March 2014 - Ozark Mountain Parrot Heads Home

Ozark Mountain Parrot Head
Phlock Squawk
Officers
President:
Bud Page
omphcaptainbud@gmail.com
VP:
Chris Reed
crsigns1@gmail.com
Secretary:
Kim McKnabb
Kimbo1461@aol.com
Treasurer:
Cheri Fenton
cfenton@larsonjd.com
Membership:
Chelli Hatch
chelli.hatch@yahoo.com
Projects:
Glenda Hunt
parrotheads417@gmail.com
Public Relations:
Julie Henderson
juliepenny4132@yahoo.com
Newsletter:
Richard Weter
r.weter@yahoo.com
Webmasters:
Mike Crandall
captaincrandall@omphclub.com
Julie Henderson
juliepenny4132@yahoo.com
Historian:
Sharon Page
bidsinc2@mchsi.com
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37° 11' 05.69" N / 93° 15' 43.46" W
These coordinates are subject to change
to suit the prevailing attitudes!
March
2014
Captain Bud
Finally some 60-degree weather!!
Almost time for spring to show itself,
don’t you think?? I know officially we
have one month more of winter but I
think we have had our share.
What a phun month it has been. We had a great crowd of
hardy Parrot Heads at Toon’s in February for the meeting
in spite of the weather. Rick and Rob entertained all the
dancers and we picked up four new members. Ponies ran
slowly so the race was top notch. What a phun night
On Valentines weekend we had thirty-six crazy fans meet
at the Downstream Casino for a concert from The Little
River Band. Man, were they good. My brother from
Wichita brought Wilson and Little Ho for the outing and
we got pictures with all the Parrot Heads and The Little
River Band too!! Most of us donated to the casino so we
can make sure they are open next time we want to go.
This month’s meeting is at Cartoon’s again and the whole
Cruize Control Band will be the entertainment!! Bring a
guest and let shake it up. See you then.
Stay warm.
Phlock Squawk
INDEX
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
9
11
12
One More Completed Trip Around
Officers
Capt. Bud’s Words of Wisdom
Index
Hard Rock Casino, Tulsa, Ok
Birthdays
Anniversaries
What the Phlock is Going On
Monthly Membership Meeting
Little River Band Concert
Editorial
Help Wanted
Panama City Rendezvous
Five Rules
Drink of the Month
Jimmy’s Tour Dates
Recipe of the Month
Staying positive in challenging times
Events at Panama City in April
More Photos LRB Concert
Parrots of the Caribbean Cruise
Stars Fell on Alabama
Clinton County Parrot Heads Spring Fling
Membership Application
Matt Hogan, Belmont Vinyards
Annual State of the Phlock OMPH for 2013
Web Site Statistics
There be Monsters
the Sun
Bill Stoll… 2
Tad Mitchell… 2
Bill Page… 2
Bill Penland… 3
Paula Wilken…. 4
Tim McKnabb
5
Bill Wood… 13
Brenda Fender… 18
Doug James… 19
Rick Shirrell… 21
Susan Cooper… 22
Gale Edwards… 25
Keedy Smith… 29
ANNIVERSARIES
Yes those are snowflakes in the picture. It may
have been cold on the outside but things were
hot on the inside of the Hard Rock Hotel and
Casino of Tulsa, Oklahoma. The hotel is actually
in Catoosa, Oklahoma at 777 W. Cherokee
Street just east of Tulsa at the entrance – or exitof the Will Rogers Turnpike. I-44 skirts the
hotel parking lot so it is pretty hard to miss even
in a snow storm.
Hard Rock Hotel and Casino venue is sleek,
stylish and absolutely packed with modern
amenities including an 18-hole championship
golf course. Dine at the “Buffet”, or Toby
Continued page 5
2|Page
Patty Hays… 3-6-2004
9 years
Scruffy… 3-13-2009
4 years
Doug James… 3-4-2010
3 years
If you are on or nearing Medicare you need to watch this video. Click
following link:
GETTING THE MEDICARE SHAFT
Phlock Squawk
What The Phlock is Going On?
Karaoke for entertainment.
February 2014
21—22 Clinton County Parrot Heads
“Spring Fling”
21—OMPH Bored Meeting—Big Whiskey’s,
1440 W. Republic Rd.
March 2014
6 — OMPH General Meeting— Cartoons —
25, 26, & 27— Panama City Parrot Head
Club Rendezvous (See Page 4 & 6)
Entertainment provided by the entire Cruize Control Band
— Hosted by Gene and Chelli Hatch
17 — OMPH Bored Meeting
Whiskey’s, 1440 W. Republic Rd.
