Irish
rugby. They have ventured to the far reaches of
the world and been mauled by the fiercest of the
unruly. They stood and watched the haka. This
war dance. The blood in their veins turned cold
but they battled on. Because that’s what great
men do. But the sun went down on them.
The Lion’s tour to New Zealand last summer
was the latest frustration for Denis Hickie and
Shane Horgan in a season that many Irish rugby
fans viewed as substandard. They sit somewhat
awkwardly now. Scooped from their natural habitat.
Despite a poor show in last years Six Nations
Championship and a humiliation at the hands of
the All-Blacks, Denis Hickie remains positive during the post-mortem.
“I thought it was quite successful. I know there
was a lot of feeling afterwards that it wasn’t a
good season but when you look at how many
games we won and lost, it was quite a good year.
Obviously we didn’t achieve what we set out to
do with regards to the Championship and the
triple crown or a grand slam. But we came up
against a good Welsh team and we got a few
injuries at crucial times, but overall I think we had
a good season on the whole”.
The Lions were mortally wounded in the first
minute of their first test. Brian O’ Driscoll. The talisman in a team of leaders. A man who reads the
ebb and flow of every game he plays. The uncanny symmetry of poise, dynamics and uncompromised power make him the most feared man on a
rugby field this side of the world.
The injury he suffered at the hands of Tana
Umaga ruled him out of the tour and indeed for
the foreseeable future, according to Shane
Horgan, “no he won’t be back in time for the
autumn internationals. I’m not sure exactly
because I can’t speak for Brian but I don’t think
he’s going to make it and obviously he’ll be
missed.
“He’s our captain and our best player. He’s the
Lions’s captain. Your taking away one of our most
influential players and leaders so obviously we’re
going to miss him. But we have to deal with that
as well and it’s up to all of us now to contribute
more. As a team sometimes we rely on Brian too
much in big games so everybody has to stand up
and add that little bit extra to the side”.
The November internationals mark the beginning of a new international season for Irish rugby.
Ireland will be thrown back in at the deep end as
they aspire to uphold the reputation of
Lansdowne Road as a fortress when visiting
teams come to this country, as some of the most
potent sides in the world
arrive to do battle.
Hickie knows what is
expected of him and his
compatriots. “It’s a pretty
tough schedule. I mean New
Zealand and Australia are
two of them and we might
have a few injuries going into
them.
“But I think from a more
positive aspect, we’re never
too
easily
beaten
at
Lansdowne
Road
in
November. We’ve beaten
South Africa, we beat
Australia last time they were
here, it’s actually quite a
hard place to come and win
for teams.
“I think there’s something about the November
internationals as well. People are really getting
into the rugby at that stage and it seems to be a
good time of the year for the Irish team.
“They’ll definitely be good. They’ll be competitive no matter who we’re playing and no matter
what team we have out. And there’s no doubt
they’re going to be tough games. We’re up
DENIS HICKIE AND SHANE HORGAN: SITTING IN ANTICIPATION OF THE SEASON AHEAD
against teams who are way ahead of us in the
world rankings, but we’ll see how we’re fixed
coming into them. We’ll be as prepared as we can
be”.
The Irish winger also has a lively year to look
forward to with Leinster, as they look to build
upon last season and the new facilities available
to them coming into the new campaign. “Well we
have a new set-up here from the ground to the
coaches, to a lot of new players. We lost a lot of
players here last
year, a lot of
good players as
well.
We’ve had one
or two injuries
here too. Mal
[Malcolm O’Kelly]
hasn’t played a
lot; he’s on his
way back from
injury and obviously
Brian’s
going to be out
for the first few
games. Gordon’s
[Darcy] only coming back and in
fairness
we’re
playing our first full match this week”.
The prestigious Heineken Cup is where Hickie
will be hoping that Leinster can punch above their
weight and attempt to break the French dominance in European competition.
“We’re in a pretty tough group. We’ve got Bath
and Glasgow who seem to be on form. It’s very
much a two-phase competition; some people who
It’s up to all of us
now to contribute
more. As a team
sometimes we rely
on Brian too much in
big games so everybody has to stand up
and add that little bit
extra to the side
“
can do well in the phase before Christmas can
then have a lot of things happen in the build-up to
the second phase pre-Six Nations.
