november 2014 issue

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Pretty T Girls
November 2014
The Magazine for the most beautiful girls in the world
A publication of Pretty T Girls Yahoo group
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Pretty T Girls
November 2014
The Magazine for the most beautiful girls in the world
A publication of Pretty T Girls Yahoo group
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In This Issue
PAGE
Editorial by Barbara Jean
Busting Down The Closet Door Rhonda’s First Time Out
6 Steps to Better Eyelashes
7 “How Did She Do That” Makeup Tricks
How to Clean Up Your Eye Makeup
When Should You Toss Your Beauty Products
Halloween Photos
Attaching Breast Forms
The Adventures of Judy Sometimes
The Exploits of Barbara Marie
Tasi’s Musings
Humor
Angels In the Centerfold
Mellissa’s Tips
7 Secrets to Walking Gracefully in High Heels
History of the Heel
Tasi’s Fashion Corner
How to Wear Fall 2014 Fashion Trends
5 Ways To Tell if Heels Will Hurt Before You Buy Them
How To Accessorize Effectively
Lucille Sorella
10 Ways to Look Girly
6 Tips for Avoiding Transgender Discrimination in the Workplace
The Gossip Fence
Shop Till You Drop
Calendar
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Coming of Age
An Editorial by: Barbara Jean
As I read the news, as I read post on facebook, I have to wonder is transgender
something that is starting to come of age? When it comes to the LGBT
community in the past it seems that the transgender had always been pushed to
the back. The message we always got was “Let us get our agenda and then we
will come for yours”.
Yet this year the Los Angeles pride parade & festival was billed as the TLGB pride, in San Francisco’s
pride parade Chelsea Manning was the honorary grand marshal. At Southern Comfort Chad Griffin of
HRC apologized to the transgender community for the way HRC has wronged our community. OK, on
that I admit I am waiting to see what action HRC will take to back up the apology, still it was good to
hear that apology from the Human Rights Commission. In Las Vegas where I live we have gone from
simply having a transgender day of remembrance to a five day transgender pride week starting with a
march and cumulating with a transgender day of celebration. I read of other cities that now also have a
transgender pride celebration.
As I read post on a transgender Facebook board I see more and more parents who not only accept and
support their transgender child, but actually show pride in them. More and more I read of schools that
have developed policies that are accommodating to the transgender student. Cities and states that have
developed non discrimination laws to protect the transgender.
Still the news is not all good. The highest rate of LGBT hate crimes are against the transgender, the
right still makes bathrooms and showers a big issue. In Minnesota the Catholic conference took out a
full page ad in a Sunday paper asking if people wanted a boy to shower with their 14 year old daughter.
This is in spite that the school policy was to provide the transgender girl with private changing and
shower facilities. Still too I read stories of transgender teachers who have been fired or demoted since
they came out, people in other professions also are being fired because they are transgender. (though
companies never give that as the reason for their dismissal.)
A survey of our group that I conducted last year showed that 90% of our members are over the age of 50.
While many of us do have wives who know, accept, and support us in our being transgender, and some
will even participate with us in various transgender groups or social gatherings. Still many of us must
remain in the closet due to a wife/family member who will not accept. Many of us who have taken the
path to live as the person we are inside have lost so much when it comes to friends and family.
A friend once told me that when the gays win their agenda the next group would have it even harder.
The question comes; Are we that next group? While much has been accomplished, there is still much
work to be done. Two steps forward and one step back, but forward we go.
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Busting Down The Closet Door
First Time Out
By: Rhonda
My situation is different. I was curious to attend a Tri-Ess meeting. I
was nearly 62, but had never met another CD. I had no clothes or wig
and had never tried on jewelry, heels, made myself up, etc. So I was
forced to find a dressing service. I did not intend to go out in public at
all, but within an hour of meeting Ramona she had me made up,
dressed, and out the door to take her to dinner. I never knew what hit
me until I found myself speaking in a male voice to a valet while
trying to daintily extricate myself from the car while wearing high
heels, hose, and other unfamiliar garments. Ramona had me out again
early the next day.. I did not ask where we were even headed until she
walked me into the women's department of Macy's. She picked out
dresses while I ducked behind racks of clothing to avoid observation.
She insisted I try on garments in a women's dressing room. I bought 2 dresses, trying to avoid giving my
picture ID and declining a discount card for that reason. I thought my adventures were over, but
Ramona, being hungry, had me drive to a nearby Chik Filet. I thought we'd go through the drive-up
window but she insisted we wander into the place, packed with teenagers. It spoke to her skills as a make
-up artist that I was not immediately made. That night I met my Tri-Ess sisters for the first time, one of
whom, Barbara Davidson, took me to a Clinique counter at Macy's the next day to check colors, then left
me alone to wander the mall.
So I was pushed into the deep end, hardly knowing what hit me,
bypassing all of the planning and steps you went through, it all
happening almost too quick to be scared, although I was thrilled more
than any other day in my life! I loved every minute of it and have
never looked back! Now, 4 years later, I have moved on to higher
levels and, like you, have no trouble going anywhere en femme at this
point, but doubt I could ever again re-live the special thrills of that
weekend.
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6 Steps to Better Eyelashes
What to do -- and what not to do -- for lush, full lashes.
By Liesa Goins
WebMD Feature
Want longer, thicker lashes? Start with these six lash lifesavers.
1. Take it easy. Never tug at your lashes, and avoid rubbing your eyes. "The lash root is very delicate and
lashes can easily break due to our daily habits," says dermatologist Jeannette Graf, MD, of Great Neck,
N.Y.
2. When using a lash curler, don't pull on your eyelids.
3. Remove your mascara before you go to sleep. (The stiffness from the mascara can break lashes.) Use
a gentle makeup remover. Pat or dab at your lids -- don't rub or pull.
4. Remove clumps from mascara when the mascara is still wet and easy to comb through.
5. Tossing your old mascara also helps keep lashes and eyes healthy. Get a new tube every three to six
months, says New York optometrist Susan Resnick, MD. That will help your mascara stay free of germs
that can lead to infection.
6. If you get pink eye or another eye illness, replace any makeup that went near your eye area.
Your lashes serve a purpose beyond beauty. "Eyelashes serve a protective function: to keep foreign matter out of the eye," Resnick says.
A lash can last about three months before falling out and can take two months or more to completely
grow back. Damage can also make the hair more fragile, thinner, and shorter when it does grow in. If
you damage the follicle enough, it will stop producing hair, Graf says.
Eyelash Conditioners
"Just like you condition your hair, you need to condition your lashes," Graf says.
Her simple suggestion is to put a thin layer of Vaseline or Aquaphor over your lids at night.
Over-the-counter lash conditioners can also help. They usually contain ingredients to strengthen and
moisturize lashes.
A lash conditioner can help stop breakage so your lashes look longer in a matter of weeks, Graf says.
More Long-Lash Options
Eyelash extensions are tiny, synthetic hairs glued to individual lashes. They last for a couple of months.
Expect to pay $300 and up, and know that your natural lashes can be damaged as the extensions fall out.
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Another option is the prescription drug Latisse, which promotes lash growth.
"Latisse is excellent and works very well," Graf says.
Side effects can include irritation and darkening of the skin on the eyelid, which has been reported to be
reversible after stopping the drug. There is also a potential that the drug could turn light eye colors
brown, which is likely to be permanent, according to the drug's label.
7 ‘How Did She Do That’? Makeup Tricks
Wine and cheese, the Internet and cat videos, chocolate and… well, OK, pretty much anything. Some
things are just meant to go together, including these genius makeup layering combos from top facepainting pros.
By Stephanie Huszar |
Bright (but super wearable) summer lips
When he’s prepping beauties like Lupita
Nyong’o for the red carpet, makeup artist
Nick Barose loves layering a sheer nude lipcolor over a lipstain in either bright fuchsia
or punchy orange. “That way you get fresh
nude lips with a pop of color,” he says. His
trick: Apply Armani Lip Maestro (try Red
Fuschia or Tibetan Orange) to stain lips
with bright color, then top with Clinique
Chubby Stick Moisturizing Lip Color Balm
in a nude shade (try Heaping Hazelnut or
Whole Lotta Honey).
Smokey eyes with shimmering
sion
dimen-
Sometimes smokey eyes tend to look a little flat, no? Barose (who also counts Emma
Roberts and Kerry Washington on his Alist client list) has the perfect antidote:
“Apply matte powder eyeshadow first, then
dab metallic creamy shadow just in the
center of your lids so it looks more 3D,” he
says. Dust on L’Oreal Paris Studio Secrets
Eye Shadow in Lush Raven first, then use your fingertip or a brush to dab on the shimmery Lancome
Color Design 24H Crease Free Luminous Shadow in Forever Noir.
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Luminous skin with (practically)
ble pores
invisi-
Tinted moisturizer with subtle shimmer is brilliant for evening out skintone and adding a
natural glow. But as anyone with visible pores
(i.e. anyone who’s human) knows, the dewy
effect can sometimes make pores look bigger.
Counteract the effect with this genius tip from
Barose: Prep skin with a pore-perfecting
primer first, then layer on a glow-boosting
tinted moisturizer. His favorite combo: Kiehl’s Micro-Blur Skin Perfector underneath Jouer Luminizing
Moisture Tint.
Lit-from-within cheeks
Wish your skin could have that romanticrestaurant glow anytime? Try this combo from
Barose (who’s behind Alicia Keys’
radiant
look). “Layer liquid blush underneath liquid highlighter to create a candlelit glow,” he says. Start
by smoothing Armani Maestro Fusion Blush on
cheeks, then blend a dab of Tom Ford Skin Illuminator in Fire Lust on top. Doubling up on two
softly luminous liquid formulas is what’s key for
believable glow.
Beautifully bold brows
Unless you’ve been living under a beauty rock, you
know that brows are having a serious moment.
Makeup artist Fiona Stiles uses this combo to give
Elizabeth Banks a gorgeous, strong brow. “Bold
brows require a one-two punch,” she says. “You
need to fill them in just so, and then lock them into
place with a brow gel. I prefer a pencil to shape
brows. Make sure it’s nice and sharp so you can
draw the hairs on in feathery hair-like strokes, then
use a brow gel to set them.” Fill in skimpy brows
with Anastasia Brow Whiz pencil, then set in place
with Anastasia Brow Gel.
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Long (and lush) lashes
Two is better than one, especially when it
comes to mascara. Stiles always uses two different formulas on her A-list clients to give
them enviable lashes. “The key is to use a
volumizing formula and a
lengthening
formula,” she says. “Push the volumizing formula deep into the lash line, and then use the
lengthening formula to draw out the lashes.
One formula and one brush type just can't do it
all!” Her picks: Charlotte Tilbury Full Fat Lashes to plump and
Lancome Hypnose to lengthen.
Wide-awake undereyes
Ever wonder why your concealer just isn’t
getting the job done? Layering to the rescue. Makeup artist Georgie Eisdell (who
counts the always-radiant Carey Mulligan
as a client) tops concealer with a twoproduct combo to fake the look of impeccable undereyes. “The under-eye area is so
delicate and fine. Too much concealer can
cake and age the skin,” she says. “I use a
small amount of concealer where I need it,
then I apply an under-eye brightener across
the whole area. Then I powder very, very
lightly with a soft fluffy brush so not to deposit too much powder.” Apply your go-to concealer, then blend on Dior SkinFlash Radiance Booster
Pen and top with a sheer loose powder like La Mer The Powder.
Veterans Day November 11th.
A thank you to all who have
served.
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How To Clean Up Your Eye Makeup
Joanna Douglas
Practicing your smoky eye? There’s a good chance you’ll end up with some sort of pigment falling below your lower lashline. Here’s the best way to clean it up—without having to start over.
1. Remove the pigment from your lower lid with a gentle eye makeup remover like Elemis White Flowers Eye & Lip Makeup Remover ($30).
2. Apply a light eye cream like Ole Henriksen Fresh Start Eye Cream ($38) under your eyes. Let it dry..
3. Pat concealer under your eyes to camouflage any dark circles.
4. Lightly dust on some powder like Boots No7 Perfect Light Loose Translucent Powder ($11.99) to set
the concealer.
Next time, remember to blow on your eyeshadow brush to remove any excess pigment before it hits your
lid.
When Should You Toss Your Beauty Products?
Cheryl Wischhover‎
In a perfect world, we would finish every last drop of every
single beauty product. But this doesn’t happen very often—if
ever. Makeup and skin care products are not like Twinkies;
they don’t last forever. If you hang on to things too long, at
best they lose their efficacy, and at worst they can become
contaminated with bacteria or other gross stuff. To figure out
when to throw things away, I chatted with experts with
intimate knowledge of each category.
