Ruth`s Journey - Interfaith Immigration Coalition

Ruth’s Journey
Building CommuniCommuni-TEA
An interfaith tea and dialogue on women and immigration reform
April, 26 2013
Duke Memorial United Methodist Church
504 W. Chapel Hill Street, Durham NC
Ruth’s Journey: A Model of Friendship, A Call for Immigration Reform
Ruth’s story cuts across many faith traditions, and serves as a powerful
model for us today. Ruth’s journey marks one of friendship, struggle,
welcome, and inclusion. Motivated by her loyalty and friendship to her
mother-in-law, Ruth became a sojourner, an immigrant in Naomi’s
homeland. She toiled as a migrant worker to provide for the two of them.
Ruth and Naomi teach us to foster strong families and communities by
nurturing friendships and welcoming the sojourner and migrant worker.
Across North Carolina and beyond, women of many faiths have fostered
friendships that transcend their differences in ethnicity, language,
religion, age and background. By telling their unique stories that in
many ways mirror the strong friendship and loyalty between Ruth and
Naomi, these women remind us all of the moral imperative for
immigration reform that prioritizes family unity, improves the lives of
refugees, and creates a roadmap to citizenship.
But Ruth said, “Do not press me to leave you or to turn back from
following you! Where you go, I will go; where you lodge, I will lodge;
your people shall be my people, and your God my God…”
Then the women said to Naomi, “Blessed be the LORD, who has not left
you this day without next-of-kin; and may his name be renowned in
Israel! He shall be to you a restorer of life and a nourisher of your old
age; for your daughter-in-law who loves you, who is more to you than
seven sons, has borne him.” Then Naomi took the child and laid him in
her bosom, and became his nurse. The women of the neighborhood gave
him a name, saying, “A son has been born to Naomi.” They named him
Obed; he became the father of Jesse, the father of David.
Ruth 1:16, 4:14-17 (New Revised Standard Version)
This program is held in honor of Gulalay Bahawdory, affectionately called
Gully, who left this world all too soon on October 8, 2012.
We pray that her life may be celebrated and teach us to care for one another.
Gulalay, the Flower
By Bettie Lou El Omari, longtime North Carolinian and friend
Let me tell you about a woman named ‘Flower’, whether by her parents or herself I do not know. I only knew
her by the name Gulalay which means flower in Dari, her native language from Afghanistan. and her
nickname: Gully. The red poppy is symbolic of Afghanistan; she gave me several small gifts with the poppy
on them and had several things with red poppies on them in her home; they will forever remind me of her.
We met shortly after I had read and watched the movie “The Kite Runner” by an Afghani American author.
Gully was a modern secular Muslim woman about my age, had been university educated in Bulgaria. We lived
fairly close and enjoyed similar interests. We drank gallons of green tea, cup by cup, at her house or mine,
while nibbling almonds. She had told me several times I was her best friend, her only friend, which warmed
my heart but also broke it. She worked at a retail store for years and had acquaintances, but said she never felt
close to any of them.
We spent so many delightful hours chatting, dying hair, her teaching me to cook ‘dal’/lentils the Oriental way,
picking berries off the tree in her yard, grocery shopping, working on her English pronunciation, and studying
for her U.S. citizenship exam. Gully passed her exam with flying colors, and was so proud to be sworn in as a
U.S. citizen. Little did I know the underlying current of tension she was feeling, but she never even hinted
about to me. I have learned a never-to-be-forgotten lesson about how big the concept of ‘saving face’ is in
Muslim culture. If she couldn’t tell me, the only friend she had here, her fears, who could she tell? No one,
except her husband.
As I later learned, Gully had come to the U.S. in the 1990s seeking political asylum, was denied, and was
going to be deported, but she left beforehand. She left her fingerprints on record, however. She went to
Germany where she had family for several years. At some point she changed her name to hide the identity
which had marked her to be deported before. I have not asked her husband her ‘real’ name because to me she
will always be sweet Gulalay, Gully-Jan (Jan added to show respect).
She had been a citizen at least two years when she learned she was being investigated as having the same
fingerprints as the woman who was here in the 90s and fled deportation. Her husband hired an international
lawyer, but said the fear of being sent back to Afghanistan was always on her mind. As I understand, the
attorney felt optimistic that everything would be dismissed but was duty bound to state that there was a
chance she could be deported and she could not rule it out completely. If it was 1%, Gully chose to focus on
that 1% possibility. Was she a pessimist? Not that I could see. Or was the life she had experienced in
Afghanistan so awful that she could never face it again? Possibly so, because several months after the
investigation began, she drove to a local lake after work and drowned herself. She left sweet notes of despair
to her husband, the police and to the attorney, saying she was sorry but just too depressed to go on living.
