The End of Cindies and Life as we know it?

Cambridge:
birthplace of
binge-drinking?
p.5
The
The TCS guide
to Hallowe'en
fashion
p.19
CambridgeStudent
Thursday, 27th October 2011
Michaelmas Issue Five
The End of Cindies and Life
as we know it?
■ Club empire at risk of collapse
■ Life and Cindies could face closure as owner
falls into administration
■ Students in shock
Judith Welikala & Zoah HedgesStocks
Student nightspots Cindies (Ballare)
and Life (The Place) could be set
to close, as their owner, Luminar,
has gone into administration. The
company has released the following
statement:
“The directors of Luminar have
no option but to take steps to place
the Company and certain of its
subsidiaries into administration
and to request the UKLA to suspend
trading in Luminar's shares with
immediate effect.”
Luminar's
payments
to
Lloyds, Barclays and Royal
Bank of Scotland are due on 27
October, and their shares have been
suspended.
Students have reacted to the news
with a mixture of shock and brutal
honesty. Ali Moore, a third year
Medic at Newnham said “It’s part
of our Cambridge experience. It’s
rubbish but we love it because it’s
part of our week."
“I don’t know what I’d do, it would
be awful. Last night my bank card
wasn’t working, and I called my
bank from inside Cindies because
I didn’t want to leave,” said Harriet
Fitch Little, a third year Newnham
PPS student.
Cindies: "It's rubbish
but we love it"
“Where will I drink VKs and have
a night of sweaty cheese?”, lamented
Pei-Wen Yen a third year Sociology
student at Murray Edwards, “I’m
genuinely distressed. Why?”
Luminar is the biggest nightclub
owner in the UK and operates 74
venues as well as the two Cambridge
clubs. They employ over 3,000 fulltime and part-time staff across their
clubs.
Luminar’s
domination
of
the England club scene could
have serious repercussions for
students. With their clubs in
every major city in the country,
university towns may be left
bereft
of
nightlife
should
administrators be forced to cut the
number of venues to rescue the
firm’s parlous financial state.
The news is the latest in a series
of blows to Luminar and the
Cambridge club scene in general.
On page 2, TCS reports on the legal
fallout from a drunken Cindies
prank in May.
"Where will I drink
VKs and have a night
of sweaty cheese?"
Last week, TCS reported the death
of Nabila Nanfuka, a student at the
University of Northampton who
was crushed to death at a Luminar
Lava & Ignite club.
Staff from Life were ejected from
the Societies Fair at the start of term
after accusations of intimidating
behavior.
Luminar's policy of having a Fuzzy
Logic night at all of their clubs has
confused clubbers.
Fez, owned by rival operators
Eclectic, is expected to close next
year and be redeveloped into flats.
Earlier in term, TCS reported
that a crime occurs in the city’s
clubs almost once every 24
hours. On page 4, we explore the
increase of pickpocketing in our
clubs. Police state that the high
crime rate is down to organised
gangs of pickpockets who travel
down from Luton to prey on
Cambridge clubgoers.
Hopefully Luminar's creditors
will be paid off and the company
will continue trading with its
Cambridge arm intact. However, if
the company is forced to sell off its
clubs, Luminar may struggle to find
a buyer due to the current economic
climate - which could mean the end
of Life as we know it.
The
CambridgeStudent
Thursday, October 27th, 2011
02| Editorial
THE CAMBRIDGE STUDENT
THIS WEEK
THE TEAM
Editors in Chief: Michael Yoganayagam & Zoah Hedges-Stocks - editor@tcs.cam.ac.uk; Design Editor: Linda Wang - design@tcs.cam.ac.uk; Magazine Editor: Abi See - magazine@tcs.cam.ac.uk;
Photography Editor: Devon Buchanan - photography@tcs.cam.ac.uk; News Editor: Judith Welikala - news@tcs.cam.ac.uk; Deputy News Editors: Tessa Evans, Alice Gormley & Emily Loud - deputynews@
tcs.cam.ac.uk; International Editor: Ben Richardson - international@tcs.cam.ac.uk; Interviews Editor: Nicholas Tufnell - interviews@tcs.cam.ac.uk; Comment Editor: Eleanor Dickinson - comment@tcs.
cam.ac.uk; Satire Editor: Matt Lim - satire@tcs.cam.ac.uk; Features Editors: Lianna Francis, Alice Gormley & Nicholas Tufnell - features@tcs.cam.ac.uk; Music Editors: David Moulder & Zoe Holder
- music@tcs.cam.ac.uk; Film & TV Editors: Jess Stewart & Florence Smith Nicholls - film@tcs.cam.ac.uk; Theatre Editor: Laura Peatman - theatre@tcs.cam.ac.uk; Sports Editor: Olivia Lee - sports@tcs.
cam.ac.uk; Deputy Sports Editor: Ollie Guest - sports@tcs.cam.ac.uk; Illustrator: Clémentine Beauvais; Sub-Editors: Adam Clark, Connie Fisher, Ken Meyer, Laurence Tidy, Morwenna Jones, Rebecca
Phillips & Jeremy Evans; Web Editor: Mark Curtis; Board of Directors: Mark Curtis (Business), Dan Green, Harriet Flower, Zoah Hedges-Stocks, Michael Yoganayagam directors@tcs.cam.ac.uk.
INTERNATIONAL
EDITORIAL
As British universities face perhaps
the most radical upheaval in their
history, it is depressing that some
Parliamentarians continue to fret
about the “unfair and unmeritocratic”
nature of the Oxbridge honorary
MA. After a failed attempt last
year, Chris Leslie, a backbench
Labour MP for Nottingham East,
has brought forward a revitalised
private members’ bill which, if
implemented,
would
prohibit
universities, including ours, from
awarding the degrees.
For those who are unaware, six
years after graduation, holders
of a BA from Oxford, Cambridge
or Trinity College, Dublin, can
opt to upgrade their degree to an
MA. Rather than being indicative
of academic merit, the MA is an
anachronistic marking of seniority
in the University dating back to the
Middle Ages. The University of
London, in the mid-19th century,
broke away from the ancient model
by considering the MA to be
a higher qualification distinct from
the initial degree. We have been left
as the anomaly.
The primary argument against the
MA is that it confers on Oxbridge
graduates an unfair advantage in
the job market. Since two thirds of
businesses do not understand how
it is awarded, surely the qualification
undermines graduates from other
universities who have had to
pursue another year of study in
order to be seen as academically
equivalent?
This is nonsense. The majority
of businesses employ few Oxbridge
graduates, if any at all, and so
the existence of the MA is of
little relevance to them. If the study
were retaken with employers that
traditionally seek Oxbridge graduates,
it is unlikely the figures would be so
persuasive.
Even if the bill passes, it will
hardly eradicate honorary degrees.
Universities in Scotland award an
MA for completing an undergraduate
course in the arts or social sciences
- a system over which the House of
Commons has no jurisdiction. It
also seems likely that rather than
being a priority for his constituents,
Leslie’s bill is motivated by personal
chagrin (Leslie completed a
conventional MA at the University
of Leeds in industrial and labour
studies).
Universities must retain autonomy
over both the teaching they offer
and the qualifications they award.
Outlawing honorary MAs is little
more than egalitarian posturing.
Leslie should find something better
to do with his time, and leave the
Oxbridge MA alone.
Who will mourn
Gaddafi? Sophie
Partarrieu considers the
legacy of a dictator
p.8
INTERVIEWS
UCAS considers new A-Level system
Connie Fisher
Consultation on the viability of
the Post-Qualification Application
system (PQA) will begin at the end
of this month. The idea, proposed in
September by UCAS chief executive
Mary Curnock Cook, would see
students applying for university
after receiving their final A-Level
results.
The consultation of PQA comes as
an attempt to reduce the bureaucracy
of the admissions process and the
“unfairness” of the current university
application system which relies
on predicted grades. If it was
approved, students would sit their
A-Level examinations between four
and six weeks earlier and receive their
results in July. This would leave less
than three months for the university
application process which currently
takes almost a year.
The plans have received support
from David Willetts, the Universities
Minister, but concerns have been
expressed regarding the proposed
timescale. President of the University
and College Union Terry Hoad called
for consideration for teachers and
students who will have less time to
complete exam syllabi, saying “We
cannot expect our colleagues in
schools to curtail the time they have
with their students to bring them up
to a high level.”
Wendy Piatt, director general of
the Russell Group, said the new idea
wouldn’t help solve the problem of
access to the country’s top universities:
“PQA would do nothing to address
the fundamental issue of inequality
of attainment at school, which largely
determines access to highly selective
universities.”
PQA would end the earlyapplication system for Oxbridge,
medicine and dentistry applicants,
who currently have to make
their university choices three months
before other students. Cambridge
University would also have to
conduct both main and pool
interviews over a much shorter
period of time.
CUSU Access Officer Taz
Razul said the new scheme may
encourage students who know they
have achieved highly enough to
apply to Cambridge, but also raised
concerns that students could be
“disadvantaged by the brevity with
which their application may have
to be treated using a PQA system.” Dr
Geoff Parks, Director of Admissions
for the Cambridge colleges said
“all models presented to date
would reduce student choice and
force rushed decisions, which
militates
against
widening
participation.”
English student Anna Page also
expressed
concerns
regarding
the short application period
and praised the current system:
“Receiving the offer of a place in
January as opposed to the summer
meant that I always had guaranteed
motivation for exams.”
The
UCAS
consultation
will continue until the end of
January and its findings will be
published in March 2012.
NEWS BULLETIN News in Brief
Student fined for Cindies prank
A student at St. John’s has been
fined £3,800 after a drunken prank
at Cindies left a fellow student
with a broken pelvis. Ben Shaw,
a second-year CompSci, grabbed
Emily Farbrace and ran across the
dance floor with her, tripping and
causing injuries that resulted in
her missing her second year NatSci
exams. Cambridge Magistrates
Court found Shaw guilty of
common assault, ordering him
to perform 80 hours community
service and to compensate Ms
Farbrace directly due to the “huge
disadvantage” that missing her
exams might have on her future
career prospects.
NEWSPAPERS
SUPPORT
RECYCLING
Recycled paper made up
80.6% of the raw material for
UK newspapers in 2006
Cambridge research links lack
of outdoor play with myopia in
children
Studies involving over 10,000
children and adolescents have
shown that each additional hour
spent outside per week reduces
children’s risk of short-sightedness
by 2%. The findings, which will be
presentedattheAmericanAcademyof
Ophthalmology annual meeting
in Florida, state that exposure to
natural light and time spent looking at distant objects could be key
factors in maintaining normal or
long-sighted vision.
£4m gift for Cambridge University
to fix financial crisis
Former UEA student union president pleads guilty to arson
An anonymous philanthropic gift
of £4 million has been given to the
University to fund research into the
world’s economic problems. The
Keynes Fund for Applied Economics, named after the highly influential Cambridge economist, will give
grants to research projects regarding
capital market mispricing and the
effect of bankers’ bonuses. Based in
the Faculty of Economics, the research will also include psychology,
history, anthropology and biology in
an attempt to find a solution to the
economic downturn.
Steven Altman, 27, admitted one
count of arson at a flat in College
Road, Norwich at the city’s Crown
Court Tuesday. The ex-student union
president is in his second stint as a
city councillor and has volunteered
with several charitable organisations.
If he is found guilty Altman will be
sentenced to three months and disqualified from his post as councillor.
He is also charged with committing
arson recklessly, a charge which will
be put to the defendant at a later
date.
The Cambridge Student is published by Cambridge University Students’ Union. All copyright is the exclusive property of the Cambridge University Students’ Union. Although The Cambridge Student is affiliated to the University Students’ Union we are editorially independent and financially selfsufficient. No part of this publication is to be reproduced, stored on a retrieval system or submitted in any form or by any means without prior permission of the publisher.
Nick Baylis talks to
Nicholas Tufnell about
happiness
p.10
THEATRE
John Swarbrooke gets his
teeth into the ADC’s
Antigone
p.24
SPORT
Ollie Guest contemplates the
impact of drivers’ deaths on
motorsport
p.29
The
Thursday, October 27th, 2011
CambridgeStudent
News |03
Bex.Walton
Oxbridge MA “deeply unfair” Cambridge bucks
application trend
Anthie Karavaggelis
Tessa Evans & Emily Loud
Cambridge University has seen a 2%
rise in applications this year, with
numbers of state school applicants on
the rise, the University Press Office has
revealed.
The increase is encouraging amid
fears that 2012’s increase in tuition
fees would deter students from poorer
backgrounds from applying to Oxford
or Cambridge.
These figures are a dramatic contrast with a nationwide trend that has
seen applications plummet by 12%.
UCAS has revealed that 52,321 applicants have applied from within the UK
so far, compared with 59,413 this time
last year.
The statistics further reveal that
10.5% fewer women have applied this
year, compared with just 7% fewer
men.
Some students have suggested that
the generous Cambridge bursary
scheme means financial concerns are
unlikely to deter potential applicants,
with students from lower income
backgrounds being offered a means
tested bursary on a sliding scale. Ella
Walters, an Access ambassador for
Girton, told The Cambridge Student,
“Cambridge is doing everything it
can to make themselves accessible. If
someone comes to Cambridge they
will get one of the best financial support systems in the country and that’s
probably the reason for the statistic.”
However, others have suggested that
the bursaries are irrelevant, as students
who are dedicated enough to apply to
elite universities would not be put off
by the increase in fees.
Eleanor Penfold, a third year English student at Murray Edwards, told
TCS, “The fall in applications may
come from those students who were
unsure of their suitability for university to begin with.”
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horaceko
The right for Oxbridge BA graduates
to upgrade to a MA title six or seven
years after starting their degree has
come under attack. Chris Leslie, MP
for Nottingham East, has proposed
in a new Masters Degree (minimum
standards) Bill in the House of
Commons that the long-standing
tradition be dropped.
Mr Leslie, who graduated from
Leeds University with a BA in Politics
and Parliamentary Studies in 1994,
before gaining an MA in Industrial
and Labour Studies two years later,
claims that the upgrade is “deeply
unfair and unmeritocratic” and
undermines the work of ordinary
postgraduate students, who have to
work for an additional year and sit
extra exams to gain their Masters.
He argues that it gives Oxbridge
graduates an unearned advantage
in the job market, since research by
the Quality Assurance Agency, the
higher education watchdog, in 2000,
showed that 62% of businesses were
unaware that the Oxbridge MA did
not involve additional study.
However, the passing of this
bill would be another example of
the government interfering with
the institutional autonomy of
universities, something which the
universities minister, David Willets,
warned against.
He said: “In order for us to act, as
well as having to be persuaded of
this problem of confusion, we would
also have to be taking a significant
step further towards intervening in
the internal arrangements of these
universities.”
The Oxbridge MA dates from the
17th century and is traditionally
a marking of seniority within the
University, signifying academic
rank and not academic merit. It is a
system also used by the University
of Dublin. The MA status confers
certain privileges, for example at
Cambridge, it gives the right to
walk on college lawns, to use the
University library and to take part in
Discussions (part of the University’s
decision-making process). Some
colleges also allow MA graduates to
dine at High Table.
Many Cambridge students, when
asked what they thought about the
granting of a Masters degree six
years after their first Michaelmas
term, expressed amazement at
the idea and most assumed it was
due to the high level of difficulty
of a Cambridge degree course, as
opposed to a long-standing custom
within the University.
A spokesman for the University of
Cambridge said:
“The Cambridge MA gives its
holders certain rights, particularly
in their participation in the
democratic governance structures
of the University, such as the recent
Chancellorship election. It has never
been a qualification obtained by
postgraduate study, a fact readily
acknowledged by the Quality
Assurance Agency.”
The
04| News
News in Brief
German student banned from cycling for fifteen years
Christopher-Felix Hahn, a student
of theatre science in Germany, has
been banned from riding a bike,
skateboard or any other “unlicensed
vehicle” on the streets after cycling
home drunk from a party in June
2008. Hahn said he did not feel in
an unsuitable state for cycling, but
he was apprehended and breathalysed by the police on his journey
home. He was given a €500 penalty
and will not be able to apply for any
kind of driving license for at least
fifteen years.
Fears Facebook posts will blight
student job prospects
VC speaks out for the arts and humanities
Michael Yoganayagam and Timur
Cetin
The Vice-Chancellor of the University
of Cambridge, Professor Sir Leszek
Borysiewicz, has spoken out in support of the arts and humanities teaching and research.
In a speech at Emmanuel College
last Thursday on the second day of
the Festival of Ideas, entitled “Who
cares about the arts and humanities,” Professor Borysiewicz provided
a comprehensive assessment of the
value of the arts and humanities saying: “These sets of arguments that
the arts and humanities are valuable
because they are beautiful, that their
contribution to our nation’s wealth
is significant and that they are useful
to us as human beings navigating the
natural and human worlds have always seemed to me to be compatible”.
He also spoke out against the “arts vs.
science” debate saying, “I am eternally
frustrated by the idea that either set
of disciplines should have precedence
over the other, and baffled by what
could possibly be gained by a model
in which one faculty is superior in
rank to any other.”
The Vice-Chancellor also outlined
what he perceived to be the main
threats to arts and humanities teaching and research in the UK at the
moment. The introduction of the Re-
A public airing on Tuesday night
saw residents supporting new plans
to replace trees on the Backs. College chiefs proposed to remove
about 35 alders from the land adjacent to Queen’s Road, known as
Clare Hall Piece, because they have
caused a number of the neighbouring oaks to fall. The trees will be
replaced with 50 oak, beech and
other species in an “off-line” pattern to create a less formal landscape. Strategies have been drawn
up to re-plant the avenues that lead
to Clare and King’s College, but as
yet these plans are not being actively considered.
York Student Union Racial and
Equality Officer resigns
Lawrence Binitie, sabbatical officer
for York University Student Union
has resigned following a formal
complaint by a York Labour Councillor. Binitie was accused of making anti-Semitic comments during a Facebook conversation with
councillor David Levene regarding
Benjamin Netanyahu’s speech at
the UN in which he said “I would
be ashamed, if I was from Israel or
even Jewish to be associated with
this.” Binitie issued an apology, and
said “the decontextualized screenshots are not an accurate reflection
of my private views.”
search Excellence Framework (REF)
as a new means of allocating research
funding to university departments
will mean 20-25% of research funding
is to be dependent on “demonstrating the impact of research” – a move
which, according to Borysiewicz,
caused “ dismay, incomprehension
and anger” among many in the arts
and humanities at Cambridge. He
went on to explain: “if the focus of
my life’s work has been on aspects of
gender in the 19th century French literature, I might struggle rather more
to explain the impact of my work
than the engineer who fixed a wobbly
bridge”.
Borysiewicz also cited the recent
increase in undergraduate tuition fees
as the most high-profile danger to the
arts and humanities, noting: “Students
faced with paying back higher fees
will ask themselves, to a greater extent
than at present, what’s the monetary
value of a degree in the humanities?”
While Borysiewicz was confident
that Cambridge’s reputation would
mean it would continue to attract “sufficient, excellent and highly motivated
students at undergraduate level to
maintain the diversity of courses”, he
did state his concern for postgraduate
study at Cambridge. He said: “Having incurred debt for a postgraduate
course, the prospect of further debt
will be unattractive in the extreme.
And it is the postgraduate level which
renews academia.”
On the future of arts and humanities at Cambridge, Borysiewicz was
unequivocal: “I do not expect that any
department or faculty or course in the
arts and humanities will need to close
as a result of the recent changes to the
funding of higher education”. However, he did bemoan the possibility that
arts and humanities faculties at other
universities may have to close amid
the pressures he described.
