Worth “The Wait” – Feature on DeVon and Meagan
Transcription
Worth “The Wait” – Feature on DeVon and Meagan
DeVon and Meagan connected while working on the film Jumping the Broom. w IN THEIR NEW BOOK, THE WAIT, HOLLYWOOD POWER COUPLE DeVON FRANKLIN AND MEAGAN GOOD DETAIL HOW DEVELOPING DISCIPLINE UNLOCKS GOD’S GREATEST BLESSINGS FOR YOUR LIFE ORTH THE BY CHARREAH K. JACKSON 100 ESSENCE .COM FEBRUARY 2016 HASAN/@ FACE TSTU DIO AIT WHY WAIT? In our on-demand, express-delivery and microwave-meal society, waiting for anything, especially sex, can seem inconvenient. Yet growing discipline could be the key to unlocking lasting love and joy. DeVon, 37, and Meagan, 34, both credit their waiting season as pivotal in their journey and in strengthening their ability to be patient. For Meagan, it was a chance to know herself in new ways. “I learned self-control and loved myself in a more meaningful way,” she says. “If I could give God one of the most tempting areas of life, anything else is possible.” The couple hope more singles consider saving sex until marriage, especially in the Black community. “We need to start looking at how we date. We need to start talking about sex in our community,” DeVon says. “We can start to consider another way to do this that will produce more peace and better health— spiritually, mentally and emotionally. We can put ourselves on a path to healing and reconciling relationships.” Though The Wait centers on celibacy, mastering delayed gratification has an impact on every area of life from finances to family relationships. 102 ESSENCE .COM FEBRUARY 2016 I decided to slow down and become celibate. God had let me make my mistakes. Now it was time to do it God’s way. almost a year before he asked her out, after their paths continued to cross while promoting Jumping the Broom. “ ‘The wait’ is first about my time with God, time I needed to grow and begin the healing process,” Meagan writes. “Those nine months between God telling me that DeVon was my husband and his asking me out on our first date was one of the toughest times of my life.” DATE WHILE YOU WAIT —MEAGAN GOOD GET GOD’S BEST Growing up in Oakland, DeVon knew he loved the Lord. He also wanted a career in entertainment and, at 18, got the first taste of the high life while interning for Will Smith’s management team. During that time, he struggled to remain true to his religious beliefs. In his early twenties, he committed to celibacy. “The decision to wait was one of the most difficult ones I’ve ever made in my life,” he shares in the book. “I asked myself, ‘What if what I was doing disqualified me for the full manifestation of the call God has on my life? Would it be worth it?’ ” For DeVon, short-term pleasure outside of a commitment before God wasn’t worth missing his blessings. “I couldn’t reconcile the idea that at the end of my life, God might say, ‘Here’s what I had planned for you, but because you showed yourself unworthy, I couldn’t do all I wanted to do in your life.’ I wasn’t prepared to take that risk.” So DeVon waited for God to reveal his wife. Inside the producer’s office hang framed posters featuring his theatrical projects with their opening week box office earnings next to them. The Pursuit of Happyness boasted $109 million, and Heaven Is for Real grossed more than $29 million. Perched on his bookshelf are scripts he’s helped bring to the big screen. Alongside the remakes of The Karate Kid and Annie rests Jumping the Broom, the film that jump-started his own marriage. In 2010 Meagan arrived on the set of the romantic film unsure of what the future held for love. “I was in the fourth year of a relationship that had become destructive,” she notes. “I would see DeVon on set and think, That’s the type of guy I wish I could be with.” After the shoot wrapped, Meagan went home and ended things with the man she’d been dating. “My next assignment was to work on myself.” Seeing her mother’s anguish after her parents split taught Meagan to guard her heart at an early age. “I avoided failure and heartbreak. Choices I thought I was making out of strength were actually out of weakness and fear,” she writes. “I decided to slow down and become celibate. God had let me make my mistakes. Now it was time to do it God’s way.” While actively spending time in prayer, journaling and stepping up her self-care, Meagan felt God reveal to her DeVon was her husband. It would be COU RTESY OF SU B J ECTS (2) O n any given Sunday, you can find film producer DeVon Franklin and actress Meagan Good just about anywhere. The set of one of their film projects, a church where DeVon preaches the word or the red carpet during awards season are just few of their regular stops. On a sunny Sunday last November, the couple go over 2015, their best year yet, while sitting in DeVon’s Los Angeles office on the Sony lot. “Franklin Entertainment” is scrawled on the wall behind them. It’s his first year as CEO of his own venture after stepping down as senior vice-president of production for Columbia Pictures. In his inaugural 11 months, he has produced the new film Miracles from Heaven, featuring Jennifer Garner and Queen Latifah, and a pilot for the FYI network in which he counsels couples. Meagan, who stars in Fox’s Minority Report, has just returned from Canada, where the series is filmed. Her prayers to do a sci-fi action project were answered with the TV adaptation of Steven Spielberg’s international blockbuster. The couple, who’ve been married for three years, attribute their