MAKEUP: Generally, the drier a product is, the longer you
can keep it, according to Debra Coleman-Nally,
Maybelline’s Head of Research & Development. “Mascaras
have the shortest shelf life due to daily use and the small
quantity in the tube. We recommend three months for a
mascara for optimal performance,” she says. Powder
shadows, face powders and blushes have the longest shelf
life since they don’t contain water. You can keep them for up
to two years. BB creams and foundations last about 18
months. Store your makeup in a cool, dry spot – extreme
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heat and cold are cosmetics’ enemy. If there’s any change in color, odor, or appearance, it’s best to get
rid of it.
LIPSTICK: According to Poppy King, the founder of Lipstick Queen, lipstick actually lasts a long time,
if stored properly. “You only need to throw away lipstick and lip gloss if it starts to smell strange or it
hardens and the texture feels strange,” she recommends. Like all the other products, store lip products in
a cool, dark place—lipstick is especially susceptible to hot temperatures. In general, check in with them
every two years or so. “If you are one of those people who buys in bulk when you find a shade you
really love, store the extras in the fridge and when you are ready to use them, let them adjust to room
temperature before applying,” King says.
SUNSCREEN: Sunscreens contain active ingredients, so they’re labeled like drugs with expiration
dates, making it a no-brainer. “Sunscreens are designed to remain highly efficacious for two to three
years from the date of manufacturing,” Holly Thaggard, the founder of Supergoop, says. “But
remember, if your sun care products are applied generously and frequently, a bottle of sun protection
shouldn’t normally last from one year to the next!” Although Thaggard says sunscreens are tested in
storage conditions up to 104 degrees F to determine stability, it’s best to store in a cool, dry place. Toss
it if the texture, smell or color changes. Bacterial contamination is a concern; a few years ago, natural
brand Badger had to recall a batch of sunscreen for contamination.
SKIN CARE: Skin care products make it easy on you – there’s a symbol on the label that looks like an
open jar with a time (ie “12 m”) listed above it. If you write the date when you open it on the label, you
know exactly when to toss it. “Unopened products traditionally have a three year shelf life,” a rep
from Skinceuticals’ Education & Training Division says. “Once products are opened, shelf life varies by
formula.” Store products at room temperature, because they can deteriorate if left in extremely hot
conditions. Again, keep an eye on the texture, smell, and color.
HAIR PRODUCTS: “It is typically okay to use standard shampoo and conditioner for two years,” says
Fabian Lliguin, of natural hair care brand Rahua. “For natural shampoo and conditioner like Rahua
(which is naturally preserved), it is safe to use up to 18 months after opening.” Styling products,
however, run the risk of drying out sooner if they’re kept open or stored in less-than-ideal conditions.
Lliguin also points out that products you scoop out with your hands are at higher risk for contamination,
so use a scoop if you can. Like skin care, hair care product labels are stamped with the “after open”
symbol on the back.
November 20th
Transgender Day of Remembrance
Lives cut short all too soon by hate
Remember them and remember their life.
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Halloween Photos
Up in the Sky– It’s a Bird, It’s a
Plane, No it Supergirl. Who by day
is a mild manner cosmetologist
named Mellissa Lynn
Straight from the Roaring
twenties, It’s Denise DeMann
Whenever a bell rings an Angel get’s her
wings. Come on somebody ring a bell so
Angel Annette can get her wings.
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Mellissa Lynn
Denise DeMann
I’m not sure, but I think our planet
has been invaded by some beautiful
aliens from outer space. Oh wait,
the Enterprise from Starfleet is here
to save us. Hey who wants to be
saved from these lovely ladies?
Annette
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Attaching Breast Forms
(note: This is something that I got, but do not remember from where or who the author is)
TIPS FOR ATTACHMENT Most breastforms are made with a polyurethane coating bottom filled with
silicone (a heavy liquid) and then sealed with a final polyurethane coating. If you look carefully at the
edges of the breastform you will see the polyurethane film. When attaching the forms to the body, one
always takes a chance of tearing a small hole in the coating. It would like gluing a balloon to the wall
and then gently pulling it off. One needs to do it with the utmost care or the wall will tear. Sometimes
the hole can be so small that air enters but the liquid cannot escape initially from the hole. Thus one gets
a squishy effect of mush inside the forms. This can occur in even the best breastforms so we urge anyone
attaching to be extremely careful when applying and removing the forms. The first consideration when
attaching is the glue that is used to make the attachment.
We recommend FDA approved materials such as the 7730 medical adhesive by Hollister. There are
other medical adhesives such as one made by Smith and Nephew but that particular formula contains
latex which many people react negatively to it. Also the Smith and Nephew is a very heavy glue which
many people tend to not clean completely after using and thus find a huge build up occurring that is very
difficult to remove. NEVER use two different types of adhesive at the same time otherwise you run the
risk of a chemical reaction/interaction that may be detrimental to your breast form or your skin.
PREPARATION: To maximize the adhesion always wash the area of skin in question first and we
strongly recommend the skin area is clean-shaven. After washing you should then rub alcohol or witch
hazel over the clean area to remove any soap residue. Soap tends to remain on the skin when washing
and will act as a barrier between the skin and adhesive, thus leading to an unsuccessful attachment. (If
you are having problems with the lower percentage of alcohol brands then trying going to the higher
91% proof or even higher.)
ATTACHMENT: Firstly, put on a bra that gives the form a nice secure fit. Next, place the forms, one at
a time, on your chest and trace the outline with an eye pencil onto your skin. Spray a light layer of
Hollister 7730 adhesive onto the back of the breastform and allow it to set for 5 -10 seconds (some
people prefer leaving a gap at the bottom end of the form which will allow the silicone breast to move
more easily with the body). Place the form in the pre-marked area and rotate the form lightly so that the
adhesive transfers to the skin. Remove spray the form again and leave to rest whilst you do the same
with the other form/side of chest. Now place the form firmly onto the previously marked area on the
chest that now has a residue of adhesive on it. Then pull up the bra cup to hold the form snuggly against
the chest wall. Repeat the process with the second silicone breast form and leave in place supported by
the bra for 10-20 minutes. Gently remove the bra and you should be free to move around if you have
followed all the steps correctly. Larger forms should always be partially supported with the use of a bra.
If using tapes then follow the same steps. Personally, I have a difficult time attaching because of my skin
make up. The best attachment I found involved me just pressing each breastform tightly onto my chest
for 10 minutes. Afterwards they had a nice strong seal. Most people will find the traditional method
indicated above to be satisfactory for them.
REMOVING THE BREAST FORM: In order to detach the breastform - carefully--I mean
CAREFULLY-- pull the form away from the skin, taking care not to damage the silicone form. After
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they are removed, breast forms should have the adhesive residue removed immediately. Use a
recommended adhesive remover that gently removes tape and adhesive residues. I do not recommend the
ostomy medical adhesive removers because they are designed to remove adhesive from skin and not
from the forms. Use cotton wool to apply the solvent to the adhesive area and then wipe clean. A quick,
no fuss method to remove adhesive from forms is to pour some remover onto a large flat dinner plate,
place the form adhesive side down, wrap cling-film/plastic-wrap over the form and plate and leave for an
hour or two. The adhesive then dissolves. Once adhesive has been removed from the forms, they should
be washed in warm soapy water. Regular cleaning, care and maintenance of silicone breast forms will
inevitably extend their life.
CAUTION: Once the polyurethane film has been pierced the liquid will leak out. The only measure to
stop this is by use of a flexible Scotch Tape though this will only temporarily stop the disintegration of
the form. (We have been told by some of our customers of successfully using waterbed sealers to seal
the puncture.) Keep sharp objects away from silicone breast forms (including jewelry and sharp finger
nails) at all times and when not in use store them in the boxes they came in.
November 19th-23rd
The Center
501 N. Maryland Parkway
Las Vegas Nv.
http://lasvegastranspride.org
Wednesday Nov. 19th March from City Hall to Center & Opening Ceremony 3:00pm
Thursday Nov. 20th Day of Awareness. Movies with Discussions 10:00am-10:00pm
Friday Nov. 21st. Transgender Day of Remembrance Vigil 7:00pm-9:00pm
Saturday Nov. 22nd. Transgender Day of Empowerment 10:30am-4:30pm
Keynote Speaker– Jamison Green, 12 Workshops, Community Outreach and merchandise vendors. Free
Lunch provided.
Saturday Nov. 22nd 7:30pm-9:00pm TransAmerica’s Got Talent Featuring Missy Parker
Sunday Nov. 23rd Transgender Day of Celebration
Trans Worship Service, Sunday Afternoon Social Gathering, Free Thinkers Gathering, Closing
Ceremony Incorporating a Ritual segment from Native Culture as we celebrate the diversity in our community.
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The Adventures of Judy Sometimes
Breakfast Club and shopping
It was a fun day starting with Breakfast Club at Specks. They do this once a month or so and serve a
variety of breakfast type food, this one had the fixings for breakfast burritos and carmel rolls. We
decided not to attend in our pajamas as a few of us had plans to go shopping afterwards, but it was fun
seeing a bunch of regulars from the Empire in their finest nightwear including a gal named Carol who
showed up in matching pajamas and robe adorned with polka dots (very cute).
Around 11:00 we got the show on the road as we had plans to shop for Kentucky Derby attire. As I have
posted in the past our friend Brittany throws an annual derby party that has become quite the popular
event. All of us ladies dress to the 9's including hats, it is truly one of my favorite events of the year.
Tracy, Brittany and I already have our dresses, but a couple of the girls still needed to find theirs so we
decided to head to the mall first. Now, I'm not usually to fond of going to the mall on Saturday because
of the heavy crowds, but who could pass up being part a group of ladies in search of a new dress.
First stop was JC Pennys as they usually have a pretty good selection, but neither Kim or Tracie found
what they were looking for so we ended up at Macys next. This time both ladies found just the right
dresses and to tell you the truth I was about ready to purchase a couple of them myself. A girl can't have
too many dresses you know.
With that accomplished of course it was time to do a little shoe shopping. Unfortunately for me about the
only place I find shoes that fit is Payless and it wasn't on our list of stops so I guess I'll have to wait, but
then again, I do have shoes to wear with the dress I'm wearing already...but it doesn't hurt to look now
does it, lol.
Now for the tough part, the hats, all of us like to just buy some sort of base hat and decorate it so on to
Burlington Coat Factory we went. I've purchased my hats from there the last 3 previous years as they
have never failed to have a good selection...until this year. Luckily for me they did have a floppy sun/
beach type hat in one of the colors in my dress so I was taken care of. Unfortunately none of the other
girls found what they were looking for. Another friend said she had been at Target earlier in the week
and saw that they had a few hats so we jumped in the car and made our way there. The selection wasn't
much better there, but all but my wife found hats that would work. Tracy had planned on doing somewhat of a fascinator anyway so she figure she could find what she needed at the craft store, next stop
Hobby Lobby.
If you've ever been to a Hobby Lobby you know you could literally spend an entire day wondering
around in there and they have a great selection of flowers, feathers and doodads for decorating. I selected
white roses and three different colors of feathers to match the colors in my dress to decorate with.
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By now it was nearly 4:00 and everybody was hungry again so we made our way to a place called the
Silver Dollar, a recently remodeled bar/restaurant that serves some of the best wings in the area. They
call theirs Pig Wings and they smoke them for a couple weeks before adding a variety of sauces to them
and they are out of this world.
We had a cute little server named Jennifer wait on us and she asked us what we had been up to today.
Brittney said that we had been our shopping for Kentucky Derby wear and she asked, what’s that ? Now,
I know she’s young (probably early 20's), but imagine not knowing what the Kentucky Derby even is, I
can see not knowing when, but having not every even heard of it...too cute. Jennifer was very attentive
throughout our stay and believe me, even though she didn't know what the KD was...she sure knows
where her bread is buttered when it comes to service.
OK, now if you know me you probably know what happened next...cocktails, you guessed it. The only
problem was we couldn't decided where to go. We're all kind of bored with our usually spots and we had
just been to Specks that morning so it was decided we'd try out another newly remodeled place called the
Windbreak in the Flying J truck plaza on the south end of town.
Now this place has been around for about 30 years, but a couple years ago they tore down the whole
place and rebuilt it. I've been wanting to have a Sundress Thursday event out there so checking it out
killed two birds with one stone so to speak.