The warnings of the Vice-Chancellor with respect to a possible axe on
the arts and humanities is the latest
contribution in a series of warnings
from the country’s leading academicians, among them the former Director of LSE, Lord Giddens.
be better placed to get a job to make it
worthwhile”.
This comes as the government are
taking action to increase competition
in the Higher Education market.
The new White Paper has increased
the amount of information that will
be available to university applicants,
including current students’ views
and average starting salaries for each
course.
The Which? survey has been
greeted with support from universities
minister David Willetts, along
with the Department for Business.
A spokesperson for the Department
said: “We want [students] to have
a broader choice of information
and we welcome the interest of
organisations like Which? in supplying
this.”
However, the idea has met opposition
from academics who believe degrees
should not be valued in monetary
terms.
The vice-chancellor of Cambridge
University, Sir Lesqek Borysiewicz
,expressed concerns that students will
be discouraged from studying less
popular or “purer disciplines” if they
know the resulting financial rewards
will be less.
The survey has also met mixed
reviews from students.
George Pilakoutas, economics
student at Fitzwilliam College approved
of the idea, saying “Students need as
much support as they can for making a
very early life changing decision.”
However, Sioned French, student
of veterinary medicine, argued that,
“you can’t compare every university
course in a standard way: different
courses will have different benefits to
individuals which cannot be ranked.”
Choosing university? Which?
Connie Fisher
Support for Backs tree planting
scheme
Thursday, October 27th, 2011
Cambridge University
Four out of ten students are concerned that content they publish on
social networking sites will affect
their career chances, according to
the results of a survey conducted
by the Information Commissioner’s
Office published this week. This
comes weeks after arbitration service Acas warned employers not to
be “heavy-handed” while monitoring potential employees’ online information. The survey also raised
concerns that students are not
adequately protecting themselves
against the risk of identity theft because they fail to redirect their post
or don’t check their credit rating.
CambridgeStudent
The consumer magazine Which? has
announced plans to publish a guide to
British universities.
As a result of the recent rise in fees,
there has been a call to provide students
with more advice regarding how useful
studying a degree at university will
be for their future life. Jenny Allen,
head of public services at Which?,
explained the survey will compare each
university’s location, teaching provision
and research quality in addition to
whether students will “at the end of it
Students welcome taxi
safety measures
Tessa Evans
Deputy News Editor
Proposals to impose tighter disciplinary rules on taxi drivers have been
greeted by students as a positive step
towards improving student safety.
The changes, which would see drivers getting penalty points for complaints relating to conduct or safety,
have been discussed by Cambridge
City Council licensing committee.
The committee has also approved
a new code of conduct for the trade,
which introduces basic English and
numeracy tests for potential taxi
drivers.
Students have previously been
advised to take taxis as a safer alternative to walking home alone, but
recent incidents involving student
intimidation by taxi drivers have left
many wondering if this is really a safe
alternative.
Some students have therefore embraced these proposals as a welcome
safety net.
Katherine Nolan, a third year at
Murray Edwards, told The Cambridge Student: “In light of recent
events, safety is the most important issue, particularly for those
students who live further away from
town.”
Other students have welcomed the
sentiment behind the plans, but fear
that the system is at risk of abuse.
Pei-Wen Yen, a third year PPS student, suggested that “there is obviously an issue with unfair reporting”
adding that “individuals must not
abuse the system.”
The proposals have been widely
opposed by taxi drivers, who have
put together a petition of nearly 600
signatures in protest of the fact that
they have not been consulted about
the changes.
Nightclub pickpocketing
on the rise
Kenneth Meyer
The nightclub scene in Cambridge gained further ill repute for
safety as police statistics revealed a
massive increase in pickpocketing
during the first half of this year.
Thefts of mobile phones,
purses and personal items
rose 42 per cent compared to the
same period last year.
These figures add to the statistics
unveiled last month demonstrating
that nearly one crime per day occurs in a Cambridge club.
310 crimes were committed in
the nightclubs in the 12-month period ending in July 2011.
The Cambridgeshire Constabulary recently arrested and charged
three men for pickpocketing in
clubs.
All three pled guilty in the Cam-
bridge Magistrates’ Court.
Inspector Steve Kerridge was
quick to note, however, that there is
nothing to suggest that these three
alone were responsible for the increase in offenses.
His response comes on the
heels of reports that gangs of
criminals from Luton were targeting partygoers in Cambridge.
“While the three people
charged in connection with the
police investigation were from
Luton, we are keeping an open
mind as to the reasons behind the
increase in thefts and who is responsible,” Kerridge said.
“Six arrests have been made
and we are working hard to
bring these figures down so that
people can enjoy a night out
in the city without becoming
a victim of theft.”
The
Thursday, October 27th, 2011
CambridgeStudent
Oxbridge: birthplace of British
binge-drinking
Connie Fisher
ale-houses, and wine consumption almost doubled in the period.
Britain’s obsession with binge- “Students learned not just to study
drinking has its roots in the drunk- but to drink, which became integral
en revelry of Oxbridge drinking to male bonding, camaraderie and
societies in the 1600s, new research rites of passage,” Dr Withington
claims.
stated.
According to Cambridge History
Britain’s notorious booze culture
lecturer Dr Phil Withington, the has previously been blamed on the
boom in numbers of educated elite working classes of the past, but
arriving at Oxford and Cambridge the research claims the poor
came hand-in-hand with a mas- would not have been able to
sive increase in excessive alcohol afford excessive amounts of
consumption, drinking games and alcohol.
raucous banter.
This research is part of an
In
1630
student
num- ongoing investigation funded
bers reached a peak which by the Economic and Social
wasn’t exceeded until after Research Council into the probWorld War One.
lem of binge-drinking in Britain.
Hundreds of wealthy gentle- Dr Withington, expert on the role
 
men celebrated their new-found of intoxicants in the early modfreedom at gentleman’s clubs and ern period, said the actions of
17th century Oxbridge students,
including Latin drinking games
and the performing of initiation
rites to join societies, has echoes in student activities today.
“Socialising became intrinsically
linked with intoxication and drinking establishments and it became
OK to be very, very drunk in public
– attitudes we have inherited.”
Cambridge has a tradition of notorious alcohol-fuelled social events
including Suicide Sunday and the
annual Varsity Ski Trip.
Welfare and Rights Officer Rosie O’Neill said drinking was
“undeniably a part of student life” but health concerns
should not be focused solely on
students but on the increasing
drinking problems among older
adults in society.
News
|05
Chinese democracy?
Judith Welikala
News Editor
A Cambridge student society has
been officially de-registered by the
University following infighting
due to the outgoing president
unconstitutionally
reinstating
herself in the role.
Feifan Chang, the 2010-2011
President of the Cambridge branch
of the Chinese Scholars and
Students Association (CSSA-CAM)
circulated an email on 13th July
to all members announcing that
she had been unanimously elected
by the executive committee for a
second term.
Members of CSSA-CAM recall
no knowledge of such an election
occurring.
Chang circulated a second email
four days later announcing the
new members of the executive
committee, while several members
of the executive committee found
they had lost their previous
administrative privileges on the
society’s mailing list.
It soon transpired that only two
email addresses, both of which
belonged to Chang, retained these
privileges.
After
failure
of
internal
negotiations, some members of the
executive committee contacted the
University’s then Junior Proctor,
Jane Spencer, noting that the
President’s actions systematically
violated clause 5.16.3 of the
constitution, which mandates an
election if more than one candidate
is running for presidency.
Another clause detailed that
the only situation in which an
election would not occur would
be if there is only one candidate,
and after at least one week of
a public announcement and
solicitation of comments from
regular members, in addition to
the fact that after this week has
passed, the executive committee
would need to grant their explicit
approval.
In fact, there were several
individuals who expressed an
interest in running for president.
The society was warned: “if I hear
nothing further, then at the start
of the academic year, in October,
the incoming Junior Proctor will
formally de-register the society.”
Throughout the correspondence,
the Junior Proctor repeatedly made
clear that she noted the dispute,
but would not take sides. Hence,
the matter needed to be resolved
internally.
The failure to reach an agreement
before the deadline resulted in its
de-registration on 6th October,
leading to CSSA-CAM losing its
mailing list, and its ability to receive
funding from the University’s
Societies Syndicate. It is now also
ineligible for CUSU funding.
The matter is yet to be resolved.

 
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








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
 


The
Cambridge to play a major role in
deciphering the epigenome.
Universities drop fees for funding
Jeremy Evans
Cambridge has established itself as
a key player in a £35 million pound
project studying the emerging field
of epigenetics. Forty-one research
institutes are involved in the study,
which examines how changes in
gene expression, brought about
by mechanisms other than those
changing the DNA sequence,
are inherited. These changes can
lead to an increased susceptibility
to diseases such as cancer and
could account for the differences
between identical twins. The 5-year
project, which is called Blueprint,
could lead to massive advances in
the treatment of a wide range of
diseases.
In light of new incentives introduced
by the government, the Office for
Fairer Access (OFFA) have reported
that 28 universities have expressed
an interest in lowering their fees.
Universities have been told that
charging £7,500 or less makes them
eligible to bid for 20,000 funded
student places that will be held back
by ministers from the general pool.
Charging above this threshold will
reduce universities’ “core” student
numbers by around 9 per cent, a
strong motivation for institutions
Councillors campaign
drunken loitering
Emily Loud
Deputy News Editor
against
Drunken loitering is becoming a
bigger problem in Cambridge, with
the streets becoming increasingly
crowded both day and night,
according to City Councillors
George Owers and Jeremy Benstead.
The Councillors are appealing to
local authorities to address the
problem, which is particularly
prevalent in the areas around the
Grafton Centre and Mill Road, and
have asked Cambridge City Council
to vote on a motion that will help
to solve this issue. Cllr Owers said:
“These people need help and it
is not in their own interest to be
destroying their life through their
dependencies.” He went on to later
to say: “They need help to pull their
life up.”
Hunt for stalker who cut off
student’s hair
Police in Fallowfield, Manchester,
are searching for a man who
followed a student on her way to
a lecture and cut out chunks of
her hair. Jessica Wright, student of
events management at Manchester
Metropolitan University, was
followed by a man for about 20
minutes before he approached
her from behind and repeatedly
touched her hair. When Jessica
realised he had snipped out a long
section of her red hair she ran
into a nearby University building.
Clear CCTV images of the attack
are being analysed.
Sainsbury’s bid fails
Plans to open a Sainsbury’s Local
on Mill Road were rejected on
Tuesday evening by development
chiefs. Residents flooded a
planning meeting in the Guildhall
where councillors heard hundreds
of objections and were presented
with a petition featuring over 3000
signatures. The county council had
originally approved the plans but
changed their decision following
the company’s proposal to create
a loading bay. The application was
also rejected due to loss of leisure
facility, traffic hazards and limited
access for the blind and disabled.
Thursday, October 27th, 2011
to reduce their fees.
Institutions
will
have
to
demonstrate their commitment to
access and outreach, as well as the
net benefits for students, in order to
be eligible.
Ministers’ failed to “do
their sums properly”
OFFA has defended its decision,
stating that it is in the students’ best
interests. Director for Fair Access
Sir Martin Harris said: “In deciding
how to approach revisions to 201213 access agreements, we have
sought to minimise the impact on
applicants.”
OFFA insists that it has given
universities enough time to
put together their applications,
highlighting that it provided
rough guidelines when the
White Paper was first published.
In addition, it is requiring all
such universities to keep their
applicants informed and up to
date, and is also enabling students
who have already applied to adjust
their applications if affected by the
changes.
Nevertheless, the National Union
of Students (NUS) condemned the
changes as continuing to “wreak
havoc and chaos on students
and universities,” blaming the
government’s inconsistency on the
Ministers’ failure to “do their sums
properly”.
NUS accepted that OFFA had
been placed in a difficult position,
but warned that the last-minute
changes would see “money taken
from students’ pockets in order
to pay for the Government’s
miscalculations.”
Council warns of “fallout zone” for fireworks
Cambridge City Council has
emphasized the importance of its
firework safety guidelines in the
run up to bonfire night.
The Council has decreed that
fireworks must not be watched
from outside the boathouses,
specifically in reference to the
annual city firework display,
which takes place on 5th
November
on
Midsummer
Common. In order to ensure that
its rules are upheld, there will
be marshals in place around the
river to make sure that their safety
regulations are not breached, with
a view to prosecution if required.
The Council went further this week
by sending these regulations to the
colleges.
Eddie Barcan, event manager
at Cambridge City Council, told
The Cambridge Student “For
over eight years we’ve been advising
people to view the display from
Midsummer Common or from
within boathouse buildings, as
Andy Marsh
06| News
News in Brief
CambridgeStudent
opposed
to
the
hard
standing
beside
the
river and behind the fallout zone.
This is because, despite the distance
of this area from the fireworks
being in excess of recommended
guidelines, the risk of debris
blown by gusts of wind and
causing injury does exist.”
Emphasising
the
Council’s
concern for student safety,
he added, “fireworks should not
be lit in front of the boathouses
as this would be extremely
dangerous”.
warned that “we cannot take it
for granted that Cambridge preeminence will continue, when
other countries put a higher value
on long-term investment.”
Cambridge
University
Conservative
Assocation
Campaigns
Officer
James
Wakeley disagreed, arguing that
“Government spending is not the
only way to preserve and advance
the high standing of UK institutions
like Cambridge” and pointing to
the USA as a model for developing
“partnerships between academia
and the private sector.”
Cambridge MP Julian Huppert
defended the government’s policies
to The Cambridge Student, arguing
that the government was “relatively
protecting science funding in these
difficult times.”
Huppert vowed to “continue
to push the government to spend
more money in this area” so that
the university could continue to be
rated “best in the world”.
Emily Loud
Deputy News Editor
set to walk out on 30th November.
These unions had originally been
campaigning to get their pay to
stay in line with retail prices index
inflation, which currently stands at
5.6 per cent.
This pay packet does not even
get near this figure, as even for
those on the lowest rung of the
wage ladder it would represent a
rise of 1.1 per cent.
A
further
consideration
is that this agreement does
little to solve the unions’
concerns about the government’s
changes to their pension plan, which
involves cuts to pension benefits
and a rise in the default pension
age.
A
spokesman
for
the
Universities
and
Colleges
Employment
Association
(UCEA) said that this offer
was made “in recognition of the
difficulties faced by the lowerpaid staff working in the sector in
the current financial climate”.
Cambridge research HE Unions in
in jeopardy
conflict
Tessa Evans
Deputy News Editor
Cambridge University’s research
base is under threat, according to a
government-commissioned report
published this week. Controversy
has erupted surrounding the
findings, which suggest that with
UK investment in science and
research set to fall in relative
terms over the next four years, the
university’s position as a global
leader is in peril.
The government-commissioned
report suggests that the UK’s
leadership position is “threatened
by its declining share of researchers
globally, and by its declining share
of global spending on research.”
Cambridge
Labour
Party
Chair Daniel Zeichner, told The
Cambridge
Student:
“Cutting
investment in key areas like science
and innovation produces shortterm savings, but very quickly
causes longer-term losses” and
The Universities and Colleges Union
(UCU) have accepted a one-off sum
of £150 per member after balloting
its members, 58.7 per cent of
whom voted to accept the pay deal.
This news comes after UCU, a
union whose members include
Cambridge academic staff, voted
for strike action earlier this month.
However, this is only one
of the five higher education
unions involved in the decision,
and at present a consensus seems
unlikely.
Unite has already refused the
offer and Unison and GMB are
still considering the deal, although
the Educational Institute of
Scotland looks likely to accept after
consulting its members.
This disjunction means that
UCU’s acceptance does not indicate
any change of strike action among
public sector workers, who are still
The
Thursday, October 27th, 2011
CambridgeStudent
Private school pupils monopolise top A-level grades
Students in the private sector are four
times more likely to get straight As or
A* grades at A-level than those in state
comprehensives, statistics published
this week reveal. This summer, almost
32% of private school students gained
three A or A* grades compared to
the 8% achieved by their state school
counterparts, despite the fact that students in the private sector make up
only 1 in 14 students nationally.
According to this data, one in ten
from sixth form colleges achieved
these top grades, 8.3% in comprehensives and less than 5% of those from
further education colleges. 12.8% of
students – nearly 49,000 – achieved
three As nationally.
This monopoly on higher grades
puts those from private schools
at a significant advantage when
applying for Russell Group universities
which, amid competition for places,
increasingly demand at least three As
from candidates.
A significant number of state school
students with the potential to succeed
academically and who could have attained these grades had they attended
a private school are therefore finding
themselves excluded from top universities.
These figures come amid
controversy after the airing of a proposal by Britain’s biggest exam board,
AQA, to rank A-level students
and award bonus-points to students
from
lower-performing
schools who achieve top grades.
Proposed at this season’s political
party conferences, the idea has been
roundly condemned by both politicians and universities.
A spokesman from the University of Cambridge said, “The
University invests significant time
and resources in outreach activity to raise aspirations and encourage
applications from under-represented
groups.”
After citing events such as
Challenge Days for pre-GCSE
pupils, Summer Schools and sub-
ject Masterclasses for older students,
he added, “We aim to ensure anyone
with the ability, passion and commit-
ment to apply to Cambridge receives
all the support necessary for them to
best demonstrate their potential.”
student body. The low turnout
was despite external support for
the ‘yes’ campaign from a group of
30 Cambridge academics and the
International Jewish Anti-Zionist
Network.
Though this rendered the
vote
inquorate
against
the
requirement of 10% of students, the
Palestinian
support
group,
Cambridge Boycott Divestment
Sanctions (BDS), are still viewing
this as a victory for their campaign
since 58% of those who voted were
in favour of the motion.
Owen Holland, one of the
student
campaigners,
said
“Though the referendum did not
meet the threshold to become
CUSU policy, we will be
campaigning to have CUSU adopt it
anyway and push the University to
drop its contract with Veolia.”
The
group
also
voiced
concerns about “irregularities”
in the referendum such as it
taking
place largely online
without
ballots
in
college.
Low visibility was also suggested
by the survey in last week’s edition
of The Cambridge Student, in which
0% of students surveyed were
aware of the referendum’s existence.
The company, which has
been accused of being complicit
in human rights abuses through
its involvement in the transport
and landfill activities in the
Occupied Palestinian Territories,
currently manages the University’s
waste
system.
Its
contract
is up for renewal in September 2012,
and it seems the ‘Bin Veolia’
campaign will continue until then.
Gordon Witzel
Louise Ashwell
Veolia referendum: a waste of time?
Emily Loud
Deputy News Editor
The CUSU referendum on whether
to lobby the University not to renew
its contract with Veolia failed to
reach a conclusion.
The referendum, which was
held largely online from 21st24th October, received only 1556
votes, amounting to 7.2% of the
News |07
University of Wales
abolished in merger
Alex Jackman
The University of Wales (UoW)
will effectively be abolished when
it merges with Trinity Saint David
and Swansea Metropolitan Universities. Earlier this month it emerged
UoW-accredited degrees had been
awarded improperly through linked
colleges, in at least one instance for
the purpose of circumventing immigration law.
The University itself, which
is effectively a confederation
of those smaller entities, will
reform under the charter of Trinity
St. David – a move which will mark
the end of a body formerly responsible for 70,000 students worldwide.