—
Big
20—23 Stars Fell on Alabama. See page 7
April 2014
May 2014
1 — OMPH General Meeting—TBA
31 (possibly) — Birdies in Paradise Golf —
Island Green Country Club, Republic, MO —
Watch for additional Information
3 — OMPH General Meeting— KJ
Brewskies on North Packer Road. Jeff Henry
& Scott Cutbirth cooking for the club &
Ozark Mountain Parrot Heads
General Membership Meeting
Once again, on February 6, 2014 the Phlock returned to its most
stable nest at Cartoons Oyster Bar and Grill for its monthly
meeting. The attendance was in excess of fifty members which
wasn’t bad for the bitterly cold night.
Entertainment
was
again
provided
by
friends
and
members
Rick
Lamb and Rob
Davis of the band
Phinatics doing a
wonderful job as
always.
A drawing for
door prizes was
Continued on page 10
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Ozark Mountain Parrot Heads Valentine
trip to Downstream Casino, in Joplin, to
be entertained by the Little River Band
February 15, 2014
Little River Band was formed in Melbourne, Australia in 1975. It was
originally a blend of musicians who had enjoyed success in other
Australian acts. Their new focus was to get airplay on American radio,
and they achieved that goal with good songwriting, powerful vocals,
and guitar harmonies. They immediately claimed their place as one of
the great vocal bands of the ‘70s…and the ‘80s.
Between 1976 and 1983, chart success in America includes the
following singles: It’s a Long Way There, Help Is on Its Way, Happy
Anniversary, Reminiscing, Lady, Cool Change, Lonesome Loser, The
Continued page 7
Phlock Squawk
Editorial
Help Wanted
By Richard Weter
Compiled from “Real Age” articles.
Feeling Hungry for some friendship?
Go Ahead, Go Back for Seconds
Debating whether to take a second helping of together time with friends
or family today? Go ahead, go back for more.
Research shows that being socially connected is about as good for your
body as quitting smoking would be if you smoked. That's some pretty
powerful bonding!
Keep Your Friends Close
Yep, researchers reviewed more than 148 different studies and found that
the more socially connected people had double the survival odds of less
social folks. Their analysis compiled data from more than 300,000 older
adults and the results helped prove that supportive relationships are like
good medicine for heart, body, and soul.
See Editorial Page 10
OMPH is looking for Phriendly Phaces to
host/hostess at a meeting. You MUST be
able to arrive by 5:15PM the day of the
meeting. Duties include; welcoming all
members and having them “sign in”,
handing out raffle tickets, and helping
visitors. Host volunteers will receive 5
FREE tickets to the Pony Races! If you are
interested in being a host or hostess at a
meeting, please contact Capt. Bud at
omphcaptainbud@gmail.com
Panama City Parrot Head
Club Rendezvous
“BAREFOOTIN’ AT THE BEACH”
The Panama City Parrot Head
Club, will hold their 9th annual
Parrot Head Rendezvous on
April 25th, 26th and 27th 2014!
HOTEL or CONDO reservations can be made at Legacy by the Sea or Beachbreak by
the Sea. The Parrot Head rate does require a 2 night minimum. For reservations call
888-627- 0625 and ask for Sara, Tammy or Samantha. Tell them you are a Parrot
Head and at that point the reservationist can give rates and availability.
Hotel/Condo reservations with the Parrot Head Rendezvous rates can only be made
by phone.
There will be a great selection of Trop Rock bands from all over our country
beginning April 25th 2014! Your favorites will be serenading us with the tones of
Trop Rock over the most beautiful beaches in the world. The 2014 lineup just might
be the BEST EVER! To register or get more information go to
http://www.panamacityphc.org/ rendezvous2014/index.html.
“PUT YOUR TOES IN THE WATER, _ _ _ IN THE SAND…COLD BEER IN YOUR
HAND” AND LISTEN TO THE TROPICAL ROCK SOUNDS of one of our many
bands that will be performing on our Beach Stage with the Backdrop of the Beautiful
Gulf of Mexico, so come join us. Put YOUR OWN PERSONAL Beach Chair in the
Sugar White Sand with YOUR OWN PERSONAL small cooler. Walk out of
your BEACH FRONT ROOM and all you do is enjoy the Blue Skies, White Sand,
Clear Warm Waters of the Gulf of Mexico and a Cheeseburger in Paradise Saturday
at the venue on the Beach. Make New Phriends or revisit with Old Phriends at this
.
great 3 day Beach Party
Still Only $65.00….
