The Best TG Mag Just Keeps getting Better!!!

N
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VOLUME 2
ISSUE 5
AUG/SEPT
2007
“ The Best TG Mag Just
Keeps getting Better!!!
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66
35 43
Features
Regulars
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29
43
66
2
4
7
55
69
82
96
104
108
116
118
122
124
Rethinking Gender
Femininity
Depression
Breast Of Friends
LIFESTYLE
28 Bad Girls!
34 The Something we are not (poem)
2
Contents
Letters to Editor
I Think , Therefore I BLOG
How Many Candles?
Fashion - The Futures Bright
Amayi’s Film Review
Across Golden Pond
Hororscope
As Voted - Goth Chick
Conversion Tables
Born to Shop - Adverts
And Now the end is near
Rogues Gallery
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76 43
B Girls
AD
eautiful
nd
29
isabled
28
108
51
true life
50 Lil Tony!
64 WANTED!!
65 Nuff Said!
81 WHY???
6 Play Safe
35 Personal Profile (eyebrows and lashes)
41 One Girls Story - Wendy Tarbit
60 Centrefold - Alison St. John
76 In the Papers
89 One Girls Story - Carolyne Grundy
103 Donna Queen - Ad
competitions
23 “Here Comes Summer” Competition
38 “French Maids” Competition WINNER
51 “Snazzy Sox” Competition
99 Tammy’s Torments - Quiz
101 “ Your in the Army Now” Competition
Winner
115 Quiz Answers
just for fun
10 Women You’d love to see fat!!
33 GULP!!
40 ?!!!!
3
to
the
Editor
My dear Mandy.
I just finished reading the latest edition of Narcisse and would like to start by saying thank you very
much for publishing my story. It warms the heart to see something one creates in “print”. I would be
interested in knowing what your other readers thought of it, if they should happen to mention it. If there
are other topics you would like stories for, do not hesitate to tell me, and I may be able to come up with
something.
I don’t mean to sound critical, but I noticed you used my male name as author. I assumed it may be
because you weren’t sure what my fem name is. If it’s alright with you, I would prefer the use of Rikki
Wood on the subsequent articles of mine that you may find fit to print.
Also, on the topic of sounding critical, when I commented on the colours of the pages, I meant that I like
the idea of coloured pages, only that some pages had printing almost the same colour as the background.
I didn’t want to make it sound like I wanted white pages.
Now, having said all that, (whew), I want to say that I did enjoy reading it. As always there are a lot of
informative stuff (good word) along with the various articles. You have done it again, girl.
That’s all for now. Until next time, may your makeup never run and your seams remain always straight.
Love, Rikki
erm.....sorry.....sorry...sorry...and...um.....sorry?
Hi babes,
I’ve just read the whole of the mag and it’s brilliant. Very informative
and well thought out. I know what the persons on about when they
mentioned the text colour, I have trouble reading yellow on a white
background. The centre fold is very good and it was a good story, most
of the pictures I saw where great
Well, done again and the mag and see you soon hunni..
luv ya kaz xxx
Ta luv, I know what you mean about the yellow and white, but I was
just reproducing someone elses work (wonder if they got complaints?)
4
You are still (don’t ever change) an adorable spokesperson for all of us TGs out there.
I love your Narcisse Magazine, and just can’t imagne where you find the time to put it
all together. You are truely an inspiration.
Heather
Neither do I babes, but when you love doing something as much as
I love doing Narcisse its a pleasure xxx
Dear Mandy,
Thank you so very much for posting my comment in the Mirror Mirror
section of this months magazine. It just brought tears to my eyes
that you would pick my humble thoughts in this lovely magazine. I
thank you a million times for that and for this wonderful way for
us to express ourselves and seek compassion and love from our
sisters all over the world. I am so happy to have founbd you as a
friend and I always adore your ever lovely pix. You are a great
person for doing this for us and I, for one, am eternally greatful.
Thank you again for chosing my thoughts to appear in this month’s issue.
Love, hugs, and kisses, your friend and sister, ericalynn
And its comments from girls like you that make it all worthwhile
babes, it was, and always will be, an honour to have all you girls write
for Narcisse xxxxx
Dear Mandy and coworkers:
I just read some of your issues of the Journal with name of self
contemplation Narcisse, and I have to recognize that the blend of
information is outstanding, diverse, out of the cliche, without being a
Magazine about T-women.
SIncerely my congratulation about your wonderful work.
Marcelo Mass
5
TANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IM
P
L
A
Y
S
A
F
E
ROTECT YOUR IDENTITY
Do not reveal information which could expose
your identity until you are confident that it is safe. Be cautious revealing your name, address, phone
number, email address, place of work, website address, etc. Do not allow anyone to pressure you into
revealing details before you are ready. If they are overly aggressive in asking for identifying information,
cut off communication. Do not feel obligated to be more open than you are comfortable being. Contact the
administrator of the website if you have concerns.
ET SOMEONE KNOW WHERE YOU ARE GOING
Be sure that someone knows where you’re going and when to expect you back.
LWAYS TAKE A PHONE AND YOUR FARE HOME
If you have
a cellular phone, take it along, and have a friend call periodically. You may wish to take along some form of
personal protection just in case. If someone tries to get you into a situation you are not comfortable with,
don’t hesitate refuse, leave, or do whatever is necessary to protect yourself. Nothing that anyone else does
can obligate you to compromise your own safety.
OUR SAFER IN A CROWD
member, there is safety in numbers!
intimate one on one meetings put you at a huge risk, re-
TAY IN PUBLIC PLACES erm...................DUH!!!!
VOID TOO MUCH ALCOHOL
All drinks can be spiked, but it only takes a few too many
drinks for you to lose your inhibitions and agree to things you will later regret, a clear head nearly always lead
to a clear conscience.
EELINGS MAY SAVE YOUR LIFE, TRUST INTUITION If you feel
uneasy about someone you’ve met online, err on the side of caution. It’s probably better to miss a few good
experiences than to have one bad one.
NJOY!!! 99% of the time you will be safe and have a great time, but for the sake of that 1% always err
on the side of caution, remember, if they are serious they will arrange to meet again, if they dont , it wasnt
worth the risk! xxxx6
6
T IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPOR
PO IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTAN
TANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPOR
I think therefore I
BLOG
Well then, here we go again, everyone alright? gooood , glad to
hear it. Now then......
First things first.....who’s got it? huh? Come on , I know one of
you is hiding the damned thing! and its got beyond a joke. Now I
know our Government ( for use of a better word! ) keeps going on
about Global warming but I dont think theres any need for some
bright spark to hide the sun to teach us a lesson.
Whatever next? we complain about the state of Rain Forests and
next thing you know WHHOOOSH! all the pencils will go missing!
Its just not funny any more. Dont get me wrong, we catch sight
of the blighter from time to time, usually glinting off the lakes that
used to be the M5, so we know you’ve got it, just give it back, its
our turn..........please......the fire brigade have banned us from wearing stilettos in the life-rafts when they come and rescue us, so its
got BEYOND A JOKE!!!
Enough said, we’ll close our eyes and count to 10 , just put it
back xx
What next? Oh yeah, Sparkles, didnt win a damned thing , so
might as well throw in the towel, I’m sorry, but I’m just not the airkissing variety of TG, so that loses me marks right away, got a nice
sash to remember it by though , so not a complete loss, and got to
meet ( nowhere as many as I would have hoped!!!!) some of you
lot. Christ your an odd bunch HEHEHEHEHEHE sorry, only kidding, your all gorgeous and I hated you with a passion xxxxx
7
As for pics, where are they???? I’ve not seen ONE of me on the
stage, so if anyone has seen some , give me the link , please, I know I
looked ghastly, but its something to laugh at later.....................much........
much later hehehe.
Now then , as some of you know, I dont just dabble in the highflying world of fashion, literature and dodgy jokes.....ohhhhh no, I also
work in a super-market ( how the mighty fall! boohoo) , keeps me in
shoes, thats all I’ll say on the matter, but MY GOD do you get some
weird customers!!!
Apparently ,I’ve heard it said, you can tell an awful lot from a
persons shopping basket, and , quite frankly , if thats the case, then
God help the Human Race!!!
Odd, is being kind. Certifiable is nearer the mark. Like the stickthin 20something single females basket - tomatoes, celery, cous-cous,
whole-grain-baked-to-death, glutenfree, wheat-free, yeast-free, tastefree, e-f-g-h-i-j & k number free bread.....................and 3 kilos of triple
choc cookies.....oh and a small bottle of water! Who’s kidding who
here?
Next comes the young mum. She does her best , bless her, one
snotty nosed miscreant in the trolley, 2 more in tow, £200’s worth of
ready meals, 48 cans of Super Strength beer for the old man and a litre
of Vodka, 200 B & H and a copy of Womans Weekly for when the kids
are in bed. ( hehehe It’s true!!)
Behind her are the eastern European Couple, you know the
ones, deeply in love one minute, but by aisle 4 are trying to flick their
front teeth out at each-other. Invariably their basket is filled with Danish pastries, water, and 18 different types of sausage- DONT EVEN GO
THERE!!!!!!!
Once they are dispatched through checkout, gazing into eachothers eyes, up steps SWB!!!! Single White Bloke - A singularly strange
creature this one, usually around 38 years of age, porky and slightly
sweating. Hints of Eau de Lager and week old Pizza emit from this
beast, clad in low-slung jeans and whatever football top mummy
ironed for him that day, his basket is a mish mash of a wandering
mind.
King-size extra hot chilli pot noodle, 6 pack of Coke, Giant bag
of Dorittos and a raft-sized bar or Dairy Milk. Everything a growing lad
needs for an afternoon on the PlayStation!
8
Austere Gentleman next. Smart, but casual, hair immaculate,
smells faintly of Pharmacy own brand After Shave and pile cream.
Smiles politely then produces a basket containing a box of tissues, catfood, a bottle of House red, a Frank Sinatra DVD and the latest copy of
“Hardcore BDSM - Handbook for the Discerning Wannabe Sex Slave
( Second Edition)” Hey-Ho!!!
You see what I mean? and thats just in the first half an hour!!!! It’s
enough to make your hair curl, you couldnt make it up!
So just remember , next time your paying for you weekly shopping, not only can we tell an AWFUL lot about you just from what is in
your basket, spare a thought for the cashier, check their clear polished
nails and hint of make-up........you never know......
It could be me!!!!
Hugs
Mandy xxx
9
Woman’s
o
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l
d
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Women you’d love to see FAT!!
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12
(Rethinking) Gender
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(Rethinking) Gender
A growing number of Americans are taking their
private struggles with their identities into the public
realm. How those who believe they were born with
the wrong bodies are forcing us to re-examine what it
means to be male and female.
Growing up in Corinth, Miss., J. T. Hayes had A legacy to attend to. His dad was a well-known
race-car driver and Hayes spent much of his childhood tinkering in the family’s greasy garage,
learning how to design and build cars. By the age of 10, he had started racing in his own right.
Eventually Hayes won more than 500 regional and national championships in go-kart, midget
and sprint racing, even making it to the NASCAR Winston Cup in the early ‘90s. But behind
the trophies and the swagger of the racing circuit, Hayes was harboring a painful secret: he
had always believed he was a woman. He had feminine features and a slight frame—at 5 feet
6 and 118 pounds he was downright dainty—and had always felt, psychologically, like a girl.
Only his anatomy got in the way. Since childhood he’d wrestled with what to do about it. He’d
slip on “girl clothes” he hid under the mattress and try his hand with makeup. But he knew
he’d find little support in his conservative hometown.
In 1991, Hayes had a moment of truth. He was driving a sprint car on
a dirt track in Little Rock when the car flipped end over end. “I was
trapped upside down, engine throttle stuck, fuel running all over the
racetrack and me,” Hayes recalls. “The accident didn’t scare me, but the
thought that I hadn’t lived life to its full potential just ran chill bumps
up and down my body.” That night he vowed to complete the transition
to womanhood. Hayes kept racing while he sought therapy and started
hormone treatments, hiding his growing breasts under an Ace bandage
and baggy T shirts.
Finally, in 1994, at 30, Hayes raced on a Saturday night in Memphis,
then drove to Colorado the next day for sex-reassignment surgery, selling
his prized race car to pay the tab. Hayes chose the name Terri O’Connell
and began a new life as a woman who figured
14
her racing days were over. But she had no idea what else to do.
Eventually, O’Connell got a job at the mall selling women’s handbags for
$8 an hour. O’Connell still hopes to race again, but she knows the odds
are long: “Transgendered and professional motor sports just don’t go
together.”
To most of us, gender comes as naturally as breathing. We have no
quarrel with the “M” or the “F” on our birth certificates. And, crash diets
aside, we’ve made peace with how we want the world to see us—pants or
skirt, boa or blazer, spiky heels or sneakers. But to those who consider
themselves transgender, there’s a disconnect between the sex they were
assigned at birth and the way they see or express themselves. Though
their numbers are relatively few—the most generous estimate from
the National Center for Transgender Equality is between 750,000 and
3 million Americans (fewer than 1 percent)—many of them are taking
their intimate struggles public for the first time. In April, L.A. Times
sportswriter Mike Penner announced in his column that when he returned
from vacation, he would do so as a woman, Christine Daniels. Nine states
plus Washington, D.C., have enacted antidiscrimination laws that protect
transgender people—and an additional three states have legislation
pending, according to the Human Rights Campaign. And this month the
U.S. House of Representatives passed a hate-crimes prevention bill that
included “gender identity.” Today’s transgender Americans go far beyond
the old stereotypes (think “Rocky Horror Picture Show”). They are soccer
moms, ministers, teachers, politicians, even young children. Their push
for tolerance and acceptance is reshaping businesses, sports, schools and
families. It’s also raising new questions about just what makes us male or
female.
What is gender anyway? It is certainly more than the physical details of
what’s between our legs. History and science suggest that gender is more
subtle and more complicated than anatomy. (It’s separate from sexual
orientation, too, which determines which sex we’re attracted to.) Gender
helps us organize the world into two boxes, his and hers, and gives us
a way of quickly sizing up every person we see on the street. “Gender is
a way of making the world secure,” says feminist scholar Judith Butler,
a rhetoric professor at University of California, Berkeley. Though some
scholars like Butler consider gender largely a social construct, others
increasingly see it as a complex interplay of biology, genes, hormones and
culture.