I was quite surprised when we walked into the place as it definitely had a whole new look with the bar
itself now being in the center of the room and the gaming area and stage now on opposite ends. I liked it
a lot, but Tracy and Brittney gave it a big thumbs down for any future Sundress event, oh well, it’s not
like Fargo lacks for places to drink and eat, so we'll find a few new spots for the season. Besides, it’s
always fun looking.
Judy (not a head turned all day) sometimes
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The Exploits of Barbara Marie
COMING OUT OF THE CLOSET
BY
BARBARA MARIE DAVIDSON
I realize that that this is a subject that is near and dear to all transgendered/transsexual
individuals. How do I tell my family, friends about my “secret” life? I knew from the time I was
little that there was something different about me. I remember when I would visit my cousins in
North Carolina, the cousin who was my age and I would play together at night as we would fall
asleep in the same bed but be separated later by our Parents. We were about 2 or 2 ½ at the time.
What intrigued both of us was what was between our legs and feelings that I had even then (we
were children and knew nothing about gender or sex)t I wished that I looked like her. But, it never
came to pass although my feelings were still there.
I began doing the things that kids do in that I played in dad’s clothing as well as my mothers. Although I
began doing all the boy stuff and clothes, there was still something missing in my life. I wanted to paint
my nails and toes like the others (girls) were doing, but was told no as boys did not do those kind of
things. It was the same when I want play “dress up”. Thus, I played football, baseball, basketball
(although I hated that one), soccer, learned to shoot a 22 rifle, even bowling (duck pins). (All of the boy
stuff). As always there was something missing in my life. Society said I could not do it, and my parents
said the same thing.
To show you how “dumb” I was I thought that a girls “training Bra was to help them develop their
breast. So, I bought me a couple of “training bras” not knowing that it was the present of their hormones
(estrogen) that was causing it to happen as well as the curves ect they were developing. I was not
looking forward to shaving at all. But it was my testosterone that brought on all the male characteristics I
was dreading. Now I know the whole story.
After 2 years of college (at the Citadel in Charleston, S.C.), I went to work in an operating room in my
hometown and OJT’ed to be an operating room technician. During that time, I joined the National Guard
and did my 6 months Active duty. Upon coming home, I went back to work at the hospital. Shortly
after going back to work, I was approached to see if I wanted to go to nursing school. Of course I said
yes and in the summer of 1964, not only did I return to school but also met my future wife. She lived in
the Nurses dorm and I had my own apartment bout a block from the school. By this time, my wearing
feminine clothes was very real and I could study in a dress or a nighty or what ever but no makeup as I
had no clue how to put it on much less get it off. We got married in 1967 after graduation.
In 1969, I left the Guard and entered the US Navy fo a 2 year obligation which turned into 20 years, 7
duty stations and three kids with two deployments thrown in. It was while we were in Newport RI, that
my wife found out about my “hobby”. I had been a member of FPE - Phi Pi Epsilon – that later merged
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in the 1970’s with Mademoiselle to form TriEss – the society for second self. I was at work and when I
came home, my wife would not speak to me for several hours. I could tell that there was something
really bothering her. She finally let it ALL HANG OUT. She was looking for something in my brief
case and found the materiel I had on FPE. She thought that I did not love her any more, that I was gay,
wanted to be a woman, wanted it cut off and other things that go through a wife’s or girl friend’s head.
After about 3 days of silence, we worked things out and she listened to me. The main thing was that we
loved each other and thus, as I have said in the past, I basically sat on the back burner for the next 36
years and it never entered the bedroom. She never understood, attempted to understand or even tried to
understand. When She passed away in 2006, I buried her on a Tuesday and had my ears pierced on
Wednesday and have not looked back.
My children were different. When I brought him home from 5 weeks in an alcohol rehab unit in January
of 2008, we sat down and had a “father – son” talk about a number of things. One was about me as I
was dressing 75% as Barbara and 25% as Bill. I told him about my self and my plans and was he was
OK with it (them) as who was he to throw stones. Later I got my twins together and told them. Their
response was they already knew. When I asked them, they “Oh Mom Told us about you”. Yet, up until
she passed away, she kept saying to me “Don’t tell the kids”. They seemed ok with my cross dressing,
even after I went full time in 2009 s I got tired of living the double life.
However, It appears that my son in law had/has some problems with it as I have not seen my two grand
daughters in almost 6 years now. I can talk to them on the phone but that is it. I have one daughter in
law (who is very accepting) that has twin girls from a a previous marriage. The girls never knew “Bill”
so I can be a regular grand parent to them. They call me Bruce’s dad but lately that have started calling
me Barbara. My other Daughter in law is also very accepting (but not her parents) She also has two
children from a previous marriage. The 16 year old does know about me and we have talked. The 10
year old girl does not know yet.
My Brother is Gay and has no problem with me what so ever. My sister who is very close to “Bruce” is
well aware of his orientation and has no problem with it or with my current life style. We are family.
My cousin I mentioned in the first paragraph is very supportive as is her husband who happens to be a
retired Episcopal minister of my life style. A very close friend, with whom I have known since 1973, is
a retired Navy Captain and also now a retired Episcopal Minister as well has been supportive of me.
When my wife passed away, I became a “fifth wheel” among the groups that we belonged to as a couple.
It got worst as I began to come out at home as many of “our” friends were/are not accepting of my life
style. However, it is getting better now. At the hospital where I worked for 18 years, just about every
one who knew “Bill” has accepted “Barbara” now with the exception of one who will go out of his way
to keep from our paths crossing or talking to me. It is his lost.
In 2012, I made several other life style changes as I had a legal name change and of course it hat to be
run in the local news paper once a week for 4 weeks under probate actions. Thus basically every one in
my hometown knew what I was planning to do. Then it was 30 seconded in from of the judge and one
swipe of the pen and I was legally Barbara Marie Davidson. Several months later I had a date with a
plastic surgeon and am now a permanent 38C. I have no regrets on what I have done, especially at my
age. The biggest hurdle was changing my bank accounts, and credit cards. Medicare care, social security
card and drivers license was not really a hassle as I needed copies of the court documents. Each credit
card required a copy of the court document and letter of explanation. With the credit bureau, I had to
send a copy of my old SS card and a copy of my new one with the different names but same number.
Barbara had no credit. Bill had excellent credit. After my letter with copies of both names but same
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number, Barbara had excellent credit again.
This is my story of my coming out to friends and family. May of you out there have your own stories of
how the family handled/ is handling your TG activities or transition. Please feel free to share them with
others who may similar stories as well as those whose families were not so accepting.
Yours
Barbara Marie Davidson
Tasi’s Musings, November, 2014
Greetings from Merida
TOCADOS MEXICANOS or Flowers in the Hair
What do Mexican women have in their minds? It is a total mystery. We men will
have to continue wondering and receiving just as little information given by the
colorful tocados they wear on their long hair. In ancient Mexican cultures,
women were considered divine creatures since they had the unique and important
capacity to bring men to life. But the information they share by their flowers,
fabrics and colors can give a man at least an idea of guiding his rapport efforts.
Literally on women’s heads we could learn what social group they belong to,
their status, their beliefs and even the most subtle differences can tell where that
beautiful girl comes from among from nearby identical communities to an
experienced eye. Women know about weaknesses and hardships we go through
when dealing with them. They ease our work by sending us interpreting signals. In Yucatan if the
flowers go on the right side they
mean the girl is married but if the
flowers are on the left side, it is OK,
you are closer to heaven. We will
never know what really lies
underneath those beautiful bouquets,
but at least that is a good start. After
all, if you are successful you will
have a life time to find it out.
Learn more about these wonderful
traditions by joining me at Magic in
Merida next February in Merida and see some of this beautiful city. It’s Carnival time and here’s how to
enjoy Merida’s Carnival
22
In the News
Male students dressed liked celebs told to go home. When administrators at
White Pass Jr. Sr. High School in Randle, Washington, asked students to dress
up as their favorite celebrities for Spirit Week, Mason Mudge and Chandler
Krueger did just that. Mudge came as Miss America and Krueger dressed up as
Nicki Minaj. They were sent home. The next day, many of their classmates
skipped American Pride Day and instead came to school dressed as the
opposite sex in protest of what had happened. They were not sent home this
time. Watch the video on the link above.
Oldest sex change operation (watch video interview). A
former RAF navigator has become the oldest person in
Britain to have sex change surgery – at the age of 81. The
NHS op for Ruth Rose, once a man named James, drew
criticism because of her age. But she said: “I always knew I
was in the wrong body.”
Ruth has only one regret about her sex change – she -wishes
she had bigger boobs. But the oldest Briton to have gender realignment surgery is otherwise delighted with life as a
woman.
Transgender Violence Tracking Portal. For the first time ever, there is a database where people the world
over can see exactly what is happening to transgender people globally in terms of violent acts against
them. The Transgender Violence Tracking Portal (TVTP) was launched earlier this year in the hope of
accumulating as much data as possible in order to serve as a true resource and, ultimately, to put a stop
to such acts in totality.
Padmini Prakash: India's first transgender news anchor. According
to one estimate, India has about two million transgender people and
most live on the fringes of society, often in poverty, ostracised
because of their gender. Now Padmini Prakash has become India's
first transgender to anchor a daily television news show and she has
been grabbing attention in the southern state of Tamil Nadu.
Books, Movies, and Television
Jazz Jennings was born a boy, but started to show leanings toward a
feminine side at only 15 months old. Now at age 14, Jazz has coauthored an illustrated memoir aimed at children called "I Am Jazz." The book chronicles the early years
of Jazz's life, from her diagnosis to her struggles at school, and it's not just for kids in the LGBTQ
community but for anyone who feels like they don't fit in. As the country struggles with how to
accommodate transgender students in the public school system, Jazz continues to be an important
advocate for young people with gender dysphoria as she tries to facilitate fair treatment for other
children in her situation. Listen to Katie Couric interview Jazz here.
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Laura Jane Grace Is True Trans. At its core, this is about this kind of
storytelling: deeply personal and humanizing, while simultaneously
highlighting the unique challenges and accomplishments of living a
contemporary trans life. "I really tried to select people who
represent a wide spectrum of experience," Grace emphasizes,
explaining that she wants to provide a "showcase [of the] many
gender-variant trans people out there doing really cool things, living
really productive lives." While the culture that surrounds trans
people often demands unerring confidence and assuredness when
going through a gender transition, Grace and the cast of True Trans
show slices of real life in all their confounding, complex,
illuminating glory.
Watch an exclusive peek at the show here, and tune into AOL Originals starting today.
South Park takes on “Trans Issues” and does it very well. When we found out South Park was
doing an entire episode about gender identity this season, a few of my trans friends were worried
we were about to become the joke of the week. After all, the show has mishandled the issue in the past.
Remarkedly the show did exceptionally well as reflected in this scenario by Principal Victoria who puts
it best, when in her announcement to the school after explaining why they've eliminated “the transgender
bathroom,” she says:
Anyone who has a problem sharing a bathroom with people who might be transgender will have to use
the special designated bathroom designed to keep them away from the normal people who don't care.
Well done, South Park.
BLOOMBERG BNA PUBLISHES “GENDER IDENTITY AND SEXUAL ORIENTATION IN THE
WORKPLACE: A PRACTICAL GUIDE” Bloomberg BNA today announced the publication of a firstof-its-kind book that comprehensively addresses United States workplace law and human resource
24
practice relating to gender identity, sexual orientation, and gender expression. The book, “Gender
Identity and Sexual Orientation Discrimination in the Workplace,” features an extensive analysis of
anti-discrimination law as it pertains to lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) employees.
Fashion and Beauty
Catherines Debuts Luxurious Plus Size Collection! Catherines, a
leading women's plus size specialty retailer for sizes 16W–34W and
0X–5X, is excited to announce the launch of Black Label by
Catherines, a limited-edition collection of statement-making
fashions focused on quality, luxury and impeccable styling.
Available in select stores and online at catherines.com beginning
September 2, Black Label by Catherines offers plus size women the
modern wardrobe options they crave, with exclusive pieces
designed to fit beautifully.
What differentiates Black Label from other plus size luxury
collections is the focus on the higher end of the plus size range. A
number of retailers offer fashions up to size 22. But the Black Label
collection gives full-figured women modern, luxurious looks up to
sizes 34W and 5X. "It's all about fitting women beautifully, while
providing an elevated collection they just can't get anywhere else,"
says head of design, Kate McKee. "Our design team is dedicated to
creating fresh looks that really flatter, within well-edited collections
that are on-trend for every season.
"This fall season," Kate adds, "Black Label elevates your wardrobe
with luxurious, high-quality statement pieces. Start with a few standouts like a georgette sleeveless
blouse paired with a slim ponte knit pant. Choose styles that express your personality, then build from
there. Our Black Label collection features incredibly versatile looks designed to be mixed in unexpected
ways, season after season."
