May/June 2010 - East High School

TOWER TIMES
Volume 85 Issue 6
East Side High School, Madison Wisconsin
May/June 2010
Senior Edition!
A Farewell to the
Senior Class of
2010
What’s Inside:
As You Like It Review
page 3
Senior Questions
page 6
Senior Wills
page 11
Satire
page 5
Retiring Staff Interviews
page 7
Zoroscopes
page 16
Around East
The Proust Questionnaire
by Terran Tout
What are the qualities you
most admire in a man?
Strength, speed, and a sense of
comfort with his own emotion.
The
Proust
Questionnaire (the “ou” is
pronounced like the “oo” in
foosball) was popularized by
French author Marcel Proust in
the 1800s.
The answers to the
quiz are revealing of someone’s
personality. Each issue, Tower
Times features a prominent
person in the East community,
or someone we think will give
good answers.
For this issue we
interviewed our school mascot,
Peppy the Purgolder! He has
been our mascot since way
back when, and he has never
failed to bring East Pride to our
school and our students.
What are the qualities you
most admire in a woman?
The ability to cheer really loud
and wear awesome cheerleading uniforms!
What is your motto?
To give anything than your
best is to sacrifice the gift.
Also, “EASTSIDE EASTSIDE! -clapclapCLAPCLAPCLAP-”
What is your favorite
occupation?
A professional dancer at our
basketball games, duh!
Who would you have liked
to be?
I’ve always envied that the
Middleton Cardinals can fly...
but I have purple and gold fur.
So, just me!
Who are your favorite characters in history?
Milton McPike, Alan Harris,
Brian Borowski, and 300’s
Leonidas are all pretty high up
on my list. However, the most
memorable figure in history I
can think of is Grady Beluga
Keefe Doyle Olson.
Who are your favorite heroes
in fiction?
James Bond and Jesus Christ.
2
What is your idea of misery?
Sitting in a hot, stinky mascot
outfit for several hours at a
time.
Peppy the Purgolder claps along enthusiastically at
our Homecoming pep aud.
How would you like to die?
Beating a LaFollette Lancer
to death while all of the other
school mascots try and take me
down.
What is the trait you most
despise in others?
Intolerance, hatred, and a lack
of purple and gold coloring.
In what country would you
want to live?
Purgoldia.
What are your favorite
names?
Jim, Phyllis, and Peppy.
Around East
ESP Puts on an Amazing Performance
by Liz Levy
For their final play
of the year, East Side Players
(ESP) performed William
Shakespeare’s As You Like
It—a story of love and the
misperceptions that can hinder
it.
As You Like It follows
the story of a young high-born
woman, Rosalind, who finds
herself exiled by her uncle, a
tyrannical ruler. Along with her
cousin and a faithful courtier,
Rosalind disguises herself as a
peasant man and finds a place
among a community of fellow
exiles.
As Rosalind and
her friends travel, a young
man smitten with Rosalind,
Orlando, flees his cruel brother
and journeys to the very same
community. He unknowingly
reunites with Rosalind, who
remains in her guise of a man
to test if he is sincere in his
professed love.
ESP put on an
amazing show, adapting the
play to a more familiar time
and setting, yet retaining
Shakespeare’s brilliant comedy
and finesse. ESP placed their
version of the play in the 60s,
a decade that contained similar
class and political struggles to
Shakespeare’s original setting.
With this era in mind,
the community of outcasts
was transformed into a hippie
commune, complete with
Analiese Sigelkow dances to one of the songs in the
play. She performed in As You Like It in early May.
tie-dye, music and dance. A
host of talented singers and
musicians performed the
original songs from the script
with 60s style instrumentals
and dancing.
ESP’s adaptation of
As You Like It was entertaining
and unique. As always,
East’s theatre group put on a
magnificent play.
Opinion
East’s New TVs are a Waste of Money
by Airik Reimer
When it comes
to education, many people
think of the use of frivolous
technology, right? If I am
right, then I really have no
faith in American education
anymore. Sadly that is what
the latest act of Madison East
High seems to enforce. If you
can’t tell what I’m talking
about, it’s the new addition to
our halls; those shiny, wallmounted, information-beaming
televisions.
Let’s start off this rant
with how these TV’s could
even remotely resemble a
benefit to education. One thing
all TVs can do is efficiently
relay information by preying
on our sight and hearing. Yet
the people in charge have
seriously messed up these
traits by mounting them in the
halls. First off, you wouldn’t
be able to hear the TV, even if
there was sound, and you can’t
stop to look at the TV unless
you enjoy being trampled by
students. Another thing the TV
can do is provide an interesting
medium to convey reminders
and ideas, but that becomes a
moot point when all you do is
run a PowerPoint presentation
that could be done by a twelve
year-old.
So now that we see
how completely this project
has failed in terms of any
educational matter, I beg to
question why any money
was spent on this ridiculous
undertaking. Many students
agree that the TVs are a waste
of resources, especially when
the same goal can be achieved
with an emailed newsletter,
and to much better effect.
To say the TVs are a good
idea is an outright lie, and
to say it’s a bad idea would
be an understatement. The
school spent grant money on
something so useless in terms
of education. All in all, to see
an opportunity to actually
invest in our education tossed
by the wayside is a testament
to how little the powers that be
understand our schools.
3
Around East
Journals From The Smokey Mountains
by Analiese
Sigelko
Excerpts from Day 1
Since it was raining,
the process of lighting the
stove took place under a tree
in a little forested area. We
received a lot of help from
the other person staying at
our campsite, a solo hiker
up for the weekend, who we
affectionately dub JerBear
because we cannot agree on
whether his name was Jerry or
Jared.
We made mac ‘n’
cheese, with one box of
Pokémon noodles thrown in
for fun. It was great to sit and
talk with JerBear for a while
and hear his stories. He’s
originally from Florida, now
lives in Charleston and goes
camping/hiking a ton in the
Smokies.
That first night I think
I discovered my own strength
and resilience. Even though I
was wet and cold, I was happy.
I kept my spirits up. I sang,
out loud or in my head, almost
continuously. I just made up
my mind to be happy. The girls
did dishes in the stream and
then we settled in for bed. I
read the first chapter of Harry
Potter 3 aloud to Hillary, and
then we turned off the light and
I fell asleep with “Blue Skies”
playing in my head.