Genesis set up the initial dichotomy: “Male and female he created them.”
15
And historically, the differences between men and women in this
country were thought to be distinct. Men, fueled by testosterone, were
the providers, the fighters, the strong and silent types who brought
home dinner. Women, hopped up on estrogen (not to mention the
mothering hormone oxytocin), were the nurturers, the communicators,
the soft, emotional ones who got that dinner on the table. But as
society changed, the stereotypes faded. Now even discussing gender
differences can be fraught. (Just ask former Harvard president Larry
Summers, who unleashed a wave of criticism when he suggested,
in 2005, that women might have less natural aptitude for math and
science.) Still, even the most diehard feminist would likely agree that,
even apart from genitalia, we are not exactly alike. In many cases, our
habits, our posture, and even cultural identifiers like the way we dress
set us apart.
Now, as transgender people become more visible and challenge the
old boundaries, they’ve given voice to another debate—whether gender
comes in just two flavors. “The old categories that everybody’s either
biologically male or female, that there are two distinct categories and
there’s no overlap, that’s beginning to break down,” says Michael
Kimmel, a sociology professor at SUNY-Stony Brook. “All of those
old categories seem to be more fluid.” Just the terminology can get
confusing. “Transsexual” is an older term that usually refers to
someone who wants to use hormones or surgery to change their sex.
“Transvestites,” now more politely called “cross-dressers,” occasionally
wear clothes of the opposite sex. “Transgender” is an umbrella term
that includes anyone whose gender identity or expression differs from
the sex of their birth—whether they have surgery or not.
Gender identity first becomes an issue in early childhood, as any
parent who’s watched a toddler lunge for a truck or a doll can tell you.
That’s also when some kids may become aware that their bodies and
brains don’t quite match up. Jona Rose, a 6-year-old kindergartner in
northern California, seems like a girl in nearly every way—she wears
dresses, loves pink and purple, and bestowed female names on all her
stuffed animals. But Jona, who was born Jonah, also has a penis.
When she was 4, her mom, Pam, offered to buy Jona a dress, and she
was so excited she nearly hyperventilated. She began wearing dresses
every day to preschool and no one seemed to mind. It wasn’t easy at
first. “We wrung our hands about this every night,” says her dad, Joel.
But finally he and Pam decided to let their son live as a girl. They chose
16
a private kindergarten where Jona wouldn’t have to hide the fact that
he was born a boy, but could comfortably dress like a girl and even use
the girls’ bathroom. “She has been pretty adamant from the get-go: ‘I
am a girl’,” says Joel.
Male or female, we all start life looking pretty much the same. Genes
determine whether a particular human embryo will develop as male or
female. But each individual embryo is equipped to be either one—each
possesses the Mullerian ducts that become the female reproductive
system as well as the Wolffian ducts that become the male one. Around
eight weeks of development, through a complex genetic relay race,
the X and the male’s Y chromosomes kick into gear, directing the
structures to become testes or ovaries. (In most cases, the unneeded
extra structures simply break down.) The ovaries and the testes are
soon pumping out estrogen and testosterone, bathing the developing
fetus in hormones. Meanwhile, the brain begins to form, complete
with receptors—wired differently in men and women—that will later
determine how both estrogen and testosterone are used in the body.
After birth, the changes keep coming. In many species, male newborns
experience a hormone surge that may “organize” sexual and behavioral
traits, says Nirao Shah, a neuroscientist at UCSF. In rats, testosterone
given in the first week of life can cause female babies to behave more
like males once they reach adulthood. “These changes are thought to
be irreversible,” says Shah. Between 1 and 5 months, male human
babies also experience a hormone surge. It’s still unclear exactly what
effect that surge has on the human brain, but it happens just when
parents are oohing and aahing over their new arrivals.
Here’s where culture comes in. Studies have shown that parents treat boys and girls very
differently—breast-feeding boys longer but talking more to girls. That’s going on while the
baby’s brain is engaged in a massive growth spurt. “The brain doubles in size in the first
five years after birth, and the connectivity between the cells goes up hundreds of orders
of magnitude,” says Anne Fausto-Sterling, a biologist and feminist at Brown University who
is currently investigating whether subtle differences in parental behavior could influence
gender identity in very young children. “The brain is interacting with culture from day one.”
So what’s different in transgender people? Scientists don’t know for
certain. Though their hormone levels seem to be the same as non-trans
levels, some scientists speculate that their brains react differently to
the hormones, just as men’s differ from women’s. But that could take
decades of further research to prove. One 1997 study tantalizingly
suggested structural differences between male, female and transsexual
brains, but it has yet to be successfully replicated. Some transgender
17
people blame the environment, citing studies that show pollutants
have disrupted reproduction in frogs and other animals. But those
links are so far not proved in humans. For now, transgender issues
are classified as “Gender Identity Disorder” in the psychiatric manual
DSM-IV. That’s controversial, too—gay-rights activists spent years
campaigning to have homosexuality removed from the manual.
Gender fluidity hasn’t always seemed shocking. Cross-dressing
was common in ancient Greece and Rome, as well as among Native
Americans and many other indigenous societies, according to Deborah
Rudacille, author of “The Riddle of Gender.” Court records from the
Jamestown settlement in 1629 describe the case of Thomas Hall, who
claimed to be both a man and a woman. Of course, what’s considered
masculine or feminine has long been a moving target. Our Founding
Fathers wouldn’t be surprised to see men today with long hair or
earrings, but they might be puzzled by women in pants.
Transgender opponents have often turned to the Bible for support.
Deut. 22:5 says: “The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth
unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment: for all
that do so are abomination unto the Lord thy God.” When word leaked
in February that Steve Stanton, the Largo, Fla., city manager for 14
years, was planning to transition to life as a woman, the community
erupted. At a public meeting over whether Stanton should be fired,
one of many critics, Ron Sanders, pastor of the Lighthouse Baptist
Church, insisted that Jesus would “want him terminated.” (Stanton
did lose his job and this week will appear as Susan Stanton on Capitol
Hill to lobby for antidiscrimination laws.) Equating gender change with
homosexuality, Sanders says that “it’s an abomination, which means
that it’s utterly disgusting.”
Not all people of faith would agree. Baptist minister John Nemecek,
56, was surfing the Web one weekend in 2003, when his wife was at
a baby shower. Desperate for clues to his long-suppressed feelings
of femininity, he stumbled across an article about gender-identity
disorder on WebMD. The suggested remedy was sex-reassignment
surgery—something Nemecek soon thought he had to do. Many
families can be ripped apart by such drastic changes, but Nemecek’s
wife of 33 years stuck by him. His employer of 15 years, Spring Arbor
University, a faith-based liberal-arts college in Michigan, did not.
Nemecek says the school claimed that transgenderism violated its
Christian principles, and when it renewed Nemecek’s contract—by
18
then she was taking hormones and using the name Julie—it barred her
from dressing as a woman on campus or even wearing earrings. Her
workload and pay were cut, too, she says. She filed a discrimination
claim, which was later settled through mediation. (The university
declined to comment on the case.) Nemecek says she has no trouble
squaring her gender change and her faith. “Actively expressing the
feminine in me has helped me grow closer to God,” she says.
Others have had better luck transitioning. Karen Kopriva, now 49,
kept her job teaching high school in Lake Forest, Ill., when she shaved
her beard and made the switch from Ken. When Mark Stumpp, a
vice president at Prudential Financial, returned to work as Margaret
in 2002, she sent a memo to her colleagues (subject: Me) explaining
the change. “We all joked about wearing panty hose and whether ‘my
condition’ was contagious,” she says. But “when the dust settled,
everyone got back to work.” Companies like IBM and Kodak now cover
trans-related medical care. And 125 Fortune 500 companies now
protect transgender employees from job discrimination, up from three
in 2000. Discrimination may not be the worst worry for transgender
people: they are also at high risk of violence and hate crimes.
Perhaps no field has wrestled more with the issue of gender than
sports. There have long been accusations about male athletes’ trying to
pass as women, or women’s taking testosterone to gain a competitive
edge. In the 1960s, would-be female Olympians were required to
undergo gender-screening tests. Essentially, that meant baring all
before a panel of doctors who could verify that an athlete had girl
parts. That method was soon scrapped in favor of a genetic test. But
that quickly led to confusion over a handful of genetic disorders that
give typical-looking women chromosomes other than the usual XX.
Finally, the International Olympic Committee ditched mandatory labbased screening, too. “We found there is no scientifically sound labbased technique that can differentiate between man and woman,” says
Arne Ljungqvist, chair of the IOC’s medical commission.
The IOC recently waded into controversy again: in 2004 it issued
regulations allowing transsexual athletes to compete in the Olympics
if they’ve had sex-reassignment surgery and have taken hormones for
two years. After convening a panel of experts, the IOC decided that
the surgery and hormones would compensate for any hormonal or
muscular advantage a male-to-female transsexual would have.
19
(Female-to-male athletes would be allowed to take testosterone, but
only at levels that wouldn’t give them a boost.) So far, Ljungqvist
doesn’t know of any transsexual athletes who’ve competed. Ironically,
Renee Richards, who won a lawsuit in 1977 for the right to play tennis
as a woman after her own sex-reassignment surgery, questions the
fairness of the IOC rule. She thinks decisions should be made on a
case-by-case basis.
Richards and other pioneers reflect the huge cultural shift over a
generation of gender change. Now 70, Richards rejects the term
transgender along with all the fluidity it conveys. “God didn’t put us on
this earth to have gender diversity,” she says. “I don’t like the kids that
are experimenting. I didn’t want to be something in between. I didn’t
want to be trans anything. I wanted to be a man or a woman.”
But more young people are embracing something we would traditionally
consider in between. Because of the expense, invasiveness and mixed
results (especially for women becoming men), only 1,000 to 2,000
Americans each year get sex-reassignment surgery—a number that’s
on the rise, says Mara Keisling of the National Center for Transgender
Equality. Mykell Miller, a Northwestern University student born female
who now considers himself male, hides his breasts under a special
compression vest. Though he one day wants to take hormones and get
a mastectomy, he can’t yet afford it. But that doesn’t affect his selfimage. “I challenge the idea that all men were born with male bodies,”
he says. “I don’t go out of my way to be the biggest, strongest guy.”
Nowhere is the issue more pressing at the moment than a place that
helped give rise to feminist movement a generation ago: Smith College
in Northampton, Mass. Though Smith was one of the original Seven
Sisters women’s colleges, its students have now taken to calling it
a “mostly women’s college,” in part because of a growing number of
“transmen” who decide to become male after they’ve enrolled. In 2004,
students voted to remove pronouns from the student government
constitution as a gesture to transgender students who no longer
identified with “she” or “her.” (Smith is also one of 70 schools that
have antidiscrimination policies protecting transgender students.) For
now, anyone who is enrolled at Smith may graduate, but in order to be
admitted in the first place, you must have been born a female. Tobias
Davis, class of ‘03, entered Smith as a woman, but graduated as a
“transman.” When he first told friends over dinner, “I think I might be
a boy,” they were instantly behind him, saying “Great! Have you picked
20
a name yet?” Davis passed as male for his junior year abroad in Italy
even without taking hormones; he had a mastectomy last fall. Now
25, Davis works at Smith and writes plays about the transgender
experience. (His work “The Naked I: Monologues From Beyond the
Binary” is a trans take on “The Vagina Monologues.”)
As kids at ever-younger ages grapple with issues of gender variance,
doctors, psychologists and parents are weighing how to balance
immediate desires and long-term ones. Like Jona Rose, many kids
begin questioning gender as toddlers, identifying with the other
gender’s toys and clothes. Five times as many boys as girls say their
gender doesn’t match their biological sex, says Dr. Edgardo Menvielle,
a psychiatrist who heads a gender-variance outreach program at
Children’s National Medical Center. (Perhaps that’s because it’s easier
for girls to blend in as tomboys.) Many of these children eventually
move on and accept their biological sex, says Menvielle, often when
they’re exposed to a disapproving larger world or when they’re
influenced by the hormone surges of puberty. Only about 15 percent
continue to show signs of gender-identity problems into adulthood,
says Ken Zucker, who heads the Gender Identity Service at the Centre
for Addiction and Mental Health in Toronto.
In the past, doctors often advised parents to direct their kids into more
gender-appropriate clothing and behavior. Zucker still tells parents of
unhappy boys to try more-neutral activities—say chess club instead
of football. But now the thinking is that kids should lead the way. If a
child persists in wanting to be the other gender, doctors may prescribe
hormone “blockers” to keep puberty at bay. (Blockers have no
permanent effects.) But they’re also increasingly willing to take more
lasting steps: Isaak Brown (who started life as Liza) began taking male
hormones at 16; at 17 he had a mastectomy.
For parents like Colleen Vincente, 44, following a child’s lead seems
only natural. Her second child, M. (Vincente asked to use an initial to
protect the child’s privacy), was born female. But as soon as she could
talk, she insisted on wearing boy’s clothes. Though M. had plenty of
dolls, she gravitated toward “the boy things” and soon wanted to shave
off all her hair. “We went along with that,” says Vincente. “We figured
it was a phase.” One day, when she was 21⁄2, M. overheard her parents
talking about her using female pronouns. “He said, ‘No—I’m a him.
You need to call me him’,” Vincente recalls. “We were shocked.” In his
California preschool, M. continued to insist he was a boy and decided
21
to change his name. Vincente and her husband, John, consulted a
therapist, who confirmed their instincts to let M. guide them. Now 9,
M. lives as a boy and most people have no idea he was born otherwise.
“The most important thing is to realize this is who your child is,”
Vincente says. That’s a big step for a family, but could be an even
bigger one for the rest of the world.
22
HERE COMES
S UM
M
ER
Whether it be floaty dresses and
parosols or skin-tight bikinis and bronzed
skin, you cant mistake the buzz in
knowing...... Here comes SUMMER!!!
23
VOTE #1 - Beth
VOTE #2 - Cynthia
24
VOTE #3 - Jessi
VOTE #4 - Lynda
25
VOTE #5 - Minki
VOTE #6 - Terilynn
26
VOTE #7 - Kristina
So there you go
gang! Another bevy
of beauties to bring
some extra shine
into our lives, so get
voting for your fav!!