The Collection is designed with a keen eye for elegance. Styles include a modern mix of sophisticated
soft layers with leggings, tailored separates with bold blouses, and beautifully detailed denim. Among
the season's best updates are faux-leather pieces, including a lace-trim jacket, a peplum top with exposed
back zipper, and a pencil skirt with ponte knit back. Coordinated separates may be worn from head to
toe, but look especially fresh mixed with other Black Label styles.
Black Label by Catherines is available at select Catherines stores and online at catherines.com, with
prices ranging from $52 – $179.
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I Am A Plus-Size Woman Who Wore a Low
-Rise Bikini to the Beach and This is What
Happened. As a fat woman, there are
several truths that have been engrained into
our psyche since the day my visible belly
outline became impossible to conceal.
Amongst them, the “fact” that fat women do
not deserve to wear bodycon dresses or sexy
lingerie. Furthermore, their sole goal when
it comes to fashion should be to try their
very best to not look fat. I’m talking about
cultivating addictions to black dresses,
wearing only loose-fitting tops and high-waisted trousers and avoiding anything loud, revealing or
remotely interesting.
Plus-size fashion rules indicate only solid prints and baggy things are to be purchased. And we must be
grateful to these items, for they slim us down and make us more attractive (or better yet, less revolting)
to those around us. (in this fun article, substitute crossdresser for plus-size woman) and agree or not,
you may not be as obvious as you think.
Humor
Drag queens release ‘That’s Not My Name’ parody
over Facebook controversy. WTF, Zuck? starring
Brigitte Bidet
So until next month,
Hugs……Tasi
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HUMOR
A State Trooper was patrolling late at night off the main highway. At nearly midnight, he sees
a couple in a car, in lovers' lane, with the interior light brightly glowing. He carefully
approaches the car to get a closer look. Then he sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a
computer magazine. He immediately notices a young woman in the rear seat, filing her
fingernails.
Puzzled by this surprising situation, The trooper walks to the car and gently raps on the
driver's window.
The young man lowers his window. 'Uh, yes, Officer'?
The trooper asks: 'What are you doing?'
The young man says: 'Well, Officer, I'm reading a magazine.'
Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the trooper says: 'And, her, what is she
doing?'
The young man shrugs: 'Sir, I believe she's filing her fingernails.'
Now, the trooper is totally confused. A young couple, alone, In a car, at night in a lover's lane
and nothing obscene is happening! The trooper asks: 'What's your age, young man?'
The young man says: 'I'm 22, sir.'
The trooper asks: 'And her, what's her age?'
The young man looks at his watch and replies: 'She'll be 18 in 11 minutes.'
27
ANGELS IN THE CENTERFOLD
Joanne
Denise DeMann
28
Mellissalynn’s‎Tips‎&‎Tricks
Welcome to November! It’s time for us to eat turkey and cranberry sauce and mashed potatoes and the
last of the freshly snapped green beans with bacon and hot apple pie a la mode! Sigh…I love
Thanksgiving…and for those of you who live outside the US, you can still feel free to have this meal.
It’s okay, we aren’t exclusive.
October was an interesting month! School is continuing as planned; I’ve been teaching more classes
independently and doing well at it. My students are consistently getting good grades on their exams and
all say I’m a fun teacher to have, so I guess I’m doing something right.
I’m still working on building my salon clientele. This
is starting to become a concern for me. If I don’t get
hired by the school next year, I have to make the salon
income match what I’m making now, just to stay at the
level I’m currently at financially. I am starting to build
a clientele, but it needs to be a faster thing. So any one
who might have ideas on how I can make that happen,
PLEASE feel free to write me!
We had our monthly CUI Tri-Ess meeting this month.
The theme was Halloween, of course, but also glamour
shots. One of our members, Heather, who is also a
subscriber to this magazine, does some pro
photography. She brought in her equipment and set us
up. I, meanwhile, was doing hair and nail work and
prettying the ladies up for their close-ups. We had a
blast! Because I was doing the cosmetology work, I
decided to keep things simple and once again became
the Girl of Steel. I love dressing as Supergirl…!
So, ladies, how was your month? I’d love to hear some
stories. How was your Halloween? Don’t forget that
Barbara is looking for pictures for the second
Halloween costume section! So send the photos in,
and share your tales of Halloween fun with me. I love
to hear from my readers, as I may have mentioned once
or twice. My address hasn’t changed at all; it’s still
mlatjnadhmelly@gmail.com . I look forward to
hearing your stories!
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Do you need to have a dazzling smile on short notice? Here are a few visual lipstick tricks you can use
to make you pearly whites look whiter. Once again, many of these are based on complementary colors
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on the color wheel. To counter yellowed teeth, wear a lipstick with a blue undertone (like a fuchsia or a
pinkish-red). To balance out grey teeth, apply a dark pink lip stain to your gums, starting with removing
the excess moisture from your gums with a tissue. Apply the stain with your finger. Teeth that look dull
will take on some shine with a clear gloss on your lips.
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One of the latest trends in the moisturizing field is bee venom face creams. The theory behind this is
that these creams trick the skin into reacting as if it’s been stung. This will trigger the body’s healing
process and plump the skin. This, obviously, will help fine lines and wrinkles to disappear. The jury is
still out on how well this works; in a recent survey of 100 women, the results were split almost evenly. I
have yet to see one of these creams on the market for testing; when I do, I’ll pass my findings along.
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Ladies, this really isn’t a makeup tip, but it’s a good one that I want to share. I’m in the process of
winterizing my wardrobe and putting all the fun, girly, summer sundresses and stuff away. I found this
tip in an old book and it works wonders! Instead of spending money on mothballs, take a pair of old
hose and remove the feet. Fill those feet with a handful of cloves from the spice rack. Tie the hose
closed with some ribbon, making sachets. Put the sachets in your storage containers. Next spring when
it’s time to reverse the process, your clothes will be smelling good and moth-free! And of course you
can repeat the process in spring for your winter clothes too.
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And now, it’s time once again for Mellissa’s Germ-a-phobic Corner! This tip is in fact salon-related.
We have a policy at my school of having the students wipe their styling chairs as the shampoo bowl
chairs down with a hospital-grade disinfectant. Not every salon does this, I’ve discovered. In this crazy
time of the enterovirus and Ebola, you want to have every possible precaution against getting ill. Ask
your stylist if she or he wiped down the chair you’re going to be sitting in. If not, insist that they do so!
No one wants to be ill from their salon visit…
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Here is a fast tip to remove fingernail polish from your skin, be it on hands or toes. After wetting your
hands in some hot water, pour out some sugar into your hand and scrub well with it. Not only will you
remove the paint, but the sugar will act as an exfoliator, too.
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Despite your best efforts at taking care of your skin, you’ve got a small blemish on your cheek. What to
do? Well, you can take a bit of lemon juice (the real stuff, not any artificial thing), put it on a cotton
ball, and hold it up to the spot for about fifteen seconds or so. The citric acid will act as an astringent,
drying out the blemish as well as any acne-causing bacteria. PS: A neat trick for getting more juice from
a lemon? Microwave it first! Heat softens the lemon’s inner walls and lets more juice out.
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Daylight savings time ends on November second (in the US), ladies. We gain a bonus hour of sleep that
night! Make the most of it with a little preparation. Try to ingest a food that contains lycopene, a
compound that will help you sleep. Recommended foods include watermelon, tomatoes, red grapefruit,
papaya, mangoes, or guavas. Relax yourself by listening to some quiet music or reading a good book
until you’re drowsy, then let yourself drift off into a good night’s rest. After all, a good night’s sleep is a
great beauty aid!
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When you’ve finished shampooing and conditioning your hair, what temperature water do you use?
How about when you’re rinsing your face after washing? Here’s the truth of the matter: you should be
using cool water for both of these activities. In hair, the cooler water helps to close the hair follicle. On
your face, cool rinses will help to reduce any swelling, as well as tighten up pores and improve your
blood circulation.
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So I was talking to a friend of mine who’s in the medical profession, and we somehow got on the subject
of weight loss. She told me a little secret about drinking water and weight loss that I think needs to be
shared. Did you know that if you drink fizzy water, such as a seltzer, it will help you lose weight faster?
Yep! It seems that the carbonation tricks your stomach into thinking it’s full. Personally, I don’t like
seltzer water very much, but I’m adding the sugar-free drink packets and seeing some progress.
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If you’re on your feet a lot, this next tip is for you! This is a mixture to relax sore and swollen feet.
Take 5 cups of sea salt, 1 cup of baking soda, 10 drops of camphor oil, 5 drops of eucalyptus oil, and 10
drops of peppermint oil. Combine all of these in a large bowl. Mix until you have a gritty powder.
When you’re ready to soak your feet, fill a large basin or bowl with warm water and add 1 cup of this
mixture. Submerge and soak for 15 to 20 minutes. Rinse your feet and pat dry. Pour the remaining
mixture (unused) into a sealed jar and store in a cool, dry place. It should last up to four weeks.
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Ladies, for almost all of my columns, I’ve had a hard and fast rule. I don’t endorse products by name.
Well, today is the day I break that rule.
As I mentioned at the start of my column, I went out for my monthly meeting with my Tri-Ess sisters.
Well, my regular outfit was a bit short, enough I was showing a lot of leg. I’m a little self-conscious
about my legs, due to the auto accident I had a couple of years ago. I rolled a car, and while I’m
thankful just to be alive, my legs have a few marks from the experience.
On a whim, a few weeks ago I picked up a new product from Sally Hansen called Airbrush Legs. It
retails at Walmart for about $9.99. Normally, I use my actual airbrush kit to cover my trouble spots, but
the coverage isn’t as good as I’d like. Well, sisters, lemme tell you what, this stuff works like a charm!
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My legs looked smooth and silky with no blemishes whatsoever. I received several compliments while I
was out shopping that day. Here is a picture of the item and one of me:
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Over the years, I’ve tried many cures for razor burn, that nasty red bumpy condition that strikes us all
from time to time. Here’s a new one to me! Get a bottle of Mylanta and put it in the fridge. When you
apply it, use a washcloth and hold it against the area for about a minute. The milky antacids will coat the
bumps and the cold compress will ease the inflammation and swelling.
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This is a nifty trick for keeping your razor sharp longer. I picked it up, of all places, in a old Army
training manual! Talk about true serendipity: I was at a garage sale looking at some other books (not the
manual) when I accidentally knocked it down. It fell open to the page that contains this tip! I, of course,
paid the quarter that the lady wanted for the book and took it home. Hey, who knows, the Army may
have other tips for us!
As I said, this is a trick to keep your razor sharper longer. After you finish shaving, blot the blade(s) dry.
Put your razor in a sealable plastic bag and add a silica gel packet in. These are the strange little packets
that come in shoe boxes, pill bottles, etc. These packets will absorb moisture, which will dry the razor
and keep it from rusting and dulling.
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I’ve promoted the uses of witch hazel in this column almost from the very first one I wrote. But today, I
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have a whole new reason to celebrate the stuff! If you have varicose veins, applying witch hazel twice
daily to the area will reduce their appearance and ease any vein-related pain in as little as a week. The
tannis and procyanidins) in witch hazel are anti-inflammatory compounds that shrink puffy veins and
reduce darkness where blood may have pooled.
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I recently had the great pleasure of administering to some of the girls at my school the makeup section of
our textbook. Relax, ladies, I’m not going to do that here! The reason I bring it up is that I kept having
to stress one word over and over to them. The word is: blending!
Proper blending of your makeup is the single most important thing you can do when you apply your war
paints, girls. Your shadows, your blushes, even your foundation/concealer/primer combination; a good
bout with a blending brush will make your work look so much smoother and neater.
For example: I like to use two blushes when I apply my own. I put a darker streak just under the
cheekbone to contour and a lighter color across the apple to highlight. This doesn’t work without a bit of
blending! The better the blend , the better the finished product. That’s all I have to say.
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So here it is. We have once again arrived at the conclusion of my column. Can you all believe that
there’s only one more to write for 2014? Neither can I.
I want to wish all the ladies in the United States a great Thanksgiving Day,
and beg you all to be safe on Black Friday. I’m going to be visiting relatives in Davenport, Iowa that weekend. Quick short story: the last time I
went to see my relatives there for Thanksgiving, I made the mistake of
taking the new (at the time) Stephen King book with me. The title: Under
The Dome; page count, well over a thousand. I started the story at about
8am and was finished with it by 4pm. Eight non-stop hours of reading!
