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Street Talk America Free October 2015 Horton’s Chipley Heating & Cooling, Inc. Serving Washington, Holmes, Jackson, Bay & Walton Counties Financing Available! Reduce your A/C & Heating bill with a new Energy Efficient Heat Pump! Call today for a free estimate! Ice Machines & Commercial Refrigeration 850-638-1309 • 850-258-7274 Lic. No. CMC1250301 In God We Trust! ® VIRTUALLY UNLIMITED HIGH-SPEED INTERNET 638-4191 Brown Funeral Home 1068 Main Street • Chipley (850) 638-4010 www.brownfh.net Before, During & After... We’ll be there in your time of need with the experience and compassion you deserve. A Minister and a Lawyer A minister and lawyer were chatting at a party. “What do you do if you make a mistake on a case?” the minister asked. “Try to fix it if it’s big; ignore it if it’s insignificant,” replied the lawyer. “What do you do?” The minister replied, “Oh, more or less the same. Let me give you an example. The other day I meant to say ‘the devil is the father of liars,’ but instead I said ‘the devil is the father of lawyers,’ so I let it go.” Traditional Services • Pre-Planning Services Serving the families in Chipley and the surrounding area since 1966. Don Brown, Owner, LFD Ryan Brown, LFD Brandon Wilkes, LFD Read more about the Hammack family and their family friendly farm on page 10. Front cover photo was taken at Hammack Farms by photographer, Nikki Elmore. 306 West Brock Avenue • Bonifay 850-547-9289 • 24 Hour Skilled Nursing for Short-term & Long-term Care • Private Therapy Suites for Short-Term Rehab • Admissions 7 Days a Week • Main Dining Area with Fireplace • Additional Dining Area as well as Private Dining Area • Ice Cream Parlor with Visitor Seating Area • Visitor/Patient Lounges • Enclosed Courtyard • Activities • New Therapy Equipment and Spacious Gyms • Newspaper and Street Talk America Delivery • Beauty/Barber Salon • Laundry Services • Cable TV • Inpatient and Outpatient Physical Therapy, Occupational Therapy and Speech Therapy Happy Fall! 2/ October 2015 Street Talk America Liar! A judge asks a defendant to please stand. “You are charged with murdering a garbage man with a chain saw.” From the back of the courtroom a man shouts, “You liar!” “Silence in the court!” The judge turns to the defendant again and says, “You are also charged with killing a paperboy with a shovel.” “You tightwad!” blurts the spectator. “Quiet!” yelled the judge. “You are also charged with killing a mailman with an electric drill.” “You cheap old geezer!” the spectator starts to shout. The judge thunders back, “ I will hold you in contempt! What is the reason for your outbursts?” “I’ve lived next to that liar for ten years now, but do you think he ever had a tool when I needed to borrow one?” My friend’s wife left him last Thursday, she said she was going out for a pint of milk & never coming back! I asked him how he was coping and he said, “Not bad, I’ve been using that powdered stuff.” Robert’s Automotive & Power Sports, LLC. Complete Auto/Truck Repair 1771 U.S. Hwy. 90 East, DeFuniak Springs, FL 32433 We Employ ASA Certified Master Technicians 850-892-4401 Mon.-Fri. 8-5 Street Talk America ® Washington, Holmes & Jackson Counties www.streettalkamerica.com In God We Trust! Crossroads Publishing LLC. P.O. Box 170 • Vernon, FL 32462 • (850)-596-8685 Publisher: Kelley Ward, Streettalkamerica@live.com Editors: Karen Mashburn and Edsol Jenkins Sales Representative: Winfred ‘Wimpy’ Carnley Contributing Writers: Judy Jenkins H.L. Brown BN Heard Angie Knight Sherri Evans Tim Patton Dr. Charlie Hinson Michael Kennedy, ARNP Timothy Shumaker Robert Birge Dave Ramsey Aimee Hammack Cartoonist: Marvin Jenkins Circulation & Distribution: 13,000 copies of STA are printed each month. STA is free and available at high traffic business locations in Washington, Holmes, Northern Walton and Jackson counties. Copies are also available by subscription. Gail’s Traveling Angels Trusted In-Home Care for Seniors of All Ages! 25 Years Experience • Excellent References 7 Days a Week/24 Hours a Day Commitment to Quality Care Compassionate, Skilled Caregivers “The cornerstone of our commitment is compassion combined with a full range of treatment services and so much more.” Personal Care • Transportation • Errands Light Housekeeping • Companionship • Meal Preparation Emotional & Spiritual Support Gail Hall - Manager Home (850)482-5424 • Cell (850)264-1793 Carol Hagin, Cell 850-557-0085 Lic# 233044 Street Talk America invites kids ages 3-11 to participate in our 2nd annual FALL COLORING CONTEST! See details on page 16. Winner will receive a family four pack to HAMMACK FARMS! Street Talk America is an outreach ministry devoted to uplift and entertain the reader. Any resemblance contained within this publication to some one or some thing is purely coincidental and not to bring harm or insult to anyone. Information, stories, helpful hints, jokes, studies and all other miscellaneous writings, drawings, and pictures are published without malice, but with the intent to entertain, inspire or teach; not to cause disillusionment or confusion to anyone; person, party affiliation, company, denomination or other named or unnamed entity. The writings contained within Street Talk do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher or editor. Street Talk America is not the author of many of the jokes contained herein and claims no copyright privileges to those that we didn’t author unless noted. The jokes contained herein are not known to be copyrighted and are believed to be part of the public domain. Every effort is made not to use copyrighted material without the author’s consent. To report an improper use of a copyrighted joke please contact Crossroads Publishing, LLC., and we will take the appropriate steps. Street Talk America October 2015 /3 YOU are all He needs! By: Tim Patton Pastor, Shiloh Baptist Church I was on staff at a church that was doing community outreach in a particular area of town. We would go to the community center and do games, have crafts, and teach a Bible story. I was looking forward to this one particular week as I was getting to teach John 6, the feeding of the 5,000. We were teaching through the miracles in the book of John and helping the children see that Jesus is the Lord over all things. My job was to help the children see that Jesus is Lord over our needs and provides for our needs, as He provided for the needs of all those assembled. I was sharing how when all those people showed up, Jesus turned and asked Phillip how they were going to feed all those people. Phillip grew very frustrated with Jesus’ question and exclaimed that even eight months wages would not be sufficient to buy enough bread for everyone to even have one bite! To help them grasp the enormity of Jesus’ question, I showed the children that if you made minimum wage and worked six days a week for eight months, it would be approximately $8,000 (back then!). I decided to ask the children what was Phillip’s problem with Jesus’ question. In my “pastoral“ thinking, the answer I was searching for was that Phillip did not have enough faith. Phillip did not think Jesus could meet everyone’s need. As a matter of fact, it did not even occur to him to consider that thought. So, all prepped to hear these great spiritual answers from these children, I asked, “What was Phillip’s problem that caused him to be so upset?” A third grade boy’s hand shot up in the air and he called out, “He’s broke!” After I finally stopped laughing, I had to admit that he was absolutely right. Phillip was too broke to pay for any food for all those people! His answer, though, allowed me to lead right into the next scene: Andrew. The next person to approach Jesus was Andrew with the boy with five loaves and two fish. Andrew stated that he did not know how so little could help among so many. His statement demonstrated a little more faith than Phillip’s but still showed his doubts. I love Andrew! Even though he did not have much to offer, he was willing to give it and let Jesus take care of the rest. I strongly reminded them that they were never to let anyone tell them that they had nothing to offer. God only asks for us to give what we have and let Him take care of the rest. Never think that God cannot use us or that we have nothing to offer for God’s use. That is a great lesson for us all. While many of us struggle with the thought that we are too ordinary, we often forget that our God is extraordinary! Never think that you have nothing to offer for God’s use. If you are willing to use your time, your money, your relationships, or your giftedness for His glory, great things can be accomplished through you. God is never concerned about what you might have to offer for His use, He simply wants to use you. You are all He needs! Waiting on Sarge “Well,” snarled the tough old sergeant to the bewildered private. “I suppose after you get discharged from the Army, you’ll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and spit on my grave.” “Not me, Sarge!” the private replied. “Once I get out of the Army, I’m never going to stand in line again!” 1976 Shiloh Lane • Chipley, FL South of I-10, Just off of 277 www.shilohbaptist.net Sunday Morning Wednesday Night 9:00 Connection Cafe (Coffee on Us!)* 6:00 Mid-Week Worship* 9:15 Small Group Bible Study* Surround Sound Student Ministry 10:30 Worship Service** Kid’s on Mission *Nursery provided for new born to PK4 **Nursery & Children’s Church (up to 3rd grade) 4/ October 2015 Street Talk America Conductor Bob Bob is a conductor on the Railroad. He has great rapport with the regulars, but occasionally runs into a problem rider. One passenger, for instance, seemed irritated at having to hand over his ticket to be punched. “Where are you going today?” Bob asked, smiling. “Well, what does the ticket say?” replied the traveler sarcastically. “Um, it says you’re on the wrong train,” Bob informed him. “What am I supposed to do now?” asked the flustered passenger. Returning the punched card, Bob replied calmly, “Ask the ticket.” Captains Ritual One of the world’s most famous merchant captains died, having long been admired by his crew and fellow officers. They remained puzzled, however, over a strange ritual he performed daily. While at sea he would lock himself in his cabin and open a small safe, take out an envelope with a note inside, and read it. After locking the paper back in the safe, he would return to his duties. For years this went on, and his crew became very curious. Was it a treasure map? Was it a letter from a long lost love? Everyone speculated about the contents of the strange envelope. After laying the captain’s body to rest, the first mate led the entire crew back to the ship and into the captain’s quarters. He opened the safe, got the envelope, and read the words aloud to an astonished crew: “Port: Left; Starboard: Right.” Dentist: I have to pull the aching tooth, but don’t worry -- it will take just five minutes. Patient: And how much will it cost? Dentist: It’s $90.00. Patient: $90.00 for just a few minutes of work? Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you like. Mr. Curtis’ Classics Can you guess what year, make & model these beauties are? Turn to page 37 to learn more! And it is a good thing to receive wealth from God and the good health to enjoy it. To enjoy your work and accept your lot in life— this is indeed a gift from God. Ecclesiastes 5:19 NLT A & G GUTTER LLC. 996 Donnell Rd. • Chipley, FL 32428 Seamless Gutters Robert ‘Bob’ Collins 850-638-4333 or 850-624-5488 recfl@bellsouth.net Insured Do you have a classic car or truck that you’d like to share with Mr. Curtis and the Street Talk readers? Send us a picture and any info you’d like included about your car. STA P.O. Box 170 Vernon, FL 32462 or email streettalkamerica@live.com Street Talk America October 2015 /5 A Little Pep Talk Bonnett Pond Rd, Chipley, FL 32428 woodmen.org Kathy C. Rudd, FIC Representative Phone: 850-832-0660 Fax: 850-638-3555 Cell: 850-933-7931 KCRudd@woodmen.org Woodmen of the World Life Insurance Society, Omaha, NE Old School Dad is from the old school, where you keep your money under the mattress -- only he kept his in the underwear drawer. One day I bought my dad an unusual personal safe, a can of spray paint with a false bottom, so he could keep his money in the workshop. Later I asked Mom if he was using it. “Oh, yes,” she replied, “he put his money in it the same day.” “No burglar would think to look on the work shelf!” I gloated. “They won’t have to,” my mom replied. “He keeps the paint can in his underwear drawer.” October DOORBUSTER SALE! This older man was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to receive the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son. “Yes Dad, what is it?” “Don’t be nervous, son, do your best and just remember, if it doesn’t go well, if something happens to me… your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife…” Chicken A retiring farmer in preparation for selling his land, needed to rid his farm of animals. So he went to every house in his town. To the houses where the man is the boss, he gave a horse. To the houses where the woman is the boss, a chicken was given. He got toward the end of the street and saw a couple outside gardening. “Who’s the boss around here?” he asked. “I am.” said the man. “I have a black horse and a brown horse,” the farmer said, “which one would you like?” The man thought for a minute and said, “The black one.” “No, no, no, get the brown one.” the man’s wife said. “Here’s your chicken.” said the farmer. Engineered Buildings Available! Deck Kits! 6x8 $219 8x10 $309 10x10 $389 12x14 $529 Dewalt 18 Volt 4 Tool Kit $439 While supplies last. Many more sizes to choose from! Attention Concrete Specialists! New shipment of tools in stock! Pole Barn Kits Available Several to choose from. New Picket Fence Panels in Stock! $21.99 Laminate Flooring $.99 per SqFt Heavy Duty Treated Lattice $15.99 Panhandle Lumber & Supply Drywall & Supplies 405 W. Hwy 90 Bonifay, Fl www.panhandlesalvage.com Tri-State Leader of Barn Kit and Deck Kit Sales Since 1997 6/ October 2015 Street Talk America Prices subject to change. Call to confirm prices. 850-547-9354 line, to the ONE who would beat the devil at his own game. That’s why it doesn’t bother me when I am left By: Dr. Charlie Hinson on the sidelines. I can’t wait to find out what His Plan When I was a kid, it was so embarrass- was for me from the foundations of the world! ing to be the last one picked to play on a team of sandlot ball. One always felt Eating Meat just a little bit “unwanted,” or “unnoticed,” or “not good enough.” It wasn’t The teacher in an Adult Bible Study Class asked one too bad when I was a Senior in High School; there were only five boys in the 12th Grade, and we wuz it! of the women to read about the Israelites wandering in the desert. “The Lord heard you when you wailed, ‘If But the occasional feeling of being passed over is only we had meat to eat!’” she began. “Now the Lord not limited to childhood; for some, it follows them will give you meat. You will not eat it for just one day, like goodness and mercy, “all the days of my life.” Moms and Dads also feel it when they see their kid in or two days, or five, or ten or twenty days, but for a less than first place. I am confident Eve felt a little bit month - until you loathe it.” When the woman finfrustrated. Cain had killed Abel, and left home to run ished she paused, looked up and said, “Hey, isn’t that for his life. But who remembers Seth? The other boy. the Atkins Diet?” The only thing the Bible really says about Seth is “To him also there was born a son; and he called his name An elderly man remembers the good old days: Enos.” Not class president. Not really good at any“When I was young, my mom could send me to a thing. Following in the shadows of others. Yes, Eve shop with a single dollar, and I would bring back was worried, for now, with Abel dead and Cain a fugifive pounds of potatoes, two loaves of bread, tive, how would the promise about “her seed bruising a bottle of milk, a piece of cheese and a dozen the serpent’s head” be fulfilled? eggs. Nowadays that’s impossible – there are You don’t have to be picked as a somebody to play an simply to many security cameras.” important role in the things of God! The world would put on the tombstone of many today, “They came, they were, and then they weren’t.” In your lifetime, you may never know why God has you doing the mundane, the obscure and things unnoticed by others. But if I’m not mistaken, the Word says He loves to take the simple and foolish things of this world to mess with the minds of the hoity-toities. But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty. 1 Corinthians 1:27 Oh, about Seth. God knew from the beginning Seth would father Enos, and Enos would father Cainan, and Mahalaleel, and Jared and Enoch, and on down the Second Class Citizen HORIZON HEALTH CARE • Diabetic Products • Pharmacy Services • C-PAPs • Diabetic Products • Hospital Beds & Supplies Van Hillard Siding & Roofing Co. • Vitamin Herbal Over& 30 Years Experience 850-526-5029 • Oxygen Equipment • Hospital Beds Vinyl Siding Supplements • Overhang & Fascia • Energy Efficient Windows • Walkers, Canes & Crutches Aluminum Patio Covers & Carports • Pressure Washing Painting • Insulated Mobile Home Roof Systems & Supplies • Mastectomy Fittings Aluminum Gutters • Wood Decks • Shingle Roofing Screen Rooms • Metal Roofing • Insurance/3rd "WE DO GOOD WORK" Party FREE ESTIMATES •Plans FINANCING AVAILABLE 1357 Brickyard Road • Chipley, FL • Oxygen 850-638-4719 Street Talk America October Equipment 2015 /7 Aunt Judy’s Kitchen Southern Recipes from “The Old House” By: Judy Jenkins Breakfast Squares 1 can crescent rolls ½ lb turkey sausage ¼ cup chopped onion ¼ cup milk 6 eggs 1 cup cheddar cheese Press crescent rolls on a 9x13 pan. Fry sausage and sprinkle over rolled crust. Beat eggs and milk together. Pour egg mixture over crust and sprinkle with onion. Bake 15-20 minutes in 350º oven. Remove from oven and sprinkle with cheese. Cut in squares before serving. Easy Lemon Cookies 1 box Lemon Cake Mix 2 eggs 1/3 cup vegetable oil 1 cup confectioners sugar Mix cake mix, oil and eggs well. Grease cookie sheet and roll into 1 inch balls. Then roll in sugar. Bake in 350º preheated oven for 10 minutes. “Where you go to meet your friends.” Somsri’s Serving Vernon Since 1994 Buffet Friday Night 20 PC. CHICKEN MEAL DEAL Buffet $9.99 4 - 16 oz. Sides Catfish Fillets & BBQ Ribs 8 Dinner Rolls Sat.& Sun. Breakfast Gallon of Tea $39.99 Bar w/Free Coffee Tues. & Wed. 11a.m.-2p.m. Thurs. & Fri. 11a.m.-2p.m. & 4:30p.m.-8p.m. Sat. 8a.m.-2p.m. 850-535-6425 Sun. 8a.m.-5 p.m. Hwy 79 • Vernon, FL 8/ October 2015 Street Talk America By His hands we are fed, thank you Lord for daily bread. Pineapple Meat Balls 20 oz can pineapple chunks ½ cup brown sugar 1 tbs soy sauce 1 tbs cornstarch ½ cup green bell pepper – chopped ½ cup red bell pepper – chopped Fully cooked meatballs Drain pineapple chunks saving juice. In saucepan, cook pineapple juice, sugar, soy sauce, cornstarch and peppers around 2 minutes. Place meatballs, pineapple and pineapple juice mixture in crockpot and cook until heated, at least 1 hour. Bean Salad 1 can wax beans 1 can green beans 1 can kidney beans ½ cup apple cider vinegar 1 green pepper – chopped 1 med onion – thinly sliced ½ cup salad oil ¾ cup sugar ½ tsp salt Drain beans. Put beans, green peppers and onions in large bowl. Mix all other ingredients in a jar and shake until sugar dissolves. Pour over bean mixture and refrigerate overnight. Stir again before serving. T&B Hidden Treasures Antique Mall & Collectibles 850-373-8281 or 850-768-0272 1215 Jackson Ave. Hwy 90 Chipley, FL Visit for a treasure hunt to remember! 12,500 sq. ft. of Antiques & Collectibles! Coconut Custard Pie 9 inch refrigerated pie shell ½ cup flaked coconut 4 eggs ½ tsp salt 1 ¾ cups milk Sugar substitute equivalent to ½ cup sugar 1 ½ tsp coconut flavoring ½ tsp vanilla flavoring Place coconut in an un-greased 9 inch pie plate. Bake for 4 minutes in 350º oven stirring several times, set aside. Line unpricked pastry shell with double thickness of heavy duty foil. Bake at 450º for 8 minutes. Remove foil and bake 4-6 more minutes and then cool. In mixing bowl, beat eggs and salt for 5 minutes. Add the milk, sugar substitute and flavorings. After mixing well, transfer to crust. Bake at 350º for 30 minutes. Sprinkle with toasted coconut. Bake 8-10 minutes longer. Cover and refrigerate. Creamy Lemon Squares Crust 4 tbs butter-melted 1 ½ cup graham crackers crushed ¼ cup sugar Mix ingredients and press into pie plate. Bake 8-12 minutes in 350º oven. Filling 2 large egg yolks 14 oz can sweetened condensed milk ½ cup fresh lemon juice In large bowl whisk together egg yolks and condensed milk. Add lemon juice, whisk until smooth. Pour into crust and carefully spread into edges. Bake about 15 minutes. Chill 1 hour before serving. G&P COUNTRY MEATS 3284 Main St. Vernon, FL. • (850)535-0080 Open Monday-Saturday In God We Trust! Mix & Match PICK 5’S for a GREAT DEAL! Pick 5 for $14.99 Pick 5 for $19.99 Pick 5 for $24.99 Just in time for Turnips Collards & Mustard, we have added the following items to our pick 5 selections! Fresh & Smoked Neck Bones & Pig Tails Smoked Ham Hocks & Hog Jowl Fresh Ox Tails Since God chose you to be the holy people He loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Colossians 3:12 NLT WE ACCEPT EBT, CREDIT & DEBIT Street Talk America October 2015 /9 HAMMACK FARMS 2nd Annual Corn Maze We are so excited and blessed to be given the opportunity to open up our farm for the 2nd annual Hammack Farms Corn Maze. When we purchased our home in January of 2014 we never imagined what the 52 acres of land with about 50 acres of planted pines would become in such a short amount of time. It’s hard to believe that in January our home was surrounded by a forest of pines and in October we opened a corn maze! Some may find that hard to believe and some may even call that crazy! That is what faith, determination, and a lot of hard work can do! We feel like we were blessed with this place for more than just our own family. We want to provide a place for families to make memories, create traditions and spend time together. Fall has always been my favorite season. I love hay rides, s’mores, and anything pumpkin! But it was my husband Ryan who envisioned the corn maze idea. Neither of us had ever even been to a corn maze until we cut ours in last year! Putting together this whole event takes a lot of work from our entire family. We have four children, Brenton, 16; Reanne, 13; Reid, 11; and Caden, 8. Doing this has definitely taught our children what it BEN SAUNDERS, DMD PEDIATRIC DENTISTRY • Pediatric Dental Specialist • Children, Adolescents, Keeping & Teens Kids • Orthodontics Smiling • In-Office Sedation • Hospital Dentistry • Special Needs Patients means to work and that is not a bad thing. They are proud to be a part of something that brings families together and provides a place for kids to have fun and they are looking forward to this year. We thank God for this opportunity and we give Him all the glory for everything we are doing here. If not for Him, there’s no way this would be possible! And we thank you all for your support, you are why we are doing this. We appreciate the gratitude we have received from so many who came last year and appreciated all of the hard work that was put into everything. We look forward to making memories with you all for years to come! We will be open to the public every Friday from 4pm-8pm and Saturdays from noon until 8pm for the month of October. Our last night will be Halloween night. We will not be doing anything scary. We will keep everything family friendly and hope you will plan to visit us sometime this month. We have many different things to do on the farm such as the corn maze, hay ride, tractor train for the kids, animal zoo, bounce houses, corn box, playground, pumpkin patch, and more. You can find all information including prices on our website: Hammackfarms.com and you can also find