VOICE Summer 2013 - St. Francis Xavier Parish

The VOICE
Our Journey of Grace:
Moving Forward Together
St. Francis Xavier Parish, La Grange, IL
Summer, 2013
In this Issue:
* Pastor’s Ponderings * “Who Are We?” * Summertime Church *
* We Asked and You Responded * In Appreciation *
* Angels of Care: SFX Ministers of Care *
* Tears of Refreshment * Time To Say Goodbye * Kids’ Korner *
Pastor’s Ponderings
Our Journey of Grace ‐ Moving Forward Together Part of a retreat I was making involved going for a walk a couple of times a day. One afternoon I sat down on a bench, thinking of the bad choices and the mistakes I have made in my life and I felt Jesus sit down next to me, putting his arm on my shoulder. (I never have experiences like this!) He said to me, “You have to let go of that stuff.” I replied, “I know.” “It’s getting in the way and there’s a lot for you to do,” he said. And I said, “I love you.” He replied, “I know you do. And I know that you know I love you too.” “Yes, I do,” I said. Then he said to me, “Come on. Let’s keep walking.” And we got up and left. I’m 66 years old and for a long time my mind has told me that God loves me, but this was the first time I felt that love. The Jesuits got me focused by teaching me about finding God in all things so little epiphanies or revelations would happen, in nature, in others, in prayer. I haven’t really doubted, but I haven’t felt God’s presence, only observed it. And I can’t say that I was frustrated or felt left out, because I “knew” God even if I hadn’t experienced God. I also knew that once something got into my mind, it would eventually reach my heart. Guess I am a little slow! What has touched me is finding God’s presence especially in the lives of other people—children, parents, friends, the elderly, the world. In this issue of The VOICE, Art Barnum writes about our Ministers of Care. They are the ones who bring great companionship and the Lord to those who are ill. Folks who do this ministry have a special gift of love and a great generosity. It was a woman who taught me about being a minister of care. She was good at it! The grace of God also shows up at the Masonic Home for children. In this issue, Marie Ann Barry writes about an impressive group of people dedicated to the ministry of the home and about the children who reach out to each other, as well. It is great when the Catholic children from the home come to join us for our Sunday Liturgy once in a while. Sheila Walsh writes about our spiritual connection with God and the community of faith—even while on vacations that may involve long road trips! There are websites that help us find mass times and locations in various parts of the country. It’s interesting that we use cyberspace to help us get in touch with heaven, something the ancients already knew how to do! Lisa Radville provides a reflection about the refreshment of tears, gleaned from her work as a nurse. This is a good piece to read alongside the article on the SFX Ministers of Care. God’s grace surrounds us. It abides deep within our souls. Some of us experience this at an early age while others take longer, sometimes 66 years! And whether we are outgoing or introverted, we live in this world together, we make our human spiritual journey together, moving forward together. — John Hoffman 2 
Who Are We?