Only Mr. King can do this to me…
I also want to pass along salutations and salutes to all my fellow veterans.
Our day this year is on a Tuesday, a week after the elections here in the
US and five days after my birthyday. To all who are alive, thank you for
your service. To the fallen, you are not now not ever will be forgotten.
I want to hear about your Thanksgiving, girls! And about your Black
Friday experiences; I always love a good shopping story! Send them to
mlatjnadhmelly@gmail.com . You never know what story I might choose
to feature in the column!
I’ll talk to you all in December, ladies. Have a great month!
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The Secret To Walking Gracefully In Heels:
7 Tricks That Work
by Kat Collings
When Marilyn Monroe said: “Give a girl the right shoes, and she
can conquer the world,” we’re fairly certain she was talking about
heels. But if you can’t walk in said heels? Well, that essentially
negates any potential conquests, whether you’re in the boardroom
or the bar. Accordingly, we’ve put together the seven secrets to
walking in heels the right way.
Scroll down to check out the life-changing tips, and while
you’re at it, why not treat yourself to a new pair of killer
heels? After all, you’ll need something to test out your new
skills!
Trick 1:
The easiest way to look like an amateur in heels is to
put your whole foot down at once, as if you’re
wearing flats. When wearing heels, put your heel
down first, followed by your toe. This will make your
walk look more natural.
Trick 2:
Wearing heels makes your stride shorter than normal, so
you’ll have to take an increased number of small steps to
go the same distance. We’re not recommending baby
steps, but don’t try to take your usual long strides either.
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Trick 3:
Trying to walk quickly in heels often ends up looking
quite awkward. Between the smaller steps and the
compromised balance, it’s best to take your time in heels.
Besides, walking slowly gives off an air of confidence.
Trick 4:
You may find you want to walk faster than your heels
will allow, and end up craning your neck forward to
compensate. This ends up looking strange, so allow
yourself to lean just the slightest bit back when walking
in heels, as this will counteract your inclination to lean
forward.
Trick 5:
When you want to draw a straight line, you’ll get better
results if you look at your end point as you draw, rather
than looking at your pencil as it moves. Similarly, when
walking in heels, you’ll walk more gracefully if you look
at your goal point (maybe it’s the podium at the end of
the stage), and visualize a straight line going toward your
end point, rather than looking down at your heels as you
walk.
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Trick 6:
As you take each step, or if you feel yourself slipping,
arch your foot slightly to put pressure on the inside of
your shoe. This will make your shoe fit closer to your
foot, making it easier to maneuver.
Trick 7:
If your shoes are ill fitting, it makes the difficult task
of walking naturally in heels almost impossible. If
your heels are too big, use shoe pads for a better fit. If
they are too small, consider having them stretched by
a local cobbler, or try this hack to stretch them
yourself
Break in stiff or snug-fitting shoes by putting them
on with socks and blasting your feet with a hot
hairdryer.
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Higher, Higher, Higher: The History of the Heel
These heels were made for walkin'. Until you fall.
By Liana Satenstein
Whether they meant status, caused pain, or symbolized beauty — heels have been
a staple wardrobe piece from Ancient Egypt to today’s red carpets. Some ancient
cultures wore them to stay above mud, while in modern times, we try to keep our
red bottoms out of the mud. So where and why did this towering trend originate?
Read on.
1. The Ancient Heels, 4000 B.C.
Whether it is lingerie or tattoos,
the chic civilization of ancient
Egypt has been on its trend game
since about 4000 BC. Why did
people opt for a little foot boost
back in the day? The approach was
more utilitarian than chic: Butchers
wore heels to avoid dirtying their
feet with the guts and remains of
slaughtered animals. Gross.
2. The Death Heel, 1400s 1600s.
Chopines win the "trip and die"
scary shoe award — they basically
consist walking on 5 to 36 inch
stilts. Chopines were an
international trend in Turkey, Italy
and Spain. They were introduced
for reasons such as status (the
higher the stilts, the more
luxurious your life was) and so that
women's dresses would not get
muddy. Another bizarre and
archaic reason was to control
women: These fashion femur
killers made it difficult for women
to run away from home or commit
morally reprehensible acts, like
dance.
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3. On Tuesdays We Wear Red Heels, 1701.
Between his lavish, luscious locks and thigh grazing short shirt, it only makes
sense that Louis XIV rocked red heels. The King was the original Regina George—
one of the Mean Girls who stuck to the "you can't sit with us" motto when it came
to his fancy kicks — only the in-crowd, the monarchy, was allowed to wear red as
it was symbolic of power and wealth
4. The Modern Heels, 1954.
Roger Vivier came onto the scene with his three inch stiletto designs for Christian
Dior in the mid-1950s. Like Dior, the designs were lavish, jewel adorned, and ultaglam.
5. The Supermodel Heel, 1993.
Vivienne's Westwood's freakishly vertiginous platform stilettos is what caused
supermodel Naomi Campbell to teeter, topple, and fall on the catwalk. The shoes,
named Super Elevated Gillie, had a nine inch heel height with a four inch platform,
and secured Campbell a spot in the Runway Fall of Fame.
6. The It-Girl and Celeb Heel, Present.
On the feet of just about every female celebrity in Hollywood, Christian Louboutin
is credited with bringing stilettos back en vogue during the '90s. Noted for their
iconic red soles, the "Louboutins" (pronounced: loo-boo-tan] have become a status
symbol. The shoe designer also introduced an element of sex into the heel, creating shoe décolleté, or toe cleavage, and created über-high stilettos that often
reached over 4 inches. Tough to walk in? Christian Louboutin does not care —
beauty triumphs the pain! And truthfully, we'd hobble around any day in a pair of
those skyscraping stunners.
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Are High Heels the Result of Evolution?
Tasi Zuriack |
Crossdressers love their high heels. In a recent poll
on Sister House, 50% of crossdressers owned 11
pairs of heels or more with one girl coming in at 113
pairs (yes, Payless shopped there J) But is there a
reason why we have this love affair with heels. New
research offers an unexpected explanation for their
allure — one that has nothing to do with increased
height.
Fashions in dress come and go, but the high-heeled shoe has stayed in style for many
generations, and shows no sign of fading away. It’s the high-heeled shoe, which first became
a fashion statement in 16th-century France, and has been a part of the modern woman’s
wardrobe since the mid-19th century. Actually, they copied it from men and now it’s here to
stay.
What actually brought heels back for women? Pornography. Mid-nineteenth century
pornographers began posing female nudes in high heels, and the rest is history (this, by the
way, is exactly what happened with cheerleading, originally exclusively for men).
Ask a woman why she endures the awkwardness and discomfort, and she’ll probably respond,
“They make me look, and feel, more attractive.” Newly published research suggests this
perception is accurate, but perhaps not for the reason you’d expect.
It’s not the artificially increased height that turns heads. Rather, it’s how such footwear
changes the mechanics of a woman’s gait. “High heels may exaggerate the sex-specific
aspects of the female walk,” a University of Portsmouth research team reports. They argue the
enduring popularity of high-heeled shoes suggests their fundamental appeal stems from a
deeper impulse as this short video demonstrates.
To test whether walking in high heels increases one’s femininity and attractiveness, the team
conducted two experiments using a point-light display. Participants (15 men and 15 women)
viewed dotted outlines of 12 women as they walked for a total of four minutes apiece—two
minutes in high-heeled shoes, and two minutes wearing flats.
39
They were then asked to rate how attractive they found the figures.
“For all walkers, the attractiveness score was higher in the heels condition than in the flat
condition,” the researchers report. Both males and females judged the women wearing high
heels to be more attractive than those who wore flat shoes.
In the second experiment, 120 participants (82 women and 38 men) watched the same dotted
-outline footage and were asked to judge whether each of the models was male or female. (As
noted earlier, all were, in fact, women.) While wearing flats, 28 percent of the women were
incorrectly classified as men; among those wearing heels, that number went down to 17
percent.
Why? The researchers report that, while wearing high-heeled shoes, the women “walked in a
fashion more characteristic of female gait.” Specifically, “walkers in high heels took smaller,
more frequent steps,” and this reduction in the length of their stride was accompanied by
“increased rotation and tilt of the hips.”
In other words, high heels exaggerate the differences in the ways men and women walk,
making the wearer appear more feminine. This can happen on either a conscious or an
unconscious level, but this evidence suggests the dynamic is real, and transcends fashion fads.
Some studies show that high heels are clearly bad
but who cares. Women clearly love them. Here
are some ways in which the anatomy of the body
changes due to the wearing of heels. Long term
wearing of heels can have a negative effect but
most of us would view these changes as very
positive in nature, particularly in the way they
help to create a feminine silhouette.
But then other studies find that women who wear
high heels not only have better toned legs, but
they also have better, more pleasurable sex. Do
you really need another reason to go shoe
shopping.
40
According to a study conducted by Italian scientist Dr. Maria Cerruto, they looked at over 50
women, and found that those who wore shoes at a 15 degree angle from the ground (about
two inches) had more relaxed muscles than women who did not wear inclined shoes. Think of
it like doing pelvic exercises, except instead of feeling goofy while you lay on your carpet and
hump the air, you’re just out on the town, looking good and being fashionable.
So the next time your SO tries to protest a new hot heel purchase, remind her that you’re not
the only one this benefits.
Finally, how high is too high?
“I think there’s a limit, though. Anything over four-and-a-half inches is just too much. You
can’t walk properly; it’s no longer elegant.” (Yes, I know some of you love those 5 inches and
up shoes)
But in fact, even four-and half inches is too high to be
healthy. A limited height — practical — is the key.
“Moderately high heels,” Dr Cerruto, a urologist at the
University of Verona, Italy, calls them.
Sabrina Saudelli, a Rome beautician says,”It makes
sense that heels are good for abdominal and pelvic
muscles … to counter the lean forward, you tighten the
abdominal muscles and push the pelvis under.”
An advocate for wearing heels in general, Saudelli claims “a small heel is actually good for the
posture, much better than ballerina flats.” But truly high heels, and especially a wobbly stiletto,
is bad for the back and a risk for twisted ankles.
“Once you go over three inches regularly,” she adds, “your posture and back are going to
suffer.”
So ladies, for all their sex appeal, stilettos, sadly, don’t count. Still, there are many beautiful
shoes. Here in Merida, ladies of all ages wear them with everything from jeans to evening
gowns. They are the ultimate fashion statement. Come visit our Shoe Boutique at Sister House
and see for yourself.
41
How to wear the fall 2014 fashion trends
The nine elegant and essential pieces for fall—with expert advice on how to wear them. Get inspired by
these designs, and look for similar styles at your favorite department stores.
COLORED COAT
There's a perfect winter coat out there, and it may even bear a resemblance to
the one already hanging in your closet, with one notable difference: It's light
green, or pale salmon, or dusty pink. But it's not black, charcoal, or navy.
Wear your coat of pistachio mohair (the fuzziness enhances the softness of
the look) with pants and a top of another color, but in a similarly dusty tone
to keep the whole outfit refreshing.
MIDI DRESS
It's the hemline of the 1920s—that not-exactlylong-but-then-again-it-covers-the-knees silhouette. And it has an inherent
sweetness, recalling a time when bathing suits were belted and bare ankles
were racy. To bring it up-to-date, wear a midi-length dress or skirt with
lace-up boots or shoes that are slightly clunky and rugged. (Paired with
this hemline, stilettos or spindly shoes can look too prim.)
LIGHTWEIGHT TWEEDS
As long as there are crunching autumn leaves, brisk winds, and the
inviting smell of a wood fire, there will be tweed. This season, designers
are making a subtle change by replacing the white threads of standard
black-and-white herringbone and Donegal tweeds with pink, pale green,
or other soft shades. Worn either as a jacket or a monochromatic suit, the
effect is a subtle, graceful way to dress up a classic.
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SHEARLING JACKET
The mandate for winter jackets this season is about as simple as it gets:
Make it shearling. Beyond that, it's up to you. Short nap, long nap,
worn with jeans, worn over a dress—fall's shearling jackets come in
every imaginable shape and dimension (and haircut). Details like
leather trim, double zippers, and heavy collars make them urban and
relaxed, not earnest and outdoorsy. They're the ideal weekend staple.
FLOUNCY DRESS
To anyone who is a ballerina, wants to be a ballerina, or wants to be
mistaken for a ballerina: This is your moment. The prettiest dresses of
the season—the ones you can wear out to lunch or to a cocktail party—
are flouncy, floaty, and very feminine. Look for a dress that falls above
the knee and has fluttering sleeves and a soft silhouette. With all that
softness, a demure color could come off too precious: Find one in
black, white, or both.
