Road Trip - First Baptist Church of Glenarden
Transcription
Road Trip - First Baptist Church of Glenarden
Grace First Baptist Church of Glenarden Women’s Ministry Volume 10, Issue 1 Spring 2014 Magazine By Women for Women the Breaking Chains of Food ESSENCE OF ETIQUETTE Road Trip: ARE YOU THERE YET? YOUR ROAD TO DESTINY DIRECTOR, FAMILY LIFE MINISTRIES DEPARTMENT & WOMEN’S MINISTRY GROUP: First Lady Trina Jenkins EDITORIAL DIRECTOR: Nicole Irby Grace Magazine ADMINISTRATOR: Roxanne Fails DEPARTMENT WRITERS: Chaé Carriere, Mary Davisson, Norma L. Day-Vines, Aisha Hilliard, Barbara Holt Streeter, Judy Mitchell, Connie Pulliam, Taunya Sills, Michelle Singletary, Cathy E. Smith, Mildred Stokes, Ceol Tilghman and Mia Waldron CONTRIBUTING WRITERS: Shena Anderson, Felicia Johnson, Michelle Singletary and Kenya Ulmer LEAD COPY EDITOR: Verna Smith COPY EDITORS: Marguerite Brown, Roxanne Fails and Gloria Nelson-Johnson EDITORS: Chaé Carriere, Latrice Davis, Norma Day-Vines, Roxanne Fails, Nicole Irby, Beth Wilkinson and Dionne Windley PROOFREADERS: Roxanne Fails and Nicole Irby PRODUCTION COORDINATOR: Marguerite Brown CREATIVE DIRECTOR: Angela Hendrix Bell GRAPHIC DESIGN: Chaé Carriere and Latisha Ferguson PHOTOGRAPHY: Photography Ministry Contact Grace at Gracemagazine@fbcglenarden.org Ministry Statement: Grace Magazine is a lifestyle Christian women’s publication produced by First Baptist Church of Glenarden’s Women’s Ministry. The magazine features inspiring articles, ministry spotlights and information to empower women in every season of their lives. By Women for Women FEATURES WHAT IS A LIFE COACH?.................................................................. 8 MS. GOODWRENCH ....................................................................... 14 SEEING MYSELF OUTSIDE THE BOX ............................................ 17 DEPARTMENTS FIRST LADY’S TOUCH....................................................................... 2 ADD YOUR MONEY WISELY............................................................. 3 IT’S TEA TIME.................................................................................... 4 YOUTH/YOUNG ADULT..................................................................... 9 ENTREPRENEUR............................................................................. 10 RELATIONSHIPS.............................................................................. 12 ESSENCE OF ETIQUETTE............................................................... 18 DID YOU KNOW?............................................................................. 19 INSPIRATIONAL .............................................................................. 20 PARENTING...................................................................................... 22 HEALTH............................................................................................ 23 TASTY TREATS................................................................................. 24 REFLECTIONS................................................................................. 26 First Lady's Touch Road Trip: ARE YOU THERE YET? Taking a road trip requires proper planning, key essentials and a guide for navigation. Whether it’s a short trip, a long voyage,or an expedition, all travel requires a destination. Our trip needs the right provisions to manage the detours, the twists and turns and even the rough terrain when the sun is shining, dark clouds are looming or the thunder roars. It is my prayer that this issue of Grace Magazine prepares you for what is next on your journey. The journey of life is similar to a road trip filled with peaks, valleys and the occasional unexpected detour. However, we must be equipped to handle the tests and trials through: • PRAYER for DAILY PREVENTIVE MAINTENANCE; • The WORD of GOD for GUIDANCE and NAVIGATION; • PRAISE and WORSHIP for FUEL to stay the course; and • Maintain the FAITH that we will ultimately reach our DESTINY. In this issue, you will read about many dynamic women and their journeys. We have a great piece about avoiding the pitfalls of uncertainty when determining who has the "Right-of-Way" on the road. Meet a modern-day "Ms. Goodwrench," who can change a tire, the oil in her car and is learning to transform a car back to its pre-accident condition. Additionally, you will read about some of our sisters who answered the clarion call to fulfill their purpose while juggling a family and career in our "Tea Time" series. Also in this issue, discover how to help our youth manifest the road to their destiny. Find out why it is important to engage a life coach to help you navigate the changes. In our pages, learn how to make portable, tasty and easy-to-eat snacks for your trip and how to preserve your temple. Our life’s journey can guide us along a straight path, take us on a scenic route or come to the end of the road. For Barbara Holt Streeter, the editorial director of the Grace Magazine Ministry, her season of service within this ministry has come to an end. Barbara will head up a new ministry and is transitioning the leadership of the magazine to Nicole Irby, assistant director of Grace Magazine