us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. We look forward to seeing you on the farm. Aimee Hammack Easy Care Lawn & Tree Service, LLC (850) 526- SPIT (7748) 4711 Highway 90 East • Marianna, FL (Between Burger King & Big Lots) 10/ October 2015 Street Talk America Free Estimates • Fully Insured ber 26th - October 31st s: 4:00 PM - 8:00 PM ys: 12 Noon - 8:00 PM HAMMACK FARMS H A M CK FARMS HAMMACKMAFARMS 201520OPEN! 15 NOW 2015 vailable for school and church groups! Hay Maze ~ Pumpkin Patch September 26th - October 31st ~ Tractor Train ~ Hay Ride O PEN IN G D A Fridays: 4p.m. - 8p.m. Y - S EPT OPENING DAY - SEPTEMBER 26TH! E M B pe Slide ~ Playground 26- 8p.m. T H! Saturdays: E 12R noon S e ptemField b26th er 26- th September October Sunflower - Octo31st ber 31st CORN MAZE Fridays4:00 Fridays: PM -P8:00 Reservations for : 4are :0 0available Msoon! - 8PM :0 0 PM vities to school be announced church groups! Saturdayand Saturdays: 12 Noon 8:00 PM s: 12 Noon - 8:0 0 PM *Reservations school and church groups! *Reservationavailable Corn for Box • Hay Maze s available for school and chur ch Pumpkin Patch • Petting Zoo Tractor Train • Hay Ride 20’ Pipe Slide • Sunflower Field yground SPlayground unto More activities flbe owannounced er F& ieMore ld soon! Corn Box ~ Hay Maze ~ Pumpkin Patch groups! Corn Box ay MaTrain ze ~ P~um Petting Zoo ~~ H Tractor Hay pkRide in Patch Petting Zoo ~ T rac~ to 20' Pipe Slide Playground r Train ~ Hay R ide 20' PSunflower ipe Slide ~Field Pla More activities to be announced soon! Find us on social media! Find us on social media! Find us on social Find media! us on social media! EED MORE INFO? 850.768.9673 NEED MORE INFO? 850.768.9673 hite Road - Bonifay, FL 32425 850.768.9673 2387hammackfarmsbonifayflorida@gmail.com Joe White Road - Bonifay, FL 32425 msbonifayflorida@gmail.com hammackfarmsbonifayflorida@gmail.com NEED MORE IN www.hammackfarms.com FO ? www.hammackfarms.com w.hammackfarms.com 85 0.768.9673 2387 2387 Joe WhiteJoe Road Road White B o n if a y , FL 32425 hammackfarms bonifayflorida@ gmail.com www.hammack farms.c • Bonifay, FL 32425 Street Talk America October 2015 /11 Bonifay’s best kept secret! Mustang Grill with a “Touch” of J Michael’s 90 Son in Law Rd. Bonifay, FL 850-547-3042 • 850-258-3110 Our steaks are marinated and grilled to perfection! Your choice of Ribeye, New York Strip, 22oz. King Ranch or Surf & Turf. $5.00 OFF Ticket must be $30.00 or more. With this ad. Expires 10/31/15 Wear your Halloween COSTUME To Dinner & Receive a FREE DESSERT Our Patrons Asked....We Answered! We are expanding the Mustang Grill! Our goal is to open the new dining area November 5th! Tues-Thur 4p.m.-8p.m. • Fri & Sat 4p.m.-8:45p.m. Closed Sunday & Monday Florida Springs RV Park & Campground We accept full time residents & overnight guests. Daily, weekly, monthly & long time rates! TIPI for RENT! $45 for the Weekend! All you need is your camping gear! Come Play in Bonifay! www.floridaspringsrvpark.com 12/ October 2015 Street Talk America Dear Sherri, I am writing hoping you can settle a dispute for us. Our fourteen year old daughter wants to start dating. I am OK with it but my husband thinks we should wait until she is 16. Any advice? Dating Dispute Dear Dating Dispute, That is a question for the ages! The appropriate age to begin dating seems to vary as the culture shifts. What was once old enough to get married, is now considered too young to date for many. Many health experts agree that a teenager’s brain is still developing into young adulthood. Because of immaturity, many teens make poor judgment calls, resulting in years of regret. Decisions made in this season of life can have lifelong consequences. There is probably not one tried and true magical age for dating. I would consider the following when making a decision: • Is your daughter responsible? • Does she consistently make good choices? • Is she prone to following the crowd? • Are her values firmly instilled? • How well do you know her intended date? • Is he a principled young man? • What activities are they suggesting? • Will there be chaperones? I would encourage you to pray together about this decision. Once you start, it will be harder to take the privilege away. Personally, I believe the older the child is, the better their ability to make right decisions. She has the rest of her life to worry about relationships. The adolescent years are important ones for getting a good education, making life goals and developing character. Whatever decision you make, set solid ground rules and set accountability guidelines. Good luck to you as you navigate the teen years! Sherry Evans is a wife and a mother of three boys. She is an ordained minister with the Assemblies of God and an Associate Pastor at a local church. To read more from Sherri, visit her blog ‘When God Whispers Over Your Life’ @ sherrievans.blogspot.com. The advice offered in Dear Sherri, is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. Use of the column is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional, financial, medical, legal, or other professional advice. If you have specific concerns or a situation in which you require professional, psychological or medical help, you should consult with an appropriately trained and qualified specialist. C O V I N G T O N MU Male or Female A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. “House” for instance, is feminine: “la casa.” “Pencil,” however, is masculine: “el lapiz.” A student asked what gender ‘computer’ was. Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether ‘computer’ should be a masculine or a feminine noun. The men’s group decided that ‘computer’ should definitely be of the feminine gender (“la computadora”) because: 1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic. 2. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and 3. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it. The women’s group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine (“el computador”) because: 1. They have a lot of data but still can’t think for themselves. 2. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time, they ARE the problem; and 3. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model. The women won. BUY • SELL • TRADE • REPAIR • LAYAWAY S 850-557-1918 1288 Jackson Ave • Chipley, FL 32428 I C covingtonmusic@yahoo.com 850-638-5050 Sales & Music Lessons Guitar, Bass, Drums, Piano, Mandolin, Violin, Banjo & Dobro Lessons Piano WANTED: Musical Instruments Tuning of any kind and any condition. Blondes on a Plane Two blondes were flying to New York from Atlanta. Fifteen minutes into the flight, the captain announced, “One of the engines has failed and the flight will be an hour longer. But don’t worry we have three engines left.” Thirty minutes later, the captain announced, “One more engine has failed and the flight will be two hours longer. But don’t worry we have two engines left.” An hour later the captain announced, “One more engine has failed and the flight will be three hours longer. But don’t worry we have one engine left.” One blonde looked at the other blonde and said “If we lose one more engine, we’ll be up here all day.” Dog Dayz Spa 3rd Annual PET-O-WEEN COSTUME PARTY Costume Contest for Pets! Angie Oge, Groomer Over 10 Years Experience Registration begins at 4:30p.m. Judging at 6p.m. November 7th, 2015 Win Prizes! Help the Vernon High School Angel Program by donating non-perishable food items, new, unopened toys, or make monetary donations. You’ll receive a discount on services at Dog Dayz Spa. We are taking donations on the day of event and through-out the months of October, November & December. Grooming & Boarding For Cats & Dogs Call For Appointment • Walk-Ins Accepted With Time Available 850-638-SPA1 (7721) 1430 Brickyard Rd. Chipley, FL 32428 Street Talk America October 2015 /13 How the Fight Started... A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said, “I don’t like the looks of your wife at all,” “Me neither doc,” said the husband. “But she’s a great cook and really good with the kids.” ...and that’s how the fight started. One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift. The next year, I didn’t buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, “Well, you still haven’t used the gift I bought you last year!” ...and that’s how the fight started. When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station. ...and then the fight started. I asked my wife, “Where do you want to go for our anniversary?” It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. “Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” she said. So I suggested, “How about the kitchen?” ...and that’s how the fight started. My wife and I were sitting at a table at her school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swig- ging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table. I asked her, “Do you know him?”“Yes”, she sighed, “He’s my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn’t been sober since.” “My goodness!” I said, “Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?”...and that’s how the fight started. When our lawn mower broke and wouldn’t run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, my racecar... Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, “When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.” ...and that’s how the fight started. My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, “What’s on TV?”I said, “Dust.” ...and that’s how the fight started. The Medical Gallery Home Medical Equipment 217 North Waukesha Street • Bonifay, FL 32425 We SELL, RENT & REPAIR Power Chairs & Scooters. Financing Available! Payments as low as $55 a month! (850) 547-6186 Home of the Ultimate Sleep Chair -Optimum Zero Gravity -Programmable Positioning -Absolute Trendelenburg -Gentle Lift Assist -Ultimate Comfort Financing Available! Payments as low as $55 a month! The Medical Gallery is your one-stop shop for power mobility scooters, wheelchairs and complex rehab chairs. 14/ October 2015 Street Talk America I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. “I’ll have the rump steak, rare, please.” He said, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?” Nah, she can order for herself.” ...and that’s how the fight started. Burke Bro’s Air Conditioning & Appliance Service, Inc. My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, “I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 180 in about 3 seconds. I bought her a bathroom scale. ...and that’s how the fight started. 850-535-4622 My wife was looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, “I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.” I replied, “Your eyesight’s darn near perfect.” ...and that is how the fight started. Southern Ladies Four southern ladies were sitting around talking about how much their husbands loved them. The first one says, “My husband loves me so much that he bought me a diamond ring.” But, of course, she was in such a hurry she forgot her rings, but all the women still said, “Oh, how nice.” The second woman says, “Well, my husband loves me so much he got me a fur coat.” But it was the middle of July and too hot to wear a coat, but still all the ladies said, “Oh, how nice.” So then the third woman says, “Well, my husband loves me so much he bought me a Mercedes-Benz.” And, of course, she was driving the family Buick. They all looked at the fourth woman and said, “Well, honey, how much does your husband love you?” She replied, “He loves me so much that he bought me lessons to a charm school so I could learn to say ‘Oh, how nice’ instead of sarcastically saying ‘Oh, yeah right,’ after everything you ladies say.” Mundy’s Realty Commercial Residential Farms Ranches Dennis R. Mundy Broker/Realtor/Owner Cell:850-326-4403 Office:850-352-2300 3185 Main St. Hwy 231 Cottondale, FL 32431 Dennisrm@embarqmail.com Appliance Repair Sales-Service Installation Family Owned Robert E. Burke *Insured* ST. LIC. #RA0060822 Bad Golf Taking advantage of a beautiful spring day, three pastors swapped their suits and ties for polos and khakis and took time out on the golf course. After several really horrible shots, their caddy asked, “You guys wouldn’t be pastors by any chance?” “Actually, yes, we are,” one replied. “Why?” “Because,” said the caddy, “I’ve never seen such bad golf and such clean language!” You can make many plans, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail. Proverbs 19:21 NLT Welch Family Medicine 850-547-9991 3269 Hwy 90 E • Bonifay, FL Now accepting new patients! Dr. Kyle V. Contini Dr. Rebekah E. Contini Medical Services include but not limited to... Preventive Health Lab Collection Chronic disease Medical Weight Loss Women’s Health Sports Medicine Pediatrics Sports Physicals DOT Physicals Minor Injuries Skin Procedures Acute Care Monday-Thursday 8a.m.