“Who are we?” A couple of years ago we asked ourselves this question as an annual theme . It will never be answered once, for all. Its answer depends on us, our perspectives and our experiences. Most of us feel as though we have a place in the St. Francis community. For some it’s among the people attending a particular Mass or even sitting in the same pew week after week. For others it’s a school or religious group formed around our children. Others will feel at home in a club, organization, or ministry. None of us can fully know the variety of people, backgrounds, needs and concerns that is our parish and so be able to appreciate the richness that exists at St. Francis Xavier. A recent encounter with some parishioners set me to thinking about this. They were children and teens who live at the Masonic Home here in La Grange. Few of us know about the Home, who it serves and how it connects to St. Francis. The Illinois Masonic home was established in 1885 as a home for Masonic orphans. Having outgrown its quarters in Chicago the Home moved to La Grange in 1909, caring for 78 children in a large building on 9th Avenue, which is now Meadowbrook Manor, a nursing home. The Masonic Fraternity is well known for its commitment to works of charity and our La Grange community has benefitted from its presence for over a century. Over time the Home grew to care for as many as 314 children in 1931. It was a typical orphanage of its time with children sleeping in large dormitories and eating in a common dining room. As times and needs changed, the population decreased and a new approach was needed. In 1962 the original building was vacated and the present campus consisting of residential cottages and administrative and recreational facilities was constructed on the property. It has become a full partner in the La Grange community as the residents attend District 102 schools and Lyons Township High School and participate in youth sports along with, possibly, your children or grandchildren. No longer does the Home care only for orphans, but for children who need a positive and safe living environment. What does this have to do with St. Francis? It certainly enlarges our understanding of who we are as a parish community. Religious upbringing and weekly participation in a church is required of each resident; the family designates the church affiliation and the Home staff sees that this is accomplished. St. Francis has been serving the Home’s Catholics in recent years. Jill Morrison, the Administrator of the Illinois Masonic Home and a St. Francis parishioner reflects on her experience: “Terri Simeoni has been a tremendous help in acclimating our kids to the parish and working closely with us in preparing them for their sacraments. She goes above and beyond in working with us, something we very much appreciate. We are also most grateful to the St. Francis community for their support and for offering such a welcoming environment to our residents.” Terri Simeoni, our Religious Education Coordinator, comments: “Relationships grow strong when both parties are welcoming! Jill Morrison welcomes the SFX community into the lives of the children at the Illinois Masonic Home. I can recall an occasion when Fr. Bill Stenzel and I were invited to the Home after the students in Religious Education witnessed the baptism of a classmate during class time in our parish chapel. It was indeed a special celebration here at the parish and we felt very much one with them as we were personally invited into their home to continue the celebration. It warms my heart whenever I see the children of the Home and their house parents at St. Francis.” Terri speaks for all of us when she says, “ It is good to be on this journey of grace and moving forward together with them.” — Marie Ann Barry 3 
Summertime Church
Summer. We all look forward to it. Hot days after all those cold ones. Daylight until nearly 9:00 p.m. Outdoor parties. Festivals full of music and the sound of crowds that you can hear long before you join the rest of the festival‐goers. The boom, blast, and sparkle of fireworks. Swimming and the delicious, inviting plash of water splashing. Maybe a trip to the beach. The inevitable search for shade. Cold ice cream sliding down hot throats. The feel of sweat dripping down cheeks and chests and backs. The scent of grilling food drifting across the yard. The exhilarating summer storm, lighting cracking, dark clouds rushing across the sky, refreshing wind blowing up, and rain swooping down in one second and gone the next. The energy and excitement of the beginning of summer, when we look forward to a break in our regular routine, and, if we’re lucky, we head off for vacation. Where does church fall in summer? Do you still go? Or do you take a vacation from your weekly Sunday appointment, beckoned by the beach, a hike, or a party? Is it laziness that keeps you from walking up the church steps in summer? Or perhaps you think you won’t be missed? Maybe you still go most weeks. Or maybe you only skip when you and your family head out of town. If the other masses are like the noon mass that I attend regularly, summer included, then I’d guess many of us see summer as an opportunity to take a vacation from church, too. The ranks can get pretty slim after the summer solstice. On a typical Sunday at the end of