Excerpts from Day 2
After breakfast we
packed up camp and moved
4
out, most of us in Keens or
sandals because we did 14
river crossings in a row that
day. They actually got to be
really fun! I felt like such a
pro by the end and being in
the water was great because
it had gotten so hot. At one
point we stopped to look for
salamanders in the river. It was
very enjoyable and I spotted
a well-hidden one, no bigger
than a pen cap, who was the
exact color of the brownish
water and rocks in which he
was hiding. We also saw a
snake along the path. It was
long and black, lying on a log
sunning itself right next to the
path, and Paul walked by it
within a couple inches without
noticing. Hillary then freaked
out.
It was a beautiful hike
even if it was raining. By the
end I was so tired but spurting
up the hill that last 100 yards
or so was exhilarating. At
the top was a shelter (Spence
Field) which was already quite
full because we were getting
in late afternoon-ish. I sat
down and ate for a while. In
those moments, just sitting
and eating were the most
wonderful things in the world.
Excerpts from Day 3
It was a beautiful
morning, if cold—I felt like I
was in Jane Eyre on the moors,
although unfortunately the
fog prevented the spectacular
views we would have seen,
being on a high ridge the
whole time. There were two
large peaks but we couldn’t
stay there for long because
it got so cold if you weren’t
moving.
The walk got really
hard. The uphills were terrible
and a freezing rain was falling.
I don’t think I have ever been
so cold. When we stopped
for lunch I actually thought
I would get hypothermia. I
was shaking uncontrollably
and lost a lot of my manual
dexterity. I knew I had to
just keep walking to warm
up. Finally we got to the
AT shelter at Derrick Knob.
At one point I was sitting on
the bench when a man came
walking up through the mist.
It sounds like such a maudlin
beginning to this story, but I
still feel like there was some
trace of ethereal spirituality,
unrealness, enlightenment—I
can’t describe it—in our
encounter with Cloudwalker.
Paul, Conor and I began
talking with him, asking him
all sorts of questions. He was
so friendly and easy to talk to,
and more than that he had this
very genuine air about him.
He seemed truly
interested in people and was
very steady and wise.
For a while I just sat on the
bench glowing with happiness.
I was warm, dry, well-fed
and surrounded by wonderful
people, which are the only
things we really need. I was so
happy.
Excerpts from Day 4
I loved waking up that
morning to the window right
above me. I lay there for a long
time while the entire rest of
the shelter slept, just looking
out at the misty bare treetops
above. It was so peaceful, how
the air was cold and everything
but my face was warm. There
is something very beautiful
about being awake and quiet
while the world sleeps around
you. I could feel the weight
of the breath of my group
and all the thru hikers in the
shelter. I cannot explain the
bond that forms instantly
with anyone you meet on the
Appalachian Trail. Maybe it
is the shared history of rain,
stream crossings, sunny days,
torturous uphills, wet matches,
stubborn tents, birdcalls, starry
nights that align us without
even needing to speak. Maybe
it is the simplistic honesty that
backpacking draws out in the
people, the way it makes you
shed all excess until you are
light enough to travel with
only what you need.
Excerpts from Day 5
It was all I needed. I
was so connected to the earth.
I was in direct communication.
And I really was joyful
that morning. The world
had humbled me. I was so
overflowing with gratitude for
the gifts I had received despite
the fact that I did not deserve
them. I was in awe.
Satire
East Won’t Shut Up About Hot Weather
Continued from page 7
by Terran Tout
The staff and students
of East High School have been
hit with a sudden catastrophe, a
catastrophe that has caused an
influx of body odor, sickening
perspiration and intolerable
whining. This catastrophe is
the hot weather.
Students at East High
are unable to stop complaining
about the hot, sticky weather
to their teachers (because it is,
of course, their fault that we’re
choking on our own sweat)
who then pass on this grievance to the administration or
fellow teachers.
These whiners seem
to be completely oblivious to
the fact that no one actually
wants to hear it.
This agitating whirlwind of whining does not, opposed to popular belief, make
the temperatures drop. In fact,
reports show that the combination of heat and painfully obvious comments such as, “It’s
hot,” “It’s humid” and “It’s hot
and humid,” actually just make
people more frustrated with
the inevitable situation. Thanks
anyways, Sherlock, for contributing to our heat-induced
rage.
Staff and students are
shocked by the sudden occurrence, as if it doesn’t happen
around this time every year.
Although sitting
in classrooms at East in this
weather is comparable to baking oneself in an oven (an oven
that is actually the sun) there
is, ultimately, nothing anyone
can do about it. Meteorologist
Lob Bindmeier suggests that,
“Everyone seriously just get
over it already.”
“After months of
complaining about the snow
and the cold weather,” says
Betty, a senior at East, “you
would think people would
appreciate the warmth, as it
means that summer is fast approaching.” You would think
so, Betty. You would think so.
If you’re one of these
smelly whiners, I have a few
suggestions that may help:
-Carry around a Celsius thermometer and enjoy weather
that rarely exceeds 35 degrees.
-Bury your head in sand.
-Dump ice in pants every 2030 minutes.
-Become a nudist.
-Do us a favor. Leave Wisconsin. Just...go.
-Wear deodorant or anti-perspirant. Please?
-Remember, heat rises: Fall
into a deep well.
-Put a sock in it.
Have a wonderful,
complaint-filled summer, East!
evolve into the world’s most
insane creature. Consistently
ranked by Guinness World
Records as the “World’s Most
Fearless Animal,” the honey
badger is frequently seen
trying to attack and eat safari
jeeps, simply because they got
too close. In another example
of incredibly awesome
behavior, a honey badger,
documented by National
Geographic in their special
“Snake Killers: Honey Badgers
of the Kalahari,” stole food
directly from a puff adder’s
mouth and ate the snake’s
meal directly in front of it,
while the snake just watched.
Now, bear in mind that a puff
adder’s venom is lethal enough
to kill several human beings
in a single bite. This same bite
will only make a honey badger
angrier.
Why do honey
badgers engage in such
incredimazing behaviors?
Because they can. Also,
another reason is because the
honey badger has no natural
enemy. If bitten by a larger
animal, such as a tiger, the
honey badger is able to move
inside its own skin and bite the
other animal back.
Now, you may be
wondering how the honey
badger gets its name. Simple.