-5p.m. • Friday 8a.m.-12p.m. Walk-Ins Welcome www.welchfamilymedicine.com Street Talk America October 2015 /15 Coloring Contest Color and draw a face on the pumpkin! Drawing by local artist, Marvin Jenkins. Contest for ages 3-11 Color picture and share it on the Street Talk America facebook page or mail entry to: STA P.O. Box 170 NAME_____________________________ Vernon, FL 32462. or scan and email to streettalkamerica@live.com AGE________ Each submission will be entered into a drawing PHONE #__________________________ for a family four pack to Hammack Farms. One winner will be drawn at random on October 16th. 16/ October 2015 Street Talk America Find the 7 hidden candy corns & color the picture Find the 10 differences! Street Talk America October 2015 /17 climb up there, I would have told them to be careful. Yesterday, down at the swimming hole, the boys were climbing up a tree and jumping out. Grandma had a fit! “They might get hurt,” she said. I told her, “I bet you five dollars they won’t.” You see, boys must be boys and as long as I’m alive (not the boss) she will not put dresses on them. We get into some heated discussions on this topic. She tells me that I don’t see the danger and she is right, I don’t. Training wheels on a bike almost caused a divorce. LET BOYS BE BOYS! If girls want training wheels it’s alright with me, but Boys don’t wear dresses! not the boys. I cut the tube off and lowered the bike All of you mothers and grandmothers, listen up and seat so both feet could touch the ground. Now if you pay attention! LET THE BOYS BE BOYS! I have begin to fall, just put both feet down and keep the bike four grandsons and four granddaughters and I’m over upright. Sometimes you have a fight on your hands seventy years old, so I know what I’m talking about. when the boys go along with Grandma and want trainWhile watching the world go by, I have noticed that you ladies treat all the kids the same. You need to stop! ing wheels. Men, it’s past time for us to fight or soon we will It’s not fair. I know we are supposed to be fair and treat be wearing dresses along with our boys. Now, all of everyone the same, but what we should be doing is treating all the boys the same and then all the girls the you men that know me know that I’m sorta, kinda hen pecked or have those hen house ways. I have spoiled same. Lilla and try my best to please her. I wash dishes, mop Now that I have made all the ladies mad, let me floors and make the coffee, because I want to and it’s explain. I have watched my wife, Lilla (Grandma) try to put dresses on the boys. What I mean by that is, she the right thing to do. But when it comes to making is babying them. The boys throw a ball and it lands on sissy’s out of the boys, I draw the line. Again, down at the swimming hole at the creek, Lilla top of my workshop, I tell them to get a ladder, climb tells me that the rope swing is for the teenagers. I grab up and retrieve it. Grandma comes screaming that the boys are on top of my shop and I gently reply that their the swing, swing out and swing back and I’m not a ball is up there. “No, no, you can’t let the little ones do teen. The boys follow suit and grandma shakes her head. I know most of you are protective, extra protecthat!” she cries. “Why not?” I ask. She says it’s just tive and over protective, but get over it and let the too dangerous. Now, if the small girls had wanted to boys be boys. Now, let’s talk about clothing for a mintue. Contrary to what you have read, men don’t wear pink, it’s got to be blue, green, brown or camo. White shirts can Oyster Bar & Seafood Restaurant be worn to church and when it’s a must. Little girls 425 St. Johns Rd. • Bonifay, FL 32425 can wear anything, but let’s be careful on dressing the “Cast Your Worries Away!” 547-2112 boys. The other day we attended a party and I overheard Tales by Gator Brown CASTAWAY Flounder Shrimp Jambalaya Scallops Catfish Mullet try our Boat Trash! Lunch Specials Available Hours: Wednesday - Saturday 11am-9pm 18/ October 2015 Street Talk America Mitch’s Collision 850.600.7006 M Quality Collision Repair Automotive Refinishing 1335 Brickyard Rd. Chipley, FL Mitch Gainer, Owner Mitchscollision@att.net my eleven year old telling his ten year old cousin that they were in trouble. In trouble because there were mostly girls at the party and the boys were by far outnumbered. My, how times will change in just a few short years. I hope that I have taught my boys to respect and to treat girls like girls. Girls don’t need to hear boy talk because boys tell about bulls breeding cows and in mixed company, that’s not a subject to be brought up. They say I’m too old fashioned... They might be right, but think about it. Later, Gator Being Polite There are two polite people having dinner together. On the table there is a dish with one big piece of fish and one small piece of fish. They politely say to each other, “You may choose first.” “No, you may choose first.” And this goes on for a while. Then the first person says: “OK, I’ll take first.” And he takes the BIG piece of fish. The second person: “Why did you take the big piece? That’s not polite!” The first person says: “Which piece would you have taken?” The second person replies: “Why, I would have taken the SMALL piece, of course.” The first person says, “Well, that’s what you have now!” Michael Horton Roofing Metal & Shingle Call today for a Free Estimate! 850•638•1309 850•258•7274 The biggest loser at my weight loss club was an elderly woman. “How did you do it?” we asked. “Easy,” she said. “Every night I take my teeth out at six o’clock.” 850-535-0012 Circle 3693 Roche Ave. • Vernon H Lic. #RC29027306 Open Daily 5am-8:30pm OUTDOORS! Rio’s Shotgun Shells $5.00 Off Each Case if you purchase 5 or more cases! Just in time for Dove Season! Hunting & Fishing License CHRISTmas Lay-A-Way Available! Rip-a-lip, Country Life & Heybo Apparel YETI TUMBLERS & COOLERS Deer Feeders • Tree Stands • Targets Safety Harnesses • Hunting Blinds • Trail Cameras Shotgun Shells • Crossbows • Bow Accessories Decoys • Mineral Rocks & Attractants • Scopes Rifle & Shotgun Cleaning Kits Sportsman Utility Vests Hog & Coon Traps • Corn • Deer Calls & Much More! We carry a large selection of camo! ARROWS Street Talk America October 2015 /19 Women’s English Yes = No No = Maybe Maybe = No We need... = I want... I am sorry = you’ll be sorry We need to talk = I need to complain Sure, go ahead = I don’t want you to Do what you want = But you will pay for this later I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron! Are you listening to me? = Too late, you’re dead You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me You’re so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot Do you love me? = I am going to ask for something expensive It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good film on TV How much do you love me?= I did something today that you’re really not going to like Two elderly ladies were discussing the dance at the country club. “We’re supposed to wear something that matches our husband’s hair, I’m wearing black,” said Mrs. Smith. “Oh my,” said Mrs. Jones, “I’d better not go.” After a long day at the museum, I asked my children to describe what they liked best. “Dinosaurs!” one shouted. “Animals!” another cried. My youngest boy said, “My favorite part is when I smelled French Fries in the hallway.” Play on Words HARRIS God Bless America & Our Troops! FARM SUPPLY & HARDWARE 850-535-4128 3302 Creek Rd. Vernon, FL Fall is in the air! We have everything for your Fall Planting & Fall Hunting! Ryegrass Prine Jumbo Big Boss Gulf Time to plant your greens! Austrian Winter Peas Winter Deer Plot Mix Iron Clay Peas Oats Feed Soybeans Feed Wheat Feed Brown Top Ryegrass Good luck to the Vernon Yellow Jackets! We carry Wild Game Innovations Cameras & Accessories Mon., Tues., Wed. & Fri. 7:30am-5:30pm Thurs. & Sat. 7:30am-12pm • Closed Sunday We have a little bit of EVERYTHING! 20/ October 2015 Street Talk America • She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still. • No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery. • A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering. • Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. • The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Circumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. • A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption. • There was the person who sent ten puns to friends with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did. • The midget fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large. Robert Siragusa, MD • General Dermatology & Surgery • Mohs Micrographic Surgery • Cosmetic Dermatology • Aesthetic Services Offices in Chipley, Marianna, Panama City & Panama City Beach Trust Dermatology Associates Skin and Cancer Center for all of your skin care needs! Call Toll-free 1-855-769-SKIN(7546) Street Talk America October 2015 /21 Cranks My Tractor By: BN Heard www.CranksMyTractor.com Where have you gone Fried Green Tomatoes? My bad cholesterol is high, my good cholesterol is low; my prized cast iron skillets seem to cry when I brown “beet burgers” where fried okra and catfish used to dance and play. The closest thing to fried green tomatoes I’ve had lately is watching the movie based on Fannie Flagg’s book. Parts of that movie bother me, parts of it make me happy, and thus, I suppose it is a good movie because it is very similar to our day to day lives. I’ve been to the place where they filmed the movie – the little restaurant in Juliette, Georgia, and it will always be one of my favorite places. The movie feeds my heart, but leaves my stomach yearning for thick sliced bacon, fried eggs and those green tomatoes dancing on the floor of one my cast iron skillets. Haven’t you ever had fried green tomatoes for breakfast? The hair on my arms stands up just thinking about it. In the movie, the character Idgie says something that always makes me smile, she says, “See, now is a time Family Dentistry of Northwest Florida Four Doctors to Serve You! Dr. Ernie Hooper, Dr. Brian Parker, Dr. Hilary Whitaker & Dr. John Wilson Cosmetic, General & Family Dentistry Veneers • Crowns • Dentures Cleanings • Whitening Most Insurance Bonding • Implant Crowns Accepted Two Convenient Locations 110 E. North Ave. Bonifay, FL 32425 (850) 547-9290 22/ October 2015 1410A Brickyard Rd. Chipley, FL 32428 (850) 415-1411 Street Talk America for courage. I guess you already know that there are angels masquerading as people walking around this planet and your mom was the bravest one of those.” My Mama was; I bet yours was also… So dealing with cholesterol and beet burgers calls for courage – not because I don’t like the beet burgers, because I do. It’s simply because I want something I cannot have. It reminds me of Joe Dimaggio, the New York Yankee who insisted on always being announced as “the world’s greatest living ballplayer.” I never saw him play baseball, he retired in 1951, well before I was born, but I know who he was and what he stood for and last words he said before he died. That’s where the fried green tomatoes come in. Dimaggio was known for the dignity and grace he always exuded. He seemed to have this “swagger” === him that honestly only “the world’s greatest about living ballplayer” could have. He dressed the part, he talked the part and he lived the part. 08-14-2015 Simon and Garfunkel, their song “Mrs. RobinHi Kelley…. START USEinAS YOU CAN son” the movie “The Graduate”, … Yamade Doin’famous Great! byT-Bob asked “Where have you gone Joe Dimaggio, A nation turns its lonely eyes to you.” Dimaggio bumped into Paul Simon at a restaurant once and asked him about those lyrics, wanting to know what they meant. Simon told him he simply meant as a country we needed more heroes like him. Dimaggio was satisfied. Buying HEARING AIDS … Don’t Buy A Mistake Call ALPHA Audiology AUDIOLOGICAL Testing Matters Private Discount ● ● 588-5460 Quality of Life ● Hearing Aids TriCare ● Medicare with Signed Referral SMILE: Save, Shop, Eat Live, LOVE PCB! FREE Consultation: We Offer MORE Options Hrs: M-Th 8-5, Fr 8-12 ● God is Great! 