Ministry. We are grateful for the dedication and commitment Barbara has provided for the past seven years. We embrace the new direction Nicole’s leadership will take us. Remain equipped for the journey! FirstLadyTrinaJenkins 2 ADD YOUR MONEY WISELY Your information is out there. What are you doing to protect it? By Michelle Singletary We have to face the truth: We’ve lost the battle to protect our identities. Once the information from our credit and debit cards has been transmitted, it’s out of our control. The latest highprofile data breaches confirm that we are forever vulnerable. In mid-December, Target said that criminals had forced their way into its computer system and gained access to customer credit and debit card information. Initially, Target said about 40 million shoppers were affected. The retailer disclosed that the personal data for an additional 70 million customers — names, phone numbers and e-mail addresses — had also been stolen. With your personal information, identity thieves can do a lot of financial harm. They can gain access to your bank account, open utility or mobile phone accounts or get medical treatment using your health insurance. I hear a lot of stories about identity theft. A banker once told me that even his information was stolen during a data breach. In that incident, someone was able to get an auto loan with his stolen information. Because the crook paid the loan on time, the victim had a hard time clearing the matter up. In a full-page ad that ran in major newspapers, Gregg Steinhafel, Target’s chairman, noted: “I know this breach has had a real impact on you, creating a great deal of confusion and frustration. I share those feelings. You expect more from us and deserve better.” Now we’ve also learned that luxury retailer Neiman Marcus was hit by hackers. People are asking me if it’s safe to use their credit or debit cards at the stores. Probably safer now, but you’re still vulnerable because the bits and bytes that make up your personal information aren’t in your hands. Do the recent data breaches mean we should stop using plastic? That won’t happen. Even though studies show that people tend to spend more when they use credit and debit, we are a nation addicted to these conveniences. It’s easier to swipe and spend than to save up and use cash. Target has promised customers whose information was compromised that they will not be liable for any fraudulent charges arising from the breach. The company has partnered with Experian to offer one year of free credit monitoring and identity theft insurance to anyone who shopped at Target’s U.S. stores. Yet even with credit monitoring, your information can still be used by identity thieves. The notices you get as part of a monitoring system are after the fact, after something suspicious or fraudulent might have happened. You might catch something early but you can’t totally prevent your information from being used to commit identity theft. Grace Magazine | www.fbcglenarden.org Still, we have to take whatever precautions we can. In the case of Target, go ahead and register. Go to creditmonitoring.target.com before April 23. You will receive an activation code that then must be redeemed by April 30. I thought it was ironic that as part of the registration process, I have to provide my name, e-mail, address and Social Security number, all to verify my identity. Then there is this promise, “the process of sending and receiving your information is encrypted. . . . This technology helps ensure that your credit card and other sensitive information are protected.” Right. But here’s an example of why you need to take steps to protect yourself. I got a call this week from someone claiming he could help insure me against hackers. Since I frequently shop at Target and did so during the period of the data breach, I wondered if the very suspicious call was the result of that incident. The caller tried to get me to divulge personal information. He provided some convoluted explanation about how he got my information. I listened for a bit and then told him that I thought he was trying to scam me and hung up. If you want to file a complaint about identity theft, you can contact the Federal Trade Commission. I’ve become paranoid about my personal information. My husband and I have set up systems where we get continued on page 9 3 The Clarion Call to Destiny By Mary Davisson Typically when people hear the word “calling,” it is generally associated with ministry or in relation to the church. However, in today’s culture, we’ve discovered there is a shift in leadership, especially regarding women. This fluctuation is evident for women inside and outside of the church. God is doing a new thing. Specifically in the church, the body of Christ is witnessing an unprecedented number of ladies who are answering their clarion call to destiny. These chosen women occupy a variety of occupations, while simultaneously working full-time and answering the call to be an entrepreneur and a preacher, teacher, life coach, mentor or counselor. Other ladies responded to the call to lead ministries, facilitate various classes inside the church, teach outside of the church or return to college and pursue higher education with aspirations to start a new business. Have you responded to your clarion call? Grace assembled eight women who know all too well what it means to hear God’s voice to destiny and answer the request. During their transition, God’s call required them to grow, stretch, walk by faith and learn the art of multitasking while wearing a plethora of “hats” in the 21st century church. Debora Barr, 50; Reverend Annie B. Darden, 63; First Lady Rose Godlock, 46; Lynda Griffin, 40+; Jacqueline McCoy, 48; Patricia Padgett, 54; Sundae Padgett, 27; and Evelyn Reynolds, 60. Grace: Share with us your endeavors, vocation, educational accomplishments and at least one ministry involvement. 