“So we’re kind of just looking at it in one phase
hoping to get good results in our pre-Christmas
outings. It’s important if we’re going to qualify that
we do well in our first three games. So we’ll just
have to wait and see. We’re in a tough group”.
With the season about to get underway on both
the international and the club scene, Horgan sees
the year ahead as a real test
of the mettle within the Irish
squad. Come next spring, the
Irish will have the opportunity
to avenge their conquerors in
the
Six
Nations
Championship. But for the
moment, there are more
pressing matters at hand.
“Well it’s difficult to look that
far ahead when you’ve got
such big games in the
autumn. We’ve got two of the
world’s best teams and then
Romania so there’s three
games before we even get
there, and then there’s the
Celtic Cup and the Heineken
Cup. It’s a long way off for
selection even and we don’t even know if we’re
going to make up the team”.
When the time does come however, the Irish
centre knows, that this years Six Nations
Championship will require that Ireland display all
the wily flair and ability coupled with the passion,
grit and determination that this country is
renowned for, if it is to stand any chance of gain-
ing retribution.
“I think there is, as there always has been for
the last couple of years, a high expectation level
that Ireland bring into the Six Nations. That’s certainly going to exist in the public domain, so to
that extent we’re always in the media but it’s a
very tough year.
“It’s the tougher year of the two-year cycle
where we have to go away to Twickenham and to
Paris and it’s never easy to get a result in either
place. It’s been a
while since we
won in Paris and
although
we
turned England
over
in
Twickenham two
years ago, it’s
been a long time
apart from that,
that we’ve beaten them there.
“It’s definitely
going to be one
of the more difficult Six Nations
Championships,
but if we can pull
all our players
together and hopefully have a very competitive
squad, it’ll be very tough to make it into the team,
and that can only be good for Ireland’s chances”.
After a season riddled with excuses and
regrets, the pair will be hoping that both Ireland
and Leinster can do themselves justice in the
coming season. Such will require a tenacious will
to win, a steely resolve and a strong heart
It’s the tougher year
of the two-year
cycle where we
have to go away to
Twickenham and to
Paris and it’s never
easy to get a result
in either place.
“
SPORT 27
4.10.05
FANNING ON FIRE
AT THE BOWL
UCD emerged with a comfortable victory
over Skerries at the Belfield Bowl last
Sunday to remain on course for progression to the semi-finals of the Leinster
Senior Cup.
The gulf in class between these two sides, evident from their respective positioning in the AIB
League, divisions 1 and 3, always left a potential
banana-slip. The Belfield boys despite being without eight first team players maintained their composure throughout with a clinical display.
Right from the kick-off it was clear that the contest would be a rather one-sided affair. The impressive out-half Cillian Lett almost immediately found
his stride capitalizing on a handling error by
Skerries winger Ronan Connolly to touchdown for
his side’s first of the afternoon on 5 minutes.
Lett was a dominating influence having stamped
his authority on the game early on; this was in stark
contrast to his opposite number, David Quirke,
who, despite his flashy boots, had a bad day at the
office.
The highlight of the afternoon was undoubtedly
the swift and efficient attacking of the UCD outfit.
Quick hands and feet was most certainly the order
of the day.
A typical example came in the 19th minute
when, following good work by full-back Darren
McKenna, former Clongowes starlet Morgan
Hickey-Crowe weaved through several challenges
to score.
With 30 minutes on the clock, left-wing Michael
Fanning combined well with centre Stephen
Grissing to add his name to the increasing tally.
His second came just three minutes later, again
the culmination of swift handling as the ball was
spread out wide.
Whilst the Belfield Brigade began to ooze
supreme confidence, Skerries frustration was
telling as Cillian Willis, the UCD scrum-half, bravely dealt with prop Derek Dorian, he of enormous
proportions.
Dorian and his front eight teammates, in spite of
their size, could not contain the more mobile and
skillful College pack. Kevin Croke at number eight
proved to be quite a handful, and he arose with the
ball in hand after a strong maul to the left of the
posts on 42minutes.
The traveling Skerries faithful welcomed the half
time respite. Many had seated themselves by their
defensive territory, as not once did their boys venture into the opposing twenty-two. But credit must
RICHARD MCELWEE
be paid to the away side as they ceaselessly sought to end the drought. This being a considerable task as a result of their persistent errors on
the move.
