Latest Newsletter - Citizenswhocare.us
Transcription
Latest Newsletter - Citizenswhocare.us
B rief respite SPRING 2016 Learning to Live with a Different Me The Hardest Relationship of All A regular participant in CWC’s Saturday Club, Lauren U, a Board Certified Psychiatric Nurse, has early onset Lewy Body Dementia. She was assisted by Rev. Linn Possell in writing this article on relationships. Below are her thoughts: W hen I am asked about relationships I think about the one that has changed the most as a person living with Lewy Body dementia; that relationship is the one that I have with myself. I have always been independent, resourceful, and unafraid of change. I have always trusted myself to know what the next best thing was for me to do and followed my own path in life. My identity was closely tied to my vocation as a nurse and I trusted that I was both competent and dependable in this role. I was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia, and have subsequently experienced changes to my brain. Because of these changes, my relationship with myself has changed. Because of my brain changes, there are times when I have difficulty knowing what is real and what is not. Therefore, I can no longer trust myself and have had to turn to those around me and try to put my trust in others. I know that I am more fortunate than a lot of people living with dementia because my support system includes individuals that understand dementia and therefore understand me. While this is helpful and comforting, it does not replace the fact that I have lost my identity of being a nurse, which was once so important to me, and also that I am now unable to trust myself. It is a very weird place to be; having to place my trust and perception of reality in the hands of others. When I think something is real, I have to ask those around me to tell me if what I see or think matches with IN THIS ISSUE With Your Support CWC Supports Our Elderly and Caregivers Donation Envelope Enclosed Davis Beer & Cider Fest Saturday, June 4! Tickets on Sale Now page 7 what they see or think. For example, when I eat lunch at the day program where I go once a week, it is difficult for me to figure out where the food is. And when I am told that the food is in the cups provided for me, I usually see the food moving. There are two people that help me with this. If both people Lauren U with a CWC volunteer & friend at CWC’s Saturday Club tell me the same thing independently of one another; that the food is in the cups and that it is not moving, then I can match what they say and believe them. This is how weird my life has become. But that, at least, works for now. What is hard is when this weirdness, as I call it, has to do with my most trusted people. Then it is overwhelming and scary for me. Sometimes it is just too difficult to let go of the control of reality for me. When this happens, even when my most trusted friends try and help me, I cannot let go of what is real to me. I am sure that whoever is reading this has a trusted person in your life. But what if you had to trust that person’s reality over yours? Trust aside… it is hard. I feel as if I am one of the lucky ones to have my most trusted friends understand dementia. I know that not everyone has that. When I was first diagnosed, my two closest friends both left. One even went as far as to tell me that she regretted the amount of time that we had spent together because she could have spent that time with someone else. Those lost friendships are still difficult to think about. But I now have two (Story cont. on pg.6) When Family Decisions Get Trapped in Conflict C onflict is natural, particularly when family members are involved. The need for everyone to cooperate with each other does not necessarily end when the kids move out of the house. Families become faced with new issues and decisions as senior family members age. Common issues include: When should an elderly person give up driving? Should the older person move from the family home? What care-giving duties are needed, and who should provide them? Who should get conservatorship or power of attorney? The physical proximity of different family members, varying caregiving responsibilities, and roles within the family can influence the solution that each person envisions. When family members aren’t all on the same page, they typically put off talking about difficult issues until a crisis requires the need for an immediate decision. At that moment a combination of stress about an uncomfortable decision, a lack of immediate resources, or an unclear understanding of how to find and understand the relevant (Story cont. on pg.6) CAREGIVERS CORNER by Stephanie Koop, CWC Assessment Nurse In the new Caregivers Corner, you will find articles covering a variety of topics related to older adults and caregiving. This information should be informative and useful whether you are a volunteer, client, or caregiver. Questions, feedback or recommendations for future articles can be directed to me at: stephaniekoop.cwc@gmail.com. Two of the most important issues facing caregivers today are lack of caregiver support and inadequate information. Becoming familiar with community resources and accessing them can help caregivers solve both of these issues at the same time enabling them to care for both themselves and others. Caregiving can be a part or full-time job. Caregivers may live close to, far away from, or in the same home as the person they are caring for. Additionally, Two