A honey badger will routinely
wander upon beehives, and,
despite tens of thousands of
excruciating stings, it will eat
as much honey as it damn well
pleases and then go back on
its way, terrorizing the African
countryside.
So, East. If you had
to be represented by either a
purple-gold cat-trashcan hybrid
or THE WORLD’S MOST
FEARLESS ANIMAL, which
would you choose? I think the
answer is obvious.
Death Defying Badger...Or Big Dumb Cat?
by Grant
“Doc Zoch”
Alright East, let’s face
it. The Purgolder is washed
up. Worn out. Unemployed.
And in this kind of economy,
the one thing we don’t want
symbolizing us is a deranged
purple cat. That’s why, with
the help of my highly certified
science team and research
fellows, I’ve discovered a new
animal that reflects the spirit
and attitude of East in this day
and age: The African Honey
Badger.
The African Honey
Badger, also known as the
Ratel, was lucky enough to
5
Senior Questions
Seniors, What Are Your
Plans After High School?
I am going to Albania this summer and then I will be
attending MATC for the Liberal Arts transfer program
to later apply to the School of Business at UW-Madison.
-Durim Halimi
I am going to MATC for the
Liberal Arts transfer program to later apply to UWMadison to study Criminal
Justice -Vaughn Porter
I’m planning on having an
amazing summer and going
to Roosevelt University in
Chicago this fall to study
English or Graphic Design.
-Anna Toman
I am going to attend Edgewood College this fall and
hope to major in Video Game Design. -Tony Weber
I am going to St. Cloud State in Minnesota to major in Aviation. -Phil Bessenecker
What is Your Best Memory
Performing with Show Choir in Cabaret for the last time. -AJ Becker
Definitely my time
spent with East Side
Players. -Jacob Fischer
I really enjoyed getting to
know more of the senior
class. There were a lot of
people I had never talked
with before who turned
out to be really awesome.
-Liz Levy
My favorite memory is my soccer season. -Ben Shinners.
From This Year?
6
Around East
Interviews From Retiring Staff Members
The Questions:
1. When did you start working at East? Did you have any
other jobs before working here?
2. What other occupations interested you when you were
deciding on a career? Why did you choose this?
6. What will you miss the least?
7. How do you think you/the school/the students have
changed over the years?
3. Why have you decided to retire?
8. Do you have any projects waiting to be worked on
once you’ve retired?
4. What do you think you’ll be doing on the first day of school
next year?
9. Any travel plans?
5. What will you miss the most about East?
Mrs. McPike
1. I started around ’89 or ’90.
I worked at O’Keeffe and
Sennett as a reading specialist.
And many years before I had
children I worked at UWM in
Milwaukee and I worked at
UW-Whitewater in the library.
2. I never thought about ever
going into teaching. My heart
was set on being an artist and
when I took my art classes I
decided that it was impossible
that I would ever teach what I
loved the most. I really never
planned on teaching but I
wanted to learn more about
how people learned to read and
it became my specialty. So I
just kept reading and reading
until I thought that if I became
a teacher my calling would be
to help teach people who didn’t
understand reading.
3. It’s time. And I need time to
think about the rest of my life
and where I will start a new
chapter. I’m really not retiring,
I’m taking a break.
4. Hopefully I’ll be out on
Lake Wisconsin swimming in
the water, in the middle of the
lake.
5. Everything, every aspect.
6. Like many of us that
are retiring, disrespect,
inappropriate language, lack of
courtesy.
7. In some ways, very
little…because we’ve always
had our success and failures.
We’ve always had kids that
work hard and we’ve always
had kids that didn’t try at all.
And in that way, it’s the same
year after year. Clothing styles
have changed; there’s a lot
less material than there used
to be. But the enthusiasm, the
laughter, the excitement, what
can come out of kids is the
same. There’s more apathy
now though. I think kids are
less willing to bite the bullet
and work hard for their future.
8. Oh yeah. I’ve got a dozen
projects. I need to go through
my clothes and get rid of what
10. Finally, do you have any advice for seniors as they
leave East?
I don’t need. Really taking
inventory of what I have
versus what I need. But most
importantly I just want time
to think about ‘Where do I go
from here?’
9. There are several travel
plans. I have been thinking
hard about where I want to go
and how I want to get there.
Maybe a train ride? The last
thing I want to do is take a
cruise, mostly because I’m
saving that for when I’m old.
I came to the University of
Wisconsin I intended to study
journalism. I wanted to be
a sports writer or reporter. I
really loved sports, I wrote
for my hometown newspaper
as a sports writer beginning
when I was 12 years old. But
along the way there were some
changes in the journalism
department. I did some soul
searching and I decided I really
wanted to work with young
people, and therefore I became
a professional educator.
1. I have worked at East now
for 7 years. Previous to East
I was the principal at Black
Hawk Middle School for ten
years. Previous to that I was
the learning coordinator at
Marquette Middle School
which is now O’Keeffe.
3. I like working with kids. I
don’t think there’s anything,
perhaps with the exception of
being a cancer researcher or
a clergy person, I don’t think
there’s any more admirable
profession because I think
when you work with kids
you really have a feeling of
impacting the future. I think
this might surprise some
people but I think kids are
more appreciative of your
work than adults are.
2. I think originally when
Continued on page 8
10. Don’t forget to smile.
Notice people. And make lots
of friends.
Mr. Krause
7
Around East
Interviews
4. A lot of people say ‘Mr.
Krause, you look too young
to retire’ They’re lying but…I
think one of the things as an
educator that I’ve told kids
all along is follow your heart.
I love what I do but I just
think the world has limitless
opportunities, places with
different things to do. I’d
like to write a book, I’d like
to work with kids in other
capacities; I’d like to try some
things in the adult world. I’m
healthy, I’m young and I’m
able to do it.
5. I will say this, I will miss
that. I’ve been a professional
educator for 30 years and that
was always one of my favorite
days. There was always an
excitement of the first day
of school. And I’ll miss it,
so maybe I’ll just come over
and visit. I know I’ll have
withdrawal symptoms that first
day.
6. The kids and the
relationships. One of the things
that I look as a lifelong gift of
my job is I have had the good
fortune of meeting thousands
of people. Kids, teachers,
parents. I really think that
at whatever level it is, you
connect with everyone and
you have those memories of
those relationships and those
relationships that you develop
over all those years are lifelong
gifts and I wouldn’t trade those
for anything.