July, if you sit in the last pew, you can see straight through, without a body blocking your view, all the way to the altar, even if you remain seated when you’re supposed to be standing. Having fewer people attend mass has its advantages. For example, when my children were younger and more prone to get antsy and misbehave, their behavior visibly improved in the summer. Either having less of an audience made misbehaving less appealing, or they worried about being more readily identified as miscreants due to the paucity of other possible children to blame for the strange sounds making their way from the back of the church to the front. There was no way Father John wasn’t going to know it was they who had been fighting over elbow room when it came time to kneel. I clearly remember how, when I was a child, we had to go to church all summer long, even when we vacationed. The absolute unfairness of it! We were the only people I knew who always had to go. Even the kids in my neighborhood who went to Catholic school, for goodness sake, got a break from church when they went on vacation. Weren’t they, by virtue of their going to Catholic school, more Catholic than we were? And so, it stood to reason in my 10‐year old mind that if people even more Catholic than we were didn’t go to church on vacation, then why in the world did we have to go? If not going was good enough for them, shouldn’t it have been good enough for us? Nope. We had to go, no matter what, no matter where. I hated church anyway. Going to mass when on vacation made me resent our weekly trek even more than I already did. What I didn’t realize, however, was what wonderful things I absorbed from these visits to what seemed to be strange and foreign places of worship, like a hotel basement in Orlando where, I remember thinking, even the priest looks like the Sunshine State, with his platinum blond hair, white Chiclets teeth, and brown skin. Well, this silly looking priest was doing, saying, and wearing all the same things Father Malette did, said, and wore back in Illinois every Sunday. I remember noting at the time that this blond man, who didn’t look like a legitimate priest to me, was saying the same gospel I’d have heard had I been at home. That we said exactly the same prayers, in the same order, as we did at home. That everyone knew exactly what to say and do because it replicated what we said and did at our church at home. That everyone knew when to sing, sit, stand and kneel without being told. That the mass lasted just as long as it did in Illinois and every other place we’d been to church, and that even here, the announcements seemed to go on forever. I remember thinking, “Wow, this is exactly the same, no matter where we go. Exactly the same.” 4 (Continued on page 5)
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While at the time I absorbed the reality that the ritual of mass was the same (there was a little part of me that thought that was kind of cool), the significance of this sameness didn’t hit me until years later. I think it was when I lived in France and attended mass there and discovered it was the same—except, of course, that it was in French—that I began to realize the wonderful gift my parents gave us by making us go to church no matter where in the country we were, no matter how bitterly we complained, no matter how horrible it must have been for them to listen to our endless, nasty moaning and groaning. The simple beauty of it being exactly the same. Year after year, state after state, country after country. No matter where in the world I was, I could walk into a Catholic mass and it was familiar. The food, like grits and gravy, or Tabasco and eggs, lobster and mussels, might be different (and occasionally vomit‐provoking), and the accents might have been unintelligible, like the slow drawl in South Carolina of “how y’all doin’?” or the chopped up, shortened‐beyond‐comprehension English spoken in Vermont, and the topography and smells might have been foreign, like palm trees, mountains, deserts, cobblestone streets, clapboard houses, and pungent ocean odors, the Catholic mass was always the same, always familiar, and always predictable. At some point, likely because we went to Sunday mass no matter where in the country we were, I realized that I was doing something that generations of Catholics, generations of human beings, had been doing for centuries, and there is comfort in that. Knowing I shared something with people from 500 years ago fascinated me. How amazing to know I was doing something that my grandparents had done, and that, if I were lucky and had them, my children would do, no matter where in the world they lived. Sure, mass in 19th century Ireland wasn’t exactly the same, and I mean more than just that it was said in Latin, but I believe the essential elements remain: a community coming together, singing, readings, gospel, homily, collection, and communion. I know, the ritual has shifted over time, but the most basic elements are the same for me and my kids as they were for my great‐grandma and her parents attending mass back in 1888 in Michigan. How many things do we do today that so directly reflect what our ancestors did? How cool is that? I mean, of course human beings are basically the same as they ever were, playing games, falling in love, giving