The Party actually starts Thursday with our Goody Bag Stuffing Party…this event
has become a great start to our 3 Day Beach Party…just ask some of the Kentucky
Club Phriends. Friday at 11:00 AM Meet N’ Greet with our Phriends at
Margaritaville. The Music and Beach Party starts at 1:00 PM Friday and goes until
Sunday.
Conch Republic Band
Sauce Boss
*
*
Jimmy and the Parrots
Tall Paul and Ramajay Intercoastal
Dave Hertzog’s Island Time Band
John Reno
*
Dani Hoy
*
Captain Josh
Steve Hopper
We are filling up FAST so don’t delay, we are limited to 550 registrations, Go to our
web site www.panamacityphc.org and click on the“Rendezvous 2014 registration is
Open” then click on “Register” and follow the instructions. The next thing is
the Hotels; Legacy by the Sea or Beachbreak by the Sea: Parrot Head rate there
is a 2 night minimum. For reservations call 888-627-0625 and ask for Sara, Tammy
or Samantha. Feel free to email me; president@panamacityphc.org
Click here for Rendezvous
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*
Phlock Squawk
See more page 13
Hard Rock from page 2
Keith’s “I Love This Bar and Grill”. Visit the “Flip Side” for quick
food anytime or enjoy fine dining at McGill’s Steak House on the 19 th,
floor with a view of the surrounding countryside.
Rock out with top-shelf acts in the new theater “The Joint” where
there’s not a bad seat in the house. Afterwards you can unwind at
“Center Bar”, enjoy a great band at “Riffs” or dance the night away at
the “C-Note” or “Cabin Creek”. If gaming is your cup of tea then enjoy
an action-packed extravaganza in the 24-hour casino.
Meeting and events at Hard Rock Hotel are out of this world with
35000 sq feet of meeting space and enough catering options to impress
a room full of rock stars. They even offer complimentary airport
transportation if you chose to fly in.
If you are planning on staying, and who wouldn’t, be sure to get your
Cherokee Star Rewards card beforehand for sizable discounts on rooms
during the week, the golf course and some meals.
A word on smoking: While there is a non-smoking section most of the
Casino allows it but excellent filtration keeps things to a minimum.
While dining areas and “The Joint” are strictly non-smoking there is a
place for those that miss the hazy atmosphere of yesteryear. Wander
into the area of “Cabin Creek”, a unique tent building that was the
second portion of the Casino added 18 years ago as a temporary
addition but is still hanging in there today. Take a deep breath and
journey back to the glory days of yesteryear. Ahhh…(cough – cough)
the good old days.
FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO
FOLLOW FOR A HAPPY LIFE:
1. It's important to have a woman
who helps at home, cooks from
time to time, cleans up, and has a
job.
2. It's important to have a woman
who can make you laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman
who you can trust, and doesn't lie
to you.
4. It's important to have a woman
who is good in bed, and likes to be
with you.
5. It's very, very important that
these four women do not know
each other.
And what took us to Tulsa for a blustery February weekend?
Recipe for “Soup of the Day”
Mixed fresh every Thursday at Cody’s South
Bar and Grill, 1440 E. Republic RD,
Springfield, MO 417-883-0253
This is not a required Parrot Head activity but if you
are looking for a place to relax and listen to some
excellent “Mellow” music stop in.
(On nights other than club meetings of course)
A “Dancing with the Stars” review with Derek Hough and Chelsea
Hightower and of course these two lovely escorts.
And you thought there was nothing to do in Oklahoma!!! 
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Good food, adult beverages and a postage stamp
sized dance floor makes life intimate.
Soup of the Day stars Terra Lynn and Jeff Ward
from Bad Habit fame and Scott Casteel a long
time Springfield favorite.
Phlock Squawk
Jimmy’s Tour Dates
Staying Positive During
Challenging Times
Video of the Month: Click Below
The Fork
Think more about what you have as
opposed to what you don’t have.
In tough times it is really easy to obsess about
the things we haven’t got or the things that we
are at risk of losing. There really isn’t much to
be gained from this and the more you focus on
these negatives the more likely they are to
become reality. It is much better to live a life
of gratitude for the things you do have in your
life.