VOTE #8 - Steph
27
B Girls
AD
eautiful
nd
isabled
Forth coming Section
OK , heres the plan gang, following a recent poll in Lilboutique
it looks like a great idea to devote a lil of Narcisse to our disabled
girls, we all have the same angst, feelings and cravings, but unless
your disabled yourself you wont know the half of it. So, heres your
chance, please send your views, questions, articles, adverts, just
about anything you can think of, and this goes for able bodied too, to
the usual address. Once you do I’ll see about making up some membership cards and you too could be one of the
BAD Girls!
28
This months debate
concerns what ONE
thing epitomises the
femininity that you
feel within you, the
one thing that screams
FEM!
Here are your
replies ....
Femininity
29
“ Silky nightgowns. Mostly long, but short, with a robe, is good too.
Add some lace or sheer fabric to make me feel the most feminine.
Also long dresses, whether formal, sun dresses, etc. Add some heels and
makeup and my feminine side is OUT there.”
-Candy
Hi Mandy,
the thing that most
epitomises my femininity
has to be my high heeled
stilettos, they just make
me feel so much more girly
and the click of the heels
on pavement or wooden
floor is just the most sexy
sound ever!
Hugs Steph x
Hi Sis,
In my case it has to be my stiletto pumps are
my passion andstocking and garter belt......I
sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo love the
feeling. So I would have to say all of my 6 inch stiletto heel
pumps!
Cynthia
30
Dear Mandy
To me, the thing that epitomizes my
femininity is my tender, loving heart.
A heart that rfeally loves and is
compassionate and caring.
A heart that weeps at those less fortunate
or handicapped.
A heart that mourns the social injustices
of this world.
A heart that is deeply saddened by all the
hatred this world has.
In short, my femininity is synonimus with
my tenderhearted nature and spirit.
I wish the world
love and peace.
Hugs and kisses, ericalynne
“my earrings for
my pierced ears”
JM
This may be seem weird to some, but for me,
nothing makes me feel more feminine than
jewelry...specifically a cute little anklet
Lisa
31
Sorry, dear but my feminine side is gestault. It is a place where
I can go and feel right only when I have put in the effort to
do all the things that feel feminine to me. I can’t choose one
thing. Wig, dress, make up, shoes, correct underwear, all are
necessary, then I am en femme.
loving-leigh,
Leigh
Ok Mandy
Personally I don’t think there can be a debate, but perhaps someone
can convince me otherwise. It doesn’t matter to me what else I wear,
what make up I put on, or even the perfume I wear I can never feel
complete until the hair is in place. So for me it has to be my wig(s).
That is not to say I would feel complete if I had only my wig on
though and in that respect everything else is all part of a whole that
is little old me .....
Kirsty
xxx xxx
Hi Mandy, I agree with Kirsty that you need the total outfit to feel
completly fem but for me there is nothing more feminine than a pair of
sheer tights covering smooth hair free legs after all what real man would
display his legs in such a manner its just a shame more real ladies dont do
this more often nowdays. Bex.xxx.
ONE thing, all I asked was ONE thing, but no,
they had to be awkward! GOD!!!!! you make me
mad, yellow card to you three!!!!giggle
32
GULP!!
GULP!!
33
The something we are not
I am the boy, who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the
room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only
loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to
bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two
men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on
me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit
mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grows suddenly cold and distant when they
found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do
that.
I am the woman who died when the EMT’s stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with
society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don’t believe, but because they closed their doors to my
kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person ashamed to tell my own friend’s I’m a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.
I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to “teach me a
lesson”
I am the girl who is afraid to tell my friend’s I’m BI because they will think I just want attention from guys.
34
Personal Profile
EYEBROW AND EYELASH TINTING
Tinting can last up to six weeks, depending on individuals. It is essential
that any one carries out a sensitivity test before having this treatment.
A small amount of the tint should be mixed up and applied; this can be
either behind the ear or the inner side of the elbow. It should be covered
with a plaster which should not be removed until the time is up, unless
irritation occurs.
POSITIVE REACTION
The skin will become red in the area of the patch test and there will be
severe itchiness and in some cases swelling of the surrounding tissue.
The treatment is therefore contradicted and should not go ahead.
NEGATIVE REACTION
If there has been no discomfort or irritation then the treatment can go
ahead. Even if you don’t have a reaction you should always test regularly
because anybody can have changes to their system and this could effect
how you react to the dye. A bad reaction can be terrible for the person
involved and can leave them with damage to their eye this is why it is so
important to do a test.
If half way through the treatment you should start to feel soreness or a
burning sensation then you must stop straight away and take off the tint,
this will minimise the damaged to your eyes.
COLOUR
When choosing a tint for the client certain factors must be taken into
account:
Firstly hair colour, if:
Fair or Red
Auburn
Dark
Grey
-
Brown or Black tint for lashes and Brown for brows.
Brown or Black tint for lashes and Brown for brows.
Brown or Black tint for lashes and brows.
Brown or Black tint for lashes and brows.
35
Personal Profile
Skin colour:
Fair
Medium
Olive
- Brown would look better as Black could look to harsh.
- Brown or Black.
- Brown or Black.
EYEBROW TWEEZING
Measure from the outside corner of the eye to the outside corner
of the nose, any brow hairs extending beyond this point should be
removed. Then measure from the inside corner of the eye to the same
corner of the nose and remove any hairs extending beyond this point,
many people have hairs in the middle of their brow and these must be
removed as well.
The arch of the brow should be at the highest point when the client is
looking straight forward and the pupil is in the middle of the eye.
Facial steaming or a couple of cotton wool pads soaked in warm water
can be held over the brow and this will help to dilate the pore in that
area.
The skin should be held taught between the index and middle fingers;
this ensures the skin does not move when the hairs are being pulled out.
The hairs should be tweezed in the direction of the hair growth; witchhazel, surgical spirit or a mild antiseptic should be wiped over the area
to prevent infection.
Hands must be washed in antiseptic soap and tweezers should be
sterilised.
36
Personal Profile
Perming Eyelashes
Eyelash Perming is a very effective way to curl
your eyelashes with lasting effect.
The procedure takes approximately 40 mins and
you have to have your eyes closed for most of
that time, so if you suffer from panic attacks or
claustrophobia then you might found this too
difficult.
A test is done 48 hours before the treatment is
carried out to make sure you are not allergic to
the glue, if you haven’t had a reaction then the
Perming can go ahead.
There are varying degrees of curl depending on
the look you’re going for. Most people go for
the gradual curl which makes the lashes more
defined once mascara has been applied.
I personally have my lashes permed as it does
mean that you don’t always have to wear
mascara.
37
French
Maid’s
COMPETITION
WINNER
38
Congratulations
Jessica
39
?!
3 MEN GO INTO A MOTEL. THE MAN BEHIND THE DESK
SAID THE ROOM IS $30, SO EACH
MAN PAID $10 AND WENT TO THE ROOM.
A WHILE LATER THE MAN BEHIND THE DESK REALIZED
THE ROOM WAS ONLY $25, SO HE
SENT THE BELLBOY TO THE 3 GUYS’ ROOM WITH $5.
ON THE WAY, THE BELLBOY COULDN’T FIGURE OUT
HOW TO SPLIT
$5 EVENLY
BETWEEN 3 MEN, SO HE GAVE EACH MAN A $1 AND
KEPT THE OTHER $2 FOR HIMSELF.
THIS MEANT THAT THE 3 MEN EACH PAID $9 FOR THE
ROOM, WHICH IS A TOTA L OF
$27, ADD THE $2 THAT THE BELLBOY KEPT = $29.
WHERE IS THE OTHER DOLLAR?
40
One Girl’s Story.... Wendy Tarbit
Hi I am Wendy
My dressing started at the age
of 3 my mother took me on
holiday as a girl.
She would take two cases
one was her clothes the other
was girl’s clothes for me.
This went on till I was
17 then my mother started
getting very ill before she
died she said “I wanted a girl
and got you” I was shocked so
much I went into denials for
12 years.
41
I decided to take on a tough
job of a stuntman/actor I
started with the BBC on Doctor
Who in 1973. In between
series I would work on a few
films and have a few roles as
villains in the Sweeney. My
next big break was to work
on the Professionals as third
stuntman while there I had to
double an actress doing a five
floor fall.
While doing the stunt I got a strange
feeling wearing woman’s clothes but this
was not Wendy’s rebirth that came later.
I doubled actresses a few more times
It was at this time I met a young
freelance make up artist called Sally
,she would later become a big help to
Wendy.
In 1985 I was working on a new police
drama, word had got around about me
doubling women. I asked to double an
actress in a car chase, that did it, the
next day I was in a charity shop buying
my first dress the blue with white spots
in my photo.
Then I went into a fancy dress shop to
get a wig, Underwear was acquired by
sally for me as I was a bit shy.
This went on for some time,then sally
introduced me to her cousin Georgina
who I thought a bit odd till I was told
she was a female to male called George
it was in 1995 it was decide that George
and Wendy would meet dressed for the
first time at a new years party at sally’s
mum’s house.
I was duly adopted by her family as
my own family disowned me because of
Wendy. This is still continues to today
Moving on in 2002/2003 I was told I had
MS I was forced to retire from my job
this meant more dressing time in 2005
I decided to come out of the closet but
this was a down side 4 days after sally
became a victim of the 7/7 bombers this
made me think about quitting on wendy
but sally told me not to as she likes
having a sister.Since then I have started
a group for disabled t*girls and their
families.
42
D
e
p
r
e
s
s
i
o
n
D
e
p
r
e
s
s
i
o
n
43
After suffering years of depression myself ( and still do ) it seems that it
is a common trait in the Transgender community, so much so that there have
been many articles written on the subject, there follows the results of our own
lil poll into our own personal reasons that we attribute our depression to,
and a couple of helpful articles I managed to track down. Above all remember though, that we are a strong and close-knit community, there is always a
friend to lend an ear, and I for one will always be here if you need me.
Also, to go along with this article, we have our very own Trangender
Councillor on hand as a resident Agony Aunt. So if you have any issues you
wish to discuss or advice to seek then please do not hesitate to get in touch x
Question
It seems that Transgenderism and depression go hand in hand, but it would be interesting
as to what you think is the main cause of your depression. Below are a list of SOME
main reasons ( I know I could never cover everyones ), please take the time to voice your
personal choice.
Results
Guilt
7%
Loneliness
14%
Past Trauma
0%
Wrong Body
24%
Stress
4%
Lack of Understanding from Society
24%
Stigma
4%
Other Pressures ( Money, Marriage, etc )
19%
44
While research is scant, transgendered persons appear to be at similar risk for mental health problems as other
persons who experience major life changes, relationship difficulties, chronic medical conditions, or significant
discrimination on the basis of minority status.
§
Depression
There is some evidence that transgendered persons may be less likely to seek treatment for depressionfearing that their gender issues will be assumed to be the cause of their symptoms, and that they will be
judged negatively. Because of these and other factors, depression associated with gender transition may
be underdiagnosed.
§
Victimization and Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome (PTSD)
Many transgendered persons experience some form of victimization as a direct result of their transgender
identity or presentation. This victimization ranges from subtle forms of harassment and discrimination to
blatant verbal, physical, and sexual assault, including beatings, rape and even homicide. The majority of
assaults against transgender persons are never reported the police. A link between these experiences
and mental health disorders such as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is widely suspected, but has
not been adequately documented.
§
Suicide and self-harm
Both suicide attempts and completed suicides are common in transgendered persons. Studies generally
report a pre-transition suicide attempt rate of 20% or more, with MTFs relatively more likely to attempt
suicide than FTMs. There is some evidence that transsexual people are less likely to attempt suicide once
they have completed the transition to the other sex.
Another form of self-harm in transgendered persons is genital mutilation. This is most common among
transsexuals, although cross-dressers have done this as well. A 1984 study of a cohort of transgendered
individuals who applied for services at gender identity clinics reported genital mutilation by 9% of the
biologic males and breast mutilation was attempted by 2% of the biologic females.
Transgender Issues & Depression
by Gianna E. Israel
Copyright © 1996, all rights reserved.
Depression is the leading mental health issue faced by transgender persons. However,
unless a client or reader’s depression has progressed to crisis proportions it is the subject
I am least likely to receive questions about. Depression is also the leading mental health
issue faced by those who do not have a transgender identity. With this knowledge it
should be clearly understood that when transgender persons are depressed, it does
not mean that having a transgender identity or fulfilling one’s crossdressing needs is
pathological, mentally disordered or medically diseased.
45
Both transgender and non-transgender populations are equally unlikely to receive treatment
for depression. This is tragic, because depression is one of the best understood mental illnesses,
with recognizable symptoms and effective interventions. People do not seek treatment for a
variety of reasons. Some individuals allow themselves to suffer tremendous pain, believing
that obtaining help is shameful or a sign of weakness. Typically these persons have bought into
the notion that mental health issues are stigmatizing or less important than medical conditions.
In other words, people are more likely to seek treatment after contracting a painful, sexuallytransmitted disease than get help for depression. It does not seem to matter how much emotional
turmoil the person is suffering.
Within both populations, there also exist numerous persons who recognize that they are
moderately to severely depressed. Some of these individuals do not seek treatment because they
believe it will be ineffective or they are suspicious of the medical and mental health professions.
Because transgender persons continue to be discounted, misdiagnosed or characterized
as pathological, particularly by professionals unfamiliar with gender identity issues, it is
understandable that some will feel hesitant in seeking support for depression. This concern is
an important dynamic in supporting transgender persons. I will address it after providing basic
information about depression itself and how it is identified.
Depression is a mood disorder characterized by extended feelings of sadness, loss,
restlessness, discouragement, hopelessness, self-doubt and guilt. These feelings are often
accompanied by noticeable changes in a depressed individual’s regular sleeping, eating and
sexual habits. They are also likely to have changes in self-perception, think negative thoughts
on an on-going basis, have difficulty making decisions, and sometimes, contemplate selfdestructive acts. Their emotions typically swing sharply between feeling angry, sad, melancholic
or moody.
Depression is not about having one or several isolated bad or low-energy days; its
about feeling badly and having an emotionally poor quality of life, day after day,
with no hope of relief in sight.