birth, struggling with emotions and the things that happen, but how many activities in our lives are done the same way they were done 100 years ago? How many things that we do today do we know, for certain, that our ancestors did, in the same way that we’re doing them now? I think the answer is, just the basic things that keep us alive – eating, sleeping, breathing, thinking. How many things do we share with our ancestors, and, with luck, our descendents, that will be the same with each generation? Not much. Mass is, and can continue to be, one of those basics of life that we share through the ages. So not only did my parents, by making us go to church even when on vacation, show me that there was a place where I would always be welcome, accepted and comfortable, that I could count on for its familiarity even when everything else was strange and scary, they also showed me that the active practice of my faith links me, inexorably, to my ancestors and my possible descendents, and thus, to humanity. What a beautiful gift. Thanks, Mom and Dad. So I challenge you, if you are one of those who takes a vacation from Sunday mass during the summer, to consider attending church over the warm weather, too. And if you are on vacation, I encourage you to find and celebrate mass even when you are away from SFX. Go to “Mass Times for Travel,” at www.masstimes.org to find a church and mass to attend while you are on vacation and in unfamiliar territory. You never know what seed you might be planting in your kids’ minds. I’m sure my parents had no idea that through that miasma of negativity spouting from their four kids, they were nurturing such a profound and exciting idea into their only daughter’s mind. Take your journey of grace on your summer journeys. — Sheila Walsh . 5 We Asked and You Responded
In the Spring issue of The VOICE, Sheila Walsh invited parishioners to add their own voices to this publication— AND WE ARE VERY HAPPY THAT A FEW OF YOU DID! Thanks for taking the time to respond. Could this be the start of a conversation among SFX parishioners?? Subject: superb! I just finished reading the winter issue of The Voice. It is beautiful to look at and inspiring to read. Well done! Maureen Windmoeller Dear Sheila, You asked what parishioners think about The Voice. This one found the latest addition to be perfect for a dilemma I'm facing when talking with a friend who is a former Catholic and now a Jehovah's Witness ‐ yes, you read that correctly! Her congregation has shunned her grandson because he admits to being gay. I have been praying for all concerned for several years now. Father Hoff‐
man wrote exactly what I am trying to say, but I am not doing very well at it.............I smiled as I read his message ‐ I have so many small miracles in my life and this is just one more. The Voice is just one more blessing.............I'm sending the article to her............. Please keep up the good work. Jackie DeThorne Hello Voice Staff, I just loved this spring's edition of The VOICE. Not only because I am a florist, but because of the references to the meaning of flowers. Last April, the book club I belong to read the book, "The Language of Flowers" and we all really enjoyed the book about a lady whose life was a struggle but found the meaning of various flowers and their symbols the key to helping marrying couples find the perfect flower to keep their love alive. Very good book although the author escapes me right now. The reference to the lily took me back to last May when my husband, Matt and I traveled to Italy to celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary. While in Florence we saw many paintings including Alessandro Allori's "Annunciation". Allori painted the lily repre‐
senting the Annunciation, the cornflower depicting paradise in it's blue colour and jasmine symbolizing dedication to Madonna in the month of May and the grace and elegance of the Virgin. Viewing these painting were a highlight of our trip. Thanks for bringing the flowers back into my life! I liked the history of the Sisters of St. Joseph too. Our oldest was a Nazareth graduate and reading the history reminded me of the dedication the sisters at Naz had for their students. Keep up the good work. Kathy Furjanic 6 In Appreciation
Sue Matthews is a quiet yet powerful force. She encouraged us to grow as writers, to follow our curiosity and to explore new ground, to search for items of interest to parishioners, to expose our minds and hearts in personal reflections, to include kids, teens and young adults as writers, to open these pages to occasional writers, and to appreciate the richness and variety of the people who are St. Francis Xavier parish. She gave us the opportunity know and work with each other and so to make new friends. Sue brought color and beauty to each issue of The Voice that came into parish homes. She gifted us with her insights and her scholarship in her own writing. Her spirituality imbued her presence. We will miss that. We will miss her voice. We will miss her. Heartfelt thanks to you, Sue! — Reagan, Sheila, Art, Lisa, Marie Ann and all who have written for The VOICE over the years The LORD will guide you always and give you plenty even on the
parched land. The LORD will renew your strength, and you shall be
like a watered garden, like a spring whose water never fails.