Warning: Hanky Alert!
More Photos from Little
River Band Concert
February 15, 2014
Often the people with the least in the way of
material possessions have the most in the way
of spiritual prosperity. Life always gives us
more of the things we focus on – so we need
to learn to be far more grateful for what we
have than regretful for what we don’t have.
Check back here during the following weeks
for some ideas that may help you to stay
positive. 
Trivia Question
The Latitude and Longitude on
page one has been changed.
The first person to email me the old
and new actual ground locations, of
both, prior to our next meeting gets a
free drink. “Editor”
6|Page
Continued page 11
Phlock Squawk
LRB from page 3
Night Owls, Take It Easy On Me, Man On Your
Mind, We Two, and The Other Guy.
Little River Band is considered to be one of
Australia’s most significant bands. Worldwide
album and CD sales now top 30 million. They
also set a record for having Top 10 hits for 6
consecutive years…the first band to achieve that
mark. And according to BMI, Reminiscing has
garnered rare status with over 5 million airplays
on America radio…and Lady is close behind
with over 4 million airplays. LRB was rightfully
inducted into the Australian Recording Industry
Association (ARIA) Hall of Fame at the 18th
Annual ARIA Music Awards of 2004.
If you have followed the band over the years
you might notice a difference in the overall
sound of the music and the look of the band.
There is a reason for that. There is not a single
member of the original group singing in the
current band.
The band's original members were: lead
vocals Glenn Shorrock, acoustic guitar and
vocals Graeham Goble, rhythm guitar and
vocals Beeb Birtles, lead guitar Ric Formosa,
bass guitar Roger McLachlan, and drums Derek
Pellicci and Goble was the only original member
born in Australia. The music and lyrics for most
of the group's compositions were primarily
written by Goble and Shorrock, with
Continued page 8
March
20 - 23
Click here and follow the stars for more information
7|Page
Phlock Squawk
Continued from page 7
contributions from Birtles, Briggs and Pellicci.
The closest to an original member is Wayne Nelson, lead singer,
and Bass player.
After a Chicago band
named Koala split up,
Wayne moved to LA in
1978 where he joined Jim
Messina's band. Messina
and Little River Band
toured together in '79. LRB
asked Nelson to join for
their next tour of Australia,
Europe, and America.
30 years later, Nelson has seen many musicians and singers come in
and out of the LRB family. His view on all those lineup changes...
"In all these years with LRB, I've sung, played, and rearranged our
music with many different lineups, each with a different
interpretation and style. The current group of guys is unique in that
we all cut our teeth on the same types of music when we were
young. We have the utmost respect for the history of the band, and
for what Little River Band songs mean to our fans…but we always
look for a way to bring something new to the stage. We have fun
exploring new ways to deliver the songs - recognizable and
powerful, with new twists that will delight those fans who like to
listen deep and analyze...
Some of the ladies’s of the OMPH waiting for the concert to
start… But wait who is that in the back ground?
Some of the men from OMPH
and down front isWilson Broom!
The current lineup brings new energy and arrangements to the
classic hits, making new memories for the audience out of each live
performance. It’s always fun to watch as people are swept up by the
show’s vitality and the volume of hits from LRB’s history. You’ll
see plenty of people mouthing the words… “I love this song…I
forgot it was one of Little River Band’s hits!””
Janelle, Brenda,
Stacye and Kelly
sharing a moment with
Little River Band
keyboard player, Chris
Marion, after the
concert.
After college, Chris moved to Nashville and began his playing
career, garnering nominations for 4 Dove awards from the Gospel
Music Assoc. In 1992, he joined with partner Danny Myrick to
form Western Flyer and later worked with artists such as Garth
Brooks and The Oak Ridge Boys. In early 2005, he entered the
Little River Band family, and has recorded 5 CDs with the band
since then. 
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Phlock Squawk
Down front at LRB
concert
9|Page
Phlock Squawk
Meeting from page 3
held and then the trumpets sounded for the running of the pony’s.
Annaversaries and Birthdays were
announced. The two in attendance,
along with the perpetual birthday
boy, Chris Reed were Debbie
Duffy and Leslie Sawyer. 
Editorial from page 4
Friends with Benefits
Having good friends and close family in your corner helps you
live longer by making it easier to blow off stress and weather
tough times (assuming those relationships are solid and not
toxic). What's more, feeling more invested in relationships
often motivates people to take better care of themselves.