203 North Hwy 79 ● 588-5460 Dr. Anne Marie Taylor, Au.D, CCC-A == == On January 14, 1954, Joe Dimaggio, the handsome hero of baseball married the Hollywood glamour girl – Marilyn Monroe. Later that year, Monroe stood over a subway gate in New York City and let the air blow up her skirt whilst folks cheered and took pictures that you have probably seen. It made the world’s greatest living ballplayer mad – very mad. About a month later, still in 1954, Joe Dimaggio and Marilyn Monroe were divorced. She later married playwright Arthur Miller less than a year later, then divorced him four or five years later. Joe never gave up, he was there to check her out of a psychiatric clinic in 1961, and he arranged her funeral when she died of a drug overdose in 1962. Joe Dimaggio would visit Marilyn Monroe’s grave in Los Angeles and send roses to her grave several times a week until his death in 1999. Monroe was married three times in her life, the first at 15 years old. Dimaggio was married twice for a total of less than five years; he played professional baseball for 15 seasons. In 1951, Dimaggio had gotten playing baseball out of his system, noting “When baseball is no longer fun, it’s no longer a game, and so, I’ve played my last game.” He never got Marilyn Monroe out of his system. His lawyer is quoted as saying Joe’s last words before he died of lung cancer in 1999 were, “I’ll finally get to see Marilyn.” Mine will be, “I’ll finally get to eat Shane & Mary Margaret Obert - Owners 1556 Brickyard Road • Chipley, Florida 32428 850-638-2122 www.obertfuneralhome.com Your loved ones deserve the best... Let us assist you in giving them peace of mind by planning ahead. The Obert family and staff is committed to meeting your needs by providing dignified and affordable funeral and cremation services in a comfortable homelike atmosphere. Obert Funeral Home is fully licensed through the State of Florida to handle pre-arranged funerals. We now offer Monuments, Coping & Cemetery Work. fried green tomatoes.” Hopefully it will be at a place like the Whistle Stop Café in Juliette, Georgia. I’m not sure if Joe Dimaggio and Marilyn Monroe will be there or not, I might not notice - I will be paying attention to what’s on my plate. Could I also get a Mason Jar full of sweet tea? Find more stories at www.cranksmytractor.com Cranks My Tractor stories are published in Street Talk America with the writer’s permission and in hopes of making you smile. Old Age Home During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, “How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?” “Well,” he said, “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub.” “Oh, I understand,” I said. “A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup.” “No” he said. “A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?” The Oaks Restaurant Angus Beef Angus Beef Jumbo Shrimp Jumbo Shrimp Delicious Buffet DeliciousSouthern Southern Buffet Full Menu Available Full Menu Available Tuesday Night: Seafood Buffet Eddie & Jo Davis / LaNita Smith Thursday Night: Prime Rib The Oak Station Shopping Center Highway5:00pm-7:30pm 90 E. • Marianna, FL 32446 (850) 526-1114 Eddie & Jo Davis / LaNita Smith The Oak Station Shopping Center Highway 90 East. • Marianna, FL 32446 (850) 526-1114 Street Talk America October 2015 /23 The 850-415-7115 Colonial Restaurant Friday’s Fried Fish Southern Style Buffet Now Open For Dinner! Monday - Friday, 4:30p.m.-Until • Fried & Baked Chicken •Baked Ham •Fried Pork Chops •Country Fried Steak Fresh Vegetables Every Day • Homemade Casseroles •Turnips •Fried Okra •Mustard Greens •Lima Beans •Black Eyed Peas •Mashed Potatoes & Gravy •Corn •Cabbage •Chicken & Rice Open 10:30a.m.-2:30p.m. ~ Closed Sat. 686 5th St. Chipley, FL “I don’t think my mom knows much about children.” “Why do you say that?” “Because she always puts me to bed when I am wide awake and gets me up when I am sleepy.” Heaven A couple were 85 years old and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies. Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife’s insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade. One day, their good health didn’t help when they went on a rare vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven. They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter escorted them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favorite clothes in the closet. They gasped in astonishment when he said, “Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now.” The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. “Why, nothing,” Peter replied, “This is your reward in Heaven.” The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth. “What are the greens fees?,” grumbled the old man. “This is Heaven,” St. Peter replied. “You can play for free, every day.” Next they went to the If you want the job done, call GRIFFIN HEAVY EQUIPMENT Tree Removal • Tree Trimming • Bulldozer Work Farm Tractor Work • Asphalt Patchwork • Ditch Witch Dumptruck Hauling • Landscaping • Sodding Fill Dirt & Sand Clay • Sprigging & Seeding Excavating Work • Pond Digging • Road Building Rock Hauling • Demolition Office, 850-773-2639 • Travis Griffin - Owner, 850-258-9757 4230 Hwy 77 • Chipley, FL 32428 24/ October 2015 Street Talk America clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic deserts, free flowing beverages. “Don’t even ask,” said St. Peter to the man. “This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy.” The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife. “Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods and the decaffeinated tea?” he asked. “That’s the best part,” St. Peter replied. “You can eat and drink as much as you like of whatever you like and you will never get fat or sick. This is Heaven!” The old man pushed, “No gym to work out at?” “Not unless you want to,” was the answer. “No testing my sugar or blood pressure or...” “Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself.” The old man glared at his wife and said, “You and your bran muffins! We could have been here ten years Horrible Four Letter Words A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. “Well, how was the honeymoon?” asked the mother “Oh mamma!” she exclaimed. “The honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic!” But no sooner had she spoken the words than she burst out crying. “But mamma . . . as soon as we returned, John started using the most horrible language. He’s been saying things I’ve never heard before! All these awful 4-letter words! You’ve got to come get me and take me home... please mamma!” “Now Sarah . . .” her mother answered. “Calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words has he been using?” “Please don’t make me tell you, mamma.” wept the daughter. “I’m so embarrassed! They’re just too awful! You’ve got to come get me and take me home... please mamma!” “Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset . Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!” Still sobbing, the bride replied, “Oh, mamma words like, dust, wash, iron and cook!” Dale’s Chimney Sweeps Over 30 years experience 850-547-0410 • 850-258-5300 Complete Chimney & Fireplace Services 3411 Spring Valley Ln Bonifay, FL 32425 What the Grands Will Say Three elderly gentlemen were talking about what their grandchildren would be saying about them fifty years from now. “I would like my grandchildren to say, that he was successful in business,” declared the first man. “Fifty years from now,” said the second, “I want them to say,that he was a loyal family man.” Turning to the third gent, the first gent asked, “So what do you want them to say about you in fifty years?” “Me?” the third man replied. “I want them all to say, he certainly looks good for his age!” FOR ALL YOUR FISHING NEEDS! Serving the Panhandle since 1988 MooreCo Bait & Tackle Sean Collins 2206 Highway 177-A • Bonifay, FL 32425 (3 miles past Bonifay Elementary School) STAR FIRE EXTINGUISHER INC. Owner 850-526-1002 starfireext@yahoo.com 4206 Kelson Ave. Marianna, FL 32446 Open Monday-Saturday - 6a.m.-5p.m. 850-547-9511 Follow us on facebook @ Moore Co of Bonifay, FL Street Talk America October 2015 /25 Eau De Toilette Jack met Manker in the street and noticed that Manker was carrying a small parcel. “Been shopping, Manker?” he asked. “Yes,” replied Manker, “I’ve just been to the perfumery to buy a present for the wife’s birthday tomorrow.” “Oh, yes?” said Jack, “What did you get her, then?” “A bottle of toilet water. Very expensive – this little bottle cost me twenty-five dollars!” “Twenty-five dollars for a bottle of toilet water?” said Jack in amazement. “Why don’t you come home with me? You can have all you want for nothing!” Money Talks The disreputable-looking man picked out an elderly gentleman driving a rolls royce and made a plea for a small financial contribution. When he had finished his narrative of misery and woe the elderly gentleman replied, “My good friend, I have no money, but I can give you some good advice.” The man spat on the ground, and uttered an oath of disgust. “If you ain’t got no money,” he jeered, “I reckon your advice ain’t worth hearin’.” Noah & God After Noah got the blueprint from God and had built the ark, he stood on the deck and asked God when he would send the rain. God answered, “The day after the animals come to board the ark.” Noah begged God to make it three days, not two. God replied, “Why dost thou need an extra day?” “O merciful God, I need the extra day so that I may have time to prepair.”... Do you get it...“prepair” It takes a minute to sink in. DEE’S RESTAURANT Specializing in Steaks & Seafood Daily Lunch Specials Starting at $5.99 535-6449 Take-Out Catering Open Monday - Saturday Breakfast • Lunch • Dinner On the corner of Hwy 79 and 277 3730 Hwy 277 • Vernon 26/ October 2015 Street Talk America Police House Call My partner and I were in our police car when we were dispatched to break up a domestic dispute. We spoke with the couple and the problem was quickly resolved. On leaving, I was admiring the craftsmanship of their turn-of-the-century home and reached for what I thought was the front door. Realizing my mistake, I was turning away in embarrassment when I heard my partner say.... “If you have any more problems, we’ll be in your closet.” If Jesus were to do His same ministry on Earth today, He would be in trouble with: The FDA for turning water into wine without a license. The EPA for killing fig trees. The AMA for practicing medicine without a license. The Dept. of Health for asking people to open graves, for raising the dead and for feeding 5,000 people in the wilderness. The NEA for teaching without a certificate. OSHA for walking on water without a life-jacket and for flying without an airplane. The SPCA for driving hogs into the sea. And the National Board of Psychiatrists for giving advice on how to live a guilt-free life. Brown Pump Repair 850-638-9355 John R. Brown, Owner Chipley, Florida Lost Letter Seeing & Hearing Doctor A young man at college in want of twenty-five dollars wrote to his uncle as follows: “Dear Uncle.--If you could see how I blush for shame while I am writing, you would pity me. Do you know why? Because I have to ask you for a few dollars, and do not know how to express myself. It is impossible for me to tell you. I prefer to die. I send you this by messenger, who will wait for an answer. Believe me, my dearest uncle, your most obedient and affectionate nephew.” “P.S.