Last year it emerged that a
UoW affiliated institution, Rayat College in London, sold
examination answers for diplomas which would exempt
students from much of the work
on UoW MBA courses. The
college was inspected and validated by the University of Wales
in July, but was exposed when an
undercover BBC Wales reporter
paid £1500 for diploma answers,
which were later replicated in
students’ exam papers.
This was not the first issue with
the former UoW’s validation process: last year it cut ties with a Malaysian business college whose principal was found to be holding false
degrees. Two-thirds of UoW’s in-
come in 2009 was from externallyawarded degrees, and various constituents of the University gained
their own powers to award degrees
in 2007.
Luke Young, the president of the
Welsh NUS, told The Cambridge
Student, “The decision for the
University of Wales to merge
with Swansea Metropolitan, under
the Trinity St David’s Charter, ensures that the Wales brand evolves
and that a new university emerges to
take a leading role in Welsh higher
education.
Undercover reporter paid
£1,500 for diploma answers
“I have been personally assured by [UoW vice-chancellor]
Professor
Medwin
Hughes that the University of
Wales and its successor will
take the commitment to students
seriously, ensuring that they have a
central role in forming a new university in South West Wales.
In
an
official
statement,
Professor Hughes hailed the merger
with St. David as “a new beginning”
for a “strong brand”. The
Trinity
St.
David
website
pointed out the merger was
also “part of the Welsh Government’s announcement in December
2010 that it wishes to see no more than
six universities in Wales by 2013.”
Graduate Open Evening
Wednesday 2 November 2011
Online booking is essential:
lse.ac.uk/Cambridge
11_0758 Student Ad CambridgeV2.indd 1
07/10/2011 15:57
The
This Week
Gaddafi killed
Colonel Muammar Gaddafi was
killed when National Transitional
Council forces finally managed
to overthrew Sirte, one of the few
remaining towns under loyalist
control. Gaddafi has now been
buried in a secret loation after his
body was given a public viewing.
Syrian army turns on itself
Seven Syrian soldiers were killed
after members of the army sided
with protestors and shot their
colleagues. The revolt took place
near the northwestern town of
Maarat al-Numaan, where soldiers
who defected during an assault in
the central district of Homs had
gathered.
Australia shelves
swap plan
refugee
Australia’s prime minister, Julia
Gillard abandoned plans that
would make people seeking
asylum be processed in Malaysia.
Under the ‘refugee swap’,
Australia would have sent 800
asylum seekers in return for 4000
refugees. The plan was designed
to disincentivise asylum seekers
and smugglers who make money
transporting them to Australia.
Boehner slams
‘reset’ with Russia
Obama’s
The US House of Representatives
Speaker John Boehner criticised
Obama for his attempts to ‘reset’
relations with Russia. Boehner
claimed that the gesture was
“nothing short of an attempt to
restore Soviet-style power and
influence”. In response, the White
House claimed that cooperation
with Russia had improved on a
number of levels, citing recent
agreements on both Iranian
sanctions and a reduction in
nuclear arsenals.
Brazil refuses
eurozone
to
help
Brazil rejected an idea that would
see it buy European bonds as
a way of shoring up the single
currency. Brazil had mooted the
idea of getting BRIC nations to
buy European debt, but has balked
after a lacklustre response from
other countries in the group.
China plans more “morality
building” broadcasts
China announced plans to cut back
on the number of entertainment
shows being shown on television
and replace them with programs
that “promote harmony, health
and
mainstream
culture”.
According to the latest directive,
for each station, no more than two
entertainment programmes can
be aired during prime time from
7:30pm to 10:00pm every night.
Thursday, October 27th, 2011
Comment: Who will mourn Gaddafi?
Sophie Partarrieu
Colonel
Muammar
Gaddafi
died last thursday, aged 69, near
his hometown of Sirte in Libya.
National Transitional Council
fighters dragged him from a
drainpipe where he and some of his
entourage had hidden after a NATO
airstrike blasted his convoy while
it attempted to escape. According
to the official report, he died
from bullet wounds in crossfire
between NTC fighters and loyalists.
Whatever the exact details, the fact
is his death has been cause for mass
celebration. Libyan fighters paraded
his dead body among cheering
crowds in Misrata, while people
chanted “the blood of the martyrs
will not go in vain.”
The question on everyone’s
lips now is – what will happen to
Libya? Will the NTC withstand
the interim phase? Will tribal
loyalties or Islamists threaten a
nascent democracy? What kind
of compensation will NATO
try to extract? These are valid
questions
and
everyone
is
understandably
thinking
about
quickly
moving
on from a troubled, bloody past.
For 42 years Gaddafi’s brutal
jamahariyya terrorized the Libyan
people in the name of his political
socialist experiments. He funded
terrorist groups, dabbled in
chemical weapons, and infuriated
western leaders with his bizarre
demands and erratic temperament.
Raegan dabbed him “the mad dog
of the Middle East.” Unsurprisingly
then, everyone is now thinking
‘good riddance’.
So, who will mourn Gaddafi?
Ironically enough, it would seem
that those who have the most to
lose from Gaddafi’s death are those
James Gordon
08| International
CambridgeStudent
who contributed to his demise.
France, Britain and Turkey amongst
others, have opened Libya up in
any number of directions that they
would be foolish to think they can
control. Lately, they had managed
to subdue Gaddafi and profit from
his petrodollars. They might find
the deeply conservative Islamists,
who are said to be gaining control
of the emerging government, much
less amenable to their plans.
The Libyan people have little
reason to mourn and look back. Yet,
they might find their aspirations for
the future vanish before their very
eyes if no serious re-examination
nation could find itself in a situation
similar to that in Lebanon, where
attempted erasure of the bloody
civil war and a lack of justice for
the war crimes has led to tensions
bubbling furiously underneath the
surface, always risking to break
out.
Mourning periods are useful
times for reflection and preparation
for the future. The Libyans can
continue celebrating, as long as
they remember to reconsider the
past, otherwise they might end
up carrying forwards far more
of Gaddafi’s legacy than they
intended.
Saving the euro: is austerity the answer?
Gurnek Singh Teja
This week Europe’s leaders meet
once again, to attempt to solve
the Eurozone crisis and avoid the
collapse of the single currency.
Bailout packages and numerous
deals have been agreed but short
term measures that simply smooth
over the cracks are failing. With
divisions and frictions emerging
between nations, Europe is up
against the wall and there remains
little time to agree how to shore
up the region, calm the financial
markets and stop the contagion
spreading.
Bailout packages for Greece,
Portugal and the Republic of
Ireland have been implemented
amongst many other agreements,
yet the financial markets remain in
turmoil. Why? Investors are under
no illusion that the Eurozone is
committed to the single currency,
however what they want is results;
an illustration that European
nations can achieve economic
Images_of_Money
Russian comandeers tram
Russian police arrested a fifteenyear-old who comandeered an
empty tram and drove it around
the city of Zlatoust, picking up
passengers along the way. By
switching the tracks, the police
left the boy no option but to
return to the depot where he was
arrested. According to an official
with the tram service, the boy was
a tram obsessive.
of the past is undertaken. Of
course, nobody wants to think
about Gaddafi now that he’s gone,
but the fact is, there are still many
supporters, and most notably one
of the largest Libyan tribes: the
Warfalla. Additionally, many of
Gaddafi’s family and entourage
need to be found and judged.
Finally, even if Gaddafi left no
dense governmental infrastructure
- such as in Egypt - behind, he left
a deep impression on every level of
society. Part of a smooth transition
involves engaging with history,
however abominable. If the Libyans
try to sidestep this, their budding
growth and thus leaders are under
pressure to deliver a credible plan.
It seems likely as a result of recent
market volatility that there may
be a ‘haircut’ on nations bonds,
simply allowing them to pay back
less than they borrowed. Although
this measure will no doubt help
countries like Greece avoid default,
the fundamental long run problems
of low and anaemic growth and
high debt remain.
Some economists have argued
Eurobonds, despite Germany’s
scepticism, must be issued to
promote growth and calm the
markets. By all member countries
guaranteeing each others’ debts,
they could all borrow on the same
conditions and costs. Indeed it
would push up borrowing for some,
but even more so it would require a
huge level of political integration:
a policy the electorate of Eurozone
member nations may not agree to.
Conversely a plan to strengthen
banks that could be hit by defaults,
is fully supported by European
governments.
In an attempt to avoid banks
going bust should losses be
incurred, banks will be required to
raise around 100 billion Euros by
selling shares. Bolstering the banks
could avoid another credit crunch
and allow lending to continue, key
to eventually solving the crisis.
In addition to this, leaders have
agreed to increase the rescue fund
known as the European Finance
Stability Facility. A credible policy
it seems, providing a huge safety net
in event of problems, preventing
crises spreading out of control.
Much of the reaction however
from European leaders revolves
around stopping the problems
getting
worse
rather
than
attempting to fundamentally solve
the problem.
Is austerity in Europe the way
to go about it? Many, like Stiglitz,
have come forward to say that costcutting measures are killing growth
in Europe and, without growth,
countries like Greece will not
recover from their position.
Policies on the face of it seem
credible and strong, but this damage
limitation mentality will not
help in the long run.
It is critical that European
countries grow and show signs
of strength and positivity, but
little backing for such measures
have emerged. Confidence is key.
Confidence from leaders, nations
and the financial markets.
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The
10|
CambridgeStudent
Thursday, October 27th, 2011
INTERVIEW
Nicholas Tufnell talks to Nick Baylis about happiness,
depression and the benefits of all-round well-being.
want to progress from where ever we
are at the moment. So no matter how
pretty, wealthy, clever, athletic, loving
and successful we feel now, we
will soon be hungry to do yet more.
That’s Natural and Healthy.
Ewan McIntosh
Hemingway said that happiness in intelligent people was the rarest thing
he knew. Why is it that it appears that
society’s most intelligent members
often seem to be the unhappiest?
As a former Times columnist, Penguin author and Cambridge University
lecturer, Nick specializes in how life goes well and can be helped to go even
better, teaching skills that are applicable to our loved-ones just as much as to
our own lives. Nick coaches teams and individuals to develop the strategies,
skills and lifestyles which help people get the best from themselves and each
other in their personal and professional worlds. Applying such strategies
results in far less illness, anxiety, depression and frustration.
You run free workshop seminars about
the psychological skills for all-round
well-being, what does all-round well
being mean?
Yes, a seminar at Wolfson College’s
Old Combination Room at 5.15 till
6.45, on Monday evenings. Everyone
welcome. I regard All-Round WellBeing to be demonstrated by the
skill and the will to create something
beautiful of whatever life throws our
way, whether setbacks or successes,
tragedies or triumphs and to do so
in harmony with a healthy Natural
World.
Why do you think so many people find
it difficult to be happy?
Our Education System and wider
Culture more generally, is horribly
oriented towards self-isolating, longdistance, passive consumerism (TV,
reading, i-phones, computer screens,
and pizza), and is the complete antithesis of what would bring healthy
life-satisfaction: creating hands-on
adventures to share with each other
(partnering up for sport, creative
community activities, and problemsolving projects). The former reduces
us to thick, lonely slobs, the latter
helps us to blossom (and the planet,
too). The voices selling us ever more
Technology have lied to us: having more, faster, easier and further
away does not make life better. On
the contrary: savouring what we already have, going slow and relaxed
(not rushing), investing ourselves
whole-heartedly, and keeping life and
the world around us as clear/close/
hands-on as possible is what helps
life to feel better.
I think the works of Shakespeare,
alone, disprove it. His stories and
characters were interwoven with
such a healthy mix of humour, love,
tragedy, philosophy and action.
But since I’m on the subject: Einstein and Richard Feynman were delightfully playful Physicists, equally
capable of great pathos. Big emotions
the painful and the pleasurable go
hand in hand. As Goethe said: Sadness is simply the sister of happiness
and they progress hand in hand. (As
do we.)
Alexander Dumas has his hero, the
Count of Monty Cristo, say on the
penultimate page of his epic novel:
‘We need to have wished ourselves
dead before we know how good it is
to live’. I personally take this to mean
that exquisite joy is only made possible if we have been prepared by excruciating pain. The one primes us,
readies us, for the other.
How can one most effectively deal with
moments of despair?
Do you really think it’s possible for
someone to feel completely happy
with themselves and their life? If complete happiness isn’t the ultimate
goal, what is?
Immediately seek to create something beautiful you can be proud
of that expresses your heart: write a
poem or song for a friend; bake them
a cake; do someone a kindness. Small
is not trivial. (A wink across a crowded room can lift our spirits or win a
heart.)
As soon as possible, take yourself to the University Counselling
Service and your College Chaplain
and Nurse and GP, and let them all
know in no uncertain terms just how
despairing you feel. Stand up and
declare your despair loud n clear…
and you’ll be doing so many other
troubled Souls around you a great
kindness (all those close to you who
were despairing, too, but were hiding
it out of shame, or the mistaken fear
there was nothing to be done).
Nature has, in the interests of improving our survival, hard-wired us to
Cambridge can be a very demanding
and stressful place for its students,
“Our education
system is horribly selfisolating.”
what advice would you give to students
reading this who are starting to feel
overwhelmed by the strain of intense
academic life?
Make it your business to study lives
that go well, perhaps by reading the
autobiographies of those whose
lives you have admired, so you can
glimpse how they managed to duck
n weave. What do you know about
the private lives and personality of
the historical leading lights in your
particular field?
“Sadness is simply the
sister of happiness and
both go hand in hand”
You might by these means better notice how the most inspiring
individuals are Well-Balanced AllRounders (Renaissance Women and
Men, if you will) who wisely prioritise
partnerships and shared adventures
with the good hearts around them.
You then might wonder how you
personally might set about improving the symbiotic harmony between
your own physical, artistic, scientific,
sexual and social dimensions…so as
better create the balance within yourself that Nature intends.
Cambridge is horribly and unhealthily heavy on the thinking,
speaking, sitting, writing, reading and
regurgitating (boozing and gorging)
i.e. all that self-isolating and un-Natural consumerism… and is tragically
light on the doing, dancing, singing,
creating, loving, and sharing of adventures. The product of that intense
academic life as you describe it…
or the Selfish Grade-Chasing which
more accurately describes it… is yet
another generation of Investment
Bankers, Journalists, CEOs, Medics,
Lawyers, Police Officers, Politicians,
PMs, Lords and Ladies, who think
it’s somehow okay to loot from others
by whatever white-collar means they
can devise.
Can happiness really be taught? If it’s
something that needs to be taught,
then isn’t that particular state of being
content simply an imitation or a
false simulacrum of happiness?
Happiness can’t be taught, but it can
be learned…by a bold, hands-on, exploration and experimentation and
adventurous curiosity for what helps
a life go well (one’s own, and the lives
of those we care for).
By contrast, I advise we all bring
a robustly healthy skepticism to the
prevailing brand of Positive Psychology and so called Science of Well-being (I taught these subjects for several
years here at Cambridge)…an academic cult that wants us to believe we
can investigate life through administering questionnaires or at best brief
interviews, supposedly about the dynamics and factors that are most vital
to a lifetime. They collectively ignore
a painfully inconvenient truth (thank
you, Al Gore) : that we have to watch
what people actually do in their everyday ordinary lives (outside of any
artificial laboratory experiment), as a
starting place to any credible understanding of how lives work.
When Detectives investigate a
murder, they don’t hand out questionnaires, they dig around for hard
evidence; so why can’t Research
Psychologists investigating life, be
as doggedly thorough as Detectives?
Today’s leading Positive Psychologists are pretending not to know this,
so as to further their careers through
popular books and published research papers (e.g. Stumbling on
Happiness by Harvard Professor
Daniel Gilbert which somehow one
a Royal Society award; and the million selling Authentic Happiness
by American Psychological Society
onetime President, Professor Martin
E.P. Seligman); Lord Richard Layard
and the New Economics Foundation.
All have based their claims on the
deceptive origami of questionnaire
research.
“Happiness cannot be
taught but it can be
learned.”
If happiness is so desirable, why do so
many people seem to enjoy misery?
For instance, many of Shakespeare’s
most acclaimed or popular plays are
deeply tragic, Greek tragedy is considered a high and important art form,
etc.
I think this is a bias perception. Art
and healthy Artists and healthy
Audiences are self-evidently equally
attentive to love, ardour, Beauty,
hope and humour, as it is to the painful emotions of life (Shakespeare included).
MEET SHELL
CAREERS INFORMATION & NETWORKING EVENT
At Shell we’re working hard to meet the growing energy demand in socially responsible ways. We need ambitious people
like you to help us tackle the challenge. We are particularly keen to meet high potential graduates interested in career in
Finance, IT, Trading, Engineering and HR.
To find out more and meet current staff at our networking event please register to attend.
Venue: University Arms Hotel, Regent Street, Cambridge
Event date: 1st November 2011
Start time: 18:30
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@ ShellCareers
Shell
The
12| Comment
Thursday, October 27th, 2011
CambridgeStudent
Comment Can public protests lead to real change?
As masses take to the street in New York and occupations loom in London, we ask if public demonstrations can ultimately achieve anything.
Yes: Public protest unveils how
the mechanisms for maintaining
power no longer function, argues
Sebastiao Martins
While “democracy” and “freedom”
have become fashionable words for
Western leaders talking about the
Middle East, in their countries both
terms have fallen short of their actual
substance, as capital concentrates
further.
In the US, for instance, 1% of the
population currently controls almost
half of the country’s wealth, and the
lower half controls less than 1%, with
unofficial unemployment figures
placed at over 20%.
Many no longer passively accept
this widening economic divide,
and seem to have awoken from
the slumber of the “The American
Dream” to face the reality of an
American nightmare.
Starting on Wall Street in late
September,
the
anti-corporate
‘Occupy’
movement
spread
like wildfire to more than a
hundred US cities, echoing
anger against widespread
social
disenfranchisement and eventually
reaching the shores of an already
protest-ridden Europe. Occupations
sparked in London and Rome, with
952 cities in 82 countries expected to
participate in rallies.
The gradual and popular-revolting
dissolution of the middle classes has
taken many forms since the onset of
the financial crisis, from public cuts
and decreasing job security to bailouts
and the slipping of billion-dollar
debts of “too big to fail” companies
into the popular wallet.
Some governments at the time
propagated the idea that the natural
downfall of these corporations would
provoke an economic Armageddon
threatening the survival of Western
civilization itself.
The ‘Occupy’ movement appears
to have shown us quite the contrary
– how the artificial maintenance of
those corporations (with some of
them announcing record profits in
the US last week) requires the very
destruction of the social strata which
they purportedly nourish.
However, will the movement be
successful in bringing about a much
needed change to a system that seems
to have gone astray, from capitalism
to corporatism and from democracy
to a polyarchy of the 1%, by the 1%
and for the 1%?
In any society, the ruling sector has
to be mindful of the primary threat to
its interests, and that is the majority
of the domestic population, with
its aspirations to a more egalitarian
distribution of wealth.
It then follows that these aspirations
and the social frustrations which
feed them should be monitored and
prevented from bursting out, so as
not to threaten the status quo.
The latter being a crucial part
for the maintenance of any power
structure, is it not clear then that it
is not working anymore, that the
bursting out of the protests is the very
manifestation of the system’s cracks?
If the ‘Occupy’ movement is the
harbinger of any effective change,
it is because it induces these cracks
on the surface, showing how the
mechanisms for maintaining power
no longer function properly.
The growing acknowledgement
of the influence of corporate
power on the political realm, for
instance, is as discovering the dwarf
who is operating the supposedly
“autonomous” and unbeatable chess
machine – and at this point the
machine starts to break down.