The preceding description reflects the state of mind that characterizes depression and lends
understanding to why people do not seek treatment. The more severe the depression the more
limited an individual’s ability to think realistically or recognize options which might improve
their quality of life. Simply stated, most depressed persons routinely discount treatment options
until everything else has failed. This type of “clouded” judgment also frequently slows the
resolution of gender issues. Depressed transgender persons frequently feel compelled to move
ahead in their transition without seeking adequate support. Also, in order to gain acceptance and
reduce emotional turmoil, they may disclose their transgender issues without having taken into
account potential consequences or its effect upon others.
46
It is well documented within professional literature that depression can be caused by either
one or a combination of medical, psychological or circumstantial factors. As a result there
are a variety of treatment approaches which are designed to address this disorder. Therefore,
while it is a positive step for people to acknowledge they are depressed, deciding ones’ own
course of treatment or self-medicating is irresponsible and dangerous. A professional familiar
with the treatment of depression should be consulted. In some circumstances anti-depressant
medications may be useful, particularly when an individual is in crisis or experiencing
debilitating emotional pain. Most anti-depressants are designed to take the edge off of the
extreme lows or sharp mood swings which accompany severe depression. They provide
temporary emotional relief allowing the individual an opportunity to build coping skills. Antidepressants vary in their recommended length of use and several also address depressionrelated anxiety or manic-depression.
Education within individual psychotherapy also plays an important treatment role and
may be coupled with medication.. In learning about depression, people frequently feel that the
tremendous pain they are suffering will never end. Being reassured that despondent feelings
do resolve and that positive change is possible is an important part of treatment. It is also
helpful for people to find out that they are not alone, and that there are numerous instances of
successful treatment. Because depression exacerbates social isolation, peer support or group
therapy can provide individuals with positive social contacts and an opportunity to hear how
others combat depression.
It should be noted that in providing depression treatment to transgender persons, there
exist several dynamics which frequently prevent persons from seeking help. As previously
mentioned, transgender persons routinely have been characterized as mentally disordered
because their crossdressing and gender identity issues seem unusual to non-transgender
persons. Regrettably such attitudes still exist today within the medical and mental health
professions, particularly in locations that do not have access to up-to-date professional
literature on gender identity issues. Both care providers and transgender persons should
understand that having a transgender identity or individual crossdressing needs does not
cause depression; rather they are caused by experiencing seemingly unresolvable social and
circumstantial pressures. Learning effective coping skills which concurrently resolve these
pressures while preserving a person’s gender identification is the correct approach in these
situations.
47
Transgender persons also avoid treatment for depression because it is widely believed
that in order for treatment to be effective, both gender identity and depression issues must
be addressed at the same time. This is not always the case. In some situations it is possible
to provide symptom relief without having to immediately deal with gender identity issues.
Individuals may seek support for their depression, stressing that they are not interested in
discussing gender identity issues until they feel safe doing so, if it should it become necessary.
Those who feel that disclosing their gender issues may prove compromising or be met with
negativity, may choose not to. Rather, they can utilize the break from emotional anguish which
is available through traditional depressive-symptom relief to seek gender-specialized resources
for their crossdressing or gender identity issues.
Having two care providers, one who dispenses depression treatment and the other
who offers gender-specialized support is useful in many circumstances. This is
particularly so when a transgender person does not yet have a sufficient level of
communication skills and knowledge about gender identity issues to disclose to a
helping professional unfamiliar with gender identity issues.
The interpersonal difficulties and social hostilities which transgender persons experience
can play a large role in causing or aggravating depression. This is particularly true for
individuals who are coming to terms with gender issues without the assistance or awareness
of gender specialized resources. “Coming-out,” disclosure concerns, balancing transition
costs, social isolation, family rejection, and being single or unable to find acceptance from a
significant other, are some of the recognizable sources of depression in transgender persons.
Less frequently acknowledged contributors to depression include; unresolved gender identity
conflicts in pre and post-operative persons, pre and post-surgical emotional adjustment, poor
body image and low self-esteem.
Transgender hormone administration also may play a causal role in depression. Because
hormones are powerful chemicals, an increase or decrease in dosage can bring on changes
in mood. Transgender persons and their physicians need to recognize that routine laboratory
testing of blood-based hormone levels helps insure that dosages are effective, yet not so high
as to create debilitating mood swings or dangerous medical complications. Gradual changes
in hormone dosages are a sensible precaution that provide an opportunity for physical and
emotional adjustment. Also, individuals who are initiating hormone administration frequently
are poorly prepared for the emotional changes that go with it. These persons are encouraged to
adjust their thinking and seek support for their needs much as women do during menopause.
This is particularly so for transgender women who choose to cycle their hormones so as to
mimic the biological rhythms genetic women experience.
48
Lastly, careproviders need to be aware that a lack of access to hormones also produces
high rates of depression, emotional mood swings, and occasionally suicidal feelings. This
is particularly so when public institutions, and medical or mental health providers deny
transgender persons access to hormones because it is against policy or careprovider staff
are unfamiliar with gender identity issues. Transgender persons should not be denied
access to hormones or cut-off from pre-existing prescriptions solely because a careprovider
is disinterested or unfamiliar in supporting transgender persons. Transgender hormone
administration is a routine medical procedure and transgender persons are no less entitled to
informed medical care than other patients.
Transgender persons can suffer depression caused by situations or disorders that are in
no way related to gender issues. Transgender persons need to recognize this, and research
treatment options before things reaching a crisis. It is senseless for individuals to suffer from
depression when successful treatment options exist. In many circumstances severe and longterm depression can be halted with early intervention.
If you are a person suffering from depression, start searching for help now and do not give
up until you find it. Most gender-specializing care providers are familiar with treatment and
available resources. If you do not have a gender specialist in your area, traditional mental
health counseling and psychiatric resources are listed in the “community section” of your
local telephone directory. Lastly, if you would like to read more about combating depression,
most bookstores and libraries have numerous professional and self-help titles available.
49
A teacher asks her class, ´If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you
shoot one of them, how many will be left?´ She calls on little Tony. He
replies, ´None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.´ The teacher
replies, ´The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.´ Then little
Tony says, ´I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women sitting on a
bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple
scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking
the cone.
The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?´
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, ´Well, I suppose the one
that´s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.´ To which Little Tony
replied, ´The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on, but I
like your thinking.´
Little Tony returns from school
and says he got an F in arithmetic.
´Why?´ asks the father? ´The
teacher asked ´How much is 2 x3?´
I said ´6´, replies Tony. ´But that´s
right!´ says his dad. ´Yeah, but then
she asked me, ´How much is 3 x 2?´
´What´s the fucking difference?´
asks the father.
´That´s what I said!´
50
S
N
A
Z
Z
Y
A fine pair of legs can only
look better in some sexy
hosiery, dont you agree?
Well here are your efforts,
get voting for your fav!
51
S
O
C
K
S
VOTE #1 - Barbara
VOTE #2 - Theant
52
VOTE #3 - Beth
VOTE #4 Kirsty
53
VOTE #5 - Becky
VOTE #6 - Nikki
54
How Many Candles???
AUGUST
Annemarie
Bridget
Caitlin
Christen
Diane
Drew
Elaine
Gina
Jen
55
Jessi
Jocelyn
Kelly
Linda
Maria
Nikki
Noelle
Rachel
56
Julia
Sara
Sarah
Saraya
Stephanie
Steve
Traci
Vincent
57
SEPTEMBER
Alison
Angela
Connie
Heather
Kirsty
Lisa
58
Cathrine
Kaitlyn
Mark
Miki
Mikki
Tania
Heather
Veronica
Happy Birthday xxx
59
CENTREFOLD
S
A
T
L
I
S
O
N
60
J
O
H
N
My name is Alison St
John, Alison was my first
gf’s name and St John
came about from John
being my middle name and
with being a Liverpool
fan Ian St John came to
mind, I am now in my 41st
year and am enjoying my
dressing as much as ever.
I have been dressing since
the age of 10, after seeing
a film with Danny La
Rue in called “Our Miss
Fred” I was fascinated on
how a guy could look so
feminine, I was hooked.
61
I was dressing totally by the age of
18 and I would say it was more of an
illusion for me and nothing more than
that, I think the perfectionist in me has
kept me going for this length of time,
I am always willing to learn new
techniques on how to improve my image
and try to chat with as many t-girls and
female illusionists on their thoughts and
ideas.
62
I have had 2 relationships in my
life, one of which my partner
was not tolerant of my dressing
but now I am with my gf Louise
who encourages it. I dress maybe
a couple of times a month for
pictures or an occasional night
out with friends, I love all sorts of
styles and fashions, make up is a
big part of my transformation and
I use mostly MAC cosmetics, I
love to make new friends and am
always willing to help or listen to
others.
63
WANTED
ROUND YELLOW THING USUALLY FLOATS AROUND IN THE SKY
ANSWERS TO THE NAME ‘’SUN’’
IF YOU SEE HIM TELL HIM IT’S F***ING AUGUST!!
HERE’S A SKETCH ARTISTS IMPRESSION RELEASED BY THE
POLICE TODAY
64
nuff said!!
65
OF
F
R
I
BREAST
E
N
D
S
66
Breast ‘forms’ come in many shapes and sizes, whether they be ( like me ) rice filled
bags, silicon ‘chicken fillets’, right through the spectrum to naturally enhanced
breasts, to the ‘real deal’, each month I’ll be bringing you some useful articles on
breast enhancement, either temporary or permenant, and I hope that you will write in
with your own methods, Do’s and Dont’s,etc, so we can all achieve the best results.
This month:-
Natural Herbal Breast Enhancement|Herbs For
Breast Enhancement
19th July 2007
Author: Alien
Using herbs and herbal supplements for natural breast enhancement has become very popular in
the past few years and variety of herbal breast enhancement products can now be found on the
market, including pills, powder supplements and creams.
The theory behind the use of herbs for breast enhancement is that certain herbs that contain
high levels of natural estrogen, called phyto-estrogen which are similar in structure to the female
hormone oestrogen, are thought to stimulate the oestrogen receptors in the mammary glands
which in turn produce new breast tissue
The herbs are thought to stimulate the production of oestrogen in the body in the same way that
oestrogen is produced during pregnancy and thus enlarge the breasts as if pregnant.
There are some studies that indicate that some of the herbs used in the herbal breast
enhancement products on the market today might increase the size of the breasts in some
women. But further studies are needed.
Always educate yourself about each herb if you decide to use them on their own or integrated into
herbal supplement. Herbs can be as powerful as pharmaceutical drugs and should be treated as
such. They may produce side affects and can also interact with other drugs so it is a good idea to
consult your doctor before you start to use medicinal herbs.
Natural Herbs That Are Used In Herbal products For Breast Enhancement
*
*
*
*
Fenugreek (Trigonella foenum-graecum)
Saw Palmetto (Serenoa repens)
Dong Quai (Angelica sinensis)
Black Cohosh (Cimicifuga racemosa L, Actaea racemosa L)
Other herbs that are used in products for breast enhancement include fennel seed, dandelion root, blessed
thistle, watercress and kelp.
67
Few Guidelines to Consider When Buying Herbal Products for Breast
Enhancement
* Try to ignore all the hype and sale pitches and focus on the important factors which
are the ingredients or the herbs used in these supplements. Read about the benefits
and potential side effects of each herb and take it from there.
* To see results in increased breast size when using herbal breast enhancement
supplements can take up to 6-12 months. It is highly unlikly to see results in one
month.
* When considering a specific natural or herbal breast enlargement product, look for
a product guarantee. Many natural breast enlargement products come with a money
back guarantee if promised results are not achieved. If a product does not offer this
guarantee, look for one that does.
* Before making a herbal breast enlargement product purchase, it is vital to check
out the customer satisfaction. One way to do this is to look at the before and after
photos commonly displayed on the company’s web pages. If the pictures look too
good to be true, or appear to be altered, they probably are. Read the customer
testimonials. If they sound bogus, or promise unreal results, beware.
68
FASHION>>>>>
The futures
bright
the futures....
Cobalt
69
FASHION>>>>>
ASOS Keyhole Border
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70
FASHION>>>>>
ASOS Daisy Square-neck Blouson
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ASOS Chiffon Shirted Lindsay Top
NEXT Pleated Top
LOVE Label Top
71
FASHION>>>>>
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JD WILLIAMS
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72
Love Label
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1
4
3
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5
1- Love Label Open Back Top
2- Love Label Boobtube Dress
3- Ring Halter Maxi Dress
4- Oasis Jersey Pinefore
5- Silk Star Print Tunic
73
FASHION>>>>>
Blonde Tunic
M S Cobalt Blue
Knicks
Cobalt Linen
Cropped
DP Drawstring
Shopper
Evans Cobalt
Linen Belted
Skirt
Seventh Heaven
Laced Leggings
74
75
Next Ring Detail
Bikini
In The
PAPERS
The day Rhodri became Miranda
Daily Telegraph 29/06/07
A former Guardsman tells Peter Stanford how a sex-change operation drove away her children and
friends
Miranda Ponsonby is waiting for me, as arranged, at the ticket barrier of Kettering station. There’s a small
crowd of people meeting others off the train, but Ponsonby immediately stands out. For one thing, she’s
unusually tall - she must be over six foot - and her clothes are rather flamboyant. In her mid-sixties, she
is wearing a low-cut, flowery sleeveless blouse and black-handkerchief skirt that show off both her long
limbs and the tan she acquired on her recent holiday in France.
I know at once it is her because there are
pictures of her - in her nurse’s uniform
at the local hospital where she works in the draft of her memoir, The Making
of Miranda, which I’ve been reading
on the train. There are other pictures in
there, too - sepia ones of a handsome
young cavalry officer, one time in full
dress uniform, another in khaki in the
desert on what looks like a gun carriage.
And he has the same face as the woman
waving to me as I hand in my ticket.
Miranda Ponsonby, you see, is a
transsexual and the memoir sets out the
remarkable journey she has been on and
the price she has paid in terms of lost
family and friends. For the first 50 years
of her life, she was Rhodri Ponsonby.
Born into an upper-crust family with
close connections to the Royal Family,
and sent away to boarding school at
seven, Rhodri had a highly conventional
life, even by the standards of his class.
76
A career in the Brigade of Guards - “one of the happiest times of my life” - was followed by marriage,
two sons and settling down to hunt and farm on a few hundred acres in Leicestershire.
But Rhodri had a secret that he couldn’t tell anyone. He had known from an early age that, inside his
head, he was a girl.