SLIP DRESS
Your new slip dress may need a slip, but it shouldn't be a slip. Here's
the difference: A slip has lace and bows; a slip dress is free of
adornment. A slip is made of featherweight fabric; a slip dress is
heavy silk or burn-out velvet. A slip is held up by spaghetti straps; a
slip dress has straps at least two inches wide. A slip looks best in pale
colors; a slip dress is dark or metallic. A slip is worn under a dress or
to bed; a slip dress is worn with a trench coat to a party.
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SLOUCHY PANTS
Draped trousers are emblematic of the entire season—fluid,
versatile, and user-friendly. And here's the drumroll part: They
can make your legs look inches longer. Here's how: 1. Look for
pleated wool pants that are cut generously through the legs. 2.
Wear them with a narrow, tucked-in top to accentuate the waist. 3.
Step into heels and make sure the hem almost grazes the floor.
You should see the tips of the shoes, not the heels
STRONG SWEATER
Sweaters make a statement this season, so be sure yours stay on
message. There are differences between your favorite snuggly cashmere and a sweater you can wear to work, to a meeting, and out to
dinner. Look for one in a deep color, like emerald or burgundy. Or
one with a giant collar. Or one with tons of texture. (Just not all
three, please.) Pull your hair up and wear pants that are skinny, dark,
and no threat to the sweater.
TOP-HANDLE BAG
Once upon a time, they were called handbags. But this is not that.
The handles on a top-handle bag aren't actually for holding, silly.
They're more decorative, which explains the red shearling on this
one from Fendi. Instead of carrying the bag by the handles, do
what models and fashion editors do and cradle it in your arm like a
football. And thus concludes the only time you will ever see Fendi
compared to a football.
44
5 Ways to Tell If Heels Will Hurt
Before You Buy Them
By Kat Collings
We have a love-hate relationship with heels. The four-and-half-inch stilettos that make you feel like you
own the world Friday night leave you scarred with blisters the next morning. What’s a girl to do? Get
smarter about heel purchases.
1. Pay Attention To The Heel Cup
Manufacturers put a stiffening agent in the heel area, or the counter of the shoe, so it retains its shape.
The stiff nature of the counter makes it a prime spot for friction and blisters. Opt for shoes made of real
leather or suede, because it’s more pliable than synthetic materials, and will mold to the shape of
your foot, thus reducing chafing after a few wears.
2. Do The Thumb Test
Your shoes are guaranteed to hurt if you buy them too small! There should be a thumb’s width from
the front of the inside of your shoe to the end of your longest toe. Leaving this bit of space is crucial
for your foot to have a little wiggle room when it moves in the shoe, rather than forcing it to create friction against the sides.
3. Conduct An In Store Assessment
Don’t just stand up in the shoes and walk a couple steps, go for a cruise around the store. In
department stores, the shoe sales floor is specially padded to heighten the appearance of comfort, so it
helps to walk out of the area—if it’s available, try walking on tile. Secondly, close your eyes so your
sense of touch is heightened, and focus on how your feet feel. Look out for pressure at particular
points, which is a sign of future blisters.
4. Look For Platforms, Chunky Heels, Wedges, & Low Heel Height
All of these things work to take pressure off your foot, leaving you with pain-free feet at the end of the
day. Conversely, you can expect that very high, single-soled stiletto heels will likely hurt your feet.
45
5. Buy Shoes At The End Of The Day
Your foot expands slightly throughout the day, especially in the summer, so if possible try to shop for
shoes toward the end of the day. If you buy shoes in the morning when your foot is at its slimmest, they
may be too tight by the end of the day.
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How To Accessorize Effectively!
By Cynthia Nellis
I once told a friend in college that accessories are the key
to a great outfit. We were in school for fashion
merchandising, discussing the sartorial choices of our
peers (note: wearing head to toe designer labels does not
make you fashionable by default). I expressed my opinions
on how accessories make or break a great outfit, and now
I’m here to share them with you!
Let’s start off with the necklaces. The rules of necklace
wearing is fairly simple: if you’re wearing a “busy”
shirt, keep the neckline simple. If your top or dress is
simple, rock out all out want! Also, be sure to stick to
only one statement piece (the IT piece for fall accessories)
or multiple layers of simplicity. On trend this season?
Neon rhinestones. OH YES. And mixing metals can be ohso-chic when done well.
Simplicity, via KTRStyle.com
Statement, via Dannijo.com
Mixed metals,
via EffortlessCool
Statement, via
SaraStrand.no
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Next up we have bracelets. Nobody quite knows how to accessorize better than The Man Repeller’s
Leandra; her “arm parties” are literally to die for. The key to a great arm party? Start with one thing
big, whether it’s bold and statement making, or a watch, or a thick bangle. I personally always begin
with my favored Michael Kors Watch (which I love and think everyone should aspire to own!). Add
some on-trend bangles or bracelets, which currently includes bright friendship bracelets, beady skulls,
bulky chains, and pretty much anything else you can get your hands on. Alex & Ani have personlized
bracelets that are perfect for layering!
Arm party, via vintagevirgin.com
Arm party, via TheManRepeller
Via AlexandAni.com
My own arm party! Via
EffortlessCool
Rings can be done however you like. Some people layer them, while people like me like to keep it simple. It’s pretty much based on what else
you’re doing; if you’re doing a statement necklace, keep your arm party
down low, and your rings even more subtle. If you’re
focused on the bracelets, add some more fun to your fingers and keep
your neckline basic.
Mixed metal rings, via
Indulgy.com
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Statement rings, via hippielazman
An even bigger statement, via MrKate.com
How to Walk Like a Woman
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Lucille Sorella is a GG (genetic girl) who
teaches crossdressers, transsexuals, and transgender females how
to look, act, and feel like real women. Her goal is to help T-women
express their inner and outer femininity and increase their confidence
as women. She has a professional background in fashion, beauty,
dance, and natural healing and has been working with the transgender community for the past 12 years. Her website is loaded with
useful information and is located at
http://www.flat2fem.com/index1.html
Your walk is a critical aspect of your feminine image.
The two biggest mistakes I see crossdressers and
transgender women make are:
 Walking like men
Over-exaggerating their movements
In this article, I’m going to reveal how to achieve a
natural, feminine walk. But first, let’s look at the 3
biggest differences between male and female walks:
1. Men tend to walk with a “shoulder swagger”, while
women sway their hips when they walk.
2. Men have sharper movements, while women
usually have more fluid movements.
3. Men walk with longer strides than women do.
49
Here are my top 3 tips for walking like a woman:
1. Do the Hip Matrix
Most advice for TG women focuses on the mechanics of how to walk like a woman. But this advice
ignores the fact that males carry more tension in their bodies and therefore have stiffer movements.
Until you learn how to “loosen up”, your feminine walk will always look stiff and unnatural.
My friend Rob Brinded is a movement specialist and one of the foremost experts in male/female
movement reprogramming. His “Matrix” exercises are designed to release tension and free up your body
movements so you can walk like a woman.
If you do a test walk before and after the Hip Matrix, I promise you’ll be amazed by the difference! (You
can learn more about Rob’s approach to feminine movement in my Stepping Out Secrets program.)
2. Wear high heels
Women have a lower center of gravity than
men due to their larger hips. This creates that
sexy hip sway that’s characteristic of a
feminine walk.
Forcing your hips to sway usually looks
unnatural. Instead, practice walking in high
heels. High heels change your center of
gravity and exaggerate the forward curve of
your spine. This helps release the hips, which
naturally feminizes your movements.
You can enhance this effect by keeping your shoulders still when you walk. This forces you to use your
hips for balance.
3. Shorten your stride
Shortening your stride is another easy and
effective way to feminize your walk.
The average woman’s step length (the
distance from the toe of one foot to the toe of
the opposite foot) is 26”. So if you want to be
scientific about it, get out a ruler and measure
your steps! Keep in mind that the higher your
heels are, the shorter your steps should be.
There are other subtle elements that define a
feminine walk, but these tips are a great place
to start. Give them a try and let me know
what you think! I’d also love to hear about
any other movement tips or techniques you’ve
found helpful.
As always, thank you for reading and participating!
Love,
Lucille
50
10 Ways to Look Girly
Add Some Feminine Charm to Your Look
By Cynthia Nellis
Current trends may have an air of toughness (studs,
menswear) and minimalism, but there are still plenty of ways
to add a feminine touch to your look.
A little bit of softness - a pretty pink here, a peek of lace there
- really goes a long way in adding a youthful, feminine touch
to everything you wear.
Of course there's no need to go overboard and too cutesy: try
just adding an element of girliness and mixing it with
something casual, classic or even menswear. For example, you
could try a peplum top with a pencil skirt. Or wear a lacetrimmed blouse under a traditional black pantsuit.
Here are a few ways to add an updated girly touch to your wardrobe:
1. Peplum - Here's a trend that has snuck back onto the style radar, and for good
reason: it gives you an instant hourglass shape and even hides a tummy. It
looks deliciously feminine and allows women who might not be able to carry
off a straight chemise to wear a fitted one-piece dress. You'll also find jack
ets with peplums come this fall, giving everything from military-type jackets
to leather jackets a girly touch.
2. Ruffles - If ever there was an instant fashion fountain of youth, it's the ruffle.
I've seen everything from a ruffle-front houdstooth jacket to a tiered skirt of
ruffles pulled off with ease. Ruffles around the face and neckline soften your
face; ruffles around the skirt and hemline add a flirty element to everything.
3. Black lace - I must confess: I have always loved black lace. This season it is a
huge trend, in everything from straight black shifts to little peeks of black
lace trimming on tops. It's sexy, ageless and classic. You can't go wrong
here.
4. Slit skirt - Ask a man what one of his favorite looks is and he's likely to point
to the slit skirt as utterly feminine. The long slit skirt is back and I'm happy
to see it return. This is a great way for us girls of a certain age to show a
hint of leg without letting it all hang out.
51
5. Bows - Whether it's an oversized bow on the shoulder (Michelle Obama's
favorite fashion trick) or a bow at the waist, the bow is probably the single
most girly icon you can add to your wardrobe.
6. Gloves - So ladylike, so chic, and so something I didn't already own enough of.
Look for luscious colors and textures to wear with everything from coats to
bracelet-length jackets. Try brights for a fun, casual look, sleek leather for
an urban look or even chunky knits: however you wear them, they can be
elegant and feminine.
7. Patterned tights/hose - I became a patterned hose convert when my
celebrity stylist friend talked me into dressing up a basic black dress with a
pair. Since then, I have come to love patterned hose and tights. Although
black fishnets are a classic, I like everything from chain-stitch to paisley and
floral prints (all of these in black.) It feels younger than pantyhose, but still
gives my legs some coverage.
8. Sheer -A little sexy, a little girly. I like the effect of a sheer neckline or sleeve;
even a sheer overlay on a dress looks pretty and fresh.
9. Florals - Now you can take girly florals into fall and winter: designers have
cooked up dark floral prints that continue the bloom trend all year.
10. Feathers - Is there anything more completely girly than feathers? You don't
need to go full-on feather boa to get the effect either. Feather-trimmed
dresses - either at the hem or neckline - add an ethereal feeling to
everything.
52
Six Tips for Avoiding Transgender Discrimination in the Workplace
This post has been updated with contributing information from Denise Norris, Founding Director, Institute for Transgender Economic Advancement.
Transgender and other gender non-conforming employees present
special concerns for employers when developing and applying
personnel policies and procedures, from restroom access issues to
preventing discrimination and harassment. Employers who do not
address such issues run a real risk of violating a number of state
laws explicitly protecting lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender
(LGBT) workers from employment discrimination. Courts are increasingly receptive to the Equal
Employment Opportunity Commission's (EEOC) position that claims of discrimination based on gender
identity and/or gender expression are actionable under Title VII's sex discrimination prohibition.
The following tips can help employers prevent unintentional discrimination against gender-diverse employees in the workplace:
1.
Implement strong policies against discrimination and harassment that include "gender identity"
and "gender expression" — not transgender — as protected classes;
2.
Address transgender and gender non-conforming employees by the name, gender and pronoun
with which the employee identifies and make sure all managers, supervisors and coworkers do
the same, particularly if the employee realigned their gender after joining the company. In the
latter case, change the employee's work records, including identification cards, email accounts
and office directories, to reflect their identification;
3.
Allow employees who have permanently realigned their gender access to corresponding genderspecific accommodations, including restrooms and locker rooms. When possible also offer
gender non-specific, single-stall or single-occupant accommodations for all employees to use and
provide adequate signage to identify that the accommodation is accessible by all genders;
4.