Community Leaders Join CWC Board T Smith brings healthcare experience to CWC oni Smith had a joyous childhood in Reno, Nevada and had a positive college life at the University of Nevada at Reno. After graduation, Toni attended medical technology school at UCDMC. She and her high school sweetheart, Bob Smith, married and lived in Los Altos until Bob chose to attend UCD grad school. They have made the Davis area their home since 1975. Toni decided to change careers in 1979 and attended nursing school at Sacramento State. As a nurse she liked the independence of home health nursing. Once her daughter started school, Toni became a school nurse at the DJUSD retiring in 2010. Toni has been on the board of the Davis Unit Salvation Army for 35 years. She has chaired the committee for the past ten years. Toni and Bob have been members of the Otwetiri Project since its inception ten years ago. The Project has built an elementary school in the village of Otwetiri, Ghana and continues to support needs in the village such as computers for the school and a public latrine building project. Toni is a regular at the fitness club; enjoys cooking, reading, hiking and participating in University Farm Circle programs. Toni believes in the mission of CWC and will strive to make a contribution to CWC. J McDonald aims to return kindness and compassion udy McDonald has lived in Yolo County since 1982 when she moved here to attend UC Davis. She received her BS and her teaching credential at UCD and has since taught elementary school in Dixon for 30 years. Judy and her husband, Blake, love living in Davis where they raised their two children. They love the outdoors and spend their free time hiking, biking, swimming and gardening Judy’s interest in CWC stems from her own experience watching her father deteriorate from Alzheimer’s disease. “Without the kindness and loving care of many caregivers, his life would not have been as full at the end. I feel that Citizens Who Care is a valuable organization and I look forward to working on the board.” they can provide help with a few tasks or be almost entirely responsible for the care of a friend or loved one. It’s easy to burn out. Preventing burnout is done through self care. Caring for yourself is as important as caring for your friend or loved one. Think of the safety message that flight attendants give you when you fly (and are traveling with a dependent)- first, put on your own oxygen mask, then assist the child with his/her mask. Caring for yourself combats stress and short tempers and allows you to provide the best care possible to others. Taking care of oneself can look different to people. Guilt should not prevent you from caring for yourself. Home care organizations, meal delivery services, friends, Adult Day Care Centers, and Assisted Living Facilities that provide temporary or permanent housing are good options to assist you in your caregiving duties. Successful caregivers cobble together a variety of services to help them get through the challenges of caregiving. Below are some places to begin looking for caregiving and other helpful resources: n Family Caregiver Alliance (caregiver.org, caregiverstress.com or 1-800-445-8106) provides a well organized website with a thorough explanation about all aspects of caregiving to people with dementia n Alzheimer’s Foundation of America (www.alzfdn.org or toll free 866-232-8484) provides an excellent FREE quarterly publication to those caring for people with dementia; the helpline is manned by social workers M-F 9a-9p EST n To find a palliative care provider in your area (getpalliativecare.org) this website also contains valuable information describing what palliative care is n For a thorough dementia evaluation and Alzheimer’s research trials (916-734-5496) n Davis Senior Resource Guide (www.cityofdavis. org or 530-757-5696) provides a listing of local services for the older adult n Alzheimer’s Association care for those with Alzheimer’s & dementia (alz.org or 1-800-272-3900 a 24/7 helpline) For Alzheimer’s & dementia support (helpforalzheimersfamilies.com or 1-888-734-8645) n For more information on other resources: www.CitizensWhoCare.us 2016 Grace Award presented to Judy Schumacher C WC’s Grace Award was started in 2004 by Evelyn Buddenhagen and named for a devoted CWC volunteer, Grace Hiddleson, who was the first recipient of the award. The name of the award refers both to Ms. Hiddleson and to the virtues of grace exemplified by “the Three Graces” of western mythology that inspired qualities such as; Excellence, Service to another, Charity, Mercy, Love, and Gentleness or Friendship. The award is given annually to a volunteer(s) who have excelled in their compassionate service to the elderly and their caregivers. By action of the CWC Board of Directors the 2016 Grace Award has been awarded to Judy Schumacher, recognizing her outstanding service to the community, to Michael Lewis, CWC President & Judy Schumacher CWC, and to all the elderly clients she has helped while displaying the personal qualities for which the award is named. Judy has donated 756 hours of volunteer service to CWC. Judy Schumacher became part of CWC in 2006 as a caregiver receiving respite. She was taking care of her mother, Catherine, in her home in Woodland. After her mother passed, she became a CWC volunteer in April of 2009 in our Woodland In-Home Respite and Friendly Visiting Program and has had several clients since. As a retired nurse, she has taken care of many over