4 P. Padgett: I’m a senior budget analyst for the U.S. Department of State in Washington, D.C. I am a facilitator for the First Baptist Church of Glenarden’s Women’s Ministry Focus Studies and a member of the Healing Transitions and Bereavement Ministry. Occasionally, I volunteer as a grief support facilitator at the Life Center in Largo Md. in sociology and criminal justice. I have a master's in urban planning and architectural design. I’m a certified paralegal, entrepreneur and the founder of Creative Interior Designs by Lynda, LLC. I’m the facilitator for two FBCG’s Women’s Ministry Focus Studies and a member of the Domestic Violence Ministry. Barr: I’m a commissioned officer in a S. Padgett: I’m the CEO of Israel Seven, uniformed service where I am a senior manager in the federal government. I’m the director and founder of All Things New Ministry. My educational achievements consist of a bachelor’s in geology, master's in aeronautical science and a law degree. Reynolds: I’m a graduate of Washington Bible College, as well as Bowie State University with a master's in teaching. I teach English Language Arts in the Prince George's County Public Schools. and a fashion designer. I graduated from The Art Institute of Philadelphia with an associate’s degree in fashion design and merchandise. In 2012, I became a licensed cosmetologist. Darden: I’m a graduate of the University of Maryland with a degree in management. I recently received a graduate-level certificate of theological studies from Bethel Seminary. I’m the director of the Ministry Support Department at FBCG, where I am also a staff minister. I’m a team member of the Jessup Maryland Correctional Institute for Women (MCIW), and a facilitator in the Women’s Ministry Focus Studies. McCoy: I graduated with a bachelor’s degree in psychology and a master’s degree in educational leadership. I am a facilitator for both Queen Esther and the Women’s Ministry Focus Studies. I am an educator currently working in the special Griffin: I have a Bachelor of Arts degree education department for Prince George's Godlock: I’m the director of the Women’s and Dance Ministries. I am also the codirector of the Couples Ministry with my husband and a minister in training (MIT). Grace Magazine | By Women for Women | Spring 2014 IT'S TEA TIME County Public Schools. I am a mom of five, grandmother of three and a wife of 24 years to Lawrence McCoy. Grace: Where were you? What were you doing when you heard the clarion call to destiny? How did God reveal it to you? P. Padgett: I heard the call of God in many instances while in prayer, studying the Word of God, as a wife of 31 years, in the course of journaling and during a time of suffering. Recently, as a result of the passing of my husband, Kimothy Padgett, I feel I’ve been called to minister to those who have suffered a great or devastating loss through the death of a loved one. S. Padgett: When I heard the call to destiny, I must admit, I was crying out crying out to God and wondering why things were not going the way I had planned. During this period, God revealed to me that He had given me gifts and talents to be successful. All that I needed to be truly happy was in me. I began to push harder for my dreams, remained focused and pursued them. Godlock: I believe my call to my destiny was heard and discovered during the premarital counseling with Pastor Jenkins in 1992. He asked why I wanted to marry Darryl. I said “so that I could walk alongside him and help him to become all God planned for him to be.” I had no idea what that would entail in the years that would follow. But I was ready for the challenge! Griffin: In 2004, while going through the Living Life on Purpose training book in Sisters in Discipleship Ministry (SID), I heard the call to destiny. On my journey, I discovered that my purpose and platform for ministry was going to be through interior design. While designing or redesigning an individual’s home, I have the opportunity to share the gospel and to encourage others. Barr: When I first arrived here in the metropolitan area, I had already been saved and delivered from nearly 20 years of living as a lesbian and had recently been through a two year healing process with God. While I wanted to leave that part of my life in the past and start over in a new city and a new church where nobody knew my story, God had a different plan for Grace Magazine | www.fbcglenarden.org me. He