8
Continued from page 7
7. I think what I’ll miss the
least…Well, there are two
things. The politics and the
bureaucracy, for one. I have
this saying which is partially
funny, but I say that the two
most plentiful resources on
the planet are hydrogen and
stupidity. I was just reading an
article about how everyone,
even the most intelligent
people do stupid things.
What I’ll miss the least is one
thing this job can do to you is
assimilate other people’s pain.
Your heart goes out to other
people, but sometimes that
hurts you.
8. I don’t think kids change
as much and people think. I
know the media sometimes
demonizes our youth, but I
find kids to be just as good
as they were years ago. I
think kids are exceptionally
resilient, energetic, creative,
and talented. I think what has
changed is not the kids as
much as the environment they
live in; the culture of instant
gratification; fast food video
games, MTV, Facebook, the
Internet. Everything is fast.
The world has sped up to the
point where kids are a product
of that environment. Nowadays
kids are caught up in a world
that is too fast paced.
9. Well I’m going to work
on my condo and I plan on
traveling a lot. One project I
have is to make a bucket list
and to make the bucket list a
reality. I have a theory that I’ve
developed over the years that
life falls under 6 paradigms:
The physical, the intellectual,
the emotional, the social, the
financial, and the spiritual.
It’s important to balance those
six things in life. I’m going
to make 2 or 3 goals in those
areas
Iran, and Micronesia.
2. Well not all that many. I
wanted to travel and get out
of the country and teaching at
that time seemed like a good
option. So I got a teaching
license in my undergraduate
in New York and I managed to
get a job overseas and I went
into the Peace Corps.
10. This summer I’m going to
be teaching in a high school
in China. Then I’m going to
Shang Hai to the Worlds Fair.
Also, I have a sister whose
husband is the ambassador to
Chile, so I’ll be going back to
Santiago, Chile and spending
some time with family. Then I
have another sister who lives
two blocks from the ocean
in Costa Rica. So travel will
be a really big part of my
retirement.
3. At first I really didn’t, the
job kind of chose me because
of the kind of life I wanted
to live. I did want to travel
and I was very fortunate that
things came together. One job
led to another, most of them
overseas, until I came back
to the States in ‘94 with two
little boys who needed some
stability. So taking the job at
East worked out well. Both of
my boys went to school on the
East Side, graduated from East,
and now one is teaching and
one is graduating next May
from college.
11. Really follow your heart
and pursue your passions.
Always make sure you do what
you love. Love takes many
forms, and it’s important to
remember that.
Mr. Brand
1. I started working here in
1995 and I had taught for a
good 20 some years before
that. I taught in many different
countries but I also taught in
New York City and Wisconsin
at Beloit College and some
other places. I had some other
jobs before teaching but I
did teach overseas, mostly in
Japan, Saudi Arabia, Australia,
4. I’m not really retiring;
I’m just taking a year off
from full-time work. I plan
to go back to Asia in August
of 2011 and teach English
Conversation, and I’ll probably
go to Vietnam, Japan, China
or maybe one or two other
Southeast Asian countries.
5. I will probably sleep a little
later; possibly go fishing,
although I will be available to
sub at least one day a week. I
doubt I’ll sub the first day of
Continued on page 9
Around East
More Interviews!
school.
6. I get to meet a lot of my
students as they get older
because I live on the East Side.
I have met students both that
I’ve failed and passed, and
some of them have turned into
wonderful people who have
traveled and done a lot of the
things that I was hoping many
of my students would do.
What I’ll miss the least...Well,
I’ll be honest, there have been
some students that during their
sophomore year are kids that
I’m sure even their parents
are happy to see leave in the
morning. They still care about
them and love them and it’s
hard sometimes to be a parent
to every kid. Most of them
do mature and become very
likeable adults.
7. There are some students
who are very concerned about
what’s going on outside their
own little world. It seems
over the last fifteen years,
because we have much less
direct communication, with
the emphasis on messaging,
cell phones and texting, a lot
of the students have lost the
need to have direct face to
face communication, which is
not always appropriate when
dealing with other people.
While technology can be great
and it has obviously made our
lives easier in some ways, I
think it’s made it more difficult
for people to be involved
personally with other people,
which, in turn, distances
us from the community,
other countries and a direct
connection with the world.
8. I do have a little business
that I’ll probably be starting
up, working with the
international community in
Madison until I do go back
over seas. I’d like to continue
to travel and do what I’ve
always enjoyed.
9. This summer I’m only
traveling in the States and
Canada, which for me is
kind of normal. Nothing
overseas. But both my boys
are traveling; one’s leaving
for Thailand and the other to
Guatemala this Saturday.
10. I hope that all of the
students that have come
through here can see the value
in continuing their education.
To me traveling is the best
form of education. You can
learn a lot from books and you
can learn a lot from professors,
but I think experience is truly
the best teacher. Getting away
from your home, it will make
you more knowledgeable
person about the world and
will help you make better
decisions about your life and
about the people you care
about.
Mr. Scott
1. I started in August 1975,
so counting back that’s about
Continued from page 8
34 years. I had a number of
other jobs before coming to
East; I was a railroad breaker,
a lifeguard, a number of other
things. I came straight to East
out of college and I loved it so
much I stayed.
2. I always liked art. I came
to the University with the
intention of going into politics
or art, art being my first
choice. I realized early on
that the artists that were most
recognized were either dead
or they were starving artists.
Neither of those options
appealed to me so decided I
needed better options. I was
interested in politics; when I
was younger I worked with
the mayor’s council and really
enjoyed that. So I looked into
it, but I realized that I didn’t
care for the “politics” of
politics. So I decided I wanted
to do something else that fit
my personality. I thought about
what I knew how to do and
what I enjoyed doing. After
careful consideration I realized
I enjoyed working with young
people. Ideally, I wanted to run
a community center. Well, that
didn’t happen, but ironically I
ended up being a coordinator
in one of the largest
community centers right in the
middle of Madison. So actually
my dream came true.
3. It was time for me. I love
my job and I’m not retiring
because I’m old or tired or
frustrated, I’m leaving because
I want to explore new
adventures and reach new
chapters of my life. I have
always had a philosophy that
there are two ways you can
leave a job. One is when you
want to leave and they want
you to stay or they want you
to leave and you want to stay.
I chose the first.