Indeed, in the US reactions on the
other side of the fence to the protesters
have revealed how threatening they
are. From being depicted as mere
anarchists or different groups with no
unifying message, these attempts have
aimed, unsuccessfully, at dispersing
this annoying movement. Even the
government’s “uncovering” of an
alleged Iranian plot to kill the Saudi
ambassador to the US has failed to
divert public attention, while mass
arrests and the beating of protesters
by police forces on Wall Street have
backfired, only contributing to
increase support for their cause.
Sebastiao Martins is doing an MPhil
in European Literature and Culture at
St John’s
Jamie Mathieson
Vox Populi
Revenge! A dish best served cold.
When Gaddafi came to power, Dave
was three years old. Barack was eight.
Nicolas was fourteen. Our revenge
was 42 years in the making, and 42
times as sweet. ‘That’s for Lockerbie.’
‘That’s for Yvonne Fletcher.’ ‘That’s
for IRA Semtex victims.’ And all
the Libyan people he killed too, of
course: it goes without saying, which
is why we haven’t said it.
Why the wait? Well, Gaddafi was
a tyrant – but he was a fun tyrant.
Look at him, being funny. Putting up
yurts in Central Park. Making long
speeches at the UN. Wearing silly
clothes. Ha ha ha. He was harmless!
900
cities worldwide
experiencing ‘Occupy’
protests
2000-3000
people currently
protesting outside of
St Paul’s Cathedral in
London
Devon Buchanan
153
people arrested
during the London
student protests
last December
1 million
people marched
through London
on February 15th
2003 against the
Iraq War (BBC)
He was practically white. Not one of
those proper African dictators, like
the ones the International Criminal
Court issue arrest warrants for. Oh,
I hate those ones, don’t you? Gaddafi
was the Libyan Boris Johnson: good
on TV, mostly harmless. Like Boris,
you knew he wouldn’t hesitate to
have you up against the wall if he
ever got the chance, but until then –
just enjoy how funny he is! Don’t be
a killjoy.
And we had him under control.
We had the mad dog disciplined,
through the power of handshakes.
Big, strong, manly handshakes.
The handshakes only a democratic
leader could give. We put the past
behind us: Lockerbie, Yvonne
Fletcher, all that stuff with Bono. But
No: Poor organisation means
all protests achieve is making
yourself feel better, says
Morwenna Jones
We all like to believe that we could
be united by a common cause, that
the voice of the people could make
a difference, and that groups of
individuals can reverse powerful
government decisions through the
glorified medium of fervent public
protest. But if we ignore what we
want to see and focus on what actually
occurs during demonstrations, it
becomes apparent that our naïve
faith in ‘people power’ is founded on
little or no evidence. Public protest
either fails to cause change or causes
superficial change whilst deep beliefs
take generations to truly change.
But why does public protest fail?
Well, primarily they are all profoundly
unpleasant for non-participants.
Many of the present “Occupy”
demonstrations around the world
have alienated support by disrupting
local businesses and communities.
“Occupy Wall Street” has received
complaints from residents of Zuccotti
Park of constant drumming, chanting
and even protestors urinating in the
street, whilst thousands of London
tourists have been disappointed by the
closure of St Paul’s Cathedral due to
the “Occupy London” demonstration.
Such patent disrespect for public
values doesn’t lead to blind support
for demonstrations from the general
public, but, especially when coupled
with media criticism, to nothing
more than public disapproval and
failure. Anybody that saw Charlie
Gilmour recklessly swinging from
the cenotaph in last year’s student
riots is fully conscious of the negative
effect that public and media disgust
can have on a protest.
The lack of hierarchical structure is
another reason why demonstrations
repeatedly fail. The American Civil
Rights Movement’s perceived success
was largely due to charismatic leaders
such as Martin Luther King who
were able to control demonstrations.
Today, the anarchic nature of public
protest often makes it difficult to
prevent peaceful demonstrations
from spiralling out of control and
failing as a result of public and
governmental condemnation, as
occurred in cities across the UK this
summer. Even in well-organised
demonstrations, such as the “Occupy”
movement, a lack of structure can
lead to protests being weakened by
diverse aims amongst protestors.
Speaking to BBC News, “Occupy
London” protestors cited reasons as
diverse as having “had enough of
the banks,” wanting “to show more
compassion” and “to support a global
movement.” With such varying goals
in mind, is it surprising that in its
third week the movement has yet to
achieve anything?
Of course not, but what is
surprising is that protests are
becoming increasingly popular. Not
because they succeed, but because
of an alarming trend for “rent-arebels.” One only has to look at the
“Occupy” demonstrations’ or even
at the example of Laura Johnson, a
millionaire’s daughter arrested for
theft during the London riots, to
see that public protest is becoming
progressively dominated by thrillseekers, attracted to demonstrations
by a longing to feel empowered by
sharing common aims, or at least
pretending to. Obviously such
superficiality cannot lead to real
change, and “rent-a-rebels” merely
serve to make public protests even
more unpopular.
Indeed real change cannot result
from public protest at all; protestors
merely make their causes unpopular
while their lack of organisation makes
the demonstrations themselves
unable to achieve anything. Yet
public protest does give the feeling of
doing something. People will always
be disillusioned with governments’
abilities to affect meaningful and
just change and although protesting
has little effect, taking part in a
demonstration is like shouting at
characters in a book or film, sadly, we
can’t change predetermined actions,
but at least we feel better.
the past does have a way of getting
back in front. I hate the past, don’t
you?
Being a tyrant isn’t bad in itself.
It depends on context, you see?
There are good tyrants and bad
tyrants. Good camp: Sir Alex
Ferguson, Steve Jobs, Indira Gandhi
(how could someone called Gandhi
be a bad person?), Pol Pot (funny
name). Bad camp: Hitler (like,
duh), the dean at Queens’ who
cancelled Ents for a bit, and Gaddafi
during the eighties and since
February, when we remembered
why we hated him in the
first place. Silly us! Always
forgetting who’s bad and who’s
good. It’s enough to make you
think those words don’t mean
anything at all.
Gaddafi has finally been brought
to justice. His eye has been eyed and
his tooth has been toothed. And it’s a
good thing too – he was a dangerous
man. Oppressing the whole country,
he was. Running it like a feudal Lord,
he was. People were so scared of him
they had to do everything he told
them.
All those poor people. They had a
terrible time of it, having to do just
what Gaddafi wanted, all the time.
In the government, and the army.
Poor guys. But it’s just lovely that
they’ve all got new jobs in the new
government to be getting on with, so
they don’t have to dwell on all those
unpleasant memories. I love revenge,
don’t you?
Morwenna Jones is a first year
English student at Murray Edwards
Thursday, October 27th, 2011
The
CambridgeStudent
Comment
|13
We are too cynical to play the Good Samaritan
Robin Lamboll
The death of Wang Yue, nicknamed
Yue Yue, has caused storms of rage in
the Chinese blogosphere. The twoyear-old wandered onto a busy road
and was run over, with the driver
continuing on his way. CCTV footage shows 18 people walk past the
toddler, many vehicles swerve around
her and one run over her again before
a garbage collector pulled her out of
the road and summoned medical assistance – ultimately too late.
The rarity of real-life ‘Good Samaritans’ here was not unusual. In China
there have been well-known cases
where victims have sued their helpers
for compensation such as Peng Yu,
who helped an old lady with a broken leg to a hospital and was forced
to pay 40% of the medical costs as the
old lady accused him of knocking her
over.
The judge in question was unable
to believe he might be acting altruistically. Since then, an 83-year-old
man lay in the middle of a street for
half an hour before dying because bystanders were too scared to help: Yue
Yue’s death could well be for the same
reason.
Taking advantage of those who help
you doesn’t just happen in China. In
2004 in Los Angeles a woman was
hastily removed from her wrecked
car by Lisa Torti, who feared the car
would explode. The woman was subsequently found to be paralysed and
sued Torti, as being moved after a
car crash could have been the cause
of this.
California has subsequently removed a loophole in its Good Samaritan law that allowed this – these
types of laws usually protect those
who act in good faith from being
sued, and much of the Western world
is covered by either these or laws
making it a punishable offence not
to offer help. China needs such a law
too.
people view
‘morality as
timidity’
But what we are really seeing here
is that in public spaces humans have
a very cynical attitude, both towards
helping unknown other people and
towards those who help others. It’s
something we as a species are quite
hypocritical about.
In the Darley-Bateson Good Samaritan experiment, divinity students going to give a talk on the
parable of the Good Samaritan were
made to walk past an actor who was
clearly in need of help.
These people were no more likely
to stop than students going to deliver a talk on an unrelated topic – a
finding that is particularly ironic for
those familiar with the original parable, which explicitly depicts the apathy of religious leaders.
But perhaps being cruel and uncaring, although in this case drawing ire
from the internet, is actually a more
logical path to take. For although we
might think we like everyone to be
nice, another study found that people
who self-identify as disagreeable earn
significantly more money than their
agreeable counterparts.
Moreover, students who were asked
to allocate fictional jobs based on a
short description of several invented
workers were far less likely to select
those who were described as ‘agreeable’. It appears that in the financial
world, to quote Nietzsche, people
view ‘morality as timidity’, and take
advantage accordingly.
But as the case of Yue Yue shows,
we don’t wish to live in a world governed by these laws: we recognise
the importance of caring actions,
that the exploitation of kindness is
wrong. And if we wish to live in a
world where these types of deaths do
not occur, apathy towards the plight
of others is something we are going
to have to fight, a fight of human will
against human nature. A fight even
Nietzsche would approve of.
Robin Lamboll is a 3rd year Natural
Scientist at Christ’s.
The
14| Comment
CambridgeStudent
Thursday, October 27th, 2011
Gleeful media has gone too far
Marion Koob
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NATO members felt the relief
of an objective attained and
Libyans - or most of them it
appeared - hailed a new beginning.
What was left behind was
how we, the western public, were
going to deal with the death and
how it was carried out.
The British press took a
contented, and in some cases,
violent angle. Titles ranged
from the likes of ‘no mercy
for a merciless tyrant’ (Daily
Telegraph), and ‘That’s for
Lockerbie’ (The Sun), to ‘A mad
dog in life but a cowering rat in
his last, brutal moments’ (Metro).
Is the media legitimate in
demonstrating such terrifying
moral ambivalence?
Stating the obvious, thankfully,
freedom
of
press
allows
papers to write pretty much
whatever they damn well want.
Therefore, what really needs
to be asked is to what extent
were
these
reactions
recommendable and appropriate.
The private and the public
are distinct realms; and some
sentiments are best expressed
in the former, not the latter.
We must recognize that in
the context of international law
and human rights, Gaddafi’s
death was a tragedy, as was his
forty-two year rule. Cheering his
death on is the equivalent of
spitting on the very principles
which the British media usually
dearly upholds.
Any rule, such as the Human
Rights Act, becomes truly
credible when its application is
costly, but is undertaken anyway.
It was certainly pragmatic to kill
Gaddafi. Libya’s new governing
force, the Transitional National
Council have been given an
opportunity to make a fresh start
without the specter of ongoing
trials disturbing efforts to rebuild
the country. It also provides
a clean ending for the foreign
NATO governments involved.
Cheering
his death is
the same as
spitting on our
principles
And, if we accept
a
move away from
respect of
human rights, it is possible
to argue that the death of
one benefits many. Had the
papers expounded their glee in
saying so, the response would
have been grim, but more
comprehensible.
However,
the
headlines
reeked of another altogether
different sentiment: the joy of
revenge. This is where the
private-public distinction comes
into play.
There is no harm in expressing
a sentiment of contentment in
privacy; families of the Lockerbie
victims must undoubtedly be
feeling some kind of relief.
However, these emotions have
no place in journalistic analysis,
where we as a society need an
objective account of events and
their implications.
The media
decided
Gaddafi
deserved to
die
We must consider what
congratulations
plastered
over photos of a bloody, dead,
man, say about us as a society.
In a society which capital
punishment is condemned, the
media decided that Gaddafi
deserved to die. What’s more,
the notion of ‘deserving’ any
sentence belongs to the judicial
realm. By taking the judgement
into our hands, we are simply
bending law to our convenience.
Even
pragmatic
rejoicing
soon meets its limits. The
benefits, as mentioned above,
gleaned
from
Gaddafi’s
death as opposed to his capture,
won’t be sufficient to pave
Libya a safe road to democracy.
Changing a regime system away
from autocracy takes a lot more
than the removal of the man
who ran the country. What’s
more, paradoxically, the new
authorities will be working
to
establish
and
enforce
the very structure that has
been violated by Gaddafi’s death,
the rule of law.
There we have it. The media
mistook the Libya conflict for a
manichaean one, in which the
ending climax would be by the
death of the deposed tyrant.
It disrespected the country by
interpreting its ongoing revolution
like a film.
The ‘satisfying’ death of the
villain won’t call on the credits.
It is, rather, an ambiguous
step in what may become a
long journey towards, we hope,
democracy. By assuming that
Gaddafi’s death is the be-all-andend-all we also run the risk of
relegating Libya to the back pages
of ‘foreign affairs’ sections, at at
the very time when it most needs
our attention.
Marion Koob is studying an MPhil
in International Relations at
Caius
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P19
The
CambridgeStudent
SATIRE
Want to get involved in Satire?
Email satire@tcs.cam.ac.uk.
My Artistic Visions
Why don’t you take a flying fuck
at a rolling doughnut? A rhetorical
question, of course, but it’s the
opening line to a new song I wrote
for my post-post-ironic one-man
hip hop group, My Quasi-Quasi
Brainchild, which I performed
for the first time last night in The
Devil’s Arse: it’s a sly and knowing
nod to my hero, Wilbur Daffodil-11
Swain, but I doubt you’ve heard of
him. He helped me through many
a tough night as a child. Before
moving to Shoreditch, I lived in
Beaconsfield, and let me tell you,
when it’s chucking out time at
10:30, you need all the help you
can get. Let’s just say Wilbur and
I have been through a lot together.
The song is from my latest album,
I’ve Got Shit on my Hands, which
is a contemporary take on Lady
Macbeth’s infamous “damn spot”.
With all this creativity going into
my music, I decided I needed to
channel it elsewhere, in order to get
the most from my genius. Thus, I
have taken up photography again. I
have started a new series of abstract
realist pictures under the title, The
Revolution will be Commodified!
I don’t really know what it means,
but it sounds like the sort of thing
I’m fighting for. I think my most
hard-hitting picture is of an offcentre chair in sepia tone. I often
like to write something profound
in the negative space, in this case,
“Chair. Are you there, Chair? Are
you ever really there?” I’m thinking
of setting up a gallery of my work
in Camden.
I spent all day yesterday in a coffee
shop. I find the atmosphere to be
highly conducive to a good work
ethic and cake; as the sun began
to set I decided I’d stayed there
long enough. It was the middle of
July and must have been at least 28
degrees, so I made sure I put on my
college scarf before leaving.
As I was riding my tricycle
home, I suddenly felt very odd.
There was a strange density in my
belly, which wasn’t helped by my
skin-tight jeans, and my heart felt
like it was going to explode... Was
I having another existential crisis?
Is this another sign that I’m getting
closer to figuring something out
that I didn’t even realise I was
trying to figure out? Or was this the
aftermath of spending an entire day
in a coffee shop and being forced
to eat 5 slices of cake and drink 10
cups of coffee so they didn’t kick me
out? Who knows? All I know is that
I blacked out and came to having
had the most extraordinary vision...
Until next time, Babs out.
SPECIAL
LATE NIGHT
DELIVERY
SERVICE
GET A PIZZA DELIVERED
THROUGH THE NIGHT
TILL 5AM
27 Hills Road,
Cambridge
To order call: (01223)
355155
Opening Hours: 11am - 5am, 7 days a week.
Across
1. Art? Prose? I can’t work it out! Ah,
I’ll do it tomorrow (13)
8. Rubbish god (3)
9. Ted’s noise is a mash-up of related
points (9)
10. Kiss and make up? Let’s skip over
the rough edges… (8)
11. Amongst the confusion, care
over measurement is lost (4)
14. Monet, for example, formerly
known as… Charles, maybe? (6)
15. Maybe Rowan blew everything
after netting his initial character
(2,4)
17. Demi-dozen deliveries, then
done (4)
18. Sounds like it might spice up the
movies (8)
21. Named after both horse and
rodent, whose tail is docked and
grafted on the front (9)
23. Skill reshapes sailor (3)
24. Smear over digits! Ooh, what a
clutz! (13)
Set by Mendax
HEADLINERS
Iranian President
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
announces Plan to Ò just
chill out for a whileÓ
GOVE ADMITS TO
INVOLVEMENT IN
WESTMINSTER DOGGING
RING
Teacher Dismissed For
Using Infant As Bong
CONFUSION REIGNS AS
Ò THE SUPERMARKET
GUYÓ ELECTED
CHANCELLOR
Alcoholics AnonymousÕ
Public Awareness Rally
Poorly Attended
Abby Jitendra, Lucy Wark and Tomas Rocha
Down
1. The Bishop of Rome uses this for
online shopping. Why not? (5)
2. When I’m in a muddle, I phone
Leo, a wine connoisseur (9)
3. About to choose the choice again
(8)
4. Midas’s mix-up makes pleasure
from pain (6)
5. To be or not to be? Definitely the
latter. Insanity is odd (4)
6. During Mayan turf war, insect is
exposed (3)
7. Sun risen during holiday, in the
north in the end (7)
12. Beat the best dessert (5-4)
13. Thousandth descendant (8)
14. No, no, before the part of speech.
Just saying… (7)
16. Inform on expiration of rubbish
dump (3-3)
19. “We didn’t do it”, claims negative
America (3,2)
20. Sounds like you weary of African
city (4)
22. Choose to search from top to
bottom (3)
Answers to last week’s
crossword
Across
1) backscratcher, 8) gnu, 9)
Quidditch, 10) lessened, 11) vita,
13) acock, 14) barbs, 17) rune,
18) Magdalen, 21) forty-five, 22)
oar, 23) ballroom dance
Babraham Jacques-Miller
P U Z Z L E D
Down
1) bagel, 2) cruise control, 3)
sequence, 4) raises, 5) tide, 6) hot
air balloon, 7) reheat, 12) Land’s
End, 15) prefab, 16) casino, 19)
nerve, 20) dyer
TV Highlights And now a word from the brilliant
by David Rattigan
Live Swan Baiting (Sky Sports 1,
Saturday 7:45 pm)
It’s man versus swan in the
ultimate battle of nature. Contains
strong men and swen.
Political broadcast by the British
National Party: “It matters if
you’re black or white.” (BBC 1,
Every day 12pm)
Extraordinarily racist, yet
compelling television.
University Challenge (BBC 2,
Monday 8pm)
A bunch of ponces damage
the image of their respective
institutions. Jeremy Paxman shouts
a bit.
Who Don’t You Know You Is
(ITV 1, Friday 6pm)
Fearne Cotton traces ancestry back
to weavers, and Chuckle Brothers
revealed not to be brothers.
PAEDO-NILE (BBC 1, Friday
6:30pm)
A convicted sex offender sails
the Nile in a boat weaved from
papyrus and condom silvers.
Documentary.
Dwarves Say The Funniest Things
(Dave, just all the fucking time)
Five dwarves compete to become
Britain’s funniest stand up but look
like they’re still sitting down.