Isaiah 58:11
7 Angels of Prayer
SFX Ministers of Care
The most common image of Jesus in the minds of the faithful, other than on the cross, are the many episodes of Christ healing the sick—never citing any requirement or guideline that the stricken person had to meet. St. Francis Xavier has is own version of attempting to reach that lofty goal that Jesus set with more than 30 members of the Ministry of Care program in our parish. The decades‐old local program, now under the leadership of Fr. Bill Killeen, has a schedule that calls on the members of the Ministry of Care program to provide this one‐on‐one contact with members of the parish, and others of our faith, during every week of the year. "When you can't go to Jesus, Jesus comes to you," Marge Branecki, a minister of care for over 20 years said. "We bring Jesus to the people in need." These ministry members make home visits upon request, often on a regular basis. Also, for some, their routine includes weekly trips to Meadowbrook Manor Nursing Home, Windsor Place Retirement Home, Adventist La Grange Memorial Hospital, and Hines Veterans Administration Hospital. Their main function is to offer those unable to attend mass the Sacrament of Communion and to pray with them. When they make a visit they carry a small container, called a pyx, which carries consecrated hosts obtained from our church's tabernacle. The archdiocese, as well as several other sources, offer scripted dialogues in which the minister of care often starts with reciting an Our Father, presenting Communion, and reciting a Scripture reading or another prayer. Often times, a relationship is build up between the minister of care and home bound sick, and those 10 to 15 minute periods can take on a personal tone. "First of all, you have to be a caring person," Branecki said. St. Francis' Ministers of Care have all received formal training on the theology of sickness and suffering through approved programs usually lasting over a couple of days. Every three years they have to reaffirm their commitment with refresher training. "We need to love and support each other," Branecki said. "The Ministers of Care are blessed when love is returned. Sometimes, or maybe 100 percent of the time, we feel more blessed than those that receive." "We (Ministers of Care) receive a great deal of personal satisfaction that comes from being allowed into this process," said Tom Carroll Sr., who makes several home visits a month and is part of a St. Francis contingent that makes regular visits to the veterans of Hines, sometimes offering Communion to as many as 50 or 60 veterans in a single visit in the long term care facility. All it takes to have one of the Ministers make a visit, either a one time visit, or make visits a regularly appointed round, is to call the parish. There is no threshold, no forms to complete, no approval needed from a higher source. "There is no need for approval to find time to pray together," Branecki added. Appointments are necessary for home visits and the nursing and retirement homes offer set schedules. If a family member or a caregiver is in attendance, they are offered to take part in the prayer and reception of Communion. "The home visits are a little more flexible because there usually is an ongoing relationship," Carroll said. "We try to be as social as they want. That is part of the very nature of a ministry." The parish is always looking for volunteers for its numerous ministries and this program usually has about six to eight fresh faces every year in this ministry. Also there are several members of the ministry who serve as transporters, helping bring the wheelchair‐bound residents of a facility to a Communion service. If a parishioner wants to view the program to see if they want to participate, they can ask to shadow, or accompany, a current Ministry of Care member on a visit. "There is no greater sign of God's love," Branecki said. "The heart of this program is very simple—love one another. A smile and a ‘thanks’ are what are important." 8 — Art Barnum Tears of Refreshment
“Where do all the tears go after you cry and cry?” “Where do they end up at; do they know where to go and why?” This was the start of a poem I penned at age 16 during my teenage angst years while having a prolonged weeping session. I remember actually pausing during my outpour of tears to question scientifically why tears exist, how they know to start flowing, and whether there was a place that they ended up all together, pooled together by humankind’s collective weeping of woes. The pausing to think about all this gave me time to stop crying and rest, but I can remember the strength of my emotion as if it was yesterday. I can remember, too, the sense of peace and calmness afterword, the sensation of relief and restoration after such a purge. Tears are thought of as a sad thing, but they actually are a form of refreshment as they serve to soothe us. Scientifically speaking, a trigger in the brain brought on by emotional thoughts, not just of sadness but also of extreme happiness or shock, will engage the glands that make tears form and flow. The tears themselves consist mainly of water, and hormones such as oxytocin (the human bonding hormone) greatly stimulate tears. People say “Cry me a river,” and “She was flooded with tears.” Both are references to the refreshment that water offers. Most people feel better