revealed to me that I was in a safe place and for me to tell my story to Pastor Jenkins and share my personal journals. So, I did. Reynolds: It was just before spring break when MetLife Company contacted me with an assignment offer I immediately agreed to because my pay would double. So, I notified the school’s substitute teacher coordinator that I would be returning to my insurance assignments. Immediately, the Lord let me know that He had called me to teach. I struggled with the call for a minute. But soon after, I submitted to God’s will for my life. Darden: I believe my first knowledge of the call on my life was the day I gave my life to Christ at the age of eight. From that day forward, I was on my journey to fulfilling my destiny. As an adult in my early 20s, I became a Sunday school teacher. During my teaching journey, I was elevated and received a call to ministry of the gospel as an evangelist. Finally, I accepted the call and pursued it. In 1985, after an initial rejection, my call to the ministry was reviewed again and approved. continued on next page 5 wealth of knowledge gained and my experiences. Also, I’ve met and worked for phenomenally great people. And I’m deeply thankful to God for the people He orchestrated to cross my path. The lows of this journey have been the wrong turns I’ve made in life, loss of loved ones and giving up hope and faith too soon. McCoy: In 1996, the Lord called me to preach the gospel. It was difficult for me to imagine myself being called to serve in ministry because I was trying to grasp hold of appreciating being a homemaker versus a career woman. Being unsure that it was God speaking to me about the ministry at the time I fleeced God. Unknown to my husband, I asked God to speak to me through my husband about the ministry. God answered my prayer. As I began to receive invitations to speak and while ministering to other women, my husband confirmed my calling. Godlock: The high of the journey was discovering that I do not have to conform to man’s idea of who I should be as a pastor’s wife. I realized I can be who God created me to be and be my authentic self, thus helping other women discover their authentic selves too. I learned along the way, we often times overlook what God has placed in us because we are too focused on being like someone else or feeling inadequate. Griffin: The high of my journey is that while designing or redesigning a person’s home, I get to help them spiritually as well. The lows of my voyage are when sometimes God tells me “No,” and when navigating the world of the unseen periods in my life. However, I press on because I believe God and trust Him, too. Grace: What has been a high and low point of the journey? P. Padgett: The high was watching God make me what He had already destined; it was well worth the wait. As I look back over my life, I realize the lows were necessary. Sometimes my lows were very low and in some instances they were unbearable to the thought of death … yet God wouldn’t let it be so. I had to remember in my tough times in all these things, I am more than a conqueror through Him who loved me (Romans 8:37). S. Padgett: The highs of my journey have been what I’ve learned, the 6 Grace Magazine | Spring 2014 Barr: One of the highs was the first time I witnessed a woman, whose life was literally saved by my ministry, share her testimony in public for the first time outside of our ministry. Knowing that my life and my obedience to God helped save another person’s life makes all of my pain, embarrassment and heartache worth it! I experience lows when I pour my life and passion for Christ into a person struggling with same-sex attraction and they don’t grab hold of Jesus like I did. It really hurts me to see them return to their old ways. Reynolds: The lows of my journey were that I didn’t have any education credits to transfer after graduating from Washington Bible College and when I was rejected after my admission to the Maryland Resident Teachers Program. Then, after taking continuing education courses, I reapplied only to be rejected again. My high point came when I was advised by WBC to submit all of my transcripts and credentials to the Maryland State Department of Education and ask for an evaluation of my qualifications to become a certified English teacher in Maryland. The valuation was granted. And because of this victory, I was able to go on and receive my certification to teach in Maryland public schools. Darden: The high of my journey is being in a place where God can use my spiritual gifts of preaching and teaching His Word. Another high point is that in 2009, I published a study curriculum entitled, “The Ephesians Woman.” One of the low points was after 32 years of marriage, my husband passed in 2001. McCoy: The lows of my journey have also been the highs of my journey. The very thing that has caused me hurt and heartache has been the very same thing to develop me. During the low times of my journey, God used my pain from those trials as a catalyst to speed me into spiritual maturity and in a deeper relationship with Him. The trials that God allowed me to go through became my teachable moments. on this