Brian Coxswain (Discovery,
Thursday 8pm)
Handsome science man, Brian
Cox, discovers that rowing is
actually a load of shit. Factual.
Thursday, October 27th, 2011
Front cover by Dominic
Kelly. Photography by
Devon Buchanan
The
Thursday, October 27th, 2011
CambridgeStudent
FEATURES
Want to get involved in Features?
Email features@tcs.cam.ac.uk.
A is for Apple
Following National Apple Day last Friday, Marta Gruszczynska takes us through some tasty facts.
S
Pancakes with bacon, apples
and honey – serves 2 or 3
avoury or sweet, apples have
always been a popular snack
as they are cheap, tasty and
widely available. Archeologists have found evidence
that humans have been eating apples
since at least 6500 BC, and today there
are more than 10,000 varieties of this
fruit grown all over the world.
Easy peasy and delicious. Great for
lazy brunch after a night out or for
dinner.
200g self-raising flour
1 large egg
300ml milk
2 tbsp melted unsalted butter
1 tbsp cane sugar
pinch of salt
knob of butter
2 apples, cut into wedges
pinch of cinnamon
4-5 rashers of bacon
honey or maple syrup to serve
They appear in many religious
traditions and mythologies, being
associated with fertility, temptation
and love - in ancient Greece apples
were attributed to Aphrodite, so
to throw one at someone was to
symbolically declare one’s love.
Apples are also iconic in modern
culture, in the Apple logo, the Snow
White fairy tale and as a teacher’s
gift. But why are apples so popular?
The answer can be found in the
popular saying, “An apple a day
keeps the doctor away”, which comes
from an old English adage: “To eat
an apple before going to bed, will
make the doctor beg his bread”, first
mentioned in an 1866 publication.
With modern nutritional advice
recommending 5 servings of fruit
per day, the humble but tasty and
low-calorie (only 50 kcal per 100g)
apple contains many vitamins,
nutrients and other substances that
will nourish your body:
Mix together flour, egg, milk,
2tbsp of melted butter, caster sugar
and salt. Let the mixture stand for
an hour, or overnight.
Fry the apples with a pinch of
cinnamon in a little butter, until
soft. Fry the bacon until crisp, and
cut into smaller pieces. Keep warm.
Heat a frying pan, melt a knob of
butter, and drop in pancake mixture.
Cook pancakes on both sides, until
golden.
Layer the pancakes with bacon
and apple, and drizzle with honey or
maple syrup.
1. Apples are rich in dietary fibre
which lowers blood cholesterol
levels, and helps maintain bowel
integrity and health. Two-thirds of
the fiber are found in the peel, so
don’t peel your apple!
2. Apples contain good quantities
of vitamin C, which boosts the
immune system, and is a natural
antioxidant that protects the body
against oxidative stress. Other
antioxidants in apples include
flavonoids and polyphenols, which
protect us from the deleterious
effects of free radicals.
3. Apples are also a good source of
vitamin B, which increases the rate
of metabolism, enhances nervous
system function, and maintains
healthy skin and hair.
Although apples are so healthy,
most people don’t consider them a
particularly exciting snack. That’s
because we usually eat them raw, or,
in the best case, in an apple pie. How
boring! Autumn is the season when
apples are ubiquitous and delicious,
so why not to be more adventurous
in your cooking, and try some
recipes for apple delights that are
both easy and cheap to prepare?
Apple & nut risotto – serves 2
Absolutely scrumptious creamy treat
with apples, cinnamon and nuts.
Ideal for dessert or sweet dinner.
Apples orignated
in west Asia
Upon returning
successfully from
a space mission,
Russian astronauts
are presented with a
fresh apple
Apples are a
member of the
Rosaceae, or Rose
family
Apples are never
called the “forbidden
fruit” in the Bible,
just described as the
“fruit of the Tree of
Knowledge”. It was
likely first implied by
Hugo Van Der Goes
in his 1470 painting
The Fall of Man
depicting humanity’s
descent into sin
Clementine Beauvais
600ml milk
3 tbsp cane sugar
3 tbsp unsalted butter
150g arborio or carnaroli rice
50g finely chopped nuts (pecans/
walnuts/almonds/cashews)
1 large apple, unpeeled and finely
chopped
½ tsp cinnamon
Melt 1 tbsp butter in a pot, add
finely chopped apple and cinnamon.
Fry for 2 minutes, then take apples
out. Add 2 remaining table spoons
of butter and rice. Stir well until the
rice is shiny and the edges of the
grain start to look transparent. Add
100ml of milk, sugar, apples and
nuts. Reduce heat and simmer, until
milk soaks into rice.
Add more milk a ladleful at a time
while stirring the rice over a low
heat for 15-20 minutes, until the rice
is cooked al dente. Risotto should be
creamy, but not too soupy.
Decorate with nuts, sprinkle with
cinnamon, and indulge yourself.
Features |17
The
CambridgeStudent
FEATURES
Thursday, October 27th, 2011
Want to get involved in Features?
Email features@tcs.cam.ac.uk.
What comes after the
night of frights?
The Day of
the Dead
18| Features
food, music and an altar de muertos
alongside a workshop for learning
how to make alfeñiques, the sugar
skulls that are an unmistakable
component of Día de los Muertos.
This year, on the 5th and 6th of
November, the Mexican Society
will be hosting an exhibition in
the Graduate Union on the Day of
the Dead in Britain. The organiser,
Jeanette Roberts, is a fine arts
student from Norwich University,
and will be presenting artwork
along with other artists from
universities all over the UK. Some
of the well-known artists who will
be exhibiting include textile artist
Deanna Tyson and Wesley West.
As well as a showcase for artists’
work exploring the merging of
Mexican and British culture, and
the celebration of international
community,
the
two-day
programme will also include film,
live music, documentaries and
talks about the importance of Día
de los Muertos from a cultural
standpoint. The headline lecture
opening the exhibition will be given
by Alejandro Estivill, Chancellor of
Culture for the Mexican Embassy.
For all those who, after the
31st, still feel they haven’t got
their fix of Halloween goodness,
Día de los Muertos offers a fresh
perspective on death and life,
absolutely overflows with culture
and tradition, and promises to
be a bone-shakingly good time.
Day of the Dead in Britain
11am-8pm, 5-6th November,
Graduate Union, Mill Lane.
Free entry.
Glen Van Etten
and was originally a month-long
summer celebration. However,
the Spanish invasion of Mexico
in the sixteenth century saw the
festival condensed to just the
first two days of November to
coincide with All Saints’ Day
and All Souls’ Day in an attempt
to Christianise the celebration.
Despite the Conquistadors’ best
efforts to quash a festival they saw
as sacrilegious, the ritual remains
deeply rooted in its pre-Hispanic
heritage. Altars brimming with
offerings representing the four
elements are as much part of
Día de los Muertos celebrations
today as they always have been.
Alongside the religious element of
the holiday, Dia de los Muertos is
also an opportunity for celebration,
and to approach the heavy subject
of death in a lighthearted and
positive way. The defining image of
Day of the Dead is undoubtedly the
skeleton – from the calaca figures
of clothed skeletons returned
briefly to life, evident in costumes
and decorations, to the ubiquitous
calaveras (skulls), which refer not
only to skull-shaped decorations,
but also to short poems criticizing
the follies of mortals written
specially for the occasion, and
even to skulls made of sugar for the
adornment of altars, and for eating!
Here in Cambridge, the
University’s Mexican Society hosts
Day of the Dead themed events
every year – usually combining
elements of the traditional
celebration with events designed to
bring a wider audience to the event.
Last year, the society organised
Jennifer Janviere
H
alloween can be a
good antidote to
summer withdrawal
symptoms,
but
what about the day
after? In Britain it feels like a bit
of an anticlimax. Christmas has
Christmas Eve and Boxing Day to
flank it which eases the come-down,
but what is there to console us after
Halloween? This may be a gaping
void in our calendar which is only
half-heartedly filled by All Saints’
Day on 1st November (how does
one go about celebrating that?) but
in Mexico they’ve got it covered.
Perhaps it isn’t fair to compare
the Latin American festival Día
de los Muertos (Day of the Dead)
to Boxing Day. After all, one is
an ancient celebration inherited
from the Aztecs to honour and
remember the dead, and the
other is an extended hangover
to be remedied by consuming
as much Christmas chocolate as
can be salvaged from the drifts
of wrapping paper. On the other
hand, they are both celebrations,
and, morbid though it sounds, the
Day of the Dead is a cheerful one
too. The celebration stems from
indigenous Latin American beliefs
that maintaining a connection with
the deceased brings good fortune
to the family. For generations the
way to placate angry spirits has
been to remember them through
their favourite things in life.
Día de los Muertos has been
celebrated in many different guises
in Latin America for the last few
millennia. The festival is dedicated
to the goddess Mictecacihuatl
Señor Codo
Martha Henriques
investigates Mexico’s
liveliest festival of death
Kelly's Kouture: The Undead Range
By Dominic Kelly
Mummy. Our yummy mummies wear the finest papier toilette - double-ply, obviously; they wouldn’t
be seen alive in the cheap stuff.
Satchel provided by ASOS.
Brogues model’s own.
Models: Lianna Francis and Alice Gormley
Zombie. TCS’ undead wears most of what she put on the night before.
Indignity provided by 2010 Shiraz-Cabernet Sauvignon, 2 for £10.
Model: Judith Welikala.
Vampire. Devon wears Prada.
Believability provided by a genuine desire to model.
Prada provided by unwitting stranger.
Model: Devon Buchanan
Ghost. We deck our deceased in Sainsbury’s Basics Fitted Sheets.
Helmet provided by Bridge Cycles.
(WARNING: Neglecting road safety will come back to haunt you)
Model: Emily Loud
The
CambridgeStudent
Thursday, October 27th, 2011
OPINION
FRESHER MEAT
I did it. I made the leap of faith;
I took a risk; I dared to venture
into the unknown. Ladies and
gentlemen, this week, I went to the
University Library.
Allegedly once used as the
inspiration behind the Fascist
headquarters in a post-apocalyptic
novel, the UL is indisputably
quite an intimidating building.
Terrifying, in fact. But my mummy
always told me you should face
your fears, and so I whispered to
my bike in soothing tones until he
consented and agreed to take me to
the UL door.
I may be
vengeful but
I’m not sadistic
Three hours later, I emerged
feeling like I’d slain a dragon,
despite the fact that all I had
actually achieved was finding three
books and receiving an obscene
hand gesture from an overtaking
car on my way there. But I stand by
LISTINGS
Thursday 27 Oct
Liberal Democrats
Academic
This House Believes
There Is No Alternative
To The Cuts: Vince
Cable MP and George
Galloway, amongst
others, debate this
topical and controversial
motion. Cambridge
Union Society. 7:30pm.
Music
JagerRox at Fez Club:
Facepaint and glowsticks
at hand – DJ Milian will
be playing the big tunes
from the 90’s and 00’s.
£4. Fez Club.
“Battle commences this week, as Fresher columnist Rosalind takes
on those two mightiest of foes - the UL and Brian, her bike.”
that feeling of triumph. Navigating
your way around the UL for the
first time bears strong resemblance
to the seven trials of Hercules:
sci-fi lockers; Wings and Fronts;
a “Reading Room” (one wonders
what the other rooms in a library
are for…); glass cabinets; an
absurdly complex ordering system;
and the Mother of All Revolving
Doors. In a moment of panic, I did
wonder whether the UL was in fact
concealing a real-life Minotaur, and
had designed the ridiculously slow
and heavy entrance doors to stop
him getting indigestion by delaying
his prey’s escape. But, not one for
exaggeration, I soon dismissed
such a fanciful idea.
One thing’s certain, though: if
ever I was doubtful about the utility
of the interviews in the application
process, not so any more. Our
interviews tested the two key traits
required of anyone wishing to
succeed at Cambridge, and, more
significantly, at the UL. Firstly,
the interviews test your ability to
grasp profoundly difficult concepts,
without which you will never - I
repeat, never – succeed in finding
the book you desire (I mean
seriously…
45:41.c.200.37.5?).
Secondly, the interviews also test
the thickness of your skin; are you
able to cope when a senior academic
sniffs at your sentiments or laughs
at your logic? It was only watching
the face of the librarian twitch into
a smirk as she scanned my copy of
Plato’s Erotic Thought that made me
truly understand the usefulness of
this skill. Well, it’s hardly going to
be Greek pornography, is it? Very
immature.
Alas, despite my all-round
navigational victory, a nasty shock
awaited me when I carried my
decidedly unsalacious reading
material back to my bike. Try as I
might, the lock would not budge. I
knew I shouldn’t have left that copy
of TCS lying around… You see, I
have a strong, nagging suspicion that
Brian (for that, I have learned now
we have bonded, is my bike’s name)
read my comment about scooters
last week and became so inflamed
with jealousy that he wished to
punish me by pulling the very
same Pankhurst-move I myself was
threatening and chained himself to
the pipe. A strong political action;
it certainly pricked my conscience.
But two can play at this game of
emotional manipulation, Brian. Yes
indeed.
I was without my bike for four
days while I arranged my retaliation.
Then, early in the morning, the
Clerk of Works (whose kindness I
bless with all my might) turned up
to the UL with a van, an extension
lead, and a grinder, and sawed right
through that bad boy. (The lock,
obviously, not the bike – I may be
vengeful but I’m not sadistic).
I mean
seriously…
45:41.c.200.37.5?
Fortunately, Brian and I were soon
on good terms again, and I gladly
rode with him to the bike shop to
enquire about a new lock. I didn’t
have the cash on me, but, mistyeyed and deeply moved by Brian’s
forgiving nature, the journey to the
ATM and back seemed to pass in
no time at all. I gently leant him
against another bike outside the
shop. As I did so, the shop assistant
slurred at me through the window:
“Mind the green bike! It’s just been
painted.”
And – no word of a lie - as I
started to move Brian to another
spot, that very same shop assistant
I had spoken to a few minutes
previously muttered this gem: “Why
don’t you just lock your bike to the
wall?”
“I don’t have a lock,” I replied.
“That’s why I’ve come into your
shop to get one.”
How Brian and I laughed.
PICKS OF
THE WEEK
Friday 28 Oct
Saturday 29 Oct
Sunday 30 Oct
Monday 31 Oct
Tuesday 1 Nov
Wednesday 2 Nov
Music
Academic
Music
Theatre
Academic
The Beat: The band who
were at the forefront
of the 2 Tone scene in
1978 split up in the 80’s.
Reformed to acclaim
in 2003, The Beat will
play Cambridge with
support from Intercity
Crazy Train, and others.
£15. The Junction. Doors
7pm.
Plank: From the author
of Cambridge’s 24 Hour
Plays’ ‘Best Writer’
and ‘Best Play’ comes
Plank, a play about
chit-chit and smalltalk.
£5. Corpus Christi
Playroom. 9:30pm.
Jools Holland and his
Rhythm and Blues
Orchestra: The music
maestro and his
Orchestra will play
Cambridge as part of
their Autumn/Winter
tour for 2011, featuring
songs from old and new.
£34.50. Cambridge Corn
Exchange. 7:30pm.
An Enemy of the
People: A tale of love,
ambition, democracy
and truth, the ADC
presents Henrik Ibsen’s
(‘the Father of Modern
Drama’) play. £6. ADC.
7:45pm.
A meeting with
Quentin Blake CBE:
Alumnus of Downing
College and former
Children’s Laureate,
the renowned author
and illustrator talks at
the Union. Cambridge
Union Society. 7pm.
Music
Huguette Sings :
Including songs from
Charles Trenet, Serge
Gainsbourg, Edith Piaf
and Barbara, French
chanteuse Huguette will
sing at the Mumford
Theatre. £6/£8. 7:30pm.
Becky Forand
Comedy
Art: All about ‘a white
piece of shit’ – Yasmina
Reza’s award-winning
comedy explores art and
friendship. £5. Pembroke
New Cellars. 7pm.
Academic
Gyles Brandreth: The
One to One Show:
An evening of wit and
wordplay with the
author, actor, former MP
and One Show reporter.
£16. The Junction 2.
Doors 7pm.
Academic
Cinema
We Need to talk about
Kevin: Adapted from
Lionel Shriver’s novel
of the same name, the
film centres around a
fictitious college murder.
Tilda Swinton and John
C Reilly star. £6.50. Arts
Picturehouse. 6:45pm.
Academic
Women on boards:
business as usual:
Professor Susan
Vinnicombe, OBE and
Dr Ruth Sealy will give
a talk at St. Catharine’s
College. Free. 1-2:30pm.
Academic
Olga Jurgeson: We are
made of dust: Exploring
visual representations of
our life cycle and genetic
makeup, Olga Jurgeson’s
exhibition continues
until 19 November.
Free. Murray Edwards
College. 10am-6pm.
Bridget Riley in
conversation with
Paul Moorhouse: This
‘Friends of Kettle’s
Yard’ event coincides
with Riley’s current
exhibition, “colours,
stripes, planes and
curves.” £5. Palmerston
Room, St John’s College.
6pm.
Bridget Riley
The
Thursday, October 27th, 2011
CambridgeStudent
OPINION
Insantibridgians by Clementine Beauvais
V ET
c HAT
Post-grad tales of a
know-nothing exstudent, by Libby
Kemkaran-Thompson
I LOVE my job.
Dog with a throat wound arrived before
me this morning. Nurse tells me it’s a result
of a morning walk in the park gone wrong. I
crawl in the kennel with the panting dog and
start to gently examine the terrified bleeding
animal. Throat has large fist-shaped area
of missing skin from what looks like a bite
wound and I can see a bloody massive vessel
pulsing just below the surface of the open
flesh. Gulp, breathe, calm. I apply pressure to
stop the bleeding and out loud I say, “Right,
well - let’s start stitching this one up then”.
Inside, the usual immediate panicked runthrough of likely death scenarios starts up
inside my head in approximately this order:
1) What if I can’t get enough skin to close this
wound? 2) What if, whilst stitching, I wobble
and snag that enormous vessel and it bleeds
out? 3) What if I just wait ‘til the real vet gets
in and let them do it instead? Remind myself
firmly that this is ridiculous and I am totally
qualified and able to do this task. Also the
nurses are all just standing there watching
me. So I’d better (wo)man up and get on.
Actually, surprisingly, it goes quite... well.
I managed to sedate and then knock out the
dog all by myself. I got the ET tube into its
trachea first go. I worked at the wound to
reshape the jagged edges to provide a neat line
of closure. And I almost managed to decide
each step of all these things myself without
looking over my shoulder for someone to tell
me where and how to do all these things. I
managed to sew everything back into place,
using intradermal sutures, without leaving
it lumpy or gaping. I was actually... alright.
Wow. Maybe I am learning. Maybe I have
earned the right to be called vet after all
from this long hard slog that is my vet school
training.
Then the guinea pig with the mites came in.
Scratch that last fleeting thought. Realised
(when frantically leafing through notes and
drugs before they walked through) that:
Penicillin. Kills. Guineas. Didn’t know this.
WHY DIDN’T I KNOW THIS?? Surely this
is major information – okay so I suspect it
might possibly have been mentioned in
perhaps one lecture somewhere in our 6yr
course of 9-5 lectures – but seriously, so are
a great many other things. Loads. Other
supposedly ‘useful’ information like virus
envelope types and the Latin names of every
single muscle in the body are hammered
into us, and SHED loads of human drugs
for diseases animals don’t even GET…
(what is 2nd year all about anyway? Could
have pressed ‘mute’ on the entire course that
year and not have missed out). So surely
they should have had THIS fact somehow
highlighted - tattooed on my head at some
stage maybe. Loads of people have guinea
pigs. What if I hadn’t stumbled across this
fact by accident? I would have unwittingly
become the winnowing sword at my practice
merrily dispensing my cell-busting drugs
with reckless glee, leaving a scattered trail
of dead guineas behind me... Sometimes
I think this job is actually some sort of
impossible cosmic joke that’s been dreamed
up by a sadistically guffawing boffin who is
even now watching my fumbling efforts to
remember… er, oh yeah that’s right: fucking
everything.