Implement a gender non-specific dress code and apply it consistently; where a dress code is not
gender non-specific, ensure it is reasonable and can be justified by workplace requirements. Keep
in mind that employees have the right to dress in conformance with their gender identity and free
of sexual and gender stereotyping;
53
5.
Ensure the privacy of employees who have realigned their gender before joining the company is
adequately protected, and treat those who transition thereafter with sensitivity and
confidentiality; and
6. Incorporate transgender and gender non-conforming terms and issues into employee training so
other employees are able to relate to gender-diverse coworkers.
Protecting LGBT employees from discrimination and harassment is important. The laws of 18 states and
the District of Columbia currently protect individuals from workplace discrimination and harassment on
the basis of their sexual orientation and/or gender identity/gender expression. At the federal level, an
Executive Order is set to shield up to 16 million LGBT employees working on federal contracts, while
Title VII of the Civil Rights Act offers an increasingly viable claim against those who harass or
discriminate against others in the workplace based on their sexual orientation or expression.
Furthermore, as the American public's support of LGBT equality grows — 63% of 1,200 registered
voters in a recent national survey favor a federal law that protects LGBT people from employment
discrimination — allowing such discrimination and harassment can damage a company's reputation.
Policies that prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation, gender identity and/or gender
expression not only limit liability, but keep a company competitive and help it retain quality talent by
showing employees it values workplace equality. These policies enable employees to be authentic in the
workplace ultimately increasing employee performance and productivity. Companies can address these
issues in their anti-discrimination policies and compliance training with Thomson Reuters' online
Sensitivity Training or Preventing Discrimination and Harassment course. Online compliance training is
an easy and effective way to ensure employees understand how to recognize, avoid and respond to
improper conduct in the workplace.
Posted by Tiffany Robertson
Tiffany Robertson is a regular contributor to the Thomson Reuters blog.
Using her experience as a practicing attorney, she writes about legal
issues and how they relate to compliance in the workplace. She received
her undergraduate degree in International Relations from Boston
University and a master's degree in International Affairs from American
University. She holds a law degree from American University's
Washington College of Law, where she was also a member of American
University Law Review. Tiffany currently lives in Connecticut with her
two children and two rescue dogs.
54
The Gossip Fence
Transgender In the News
Atlanta police department drafts transgender interaction policy
ATLANTA — Atlanta police have adopted new policies establishing guidelines for officers’ interaction with transgender,
intersex and gender non-conforming citizens. Chief George Turner said in a statement Thursday that the guideline are meant
to ensure that transgender people and others are given the same level of respect and courtesy as others. The guidelines
include treating people in accordance to their gender identity while speaking to them, searching them or making an arrest.
Turner says department officials are also asked to keep in mind that a person’s gender identity may differ from what’s listed
on their government identification. Department spokesman Carlos Campos says department officials will be trained on the
policies, which are expected to be implemented at the end of November.
Facebook to change name policy
Following a second meeting with Facebook officials, San Francisco Supervisor David Campos announced Wednesday that
the social media giant would be making changes to its policy requiring real names to be used.
Campos said that Facebook also apologized to the community. "They're working on technical solutions to make sure that
nobody has their name changed unless they want it to be changed and to help better differentiate between fake profiles and
authentic ones," Campos said.
Drag queens, transgender people, performers, and survivors of abuse and stalking and others were upset about Facebook's
policy of requiring real names, saying it put members of the community at risk.
A Facebook spokesman could not immediately be reached for comment, but a post on the Valleywag blog prior to the October 1 meeting indicated that the company would be making changes to its name policy.
Facebook has long required users to register with their real, or legal, names, as they appear on a driver's license or credit card,
for example. The social media site last month deactivated the pages of several prominent drag queens because the performers
were using their drag, or stage names, instead of their legal names.
According to the Milk club's news release, community members brought a letter with them signed by nearly 100 organizations calling for an end to the real name policy. "The real name policy hurts the people that it's supposed to protect," stated
Milk club Co-President Tom Temprano in the news release. "We're asking Facebook to evolve their policy to ensure that all
of us are able to be our authentic selves online. We believe that if Facebook hears how this policy has been affecting so many
people that they will reconsider."
Facebook has a list of community standards that protects users from unwanted content such as violence, bullying, and hate
speech. When it comes to identity, Facebook wants people to "connect using their real names and identities" and to "refrain
from publishing the personal information of others without their consent."
"Claiming to be another person, creating a false presence for an organization, or creating multiple accounts undermines
community and violates Facebook's terms," the policy states.
Beyond marriage, the battle for LGBT equality marches on
For many activists, the top priority after marriage is federal legislation that would outlaw a broad range of discrimination
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against lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgender people. There’s no such federal law now, and more than half the states do
not ban discrimination by employers or public accommodations based on sexual orientation. “There’s absolutely no good
reason – if you can get married – why you should be denied a hotel room or a job,” said Fred Sainz, a vice president of the
Human Rights Campaign. “There will be a fair number of states where you can get married and be fired the same day for
having gotten married.”
A look at some of the challenges that remain:
NON-DISCRIMINATION
For all their advances, activists remain deeply frustrated by the lack of federal legislation barring discrimination based on
sexual orientation or gender identity.
HIV/AIDS
While marriage developments have kindled joy in the gay community, news regarding HIV and AIDS is sobering. According
to the latest data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, gay and bisexual men, who represent about 2 percent
of the U.S. population, accounted for 62 percent of new HIV infections. Each year, about 50,000 new infections are tallied.
A CDC report last month said only about half of gay and bisexual men diagnosed with HIV, the virus that causes AIDS,
received continuing treatment for the virus.
TRANSGENDER RIGHTS
Transgender-rights activists view their own array of causes in a good-news, bad-news context. There’s relief over some
recent legal victories for people who lost jobs because they were transgender. And there’s encouragement over the positive
portrayals of transgender characters on TV shows such as “Orange is the New Black” and “Transparent.”
Negative stereotypes are still widespread, and violence persists – notably attacks on black and Hispanic transgender women.
Another problem, is that many transgender people have difficulty getting needed health care.
Among the groups expanding work on transgender issues is the National Center for Lesbian Rights. It has represented many
transgender students who felt their rights were infringed at school, and is promoting transgender-inclusive policies for student
athletes.
“Every day, LGBT people are fired from their jobs, kicked out of families, and stigmatized in their communities,”. “Our
future work must assure that every LGBT person, no matter who they are or where they live, enjoys equality, dignity, and
justice.”
Felicity Huffman Discusses Cisgender Actors Playing Transgender Roles
Should transgender roles always be played by transgender actors? It's a question that garnered a lot of attention following
Jared Leto's role in "Dallas Buyers Club," and Felicity Huffman offered her take on the issue while chatting with HuffPost
Live this week. Huffman played a transgender character herself in "Transamerica," despite her identity as a cisgender woman.
Cisgender is a term used to describe an individual whose gender identity aligns with the one they were assigned at birth.
“I certainly understand the sentiment that a trans actor should play a trans role. And I support it. What can I say –- I think
transgendered [sic] people have been marginalized for a long time and I think you see that in people who are not trans playing
them.”
First womb transplant baby born
A woman in Sweden has given birth to a baby boy using a transplanted womb, in a medical first, doctors report.
The 36-year-old mother, who was born without a uterus, received a donated womb from a friend in her 60s.
The British medical journal The Lancet says the baby was born prematurely in September weighing 1.8kg (3.9lb). The father
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said his son was "amazing".
Cancer treatment and birth defects are the main reasons women can be left without a functioning womb. If they want a child
of their own, their only option is surrogacy.
Medical marvel
The identity of the couple in Sweden has not been released, but it is known the mother still had functioning ovaries. The
couple went through IVF to produce 11 embryos, which were frozen. Doctors at the University of Gothenburg then performed
the womb transplant. The donor was a 61-year-old family friend who had gone through the menopause seven years earlier.
Drugs to suppress the immune system were needed to prevent the womb being rejected. A year after the transplant, doctors
decided they were ready to implant one of the frozen embryos and a pregnancy ensued. The baby was born prematurely,
almost 32 weeks into the pregnancy, after the mother developed pre-eclampsia and the baby's heart rate became abnormal.
Both baby and mum are now said to be doing well.
In an anonymous interview with the AP news agency, the father said: "It was a pretty tough journey over the years, but we
now have the most amazing baby.
Two other medical teams have attempted womb transplants before. In one case, the organ became diseased and had to be
removed after three months. Another case resulted in miscarriages.
LGBT Americans more likely to live in poverty
A report the Movement Advancement Project and other groups released on Tuesday concludes LGBT Americans are more
likely to live in poverty because of discrimination and anti-LGBT attitudes.
The report cites a 2012 Gallup survey that found 20.7 percent of LGBT people earn less than $12,000 a year, compared to
only 17 percent of heterosexuals. It also notes 15 percent of transgender Americans earn less than $10,000 a year, compared
to only 4 percent of the general population.
The report notes the annual income of households of gay couples with children who live in states without same-sex marriage
is on average $8,912 less than those of opposite-sex couples and their children. This gap narrows to only $689 in states where
gays and lesbians are able to legally marry. Same-sex couples of color are more than twice as likely to live in poverty than
their heterosexual counterparts, according to the report.
Report singles out ‘outdated and discriminatory laws’
A Mississippi law that critics argue allows business owners to deny services to LGBT people based on their religious beliefs
took effect on July 1. Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer in February vetoed a similar bill that advocates dubbed the “turn away the
gay” bill. Mississippi is among the states that do not include sexual orientation or gender identity and expression in its antidiscrimination laws. The U.S. Census also indicates Mississippi is the poorest state in the country, with slightly more than 22
percent of its residents living below the poverty level between 2008-2012.
The Center for American Progress co-authored the report with support from the Center for Community Change, the Center
for Popular Democracy, the National Association of Social Workers and the National Education Association.
Louisiana State University introduced an LGBTQ minor program this fall semester.
Louisiana State University introduced an 18-hour LGBT minor program this fall semester, joining an increasing list of
universities offering programs focused on sexual and gender identities.
Classes for the LGBT minor include Introduction to LGBTQ Studies, Social Work With Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and
Transgender People, Evolution of Sex and Gender, and Family Life Education, according to the university website. Classes
are drawn from multiple departments, including political science and theater.
Julianne Martin, president of Spectrum, the LSU LGBT organization, told USA Today College that it is beneficial and
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important to educate others on oppressed groups.
“I think that much of hate comes from a lack of what people don’t understand and, rather than trying to do some research on
it, many people just respond negatively because it doesn’t fit ‘the norm,’” Martin said.
LGBTQ Allied Organizations Alarmed by Trend of Prosecution of Survivors for Self-Defense; Call for National
Advocacy and Charges to be Dropped Against LGBTQ Survivors for Defending Themselves
We, the undersigned allied lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ) organizations are deeply concerned by the
national trend of prosecuting survivors of anti-LGBTQ hate violence for defending themselves. Currently Eisha Love, a
young African American transgender woman, who was violently attacked by a group of people in a transphobic hate violence
incident in her own neighborhood, is facing first degree attempted murder charges for defending herself from this attack. Eisha was the only person arrested. Eisha is currently being held by the Cook County department of Corrections in Chicago.
New national CDC campaign features Asheville transwoman
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) just launched a new HIV awareness campaign this past month,
“HIV Treatment Works!”
The campaign is the first of its kind, utilizing the stories and faces of people who are living with HIV and are on
treatment for the condition. Fifteen people across the country were chosen to share their challenges and successes with
staying in treatment for HIV. The campaign will feature print ads for magazines, posters and billboards. Participants also
created public service announcements which will be hitting cable stations over the next few months.
The CDC for the first time also chose to use a transgender person as a spokesperson. As a transwoman who survived an
AIDS diagnosis about 18 years ago, when I was told I would be dead in about four weeks, this campaign is important
because the stigma related to both HIV and transgender is commonplace in my life. The fact that the CDC wanted to use
my face and voice to help educate others is a millstone for both the HIV/AIDS communities and the transgender
community
More than 1.1 million people in the United States are infected with HIV, the virus that causes AIDS. Southern states now
have the highest rates of new HIV diagnoses, the largest percentage of people living with the disease and the most people
dying from it, according to Rainey Campbell, executive director of the Southern AIDS Coalition, a non-profit group serving
the 16 Southern states and Washington, D.C. Fifty percent of all new HIV cases are in the South. In the Asheville/Buncombe
County area there are about 1,200 known cases of people living with HIV/AIDS. These states also have the highest fatality
rates from HIV in the country, according to the Southern AIDS Coalition.