journey as a pastor’s wife. mentor to hurting and abused women. Griffin: I’m moving forward, trusting and letting go. I’m also looking forward to what’s ahead with my husband of 16 years, Deacon Paul Griffin. Each of us has a contribution to make to others to mature and to find our niché in life. When we do, we always find the perfect training ground for our individual lessons as well. Barr: I am continuing to help others who struggle with unwanted samesex attraction (SSA) to find healing. I provide training for parents and ministry leaders to help them understand and know how to respond to individuals struggling with SSA. In addition to my first published book in 2013, All Things New, I published three workbooks Grace: Where are you now on your voyage? P. Padgett: I am still facilitating various classes and focus studies. I have answered the call to further myself in ministry by studying various ministerial classes. Second, after retiring from government service, I plan to focus entirely on writing and pursuing a degree in counseling. S. Padgett: I manage my business. I’m in the process of opening up a nonprofit organization for young girls, starting a chain of supply stores and so much more. Godlock: God has given me a passion for senior pastors’ wives. I enjoy ministering to women in general, but there is a special place in my heart for other pastors’ wives. I am so blessed to have First Lady Trina Jenkins in my life and I do not know what I would do without her. I know that every pastor’s wife may not have a role model/mentor and I understand first-hand the importance of having someone to walk with you In Scripture, we are given the opportunity to peek inside the lives of various women who answered their clarion call to destiny. I’m sure it wasn’t always easy. Esther answered the call to become queen; Sarah answered the call to birth a son of heritage in her old age; and Deborah answered the call to be the first female judge. Similarly, Rahab answered the call be courageous when she hid the spies; Mary answered the call to become a teenage mother and Elizabeth answered the call to birth John the Baptist, the forerunner of Jesus Christ. Likewise, if you are willing to answer your clarion call and pay the “price,” likewise, the doors will swing open against all odds and you will find the courage and strength to fulfill your destiny as well. Have you answered your “clarion call?” (1) by Gillian Holloway, Ph.D. (Dream Discoveries Newsletter, Spring 1995) http://www.lifetreks.com/cgiscripts/WebPages.asp?page=Articles/ Article02 |G| and a facilitator’s guide for SSA. Reynolds: I’m a teacher. In January 2014, I will have worked for two years as a licensed, contracted English teacher for Prince George's County Public Schools. Darden: I’m a minister, part of a team of women who minister at the MCIW in Jessup. I also teach in FBCG Institutes and I'm a mentor. McCoy: I am a wife, preacher, teacher of the gospel of Jesus Christ and Grace Magazine | www.fbcglenarden.org 7 By Felicia Johnson Everyone has a goal and vision they would like to fulfill in their life. We are pleased when we accomplish things we’ve worked very hard to achieve. However, it takes motivation and encouragement to move us to the next level. We all need someone to be our lead cheerleader to help us find our life's purpose. Although Christ is the center of our lives, He wants us to be connected with people who can help us along our journey. A life coach can assist with making the right decisions to having a balanced lifestyle. “And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works” (Hebrews 10:24). What is a Life Coach? According to LifeCoachSpotter.com, a life coach “helps you get from where you are in your life now, to where you want to go.” Simply put, a life coach is someone who can assist you in moving forward. There are several areas where a life coach may be needed, which may include: Career Growth – When you want to advance your career to the next level, there are life coaches who are able to help you in your decision process to make sure the next job matches what you are looking for. They are able to help you polish your work skills, prep yourself for interviews and make your resume marketable. Relationships – We have certain relationships that we want to strengthen with family, friends, our spouse or even Christ. Life coaches provide advice on the steps you should take to help the relationship grow. Sometimes group therapy sessions are required to open the communication between you and the person in order for the life coach to understand and help resolve the situation. Finance & Budgeting – It is always important to make sure our finances are together. Financial coaches are experts with providing tips for debt, credit, spending, saving, retirement or even saving for college. They can also help you set up a budget plan. Time Management – If your daily schedule is overloaded without any time to organize your tasks, a life coach can help with prioritizing your time wisely to avoid feeling stressed or overwhelmed. Health and Wellness – Taking control of your health is a vital goal in life. A wellness coach can step in