4. I’ll be working. I have
no idea where, but I’m a
playwright, a performer on
stage, I have a vocal group
I travel with, I have a lot of
things going on. So I have
no fear that I won’t have
something to do on that first
day. And if those things aren’t
going on, I have a whole
garage full of projects that are
waiting to be worked on.
5. Laughter. I look at how
people carry themselves. I
hear young people laughing,
and that, to me, is energy. No
matter how I feel, maybe I’m
not feeling well or I’m having
a bad day, I feel the energy
when I walk through that
door. I’m going to miss that.
Being in this environment
helps keep me connected with
people.
6. I won’t miss the politics
of education. All too often I
see that students are used as
pawns in this game of chess
for money. It’s unfortunate
because in this business to
Continued on page 10
9
Around East
Even More Interviews!
educate, it should be about
just that. Being an educator
you’re not going to be rich.
But it shouldn’t be about that.
Wealth is not measured by
money, it’s measured by how
many souls, hearts, and minds
are affected. That’s where the
real wealth comes from. One
quote that I love was from
a famous astronaut that was
interviewed and was asked, as
a teacher, why she went into
teaching and she said that “it
was like touching the future.”
If you’re not in this business
to empower students, you
shouldn’t be in it.
7. Well the hairstyles have
changed, clothing styles
have changed, just look in
the yearbook. But I think
that the students haven’t
changed that much. The need
for people to be recognized,
students still need somebody
to be there, no matter what
decade. Students still need that
acknowledgment. In today’s
society that’s what I don’t
care for. Schools have gotten
so large that they want to be
everything to everybody that
they end up being less than
that.
8. I was very fortunate, I had
a play that I wrote that was
performed at the Overture
Center last May, and we have
been invited to do a countywide tour. The play is Buffalo
Soldiers about the African
Continued from page 9
American post-slavery life.
So I’m working on that, I’m
also writing another play right
now and I’m also writing a
children’s book.
experience and apply it to life.
Because before they know it,
they’ll be seniors, as in senior
citizens. So just enjoy their
lives.
9. Absolutely. I have four
children, my oldest daughter
lives down in North Carolina
so I’ll be going there. And my
youngest son is in college now
also in North Carolina. So
we’ll be able to go and travel,
now that I have the chance to
do that.
10. I would advise that seniors
look back on their experiences
and recall when they were
freshmen. I guarantee every
one of the seniors remember
what it was like to be a
freshmen. Take that same
Ms. Torrison is also one of the
retiring staff from this year, but
rather than being interviewed,
she has written a parody about
her future after retirement. She
has been the adviser for Tower
Times for 19 years and has
been teaching here at East for
33. Please see Ms. Torrison’s
article below.
Good luck to all the
retiring staff with whatever
their future holds!
Parody
Retired Staff Member Wins Tony Award!
by Beth Torrison
MADISON-- There was a
party on the near eastside of
Madison Wednesday as longtime resident Beth Torrison
celebrated with family and
friends. Earlier this month, Ms.
Torrison, who taught until two
years ago at East High School,
received the New York Drama
Critics Circle Award and the
Tony Award for writing the
Best Play of 2012.
“This is too good to
be true,” Torrison gushed as
she partied with theatre world
luminaries and former colleagues and students.
10
Torrison taught for 33
years at East High and based
\the play, “Cartography or It’s
So Small, How Do They Drive
On It?” on her experiences
there. The play has achieved
critical and box office success.
“I’m rich and famous,” exclaimed Torrison,
“and I have my students to
thank for it. Champagne for
everyone!”
Torrison recalled
many fond memories from
the 36 years she taught, and
confided that her retirement
also has made many fond
memories, perhaps most
notably, working with Scar-
let Johannson on the feature
film adaptation of her play.
Johannson will play the young
Ms. Torrison as she embarks
upon her career at East.
In addition to Johannson, who caused quite
a stir in her Dior, red-carpet
worthy gown at the Harmony
Bar, also in attendance at the
gala event was a student from
her favorite journalism class,
Ima Newshound, who opined,
“It couldn’t have happened to a
more deserving person. Thanks
to Ms. T., I am currently on
staff at The Onion, and am
hoping to land a Pulitzer Prize
for my hard-boiled, take-no-
prisoners brand of investigative journalism.”
The play will make its
midwest debut in Madison in
the spring of 2013. Until then
Ms. Torrison and her entourage
will be vacationing in Belize,
snorkeling and savoring the
sun.
“Belize may have its
coral reef,” Torrison observed,
“but Madison has East High.
Since my heart belongs to
Peppy, I’ll be back.”
Senior Wills
A
I, AEK, will LW the sparkle
and shimmer of Show Choir
and spot as dance lead because
you deserve it!
I, AEK, will EH my boyfriend
GS and continuing on our
playgirl ways.
I, AEK, will RW a ride home
and some REAL swagger.
I, AEK, will GJS many
awkward lolls, finally an
upperclassman title, and a car
with no windows.
I, AEK, will PG4L many
more reckless days and a
bagnerstatus life.
I, AEK, will TK a wonderful
life with Max.
I, AF, will SJ the strength to
get through her back injury.
I, AF, will The Girls Tennis
Team a great season next year.
I, AF, will the throwers the
strength to get through tabata
when in trouble.
I, AJB, will RM a full ride
scholarship to the FSU and a
goofy @$$ senior year.
I, AJB, will EWT another year
of being a beautiful biracial
butterfly and a great year at
Shabazz!
I, AJB will KB and GO
a lifelong bond through
gastroenteritis.
I, AJB, will Encore another
amazing competition season…
get it right, get it tight.
clothes, or just take me
shopping, and a fantastic
Continued from
senior year.
I, AS, will JP the ability to pay
attention.
I, AS, will East Chicks Yeah
many more wonderful times
together and all the PRs they
can handle!
I, BG, will TW the knowledge
that it was I who wrote on your
car. And of course my forever
friendship.
I, AW, will DW good luck in
high school and lots of love
while I’m away at college!
I, BG, will SJ all the awkward
moments of high school. And
the will to keep your guns in
their holsters while I am away.
I, AS, will JP a fabulous
senior year complete with two
wonderful seasons of ESP, a
piccolo that works, a kick-butt
flute section, no stress over
college applications and many
an excellent visit from ME!
I, AS, will JS no drama in
Show Choir, patience for
dealing with the new ESP
gang, someone to go shopping
with for Cabaret clothes, new
people to drive around and a
better car with which to do so,
stress-free college apps and
frequent reunions for cardplaying. Oh, that’s TACKY.