--Overcome with shame for what I have written, I have been running after the messenger in order to take the letter from him, but I cannot catch him. Heaven grant that something may happen to stop him, or that this letter may get lost.” The uncle was naturally touched, but was equal to the emergency. He replied as follows: “My Dear Jack--Console yourself and blush no more. Providence has heard your prayers. The messenger lost your letter. Your affectionate uncle.” A man walks into the hospital and tells the desk nurse, “I want to see the eye-ear doctor.” “There is no such doctor,” she tells him. “Perhaps you would like to see someone else?” “No, I need to see an eye-ear doctor,” he says. “But there is no such doctor,” she replies. “We have doctors for the eyes and doctors for the ear, nose and throat, but no eye-ear doctor.” No help. He repeats, “I want to see the eye-ear doctor.” They go around like this for a few minutes and then the nurse says, “Sir, there is no eye-ear doctor, but if there were one, why would you want to see him?” “Because,” he replies, “I keep hearing one thing and seeing another.” Fairy Married couples, both 60 years old, were celebrating their 35th anniversary. During their party, a fairy appeared to congratulate them and grant each of them one wish. The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her wand and poof -- the wife had tickets in her hand for a world cruise. Next, the fairy asked the husband what he wanted. He said, “I wish I had a wife 30 years younger than me.” So the fairy picked up her wand and poof -- the husband was 90. BUSH PAINT & SUPPLY 971 6th Ave. Graceville, FL 32440 (850)263-4744 or (850)263-6345 • Carpet • Wood • Vinyl • Laminate • Ceramic • Paint Why Manker’s in the Hospital Manker’s wife, Mabel liked to sing so she decided to join the church choir. From time to time she would practice while she was in the kitchen preparing dinner. Whenever she would start in on a song, Manker would head outside to the porch. Mabel, with hurt feelings, said, “What’s the matter, Manker? Don’t you like my singing?” Manker replied, “Honey, I love your singing, but I just want to make sure the neighbors know I’m not beating you.” Bonifay Seafood Market 850-547-1958 1007 N. Waukesha St. • Bonifay B.S.M. Gumbo • 16oz hot ground sausage • 16oz mild ground sausage • 2 Jalapeño peppers –chopped • 1 onion – chopped Fry above ingredients and drain. Set aside • 1 package Gumbo base from B.S.M. • 1 box Jambalaya mix from B.S.M. • 1 ½ lb. peeled shrimp – cooked • Grouper throats – steamed • 2 cups instant rice Mix the Jambalaya mix instant rice in 2 quart casserole dish. Cover with water to the top of the dish and cover with lid. Leave a small opening for steam to escape and cook for 30 minutes in microwave. Mix remaining ingredients and Jambalaya in large crock pot. Add more water to fill crock pot and cook on low for an hour. • Fish • Bagged Oysters • Scallops • Shrimp • Snow Crab Legs Interior Decorating Specialist Come by today to discuss your home decorating needs! We Steam for Free! Feed ~ Seed ~ Fertilizer Mon. Tues. Wed. & Fri. 7a.m.-5p.m. Thur. 7a.m.-12p.m. • Sat. 8a.m.-12p.m. FRESH SEAFOOD SELECTIONS EBT Accepted Street Talk America October 2015 /27 What can you do about breast cancer? There are risk factors that you can and cannot change. Women aged 55 and older, women with dense breast tissue/fibrocysby: Michael Kennedy, ARNP tic breasts, or previous radiation therapy to chest are at Hawkins Family Medicine higher risk for breast cancer. Hormones, although not fully understood, are thought to play a role in develI can’t believe it is Rodeo time in Bonifay already. oping breast cancer. Studies show that women using Our surrounding communities get together once a year birth control pills have slightly greater risk of breast to celebrate bull ridin’, calf roping, and waving to all cancer than those who have never used them. Horthe beauty queens in the parade. Keep an eye out for mone replacement therapy after menopause (whether all the political candidates too. You will probably see natural or surgical) with combined hormone therapy the sheriff candidates throwing candy from the front appears to apply only to current and recent users with seats of their patrol cars (or riding in the back of one!). a general risk returning to that of the general populaIf you get a chance, come by the rodeo one night to tion within 5 years of stopping combined treatment. see all the action. Saturday night is “Tough Enough Alcohol use of 2 to 5 drinks daily have about a 1 1/2 To Wear Pink” night to bring attention to breast cancer times the risk compared to non-drinkers or occasional as well as all cancers. drinkers. Although the connection between weight and Hawkins Family Medicine is proud to announce our breast cancer risk is complex, there is clearly a higher partnership with Flowers Hospital as we take part in risk for those that are obese and overweight. Evidence festivities on Saturday night. Starting October 1st, we to show that exercise can reduce the risk of breast will be changing our name to Hometown Medicine as cancer is growing. A study from the Women’s Health part of our joining with Flowers Hospital as we conInitiative suggest as little as 1.25 to 2.5 hours per week tinue to provide healthcare to our comcan reduce a lifetime risk by as much as 18%. munity. Come by our tent and shake a Women in their 20’s and 30’s should hand, meet all the staff, or get a selfie have a clinical breast exam at least with Dr. Hawkins (if he will stop every 3 years, and women over 40 riding the stick horse long enough!) should have yearly screening mamOctober is National Breast Canmograms along with their Clinical cer Awareness Month. Chances Breast Exam. Our Women’s Health are, either yourself, a family Nurse Practitioner, Meg Taylor member or close friend has been notes, women should be comfortaffected by breast cancer. Breast able in how to do breast self-exams, cancer is the second most comknowing what to look for and how to mon cancer among American women properly perform this exam. behind skin cancers and is the second leading Gotta go for now, I still have to put a second cause of cancer death in women, exceeded only by coat of oil on my boots and need to shine up my belt lung cancer. buckle. Doc is also busy bedazzling his cowboy hat, apparently that is an “in” thing to do now? Health Talk Come grow with us. Call today to schedule an appointment! (850)547-4440 Patrick Hawkins, MD Michael Kennedy, ARNP Family Medicine 28/ October 2015 Street Talk America Meg Taylor, ARNP Women’s Health Buy Sell Pawn Squaring Up A train traveling through the West was held up by masked bandits. Two friends, who were on their way to California, were among the passengers. “Here’s where we lose all our money,” one said, as a robber entered the car. “You don’t think they’ll take everything, do you?” the other asked nervously. “Certainly,” the first replied. “These fellows never miss anything.” “That will be terrible,” the second friend said. “Are you quite sure they won’t leave us any money?” he persisted. “Of course,” was the reply. “Why do you ask?” The other was silent for a minute. Then, taking a fifty-dollar bill from his pocket, he handed it to his friend. “What is this for?” the first asked, taking the money. “That’s the fifty dollars I owe you,” the other answered. “Now we’re square.” Visit our showroom for excellent prices & beautiful gifts! JEWELRY, SILVER, COINS & ETC. Watch Jewelry Keys Batteries Repair Made Pawn D&S Jewelry&Loan Christ made us right with God; He made us pure and holy, and He freed us from sin. Therefore, as the Scriptures say, “If you want to boast, boast only about the Lord.” Monday - Friday 9 AM - 4:45 PM 850-547-6483 3005-A Main Street Vernon, FL 32462 Located at the Red Light in Vernon. What’s the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One’s a superhero and the other is an instruction. 1 Corinthians 1:30b-31 NLT Orange Hill Express, Inc. 982 Orange Hill Rd. Chipley Like us on It’s not what we do but how we do it! Dixieland Plot Mix Sportsman Mix Buck Shot Plot Mix Bucks Choice Plot Mix Gulf Rye Grass Big Boss Rye Grass Quick Draw Blocks Tecomate Products Deer Scents & Attractants 638-9505 Mon-Sat 5:30a.m. - 11p.m. Closed Sunday non-ethanol gas The CHRISTMAS Muck Boots Countdown Begins! We have something special for everyone on your list! Area’s Largest Purina Dealer 15 Years Strong Street Talk America October 2015 /29 7 steps to living the life of your dreams For more than 20 years, I’ve had the honor of helping millions of families take control of their money and stop drowning in debt. It’s been awesome to see so many people change their lives! Early on, however, I noticed a pattern with the people I was counseling and the callers on my radio show. The thought of getting out of debt was overwhelming to them. The pile of debt in front of them seemed too big, and they didn’t know how to start. That’s why I created the Baby Steps. These seven money markers are designed to get you out of debt and show you how to build the kind of wealth you always dreamed of. But taking control of your money doesn’t happen overnight. The Baby Steps are based on the idea that you can accomplish anything if you take it one step at a time. Baby Step 1: Save $1,000 in a Beginner Emergency Fund Life happens. Transmissions blow and dryers burn out. An emergency fund takes care of these not-so-happy surprises. Don’t be one of the 60 percent of Americans who can’t cover unexpected expenses. Having $1,000 set aside just for emergencies puts a little buffer between you and the “Check Engine” light on your dashboard. By:Dave Ramsey Step 2: Pay off all debt with the Debt Snowball List all your debts except your house from smallest to largest by balance. Make minimum payments on all of them except the smallest one, and attack that one with a vengeance! Put every dollar you can get your hands on toward that smallest debt and get it out of your life for good! Once the first one is out of the way, take that money and add it to the next debt on the list. Keep going all the way down the list, one debt at a time. Every time you pay off one debt, you have more money to throw at the next one. That’s why we call it the Debt Snowball: As the snowball rolls over, it picks up more snow. By the time you get near the bottom of your debt list, it starts to look like an avalanche! You’ll be debt-free faster than you ever thought possible! Step 3: Build a Fully Funded Emergency Fund of 3–6 months of expenses Once you’re out of debt except your house, go back to that little emergency fund and beef it up to a full 3–6 months of expenses. At that point, you have no debts other than the mortgage, and you have $10,000– 15,000 in the bank just for emergencies. Life starts to feel a little different here, doesn’t it? Step 4: Invest 15% of household income into retirement With no debt and a big emergency fund, you’ve finally freed up your greatest wealth-building tool: your income. So now it’s time to focus on your retirement dream. Once you hit Baby Step 4, I want you to start investing 15% of your income into your 401(k) and Roth IRA. Step 5: College funding for children After you’ve gotten your retirement fund going strong, it’s time to think about college for the kiddos. I recommend the Education Savings Account (ESA). Most families can save up to $2,000 a year in an Bonifay Bargains 850-624-0272 409 Depot St. • Bonifay (next to Post Office) A Variety of Vintage, Modern & Whimsical Thursday-Friday 8a.m.-7p.m. Saturday 8a.m.