I write this story to commemorate a woman who did not deserve such anguish, either in he repression of
women in her own country, or the fear that her new life in this great ‘land of opportunity’ was being snatched
from her, sending her back to what she perceived of as ‘hell’. As Solomon wrote in the book of Ecclesiastes,
“To everything there is a season: a time to be born and a time to die.” Gulalay is gone now and what’s done
can’t be undone. It is my hope that by telling her story, those who work for refugees and other disadvantaged
women who long to come to America and contribute nothing but good, will never doubt their opportunity.
The flowers of the field are here today and gone tomorrow, but the fragrant memory of this Flower’s life
lingers on.
Event Program
Welcoming Address
Rev. Anne Hodges-Copple, Bishop SuffraganElect, Episcopal Diocese of North Carolina
Opening Remarks
Renee Chou, WRAL News Reporter/Anchor
The Importance of Friendship and Family
Casey Smith and Aline Nyirashimwe
Neighbors and Mutual Discovery
Flicka Bateman and Christine
Love of God and Community, Across Cultures
Kristine Barnes and Edith Salazar Veliz
Starting a Business, Feeding the Community
Vimala Rajendran
Questions and Answers
Concluding Remarks
Brenda Wills, President, Church Women United
in North Carolina
Rev. Anne Hodges-Copple, Bishop SuffraganElect, Episcopal Diocese of North Carolina
The Rev. Anne Hodges-Copple was elected Jan. 25 as bishop
suffragan of the Episcopal Diocese of North Carolina. Rev.
Hodges-Copple has been Rector at St. Luke’s Episcopal Church
in Durham, NC since 2005. Before attaining this position she
was Episcopal Chaplain to Duke University, Assistant to the
Rector, St. Luke’s Episcopal Church, and Director of Battered
Women’s Shelters Community Organizer. She received her
Bachelor of Arts from Duke University in 1979 and Master of
Divinity from the Pacific School of Religion in 1984. She was
born in Texas and has lived in North Carolina for most of her
adult life.
She was baptized, confirmed, and married at the Church of the
Incarnation in Dallas. She was not inclined to become ordained
until her senior year at Duke University when she was studying
Public Policy with a vocational affinity for low-income housing.
She deferred acceptance to University of Texas Law School and moved to Boston, MA to work
for Massachusetts Fair Share as a community organizer. While in Boston, Rev. HodgesCopple started reading theology and ethics on her own, including Bonheoffer, Nouwen and Robert
McAfee Brown. Coupled with a discovery of the Old Testament prophets, this theological
grounding led her to seek a Masters in Ethics from the Pacific School of Religion.
It was not until the summer of 1982, while working as a health fair organizer in Martin County, KY,
that the Spirit of the Lord led Rev. Hodges-Copple to Raleigh to go see Bishop Estill, who had
come to North Carolina from St. Michael’s and All Angels in Dallas. Meeting Bishop Estill, along
with Lex Matthews, opened up new doors and new vistas.
Among her greatest joys as a priest for the last twenty-four years has been the chance to mentor
young adults in vocational discernment – lay and ordained. At least twelve undergrad and grad
students who participated in the Episcopal Student Fellowship during her Duke tenure are now
ordained priests serving all over the United States. She has loved organizing mission trips that range
from Princeton, North Carolina to Bay St Louis, Mississippi, to Heart Butte, Montana, and to Belize,
Honduras and Palestine/Israel. St. Luke’s has ongoing relationships with churches in Tanzania,
South Sudan and Belize. These journeys often lead to new vocational directions for participants.
While her husband John, their three children and she have been happily rooted in North Carolina
for a long time, life in the church has given her a sacred web of friendships that reach across the
world and continue to enrich all of their lives.
Renee Chou, Reporter / Anchor WRAL-TV
Moderator
Since 2004, Renee Chou has served as an anchor and reporter for WRAL-TV. Prior to working with
WRAL, Renee worked as an anchor and reporter for KCRG-TV in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, and as a
general assignment reporter for KOMU-TV in Columbia, Mo. Renee’s work earned a Regional
Emmy for News Special in 2013, and garnered four Emmy nominations in the past three years. Her
reports have also earned awards from the Radio Television Digital News Association of the
Carolinas, Iowa Associated Press Broadcasters Association, and Missouri Broadcasters Association.
She was also named a Cedar Rapids Women of Achievement honoree in 2002.
Renee’s news philosophy is “to tell fair, accurate and compelling stories that matter.” She received a
Bachelor of Journalism degree from the University of Missouri. She enjoys tennis, playing the
piano, singing and dancing. Renee also serves as a current board member, past president, and
founding member of the North Carolina chapter of the Asian American Journalists Association. She
also sits on the board for Wake County Community Foundation and for International Focus, the
Raleigh-based non-profit group that hosts the annual International Festival.