All areas of health are interconnected. They all need energy to
function. You have a limited amount of energy available.
Holding a grudge requires mental energy. It robs you of the
energy you need for staying healthy in all areas. The bigger or
more intense the grudge, the more energy it uses. If that grudge
is part of a larger scenario that includes other grudges, maybe
some general anger and frustration, it can consume so much of
your energy that your ability to function well in your life is
depleted.
Your defenses against infection will be lowered. Eating and
digesting the food you need to stay healthy doesn't happen and
you may become anemic. It becomes hard to concentrate so
you get passed over for promotion at work. Anything that
consumes your energy without being positively productive is
detrimental to your health.
Mary Bertalott and Bill Woods, Soon to
be married at Margaritaville in
Pensacola, Florida on April 23, 2014.
Feeling Nostalgic? It's Good for You!
Ahh, the good old days... That place we like to look whenever
we think the present just doesn't quite measure up. But looking
back once in a while may actually be good for you. In one
study, a little nostalgia actually helped people feel less lonely
and more connected to others.
Jim Shapiro and Bella the Wonder Dog.
How to Beat Back the Lonelies
Everyone feels lonely from time to time. Family members and
friends may live far away. Or a hectic lifestyle may leave you
feeling isolated and make it hard to nurture relationships. So
take time to comfort yourself by jotting down memories of
supportive friends, favorite places, and unforgettable events
(birthdays, weddings, vacations, etc.) from the past.
The Friend Factor
In addition to thinking about favorite people, places, and events
in your past, spend a little time working on the present, too.
You need a real social life to reduce stress and make your Real
Age younger. Here's how you can get the most out of time
spent with others:
Make a 'Happy Friend' Date
This weekend, have lunch with a good-natured pal. It could
have far-reaching benefits for your mental health.
Lana Cutbirth with Daughter and OMPH guest Tracy Powell 
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Research confirms -- and quantifies -- it. Your chances of
Continued page 11
Phlock Squawk
Editorial from page 10
becoming happy increase by at least 15 percent if someone in your
immediate social circle is happy.
Ripple Effect
Yep, it seems that happy people can spread their feel-good vibes far and
wide; the same way a ripple spreads through a pond. Not only do
immediate friends matter, but friends of friends, too -- more so if they
happen to live close by.
Compassionate Caveat
Of course, the study findings don't mean you should ditch unhappy
friends or family members. Instead, remember that the road to happy is
a two-way street. You may spread happiness to downtrodden pals by
feeling upbeat yourself. 
Photos Continued from page 6
LRBand
along
with
Wilson,
Little Ho
and Bill
Page
Continued page 13
Annual Renewal Form for the Ozark Mountain
Parrot Heads for the year of 2014
Membership as of December 31, 2013: 149
Total amount of money raised and donated to charity for the total year of
2013: $35,092.00
Total man (woman) hours contributed to community/environmental
projects for the year 2013: 1240
January 18, 2013: Our club collected $233 in donations sent to The
Linus Project. This was to benefit the survivors of the Sandy Hook
Elementary tragedy.
March 23, 2013: We held a bowl-athon for the Special Olympics,
Republic MO Chapter. We raised $4036, after expenses donated
$3306.77. Location: Battlefield Lanes, Springfield MO.
May 27, 2013: Our club collected $450 designated for OK tornado
relief. Money was sent to: Copa Cares Oklahoma City OK
June 22, 2013: Annual Birdies Golf Tournament. Proceeds benefit Care
to Learn t he Republic School Chapter. We raised $14,220, after
expenses donated $11,024. Location: Isla nd Green Golf Course,
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Republic MO
August 16-17, 2013: Phlock at the Rock benefiting The
Alzheimer’s Assoc. We raised $15,480 and after expenses donated
$10, 640
October 5, 2013: Sqwacktoberphest. Annual event held by Rick
Lamb. Members brought non perishable food items for Ozark Food
Harvest. We donated 112pounds's of food.
October 12, 2013: Beach Ball Bash. This event was hosted by the
area Shriners . We were in charge of the crazy hat contest and
raised $192. The charity was the Springfield Shriners Building
Fund.
Dec 10, 2013: OMPH club members donated cash and needed
items during the holidays for 2 chosen charities: Cents of Pride, a
local charity to help area elementary school children- we raised
$481 in cash & purchased items.