to help with motivating you to reach certain goals such as weight loss, exercising, dieting or even examining your mental health. God places special people in our lives who are willing to be a helping hand. Life coaches are considered the extra push when we face high mountains too hard to climb. A simple word of encouragement and prayer for your fellow sister displays a life coach in you. Despite what you’re going through, God showers His blessings among people who motivate each other. “Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 15:58). |G| YOUTH/YOUNG ADULT Are You Destiny's Child? By Aisha N. Hilliard When people hear the term “destiny’s child” they tend to think of the popular singing group, but the truth is each of us are destiny’s child. God created each of us for a particular purpose. He has a specific plan for our lives. Some youth and young adults feel they are too young for God to have a plan for them. They may think that God’s destiny only applies to their parents or other adults. In actuality, you are not too young for God to have a plan for your life. In fact, Psalm 139:16 states “Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all are written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them.” According to this verse, your destiny was determined before you were born. You are unique! God knows you personally and is always with you. Accept the way God made you and do not compare yourself to others. The question often asked is “how do I know my destiny?” Even some adults struggle with this question. To know your destiny you must spend time with prayer and reading His Word. Talk to Him and listen for His response. He will tell you what He wants you to know. Next, think about what excites you. What you are passionate about? What gifts and talents do you have? Do you sing or write poetry? Do you act or play an instrument? Do you like to dance or play a sport? God has equipped you with certain gifts and talents to fulfill your destiny. Matthew 25:15 states “And to one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one, to each according to his own ability; and immediately He went on a journey.” Your gift is not like anyone else’s gift and should be treasured. Use your gifts to glorify God and you are on your way to fulfilling your destiny. God’s plan for your life is good and allows you to look to the future with hope and expectation. Jeremiah 29:11 tells us “for I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28). You were born for greatness! You do not have to be part of the popular crowd or give in to ungodly behaviors that your friends may pressure you to do. If people walk out of your life because you don’t follow the crowd, don’t worry. God will put the right people around you to get you where he wants you to be. Now you can be assured destiny’s child is not just a popular singing group. Destiny’s child is someone who has hope for the future. Destiny’s child is unique and talented. Destiny’s child is you! |G| Add Your Money Wisely continued from page 3 regular text and e-mail alerts connected to our credit cards and bank accounts. I often call my credit card lender to let the company know we’re going on vacation and where. Otherwise, our charges may not go through. give you a future and a hope.” There will be ups and downs along the road of life but don’t get discouraged. Don’t give up when bad things happen. If you don’t make the cheerleading squad or you don’t get accepted to your favorite school, it’s alright. This is all part of God’s plan for your life. Keep praying and trusting God because “we know that all things work together for good Grace Magazine | www.fbcglenarden.org Knowing that your personal information can’t be fully protected, be as vigilant as possible. Be your own privacy cop. Scrutinize your credit and debit card statements. And given the breaches that have happened and will happen, don’t trust until you’ve verified anything and everything anyone says. Reprinted with permission from the Washington Post Writer's Group. It has been noted that the dates referenced in the article have passed.|G| 9 Following Life’s Road Map: Benefits of a Life Coach An Interview with Dr. Celeste Owens By Cathy E. Smith We often use traffic signs as we travel along our own road in life. We take detours, cross bridges and, at times, come to a complete stop. While the Bible serves as our compass, sometimes we need a map to help us navigate through life. Even if you have a map, a personal guide can serve as a great resource to either tell you what to expect on the road that lies ahead or narrate what you will see along the road. Take a journey with Grace, as we talk to Dr. Celeste Owens, a true survivor, and discover how she helps others along life’s road. Grace: What are the key benefits of a life coach? Dr. Owens: A life coach is a professional who “coaches” an individual in all aspects of his/her personal, professional and/ or spiritual life. One of the key benefits of a life coach is that he/she will help you to set concrete goals that are measurable and obtainable. A second benefit is that a life coach helps you in your decision-making. Learning to