Grissing was more successful in his attempt
when released by Croke through the middle, 6 minutes into the second-half. The speed of the outside
centre took him away from his pursuers time and
time again. And this occasion proved no different.
The UCD backline contained a mixture of both
energetic running and solid defending, allowing
Skerries no room to manoeuvre or display their limited capabilities.
Fullback McKenna was next to add his name to
the scoreboard and further exhibit the pace at his
disposal. After 65 minutes of action UCD were racing towards a half century of points.
With the announcement of UCD’s soccer team
moving to the Belfield Bowl, it was quite fitting that
neat footwork from prop Brian Hall and the tireless
Croke opened up the Skerries defence once more.
It was substitute David Blayney who then picked
up the ball and flung it out wide to Fanning who
didn’t need to be asked twice to complete his hat
trick.
Therein followed seven minutes of scrappy interplay, with a succession of turnovers for either side.
It seemed inevitable that UCD would reach the
50points milestone and Fanning’s replacement
David Nyan duly obliged.
It truly was a nightmare for Anthony Calegro and
Fiach O’Shea on the Skerries right wing. Lett converted his fourth from nine to wrap proceedings up
at 53-0.
The boys in blue will no doubt be satisfied with a
day’s good work, and with Lett, Grissing and Croke
excelling, things bode well for the season ahead.
UCD: 15 .D.McKenna 14. M.Hickey-Crowe
13. S.Grissing 12. K.Kennedy 11.
M.Fanning 10. C.Lett 9. C.Willis 8. K.Croke
7. L.Bourke 6. J.Smith 5. R.Mandenau 4.
P.Callanan 3. B.Hall
2. A.Franciosi 1. M.Moinagh
SKERRIES: 15. A.O’Mahoney 14.
A.Calegro 13. G.Earley 12. E.Carraher 11.
R.Connolly 10. D.Quirke 9. J.Keane 8.
J.P.Ennis
7. M.Campbell 6. J.Sherlock 5. M.O’Keeffe
4. N.Walsh 3. K.Rooney 2. O.Ennis 1.
D.Dorian
LINEOUT: UCD IN ACTION AT THE IDYLLIC SURROUNDINGS OF BELFIELD BOWL
SPORT IN BRIEF
LACROSSE
Ireland recorded an impressive victory in the recent Celtic
Cup with fine wins over Wales and Scotland. UCD was
well represented with Michael Kennedy, Eric Timmreck,
Paul Doyle, Joyn Kelly and Leonard Skelly all featuring in
the hard fought competition.
Elsewhere, another notable achievement was secured
as the Irish ladies team triumphed over Denmark
to seal victory in the European Newcomers
Tournament. This should be the spark
required for the recently founded
Lacrosse club to grow in popularity.
SOCCER
The UCD U21 team produced a big performance
as they defeated Mullingar
Athletic away by a single
goal. One more win will be
enough to put them in the
quarter-finals and in a strong
position to attempt to regain
the trophy they picked up last
year. Next up are Kildare who
they will be confident of beating based on their current run
of form.
In other news, two players from the UCD senior soccer
club have retained their places in the Irish U-21s squad
for the games against Cyprus in Laranka on October 9th
and against Switzerland at Tolka Park on October 11th.
Goalkeeper Darren Quigley keeps his place ahead of
Notts County’s Saul Deeney, while Gary Dicker has been
named from the start, despite his absence from the initial
France squad
ALL-IRELAND
FOOTBALL
A week ago last Sunday,
ex-UCD footballer Brian
Dooher
captained
Tyrone to their second
All-Ireland title in three
years. The Tyrone
native holds a Bachelor
of Veterinary Medicine
from his days at Belfield
along with a Sigerson Cup
medal from 1996. He also
played for College in the
Dublin Championships.
COMPLIED BY
HARRY SMYTH
HOCKEY
The new season is fast approaching and promises to be
an exciting one for both the Mens and Womens teams.
This year three teams in the official Leister
league will represent the men; the
first team will be competing in
the Second Division after
having narrowly missed
out on promotion last
season.
The Ladies will
field
seven
teams due to
the
everexpanding
popularity
of the club
so it might
prove a
difficult
task to
k e e p
tabs on
each one
for all the
hockey
enthusiasts.