“I think I always had a sense of myself as different,” Miranda says, as she drives me in her open-top
sports car to a friend’s house nearby. (Her house, I’d been told, was being renovated. “Renovated?” she
roars when I repeat this. “It’s way past that.”) “It dates back in my mind to the age of three and being
taken by Nanny to see this doctor about something that was wrong with my private parts, as it were. I
was sitting in a bath with pink liquid and I had the feeling that I was a female and they had really got it
mixed up.”
Quite why she was sitting in pink liquid is never entirely clear. Ponsonby’s parents are both dead and are
past asking for clarification, while she says of brother... “we were once very close but the idiot became a
Roman Catholic so still sends me letters addressed to Rhodri Ponsonby.
“ It may have been something as simple, she says, as an undescended testicle. But, for Rhodri, it was the
first time he knew he was female. And the knowledge would never quite go away, no matter how hard he
tried to banish it.
‘Jolly good for a girl.’
“I remember when I got to be the captain of the cricket XI at school thinking, ‘Jolly good for a girl.’ “
Thirty years of marriage were, she says, “contented”. She says little more about her ex-wife, Jane. The
two no longer speak.
“Her choice, not mine.” But, protests Ponsonby before I start feeling sorry for Jane, it was only after the
failure of the marriage that Rhodri decided to act on that buried sense of being in the wrong body. “I’d
done all I could for my family and so I suddenly decided to do something for me.” It is said in tones
that might be leading up to an account of going on a world cruise or signing up as a mature student for
evening classes.
And that is what is striking about both Miranda Ponsonby and her memoir. Her extraordinary story is
told in the same matter-of-fact tone, laced with plenty of black humour, that she might use to recall a bad
day at the office.
Having a sex-change operation may still be rare, but she is not alone in submitting to the surgeon’s knife
and hormone treatment. Her capacity to laugh at finding herself in this situation, however, is unique. As,
for instance, when she recalls trying, following her operation 15 years ago, to get admitted to train as a
nurse at nearby Leicester Infirmary.
77
“I was more or less accepted,” she recalls,
“but they said, ‘Because you’re old, we’ll
have to send you for a medical.’ The doctor
examined me. I was fine because I always
have been fine. I’d spent 30 years working on
a farm after all. And then he said, ‘Have you
had any operations?’ And like a bloody idiot I
said, ‘Just one - a sex change.’ That was when
he panicked. And the silly arse sent a message
saying, ‘Ask Mrs Ponsonby about her sex.’
That put the wind up everyone. Eventually
they said, ‘We daren’t take you.’ “
She did eventually get taken on - by Guy’s
Hospital in London - but learnt in the process
that the only way to make progress was to
blank the curious stares and keep quiet about
her sex change.
So why break cover now with a book that,
although still in draft form, has attracted
attention from publishers and filmmakers
alike? “I needed to do it,” she says simply and
without apparent emotion. “I feel I let the side
down.”
The stiff-upper-lip vocabulary of her
privileged upbringing peppers our
conversation and, along with her humour, can distract from the seriousness of what she is describing.
But, behind the caricature, and even her repeated denials, hers is, it quickly becomes apparent, a tale of
crushing ostracism and lingering self-doubt.
It is to the world of the county set, retired Army officers and hunting, shooting, fishing types who were
once her friends, that Ponsonby plans to address The Making of Miranda. “I do feel a need somehow to
atone. Or at least to explain. It is one of the reasons I went into nursing - somehow to make good, rather
as Jack Profumo made good with his work at Toynbee Hall in the East End of London after the scandal.”
But, I point out, Profumo did something wrong. He lied to Parliament. What is she atoning for? Having a
sex change is, after all, not a crime.
“People here locally, whom I considered for 30 years to be my friends, the people Jane and I mixed with
for so many years, being godparents to their children and they godparents to ours, none of them now has
anything to do with me. They think I am a lunatic. Immediately the sex change happened, I’d be walking
down the main street of Market Harborough and they’d cut me.”
There is, she reports, only one of her former friends who has eventually come round - a retired general
she met on the train to London one day. The reaction of the rest has clearly caught her by surprise. Hadn’t
the banter of the barrack room prepared her in some small way?
78
“Not really. You see, I’d read Jan Morris. You know, the writer [who had a sex change]. She’s the other
one. Same generation as me. She was in the Ninth Lancers, I think. And all her friends accepted her. But
she probably mixed with what you might call more liberal people.”
Ponsonby, you quickly gather, would not be classified as a liberal, so her expectations of her erstwhile
pals may have been naïve. But she has certainly paid a heavy price for that naïvety. She has had to accept,
for instance, a new and less close relationship with her sons. She was not invited to one’s wedding “disgrace to the regiment” is the phrase she uses in the memoir, before recounting a hilarious tale of her
first meeting with her future daughter-in-law when having a pee in her son’s front garden.
And she rarely sees her grandchildren, despite having bought a cruiser on the Norfolk Broads in the hope
that she might be allowed to see them there in the school holidays.
“disgrace to the regiment”
And her other son? “I handed on my farm to my son Rupert,” she begins. “One night, after I’d had the
operation, he called me very late and said he had a cow stuck in labour. I was half asleep because I’d just
finished a long shift on the ward, but I drove over, walked back up the path that I’d walked up so many
times when it was my farm, and I suppose in the process I reverted to being Rhodri. When I got to the
calving shed, I started to strip off my shirt as of old. Calving is a messy business and you need to insert
the arm up to the shoulder. Then I noticed Rupert staring at me. It suddenly dawned on me that it was not
perhaps altogether usual for ladies to stand naked above the waist without the old 38DD on board.”
Certainly not in front of their sons. What does Rupert call her now? “Oh, ‘Miranda’ sometimes. Often
‘Dad’.” Ponsonby, you realise, has little time for delicate sensibilities. Those who read the memoir
looking for a reflective inner journey will come away disappointed.
“I have been trying more in recent drafts to explain,” she protests, as if it is a rather tiresome chore next
to the more pressing tasks of atoning and amusing. What about your pre-operation counselling and the
stipulation of living as a woman for three years before surgery, I ask. There isn’t a lot about it in the
book.
“That’s because,” she laughs, “I said bugger that to all that messing about. I saw this chap, a cosmetic
surgeon, at a clinic in Huntingdon. I don’t think he’s practising any more. I asked him how much to skip
all that bloody nonsense. He said £6,000. About a week later, I went up to some dreadful place called
Rotherham. I hadn’t ever dressed as a woman before. So I bought some women’s clothes, put them in a
suitcase, and drove up on a rainy, awful day. It was a horrifying operation. They managed to leave part of
one of my testicles behind. Which was a bit careless. After a day, I decided to go home.”
79
And that, it seems, was that, as far as Miranda was concerned. Life began again as a woman. Does she
feel happier now she has changed gender? “No. I felt happy before and I feel happy now. I’ve never been
one of those people to get in a dreadful state about things, though, by that time, I must say I was worn out
by the farm. I needed a new challenge and this was a terrific challenge. The only thing I can put it down to
is the male menopause.”
You are torn between wanting to laugh - as Ponsonby undoubtedly intends - and wishing that she hadn’t
rejected that pre-op counselling. For, as the story of her new life unravels, it is told as a series of events
that just happened to her.
“At first, I carried on farming and then one of the family said, ‘It’s no good just sitting there being a
woman, you need to go out with a man.’ So I went to some sort of dating agency. You know, where they
send someone to your house. And this man arrived while I was still busy on the farm doing a corn load.
I was covered in dust and he clearly thought I was a man. So I quickly said, ‘Have you come to see my
sister?’ and then went upstairs and got changed and came down. ‘Oh, where’s your brother gone?’ the man
said. ‘Off to London.’ He was the first man of all. I’ve only had three, really.”
There’s a rare note of regret in there somewhere that makes me ask again if it has all been worth it. “My
family always say I tend to jump into things - even though they may be wrong. And then I try so hard to
make them right that, in the end, they seem like the right decision. It’s no good regretting anything.”
“Don’t do it.”
It sounds like Ponsonby’s background talking. Regrets, in her own phrase, would be “not cricket”. Yet the
same person who in one breath can proclaim “I am a woman, I am woman, I am a woman” can in the next
suggest that if the father (”gloomy Willie, we called him”) of the great (female) love of Rhodri’s youth
had not blocked their marriage, he would have lived happily ever after as a man.
“The price I’ve paid, if you will insist on putting it that way, is that there is nobody like me. When I was
at school, in the Army, in farming, or out hunting, there was always someone like me. Now I’m totally on
my own.
“What, I ask, would Miranda advise anyone reading this article and contemplating a sex change? The
answer comes back in a flash. “Don’t do it.”
__________________________________________________________
80
Triangu
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whe
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WHY?
There are Loooads
more, so send yours in
and we’ll make this a
regular thing!
81
AMAYI’S
FILM
REVIEW
“Transformers”
“Transformers” is a wet dream
for fans, with vehicles that
whiz and whir into alien robots,
spectacular sci-fi stunt chases,
glistening military hardware,
overheated computer software
and brainy, hot girls who love
Popular Mechanics. It’s a
Michael Bay movie based on a
Hasbro line of toys that perfectly
captures adolescent fascination
with mechanical things you
can take apart and put back
together.
The movie is noisy fun, with characters and plot lines kept
simple and flash of comedy that hit home more often than
not. Most importantly, the filmmakers have shrewdly selected
their young cast. Shia LaBeouf is one of the hottest young
actors on the planet at the moment, with the surprise hit
thriller “Disturbia” and excellent lead vocal performance in
the animated comedy “Surf’s Up” already behind him this year.
Megan Fox and Rachael Taylor add terrific sex appeal in roles
designed to emphasize female capability and intelligence. And
singer-actor Tyrese Gibson and Josh Duhamel are the smartlooking military dudes who take on the aliens at street level.
The movie’s appeal definitely will expand beyond fanboys
and sci-fi addicts to include older “kids” who grew up with
the Transformers toys and comic books. DreamWorks and
Paramount should be well rewarded for their deep-pocketed
faith in this potential franchise with a global hit.
This is not the first cinematic outing for the mechanical
warriors. A 1986 animated movie was based on the original
“Transformers”
Television shows, which was based, of course, on the
popular multiform robot toy line. It didn’t go over well at the
box-office. (That tooner, incidentally, was set in 2005.) But
now Bay and an army of visual designers have successfully
re-imagined a photorealistic world in which these Titans can
believably clash.
The best thing in the script by Roberto Orci and Alex
Kurtzman (from a story by Orci, Kurtzman and John Rogers) is
how a teen plot line gets tied into the fate of the world. Young
Sam Witwicky (LaBeouf), who’s nerdy but funny and sort of
cool, gets a mysterious car from his dad, a banged-up ‘76
Chevy Camaro that he only later discovers is an alien robot.
Now that’s a way to get a girl’s attention!
That girl, with the arresting name of Mikaela (Fox), has
been in school with him for years but never really noticed him.
One day she accepts a ride from him and finds herself caught
up in a war of the worlds. Seems an ancestor of Sam made
a discovery in the Arctic Circle that prompts the bad guys -sorry, robots -- to target Sam, who unknowingly holds the key
to mankind’s survival -- if he hasn’t already sold it on eBay.
Two robotic races -- the evil Decepticons and the heroic
Autobots -- hide out on Earth as cars, trucks, 18-wheeler
tractors, Hummers, jets or even a boom box before grinding
and expanding into their robotic essence. These are CGIerrific moments, courtesy of Industrial Light + Magic, that
will have fanboys leaping from their seats. All these techno
creatures have feelings and emotions, you understand, which
leads to the film’s most amusing moment, when Sam’s Camaro
performs wheelies after his girlfriend “insults” the car. Its
radio also plays tunes that fit the mood.
The filmmakers create three other sets of characters: A group
of computer hackers headed by Taylor and Anthony Anderson,
who no less than the U.S. Secretary of Defense (Jon Voight)
desperately appoints as his “advisers”; surviving military
members of an alien attack on a U.S. base in the Middle East,
led by Duhamel and Gibson, who somehow wind up duking it
out with the aliens in downtown Los Angeles; and shadowy
anti-alien agents led by John Turturro.
The snarl of action and story lines is sometimes awkward,
but at least the audience can identify with characters
wherever the robots choose to rumble. No faceless multitudes
screaming and fleeing here as in the Godzilla movies of old.
Clearly, none of this would work if Bay had not adroitly
coordinated the stunts, animation and characters, both real
and mechanical. A thanks goes to a team of editors, who have
made good sense of all the action. On the debit side, sound
levels are all too high, and the score pushes harder than
necessary.
While he has long been a master of mayhem, on this
occasion Bay weds his visual dazzle to material that carries
the action smoothly. This is an extravaganza rather than
overwrought excess. As one young boy exclaims upon seeing
his first robot, “This is 10 times cooler than ‘Armageddon’!”
83
“Pirates of the
Caribbean at worlds
end”
The movie begins with a
terrifying image: a line of pirates
and their accused confederates
shuffling on chained feet to the
gallows, with a narrator citing an
all-too-modern-sounding list of
suspended rights. But this is no
message movie. Soon we’re on
another wild ride from the tropics
to the frozen wastes, as we pick up
what happened since we last saw
Jack in “Pirates of the Caribbean:
Dead Man’s Chest” (pulled into the deep in the clutches of a
kraken) and follow the last battles between the free-roaming
pirates and their allies against their nemeses from the East
India Co., along with the final resolution of the contentious
romance between Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley) and Will
Turner (Orlando Bloom).
The capper to 2003’s “Pirates of the Caribbean: The
Curse of the Black Pearl” and 2006’s “Dead Man’s Chest”
was actually shot concurrently with the second (not
incidentally, the third-highest international grosser of
all time), and when they say “World’s End,” they’re not
kidding. The movie plunges us down to Davy Jones’
locker, then hurls us into a series of violent voyages and
confrontations in arctic wastes, South Sea isles and
galleon-shredding gales, with Sparrow, the beauteous
Swann, her sword-swain Turner and Sparrow’s glibly
treacherous rival captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush)
clashing with their deadly 18th Century pursuers, led by
the smugly murderous Cutler Beckett (Tom Hollander).
