a text from the conference

Sonia Sherefay
‫سونيا شرفاي‬
I was born and grown up in Cairo, Egypt
Eritrea
Ethiopia
Italy
Oman
Sweden
www.sherefay.se
8/23/2013

I’m an adult teacher

Integration consultant

A writer

And my own parental educations program called The
children of our hurt “Barnen I VÅRA hjärtan!
www.sherefay.se
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Books I wrote
www.sherefay.se
The books will serve as a basis for discussion in the workshops
Swedish language for immigrants
And parental education program
Or at parent meetings in schools
Etc..
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I am the co-author of following books
Jag ska gifta mig med den jag vill!
(sid 55)
Du älskar ju din dotter! (sid 85)
www.sherefay.se
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Other about my work
www.sherefay.se
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The parental education program include:

A short introduction of the Swedish history

Democracy

Equality

Religion in a secular society

Fundamental values

How to raise children in Sweden, the “A children society”

Children rights

Women rights

Law against children abuse

The Swedish school system

And so on
www.sherefay.se
8/23/2013
Sweden as a multicultural country

Since more than three decades a large number of immigrants/refugees have
emigrated to Sweden.

We are approximately more than one million migrants/refugees

A lot of them are Muslims, not only from the MEA but also even from several
parts of the world

The Arabic language is the third large language in Sweden now

In Malmö, Rosengård live many Arab people, and Mohammed is the most
common name of neonates boys here

The most famous Swedish football player Zlatan Ibrahimovic is from
Rosengård as well.
www.sherefay.se
8/23/2013
Some of the problem and opportunity how
immigrant families have to handle with in
exile:

Unknown number of illiterate people

Segregations issues

A large number of unemployed beyond the migrant/refugees

Students who finish secondary school without success

A large number of divorce between immigrants’ families

A large number of divorced mothers to a large number of children

Att DUA
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Cultural crash

Etc.
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www.sherefay.se
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Values, culture, religion and tradition!
"Culture is the lens through which we view the world!“
Ruth Benedict
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Law against children abuse
”AGA LAGEN”
1 JULI 1979
‫قانون عدم استعمال العنف‬
Fysisk
misshandel
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Psykisk
misshandel
Bristande
omsorg
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Collective in focus!
‫الجماعية‬
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www.sherefay.se
INDIVIDUAL SOCIETY
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1
+
1= 3
!‫ازدواجية الثقافات‬
Att pendla mellan två kulturer!
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The Swedish society and the Swedish people

Secular society

Avoid conflict

Like Nature

Environmental friendly
sort like all kinds of garbage separately
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"We live and work in a women's land!"
Women
EQUALITY?
Children
pets
Men
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The Law of Jante

Are ten rules state usually referred to as a homogeneous unit:
1.
You're not to think you are anything special.
2.
You're not to think you are as good as us.
3.
You're not to think you are smarter than us.
4.
You're not to convince yourself that you are better than us.
5.
You're not to think you know more than us.
6.
You're not to think you are more important than us.
7.
You're not to think you are good at anything.
8.
You're not to laugh at us.
9.
You're not to think anyone cares about you.
10.
You're not to think you can teach us anything.
www.sherefay.se
8/23/2013
“The people's home”

“Folkhemmet” is a political concept that played an important role in the
history of the Swedish Social Democratic Party

As well as FOR the Swedish welfare state.

A midway between capitalism and socialism.

The base of the “Folkhem”:


The whole society as a small and national family
Everybody must contributes
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Is not so easy to be immigrant in Sweden without
understanding “WHAT IS DIFFERENT”!
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EMPATHY
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ACCEPT
Disagree
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Relations in Islam
August 21th 2013
Gregorian calendar
١٤٣٤ ‫ شوال‬١٥
Hijri calendar
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The Islamic calendar ”Hijri calendar”

The Islamic calendar is a lunar calendar of 12 months and 354 - 355 days a
year.
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vid nymåne
A month in the lunar calendar is 29-30 days: the time it takes for
the moon to rotate once around the earth!dagar
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1.
MUHARRAM

7. RAJAB
2.
SAFAR

8. SHAABAN
3.
RABI AL-AWWAL

9. RAMADAN
4.
RABI AL-THANI

10. SHAWWAL
5.
JUMADA AL-ULA

11. DHU AL-QEEDA
6.
JUMADA AL THANI

12. DHU AL-HIJJAH
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Islam
‫اإلسالم‬

Islam is a monotheistic and Abrahamic religion since 1,434 years ago.

The 1th year of the Muslim calendar counts from the year Prophet Muhammad
migrated from Mecca to Medina (in 622 e K.)

More than one and a half billion people around the world are Muslims.

Most of them live in the Middle East, India, Indonesia, Pakistan, Bangladesh, many
countries in Africa, China and Eastern Europe.

Approximately 20-25 million Muslims live in Europe.
www.sherefay.se
8/23/2013
Children of Abraham

Islam is a religion that follows the Prophet Abraham’s learning, and is related
to Judaism and Christianity.

For Muslims people prophet Muhammad is the last in a long line of prophets
and the Quran is the Muslim holy book.

One who profess Islam are called Muslims, which means one who submits to
God.

Islam is now the second largest religion in the world.
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Quran
‫القرآن‬

The Quran is Islam's holy book and God's own words verbally revealed through angel
Gabriel (Jibril) to Muhammad, gradually over a period of approximately 23 years.

Prophet Muhammad was 40 years old.

The Quran was concluding on the year of prophet Muhammad’s death.