I, AS will MEH all my love
and the “senior” position in
ESP.
I, AS, will ESP Perkins,
Michaels, cast parties, tech
weeks, read-throughs, build
days and the love of a family
that spans decades. And Shane
Bong.
I, AS, will HRD a cure
for VCWHB/BAHBSW
Syndrome.
I, AS, will LM a wonderful
new school next year,
especially one where she
doesn’t have to dance in choir.
I, AS, will ETW the desire
to give me all her adorable
I, BF, will HR-D thousands of
page plane
7 tickets to Seattle.
I, AW, will AM all of my left
over lunches, water, flinches
and handshakes to get you
through the rest of high school.
I, AW, will Concert Choir
sopranos our “gorgeous” black
dresses. Good luck next year!
I, AW, will MS all of our
pictures we took until 3am and
good luck in college. I love
you and I’ll visit you all the
time!
I, AW, will JW good luck at
UW-EC and lots of coffee to
stay awake late studying.
I, AW, will ENJOY club lots
of luck with senior prom next
year!
I, AW, will IP all of my love
for the past four years and
the best summer ever before
college! I love you! 8/22
I, AY, will HT, AS, and JR
more Bermuda Triangle.
B
I, BF, will LF the best senior
year ever and a permanent
place in my dorm room.
I, BG, will KTP many more
years to come of making snow
forts and leaf forts. And the
ambition to reach our goal
before we reach 21. XOXO
We, BS and EK will KS more
clicking and disapproving
glares.
I, BS will AVH scary movie
nights, car rides filled with
yelling and less sleep so you
are super crazy at mornings.
I, BS, will the girls swim team
good luck next season and
even more good luck dealing
with the lumberjack.
I, BS, will KK, IM, and AVH
trips to come visit me.
I, BS, will CS a place to come
visit when you have had
enough alone time with mom
and dad and your own car.
I, BS, will KK shopping
trips in Chicago, more stupid
comments, tan skin, and the
ability to do breaststroke.
I, BS will IM, aka Ivy
11
Senior Wills
boboobear, prank calls, the
ability to cook a real meal and
more “Where are Burty Botts
jellybeans sold…The ones
from Harry Potter” type of
nights.
I, FRKA, will LW and NB the
best three years at East High
School and may the next three
Cabarets be epic. Love you
guys, and keep it fresh, live life
care-free.
E
I, EMC, will MEH the alto
lead, have fun!
I, FRKA, will CMKA all
of mom’s cheesecakes, first
showers in the morning and
all the attention you’ve always
craved.
I, EMC, will IAJ a hot
Moroccan man.
I, EMC will SLAM more
members than they have space
for.
I, EN, will JM-B to be a
balla…Wait he already is!
F
I, FRKA, will SG all your
HW’s back, a great senior year,
an easy college process, and
many dinners at my house.
I, FRKA, will CO a wonderful
year in Germany, make sure
to say hey to the fine German
boys and rep the Eastside at
Samba! Go backwaits.
I, FRKA, will EW and EK
many afternoons in the
company of Radiohead and
Vampire Weekend. Long live
the Calc Squad.
I, FRKA, will EH “Are
Dubbs” and a great three years
at East. Luh u boo!
I, FRKA, will CMKA all the
clothes I won’t bring with me,
and rep the Brazilian soul at
East. Make me proud, nerdie.
I, FRKA, will AK starry nights
at the park in the company
of our dear Nelson, many
shopping sprees and new
restaurants to discover. Love
you.
I, FRKA, will RO two fine
years as an upperclassman,
many PRs and all my love. I’ll
be waiting, all you have to do
is grow.
G
I, GLZ, will CS an afghan to
keep her warm.
I, FRKA, will KBM Sunday
bike rides around the lake,
sleepovers with chips and
salsa on the side, and many
wonderful feasts.
I, GLZ, will ML a high five
every day of his senior year.
I, FRKA, will AE-K and JS
all the hemp bracelets in the
world. PG 4 Eva!
I, GLZ, will BK all of my
leftover awesomeness.
12
I, GLZ, will CBV a scruffy
scooter.
I, GLZ, will MH an awesome
hello.
pepper and squirrels, as well as
a great future.
I, GLZ, will TG ATOG ATOG
ATOG ATOG.
I, HMD, will TW Slimy Bee
Hives.
I, GLZ, will JM a ball to wear
so he can’t sneak up on people.
I, HMD, will UG wonderful,
butt-touching filled future
seasons.
I GTH, will RO a break-out
XC season…I know you can
do it son!
I, HMD, will BC Spongebob
Squarepants, and tortellini.
I GTH, will J “Jesus” G an
amazing three more years of
XC and track, you can do some
BIG THINGS.
I, GTH, will ETH an exciting
three more years at East! I
can’t wait to see everything
you accomplish lil’ sis!
I, GTH, will East Men’s CC a
trip to STATE. 1974, guys. The
time has come…
I, GTH, will MS and MF a
life-time supply of pumpkins—
there are many more lawns out
there…
I, GTH, will AVH a trip to
the 2016 Olympics. I already
bought my plane ticket. See
you in Rio de Jenero!
I, GW, will JA the underground
“Qdoba Friday.”
H
I, HMD, will AMT the best
years of my life and love,
FFTL, vomiting, laughter,
shows, and bicycles.
I, HMD, will CH moustaches.
I, HMD, will JF Culver’s and
I, HMD, will AN and SN a
great senior year filled with
beautiful art.
I, HMD will LR, ZP, JS, MO,
AC, AB, EO, TK, GW, JB
and EP and more my dignity,
because you’ve all lost yours.
I, HMD, will JY the hurts and
piercings.
I, HM, will MH summers full
of jazz squares and hot dads.
I, HM, will JS a fabulously
“tacky” senior year.
We, HM, HRD, and AS will IS
three more years of dress tape,
hairspray and Encore!
I, HM, will the juniors of ESP
mother-pheasant plucking
skills, epic games of WOTCH,
and so much love. Break many
legs next year, kiddos!
I
I, IDO, will GDO boundless
inches of height and pounds of
muscles.
Continued on the next
page!
Senior Wills
good luck with their lives.
I
I, IDO, will GDO a fun junior
year as the only Olson at East.