the years and continues to do so with the two clients that she currently visits. One of her assignments hasn’t needed respite for awhile as she had family visiting, but Judy has maintained communication with the caregiver on the phone giving a much needed opportunity for the caregiver to talk to someone who is safe and nonjudgmental. Judy has been visiting one of her clients for over five years and the other for over three years. Judy can be seen with one of her clients in the video that is on the CWC website. What’s in a Name? the language of aging H by Kathryn Skrabo, CWC Director of Senior Peer Counseling ave you ever given thought to what is an acceptable name to call the older segment of the population? Ina Jaffe, National Public Radio (NPR) correspondent filed a story in 2014 on just this issue. NPR conducted a poll of 2,700 older listeners and what she found was there is little consensus on acceptable terminology. Forty three percent polled liked the term “older adult.” Almost a third liked “elder.” And almost a third liked “senior” — but only 12 percent liked “senior citizen.” And there were terms they hated: “geezer,” “old-timer,” “elderly.” Surprisingly, even terms thought of as positive like “positive aging” or “successful aging” were not well liked which speaks to how quickly the cultural landscape is changing. In 2014, New America Media journalist Paul Kleyman surveyed nearly 100 journalists to identify what language was used in covering issues of aging to “help journalists represent midlife and older people in socially neutral language that represents individuality without preconceived notions”. “Older” was the top choice of the journalists surveyed. Terms like positive aging, healthy aging, and successful aging first surfaced in the 1950s, however it was in the 1980s that the term “successful aging” gained in popularity. Introducing a more positive lens to think about aging helped characterize aging as a process, moving the aging focus away from a single illness or disease emphasis. In the late 1990’s, the World Health Organization (WHO) adopted the term “active aging” to convey an even more inclusive message than what “healthy aging” did. This new term recognized there were many factors to consider that affect how individuals and populations age, not just health. The word “active” was intended to emphasize continued participation in social, economic, cultural, spiritual and civic affairs, not just the ability to be physically active or to participate in the labor force. As times change and the general population ages, active aging has challenged old ways of thinking about living, working and learning in later years. Now we find ourselves wondering, what are the right words to use that communicate these changes appropriately and in a positive way? Take for example the word retiree, a frequently used word. What does it mean exactly and how long should it be used? The term itself was first used in 1945 and according to Merriam-Webster it means someone who has permanently stopped working in a job or profession. But what if after you retire you pick up a part-time job, are you still a retiree? Or say you retired at 80, are you still a re- tiree fifteen years later? When does language change? Or does it? Or should it? Think about one of the new phrases "encore career" made popular by Marc Freedman in 2007 with his book Encore: Finding Work That Matters in the Second Half of Life. As a concept, it has given a positive social focus to those who want to work post retirement. Maybe what we need are more active phrases instead of single nouns to convey aging concepts. Take for example a phrase like “late life service worker” to identify an older person choosing to give back thru volunteer service in their community. As you can see it can get complicated at many levels with many factors to take into account, but regardless of which words we choose to use, it is important to recognize the critical role language plays in shaping the culture of aging and aging services. Finding and aligning with positive word(s) and phrases that include all segments of the population can only strengthen our collective understanding of the lifespan experience and improve quality of life for all. Volunteer as a Senior Peer Counselor Next Training: May 18 & 25, June 1 & 8, 4-6 pm Davis Senior Center Call CWC for info: 758-3704 Thank You Donors! 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Nugget Markets Sunrise Rotary Club of Davis St. John's Retirement Village, Inc. Sudwerk Restaurant & Brewery SwimAmerica-Davis Symphony Financial Planning The Cannery - The New Home Company Todd & Barbara Photography United Methodist Church of Davis Unity Center of Davis University of Davis Extension University Retirement Community White Labs Winters Community Theater Woodland United Way Yolo County Yolo Federal Credit Union MEMORIALS TOM ALLEN Michael & Sheila Lewis RICHARD BAILEY Irma L. Bailey IRENE BAKER Cleve B. Baker HERBERT BAUER Marilyn Roland VICTOR BURNS Michael & Paula Chulada CHARLES CALDWELL Marie Caldwell BOB CORDREY Katherine West DAVID, DALE, MARIA, MOM & DAD DP & CL Porter HAMILTON S. DAVIS, MD John & Judith Reitan VALENTE DOLCINI Bob & Joyce Wisner RICHARD FROST Bill & Claire Frost NANCY GNOSS Georgene Pucci FRED C. 