Did my first ‘continuing training’ course
this week. Went to a room full of other
vets. Sat there, as a vet. Learnt stuff about
dog hearts. Realised again how much of my
library of student notes I can now just... throw
away, as cows are JUST NOT NEEDED now
I’ve put my hat in the ring as a Small Animal
Vet. Just brilliant knowing that no-one is
ever going to ask me anything at all about
farm animals. Apart from chickens. The
world and his wife are signing up for exbattery hens right now. I am fast becoming
my practice specialist, just because I have
some vague knowledge gained from an overkeen revision of parasites for finals – I spent
waaay too long on Dermanyssus gallinae for
anyone’s good. I am such a wow at a dinner
party.
Dear reader, this column is my last so I’d
better sign off now. I have made my fledgling
journey and now must go get on with actual
vetting. I wish you well in whatever stage
you’re at and seriously, this is the toughest
course in the world but take heart! It IS
achievable, you WILL finish and then God
help us, you’ll probably be unleashed and
feel precisely as unprepared as I am. I answer
emails if you need advice - libbyk-t@cantab.
net.
LOVE IN THE BUBBLE
A light-hearted column about love and
life from our enigmatic sex columnist
In this, the fifth instalment, things finally
get frisky
I like to watch people. Not in the curtain
twitching, binoculars-wielding sense, but
in a more, er, people-friendly way. I like
to observe the way we behave around the
people we like and the people we don’t - the
way we smile, laugh, look differently when
we’re around people we’d like to, well…
to what exactly? Go to bed with? Fall in
love with? The way we behave around the
objects of our affection can have disastrous
consequences…
Consider the scene. A Saturday afternoon
in January. You’ve got that form of universityinduced amnesia, where you’ve forgotten
how uncool and inexperienced you are.
You find yourself, somehow, taking the lead
in a situation involving a boy who went
to your old school who’s come down to visit
you for a weekend (all the way from Durham
I hasten to add). He likes your friends and
they like him. He’s a lingering hugger, just that
second too long, and he laughs in all the
right places. He’s got a reputation for leading
girls on but you forget that because you’re
dressed as a strawberry for a bop and you
think you’re looking pretty fly, thank you
very much. You catch a stolen second in
your room with him. You embark on a
journey of sexual discovery, but you find,
like a Land Rover Discovery, you have rather
over-egged the pudding and, instead of the
lip-locking you intended, you’re left with a
damaged ego and the question ‘what ARE
you doing?’ ringing in your ears… the moral
of the story? Six o’clock in the evening is not a
time to be confused with Sex o’clock at
night.
Consider this second scene. You may well
remember the tale a few weeks back about
my boyfriend’s immortal words in bed for
the first time. Well, when we finally managed
to work out what we were meant to be doing,
things got messy. At school, they roll out
the PSHE supplies one fateful afternoon in
Year 10 and, stifling laughter, you ply a kitemarked condom onto a rubber dildo (or,
if like me, you went to a comprehensive,
a banana). I don’t know about you, but I
think a penis is actually very different to
a banana. So, I left school with 9 GCSEs,
4 A Levels and a serious lack of sexual
aptitude. Somehow, only a few months later,
I found myself straddling a strapping lad
who looked slightly terrified, but, unlike like
my Durham disaster, also mildly aroused.
I, assuming the role which was more
dominatrix than domesticized house pet/
girl, told him to make up his mind and that
he wasn’t to mess me around. Feeling like one
of those modern go-getting women (pretty
damn smug) imagine my surprise when he
pulls me back into his arms and kisses me,
passionately. For some couples, moving up
the ‘sex scale’, as it were, takes time. For us?
Just a week.
I like to think of that first kiss as my
own role in a romantic comedy, the one
I’ve been rehearsing for my whole life
(no pressure). Now I read the signals
in that situation wrongly – I thought
because I was taking charge of the situation
I could control the outcome. I never
thought he’d pull me back towards him, and
this taught me that you can never predict the
outcome of your own actions if they’re not
part of who you really are. Just like a friend
of mine once got off with the college
bar sign, it pays to think before you let
loose. I’ve found myself in some
awkward situations in my time simply
because I haven’t thought about the
repercussions my actions could have.
Don’t worry I’m not going all Milton on
you (geeky English joke, soz), but to
rectify that last statement and to end this
week’s foray, here is some poorly timed
nakedness…
Anyone in Cambridge will understand
the nightmare of laundry. It often becomes
a two day affair, but when the thought
of re-wearing underwear is just too
much to bear, we’ve all been tempted to
do it like our military friends. Well, I took
this to the next extreme – I decided to walk
down the corridor wearing no underwear
because, well, none was clean. How was
I to know my fashionphilic friend would
apparate out of nowhere? “Oh I love your
skirt”, she crows, while lifting it up to get a
closer look…
|21
The
MUSIC
CambridgeStudent
Thursday, October 27th, 2011
Want to get involved in Music?
Email music@tcs.cam.ac.uk
REVIEWS
CLASSIC ALBUM
MASToDoN
U2
THE HUNTEr
ACHTUNG BABy
(Naive, 2011)
(roadrunner , 2011)
(1991)
Download:
Midnight City
Download:
Blasteroid
M83
HUrry UP, WE’rE
DrEAMING
★★★★★
Upon hearing that synthpop collective M83 would
release a double album to follow up their breakthrough
Saturdays = Youth record, you would be forgiven for
thinking that this record may flop. However, Hurry
Up, We’re Dreaming is quite simply one of the best
albums of the year: luscious instrumentals, immaculate
layering and perfectly crafted melodies are present and
correct throughout. From the attention grabbing, Zola
Jesus-infused opening track, we’re hooked on the sulty
shoegaze sounds. Midnight City stands out as a clear
highlight (even without the saxophone solo that seems to
be a cornerstone of any 2011 track), while showstopper
Wait strips things down to the bare minimum before
exploding right at the end, a shower of impassioned
drumming, screams and string parts. M83 take retro (and
borderline cheesy) elements from tracks of yesteryear
and collates them into something that can stun us into
submission whether it’s the Phil Collins-tastic synth
pads or the slap bass in Claudia Lewis. Gonzalez still
has a love of bizarre spoken word tracks, and RaconteMoi Une Histoire (A Tale of a Magic Frog) won’t last
long in the memory, but this is a true masterpiece from
start to finish. Patrick Kane
★★★★★
Mastodon are one of those bands that have never got
quite as big as they deserve to be. In their case, though,
it’s easy to see why: they play Progressive Heavy Metal,
which obviously limits their potential fanbase. The
Hunter, though, should bring their music to people who
aren’t metal fans. Despite opening the album with what is
probably its rawest song, the slightly Black Metal-y Black
Tongue, it’s easily their most accessible album yet, a feat
it achieves by abandoning the grandiose concepts and
technicality of old in favour of rocking the fuck out in
surprisingly melodic fashion. A number of songs, notably
the confusingly-titled Octopus has no Friends and chillout track Creature Lives, are incredibly touching, whilst
other songs blend melody and the sort of aggression one
expects from metal in unexpected ways (Spectrelight), and
still others play around with choppy, jazzy time signatures
(Bedazzled Fingernails). Don’t let the fact that Mastodon
are a ‘metal’ band put you off: there’s a lot more going
on in their music than that tag might suggest, making
them sound more like the lovechild of Pink Floyd, Black
Sabbath, and early grunge. Once you hear it, you’ll
wonder why you were ever allowed to miss this band
before. Thom Kirkwood
How time changes people: four Irish lads, who in 1987
were trying to show the world how rootsy and American
they were, turned to Europe and postmodernism. It’s all
different: weird distortion opens Zoo Station, and One dares
to question the idea that the answer to all world problems
is some nebulous sense of oneness. Bono sings of how
“we’re one, but we’re not the same”, and how sometimes
all that results from unity is hurt. Who’s Gonna Ride Your
Wild Horses? is a genuine anthem, full of power; Mysterious
Ways and So Cruel are as good as songs of yearning as all
the With or Without Yous you could want; and the clubby
guitar fills in Until the End of the World elevate it to
something far better than it should be. And, of course, the
centrepiece, The Fly. Bono owns the lyric, full of riddles,
a game rather than a song. “Every artist is a cannibal, every
poet is a thief/All kill their inspiration and sing about
their grief”. And the line “They say the sun is sometimes
eclipsed by the moon/you know I don’t see you when
she walks in the room” is the final nail in the coffin for
Oneness: you may pretend to be united with your partner,
but really you just want to have it off with that oh-soattractive neighbour of yours. Just like Northern Ireland
and - oh, never mind. Frederic Heath-Renn
A Tribute to Bob Dylan
One of Bob Dylan’s many skills
is his innate ability to sum up
concepts and ideas in beautifully
concise little aphorisms. In 1978
he described the sound of his
miraculous Blonde on Blonde
(1966) as “thin… wild mercury”,
which seems pretty accurate:
as you chemists out there will
undoubtedly know, mercury is
the only metal which is liquid
at room temperature. Listening
to BoB you can see exactly why
this description is so apposite:
the music ebbs and flows like
a river of ambrosia, gently
trickling along in Visions of
Johanna, hitting the rocks,
crashing and exploding in the
numerous colourful climaxes of
One Of Us Must Know (Sooner
or Later).
I focus on the music here
because the music enshrining
Dylan’s
imaginative
lyrics
never gets enough attention.
Few ever pause to take in Al
Kooper’s wonderfully subtle,
atmospheric curling organ lines
on Just Like A Woman, or even
Kenney Buttrey’s jazzy, crashing
drumming on Most Likely You
Go Your Way (And I’ll Go Mine).
For although Dylan has never
been maladroitly backed, BoB
was the first time he attempted
such complex arrangements
so successfully. And boy, is it
tightly played – not a single
wasted moment, none of the
warm sloppiness that was all
over Highway 61 Revisited and
many of his later albums. This is
probably largely courtesy of lead
guitarist robbie robertson, a
master of melodic concision. The
band is not a group synonymous
with musical self-indulgence.
Few other artists have covered
such immense ground between
successive albums. In just two
years Dylan had gone from
Agony Aunt and Author
seeks part-time assistant
8-10 hours per week, £10/ hour
in lovely office with view of St. John's College.
Admin experience is desirable.
The ability to work independently and an
enthusiastic, can-do attitude are essential.
For further details email: office@susanquilliam.com
a cryptic, political folkie to
a rock frontman, smashing
conventions and transforming
his own character into something
altogether charismatic, elusive
and therefore fascinating. Dylan
did in two years what the Beatles
did in three: releasing a “trilogy”
of ground-breaking masterpieces
(Bringing It All Back Home,
Highway 61 Revisited and Blonde
on Blonde) that developed even
as it grew increasingly reviled
within the folk community.
BoB stands on its own, though,
meriting exegeses as if it were a
historical event. If not the best
of the trilogy, it certainly is the
densest.
It catches him in what
Jules Winnfield would call a
“transitional period”: while on
Highway he seemed sure of
himself, angry and untouchable,
and on 1967’s John Wesley
Harding confident in his
own apparent doom-laden
prescience, he finds himself here
slightly bewildered, possibly at
his now-immense fame. This
tension is palpable in the music:
not only in the arrangements which, if any tighter, would snap
like an elastic band – but also in
many of the lyrics. Highway and
BoB don’t feature much Biblical
imagery, in stark contrast with
Bringing It All Back Home
or John Wesley Harding. His
flirtations with religion can be
useful in understanding the man
Image: ky_olsen
Arjun Sajip revisits Blonde on Blonde
himself, despite his refusal to
be understood. There is more
proof of tension in the album:
moreover, many of the rhymes
in Sad-Eyed Lady of the Lowlands
appear almost forced, as if he is
unable to fully express himself,
and the irony of being “stuck” in
a place called Mobile is strange
dichotomy that sums up his
frustration. This feeling is not
only sexual (Visions of Johanna,
Absolutely Sweet Marie) but
intellectual and almost physical.
Can he box himself out of the
corner he has painted himself
in? Clearly, with the explosion
of ideas that is BoB. In many
areas, upsetting lyrical themes
are offset by joyous musical
arrangements. The carnivalesque
Rainy Day Women Nos. 12 & 35
is almost a sign of recognition
of his frustration, and his
acknowledgement that it can be
alleviated, even annulled, by the
sheer joy of music.
The drug-addled haziness
of the music on the album is
punctuated only by Dylan’s sharp
harmonica and his withering,
witty putdowns. The album is like
a surrealist painting, arguably
best epitomised in the series
of social vignettes that is the
ravishing Visions of Johanna.
The
Thursday, October 27th, 2011
CambridgeStudent
FILM
Want to get involved in Film & TV?
Email film@tcs.cam.ac.uk
Getting to the heart of the matter
Jess Stewart & Florence Smith Nicholls talk to Eddie Marsan about the upcoming film Junkhearts
What attracted you to the role?
Tinge Krishnan really, the director.
I’d seen her short film that won the
BAFTA, and I thought that she was
extremely talented. I’ve been acting
for so long now that I just decided
that I want to work with talented
people. And that can be someone
with a £2million budget or a
£1million budget. It doesn’t make
any difference to me. I know that
one doesn’t guarantee talent. I just
want to work with good people.
And how did it compare to some
of the bigger budget films you’ve
done, like Sherlock Holmes and V
for Vendetta?
There’s a different rhythm and a
different discipline, and a different
pace to them. But you’re still
working on the same principle,
you’re still trying to achieve the
same goals; essentially, you’re still
trying to create a character that’s
believable and who the story can be
told through. You just have to do it
in different ways. I try to mix them
up a bit. I love to do big movies
then small movies, big movies then
small movies. That’s what I enjoy.
So how did you prepare for the role
of Frank?
Twenty years of learning how to
act, really! I was awful when I first
started and I’m still getting better
now. Plus, Tinge was a doctor,
and she’s also suffered from post
traumatic stress disorder herself. So
most of my research was with the
director; she really helped me to do
it properly, to get into the role.
Do you feel like you’re usually
typecast at all?
What, with the guys who get beaten
up and rape women all the time?
No, I don’t think I do get typecast. I
think I have similar roles that I play
but not when you look at the broad
spectrum of what I’ve done. If you
compare 21 Grams to Junkheart,
there’s such a wide variety. If you
wanted to pick and choose similar
roles that have had a misogynistic
or guys full of rage, I’ll admit there
is a few of them! But that’s not my
fault; people ask me to do them and
I do them.
What was it like working alongside
the rest of the cast?
It was lovely. The relationship that
you see onscreen between Candice
(who plays Lynnette) and I is similar
to the relationship we actually had.
We just clicked; I was like her dad
really. Acting’s a very cooperative
art – you’re only as good as the
person you’re with. So you have to
be helpful and cooperative, and that
breaks down barriers.
Junkhearts will be released
nationwide on the 4th November
Getty Images
So, can you just tell us a little bit
about the film?
Junkheart is the story of an exsoldier called Frank, who served
in Northern London. He’s been
suffering from post traumatic
stress disorder for the last twenty
years, but he doesn’t realise it. He’s
self-medicated with alcohol. Then
when he meets a young homeless
girl called Lynnette, Frank takes
her in, and they form a kind of
father-daughter relationship. But
then things go wrong when her
boyfriend turns up.
Henry Joost &
Ariel Schulman
15
81 mins
A successful horror movie can be a
monster to make. Ultimately, even if
all the film’s components (the dialogue,
the acting, the botox) are of the highest
calibre, it is all in vain if they fail to
★★★★☆
produce what the viewer really came for:
a scare. And of course, fear is subjective. If you find clowns
hilarious no matter what the occasion, It is probably not for
you. However, a psychiatrist’s office probably is. Likewise,
Oren Peli’s 2009 monster hit Paranormal Activity divided its
audience. For those conditioned on the torture porn violence
of the Saw series, it was a dirge devoid of action, but for
everyone else it was a revelation, a throwback to the kind of
psychological horror they don’t make anymore.
Two years on, and following a ho-hum sequel, Paranormal
Activity 3 hits the screens. Serving as a prequel, it follows the
original’s protagonist, Katie, and her sister as children. When
unexplained events start to happen in the household, their
father starts to install cameras around the house to monitor
goings-on. The film stays true to the franchise’s roots by
ensuring the absence of incident can be as terrifying as the
paranormal activity itself, but under the direction of Catfish’s
Ariel Schuman and Henry Joost, the game is slightly changed.
This time, the usual respite from spooky happenings during
the daytime has been taken away, anything can happen at
any time and during the film’s frantic final fifteen minutes,
anything really does. Some of the jumps are slightly cheap, but
with a much more likeable cast than before and some spinetingling set-pieces, it more than makes up for it. Realistically,
the film won’t convert any new fans to the franchise, but it is
undoubtedly superior to its predecessor and gives new legs
to the series. Paranormal Activity 3 is a rare film, a worthy
horror ‘three-quel’ and the fodder for a new stretch of sleepless
nights. Dominic Kelly
Steven Soderbergh
12A
105 mins
★★★☆☆
Soderbergh is a brave man. Any
director who attempts to unite
Hollywood blockbuster with sociopolitical satire is setting themselves
one almighty paradox of a challenge.
Does he pull it off? Not quite. But it’s
not for want of trying.
Contagion is like 28 Days Later but with much more
dignity and a bit of a brain. As a brutal pandemic sweeps over
mankind, never are we treated to the cheap-shot gore of your
stereotypical horror. Instead, Soderbergh spends his time
picturing humanity in crisis: political systems struggle to
cope, drug companies attempt exploitation, and Matt Damon
looks incredibly haggard. Infectious disease takes its toll. Yet
the strongest sense the film gives – and the one that turns your
stomach – is the randomness of it all. The medical researchers
have enough time to race against the clock, the civilised to
descend into an irrational mob, and we half-heartedly to curl
our toes.
So what is the problem? It’s the collision of genres
Soderbergh attempts. The film is dense with Hollywood
stars, some of whom put in admirable performances (Kate
Winslet and Jennifer Ehle spring to mind). Largely, however,
the twinkling cast only serves to remind us that this is a rich
and very glossy film. It seems a little disingenuous, and more
than a little hypocritical, for it then to criticise a financiallyoriented media culture, no?
It’s not that I like hedging my bets, but Contagion makes
the fence look very appealing. When the film itself commits
to two opposed categories, and doesn’t quite pull off either, it
makes it hard for an audience to commit to the film. Taking
this trip to the cinema really won’t require much of your
attention. Though do watch out for Jude Law’s accent. It’s an
absolute corker. Rachel Wilkinson
We Need to Talk About Kevin
Getty Imahes
Contagion
Warner Bros.
Paranormal Activity 3
Paramount Pictures
REVIEWS
Lynne Ramsay
15
110mins
Having a child will inevitably change your
life, but for Eva Khatchadourian, having a
son doomed it. Kevin, an unresponsive
and unpleasant boy, evolves into a
★★★★☆ psychopathic adolescent who goes on a
murderous rampage through his high
school. The question is: was he inherently evil from birth?