Also in the fray: the pirates of the Singapore led by Chow
Yun-Fat as the ill-tempered Capt. Sao Feng, and, aboard
the Flying Dutchman, Beckett’s enforcer, relentless
Davy Jones himself (Bill Nighy, still sprouting tentacles
and face glop). By the time of the film’s climactic
fight, everyone left alive is being hurled around by a
full-scale sea battle, waged in what seems a neartyphoon, with everyone slashing away like Errol Flynn on
amphetamines.
As advertised, Rolling Stone Keith Richards shows up at
a pirate conference as the keeper of the pirate code, even
strumming a tune on a period guitar. (It wasn’t “You Got the
Silver,” but then, he doesn’t fall out of a coconut tree here
either.)
The movie is almost too much. Director Gore Verbinski and
producer Jerry Bruckheimer have packed “World’s End” with
so much explosive action, opulent decor and surreal scenes
of mayhem and madness -- including a mass crab-and-ship
exodus, an apocalyptic-looking waterfall and life-size and
miniature hallucinatory clones of Capt. Jack, some capering
around Depp’s mane and shoulder -- that sometimes it’s
overwhelming. This sequel is frenziedly imaginative, where the
first “Pirates” was sunny, fey and friendly (like Sparrow) and
the second a rollicking romp.
“Dead Man’s Chest” and “World’s End” were conceived
together by the original writers, Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio
(who also co-wrote the first “Shrek”). But “Dead Man’s
Chest” is mostly buildup and “World’s End” is mostly payoff.
Fortunately Depp is around to keep Capt. Jack and the movie
subversively off-track and delightfully imaginative. The most
characteristic scenes are not so much the ferocious sea
battles but moments such as Capt. Jack’s wordplay or the way
Davy Jones uses a tentacle-tip to flick away a tear.
Verbinski is far more interested in acting and performance
than most high-tech blockbuster-makers, and the supporting
roles, especially by Rush, Chow, Nighy and Naomie Harris as
Tia Dalma, give Depp a tasty backdrop.
What we love about pirate movies and myths, of course, is
their mix of adventure, freedom and naughtiness, and Verbinski
and Depp again capture all three. In the end, “Pirates of the
Caribbean: At World’s End,” with its added doses of fantasy
and even some piercing social comment (about Beckett and
the government’s rights-trampling tyranny), does its job. The
movie, extravagant, amusing and exciting, may be only a ride,
but it’s a ride that dazzles.
mwilmington@tribune.com
85
Ratatouille
Cheese wiz: Pixar’s ‘Ratatouille’
serves up magic with its touching
tale of a rodent chef
Like a lot of people, I don’t pretend
to know how the folks at Pixar do
it. How do they make you love a
rat? This isn’t merely a question of
technology, although the technical
questions persist (where exactly
does the camera go?). It’s more of
a spiritual matter. How do you give
a rat a soul? I don’t really want to
know. I’ll just be a child about it: It’s
magic. I know it’s magic because the week I saw Pixar’s
new movie, “Ratatouille ,” there was a small rodent invasion
at my home, and I left this movie worried that one of my
traps might fatally snap on a gourmet rat like Remy, the
movie’s star. This is crazy, but there you have it. Voiced by
the comedian Patton Oswalt , Remy is a foodie -- part snob,
part epicure, totally bewildered that no one else can tell the
difference between a morel and chanterelle. This guy is an
alchemist. His obsession with the gustatory possibilities of
mixing ingredients turns out to be serious.
In one lovely sequence, the scene goes black around him
as he tries out a toasted goat cheese, mushroom, rosemary
treat. The combination is a jackpot, and when he tastes it the
screen goes wild with color. These same ingredients, eaten
by his dim, gluttonous brother, Emile (Peter Sohn ), leave the
screen comically dulled, like a dud firecracker compared to
Remy’s Fourth of July sparklers.
Sadly, Remy has been living with Emile, their father, Django
(Brian Dennehy ), and about a zillion other rats in the streets
and sewers, using his refined olfactory sense to detect
whether the food swiped from the garbage by his grubby,
uncultured colony contains poison. He wants more for himself.
He wants to be a chef at a five-star restaurant, not one for
rodents, one for people -- people who happen to hate rodents.
His father detests humans and forbids Remy to walk like homo
sapiens (when he does, it’s to keep his paws clean).
After he’s separated from the colony, Remy’s wish begins to
come true. He’s swept to the surface of a city he’s shocked to
discover is Paris (it gleams like a Fabergé egg). Not only that,
he’s in the kitchen of his favorite chef’s restaurant. The late
Gusteau (Brad Garrett) produced a culinary legacy that the
current head chef -- a gnome named Skinner (Ian Holm) with
Peter Lorre’s face -- is guiltily leasing as a series of downmarket microwaveable dinners (Chopsocky Pockets!).
Up to this moment, “Ratatouille,” which Brad Bird has
lovingly written and directed, is sweetly conventional. It’s
just the classic up-from-nothing, don’t-forget-where-you-camefrom story. It’s “The Jazz Singer.” It’s “Ratz n the Hood.” But
in the kitchen, which is Remy’s obstacle course, and around
Paris, “Ratatouille” becomes exceptional. A whooshing kinetic
energy takes over. The movie doesn’t have to strain for liftoff
the way Pixar’s “Cars” did (that movie had a Volvo’s boxiness.
“Ratatouille” keeps inventing surprises.
Remy arrives at the restaurant the same day a ropey, meek
American kid named Linguini (Lou Romano) shows up: He’s
Gusteau’s son. The kid is handed a garbage boy job, but when
Remy catches him fiddling with a pot of soup, he instinctively
swoops in to improve it. The restaurant has lost one of its
five stars, and the menu hasn’t changed in ages, but the soup
is a hit, and a disbelieving Skinner commands the unwitting
Linguini to do it again. So the movie sets out to forge a
friendship between gangly heir and rat.
They strike a deal in a beautiful nighttime sequence on the
banks of the Seine. Afterward , the young man takes the young
rodent home to his small apartment with a fabulous view.
There Remy tries to transfer his instincts to Linguini by pulling
his hair (when the rats in this movie speak, all the humans
hear are their squeaks ). Only Sonny Chiba teaching Uma
Thurman how to be a samurai in “Kill Bill” is more amusing
and lovingly detailed.
Bird has written up a storm. With Remy under his hat,
Linguini has to cook more soup, while fooling Skinner, who
swears he can smell a rat, and winning over the rest of the
Gusteau kitchen staff, including the lone woman (Janeane
Garofalo ) , whom he likes. There is the business of the
legitimacy of Linguini’s parentage (it could obstruct Skinner’s
inheritance of the restaurant) and Remy’s reunion with his
brother, dad, and brood.
There are breakups, make ups, the reluctant appearance
of the country’s most important restaurant critic (Peter
O’Toole ), and one marvelously nauseating passage in which
dozens of sous-chef rats break every health code violation
in the book. “Ratatouille” might be the year’s most densely
plotted Hollywood movie. By the second hour, it’s definitely
the strangest. Sweetbreads become a must-have dish. And
seriously: Rats stir pots and chop veggies! If this is revolting
(and it is), the movie is also touching in small but profound
ways.
For one thing, all the voice work here is excellent,
especially Oswalt’s. He sounds like Paul Giamatti but with a
greater capacity for confidence. He makes Remy’s excitement
over being in a kitchen contagious. For another, Bird and the
animators have thought of everything. Yeah, the bodies are
diverse and life like. And, indeed, the food looks delicious
( Linguini awakes to an omelet from Remy that brought
tears to my eyes; and the movie’s title dish belongs in the
Louvre before it belongs on a plate). But it’s the even smaller
moments that are truly dazzling: grains of salt on a counter,
the drop of faucet water Remy uses to wash his paws,
the stray crumbs on the floor discreetly under carts and
along baseboards, the way the restaurant critic looks like
something Klimt would have painted if he lived in a morgue.
This isn’t pedantic design. It’s perfection.
Bird also wrote and directed “The Incredibles ,” Pixar’s
best movie, and there’s a generosity of human spirit here
that unites the two . In “Ratatouille,” that spirit even extends
to that joyless food critic. His response to a meal is so
nearly Proustian that it inspires an eloquent and respectful
review about a work of art that opens your eyes and rewires
your senses. I knew what he meant. A few hours after
“Ratatouille,” I replaced the Velveeta in my mouse trap with a
piece of gruyere.
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One Girl’s Story.... Carolyne Grundy
Three months after I was born Adolph Hitler
declared war on Britain so starting World War
Two. It has never been established, beyond
reasonable doubt, that my birth brought about
the Second World War but I’d better not say any
more about it in case I get ‘spirited’ away by
some foreign power.
I was born ‘out-of-wedlock’, as the saying
was in those days, and it carried a far greater
stigma then that it does today. Females who
found themselves in this situation were often
ostracised by their families and friends and
treated as pariahs by almost everyone else.
As I was born in a Church of England nursing
home in London it was apparently decreed,
by the Church Authorities, that I should be
Fostered and raised in the Anglican faith and
not, as I later discovered, in the Methodist faith
that my foster parents had followed since their
childhood.
We lived in a four bed roomed house in
North London not far from Fairy Aviation,
where Father worked, and HMV, later to become
a munitions factory, where Mum worked. My
genetic Mum who was ‘in service’ came to visit
me every three or four weeks and my memories
of that time are filled with joy and happiness.
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As a very small boy, probably 2 or 3 years old, I can remember my genetic father
wearing army battle dress teaching me to wink through the dining room window. My
genetic father was the nephew of Walter de la Mare the English poet and novelist, who died
in 1956, and I must have inherited some of the genes as I have a great love of poetry and
literature.
My foster parents had a niece who was the same age and build as I was; I well remember
that whenever Granny or Mum bought clothes for her they would take me upstairs and
dress me in whatever they had bought for her to check size and fit. I was sometimes like
a dress-makers dummy to them and this could well have been the foundation of my great
lifelong love of feminine clothes. I can recall, as a boy, going to bed each night and secretly
praying that I would wake up as a girl.
My genetic mum’s family came from Northern
England and after the war ended, during school
summer holidays, I used to travel alone by train,
to stay with one of her brothers and his family.
In those days the train journey was well over
four hours, and I was placed in the care of the
train guard for the duration of the journey. Hence
another foundation, my great love of travel, which
thanks to my later army and business careers, I
have done a great deal of thankfully at someone
else’s expense.
In the late 1940’s, with my real mum’s
permission, I relocated to Northern England and
went to live with her brother (who became my
official Guardian) and his family with whom I
had spent my summer holidays. Between then
and the mid-50’s when I left school, I became
interested in sport, particularly rugby and cricket
and became an above average exponent of both, at
school and later on in life, and all the time longing
for someone who could help me release the ‘girl’
that I knew existed within me. Regretfully at that
time it didn’t happen.
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A couple of months after leaving school I
enlisted in the army, where I spent the next
25 years of my life. For the first three years
I underwent military and specialist technical
training and when I went ‘home’ on leave would
eagerly await times when I could be alone in the
house so I could dress in my Aunt’s clothes and
use her make-up, it was like being in heaven to
me but it never lasted long enough, 2 or 3 hours
at a time at most. I recall one occasion quite
vividly whilst home on leave. It wasn’t long
after tights became fashionable and I timidly
went into a local store and purchased a pair,
hurried home up to my room and put them on.
I can still remember that glorious feeling
as the nylon whispered up my legs to this day.
Putting my trousers on over them and secretly
feeling very pleased with myself, as I sat for my
meal with the family that I was wearing tights
and, no one could possibly know. Similar to
now, as I have my toe-nails permanently painted
a delicious red and only one or two special
friends know. My female cousin, who lived in
the same house, was by this time maturing into
a very attractive young teenager and much to
my private joy I found that I could ‘get into’
some of her very pretty ‘A’ line dresses, skirts
and blouses fashionable at the time. More little
bits of heaven for me and they never found out,
or at least if they did they never admitted it.
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As with most young soldiers I was almost permanently ‘short of funds’ and to gain extra
money found myself volunteering for Parachute Training as, after qualifying, one received
an extra 6 shillings a day, 30 pence in today’s money. Not a lot but it helped. I continued
to ‘dress’ whenever I went home on leave. Then following active service in what was then
called Aden (now Peoples Democratic Republic of South Yemen) and Malaya I found myself
on a special assignment to Kuwait, to train the Kuwaiti forces in the repair and maintenance
of weaponry and specialist equipment. It was whilst I was there that the inevitable happened,
I met and fell in love with a Nursing Sister from the North East of England and we were
married in 1974, and on returning from Kuwait I was stationed in Northern Ireland, amidst
all the ‘troubles’.
During the majority of this time I didn’t get much chance to dress, and my wife never did find
out about Carolyne. She was much slimmer than I was so I couldn’t wear her clothes. When
I left the services in 1979 after 25 years and three medals, I took up employment in Middle
England (Bedfordshire) and whenever my eldest niece came to stay with us I enjoyed brief
sojourns into femininity in her clothes, when she was out shopping with my wife. Again all
too brief a glimpse of what I perceived as heaven.
“I continued to ‘dress’ whenever
I went home on leave”
One of the conditions of my then employment with a specialist weapons design and
development company, was that I should have a separate Bank Account from my wife; don’t
ask me why, to this day I’ve never been able to figure it out. However to a certain extent it
gave me a little ‘freedom’ and on various travels around London and the Home Counties I
discovered the phenomenon of ‘Dressing Services’. Places where ‘girls’ like me could go,
and for a price, dress as we desired and have make-up applied by ‘professionals’ and be the
woman one had always wanted to be, for a few hours at least. Needless to say I used such
‘services’ off and on for quite a few years because I hadn’t the courage to buy any ‘clothes’
of my own and hide them at home for fear of discovery.
It transpired that I was very successful in my chosen field and travelled widely as Head
of United Kingdom delegations to International conferences, and gained quite a reputation
as being one of the top people, world wide, in my field. No-one ever knew or even suspected
that there was still a female inside me longing for release, but that wasn’t to come for a few
more years.
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Then, following a hectic time internationally when I spent more time away from my home
than in it, my wife and I split up. I moved out and rented a flat some 10 miles away from my
matrimonial home. I sent away for some female clothing catalogues and started, through trial
and error, discovering what dress size I was and where I could get lovely high heeled shoes
in my size UK 9, with a modicum of success. I still occasionally used ‘dressing services’ but
more at this time for advice and to purchase items of make-up as I still didn’t have enough
courage to go and buy make up from the chemist or local store. I also hadn’t met anyone, face
to face, who was a T*Girl like me. However life was partially heavenly, if you understand
what I mean.