Our 2nd charity was C.A.R.E.- a no kill animal shelter ,we raised
$478 in cash & donated items. The items were delivered to the
shelter at: 1328-A West Sunshine, Springfield, MO 65807 and
2012 W. Garton Road, Ozark, MO 65721 Phone: (417) 875-6565
Website: http://carerescue.org 
Phlock Squawk
There be monsters out there: Author unknown
I grew up on the west side of Springfield, Missouri. If you look on the left part of
Springfield’s gridded streets you will find the map of my childhood. It’s where I rode my
bike, learned to drive, and fell in love.
It’s the place where on Tuesday, according to police, a man named Craig Wood—a public
school employee—kidnapped Hailey Owens. Witnesses say Wood yanked her off a
neighborhood street, drove her to his house, and shot her in the base of the skull.
Hailey Owens was ten years old and she lived less than ten minutes away from my
childhood home.
The crime and its impact are the kind of things we, as a society, call “unimaginable.” For
parents like me, a random kidnapping and murder of a child is the one thing we cannot
bare to consider. My hometown—though large and spread out across a big county—is
suffering a kind of collective grief I’ve never seen. The crime has left an entire community
mourning and helpless to do anything about it.
That twisted place in everyone’s stomach is the physical manifestation of the question,
“What can I do?”
My late father had an answer that I learned just in time. I don’t know how he came about
it, but I feel like it’s because he had seen some of the worst of the world. I don’t know, nor
do I really want to.
For the past 48 hours, I’ve been thinking about my dad’s advice. I’ve been thinking about
the west side of Springfield, that sweet little girl, and what happened to her.
We call it unimaginable, but that’s not quite right. People my age have been imagining it
as long as we can remember.
ADAM
In the summer of 1981, I was seven years old. Everybody I didn’t know was a monster
who crept out of Hollywood, Florida and spread out like a virus of fear across the country.
Every man with a “different” face was the creature that took six-year-old Adam Walsh and
left him in a way a boy shouldn’t be left. Back then, one only needed to say the name
“Adam” to make any parent’s heart stop for half a second.
That monster went everywhere. He made sure kids’ faces ended up on the sides of milk
cartons. There was no forgetting he existed. What we called unimaginable was actually a
part of our collective imaginations every time we rode our bike a little too far from the
house. When a van parked at the end of our neighborhood road and the man inside called
for my friend to come closer, the fear could’ve lit the whole neighborhood.
Everybody was supposed to be afraid when I was a kid. It was part of the culture. The
President told us the Russians wanted to kill us. The First Lady told us drugs wanted to kill
us. Our milk told us somebody was killing us.
And yet, we played, we ran, we stayed out until dusk, and we defied the monsters in the
only way we knew how. We ran sweat lines through the dirt on our faces, and we
pretended our mothers weren’t scared. Our parents pretended they weren’t afraid, and
somehow we all survived. Apparently, there weren’t enough monsters to get us all.
Living through it without losing any friends to the monster was a blessing, but it also
numbed the part of my brain that kept watch. Surviving the years of fear was enough for a
man of my generation to forget that the monsters were still out there.
UNTOUCHABLE
I couldn’t figure out why Janice was crying.
I barely knew her. I’d worked at the TV station for just eight days. She was one of my new
bosses. Now, on a beautiful 80-degree day in April of 1999, Janice was in tears at her desk.
For the better part of the next few weeks, the story of the Columbine High School
massacre would dominate our news. It would affect me as it would affect anybody, but in
those days, Janice’s tears made no real sense.
Columbine was halfway across the country. It was an admittedly terrible story, but Janice
was a professional who had seen and heard enough death that more tragedy shouldn’t
mean breaking down in the middle of the newsroom. I would learn that it was not Janice’s
failing, but her humanity, one that I lacked. I was 25 years old and unmarried. My then-
12 | P a g e
fiancée and I had a couple responsibilities: the rent money and the care of a 13-pound mutt.
We didn’t cry. It simply didn’t touch us.
Two years later, I stood outside on a March morning. It was 30 degrees and dark, and I
shivered as I looked at a nice little suburban house where a man named Michael Hiderbrand
had killed his wife and two children. It was among the worst cases I ever covered. Two
people I cared for deeply were within a stiff breeze of getting blown up by Hilderbrand’s
improvised building-sized bomb in downtown Greer, SC. As sad as I was during the entire
story, it never occurred to me to feel anything other than base-level disgust and professional
responsibility. Nothing more. No matter how much hell I saw, I felt untouchable.