Or did the failure of Eva’s maternal instincts have extensive
consequences?
Adapted from Lionel Shriver’s acclaimed novel of the
same name, We Need to Talk About Kevin skilfully captures
the uncanny atmosphere of the original without needing to
approximate its epistolary form. The visual theme of red is
sustained throughout: from an opening sequence with Eva
covered in the flesh of tomatoes in a traditional Spanish event
to the seemingly omnipresence of synthetic red materials,
ketchup and jam. Clearly the colour association needs no
explanation. Director Lynne Ramsay weaves the fragments of
Eva’s unsettling mosaic of memories together into a coherent
and artfully rendered whole.
Tilda Swinton is Kevin’s affectionately challenged mother,
her pale face a mask with dark, impenetrable eyes, coupled
with her nice but limited husband Franklin (John C. Reilly).
The casting of their arrow-wielding son was also right on target.
Ezra Miller’s predatorily glinting eyes and twisted mouth
mock you from the screen, whilst his younger counterpart
played by Jasper Newell gives a similarly intense performance.
Ultimately, it is the scenes between mother and son which are
the most effective. From a completely detached standpoint,
this is a cinematic treat. In terms of subject matter, it may
be hard to swallow. This is certainly an emotive story that
challenges the generally perceived intrinsic nature of family
values. Rather like an irritating child, this film is unsettling,
but deserves your attention. Florence Smith Nicholls
Film
|23
The
CambridgeStudent
THEATRE
Want to get involved in Theatre?
Email theatre@tcs.cam.ac.uk
The Real Thing
The performance did start off
promisingly. With a snap of greenish light, the small stage area of the
Corpus Playroom was illuminated
to reveal a man blasting laboured
puns and acerbic witticisms at his
flustered, angry wife. The dialogue
of this ‘play within a play’ was stilted
yet funny, the two actors convincing
in their rendering of an awkward
melodrama. These first few minutes were pitched just right, and the
scenes that followed, although not
as polished, were enjoyable to watch.
Henry, the gentle, thoughtful playwright, was well portrayed by Robin
Morton. The sexual chemistry between himself and his mistress, the
way to a disappointing end at the Playroom this week
lectual middle classes were thwarted by the lack of creativity and any
sense of wealth in the stage design.
And then, the tedious second
act. This is where The Real Thing
gets a little more challenging. The
audience has to sit through several
speeches on romance or the work
of wordsmiths, chiefly delivered by
Henry. Morton did his best with
the lines, but didn’t manage to keep
each speech fresh. Henry’s whining eloquence became irritating; it’s
never a good thing when lines such
as “it’s half as long as Das Kapital
and only twice as funny” or “it’s like
being run over very slowly” have
you thinking exactly the same thing
about the production you’re watching. Unfortunately, by the end it was
very difficult to care about anything
Stoppard or his characters had to
say. A greater sensitivity to aesthetic
and less monotonous droning during all those emotional, meaningful
conversations would have made it
much more bearable, and done justice to a more impressive first half.
The Real Thing runs until
Saturday 29th October
Antigone
The Real Thing
N
flirtatious thespian Annie (Jenny
Scudamore), was entirely credible.
The best scene of the entire performance was between these two lovers: refreshing, scintillating silence
as they affectionately teased each
other. Stephen Bermingham’s Max
had an impressive presence that was
missed in the second act, and Hattie Lloyd’s Charlotte possessed an
air of practicality which contrasted
well with Scudamore’s flamboyance.
The problems really started creeping in half-way through the first
act. For all that the actors played
their individual roles convincingly,
there was little sense of ensemble
cohesion. A forgivable openingnight splutter, perhaps, had it not
lasted as long as it did. Interaction between Henry and Charlotte,
and Annie and Max, the original
couples and old friends, was stiff
and far too formal to give the impression of proper acquaintance.
Another issue was the set. Henry’s
living room, the setting almost entirely throughout, had shabby chairs,
a bookcase with about ten books
slumping on the shelves, and bare,
white walls. Too many of Stoppard’s
clever metaphors and tongue-incheek familiarities against the intel-
Lizzy Donnelly writes on how a promising start gives
★★☆☆☆
Pembroke Players - Corpus Playroom Mainshow, 7pm
o matter if blurred
metafictional realities
and ‘over-arching story lines’ are not quite
your thing - when it’s
a play by Tom Stoppard, the wonderful dialogue alone should be enough to
keep you entranced. The Real Thing is
replete with heady, overwhelming discussions about the powers of love and
theatre – and how the former is perhaps a creation of the latter. It has been
celebrated as Stoppard’s best work, but
this production, sadly, failed to live up
to such theatrical prowess.
Thursday, October 27th, 2011
ADC Mainshow, 7.45pm
Until Sat 29th Oct
★★★☆☆
John Swarbrooke enjoys the comic notes of Richard Keith’s innovative Antigone
but laments a lack of passion and a ‘bizarre’ costume choice...
Y
ou’ve gotta be crazy,” the
guard tells Creon in Richard Keith’s production of
Antigone, injecting some
much-needed comedy
into this devastating tragedy. In many
ways, this play is all about madness; it
hovers constantly over the play like a
zeppelin threatening to burst at any
moment. Eventually, it does. Mad with
grief, Antigone decides to bury her
brother, disobeying the king Creon’s
decree that his body should be left untouched. Horrified, Creon follows the
letter of law mercilessly, sentencing
Antigone to be buried alive and setting
the tragedy of the play in motion.
ADC
First to enter, the Chorus, played
by Ellie Nunn and Temi Wilkey,
immediately set the tone of Keith’s
production. They embody that word
favoured by English students the
world over: metatheatre. Smiling,
nonchalant, they introduce the play,
mentioning the stage directions
as they go along, and later on
stepping down to join the audience
and speaking in the wings. The
times when they speak to the other
characters feel slightly awkward as
a result – as if two members of the
front row have decided to get in on
the action. The less said about the
bizarre leggings and cowboy boots
they were wearing, though, the better.
24| Theatre
I can’t help but feel that a little
more passion would have gone
a long way in this production.
Antigone, though subtly played
in all her cold stubbornness by
Giulia Galastra, is never really
Alex Gomar is equally
understated: think
more Tory politician
than Theban tyrant
unhinged enough. At one point
in the production Ismene (Lucie
Shorthouse) describes her sister as
“desiccated with grief ”, but this is
never really the Antigone we see.
As Creon, Alex Gomar is equally
understated: think more Tory
politician than Theban tyrant. His
first speech, delivered with plummy
eloquence, makes his decision to
leave Antigone’s brother unburied
sound, disturbingly, like quite a
lovely idea. When he finally loses his
nerve, sentencing Antigone to death,
the effect is therefore shocking. The
impression we get in the scene with
his son, played thoughtfully by
Luka Krsljanin, is one of weakness
rather than arrogance. Sometimes
it seems as though Gomar’s Creon
is just simply too nice to be nasty.
Praise must also go to George
Potts, who doubles as the guard in
the first half of the play and Tiresias,
the blind prophet, in the second.
Stumbling on stage and clumsily
standing to attention, Potts shines
as the cockney guard, reducing the
drama for a moment to a chaotic
pantomime. Yet when he returns
in tragic mode as Tiresias, the
tables have turned, and he stands
silently as Creon makes a mockery
of him. The fact that the parts are
played by the same person makes
the change especially effective.
The production comes into its
own in the final scene and, without
spoiling the ending, the ribbons
and red lighting were the perfect
accompaniment to the tragedy on
stage. Generally speaking, Keith’s
production feels like an unfinished
experiment, but this is not necessarily
a bad thing. What he does with the
Chorus, for instance, is interesting
and challenges their traditional role
in Greek tragedy. In an interview
with The Cambridge Student last
week Keith suggested how he hopes
people “will come along and see
something that they know, and take
away something new”. I can only
speak for myself, but I certainly did.
The
Thursday, October 27th, 2011
CambridgeStudent
THEATRE
Art
Pembroke New Cellars, 7pm palpable tension. The moments
of compelling silence are often
Until Sat 29th Oct
★★★★☆
Art
I
t is a sight that resonates
with the deepest insecurities
of every closet philistine.
A large canvas, its back
facing the audience, is
peered at intently by two men.
Moments pass, and the comic
tension intensifies as the two
expressions slowly change. As
the brooding satisfaction of one
face overflows into a thoughtful
smile, the blank bafflement of
the other builds into slapstick
confusion. Is the audience’s glee
at character Yvan’s hilarious
bewilderment merely scornful
laughter at such a lack of artistic
appreciation? Or does it betray a
secret empathy: we don’t much
understand this ‘white shit’ either?
Either way, Yasmina Reza’s
celebrated play dealing with the
lives and pretensions of three
middle-aged, middle class Parisian
males is without doubt a crowdpleaser, and in Freddie Tapner’s
production we are duly pleased. The
play’s prickly dialogue is skilfully
executed in what is a demanding
production for the three actors,
and the space left within the script
for pauses and expressions is well
exploited, creating moments of dry
comedy as well as powerful and
And the Award
Goes To...
I
n my experience, improvised comedy can be either
extremely entertaining or
unbearably painful. And the
Award Goes To..., the latest
show from the Improvised Comedy Ents team – seen this summer
at the Edinburgh fringe – is neither, but fortunately holds its own.
The show itself is comprised of
around a dozen short sessions or
games which provide the framework around which the actors
perform. Most of these games are
simple concepts, such as Whose
Line Is It Anyway?’s ‘party quirks’
and other classic drama warm-ups.
Because of this, there is a constant
danger of appearing as a snapshot of
a high school drama lesson – thus
the team are reliant on strong performances to make the show work.
For the most part, it did. The
performances were varied with
some falling relatively flat, certain
sketches lasting longer than was
really necessary and others simply
failing to be funny – but there were
also some real gems. Fred Maynard
in particular showed himself to be
more than competent in a variety of roles, from that of a sports
commentator reporting on the
door-opening championship in the
Olympics, to a man slowly turning
into a shoe at a friend’s party. He
was engaging throughout and probably responsible for the majority of
real belly laughs from the audience.
Given how hard it can be to per-
Pembroke New Cellars, 9.30pm
Until Sat 29th Oct
★★★☆☆
form comedy to a small audience,
often not forthcoming when asked
for input, credit should also go to
Dan Addis who, in addition to the
games, took the role of compère
for the evening and dealt suitably
well with the absence of feedback
from an audience that was really
too small to do the show justice.
Whilst it is to be expected to a
certain extent with improvised
comedy, there was a lack of flow
at times, mostly due to what appeared to be a lack of chemistry
between the actors, which did take
away from the humour of certain
scenes. Some also lasted a little
too long whilst others could probably have carried on for longer. A
good call from Michael Conterio
at one point finished a scene about
fishcakes that was beginning to become uncomfortable. At another
point during an improvised story
game, talking behind the scenes
both took away from the performance on stage and from the illusion that everything that was happening was entirely off the cuff.
Whilst unlikely to win any major
awards itself, there’s no doubt that
And the Award Goes To... is an entertaining and well-worked show
with a lot of potential. Despite being a bit of a mixed bag, it remained
on the right side of being funny
and thus is well worth watching.
Nikki Alcock
more telling than the characters’
pithy, bickering exchanges. It
seems that the play’s ‘blank
spaces’ echo the way in which
the white painting, the ‘fourth
character’, silently overlooks the
action, humming with tension.
The set’s sparse design also exploits
the pressure of white blankness;
against bare white walls, the
characters’ weaknesses are thrown
into relief. Rupert Grace clearly
Does the audience’s
glee at Yvan’s hilarious
bewilderment betray
secret empathy: we
don’t much understand
this ‘white shit’ either?
relishes his performance as Marc,
the
sickeningly
complacent
forty-something who exerts an
assured intellectual authority
over his two friends, but whose
position of power is threatened
by Serge’s acquisition of a 200,
000 franc painting. Grace exudes
a wry smugness, but over the
course of the ninety-minute play
his performance begins to feel
one-dimensional; as the friends’
relationships descend into a brutal
power struggle, there is scope
for Marc’s arrogance to be more
cruelly sinister and less detached.
However, the connection between
the three actors is a strong one,
and their reactions to each other
are sometimes acutely believable.
Edward Eustace is convincing as
Serge, the divorced dermatologist
desperate to attain an intellectual
superiority, but who is unable
to embrace his cultured lifestyle
unless it is validated by others.
Eustace’s performance is at its
most effective in his reactions to
the other actors; his expectant gaze
as Marc scrutinises the painting,
and air of submission as he allows
Marc to sacrilegiously take a
felt-tip to it, perfectly conveys
his nauseating subservience.
It is Matthew Clayton, however, who
shines as Yvan, the downtrodden
and
exasperated
stationery
salesman. His comic rants are welltimed and energetically delivered,
and made more hilarious by
their juxtaposition with the
silent tension of Marc and Serge.
There is debate over whether
Art is merely a glib, witty satire
or a significant work whose
profundity is disguised by its
own gloss. Tapner’s production
won’t resolve that debate, but it
certainly captivates and entertains.
Olivia Waddell
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SPORT
Thursday, 27th October, 2011
The
CambridgeStudent
Time to put the brakes on?
Ollie Guest
Deputy Sports Editor
mercialism and sport is a pet hate of
many fans but in motor racing the
issues seem accentuated. In the case
of IndyCar, the completely unnecessary death of a driver highlights once
more that commercial greed can
blind common sense.
So are the same concerns apparent in MotoGP? In the case of Simmoncelli, he had been competing all
season and wasn’t just racing because
of a potential big pay cheque. It was
an awful accident that caused him to
lose his helmet and suffer the subsequent fatal injuries.
It’s worth noting that track authorities were looking to restart the
race before it became apparent how
serious the situation was. This goes to
demonstrate that those in charge will
always want to push on with a race,
even if a rider has been injured.
From the perspective of the fans
who have paid money to see the
competition, perhaps this attitude is
understandable. However, from the
view of the drivers who would then
have to continue with the race in the
knowledge that a fellow competitor
has been injured, the mental pressure
must be incredible.
MotoGP is relatively safe and it
would be unfair to criticise the officials over the terrible but freak death
of Marco Simmoncelli. But since
another motor star has perished
in the space of seven days, investigations will undoubtedly be undertaken as to how to improve the safety
of what will always be a dangerous
sport.
In Formula One, there have been
muted suggestions of using technol-
ogy from jet engines which would
further improve the safety advancements made over the last few years.
Indeed, given that there has not been
a fatality in this branch of motor racing since Senna’s death, it is the longest time in the history of the sport
that there have been no losses.
On the other hand, ideas have been
floated that races should endure a period of artificial rain to make them
more interesting to watch. Such an
action may well improve the spectacle, but surely forcing drivers to hurtle round a soaking track, having to
cope with the backsplash from tyres
reducing their visibility, while constantly in danger of losing control in
tricky handling conditions will only
increase the probability of further accidents.
The events of the past weeks
underline that motor sports will always be a precarious battle between
life and death. All involved are
aware of the risk and know that it is
something that can never be eradicated.
Yet in the case of Wheldon in particular it is important to give at least
some thought to the commercial
powers behind this lucrative profession. We can only hope that the
desperation for more exciting, more
profitable races does not result in any
more tragedies.
been paralysed in a 2005 scrummaging accident. Even more tragic
was the case of Daniel James who
went to Switzerland to commit assisted suicide in 2008 after being
paralysed in a similar incident.
This is an unacceptable price to
pay for any kind of sporting endeavour, let alone one which serves
to hinder the game of rugby. Of
course, these cases are rare. However, the chances of sustaining a
very serious injury are dispropor-
tionately high.
Scrums put an unnatural stress
on the backs and necks of the front
row with which the human body,
however well trained, is not designed to cope. James B. Bourke,
a former doctor at Nottingham
Rugby Club, believes that ‘the consequences of injury are so great that
the continuing risk of injury cannot
be accepted’. He notes too that since
contested scrums were taken out of
Rugby League in Australia no acute
spinal cord injuries have occurred.
Hampson and James represent
the terrible extreme, but far more
common are lesser injuries which
can still be extremely damaging.
Some players are instructed in
good technique and body position,
but many are not. Moreover, good
technique is often hard to put into
practice when the express aim of
your opponent is to put as much
pressure on you as possible.
Clearly, it is neither possible nor
desirable to eliminate all risk in any
sport or activity, especially in an inherently physical game like rugby.
Football players occasionally suffer
heart attacks and even falling of a
bicycle can be fatal. The difference
is that scrummages deliberately
create a situation that makes neck
and back injuries much more likely.
If scrummages continue these injuries will remain a foreseeable and
inevitable part of the game rather
than freak accidents.
Scrummages also waste time,
endlessly collapsing and resetting.
The International Rugby Board has
estimated that almost ten minutes
per game is spent resetting scrums.
Moreover, refereeing a scrum is
incredibly difficult. It is very often
impossible to judge which side is
responsible for its collapse. This either leads to the scrum being reset
or the awarding of a penalty to the
team who may or may not have actually deserved it.
In the 2003 World Cup Final the
England team were repeatedly penalised at the scrum. It was an unfortunate effect of the fact that even
the best referees have little grasp
of what’s going on in a scrum. By
standing on one side they cannot
see what is happening on the other.
Punches can be thrown and insults
exchanged. It is essentially anarchy,
which is definitely not desirable in
contact sport.
Finally, scrums are not competitive. Winning against the head is
rare and feeding the ball crookedly is commonplace. Admittedly, a
good scrum can set up an advantageous platform whilst a bad scrum
can put you on the back foot, but
very seldom does the side with the
put-in not retain the ball.
In this sense, the scrum is simply
a rather contrived way of restarting
play. In the line-out, by contrast,
there is a genuine opportunity for
the side without the throw to steal
possession.
Perhaps this is an argument for
stricter refereeing, but something
needs to change. Bearing the arguments in mind, that change should
be abolition. There are other restarts
(free kicks, penalties, uncontested
scrums) that could replace the
scrum, and in rucks, mauls, lineouts and open play the forwards
would still have plenty to do.
The contested scrum is an iconic
part of rugby union but that alone
should not guarantee its continued
existence, particularly when concerns about safety, refereeing and
competitiveness suggest the sport
would be better off without it.
Touch, Pause...
Henry Vane
Eoin Gardiner
There is no doubt that contested
scrums should be removed from the
game of rugby union. The most important reason for this pertains to
safety: almost every year we hear of
a rugby player becoming paralysed
as result of an injury sustained in
the scrum.
Matt Hampson, formerly of
Leicester and England Under 21s,
now requires ten carers, having
Kaz Galtier
The deaths of MotoGP racer Marco
Simoncelli and British IndyCar driver Dan Wheldon in the space of just a
few days have served as a chastening
reminder of how dangerous motorsport remains despite the advances of
the modern age.
While motor racing is something
that is, by nature, a sport where the
tiniest change can cross the thin line
between life and death, some may
question whether MotoGP and IndyCar should be seeking to implement
new regulations.
Given that our society already appears overrun with health and safety
administration, perhaps some will
take the view that motorsport remains
one way in which people can still experience the ultimate thrill they crave
by pushing themselves to exhilarating limits. The drivers are fully aware
of the dangers of their profession and
so perhaps these disasters are just sad
reality checks that this is simply a
dreadfully risky sport.
However, although it may be true
that to impose too many restrictions
on such an activity would devalue its
purpose, it is disrespectful to the deceased not to consider the matter in
more depth. In particular, it is hard
not to wonder if the commercialisation of such sports is being favoured
over the interests of the stars’ safety.