After a few years the rent on the flat was becoming prohibitive, and I had a divorce pending,
so I decided to buy my own place, a three bed roomed semi-detached house in the next
village to where my old flat had been, the monthly mortgage repayments being far less than
the monthly flat rental.
Now my ‘girly’ life could take on a new dimension, I had space to hang my female
outfits (which far outnumber my drab ones) and store my make-up, and Carolyne now has a
bedroom of her own, which is wonderful.
“from secretary to cocktail dress”
Not long after I moved into my house I discovered a web site dedicated to people like
me called Fantasy Girl run by Sue Sheppard, and after registering met up with my first
‘special’ T*Girl friend, Wendy, and over the subsequent two years we have become very
close. Through the same website I have met and built up a close circle of T*Girl friends who
live relatively close. Some of us meet at my house once a week for a lovely girly afternoon /
evening and I cook us all a meal, and we laugh a giggle well into the small hours.
Up until late 2006 I had didn’t have any decent photographs of Carolyne, so I sought out
someone who could oblige, and hit upon Pandora de Pledge in London. One day in November
2006 I spent over 8 wonderful hours being pampered and dressed in various outfits, from
secretary to cocktail dress to evening wear having make-up professionally applied and lots
if pics being taken. Although a little ‘pricey’ it was a fantastic day and I came away with
my own DVD with many pics of Carolyne, some of which appear under my Fantasy Girl
ID (24038). I actually printed four of them onto an A4 sheet to show the ladies at Doreen’s
Fashions what I wanted in the line of wigs etc. This sheet of 4 pics was to come in very useful
later in my life.
93
My next door neighbour has a 22 / 23 year old daughter called Lucy, who on repayment
does my garden for me. One day over coffee in my back garden she asked me who were
the people that visited me once a week, to which I replied they were all Transvestites or
Transexuals who came round for ‘counselling’, something not very far from the truth. She
then asked if I’d ever tried it (dressing). “No, but I’d thought about it” I lied.
A little while later Lucy and I were chatting at my front door and she said I should throw
a nice big BBQ for my ‘girls’. Then she added that I should go out and buy myself a pretty
floral dress with all the accoutrements and join them, then she grinned and left. To say the
least I was ‘taken aback’ wondering if she knew, or had detected, more than she was letting
on. I should also add that, at that time, I had recently purchased a lovely floral summer dress
from Marks & Spencer, which was modelled by Twiggy, which I adore. A couple of weeks
later Lucy was working in my back garden and, with my heart pounding, I asked her to come
into my lounge for a cup of coffee as I had something to tell her. In a large opaque envelope
I’d placed the sheet with the four pics on it. I asked her to sit down.
“When the bell rang I rose to
greet her with my heart pounding,”
I asked her to promise that what she was about to hear she wouldn’t relate to another
living soul without my permission, to which she agreed. I then, as we say, ‘came out to her,’
even to the extent of showing her my red painted toe-nails, with my heart beating faster than
at any time in my life, even when I was jumping out of aeroplanes. I was perspiring quite
freely and feeling more than a little ‘emotional’. Lucy came over sat beside me, put her arm
across my shoulders and said that she thought I was very brave and that she would help me
in any way she could, from plucking my eyebrows to help with make-up and advice on what
clothes to order from my catalogues. Lucy also said that when she thought I was ‘ready’ she
would accompany me on my first walk around the crescent as Carolyne. This time I felt that
I really was in heaven, seventh heaven.
Lucy subsequently agreed to come to one of our parties after we had finished eating;
bearing in mind we would be all completely dressed. She has her own key and the plan
was, following a mobile phone call from me, she was to come round ring the bell and come
down the passage to the dining room. When the bell rang I rose to greet her with my heart
pounding, the first thing she said was, “You look amazing, and I love that skirt!” Heaven
time again. She then joined us and we spent a wonderful couple of hours or so talking about
our life styles and how we came to be what and where we were at that time.
94
I feel I have now reached a wonderfully happy equilibrium in my life with Carolyne
playing an increasing role as time progresses. I’ve been developing my own
breasts with the help of Mirifem Tablets and Cream, also available from Sue Sheppard, and
I’m happy to say that I can more than adequately fill a 38B bra, my aim being to grow to 38C
by Christmas.
So there you have it, I’ve progressed from top ‘roughy toughy’ sportsman, soldier and
paratrooper, and successful business man, all the time yearning for the ‘girl within’ to be
given the chance to escape, to my now happy life with many friends who know and love
me for what I am, and not what other people think I should be. In amongst those friends
I would like to mention our Editor, the lovely Mandy, and thank her for all her help and
encouragement, her gorgeous sense of humour and for allowing me space to tell you this
‘One Girls Story’
95
ACROSS
GOLDEN
POND
By Lisa Gayle
It’s midnight on Sunday, July 8 as I write
Hmph!
this. I would be happily snoozing away the long
weekend if it were not for the fact that the editor/
publisher of this e-zine is standing over me with
a whip, forcing me to write an article before
the deadline (which is already past, but I’m
conveniently glossing over that little fact) Are you
all picturing Mandy with a whip? How many of
you have added a black leather bustier and boots
to your mental image? Hmmmm.... I wonder...
Should we all demand a photo shoot like that for
our intrepid photo-hound? That ought to keep her
busy for a while, eh? (Insert wicked little snickers
here)
Anyway, the weekend was spent in Sterling Forest at the annual Renaissance Festival.
Well, Saturday anyway. Sunday was boring and included a 4 hour drive back home. Have
you ever been to a Renaissance Festival? That’s where folks who live in a fantasy world
dress in clothes they would never wear in everyday life gather together and pretend to be
someone other than their ordinary selves. Wait a minute. That’s a lot like a TG convention
isn’t it? But we all do it with so much more style.
Seriously. These events are put on by various groups, most notably, SCA, the Society
for Creative Anachronism. Here the parallel ends. TG’s live the lives they feel they must
express and never really abandon the feminine when they must be in boy mode. SCA folks
truly believe that all societal development reached it’s zenith and effectively stopped in
1585AD. TG’s can function in the modern world in either male or female mode, indeed, it’s
easier now than it’s ever been in history to be a trans person. Not much call these days for
a knight who is a professional jouster.
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But it was all fun. Watching people play and get into the spirit of the age. (No frippin’ way this girl
would want to live in those times! Although, they sure did know how to show off a cleavage. And
the bawdiness is contagious...) Thee were lots of vendors and we got some really nice silver jewelry.
Unfortunately, it was all for my wife. Drat. There were lots of events and shows too. Most of them
were loosely period. There were acrobats and sword-swallowers, magicians and farce troupes. All
were entertaining. Thankfully, the food was only named and presented in period fashion. It was all
regular food, prepared in modern sanitary facilities. The other “facilities” were clean too. Thank
god THOSE weren’t accurate to the period.!
It was an interesting day. Not sure I’d want to go every year as the friends who took us all do, but
it was sure better than mowing the lawn.
Switching. As many of you know, I’m not out to my family. If I were to come out to my wife, I
wouldn’t have a family. Instant divorce. So Lisa only gets out when the opportunity arises. Which
isn’t often enough for me. But you don’t want to listen to me complain. All in all I’m pretty happy.
But it does mean that I sometimes dress at strange times. Case in point: I drive a school bus for a
job and so have the middle of the day off. I’m home at 9am and don’t have to be back to work til
1pm. So I have three to four hours mid day. Seems a shame to waste them. Don’t you think?
Well I was up in Schenectady one Sunday recently, in a part of town I don’t usually visit, when I
saw a sign in a store window. It was a “consignment shop”. A store where folks bring unwanted
but good condition items and offer them for sale. The shop owner takes a commission. These can
be great sources of feminine clothes at dirt cheap prices. For example: I found a lovely black
pencil skirt at one shop for $2. Also found a maroon ball gown with lace over wrap for only $15.
Needless to say I’m a fan of consignment shops. The down side of them is that there is no size
selection. If you find something that’s perfect, chances are it will not be your size and you’ll walk
out frustrated. Still there are times when it all comes together. That’s when you walk out with an
arm full of great clothes for next to nothing.
So the thing is that this shop was having a going out of business clearance. I absolutely had to go
in. Unfortunately, I was with my wife at the time so I would have to make a second trip. Come
Monday morning, I was off to work and being that it was getting very near to the end of the school
year, the kids were berserk. When I got home at 9, I really wanted to relax some. I needed to be
Lisa for a while. So I changed into a pretty maroon vee neck blouse and black mid thigh skirt with
black pumps and put on makeup and got my wig on and as I was fastening my necklace, (No mean
feat with long nails I might point out) I remembered that I intended to go to the consignment shop.
Since I have only ever been shopping en femme once in my life and that was a long way from
home, I had a decision to make. Get back into boy mode and go check out the shop, or stay dressed
and give it a bye for the day. Well I was dressed already and it would be a waste to undo it all, so
maybe I’ll just wait til tomorrow, thinks I. But then I remembered, the next three days were half
days for the kids and there would be no more mid days this school year. Now what?
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Well ladies, I made a decision. I went shopping. But you know what? I did it en femme. I drove
over there and since there was no parking lot I had to park half a block away. That meant
walking down the street in Schenectady in the middle of the day. I was nervous to say the least,
but I held my head up like I belonged there and walked right down that street. Right past a car
repair place that I hadn’t even noticed because I was so focused on the consignment shop. The
young guys who worked at the garage were outside doing something under the hood (sorry.
“Bonnet”) of a car. All jeans and “wife-beater” shirts (stained white sleeveless undershirts for
those of you who don’t get the reference. The kind of shirt you see on low class guys who beat
their wives. Hence...) Cigarettes dangling from their mouths. This might not have been my best
idea, but I couldn’t back down now. I walked past without looking at them, just as any real
woman would. All the while I was trying to keep watch on them from the corner of my eye lest
I need make a run for it. I think two of them were checking out my legs but none of them said
anything. Phew!
In the store the owner was very nice and asked me if I needed any help. I said no and looked
through the rack with my size clothes on it. I found two gorgeous dresses, both green. One a
cocktail dress an the other was possibly a bridesmaid dress. Certainly suitable for a formal
evening. The owner called out “If you’d like to try those on, ma’am, the dressing room is over
there.” pointing to the corner. Ma’am! She called me ma’am. Cool. Unfortunately, while those
two dresses were marked my size, they clearly were not. I couldn’t zip either one. And no. I was
not being optimistic about my size either. I’m usually a size 14. Sometimes when I’m lucky with
a brand of clothes, I can get into a 12. A 16 swims on me. One of these was labeled 16 from the
manufacturer and I couldn’t get it zipped. Damn! And that was the one I really really liked too. I
found nothing else that really caught my eye that day so I wound up walking out empty handed
but with an invitation to come back soon from the owner. I thanked her on the way out and
walked back past the grease monkeys to my car. On the way home, I realized that I couldn’t be
disappointed with the trip. I had broken a barrier even if I had not gotten a new dress. So now
it’s summer and I have virtually no alone time. Probably the store will be closed when I do get a
free day, but I guess I’ll try again anyway. And if it’s open, I’ll really look through things to see if
I can at least find one thing. Gotta have something to show for the trip, right? For sure en femme
this time. No hesitation. Although I might park on the other end of the street this time rather
than walk by the seedy garage again.
So maybe there’s a poll in here too? How many of you ladies have shopped en femme? What do
you think oh whip-wielding madam editor? A topic for future issues? Accounts of our readers
first shopping excursion en femme.
Til next time,
Cheers
Lisa
98
Tammi’s
1.
2.
3.
4.
In which year did the Gunpowder Plot take place?
In which Marx Bothers film does the character Rufus T Firefly appear?
In the 1938 film Bringing Up Baby, what is ‘baby’?
Which Italian city is the setting for the film starring Cher and Judi Dench called Tea
With Mussolini?
5. In which UK newspaper did the first crossword appear?
?
?
?
IN
??
?
AT
H
W
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Who
Who
Who
Who
Who
?
??
H
IC
H
Michael Myers is a character in which series of films?
Which perfume house launched the ‘Joy’ perfume in 1930?
Which English artist was president of the Royal Academy in 1768?
Which sea has no land borders?
Which actress is the voice of Homer Simpson’s mother?
W
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Torment’s
QUIZ
1. What is the name of the police chief The Simpsons?
2. What is the assistant to the chief electrician of a film crew called?
3. What was the name of the department store in the UK 1970’s TV show Are You
Being Served?
4. Which artist painted The Watering Place?
5. What is the currency of Iran?
is the Roman God of the sea?
was the first leader of Polish trade union Solidarity?
directed the 1960 film The Alamo?
was cartoonist William Hannah’s professional partner?
wrote the opera Cosi fan Tutte?
99
W
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??
?
Split Personalities!!
1
2
3
4
5
6
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8
9
10
100
Your in the
A
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Now!!
101
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62
!!
%
Congratulations
Rachel xx
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Donna
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I’ve just started a new blog dedicated to
the whole gamut of matters pertaining to the tg
community, and I am looking for lots of people to
visit and comment on my posts.
A blog cannot thrive without lively, engaged
commenters, so please come by, read the postings,
and feel free to express your valuable thoughts, to
me and in dialogue with one another. Freewheeling,
wide open discussion is encouraged. This blog
is going to be fresh, exhilarating, sexy, rippingly
funny, uplifting, cynical, surprising and provocative,
in ways unlike any other, so I am sure you will enjoy
it, and I know you can help me make it even better
with your input. The blog URL is:
http://donnaqueen.com
I look forward to hearing from you!
Donna Queen
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Hororscope
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
You probably know more than you are willing to say,
for the consequences could be disastrous if you let the
entire truth out of the. Holding on to information today
can increase your feeling of power, and although this is a
sensible strategy, you must be careful. Others will likely
know that you’re up to something and might want to take
you to task. Do whatever you can to ease the tension
without assuming an aggressive posture.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Although your tendency is to decline a today, you
still could be cajoled into participating. This doesn’t
mean you dislike the people involved; it’s just that you
might rather be alone so you can concentrate on your
feelings. Unfortunately, the decision may be beyond
your control, so don’t let passive resistance stand in
the way of what others have to offer. Remember, this
isn’t a major commitment; it’s only about the present
moment.