I, IDO, will Tower Times a
dignified death.
I, IDO, will GDO more chest
hair than King Kong.
I, IDO, will GDO taargus,
Pritchard, and spagett.
I, IDO, will FCHF some Twix,
some pez, and PEZ!!!
I, IDO, will MEHS and
everyone there good luck.
I, IDO, will JS my mom’s
phone number.
I, IDO, will SSS America’s
Funniest Home Videos.
I, IDO, will JS my mom.
I, IDO, will FCHF that guy I
told you about.
I, IDO, will KL a lovely future
as a mom.
I, IDO, will SM and MH-M
the manliest swim season ever.
Lead them well!
I, IDO, will FCHF something
to talk about…how about love,
LOOOVVVE?!
I, IDO, will MECC more
awesome seasons and fun bus
rides.
I, IDO, will FCHF free shuttle
rides and good plane seats.
I, IDO, will Encore! Show
Choir my cha cha.
I, IDO, will JDB Brozart,
Orbs, hired angles, and
“Danger, Will Robinson!”
I, IDO, will PDV Marilyn
Monroe.
I, IDO, will MP and CC more
experience with Olson intellect
rather than Olson stupidity.
I, IDO, will all of the hallway
rappers and Fourth Street thugs
I, IDO, will SSS Karate in the
garage, prestige worldwide,
and my drum set.
I, IDO, will SSS bunk beds and
space for activities.
I, IP, will ZR a D1 scholarship,
math skills, and one last Eiffel
Tower with BD.
I, IP, will AW my love through
whatever life throws at us,
strength to be whatever you
want, and endless memories
together.
J
I, JBS, will AR good luck at
Virginia Davis, to continue
on with the Monday night
girls, and as many dancevideo-sleepovers you guys can
possibly have.
I, JBS, will NB my baby in
my tummy, and the ability to
finally get it milk. Stay fresh!
I, JBS, will LW and EH the
ability to continue dance team
with a GET IT GURL attitude
as well as holding down EHS
when 2010 leaves.
I, JBS, will JA a million bricks
to throw through other people’s
windows and rides when they
throw them back.
I, JBS, will PG4L endless
bagners, protection from all the
haters, and all my love.
I, JBS, will AEK good luck
(that you don’t need) with
your dancing career, and my
friendship forever. Can’t wait
to see you getting it in NY!
I, JBS, will JB-M endless
convos at your sisters bagners,
and hugs/hellos in the hallways
even though I won’t be here.
I, JBS, will FKA all the rides
she will ever need, Texts from
last night reading sessions,
and my knowledge that she
ALWAYS looks good, so stop
asking!
I, JBS, will AR, LR, KM,
EO, and NH a new “wat the
feezy” to write the rest of your
journey in. Never forget!
I, JFW, will KB luck next year
managing the guys swim team,
amazing breaststroke ability,
and all our memories and
secrets we have shared!
I JGL, will AN all of my
uneaten jelly donuts along with
my army of zombies.
I, JGL, will BIA my superhero
cape for non-practical
purposes.
I, JGL, will BB ten painful
shots and my happy rabid
beaver.
I, JGL, will HJL that internet
I borrowed, plus my soul for
eternity.
K
I, KBM, will NS my career at
Jenny St. Market.
We, KBM and AY will MH,
QJ, IH and AA full control of
the filth tornados.
I, KBM, will MHM all his
house keys back.
I, JBS, will GS someone to
date while AEK is doing it big
in NY.
I, KBM, will Encore a solid
competition show and at least a
2nd place trophy. Ya’ll hot!
I, JBS, will the class of 2011
a great senior year and many
more bagners (Gunnar’s
basement doesn’t count).
I, KBM, will PG4L infinite
conquests, lots of ba-clucking
and all the love I have to give.
I, JBS, will GH the girlfriend
he deserves at corneu, and my
friendship forever.
More Senior Wills on
the next page!
I, JF, will JB the ability to not
go nuts.
13
Senior Wills
K
I, KJP, will MRP, the ability to
get good grades and a trying
attitude. And, of course, luck.
I, KSM, will GP by wardrobe.
I, KSM, will JBS JAMBA
JUICE JAMBA JUICE
JAMBA JUICE.
costumer, and so much love.
L
I, LL, will SM many colored
shirts.
center?” and nights full of one
word sentences.
I, KMH, will LK my driving
skills.
I, KSM, will “The Playgirls”
class, moral integrity, and life
long friendships.
We, LL and KMK will the
librarians good TA’s and good
plays!
I, MRW, will GG my moped to
have fun with.
We, KSM and LR will MO
kindness and forgiveness.
I, LL, will AH and JP fun
fliccolo parts in band next year.
I, KP, will LJM a life and a
boyfriend so you can stop
stealing mine.
I, LL, will the CC Chicks
jumpies, PRs and hills.
N
I, NA, will JE a great time
in college and hope that he
remembers to contact me
occasionally. Take the hill and
keep on spinnin!
We, LL and KMK will Ms. JH
Freshmen who do not require
defenestration.
I, NA, will LA a super senior
year. Don’t let EG and BC get
you down.
I, LL, will next year’s Calc
BC class the ability to do that
homework.
I, NRE, will East Side High the
knowledge I hold.
I, KMH, will MD my
basketball skills.
I, KMH, will PS all my math
knowledge.
We, KM^2, will the girls
soccer team a winning season
with Coach Harris (and
Bobby).
We, KM^2, will KR to walk
more like a man, KB to fall
more like a penguin, and JR a
shinier halo.
We, KM^2, will the soccer
girls “Our greatest glory is not
in never falling, but in rising
every time we fall.”
I, KSM, will SJM pier
carvings, slapping peaces,
Yahara swing set rides, and
otter watching.
I, KSM, will PLO an amazing
four years in Minnesota
together.
I, KSM, will DM my fantastic
advice anytime.
I, KSM, will MO a BPP and
BF forever. And a spot on my
futon any night.
I, KSM, will MOW and KR to
reunite their friendship.
14
I, KP, will RRP to get laid
before the age of 40 years old.
I, KP, will ARJ a brain to make
better choices.
I, KP, will BRG the self control
to not go after every guy you
find attractive.
I, KP, will PF the power to
never settle for less than you
deserve and the strength to get
up every time someone knocks
you down.
I, KP, will SAG the courage
to keep being yourself and the
strength to control your mad
road rage.