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Allen Steven & Linda Blake Jim & Sharon Coles Nora McGuinness JOHANNA KNAUS Gretchen Manning MICHAEL & SHEILA LEWIS David H. Allen BOB LOOMIS Betsy True SUSIE MCGIBBON Dalia Frank JIM NAKAYAMA Pat Hutchinson STEPHEN PEITHMAN Pat Hutchinson Richard & Shipley Walters DAIR & DAVID RAUSCH Barbara P. Risling CAROL RAYSHELL Mary Lowry LENORE SEBASTIAN Pat Hutchinson RICHARD SCHONFELD Nancy Schonfeld-Warden VICKI TOUSIGNANT Mary Lowry KEN WAGSTAFF Jeff Anderson Steven & Marcia Ceccato KEN & DIANE WAGSTAFF Pat Hutchinson STEVEN WEINBAUM Dalia Frank HIBBARD WILLIAMS Judy & Andrew Gabor Rick & Linda Troy THANKS TO YOU Citizens Who Care’s 24th Annual Concert, Feb 5-7, 2016 Raised $20,000 for Elderly & Caregiver Support! BUSINESS SPONSORS In addition to patronage from our many loyal Annual Concert goers and individual sponsors, CWC fundraising was substantially enhanced by our generous 2016 Business Sponsors. Please patronize these businesses! They support the elderly and their families in our community. The Ensemble ($1,000+) Carlton Senior Living Davis Sunrise Rotary Davis Waste Removal Symphony Financial Planning learning to live (from page 1) other close friends who totally get my dementia and me. They get me and what I am going through because one has MCI and one has FTD. With these two friends I do not feel as if I have to ever hide my weirdness. With my other close friends, and even with my husband, there are still times when I feel as if I have to hide what is going on for me in my life. I do not know what I would do without my relationships because as I am living with dementia I have become very dependent on others. I have to wait for them so I can do things. I am no longer independent in my life or make decisions about my life. I have become dependent, and for me that is the hardest thing. Living with Lewy Body Dementia has changed my brain, my relationships, and my life. I am just fortunate that my people around me are people that I can trust, that understand dementia, and know that I am always doing the best I can. First published in 2016 Positive Approach, LLC Online Dementia Journal – February 2016. (Reprinted by permission of Lauren U.) family conflict (from page 2) information can make coming together nearly impossible. One often untapped resource is elder care mediation. Mediation is a guided discussion process, through which a trained neutral person helps families resolve conflicts and reach agreement. A mediator meets first with each family member to get a good understanding of what is important to each one. Afterwards a joint The Chorus ($500+) Atria Covell Gardens First Northern Bank Hallmark Properties Swim America – Davis University Retirement Community The Accompaniment ($250+) Brooks Painting Kim Eichorn – Lyon Real Estate Jeff Likes Clean Windows Neighborhood Partners St. John’s Retirement Village, Inc. Todd & Barbara Photography meeting is scheduled, where the mediator helps everyone address the issues together. The process can include the elder individual(s) themselves, or it can be between other family members. Topics typically include issues surrounding the care of a parent or decisions the family is facing once a parent has passed. Families are often surprised at how successful mediation is in reaching resolution. They are initially fearful that coming together will ignite a shouting match, or that the “unreasonable opponent” will never move from their position. An experienced mediator can take the heat out of charged conversations, structuring the dialogue in a balanced and productive way. For those concerned about airing the family’s dirty laundry, there are strict rules of confidentiality within any mediation. There is still the opportunity, however, to create an agreement that can be taken out of the umbrella of confidentiality, if all participants prefer. Another reason mediation is so successful is that it is a voluntary process. Each person comes to the table wanting to move forward, despite not knowing how to get beyond the fighting. A mediator trained in conflict resolution can untangle the family dynamics and help look at decisions in manageable parts, so that families can focus on moving forward together. If you would like to learn more about elder care mediation, contact Lora Barrett, a resident of Davis and an elder care mediator. You may reach her by phone at 530-481-5672, or by email at lora@lbmediation.com. You can also find more information at www.lbmediation.com. Non-Profit Organization U.S. Postage PAID Davis, CA Permit No. 13 P.O. Box 72650 Davis, CA 95617 Return Service Requested SPRING 2016 E • • • INSIDE THIS ISSUE Davis Beer & Cider Festival 2016 New CWC Board Members 2016 CWC Volunteer of the Year TIME VALUE - PLEASE DELIVER PROMPTLY Citizens Who Care’s Mission: To improve the quality of life for the elderly and their caregivers. CWC STAFF BOARD OF DIRECTORS Joanne Bell, Executive Director Cheri Kerr, Administrative Assistant Stephanie Koop, Assessment Nurse, Davis Susan McGibbon, Assessment Nurse, Woodland Ellie Slaven, Director of Volunteers Kathryn Skrabo, Senior Peer Counseling Program Director Hiyasmin Espiritu, Saturday Club Program Director Keiko Tokida & Kristina Rodriguez, Saturday Club Aides Michael Lewis, President Chris Hatfield, Vice President Jane Millett, Treasurer Lori Jennings, Secretary Janet Carrere Rose Cholewinski Robert Dowling Carl Eilers Karen Eilers Judy McDonald Julie Sheehan Walt Sykes Toni Smith Ken Wagstaff Administrative Office 409 Lincoln Avenue Woodland, CA 95695 (530) 758-3704 (530) 668-8780 Fax (530) 662-6866 Volunteer Services (530) 668-8780 citizenswhocare@omsoft.com www.citizenswhocare.us A United Way Agency