-5p.m. 30/ October 2015 Street Talk America ESA. If you want to do more, you can also check out a 529, but only choose a 529 that leaves you in control of your investments. Step 6: Pay off your house Now it’s time to reach for the golden ring. Keep going! Don’t stop now! How cool would it be if you actually owned your home instead of the bank? Then do it! Put every extra dollar in the budget toward paying off the mortgage early. Step 7: Build wealth and give Baby Step 7 is my absolute favorite because it’s the most fun. With zero debt and a big emergency fund, you can now build wealth, give like crazy to good causes, and leave an incredible legacy for your family. This is the goal! If there’s one thing I’ve learned from working with millions of families, it’s this: Your situation isn’t hopeless. With a lot of hard work and determination, anyone can get out of debt and build wealth. Because when you live like no one else, you can truly live and give like no one else. *Dave Ramsey is America’s trusted voice on money and business. He’s authored five New York Times best-selling books: Financial Peace, More Than Enough, The Total Money Makeover, EntreLeadership and Smart Money Smart Kids. “The Dave Ramsey Show” is heard by more than 8.5 million listeners each week on more than 550 radio stations. Follow Ramsey on Twitter at @DaveRamsey and on the web at daveramsey.com. Vernon Family Health Center 3027 Main Street Vernon Since 2000 850-535-0703 Walk-Ins Welcome Appointments Available Early detection is the best defense against breast cancer! Don’t forget your yearly mammogram! • Illness & Injury We are now a draw station for • Vaccines Quest Laboratories! • Weight Management By appointment only! • DOT, School & Sport Physicals • Well Child Dr. Dawn Frost, DNP, ARNP-BC • Flu Shots & more Army Veteran Give your burdens to the Lord, and He will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall. Psalm 55:22 NLT A Dental Appliance to Treat a Medical Condition Go from this.... to this.... Dr. Minor practices Dental Sleep Medicine, Oral Appliance therapy for Sleep Apnea and Snoring. Oral Appliance Therapy One in Five Americans are affected by Sleep Apnea. Dental Sleep Medicine is a painless alternative to open your airway and improve your symptoms. Sasha J. Minor, D.M.D. is a member of the American Academy of Dental Sleep Medicine. 699 2nd St. • Chipley, FL (850) 638-4708 Street Talk America October 2015 /31 Leave It All Behind Clutter gives me hives. Makes me itch, BUT, my desk is filled with clutter. I will clean it off and put things away and in no time at all, another stack has accumuFirst, let me say “thank you”, to all readers who lated. Why? Mainly, I suppose because I put it aside have encouraged me, sent me a note, or told me in to deal with later. We’ve recently had a stack of papers person that you enjoyed, or were blessed, by what I that we can’t “put away” because it’s a work in progwrote. That’s the purpose. To encourage you, to bless ress. Namely, our mission applications. and honor God, thus, being a blessing in your life. There are many things that must be accomplished So, I am about to open a window and let you peek inside and see what’s been going on in our day-to-day. before we move to the next step on this checkerboard We just finished up a yard sale and as yard sales go, it of mission ministry. And I really wish someone had sat me down and prepared me for some of this because was a good one, the weather was warm, but not unhonestly, some days were filled with tears and anguish bearably so. For almost EVERY single mission trip at the mountain we were climbing. But, here we are, we’ve taken, we generally have a yard sale. A friend on a path that we never-ever dreamed we would travel, asked me recently, “Angie, how in the world do you which is why we are “yard-selling” much of our lives. still have ‘stuff’?” I honestly don’t know. But each year, I part with more of our ‘stuff,’ and feel freer each We are at the point of letting go of almost everything, to become debt free. Which, by the way, is the BEST time! way to live, but we aren’t there yet. Generally, the fall season brings a major purging. Have you thought of what it would look like to live From stem to stern, as my mother has often said, I with less? Jeff’s in Haiti as I write this page, and they would clean out and discard. I do it as well at the have electricity for only 12 hours a day. They have air beginning of spring. I’m not sure if it’s the change conditioning only at night. Beginning at 7:00 pm the in temperatures or just a habit that began when I was electric is turned on, otherwise, they must rely on gengrowing up, my mother has the tidiest house I know, and she doesn’t keep clutter, so I am in a constant state erators, gas stoves and cooking outside. Think about the last bad hurricane that wiped out our area of elecof “de-cluttering.” tricity for days. I can’t remember the storm’s name, but she came in with a vengeance in the early 70’s and we were out of power for nearly a week. We cooked with a cast iron pot in the fireplace, we had our “bathroom” outside (until we were able to get water)… Hard Lime Rock w/base $385 - 100ft. (most cases) 850-319-8833 DRIVEWAYS 32/ October 2015 Street Talk America Grading • Landclearing Eventually, water came from the buckets that we were able to draw with the temporary generator. These precious people’s existence is this way 24/7/365. What would that look like for us? Jeff and I have talked and prayed this through for months. We have no idea exactly where we will be living when we finally set our feet on the soil that God has ordained, we may live near the city or we may be in a little village…we leave that with God. ONLY He knows what we can do. Will it be frightening? I am sure there will be times it will be. Will there be hardships? Likely. But I know without doubt that in each instance of unfamiliar territory, there will be places where He pulls us close, whispers in our ears, “I AM here. Trust Me. Learn in this place.” Our preparations really began before the first form was filled out, it began with a “yes, Lord, we will go.” It began with a decluttering of heart (that is a continual process), and moves into a decluttering of life as we prepare to leave it all behind. God has been showing us what we can “live without.” That is a weird feeling. I am so thankful that many months ago, God started me thinking “less” is truly more. He started changing my focus and ideas. There was nothing wrong with my ideas before-except they wouldn’t actually work with our present assignment. An assignment sounds like a test and it is. Carlee Jordan It has been, but God has been faithfully and patiently walking with me even when we got to items we treasured. When I started trying to explain why I needed certain things, God showed me why I did not. We aren’t dependent on someone else “wanting our stuff” although it first appeared that way to me when I began preparing for this yard sale. God showed me quickly we are completely dependent on Him alone. So dear friends, thank you in advance for praying with us and for us. Prayer is the key that unlocks the door to the path ahead. We welcome opportunities to share our heart with others. Feel free to contact us at Focus Forward Ministries, Inc. Post Office Box 5773, Marianna, FL 32446 –Attn: Jeff and Angie Knight Missionary Journey © Angie Knight www.focusforwardministries.com The doctor broke the bad news to a man, that his wife would have to be admitted to a psychiatric hospital. “I’m afraid her mind’s completely gone,” he said. “Makes sense,” mumbled the man. “She’s been giving me a piece of it every day for the last 15 years.” CHIPLEY HARDWARE & MOBILE HOME SUPPLIES 1163 Jackson Ave. Chipley, FL 32428 (850) 638-1815 Peanut Boiling Pots Hurricane Supplies & Generators Available! Large Selection of NEBO Flashlights Prom & Formal ~ Infant Sessions YETI COOLERS & TUMBLERS Street Talk America October 2015 /33 New Camaro A sixteen year-old boy came home with a brand new Camaro and his parents began to yell and scream, “Where did you get that car?!” He calmly told them, “I bought it today.” “With what money?” demanded his parents. They knew what a new Camaro cost. “Well,” said the boy, “this one cost me just fifteen dollars.” So the parents began to yell even louder. “Who would sell a car like that for fifteen dollars?” they said. “It was the lady up the street,” said the boy. I don’t know her name, they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Camaro for fifteen dollars.” “Oh my goodness!,” moaned the mother, “She must be a child abuser. Who knows what she will do next? John, you go right up there and see what’s going on.” So the boy’s father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard, calmly planting petunias. He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a new Camaro for fifteen dollars and demanded to know why she did it. “Well,” she said, “this morning I got a phone call from my husband. “I thought he was on a business trip, but learned from a friend he had run off to Hawaii with his mistress and Jim’s BUFFET & GRILL 850-526-2366 or 850-482-3003 4329 Lafayette St. Marianna, FL (Hwy 90) Best Meal Value in Town! Monday to Thursday 4-8p.m. Buy 1 dinner buffet and get a second at 1/2 price (with the purchase of drinks) 65 Items on Buffet Daily Including Peach Cobbler & Soft Serve Ice Cream Cones Menu Items Available Ribeye Steak, Hamburger, Shrimp, Catfish & Mullet Platters 10% Senior Discount Kids Eat Free on Tuesday (1 per paying adult) Hours of Operation: Monday - Sunday 10a.m.- 8p.m. Maria Andromidas-Owner Private function rooms accommodating 40 to 100 guests. Available year round. 34/ October 2015 Street Talk America really doesn’t intend to come back. He claimed he was stranded and needed cash, and asked me to sell his new car and send him the money. So I did.” Hearing Problems An elderly lady was concerned about her husband’s hearing. It seemed that every time she would call him, he wouldn’t respond. So, the lady went to the doctor to ask his advice. The doctor said to her, “When you go home, tell your husband to stand at the end of the hallway, and you should stand at the other end. Ask him what he wants for dinner. Continue to move him closer towards you until he responds to your question so you know exactly how far away he is from you when he finally hears you.” She thought this was a great idea. When she got home, she placed her husband at the end of the hallway and yelled, “Herbert, what do you want for dinner?” There was no response. She moved 10 feet closer. Again she yelled, “Herbert, what do you want for dinner?” No response. She moved another 15 feet closer to where she was now practically face to face with her husband. She yelled even louder this time, “HERBERT, what do you want for dinner?” Herbert yelled back at her, “For the THIRD time, I want chicken!” A woman was being accused of attacking her husband with several of his guitars. The judge asked her, “first offender?” She replied, “No, first a Gibson, second a Fender.” The things I love most as cool winds blow, Bonfires, pumpkins & days that pass slow, Chilly Friday nights, cheering for the home team, Snuggling on the couch & the fire crackling with glee, Hayrides & festivals, kids running to & fro, Walking hand in hand at twilights last glow. By: Ashley Rester Happy Fall from Heather N. Wells Accounting! Heather N Wells PA •Income Taxes •Payroll •Sales Tax •Bookkeeping •QuickBooks Pro Advisor Heather Wells, CPA-Owner P.O. Box 160 • 1378 N Railroad Ave. Chipley, FL 32428 (850)638-0408 heathernwellspa@gmail.com What Causes Arthritis? A man, who smelled like a distillery, flopped down on a bus seat next to a priest. The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a halfempty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the disheveled man turned to the priest and said, “Say, Father, what causes arthritis?” “Mister, it’s caused by loose living, being with cheap wicked women, too much alcohol, and a contempt for your fellow man.” “Well, I’ll be,” the drunk muttered, returning to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. “I’m very sorry, I didn’t mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?” “I don’t have it, Father. I was just reading that the Pope does.” Harvest Festival With Arts & Crafts November 7th 10a.m.