I, KP, will MMS the courage
to always follow your heart
and to never lose sight of your
dreams.
I, KP, will RAJ the ambition to
do something with your life.
I, KRD, will ESP the ability to
always costume actors at the
last minute, being nice to your
M
I, MLO will PLO seductive
poses, hand sanitizer, late night
texts, and a sunk in bed.
I, MLO will DDM cradle
robbing, carrots, more parties
and dream buddies for life.
I, MLO, will GP and NS
“That’s just not cool guys!”
and a good 2011 soccer season
I, MLO, will LJR integrals,
guacamole, and wakin’ up
in the morning feelin’ like P.
Diddy.
I, MLO, will KSM tanning
lotion, more clothes, limits,
swimming pools, and BPP’s
and BF’s for life!
I, MLO, will SJM a puke
bucket, a window seat, “is this
I, MM, will NH Sally’s Store.
I, NRP, will RMB ski slopes,
happiness, two more years,
good luck you don’t need and
infinite thanks.
O
I, OH, will GDO three inches
and some height.
I, OH, will MB many great
study halls with very little calc
homework being done.
I, OH, will RB an XXL cup.
I, OH, will CO a real
enthusiastic hug.
I, OH, will MH-M two more
bra sizes for his pecs.
Even more Senior
Wills ahead!
Senior Wills
O
We, OH, AY, and GZ will MH
and DP to continue the legacy.
P
I, PLO, will MLO mas pan and
lots of Easter egg hunts.
I, PLO, will SJM A LADOOO,
helado, and many captivating
conversations with herself.
I, PLO, will DAA John Mayer,
Jason Mraz and an extra tight
chastity belt.
I, PLO, will DDM dryer sheets
to keep his pants smelling
fresh.
I, PLO, will PG4L live, laugh
love, leah lipstick 09 forever…
stay classy, ya digg?
S
I, SAMA, will East High hope
that my spirit will carry on.
T
I, TD, will AD and ND the
ability to always be cool no
matter how other people define
it.
I, TD, will AD and ND the
additional ability to kick some
serious booty.
I, TI, will BUV peanut butter
cups.
I, TV, will TMLdT Judith!!
Imma buy you a drank.
I, TV, will TL gurl, get IT next
year. GET IT.
I, TT, will MH many more
unnecessary doodles.
I, TW, will KL to smarten up.
I, TT, will NN all the happiness
in the world.
I, TW, will BM to invent our
future with his thumb and ear.
I, TT, will JS the freedom to
monkey around whenever you
feel it necessary.
I, TW, will HD to draw…in
HD.
I, TT, will IH, AD, and AA the
ability to remain some of the
coolest kids at East, as well as
some Ultimate skills…c’mon.
I, TT, will KO fun on Tuesday
mornings as well as an
awesome summer days with
GH, AP and myself.
I, TT, will JB broken reeds,
more embarrassingly loud
squeaks, and the failure to find
a cooler stand partner than me.
Try not to take alllll the solos
next year.
I, TT, will MH someone else
to constantly call horrible
names and the ability to slam
SN anytime with your crude
humor we all love so much.
I, TT, will IU and IH someone
else to torment during
Advanced Film.
I, TW, will KH to take the
midnight train going anywhere.
I, TW, will BG to eat her grub
in the tub.
I, TW, will PM to groove to a
chip factory.
I, TW, will AH to do a five
minute handshake in a shrub.
I, TW, will GH to run as fast as
he can.
I, TW, will CH to make sure
he finishes the action before
awkwardly moving.
Z
I, ZDD, will JLK Ducky.
I, ZP, will CH limitless bowls
and many magical moments on
Rutledge Street.
I, ZP, will PG4L a cracking
future and bowl-filled Skype
chats.
I, TW, will AY to rock her
heart out.
I, TW, will EJ to live
GRANTED he can.
I, TW, will JE to make a movie
starring me.
I, TW, will ED to settle her boy
situation.
I, TW, will RB to have a turtle.
I, TW, will TT to be the next
Onion.
I, TT, will LG the ability to
remain so opinionated and
strong-headed, but to also to
try and be tactful. Think before
you speak.
I, TW, will JC to get a nuke…
and use it wisely.
I, TW, will GH to shoot for the
stars in baby voices.
I, TW, will JH to never call 911
as a joke on accident.
I, TW, will GZ to be my wing
man 4 EVA.
I, TW, will MT to eat as many
wings as she can.
I, TW, will TS to be my
counterpart in every way.
15
Zoroscopes!
by Ian Olson
Aries: I hope all of the thugs
and hall rats come back with a
better attitude next year, Aries.
If not, good luck!
Taurus: Have an awesome
summer, Taurus...but play safe!
You don’t want anyone winding up in jail!
Gemini: I hear there are
dangerous blue-green algae
blooms in some Madison lakes
this time of year. You should
go for a swim!
Cancer: Don’t get too much
sun over the summer. Nobody
wants a brown, leathery sack
of Cancer for a friend!
Leo: Will you be the next
Horoscopes writer for the
Tower Times, Leo? Or are you
still at a third grade reading
level? Hmm...
Sagittarius: Make sure to
keep your mind somewhat
active this summer. Your
brain only has a few cells
left!
Virgo: I’m gonna do my best
to remember you when I’m
gone at college, Virgo. Or
maybe I’ll do my best to forget
you....
Capricorn: I’m going to
miss writing about you, Capricorn. You always darkened
my day!
Libra: You wanna know the
only thing worse than a weird
looking Libra? A weird looking
Libra in short-shorts! So cover
that up!
Scorpio: Are you going camping this summer, Scorpio? I
hear you should keep bacon,
sausages, and steaks in your
tent with you. You might see a
bear that way!
Tower Times
Editor-in-Chief
Terran Tout
Contributers
Ian Olson
Terran Tout
Analiese Sigelko
Jacob Fischer
Liz Levy
Grant Zoch
Airik Reimer
Aquarius: I leave you,
Aquarius, with a wise word
from JW...If you’re gonna be
a bear, be a grizzly.
Photos
Terran Tout
Oceanna Tout
Pisces: This summer is
gonna be a scorcher, Pisces...
so go burn!
Advisers
Beth Torrison
Greg Rittman
towertimes@gmail.com
From All of Us at Tower Times...
Have an Amazing Summer!
We’ll See You Next Year!
16