The Quran contains 114 chapters and 6,226 verses and includes 99,464 words.

Besides the Qur'an there is guidance and rules in the “ahadith”, tradition
collections.
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8/23/2013
Profhet ”Muhammad”

Was born in Mecca, Saudi Arabia, on 570 e Kr. He was illiterate and orphaned, and lived
in a culture where there was an oral tradition.

At the age of 40 years old he was chosen by God as a prophet and God
revelation, the Quran.

The Quran is considered to be the word of God.

Angel Gabriel, learned Prophet reciting Qurans' verses. These revelations came in short
sequences over a long period.

Quran came in book form after Muhammad's death,.

According to Islam, it is forbidden to depict all prophets including Muhammad.
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8/23/2013
Who is a Muslim

Muslim is the one who confesses that there is one God, Allah, and that Muhammad
is his messenger.

A Muslim believes in life after death, the day of judgment, the paradise and the
hell.

A Muslim believes in all the prophets of God: Adam, Abraham, Moses, Jesus and
others.

Jesus / Isa is an important prophet in Islam and is mentioned in several places in
the Quran.

Even Mary/ Mariam is mentioned in the Quran
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8/23/2013
‫اهل الكتاب‬
People of the Holy Books

A Muslim believes in the three holy books:

The Old Testament

The New Testament and

The Quran
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Sunni and shia muslims

80% of Muslims are sunni muslims.

Abu Bakr was a friend of the Prophet and father of his wife Aisha.

Ali was the prophet’s cousin and son-in-law.

Abu Bakr succeeded prophet Muhammad as a caliph after his death.

Ali did as the fourth caliph.

Islam splits to shia because Ali supposed to be the first caliph and not the
fourth.

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”The five pillars of islam”
(basic concepts and obligatory acts of worship)
Al shahada
Al salat
(belief or
confession of
faith)
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(worship
in the
form of
prayer)
Al hajj
Al sawm
(fasting
during the
month of
Ramadan)
Al zakat
(alms or
charitable
giving)
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(the
pilgrimage to
Mecca at
least once in
a lifetime)
Family relationships in Islam

Islam considers the family as the corner stone of Islamic society.

It bases the atmosphere in the family on sacrifice, love, loyalty, and
obedience.

The traditional definition of a Muslim "family“ means husband, wife and
children. Even grandparents are part of the extended Muslim family.
www.sherefay.se
8/23/2013
Husband-wife relationship

The following Quran’s verse portrays the right Islamic atmosphere for
husband- wife relationship:

"And among his signs is this: He created for you spouses from yourselves that
you might find rest in them, and He ordained between you love and mercy."
(30-21).
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
Prophet Muhammad said: “The best among you
are those who are best to their families and I am
the best of you to my family.”
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Parent-children relationship

Once a man came to the Prophet Muhammad and asked: who is the person
who is most worthy of my good companionship?

The Prophet answered: “your mother, your mother, your mother then your
father.”
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8/23/2013
The Quran refers to parents-children
relationships in four main places

Before it asks children to be good and loyal to their parents it requires
parents to be extremely careful in upbringing their children. In other words it
asks parents to do their duty before asking for their rights.
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
Parents who do their duty deserve a honorable treatment of their children.

When a parent came to the Prophet Muhammad and complained to him about
the ingratitude of his son, the son said:

“He was ungrateful to me O Messenger of Allah, before I showed ingratitude
to him.”

So the Prophet did not blame the son but disliked the attitude of his parent.
This is a message to all parents.
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8/23/2013
Islam and Marriage

Islam permits Muslims to satisfy their sexual needs only through lawful
marriage.

The man and the woman who are to establish a marriage contract and
relationship must perform a "Request" and an "Acceptance".

Both spouses must have witnesses to testify that marriage contract.

the woman in Islam is also protected by such contract against unlawful and
harmful relationships.

Islam established the basis of a nucleus family that is nourished by the
mother, and supported by the father.
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8/23/2013

A bridegroom and his bride must enter into this relationship with full
conviction, mutual acceptance, and preliminary satisfaction of the essential
marriage requirements.

A Muslim woman retains her surname at marriage
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8/23/2013
Divorce in Islam



Islam regards marriage bond as sacred and blessed.
“ The most hatred lawful item in the Sight of Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) is
divorce”.
Divorce:

when marriage reaches a dead end between the two spouses and there is no other
solution.
1.
Divorce may be compulsory when the two assigned referees decide it in the case
of the disputed spouses.
2.
Divorce is unlawful, if there is no sound and visible reason or ground for it.
3.
Divorce is permissible, if the wife is vicious in terms of character and attitudes.
4.
Divorce is required, if the wife is not committed to the Islamic teachings, or if
she is indecent or vulgar.
www.sherefay.se
8/23/2013
Divorce normally is a right to the husband!

The woman has the right to divorce if:

she was beaten by her husband

the man is impotent

the man does not fulfill his dependents
www.sherefay.se
8/23/2013
Death

When a Muslim dies, he or she is washed respectfully and wrapped in a clean,
white cloth (kafan) and buried after a special prayer, preferably the same
day.

The dead is then transported to the site of the funeral prayers (salat-ljanazah).

The funeral prayer is similar in structure to the five daily prayers, with a few
variations
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You can not teach a man
anything;
all you can do
is
to help him
find it himself!
Galileo Galilei
www.sherefay.se
8/23/2013
sherefay_sonia@hotmail.com
www. sherefay.se
&
Centrum för arabiska familjer i exil, CAFI
www.caafi.se