Maryland trans anti-discrimination bill goes into effect
The Maryland General Assembly has passed the Fairness for All Marylanders Act (FAMA), which will go into effect October
1st.
The act, which protects trans people from discrimination in housing, employment, credit, and public accommodations, based
on gender identity, faced challenges, but was signed into law by Governor Martin O’Malley last month.
Religious organizations and educational institutions, and owner-occupied rentals with five units or less have been provided
with exemptions to the new law, as well as public locker rooms.
Maryland will join 17 other states and Washington, DC that have included gender identity in discrimination laws.
Penises follow vaginas as regeneration lab gets ready for human tests
The researchers behind test tube vaginas have reached the point where now they are ready to test their lab-grown penises.
The Guardian reports that Wake Forest Institute for Regenerative Medicine in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, is assessing
engineered penises for safety, function and durability.
The rabbit studies were very encouraging," Professor Anthony Atala, director of the institute, said, "but to get approval for
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humans we need all the safety and quality assurance data, we need to show that the materials aren't toxic, and we have to spell
out the manufacturing process, step by step."
The penises will be grown using the recipient's own cells, so as to reduce the risk of rejection. This means the technology
won't work for female-to-male sex reassignment surgery. That said it will help children born with genital abnormalities. Historically because of a lack of tissue for reconstructive surgery, baby boys with ambiguous genitalia are often given a sexchange at birth.
"Imagine being genetically male but living as a woman," Atala said. "It's a firmly devastating problem that we hope to help
with."
The same research group came up with lab-grown vaginas a few months back.
According to a BBC report the vaginas were successful, as women who had them reported normal levels of "desire, arousal,
lubrication, orgasm, satisfaction" and painless intercourse.
State police will track anti-bias incidents in 2015
Beginning next year, Pennsylvania state police will track bias incidents directed specifically against transgender individuals,
an agency spokesperson said last week.
“The FBI has positioned themselves, and we have positioned ourselves as well, to begin collecting data in gender bias
specifically for anti-transgender, beginning Jan. 1, 2015,” said Pennsylvania State Trooper Adam Reed in an email.
New federal guidelines encourage the tracking of bias incidents on the basis of race, religion, nationality, ethnicity, gender,
gender identity, sexual orientation and disability. About 1,700 law-enforcement and educational agencies across the state,
including the Philadelphia Police Department, are expected to track bias incidents against transgender individuals. The
agencies provide bias-incident data to state police on a monthly basis, and state police convey the information to the FBI,
which publishes an annual hate-crimes statistics report.
About a year ago, state police created a bias category called “anti-lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender.” But that category is for
incidents directed against LGBTs in general, such as vandalism of an LGBT center.
Since January 2003, state police have collected bias-incident data on the basis of sexual orientation.
On average, the Philadelphia Police Department reports three bias incidents annually on the basis of sexual orientation. New
federal guidelines also encourage law enforcement and educational agencies to collect bias-incident data on the basis of antigender non-conformance.
“Individual agencies within a state program can submit their data directly to the FBI, provided the individual agency has
received prior authorization from their state program,”. The new federal guidelines aren’t mandatory. “The FBI relies on the
agencies to make a good-faith effort to comply with established guidelines,”.
City subpoenas sermons in equal rights case
Houston's embattled equal rights ordinance took another legal turn this week when it surfaced that city attorneys, in an
unusual step, subpoenaed sermons given by local pastors who oppose the law and are tied to the conservative Christian
activists who have sued the city.
Opponents of the equal rights ordinance are hoping to force a repeal referendum when they get their day in court in January,
claiming City Attorney David Feldman wrongly determined they had not gathered enough valid signatures to qualify for the
ballot.
City attorneys issued subpoenas last month as part of the case's discovery phase, seeking, among other communications, "all
speeches, presentations, or sermons related to HERO, the Petition, Mayor Annise Parker, homosexuality, or gender identity
prepared by, delivered by, revised by, or approved by you or in your possession." The subpoenas were issued to pastors and
religious leaders who have been vocal in opposing the ordinance. The Alliance Defending Freedom, a Christian legal
organization known for its role in defending same-sex marriage bans, filed a motion Monday on behalf of the pastors seeking
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to quash the subpoenas, and in a press announcement called it a "witch hunt."
The city's lawyers will face a high bar for proving the information in the sermons is essential to their case, said Charles
Rhodes, a South Texas College of Law professor. The pastors are not named parties in the suit, and the "Church Autonomy
Doctrine" offers fairly broad protections for internal church deliberations, he said.
Calling it an "unusual but not unprecedented" subpoena request, Rhodes said the city would stand a better chance of getting
the sermons if it were a criminal case in which the message or directive in the sermons prompted a specific criminal action.
Still, he said, the city likely will get a boost because many of the sermons are broadcast or recorded and are intended to be
shared with the public.
Ordinance supporters said the video proved the signature gatherers were aware of the rules but flouted them anyway. "If
someone is speaking from the pulpit and it's political speech, then it's not going to be protected," Feldman said. Plaintiff
Jared Woodfill disagreed, saying the subpoenas impinge on protected religious freedoms.
"This is the city trampling on the First Amendment rights of pastors in their churches," said Woodfill, a former chairman of
the Harris County Republican Party.
City Secretary Anna Russell initially counted enough signatures to qualify the opponents' petition, with about 600 more than
the required 17,269 signatures. Feldman then looked through all of the petition pages to see if those who gathered signatures
met city charter requirements - namely, whether signature gatherers were Houston residents and whether they signed the
petition pages. That process disqualified more than half the 5,199 pages. In their suit, opponents claimed Russell's original
count should be the most important one and alleged Feldman had inserted himself into the process illegally.
The ordinance protects transgender residents' ability to use the restroom consistent with their gender expression, regardless of
their biological sex, but puts the onus on the individual to prove he or she was a victim of bias.
The city also is seeking any information about payments and incentives offered to people contracted to circulate the petitions,
and the tax information associated with those payments. The city does not intend to back down from its request and is
working on a response to the Alliance Defending Freedom's motion, Feldman said.
Time Names Transgender Teen One of 25 Most Influential
Time magazine has apparently passed “the transgender tipping point,” to use a phrase from its Laverne Cox cover — it has
included the best-known transgender teen in America in a nationwide competition of its own creation. The magazine has
placed 14-year-old Jazz on its list of the 25 Most Influential Teens of 2014, published online Monday, and readers will choose
the single most influential teen from that list.
Jazz has been living as a girl for nine of her 14 years. Her parents say Jazz, assigned male at birth, was diagnosed with gender
dysphoria (then called gender identity disorder) as early as age 3. Parents Greg and Jeanette, who have declined to provide
their last names or hometown out of concern for their family’s safety, have not been shy in explaining how they came to
accept that their son was really their daughter. They have told her story on television several times since 2007 and starred
with her in a documentary, I Am Jazz: A Family in Transition, which debuted on OWN in 2011. Jazz has even cowritten a
children’s book with Jessica Herthel. Jazz calls the book, also titled I Am Jazz, her way of explaining what it’s like to have “a
girl brain but a boy body” and how her family came to understand her need to identify as a girl.
Now Time readers get to decide if Jazz is more influential than any of the 24 other teenagers they’ve chosen for this
honor. She has some pretty stiff competition, including Malala Yousafzai, just named the youngest-ever recipient of the
Nobel Peace Prize.
Trans woman at 81: 'It's never too late to be yourself'
A trans woman has claimed she is the oldest person to have genital reassignment surgery in the UK - at the age of 81.
Ruth Rose, a former RAF navigator, knew she was a woman at the age of nine but has had to wait decades to feel truly happy
in the body she is in.
She is now speaking out, saying trans people should be able to live their real lives at any age. 'I’m enjoying the fact that I
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have made the transition,' she said.
'My main thing in life isn’t going around saying I am a lady now. But not a day had gone by since I was nine when I didn’t
think I was in the wrong body. I always felt I was a woman.'
Rose, a campaigner for Age UK, said it was a hip and knee replacement that wondered whether it was time for her to get the
surgery. While she was happy having made the transition without it four years ago, she said she wanted to feel more
'feminine'. 'It was my doctor who told me to go ahead. She said, "Go to the clinic and get it done,' she told the Sunday
People. 'My doctor had said I should have the gender -transformation operation but I thought I was too old. I thought I had
left it too late. But the surgeons wouldn’t have done it if they didn’t think I could go through with it.
'I am the oldest person to have it done.'
Barney Frank: Transgender people don’t have rights legislation because they wouldn’t help lobby
Retired congressman Barney Frank has attacked the head of the Human Rights Campaign for apologising to trans groups, and
claimed trans people are only excluded from rights legislation because they wouldn’t help lobby for it. The openly gay
Democrat, who retired from the US House last year, made the claims in an interview with the GaVoice.
He was reacting to news that Chad Griffin, the President of the Human Rights Campaign, had apologised for his group’s previous lack of integration with the trans community, and lack of trans-inclusive LGBT rights legislation. Mr Frank said:
“Chad Griffin’s one of those people whose political judgement seems to be off.
“The transgender community had this mistaken view [in 2007] that if Nancy Pelosi waved a magic wand, transgender would
be included. And we were insisting to them that, look we don’t have the votes, help us lobby.
“Instead of trying to put pressure on the people who were against them, they thought they could just insist that we do it. We
said, ‘We’re trying, but we need your help.’ “The issue was we did not have the votes for an inclusive bill. It wasn’t a failure
of will. Then the question was, was something better than nothing? Was it better to pass a bill that was protective of lesbian,
gay and bisexual people or pass nothing? We tried very hard.”
A transgender mom becomes Working Mother of the Year
Meghan Stabler describes herself as “just like any other mom, be she single, partnered or married.” She says, “I’m planning
meals, balancing budgets, figuring out how to encourage my child to enjoy reading, and juggling my schedule to
accommodate taking my daughter to the doctor when she’s sick.” She’s a business executive and a human rights advocate.
She’s also just been named Working Mother’s Working Mother of the Year, and as such, she’s not just like any other mom.
She’s a trailblazer. Because she’s the first transgender woman to achieve that honor.
Straight, white and male are still the default in the workforce, and straight and cisgender are still the default on the homefront.
For Working Mother to, in its choice of honoree, acknowledge the need for a broader understanding of the need for different
ways of looking the work and domestic sphere, and to acknowledge that transgender moms are moms too is a beautiful and
welcome gesture. It’s a sign that, despite the massive amount of work still to be done, the world is getting a bigger, and our
view of what makes a family a broader. Which means it’s a little bit better place for all of us to raise our k ids.
45% rise in transphobic crime
Transgender hate crime has increased by 45%, new Home Office figures show. Campaigners said the rise could be due to
higher levels of police confidence in the trans community.
Transgender hate crime saw the biggest percentage increase out of the five strands of classified hate crime, while disability
and homophobic crime increased by similar proportions to race hate crime.
From 2013 to this year, there were 44,480 hate crimes recorded by the police in England and Wales, an increase of 5% in the
previous period.
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Crimes motivated by a person’s race were up 4% to 37,484 cases and religious hate crimes were up 45% to 2,273 offences –
statisticians believed this was driven by the murder of soldier Lee Rigby in May last year. Crimes motivated by a person’s
disability increased by 8% to 1,985 cases. Disability and transgender hate crime are the only two strands which have increased each year since 2011-2012.
Five hundred and fifty five transgender hate crimes were recorded from 2013 to this year.
Additionally, the report by the Home Office claimed police may have improved their recording of crime and the identification
of motivating factors for offences over the last year. But the Home Office also said it was less clear whether the increase in
sexual orientation, disability or transgender hate crime reflects a real rise in hate crime or improved police identification of
such offences.
A report published last year by Law Commission highlighted that social media frequently allowed extreme examples of hostility towards transgender individuals to go unpunished.
Students punished for dressing like girls for Spirit Week
RANDLE, Wash. – When students at White Pass Junior and Senior High School in Washington state were told to dress like
their favorite celebrities, organizers likely expected Miss America and Nicki Minaj to be on someone's list. But two boys
who wore those two costumes were given a choice by their principal: change or go home.
The sophomores chose to go home.
"If they really wanted Spirit Week, why punish somebody for being spirited?" asked 15-year-old Chandler Krueger, who
dressed as Minaj, a pop music star. Superintendent Chuck Wyborney has not investigated what happened, but said after reviewing district policies, "If it happens again, we'll handle it differently."
At least 10 boys came to school Thursday wearing women's clothes to show support for their classmates. Girls also dressed
like boys. No one was asked to change their clothes.
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