after crying, sometimes a little drained of energy, but usually more balanced and restored. In the clinic where I provide health care, I am required to ask children to rate their pain based on a Face scale which shows simple faces becoming progressively more miserable. Adults rate pain on a 0‐10 scale, but children use the face symbols and point to the one that shows how they feel. A zero pain rating shows a smiley face, a score of 4‐5 shows a face with a straight line mouth and in the ten rating the face is crying, with eyes winced closed and tears streaming down. What is interesting is that some children crying when they come in with an injury point to a calm face with a 3 or 4 pain score. When you ask them about the discrepancy, they say, “Oh I’m just crying on the outside,” or something similar. Likewise children will come in with no obvious expression of pain, but point their pudgy little finger on the crying 10 face rating. When you say, “But you are not crying, do you really hurt that bad?” they always nod and say something to the effect of “I’m crying so hard on the inside.” So sadness and tears can be emotional or physical in manifestation and tears mean different things to different people. To some, tears show weakness. It is hypothesized that this is why women cry several times a year, while men do so only once or twice. But most will agree that it feels great to have a “good cry,” reflected in statements such as, “Thanks for letting me cry on your shoulder.” Maybe we should just accept sadness as the natural and normal feeling that it is and let the tears roll when we need some pure refreshment. For those with prolonged sadness or signs of depression, of course, professional help should be obtained. But for those just run of the mill mild blues, bouts of simple sadness or disappointments, feel free to let your lacrimal ducts purge your body of the dark storm. And if anyone does know where all tears end up after they are shed, let me know. My inner teenage angst poet still wants to know if there is a lake somewhere that God created to hold everyone’s wet outpourings of sadness. To be human is to feel, so, if you want to, just cry and feel refreshed. Remember the song, “It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to.” Happy summer and Peace. — Lisa Radville 9 Time to Say Goodbye...
This is the last issue of The VOICE for which I will serve as Editor. Over the past five years, I have worked with a remarkable team of writers whose brainstorming sessions always left me invigorated and grateful for their quick minds. I would like to thank them for their energy, curiosity, and dedication. They have approached their work with professionalism, despite their volunteer status, and I respect their talents and abilities vis‐a‐vis their craft. Each of their published "voices" evokes a unique quality and tone, which I hope you have come to know and appreciate as much as I do. There have also been quite a few "guest" writers: children, teenagers, young adults, and young‐at‐heart adults. Their contributions have been invaluable in broadening the scope and appeal of The VOICE. Artists and poets—again young and not‐so‐
young—have generously graced the pages of The VOICE with their works. The wealth of generosity and talent offered to the parish
‐at‐large through The VOICE has been remarkable. It has been a privilege to be associated with such a vibrant group of individuals and to have worked on the design and editing of this publication. Thank you to all— the writers, artists, and poets...along with the readers. My nine years at St. Francis have made for quite a journey! In the last few months, so many of you have reached out to me through email, notes, and phone calls. Your care and concern is very much appreciated and a bit overwhelming. I am even more aware, however, that all the people of this community have helped me to grow more fully into the person I am meant to become. For this I am grateful and, in turn, I hope that I have also been able to do the same for you. The Universe is most assuredly synchronous; it is not by chance that we have shared the journey for these past nine years. Blessings! 10 Susan Dehn Matthews Kids’ Korner
SUMMER IS A GOOD TIME FOR A GOOD BOOK!
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Inside All, by Margaret Mason
You Are A Star, by Michael Parker
The Whales’ Song, by Dyan Sheldon
Dreamcatcher, by Audrey Osofsky
Old Turtle, by Douglas Wood
Old Turtle and the Broken Truth, by Douglas Wood
The Clown of God, by Tomie dePaola
The Quiltmaker’s Gift, by Jeff Brumbeau
Ship of Dreams, by Dean Morrissey
11 The VOICE
Non‐Profit Organization U.S. Postage PAID LaGrange, Illinois 60525 Permit No. 26 The VOICE newsletter is published three times per year by St. Francis Xavier Parish 124 N. Spring Avenue, LaGrange, IL and entered as 3rd Class, not‐for‐profit mail at the Post Office of LaGrange, Illinois 60525 Editorial Staff Editor: Susan Dehn Matthews Contributors: Art Barnum Marie Ann Barry John Hoffman Lisa Radville Sheila Walsh Email: VOICE@sfx‐lg.org Submissions of written prayer, poetry, photography, artwork and other creative expressions of faith are invited and welcomed for consideration. All submissions are subject to editorial approval. You will be contacted only if your submission is chosen for publication. Please forward submissions by email to: VOICE@sfx‐lg.org