professional success, solid union and inner peace to one major decision: waiting to have sex until after they married. Their story made headlines and many articles covering their personal choice followed. Now they are offering all the details of their experience and encouraging others to consider celibacy before marriage in their new book, The Wait: A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love (Howard), due out February 2. In the tome, the two are honest about their undertaking. “Everything has changed dramatically since I stopped picking and choosing which parts of the Bible I would follow,” Meagan writes. “When I stopped and focused on the hardest thing, which is sex, I watched my life and career change.” priceless gift: authentic love. After ten months of dating and actively getting to know each other, DeVon dropped to one knee and asked Meagan to marry him. The couple tied the knot in 2012. Of course, if everyone knows you have waited, there will be plenty of comments on your wedding day about the night ahead. “One of his cousins had a dirty joke for us during his speech,” Meagan recalls. “My family was nervous since his family was so rooted in the church. That joke let us know they are free-spirited, funny and good-natured.” The couple offer never-beforeseen photos of their wedding as a special bonus for those who preorder The Wait. Sex is a gift from God in which you are one with another person. The Franklins don’t shy away from its power. “There is nothing wrong with sex and sexuality. God created HAVE DISCIPLINE FOR THE JOURNEY both for the enjoyment of married couples,” Visit thewaitbook.org Three years after the two were married, the the duo share. In our society, waiting for for more information and blessings for their sacrifice are still coming in. “There marriage to have sex is often considered a to preorder your copy. has been nothing about this walk that has been easy, practice of the past. Yet the effect of sex on yet the rewards that have been reaped because of the sacrifice our spirits is unchanging. “When you have sex with someone, are irreplaceable,” DeVon says. “Any great relationship takes time. you are leaving them a piece of yourself and taking a part of The more you try to rush it, the more you risk damaging it and them with you,” they add. yourself in the process. When you are used to delaying gratificaAbstaining while you date allows for a clear assessment of tion, you can be patient to allow potential to manifest.” another person without sex clouding your judgment. ChoosAt the core of The Wait is trust. “God has a destiny set up for ing to date while you wait requires planning and much you, but you get to choose whether to follow,” the couple communication between couples. DeVon and Meagan had to imparts. “You decide how to express God’s vision for you.” learn each other’s triggers while dating to avoid temptation. For Meagan, the fruit of their waiting season includes more “I had been celibate for longer when we started to date, so my confidence in herself and her marriage. “Because God sent us to resolve was stronger than hers. We would hug and she would each other and ordained our marriage, and the clarity I received say, “That’s enough,” DeVon shares. After learning to master through my wait, I know there’s nothing we can’t do. I don’t their natural urges while dating, the couple hope to help worry about him cheating or other things that plague other singles and other couples gain greater clarity and strength in relationships. We have a lot of peace.” The couple are also clear their relationships. “Waiting is an act of power,” Meagan that marriage is more than a good time and a calling on their writes. “It’s declaring that you know and accept yourself, love lives. “The person you marry is your partner in life and purpose. yourself and trust God.” God has given you help to do what he wants.” £ Deciding not to have sex before marriage has unique considerations for men and women. In the book, Meagan tackles common concerns for women from whether men are DeVon and Meagan seal willing to wait to how to deal with meddling friends. DeVon their bond with a kiss at their California wedding breaks down society’s expectation of the hypersexualized in June 2012. male. “Think about how many men who used to be on top of the world who can’t even get a job because they had no discipline in their personal lives. God gave men their sex drive, but he also gifted them with restraint, wisdom and the ability to inspire,” DeVon writes. “As a man, if you can be disciplined in your sexual life, there’s nothing you can’t do.” DeVon and Meagan began dating in May 2011. That September they decided to go on a Daniel-style fast, giving up meat, bread and sweets for 40 days. “We wanted God to bring us closer together, as we believed we were moving toward getting engaged.” They also began four months of pre-engagement couples counseling. They put their relationship counselor Bishop T.D. Jakes’s advice on choosing a spouse like you buy a house into action: Do your research and examine everything before making a decision. “Counseling was a tremendous blessing to our marriage,” Meagan says. “It made us think and see each other’s baggage. What can you live with?” READY TO LEARN MORE? CHECK OUT THE WAIT 101, A FREE ESSENCE EMPOWER U ONLINE COURSE BY DeVON FRANKLIN AND For the Franklins, “the wait” is not punishment. It is a MEAGAN GOOD. REGISTER AT ESSENCE.COM/THEWAIT. season of denying your immediate urge in search of a