She lives with her husband Mike, and says her favorite things about North Carolina are the friendly
people and the mild winter (when you compare it to the bitter cold and snow of the Midwest!) Her
favorite books include "Angela's Ashes" by Frank McCourt; "The Liars Club" by Mary Karr;
"Growing Up" by Russell Baker; "The Glass Castle" by Jeannette Walls; "Tuesdays with Morrie" by
Mitch Albom; "The Opposite of Fate" by Amy Tan; "Longitudes and Attitudes" by Thomas
Friedman; "Memoirs of a Geisha" by Arthur Golden; "The Kite Runner" by Khaled Hosseini; and
"The Good Earth" by Pearl S. Buck.
CASEY and ALINE
On paper, Casey Smith and Aline Nyirashimwe are an
unlikely pair of friends. Casey Smith is 18 years old and
finishing high school in Chapel Hill, a quiet college
town with tree-lined streets and some of the most
highly educated people in the United States. Aline is
just 5 years older, but grew up in the chaos of the
Democratic Republic of Congo before fleeing to
Kenya with her husband and two young daughters.
Aline arrived in North Carolina in early December of
2012. She had Congolese friends and family in the area,
but also sought out the opportunity to practice English. CWS-Raleigh Durham helped her connect
with Casey Smith, who started a tutoring group for refugee children, worked to create a day camp
for refugee children in the Chapel Hill area, and has helped with employment skills classes. In this
time, Casey has developed a passion for refugees and a desire to study international relations as she
begins her university coursework next fall. The chance to work alongside refugees in North Carolina
has given Casey a sense of purpose as she pursues her own career path.
When Casey and Aline first met, they did what most of our conversation partners do: they began
working on grammar charts and building necessary vocabulary. But slowly, their relationship began
to change as a real friendship developed. Casey and her mother Lori took Aline and her daughters
Yvonne and Joyce to the library, taught them the local bus system, and helped them integrate into
the community. As Casey and Lori shared information with Aline and her family, they realized that
they too had a lot to learn. Even as a refugee in Kenya, Aline had refused to give up on herself. She
had used her education to work for a refugee consulting group that assists abused and traumatized
women from Congo, Burundi, and Rwanda. Even though Aline was a refugee and had experienced
many horrors herself, she worked as a counselor for other refugee women from her region. Aline’s
story helped Casey understand that refugees are not simply victims, but they are brave and strong
people who are fighting for a better world, just the way that she hopes to do.
Now that Aline and her family are here in North
Carolina, they continue to push forward into the
future. Aline’s husband Soni is working at a local
hotel and the girls are in school. In just a few
days, Aline will start her first job here in the
United States. The family now dreams of a
chance to better their education and to make a
home for themselves. Casey and Aline are
working on reaching these big dreams together.
“Working with Aline and her family reminds me
how important it is to value family unity in the immigration process. People moving to the United
States rely most on their families for support and familiarity throughout the challenges of
assimilation. I have truly enjoyed getting to know Aline and helping her family transition to life in
the United States.”
FLICKA and CHRISTINE
Christine and I first met in late December
2000 when her family rented a house across
the street from my husband and me. They
came to the United States after having lived
in a refugee camp for over 15 years.
Christine, 14 years old upon arrival, was born
and raised in the camp, while I had lived in
Chapel Hill for over 30 years.
There were three adolescents in the family,
and I took them under my wing. I helped
with tutoring, finding them part-time jobs,
teaching them to drive, and pushing them to
believe that college was a goal they could
pursue. Christine worked for us as our dog
walker and helped me around the house. Our relationship was one of mutual discovery. While she
learned much about American culture and the English language, I learned much about the Karen,
their background, their culture and the political situation in their country. Most importantly, I
learned about the courage and resilience of Christine’s family as well that of all other refugees who
had fled the brutal dictatorship in Burma.
By the time Christine was a high school senior, she had distinguished herself by taking two AP
courses while working part-time at a local veterinarian office. By this time, her family had purchased
a townhouse and moved to the other side of town. We were no longer neighbors. Sometimes a
friendship frays if there is not physical proximity. Luckily, this was not the case with us. The distance
between us became even greater when she went to Greensboro to attend college. However, we
stayed in touch by talking on the phone several times during the week and seeing each other on
weekends when she was back in town.
In 2009, Christine graduated with a degree in Chemistry and got a job in a research lab at UNC’s
School of Medicine. At that time I was working at UNC Hospitals, and her building was adjacent to
the hospital complex. That meant we could sometimes meet for lunch as well as see each other after
work hours. Gradually our relationship became one of more equal footing. I was no longer the
teacher, and in several ways Christine became my mentor and teacher. She started teaching a Karen
language course at CHICLE and I was her student. She tutored me in Karen on weekends. We
traveled to Thailand together to visit refugee camps, and she became my guide, interpreter, and
cultural broker. Last summer I started the Refugee Support Center and Christine has been my
support and cultural advisor in working with various refugees who walk in for help. Because both of
us are so busy now, we have structured a Friday dinner together once a month although we stay in
touch electronically and by phone frequently.