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Libra (September 23 - October 22)
You may not have enough control over your personal life
today, especially if you have to be a caretaker for someone
else. After all, you don’t like letting others down when they
rely on you. Even if you resent the role you must play, save
your complaining for another day. Sharing your annoyance
will not bring you happiness. Instead, serve with a smile
that truly originates from your heart.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
One of the hardest things for you arises from your deep
understanding of what is lost between the intensity of your
experiences and your attempts to express them. Today,
this gulf is wide and could leave you with an irresolvable
sadness. Don’t make it worse by trying to fit your emotions
into words. About them in a day or two will be less
frustrating and more fruitful.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
It’s easy to get all worked up as someone pushes your
emotional buttons. You want to be up front, but don’t
know whether to direct your irritation at this person for
provoking you or at yourself for allowing them to hook you
into a drama. Don’t waste energy trying to find an outlet
for your frustration; instead use your energy to clarify
what is truly important to you. This can ease the tension
and help you feel more centered.
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Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
You are moving through a phase where others seem needy,
yet you don’t have the time or patience to give them what
they want. You may feel like you could quickly fall in over
your head without a chance to create the boundaries that
are necessary for you. Your tendency is to withdraw in
order to avoid a difficult situation. Remember, only the timid
will run. Be courageous and get as close to the edge as you
can.
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
Others can pick up on your high-strung nervous energy
that is just beneath the surface. The problem is that if
they think you are distressed, they’ll want to jump in and
you -- and this is not your preference. You may need to be
left alone to your own devices today. Even with someone
in your space, short meditations throughout the day can
help settle your anxiety.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
It’s not easy to be as creative as you feel when
others make demands of you. You may not be able
to avoid the discomfort, but you can get away with
doing what you want without upsetting anyone.
No one needs to know that you are truly in control
of your inner world, as long as you don’t too much
information. Remember that staying aware of your
process can minimize the negative impact of your
emotions.
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Aries (March 21 - April 19)
You might try to keep your feelings to yourself today,
for you may fear that they can be used against you if
you share them. Your anxieties stem from the incorrect
assumption that being vulnerable is a sign of weakness.
Instead of exposing all the details of your issues, at least
let someone know that you are afraid. Your honesty will be
seen as a sign of strength and can tilt the situation your
way.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You settle into a reserved frame of mind today and others
will not easily sway you from your previously determined
course of action. You feel as if you have come to your
senses and are comfortable with what is going on.
Although your no-nonsense attitude will likely get you
through the day, you could get into trouble if you don’t
pay attention to the more subtle influences at play.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
You may be quite attuned to your feelings now that your
key planet Mercury is in sensitive. Today your emotions
are complex and you could have a hard time meeting the
expectations of others. Even if you know what you want,
you may have to keep your thoughts to yourself. Evade
direct confrontation, for if you express everything openly,
no one will come out a winner. It will be easier to tackle
tough issues tomorrow.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Your attention to detail can get in the way of what must
happen now. Although it could take a leap of faith to leave
loose ends untied, this will work out for the best. The more
energy you put into specifics, the greater the demands
become on your time. So step back to see the whole
picture before deciding how to proceed.
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“
As Voted...”
CHOICES AND RESULTS
- Toolbelt Diva
5 Votes , 9%
- Gypsy
11 Votes , 21%
- Goth Chic 18 Votes,35%
- Tartan terror
7 Votes ,13%
- Angel
4 Votes ,7%
- Devil
6 Votes ,11%
Now then gang, you may notice a subtle lil difference in this
months pics. Some of you already know, but for those of you who
are too busy looking at my bum to notice, this is my first ‘official’
shoot without the use of a safety net.....YES!! I’ve DITCHED THE
WIG!!!
It’s a bit of a big step for me, but one that came about from going to the Sparkles weekend in Manchester. A good time was had
by all, but I’m afraid that I came away with more questions about
myself than I had answers. I felt a fraud, not me , not the TRUE
me, all I began to see in the mirror was a parody with a wig on top,
and that is not who I am. So the decision was made to go for it and
have my own hair cut and styled as a female.
It was such a feeling of elation having it done, admittedly it
feels like I’m ‘coming out’ all over again as people ‘know’ me by
now and have a preconceived idea of my look, so to come out without my disguise is a bit of a biggy!
So on that note, I hope you like this months shoot and enjoy
the pics as much as I enjoyed taking them.
Hugs
M
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xxx
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Ho
pe
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Yo
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Li
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xx
QUIZ
ANSWERS
Quiz answers from June/July issue
?
?
?
IN
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Black
War of the Roses
Polo
1973
Carl Douglas
?
??
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Testicles
Bracelona
Carry on Cruising
Cheers
The Marcia Blaine School for Girls
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Rose Tyler
Gene Wilder
Kathleen Turner
John Travolta
Whitney Houston
W
Picture Quiz
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
H
W
IC
H
Vasco de Gama
Elvis Presley
Wimbledon
Pulp Fiction
Bob Geldof & Midge Ure
H
T
A
W
?
?
?
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Chris Evert
Arthur Ashe
Conchita Martinez
Bjorn Borg
Richard Krajicek
6. Evonne Goolagong
7. Rod Laver
8. Margaret Court
9. Stefan Edberg
10. Venus Williams
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H
O
??
?
Conversion Tables
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BORN TO
SHOP
We all love to shop, but as we all know , from personal experience, some are…
er…friendlier than others. Here’s a few of the better ones, as recommended by
you.
This is my own personal recommendation. The girls the Notting Hill branch were superb.
They couldn’t be friendlier, more welcoming, and professional too. They have a fantastic
range of wigs of all lengths , colours and prices , and I can not recommend this branch of
stores enough
Open till 6, by appointment – latest 5 o’clock
http://www.trendco.co.uk/default.aspx
1) The Casket store: http://www.casketfurniture.com/caskets_coffins.php
A unique store offering casket shaped furniture for the gothic’s
2) The Baroness: Ok rubber and latex fetish store I have seen better and more but the
craftsman-ship looks good and styles are their own
http://www.baroness.com/RubberClothes.htm
3) JT’s Stockroom offers a wide range of fetish things from bondage beds to fetish toys, not a
gigantic selection but enough to satisfy the novice and beginner.
http://www.stockroom.com/search/search.aspx?i=20&search=furniture
4) Lydia’s offers a ok selection of transgender and cross-dressing items again not a wide
selection but a ok one for the beginner and part time.
http://lydiastv.com/osb/showitem.cfm/Category/12
5)Corset Connection: Offers a very wide selection for all types of corsets everything from
waist training to under-bust and to men to woman training corsets, and for those who never
have laced their own corsets they offer a online training film for corset lacing A+.
http://www.corsetconnection.com/Images/Vintage%20Glam/v1117.jpg
6) Xtrax, I love this store humungus selection for the naughty little Goth Girls and boys a
wide wide selection for everything A+.
http://www.x-tra-x.de/english/bilder/heads-os/angebot-1.jpg
7) Extreme Restraint is a awesome store I cant wait to order from them they have everything
and anything from sex machines to the simplest anal plug. http://www.extremerestraints.com/
Merchant2/graphics/00000001/ec715%20lg.jpg
“ Hi Mandy, I have a review for you, Wigsrus ltd in Southport. Recently been
there for a new style they are great. Hugs Julie Hi Ladies, After asking around for
some advice on wigs I plucked up the courage to go and try a new style and I decided
to have it fitted. I took the advise of an Angel and looked up www.wigsrusltd.com at
Southport. This meant going out en femme for the first time and having a stranger see
me as Julie. I made an appointment with Jennie and ventured out into the world as
Julie. Jennie is a fantastic understanding lady; she puts you at ease straight away. All
appointments are one to one and you can try as many styles on as you like. Jennie will
give you advise on styles and colour. After you have chosen your new hair, Jennie
will do the final styling and trim if required. The service was excellent and Jennie
was wonderful, highly recommended. I felt so good and confident With my new style
I had a walk around Southport, then decided to drive over to the Trafford centre and
had a walk around the shops not bad for my first day out.”
Hugs Julie
“ www.frillys.co.uk is a friendly dressing service in Droylsden a town about
4miles from the centre and gay village in Manchester. The owner is called Julie and
she now offers self catering accommodation above her shop.
HOTELS- I use Travelodge and the special offers of £10 & £26 a night per room are
great value. I have never had any problems at these hotels. The only problem I have
had at an hotel was at a gay hotel in Torquay where I got a really frosty welcome to
say the least.
MAKEUP- I don’t use Dermablend because it is expensive and difficult to apply so I
use a Boots No17 cover stick or a Rimmel cover stick both are on sale at about £2.50.
“
Raquel
Hi Mandy!
I order make-up from http://www.blushedcosmetics.co.uk/ . They are very
reliable and discreet with their deliveries even to Holland. And you know the all in
price straight away, no need to email asking for price of postage. And they have a 50p
and GBP1.00 corner!
Kirsty
Contact us on: Tel: +44 1376 322209 or Mobile: +44 7887 723239
Email your general enquiries to:
custsupport@EpilationServices.com
Email your website enquiries to:
webmistress@EpilationServices.com
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TLC
TLC provide a complete range of Fashion and Beauty
related services
Image Consultancy
Personal Shopping
Overseas Chaperone
Beauty & Holistic Therapies
TLC was founded so that these specialised services are
available to anyone and everyone at competetive rates,
anywhere in the world
The team at TLC comprises of Victoria Harrison and Teresa Wrobel.
Both are highly trained in their field and will push all boundaries to ensure your are 100% delighted
with the services TLC offers.
Victoria is herself a post-operative transwoman having very successfully transitioned in December 2005
at the age of 33.
She underwent Sexual Reassignment Surgery in October 2006.
She is obviously fully aware of the particular problems faced by, and the needs of a transwoman. She is
a very creative and artistic individual with a keen eye for fashion and trends and will pass on her wealth
of experience to her clients.
She is an experienced Image Consultant, Stylist, Make-Up Artist and Personal Shopper. She offers the
Chaperone service with a complete personal understanding of your needs having very recently undergone the same surgeries herself.
She is a fully qualified Beauty and Holistic Therapist, Nail Technician and is also a Fashion, Comercial
Print and Artistic Nude Model.
You can see her Model Portfolio using the buttons on the Useful Links page on our site.
Teresa is a fully qualified Beauty and Holistic Therapist, Make-Up Artist, Nail Technician and also a
very experienced Image Consultant.
She is fully aware of the needs of a transwoman as she assisted and supported Victoria throughout her
recent transition.
Both members of the team at TLC are 100% understanding, discrete and are commited to providing the
ultimate service to their cientele.
They are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year anywhere in the world.
http://m2f.mfbiz.com/
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www.frillyfantazy.co.uk
Frilly Fantazy have a vast choice of exciting
Lingerie and Adult entertainment
If you like to live on the wild side of life or just want to
feel sexy, we have an extensive range of products to suit
your needs.
Ordering from Frilly Fantazy couldn’t be easier.
You can visit our website, view our wonderful
range and place your order.
But why not have some fun, invite some friends
around and have a party in your own home
Email: sales@frillyfantazy.co.uk
Tel: 07951 615595
Address: Frilly Fantazy Ltd. 5 Liberty Square, Kings Hill, West malling. Kent. ME19 4AU
Office hours are between 9:00 am and 5:00 pm Monday - Friday and 9:00 am to 12:00 Saturdays.
“And Now,
The end is near….."
So, another one bites the dust, lets hope
its brought you a lil bit of sunshine, God
knows we could do with it! Many many
thanks to all this months contributors
and to all of you with your kind words
and support.
As you can imagine , things have been
a lil hectic in the weeks that I’ve had to
put this issue together, what with Sparkles, my haircut, school holidays, you
name it, so if this months mag is a lil
disjointed then please accept my apologise.
On the subject of Sparkles, may I take this opportunity to say
how great it was to see so many of you, you are all my dearest friends,
and to actually meet you in person was so very special for me, I feel very
close to you all already, but...you know what I mean xx
I imagine that this year will be my last try at Miss Sparkle, I just
dont seem the be the “ type” of Tg they are looking for, never mind,
next year I will have more time to spend with you all instead!!
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OK, next month is going to be the Halloween special!!! so lets
make it a doozy!!! Also in the pipeline is a resident Agony Aunt,
a lady qualified to help, none of your usual made up stuff, so get
writing if you have any questions you feel we can help with, also,
calling all you “BAD Girls” , heres your forum, time to get yourself heard, Beautiful And Disabled is here and waiting!!
One more thing, there have been a few enquiries as to whether I
can do a “Buy and Sell” page - I will do this on one condition, it
will be for private sale only, NO SHOPS/Profession Sellers, if
you want me to advertise your wares, then that can be done in the
Advert section. So if you have a few items you want to sell, or if
you are looking to buy something specific then let me know at the
usual address. OK gang, I’m off for a long soak, hope you enjoy
and see you all next time round , M xxxxxx
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Editor - in - chief
(Whatever THAT means??!!)
email - mandytaylor6662000@yahoo.co.uk
A
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Amayi - US Based writer and confidant, Author of T-Girl Survival
Guide, Temporary stand-in for Lori’s Film Revue and our very own
Mystic Meg, Author of the Hororscope, this girl is a lil Angel!!
W
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Chloie - US Based Co-Writer and partner of Amayi - Go Girls!!
Gina Stone - South African based writer, Author of “
Fasion By Gina “. She is also due to launch her own fashion outlet
online very soon , so watch this space!!
www.ginastone.com+
Kaz - Bestest mate a girl could have - UK Based GG - Author
of “ Personal Profile “ our new monthly make-up pages & Owner
of the FAB Frillyfantasy online store!
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Joanne - Long-suffering wife of Mandy, roving reporter
and general snoop, the source of “ In the paper’s”.
Joanetlbt@yahoo.co.uk
Lisa-Gayle
- US based writer, Author of "Across
Golden Pond" an ex-pats view of life in the States!
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Alison St John - Centrefold
G
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One Girls Story - Wendy Tarbit
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One Girls Story - Carolyne Grundy
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VOLUME 2
ISSUE 6
OCT/NOV
2007
Halloween
Special!