As odd as it seems today, I still remember looking into Hilderbrand’s backyard and
thinking, “I wonder what’s going to happen to those dogs.”
THE DINER
So, imagine me in a diner. A clean one in a safe part of town where the pancakes are pretty
much the best you’ll ever eat and the waitresses are the kind who consider it a profession.
My son is not yet in grade school, but he knows he is among men and wants to prove it. I’m
with my good friend and his son, a world-wise fourth-grader. Both of the kids need to go to
the bathroom. My son wants to go with his friend, and they don’t need any help from their
dads.
It’s no big deal for the big kid to cross the 100 or so feet to the other side of the place. He’s
done it by himself many times before. It’s no big deal. He’ll keep an eye on my boy.
But as I watch my son weave through the brunch crowd, my chest tightens up and my
mouth gets dry. I lose all track of what my friend is saying, and I feel sick. My eyes are on
the other side of the room. I’m not hungry anymore. It’s a foreign feeling, like becoming a
father has somehow triggered some hormone that makes fear real again.
Too much time passes. I’m on my feet and making for the bathroom like it’s a house on fire.
I know for a fact something is wrong. It’s a dad’s intuition.
And of course…everything is fine.
In retrospect, I probably gave my kid just enough time to find his zipper before bolting after
him. It’s funny now, but funny in a way that still makes me sick to my stomach, because it
was a reminder of the monster I hadn’t thought about since I was a kid. It was a monster
that had been hibernating until I was old enough to understand what real fear really felt like.
DAD’S ADVICE, HAILEY’S LEGACY
This week, if police are correct, that monster took the form of Craig Wood, a mandolin
player in a little bluegrass band, and the type of guy no one expected to be the kind of
creature he apparently turned out to be. He’s in jail now, and there is little chance he’ll see a
child again. There is precious little comfort in that.
When something terrible happens to a child, there is the gut reaction to fight. We look for
someone bigger to blame, someone we can hurt worse than we can hurt the man we’ll lock
in a cage. Sometimes the fight can take on real meaning, but in a case like this, we’re left
only with a mug shot and the unsettling understanding that he is only today’s face of a fear
we can’t control.
That’s really the point of it. Random kidnappings are exceptionally infrequent. They are
lightning strikes without a god to blame for them. They are preciously-rare reminders that
we have reason to be afraid.
That’s really the worst thing: despite all statistics to the contrary, we have reason to be
afraid, and there is nothing we can do to change that. No amount of legislation, no focus on
mental health, no Neighborhood Watch is going to change the fact that we will always have
to be afraid.
And so, helpless, we ask, “What can I do?”
I look at my children—the sole reason I can live as I do—and I want to see them run. I want
to see them smile because they are independent and can do things on their own. I leave them
at schools. I let them run at the pool. I try to let them build their lives without building walls
around them. I sit in muted terror and hope there aren’t enough monsters to get us all.
What can I do? I can heed my dad’s advice:
Make sure your children know you love them every day.
It sounds like simple advice, but in a world where we live in constant fear of what might
happen, there is peace in knowing your child knows he is loved right now.
Today, I’m still thinking about Hailey and what her death will mean for her family.
There is very little comfort in it, but there is this:
Thousands of children are hearing their parents say I love you a little louder and a
little more often, and that’s because of a little girl named Hailey from my hometown.
Phlock Squawk
Continued from page 4
Panama City Parrot Head Club Rendezvous
“BAREFOOTIN’ AT THE BEACH”
Music and PHun will start Friday with a Welcome
Party at Margaritaville in the morning and music on the
beach at the Barefoot Beach Club starting at 1 with
Steve Hopper, Dave Herzog's Island Time and Conch
Republic. Saturday get ready for more great Trop Rock
tunes from Dave, Capt Josh, the Sauce Boss and
Jimmy and the Parrots! The party keeps on hopping
Sunday with John Reno, Tall Paul and Ramajay
Intercoastal and winding up with the fabulous Dani
Hoy!!
Other PHun will include the yearly raffle, spectacular
silent auction, jello shooter and boat drink contests,
tent decorating, 50/50s, hat parade, cheeseburger lunch
and many, many more surprises and ParrotHead
Games!!
Check
out
the
web
site
atwww.panamacityphc.org for registration and info on
our host hotels!
Three days of PHun and Sun on the most beautiful
beaches in the world!! Come on down!
Photos Continued from page 11
13 | P a g e
Phlock Squawk