Our friendship is one of different cultures, different ages and different professions. However, what
we have in common is much greater than these differences and will continue to sustain our
relationship for years to come.
KRISTINE and EDITH
KRISTINE
My name is Kristine Barnes, and I moved from Wisconsin to
North Carolina in 1978. I met Edith in 2003 when my
husband told me about a Spanish language class offered at Luz
del Pueblo (long before it was Luz del Pueblo), a United
Methodist church in Cary, NC. Edith and I became friends
then. She invited another woman and me to come with her to
Perú to see her town, Peralvillo. At first it was more of a whim,
but it evolved into an actual plan. We decided to do a Vacation
Bible School at Edith’s family church. We ended up having
about 200 kids from the Lima Circuit for five action-packed,
day-long VBS sessions. The women of the church, Edith’s
family and a friend Efrain were a huge help! Since 2004
I have taken mission groups to Perú in 2007, 2009, and
2011. Raising money and helping to support several
churches is an ongoing passion for me. This August we
will make trip #6. From 2003 Edith and I have worked
together on all sorts of projects, large and small. The
most important of which was helping her gain support
to grow the ministry at Luz del Pueblo to the out-reaching
beacon in the Hispano/Latino community that it is today.
Church membership increased, more and more people
volunteered to become a part of the ministry. This
month the congregation and friends of Luz del Pueblo
will celebrate their 13th anniversary. ¡Gracias a Dios!
EDITH
My name is Edith Salazar Veliz, and I am originally from Peru. I
have lived in North Carolina since 2000. I married my husband,
who is from Mexico 8 years ago. We have one six year-old son,
Emanuel. I am a pastor at a United Methodist Church in Cary,
Luz del Pueblo/ Light of the People. When we began the
Hispanic ministry at White Plains UMC 13 years ago, I met
Kristine Barnes. She was interested in supporting the ministry
and learning Spanish. She got more involved in the ministry,
and helped us lias between English and Spanish speaking
churches. She saw the needs of our community, so she began
teaching ESL classes and assisted families in registering their children for school. Through this
involvement she began to know and really love the culture and values of the immigrants that speak
Spanish in our area. Our friendship was strengthened because we share common interests. Both of
us love God and enjoy serving people in the community. In the year 2003 we traveled to Peru as
missionaries, and visited local churches and communities around my place of birth. While there she
met and embraced my family as well.
VIMALA RAJENDRAN
Vimala Rajendran is the Executive Chef at Vilama’s
Curryblossom Café. She has been a longtime activist
for causes including grassroots media, international
peace and the fight against domestic violence.
Through it all, she has fed the movement. Her food
has shown up everywhere, from protests across the
region to weddings and private parties to the Weaver
Street Market lawn and Johnny’s in Carrboro. Vimala
grew up in Bombay where she learned to cook from
family, street vendors & friends. In 1994, as a single
mother of three, Vimala started cooking donationbased community dinners in her Chapel Hill home.
Sixteen years later in June 2010, thanks to the support
of her beloved community, Vimala’s Curryblossom
Cafe was born!
At the restaurant, Vimala enjoys recreating her
family’s favorite recipes, as well as new ones that she
introduces to her mother who openly welcomes her
cooking experiments. She would like to thank the Chapel Hill community for rallying behind her to
make her vision of creative, wholesome food a market-worthy reality!
In getting to know Vimala, one begins to understand her desire to serve the community. She grew
up in a Christian household in India and is still a devout believer. She first came to Canada, then to
the U.S., about 30 years ago as a newlywed. She speaks about resilience and struggle during this time,
a stark contrast to her vivid and loving stories about food and community today. Yet this
juxtaposition defines many aspects of her life. After enduring years of family violence and emotional
abuse perpetuated by her ex-husband, she says she finally found the courage to leave the abusive
household and never look back, with three small children in tow. This experience ignited her passion
for activism and care for community which is further fueled her family. Vimala has one brother,
Wilson and two sisters, Wilma and Margaret. She also has three children Manju, Anjali and Rajeev
who have been a driving force behind her growth.
Today’s Ruth’ss Journey event is sponsored
ponsored by:
NC Council of Churches
Refreshments for today’s event provided by
Respite Café,, 115 N Duke St
St., Durham, NC and
Vimala's Curryblossom Café
Café, 431 W. Franklin St.
Suite 16, Chapel Hill, NC
Special Thanks to Senator Kay Hagan,
Hagan
CWS Durha
Durham, WRAL-TV Durham,, and
Duke Memorial United Methodist Church.
Church