SPORT
TALENTS’ RAPID DEMISE HICKIE AND HORGAN
SEXY FOOTBALL
CAN’T GET IT UP
LIFE, RUGBY AND
BRIAN O’DRISCOLL
DOWN THE LINE - PAGE 25
EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW - PAGE 26
IRISH RUGBY STAR DENIS HICKIE AT THE MEDSOC DAY PHOTOCALL IN AID OF THE MARIE KEATING FOUNDATION
BELFIELD BOYS ON THE ROCKS
UCD succumbed to a 1-0 defeat at the
hands of league leaders Cork City at
Turner’s Cross last Sunday evening.
This was the latest in a string of results
for College that have plunged the season into turmoil.
In the space of just ten days, the students have
been rocked by defeats to Derry City in the
League Cup final and more recently at the hands
of Bray Wanderers in the FAI Cup quarterfinal.
At the end of a week that began with such
promise, the boys in blue now find themselves
with no hope of silverware and the potential to be
dragged back into the relegation dogfight below.
The League Cup final exposed the gulf in class
that exists between both ends of the league table.
College were thoroughly outplayed on the night
despite the score line, which flattered the students
regardless of the fact that the Candystripes needed an own goal from Pat McWalter in first half
injury time in order to lift the cup.
The tell tale signs that have been evident all
season for the Belfield boys were evident in the
showpiece as the players were bereft of invention
and flair in the final third.
UCD
manager
Pete Mahon admitted afterwards that his side
lacked the necessary experience on the big stage
and that his players should try to take the experience as a learning curve when he claimed that “a
few of our younger players now know what it’s like
to play at this level. I hope they learn from this and
COLIN GLEESON
we get to more finals. ”
The ramifications of the result will however
have serious implications for the club and it’s players. The opportunity to qualify for the money-spinning Setanta Cup has passed the students by.
Despite the impressive performances in the
competition throughout the season, the club has
come within a whisker of endless media coverage
and a commercial boom. The defeat is sure to
have an adverse effect on the club’s chances of
holding onto its players and indeed its chances of
attracting more quality to the team.
Mahon and his players were understandably
devastated after the encounter with Mahon stating
that “Pat McWalter is down but so are all the lads.
They are young lads and they are disappointed,
we thought our name was on the cup after we
beat Shelbourne in the semi-final.”
The UCD boss was aware of the consequences
of his side’s defeat but nonetheless attempted to
put a positive spin on what was a rough night for
his young players. “It just wasn’t to be. We had a
good run and it’s up to us to come back and make
sure we have more nights like this.”
Matters were to go from bad to worse for the
students just three days later despite Mahon’s
words of council. The Belfield boys were suffering
from what UCD Director of Soccer Diarmuid
McNally described as “a League Cup hangover,”
when the very same team that outplayed Bray a
week earlier on the same ground were run
ragged for the first hour of the FAI Cup
encounter at the Carlisle grounds.
The boys in blue found themselves
three goals down before they rallied and
began to stage a fight back of sorts. Villain
was to turn hero as Pat McWalter instigated the first goal for Robbie Martin before
throwing College a lifeline with
his fourth goal in six
games.
The end of the
game was however, shrouded
in controversy
as
UCD
w e r e
denied
what
looked
to be a
certain
penalty as
Frenchman
Damien Dupuy
was bundled over
just six yards from
goal as he prepared to
pull the trigger.
That Mahon and his
team travelled to
Cork licking their
wounds was evident
as they were outplayed, outclassed and outdone in every department. The result
means that College have failed to capitalise on the recent defeat of Bohemians,
who are positioned just above them in
the table.
A John O’ Flynn strike was what separated the two sides at the end of the
night despite the relentless pressure that
the home side exerted on College in
search of a second goal. Pete Mahon
will no doubt be disappointed with
his team’s performance and the
dismissal of Seamus Long
after just 24 minutes.
In the wake of the most
damaging ten days of
the
season
for
College, Pete
Mahon
must
take consolation
from the fact that
he has steered
the club to new
TONY MC
heights in recent
DONNELL:
months
and
UCD
brought
UCD
SKIPPER
football this seaIN ACTION
son
to
a
crescendo
of
hope
and
prosperity for
the future.