Wheldon was killed while racing at
a track in Las Vegas that was hosting
its first race for eleven years. Despite
the event taking place on a 1.5 mile
circuit there were 34 cars racing at
the time, a crowded track compared
to the Indianopolis 500 which takes
place on a 2.5 mile circuit and involves 33 cars.
When vehicles race at close to
225mph with just inches between
them it is little wonder that the most
minute of errors can have catastrophic effects. Many may debate the wisdom of heightening the risks further
by cramming so many cars into such
a deadly environment.
Wheldon was killed in a fifteen car
pile-up: fifteen cars in a single accident. Surely a sport that is dependent on drivers trying to stay in the
slipstream of cars as they tear around
a sloping arena is thrilling enough
without the need to overfill the field?
Cynical minds may suggest that the
increase in number of competitors
was a measure taken by the authorities to boost ratings in a sport that has
seen a steady fall in attendance over
the last decade. In particular, IndyCar
has had to react with a clenched jaw
while a continuous stream of drivers
turn to the more lucrative lights of
NASCAR.
Wheldon was competing in the
event because he had been promised a multimillion dollar bonus if
he could pull off the most unlikely of
results by winning the race from last
place on the grid. Randy Bernard, the
IndyCar chief executive, who reportedly knows little about racing, must
have been rubbing his hands in glee
at the thought of such a spectacle. It
is understandable that Bernard has
received due criticism for his poor
handling of Wheldon’s death.
The relationship between com-
The
CambridgeStudent
Thursday, October 27th, 2011
30| Sport
Carew Cashes in on Lax Lincoln Defending
Cambridge
2
Lincoln
0
Brendan Shepherd
David Hardeman
Cambridge United edged past a
battling Lincoln City side on Friday.
The U’s were sitting pretty in 4th on
Friday evening, though Saturday’s
results saw them fall to 5th in the
Blue Square Bet Premier League.
Cambridge had the in-and-out
performance of winger Carew to
thank for the three points – his two
goals were well taken but masked an
otherwise quiet performance from
the winger.
Cambridge were guilty of being lax
in possession early on, and Carew was
lacking with regards to his work rate.
Gash, however, proved again that his
value to the team is in holding the
ball up for people to run off him, and
in the first half this was Cambridge’s
most potent threat.
Indeed, it was one of these runners
that drew a foul from Christophe 20
yards out, midway through the first
half. When Shaw was tripped and
a freekick went to United, Carew
stepped up to bend it round the wall
and into the net.
Although the first half belonged to
Cambridge, Lincoln did threaten in
the form of Nicolau down the left side
and the midfield energy provided by
Power. Naisbitt, however, had little to
do in the Cambridge goal.
The U’s backline did not go without
the odd hairy moment, and Lincoln
found some joy with a number of
raking balls down the left hand side.
Only one ended in a serious threat:
Naisbitt hared out of his area to clear
but saw Smith nip the ball around
him, only for his cross to be cleared.
Jennings’ sending off in midweek
during the 2-2 draw at York
had brought about a defensive
reorganization from Jez George,
and the U’s never looked entirely
comfortable with this change in
personnel.
It was fortunate for Cambridge that
they came up against an attack lacking
in real power. The Imps enjoyed
much of the play in the second half,
but created few chances. Lincoln’s
pressure nearly paid dividends when
O’Keefe’s ball, dinked in from the
right-hand corner of the penalty
area, was met by the unmarked head
of Smith six yards out, only for him
to head wide.
This let off for United prompted a
further defensive shift in the form of
Wylde, a commanding presence at
centre half. However, Wylde could
do nothing to stop a glorious chance
falling to McCallum in the six-yard
box, with the striker blazing over on
the turn. McCallum, in a performance
marred by his histrionics, also saw
a rasping drive tipped onto the post
by United ‘keeper Naisbitt after 72
minutes. It seemed it was not to be
Lincoln’s night.
In stoppage time Dunk got in
behind Imps full-back Sinclair on
the inside left channel, before pulling
the ball back to Carew, who slotted
his shot home to seal another win
for Cambridge and stretch their
unbeaten run at the Abbey to seven
matches.
The U’s play their first FA Cup
draw away against Hayes & Yeading,
a side currently sitting 15 places
below Cambridge in the league, on
Saturday. The next home game will
be against Luton Town on November
19th.
© 2011 Accenture
All rights reserved.
Venue: Hotel Felix Date: Thursday 17th November Time: 7pm
An evening at Hotel Felix with Accenture.
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You can learn a lot about Accenture on
our website, on our Facebook fan page, our
YouTube Channel, Twitter and also from your
Careers Service. But nothing beats getting
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already doing it. We are hosting a dinner
at Hotel Felix where you can satisfy your
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get to meet recent grads, managers and
recruiters on a more personal level – people
you could be working with or mentored by –
and ask what it takes to succeed in a global
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College Football: Division
one weekend round-up
After a disappointing result on the
opening weekend, Selwyn were
keen to bounce back and prove
their worth against Caius. Selwyn
dominated the first half, with
Hawes and Gregson winning balls
in the midfield.
The link-up play with Vernon
and Wilson-Haffenden on the
wings was effective and minutes
from half time Hutton managed to
put Selwyn ahead by nodding in a
free kick delivery from Gregson.
A shaky start to the second half
resulted in a spell of pressure from
the Caius forwards. Though the
back four initially held firm, the
ball scraped over the line for an
equaliser.
The Selwyn midfielders seized
the initiative and strung together
a few crisp passing manoeuvres
that enabled Hutton to run clear
through into the Caius penalty
area and slot the ball into the near
corner for his second. Just minutes
later a Gregson throw-in bounced
awkwardly on its way into the six
yard box, where the goalkeeper
helped it on its way in.
At 3-1 ahead, Hutton showed
great strength to beat Caius’ last
man before rifling the ball home
into the top left corner, completing
his hat trick. With 3 minutes left
to play, Caius then took advantage
of a miscommunication between
keeper and defence to grab a late
goal. The final score was 4-2 to
Selwyn.
Matt Parry
Emma were beaten 3-1 by Christ’s.
Going one up before half time,
Christ’s then got a second straight
from the second half kick-off.
Emma fought back and James
Douglas scored a penalty as Freddie Highmore was taken down
in the penalty area. Emma then
played some sublime football for
20 minutes but seemed unable to
carve out any chances, and Christ’s
eventually stuck another one past
them against the run of play. Impressive play came from Tom Wills
as a solid Emma centre back and
Jonny Parsons.
Tom Fryer
Homerton deafeated Jesus with a
1-0 victory. A defensive error from
Jesus allowed Homerton to score
late in the first half , but up untill
that point it had been fairly onesided, with Homerton comfortably
in control.
Jesus dominated play in the 2nd
half and the game really opened up
as Homerton hit back on the counter attack. Alex Azizi had a shot but
hit the far post direct from a corner for Jesus. The last ten minutes
were tense as Jesus piled forward
but failed to convert chances and
finished the game a goal down.
Justin Maini
Fitz held Trinity to a 2-2 draw. The
first thirty minutes featured multiple chances for both teams but poor
finishing meant that neither ‘keeper
was forced to make any spectacular
saves.
Pacey Trinity forward Gammill was a constant threat and well
worked passing between him and
Lesourd gave Gammall the space to
beat the offside trap and swing in a
cross, right onto the head of Scott
to score his first goal for Trinity.
Fitz were unable to find a breakthrough from open play, until a
corner on the stroke of half-time
floated directly into the far corner,
bringing Fitz level at the break.
Trinity remained resilient in the
second-half and it looked like they
might have earned a victory when
a quick break from Gammill won
Trinity a penalty that the front man
himself tucked away.
The game eventually ended in a
2-2 draw after Dummett capitalised
on a flick on to finish smartly
Matt Cole & Simon Court
The hard fought match between
Trinity Hall and Downing was unfortunately abandoned at 0-0 after
a serious injury to the Downing
striker at 60 minutes.
The
Thursday, October 27th, 2011
CambridgeStudent
Cambridge 2nd XI finish off Peterborough
Cambridge
4
Peterborough
0
Ellie Marsh
Early on Saturday the Women’s
Hockey 2nd XI embarked on their
first coach journey to Peterborough.
With only one walkover win this
season, City of Peterborough 2nd
XI were looking like the weaker
side heading into the match.
Cambridge started the game
strongly and within the first 5
minutes had converted a well
rehearsed short corner, with a
deflection off Ellie Marsh’s stick
from a great strike in by Siobhan
Henderson.
The Cambridge girls continued to
dominate possession and by the end
of the first half Laura Grossick had
sneaked another goal in from open
play. Towards the end of the second
half the play was starting to become
slightly scrappy, with Cambridge
loosing possession regularly.
The Peterborough forwards were
playing very high up the pitch,
making it hard to man mark, so half
time brought a timely discussion of
tactics.
The
second
half saw a
quick shuffle of
p o s it i on s ,
with
Therese
de
Souza
controlling the centre brilliantly.
The ball was switched to the right
where Holly Peters made some
excellent lead runs into space,
backed up by right half and inner.
Dropping their press back by
ten yards proved effective for
Cambridge in obstructing large
hit outs and high forwards. Some
drama flared when Ellen Nuttal
Messen was given a green card for
what appeared to be a great tackle.
However, it was followed soon after
by a green card for the opposition,
indicating that it might have been a
case of over-zealous refereeing.
Rachael Smith had a blinder of
a match, doing a textbook post up
from the left corner of the pitch then
peeling out to feed the forwards.
Women’s Basketball Blues
Jumpstart Season
Cambridge 81
Northampton 52
Athena Tan
The Cambridge Women’s
Basketball Team played their first
game of the season against the
University of Northampton.
Setting off to an explosive start
with Athena Tan putting in the
first points of the game, Cambridge
quickly asserted themselves,
pulling into an easy double digit
lead. However, Northampton
responded with aggressive drives,
stalling Cambridge’s initial flow.
The first half was marked by a
frenetic back and forth between
the teams as both attempted to set
the pace of the game. Although
Cambridge continued to put in
steady baskets, notably from centre
Katerina Glyniadaki, numerous
contentious fouls were called on
them, enabling Northampton to
slowly catch up.
By the end of the first half,
Cambridge only maintained a slim
four point lead. However the third
quarter saw a quick turn-around as
Catherine Nezich injected a much
needed spark into the play, going
on a double digit scoring streak.
The foul situation was also
abruptly reversed as Cambridge’s
play became smoother and faster,
and the team put in easy points
at the line. Riding on this wave,
centres Natalie Loh, Caroline
Walerud and Malika Cantor began
taking advantage of the disoriented
Northampton defence, dominating
the play.
To counter the violent
Northampton play, the Cambridge
team also switched to a more
conservative defence, effectively
shutting down the few scorers
on the Northampton team with
simple teamwork.
Guard Sara Merino valiantly
moved into the post as two of the
Cambridge posts were unfairly
fouled out. Point guard Navarro
demonstrated her speed with
her lightning fast breaks and
well-timed drives, and Walerud
continued to put in points at the
free throw line, underbasket and
the three point line - damaging the
Northampton morale.
Wings Hilary Costello,
Ritika Sood and Femke Jansen
also contributed with muchneeded steadiness outside the
key, exploiting the holes in the
Northampton defence. Despite a
rowdy crowd, myopic refereeing
and at some points ugly game play,
Cambridge ended the game with a
decisive victory of 81-52.
The Blues next match will be
home at Cherry Hinton, against
Coventry University on November
2nd.
This was rewarded by a goal shortly
after, bringing the score to an
impressive 3-0 for Cambridge.
Apparently not satisfied with
such a comfortable win, the
Cambridge girls made another
push. Clinical play in the D from
the forwards meant that Henderson
sealed the deal with a goal from
a well executed short corner. The
opposition appeared slightly baffled
at how they had ended up with a 4
-0 loss, but Cambridge were clearly
the better side on the day
This sees the Women’s 2nd X1
continue their unbeaten streak.
Man of the match went to Therese
de Souza, who had a fantastic game,
with Smith and Marsh the runners
Sport |31
Classy Cambridge Blues secure win
Cambridge
3
St Albans
1
Ollie Guest
Deputy Sports Editor
The Men’s Hockey 1st XI continued
their promising start to the season
with a 3-1 victory over St Albans on
Saturday. From the off Cambridge
looked sharper than St Albans,
moving the ball nicely with some
quick passing. But the Blues had
goalkeeper Morrison to thank for
keeping the scores level after St Albans’ Mills burst through on goal.
This prompted Cambridge to up
their tempo. Due to some good
chasing down, Cambridge won
possession in St Albans’ territory
and after an initial deflection from
Kennedy, Salvesen slotted his shot
between the ‘keeper’s legs to give
the Blues the lead.
There was a controversial moment as St Albans thought they
had equalised courtesy of Vijh’s deflected effort. However, the ball was
rightly adjudged not to have moved
the full five yards from a free hit
within the twenty five marker before it was fired into the D.
Just before half time, Kennedy
broke away with the ball, carrying
it from the half way line and slipping in Benett with an excellent
pass. Benett finished the move well,
burying the ball in the bottom right
to give Cambridge a 2-0 lead.
Unsurprisingly Albans came
bursting out of the blocks in the
second half, attempting to exert
pressure on Cambridge from the
off. A good piece of tackling back
from Carins made sure the score
line remained the same as St Albans
threatened to show a more clinical
touch in front of goal.
Yet it was the Blues who scored
again courtesy of Kennedy, who
struck home with a poacher’s finish. Albans had not been without
their chances but Cambridge were
showing a more ruthless instinct,
their superior fitness and desire
giving them the edge.
Albans were presented with a
chance to mount some pressure
after Grimshaw received a yellow
card. But even with an extra player
the visitors seemed to lack the necessary composure to make the most
of their chances.
As the clock ticked down St Albans continued to put the effort in
but they seemed to lack any real belief that this was going to be their
day. They continued to push to
the end and eventually got a goal
they’d probably deserved, Williams
smashing a volley into the top right
corner.
But the contest was over and the
Blues deservedly took the three
points in a game where they had
displayed good passing and movement.
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CambridgeStudent
SPORT
Thursday, October 27th, 2011
Disappointment for Ladies’ Rugby Blues
Cambridge
0
Nottingham 56
Keno Omu
David Jones
The Cambridge ladies travelled to
Nottingham University for their
first away BUCS match of the
season, and their third match in
eight days.
Academic commitments and a
handful of injuries to key players
meant that Cambridge were forced
to field a very inexperienced side,
with only two returning Blues and
3 girls playing in their first every
rugby match.
From the start, Nottingham proved
to be a physical, organised, and
well drilled team. For the first 15
minutes of the match their powerful ball carriers cut the Cambridge
defence to pieces, inevitably breaking the first, second, and sometimes
even third tackle, resulting in 4 tries
in quick succession. This was obviously going to be a steep learning
curve for the squad’s newest players.
During this period Cambridge
seemed shell shocked and behind
the pace of the game. They were
slow up in defence, too high into
contact, and meek at the breakdown.
However, realising that they would
be blown completely off the pitch if
they didn’t increase their intensity,
the experienced members of the
team began to galvanise the entire
squad.
The defensive line began to move
up more quickly, tackles started
coming in low and hard, the breakdown became more competitive,
and Cambridge managed to hold
on to possession for a significant
amount of time.
Although Nottingham managed to
score three more well worked tries,
as the half came to a close Cambridge threatened the Nottingham
line for the first time with a period
of strong ball carrying by their forwards, before the ball was spun out
to the backs.
The score at half-time was 41 - 0.
In the second half, Cambridge built
upon the platform that they had established at the end of the first half.
The first 20 minutes of the half was
an arm wrestle in the middle of the
pitch between two evenly matched
sides.
The Cambridge defensive line
worked efficiently to shut down on-
coming Nottingham attacks, while
a number of incisive runs from the
Cambridge backs were only stopped
by some scrambling defence from
Nottingham.
As the half wore on, fatigue started
to set in, and Cambridge once again
started to miss tackles. Phenomenal
defensive work by Jenny Hawkin
stopped a number of breakaways by
the Nottingham centres. However
Nottingham eventually finished the
match with three more tries.
While the magnitude of the defeat
will be of some concern, the Cambridge ladies can take heart from
the way that they worked themselves back into the game. Their
second half performance, against a
larger and more experienced team,
was outstanding, and the leadership that was shown on the pitch in
the absence of a lot of experienced
players was commendable.
Men’s Tennis Blues crush Leicester
Cambridge
12
Leicester
0
Cameron Johnston
After a solid opening performance,
drawing 6-6 against Nottingham
University Men’s 1sts, the Cambridge
Men’s Blues were out to get a win
under their belt against Leicester, and
establish themselves high up in the
BUCS Midland 1A group.
Beginning with doubles, the
Cambridge number one pair,
Cameron Johnston and Constantine
Markides, got off to a flying start.
After stamping their authority on
their opening service games, they
were able to take advantage of their
opponents’ weak lefty serves to break
twice and wrap up the first set, 6-2.
In the second set, both players
loosened up, Markides tormented his
opponents with wicked cross-court
passing shots and Johnston finally
began to time his backhand.
In the course of losing just one game,
the pair cruised to victory, 6-2, 6-1 in
just under an hour.
Meanwhile on court two, the
Cambridge second pair, Sam
Ashcroft (Magdalene) and Jamie
Muirhead (Fitzwilliam), thrashed
their opponents 6-0 in the first set
with a combination of consistent
serving and volleying.
Ashcroft’s trademark nonchalance
notwithstanding, they continued to
look sharp and sealed victory 6-0 6-1.
This gave Cambridge a well-deserved
four point lead.
Cameron Johnston then took to the
court intent on snuffing out hopes of
a Leicester recovery. Despite throwing
away his opening service game with
some wild serving, his experience
gradually began to work to his
advantage as he bossed his opponent
around with stinging forehands.
The Leicester player now went for
broke, slapping his forehand at every
opportunity but the Cambridge
captain stood firm and harried his
opponent until the end, sealing a
6-2, 6-0 victory in just over forty
minutes.
Constantine Markides, playing at
number two, was ready to continue
his good start to his Cambridge
tennis career, and with two early
breaks served out to take the opening
set 6-2.
The second set witnessed a better
display of shots, with Markides using
his serve and forehand to dominate,
dropping just three points and
storming to a convincing 6-2, 6-0
win.
Jamie Muirhead made his debut for
the Blues at number three. Seizing
every opportunity to run around
his forehand in order to hit his more
fluid backhand, Muirhead kept his
composure well in the first set against
an enigmatic opponent who would
look bored and disinterested one
point, only to paint the line the next.
The first set was his, 6-3, and in
the second, he persevered with the
unusual but effective tactic of chipcharging off a slice forehand return.
As the light began to fade behind
the Peterborough dome, he broke
twice to make a perfect start to his
Cambridge career.
Another Blues debutant, Sam
Ashcroft, hoping to preserve his
unbeaten BUCS record intact, came
out firing on all cylinders. He drove
his opponent crazy, using all angles
of the court to take an emphatic 6-1
first set win.
His
opponent
becoming
progressively more dishevelled
from chasing around the court, the
Magdalene Medic barely had to wipe
away a drop of sweat as he continued
to command play from the centre
of the court. He settled some early
nerves to break his opponent twice
for a 6-1, 6-1 win.
A well-rounded team performance
propels the Blues into the upper half
of the table and bodes well for their
forthcoming match against Coventry,
who are currently sitting at the top of
the Midlands 1A BUCS League.