-2p.m. New Hope United Methodist Church 7 miles south of Vernon on Hwy 79, near Millers Ferry Road Shop the 8 mile Yard Sale on Millers Ferry Road, then come have lunch with us! All proceeds go to the building fund. Bake Sale - Yard Sale - Food Handmade Crafts Free Goody Bags for Kids Tatum’s Hardware & Supply, Inc. 850-482-5513 • 2845 Hwy 71 N, Marianna, FL 32447 Lumber & Building Supplies • Feed Ag Sprayers & Other Farm Equipment Fencing & Posts • Cast Iron Cookers & Much More! If we don’t have it, we will help you find it! Receive 10% OFF Total Purchase (with this ad) The Doctor told me I should start an exercise program. Not wanting to harm this old body, I’ve devised the following: I’ll beat around the bush Jump to conclusions Climb the walls Wade through the morning paper Drag my heels Push my luck Make mountains out of mole hills Hit the nail on the head Bend over backwards Jump on the band wagon Run around in circles Toot my own horn Pull out all the stops Add fuel to the fire Open a can of worms Put my foot in my mouth Start the ball rolling Go over the edge Pick up the pieces Kneel in prayer Bow my head in thanksgiving Uplift my hands in praise Hug someone and encourage them What a Workout! Rest At Last. ROOFING LLC Call Eric 850•703-7639 Fast - Friendly - Reliable Email: wilson8199@gmail.com Street Talk America Lic#RC29027526 October 2015 /35 Perfect Pool Supplies You’ve had the rest, now try the best! • Swimming Pool Supplies • Monthly Cleaning Services • Liners • Pool Salt $6.99 • FREE WATER TESTING 122 S. Waukesha St. • Bonifay Mon-Fri 9am-5pm Sat 8am-12pm George’s Glass Tinting Glass Tinting for your Office, Home & Auto Call us for a quote! 850-547-2626 Portable Sawmill Thin kirf bandmill can saw your trees into lumber. ON YOUR SITE from all types of hard and soft woods. • Cypress • Oak • Pine • Cherry Olen Barfield 638-7105 Vernon High School Class of 1965 To all persons who started with this class: Please join us as we prepare for a weekend of catching up with each others’ lives. On Friday,Oct. 9, we will ride in the Homecoming Parade @ 1PM. Meet @ Rhonda’s house, 3344 Jackson Ave., (by old High school) @ 12 to hop on. That night @ 7, we’ll enjoy reserved seating at the football game. At noon on Sat., Oct. 10, we’ll have a covered dish meal & time of fellowship @ Vernon United Methodist Church next to the Post Office. Contact Judy Enfinger @ 638-7669 or Rhonda Dickinson @ 535-0797 for further information. Please RSVP for Saturday. Would you like to receive Street Talk America every month in the mail? We offer 12 or 6 Month Subscriptions! To start your subscription, fill out this form and mail to STA, P.O. Box 170 Vernon, FL 32462. Make check or money order payable to Crossroads Publishing. $30 for 12 months $15 for 6 months Name Address City/St./Zip 36/ October 2015 Street Talk America 850-482-6542 S. Jefferson St. • Marianna FL Street Talk Announcements Free announcements for Church and Non-Profit Organizations. Announcements must be mailed to STA P.O. Box 170 Vernon, FL 32462 or email to streettalkamerica@live.com. -Would you like to know God? Would you like to be one of God’s children? If so, come join us at Grace Lutheran Church on Sunday 8:15a.m. On Hwy 90 1 1/4 mile east of Bonifay. Let the Lord touch you with His love. -Marianna’s Gathering Place Foundation is holding a monthly meeting for senior singles on the last Friday of every month at 6p.m. at Eastside Baptist Church Hwy 90E. in Marianna. Speakers, entertainment and lots of fun. Call Lilia for more info.850-272-6611 -Free Health Clinic for the uninsured. 203 W. Iowa Ave. Bonifay, FL. Open on the 1st and 3rd Saturdays of each month. For more info call 850-510-3779 -Alford Community Health Clinic 1770 Caroline St. Alford, FL. 2nd & 4th Saturdays starting @ 10a.m. For more info call 850-272-0101 -Graceville Free Medical Clinic 5470 College Suite 2 Graceville, FL. 3rd & 5th Saturdays starting @ 10a.m. For more info call 850-263-6912 or 850-272-0101 -Life Recovery Meetings @ First Baptist Church, Bonifay. The Life Recovery Group provides Christ-centered twelve-step addiction recovery meetings and is certified by the Florida Department of Children and Family as a Faith Based Outpatient Recovery Group. Meetings are free and are offered on Tuesday and Thursday evenings from 5:306:30 at the Annex adjacent to First Baptist Church, Bonifay. For more info, call (850)547-2420 -The Home Extension Club (HEC) would like to invite you to a luncheon and meeting at the Hinson Crossroads Fire Department in Vernon, FL. Come and join us on the third Tuesday of every month at 10a.m.. For more info call 850-Washington County Council on Aging will begin hosting BINGO for senior citizens 60 and over, every Thursday 12:30 - 1:30, starting September 3, 2015. Length of play subject to change depending on participation. For more information please call Kim @ 850-638-6216. October Planting Dates Sponsored by Harris Farm Supply 3302 Creek Rd. • Vernon 850-535-4128 Best Days for Above Ground Planting: 12-15, 19-20, 23-24 Best Days for Root Crop: 1, 4-5, 14-15, 31 Corbin Auto Sales Serving Washington and Surrounding Counties for over 20 Years. Buy Here - Pay Here Huge Inventory! Over 125 Quality Used Cars & Trucks in Stock! Owners: Travis Corbin, Dell Corbin & Troy Corbin (850)638-8462 1177 Jackson Avenue • Chipley www.corbinautos.com Monday-Friday 8a.m.-5p.m. Mr. Curtis’ Classics (Continued from page 5) 1965 Chevy II Nova Super Sport Bobby and Phyllis Flournow of Slocomb, Alabama have been the proud owners of this 1965 Chevy II Nova Super Sport since 1991. It’s a 283 V8 power pack (220 HP) engine with bucket seats and a power glide transmission. The car is painted a rare color of Evening Orchid and is an all factory original with tinted windows, rear antenna and bumper guards. Bobby and Phyllis really enjoy their classic. 1956 Plymouth Plaza The Plymouth Plaza was produced by Plymouth from 1954 through the 1958 model year. It was offered in sedan, coupe and wagon variants. It was known as Plymouth’s “Price Leader,” because it offered buyers the widest choice of options to date. Do you have a classic car or truck that you’d like to share with Mr. Curtis and the Street Talk readers? Send us a picture and any info you’d like included about your car. STA P.O. Box 170 Vernon, FL 32462 or email streettalkamerica@live.com Street Talk America October 2015 /37 Papa Shu’s Movie Review By: Timothy Shumaker Children’s Minister, Gulf Beach Baptist Church War Room Spoiler Alert! If you do not want to know how this movie ends please stop reading. Movie plots will be revealed! Readers of my movie reviews know that I am highly critical of the indiscriminate viewing of movie violence. With a name like “War Room,” one might expect there to be a pervading element of violence in this film. Refreshingly, this film is not about the violence that is spread throughout our culture. Rather, this film is about the conflict between our true enemy and the devastation that the evil one is unleashing upon our families. The elderly widow, Miss Clara, recognizes in the opening narration of the film that few people know how to fight Satan’s schemes in the right way. Instead there is a tendency for us humans to fight one another thus fall into Satan’s snare. She notes that we all have a common enemy, “a thief who comes to steal, kill, and destroy.” If we ever hope to foil these schemes, we need a battle strategy to counter the Devil’s cunningness. Miss Clara asserts that such a strategy can only come from time spent asking for God’s guidance and intervention in an appointed place – our prayer closet. Elizabeth and Tony Jordan is a couple whose marriage is deeply in trouble and whose priorities are turned upside down. Caught in the middle, of course, is their young daughter, Danielle, who longs for her parents’ attention and affection. Both parents are way too consumed with their jobs, making money, and per- Three Chicks Cleaning Residential & Commercial (850)768-0022 (850)956-2408 Carrie Brown, Owner creigncarrie@hotmail.com 1216 Hwy 179 Bonifay, Fl 32425 38/ October 2015 Street Talk America sonal interests to notice their daughter’s achievements and struggles. Meanwhile, their marriage is rapidly deteriorating. This is an all-too-familiar scenario in our times. Miss Clara is a new client of Elizabeth, who is a real estate agent. Their professional relationship quickly becomes a mentoring relationship –just in the nick of time. With Clara’s encouragement, Elizabeth cleans out her own closet and begins to fervently and consistently pray for her husband and for the Lord’s intervention against Satan’s schemes. At the same time, Tony’s flirtations with a client were leading towards an adulterous affair which would have progressed to completion, if Tony did not suddenly fall ill during their rendezvous. Following this near disaster, Elizabeth and Tony begin to mature in their faith and draw closer together as a couple. Through the power of prayer and the strategy of dedicating a time and place for prayer in their house, the Jordan family is redeemed and restored. The Kendrick Brothers once again encourage believers to grow in their faith through this film. They effectively model what it looks like to create space for prayer in the believer’s life, even amid the real struggles which conspire to crowd God out. The spiritual value of discussion and modeling the lessons contained in this film before our children is immeasurable. Yes, even going to the point of finding a physical place for prayer for your family’s personal ‘war room.’ Remember who our real enemy is and that Christ Jesus has already defeated him. This film reminds us of the great value of leaving the battle to the Lord by trusting Him with our lives. Blessings, Papa Shu Holmes Creek Artist & Fleas Community Market 3035 Main Street Vernon, FL. at Holmes Creek Pizza & Pasta Co. Bring your stuff to sell or trade! Spaces for rent! Call Holmes Creek Pizza & Pasta Co. for more info (850) 535-1555 On the VERGE with BIRGE Here’s Yer Sign! Thoughts, puns & fun by robert Birge • Can’t find your children? Try turning off the wifi. They appear suddenly. • If you’re happy and you know it, thank your ex. • Now that North Korea’s leader has executed more than 70 officials, he needs to explain why his barber is still alive. • I need to make my coffee with Red Bull • I’m at my neighbor’s house having the most deli1940, Beltone has offered simply the best cious dinner. Hope I finish before theySince get home! in hearing • Be thankful your GPS doesn’t get PMS: “Fine! Turncare. For the past 75 years, we have always whichever way you want! You never listen to meprided ourselves on one thing: anyway!” • I’m moving to Africa. 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Previous purchases excluded. Participation may vary. Benefi ts of hearing aids vary by type and degree of hearing loss, noise environment, accuracy of hearing evaluation and proper fit. Beltone Hearing Care Centers are independently owned and operated. © 2015 Beltone † 3025 6th STREET 1611$XXX MAIN STREET #4 Among adults over 50. *Discount off MSRP. off single Beltone XX hearing aid. Cannot be combined with other offers, coupons or insurance plans. Previous purchases excluded. Participation ma † Benefi ts of hearing aids vary by type and degree of hearing loss, noise environment, accuracy of hearing evaluation and proper fit. Beltone Hearing Care Centers are independently owned and operated. © 2 † Among adults over 50. *Discount off MSRP. $XXX off single Beltone XX hearing aid. Cannot be combined with other offers, coupons or insurance plans. Previous purchases excluded. 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Beltone Hearing Care Centers are independen FFN fosterfollynews.com FFN FFN fosterfollynews.com fosterfollynews.com Trending News From Washington County Florida and Surrounding Counties • Local News • Arrest Reports • Special Events • Photos • County Calendar • Weather • Obituaries • Florida River Readings • Videos • Chipley Area Gas Prices Trending News From Washington County Trending News From Washington County Florida and Surrounding Counties Florida and Surrounding Counties • Local News • Arrest Reports • Local News • Arrest Reports