make good decisions is the key to living your best life. Grace: How do you conduct your coaching sessions? One- on-one, group, online or in person? Dr. Owens: Currently, I only do group coaching in the form of online and in-person workshops. I also coach individuals on how to fast properly. Twice a year, Dr. Celeste Owens Ministries hosts "The 40-Day Surrender Fast." Each round of corporate fasting is called a cycle. Grace: What are some typical reasons your clients request a life coach? Dr. Owens: They are in transition or they will be in transition as soon as they get unstuck. I am a certified natural health professional, so many of my clients come to me for guidance about making wise eating choices. They want to get off the yoyo dieting treadmill and finally “be in [good] health” the way God planned. I offer an online program called "Surrender Your Diet." This program is designed to help the client embrace God’s tailor-made diet for them, so that they can live in optimal health. Grace: If you could offer three key tips for how to know if you need a life coach what would they be? Dr. Owens: 1. You are dissatisfied with your life. You know God has created you for more. 2. You are feeling stuck. A coach will help you take action. 3. You are embarking on a major transition. “Where there 10 Grace Magazine | By Women for Women | Spring 2014 ENTREPRENEUR to our diet, and changing your lifestyle and having a healthy diet goes a long way in improving your health. I am now a vegetarian. Grace: Without revealing anything too personal, what client has reminded you that you enjoy what you do? Dr. Celeste Owens is no counsel, the people fall; But in the multitude of counselors there is safety” (Proverbs 11:14). Grace: Are there any key life lessons or common themes that you have seen with your clients? Dr. Owens: The enemy has used the hurts of the past to keep them distracted. But I’ve witnessed major transformations when my clients have decided to embrace all of them, including all of their history, both good and bad. When they do this, they soar. Grace: What inspired you to become a life coach? Dr. Owens: My aunt died during my early 20s. When I heard the news I remember thinking: 'I wonder did she do what she was put here to do?' Since then, that same question has bombarded my spirit. God has put a strong desire in me to help people fulfill their destinies and life coaching is a platform in which I am able to do just that. Grace: What inspired you to become a certified natural health professional? Dr. Owens: I am a breast cancer survivor. Based upon my experiences as a survivor, I decided to make changes in my eating habits. Many of the diseases that we get can be linked Dr. Owens: One of my clients experienced a natural disaster and suffered a significant loss in the process. As a result, she developed a habit of emotional eating and became overweight. Through life coaching, I was able to help her identify the emotional triggers from which her relationship with food stemmed. We discovered that her primary triggers for excessive eating stemmed from her experience in the natural disaster. We were able to really dig deep and identify deeper issues that tied to her eating habits, such as the anniversary of the natural disaster and certain key events in her life. It was so rewarding to assist her in identifying those triggers, work through her relationship with food and identify the deeper, underlying issues. Grace: What core Bible verse is your personal favorite as it relates to a person’s journey in life? Dr. Owens: “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, Thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope” (Jeremiah 29:11). Grace: How can someone contact you? I may be reached through my website at www.surrenderfast. com or via email: info@drcelesteowens.com. As a result of her service to others, Dr. Owens has gained national recognition, respect and attention for her thoughtprovoking and inspiring presentations. She has appeared on cable television and has been featured in the local and national media. She is also an avid writer. Her first book, “The 40-Day Surrender Fast,” is a devotional designed to help the reader develop a more intimate relationship with God. Dr. Owens holds a Doctorate of Philosophy in counseling psychology from the University of Pittsburgh. |G| Grace Magazine | www.fbcglenarden.org 11 Mentoring - Your Road Map to Success By Taunya Sills Have you ever driven alone at night when your parents or spouse told you not to drive by yourself? Or have you traveled somewhere on your own and got lost? If you get in your car and drive without directions or a map to where you are going, you will make some wrong turns. While you will eventually find your way, you may have to stop and ask for directions from someone who has been there before. Nowadays, we have a global positioning system, better known as a GPS, to help guide us to unfamiliar areas and locations by providing clear directions and a convenient map. This is essentially what mentoring is all about. Mentoring is providing guidance or assistance to someone else based on your own previous experiences. Having a mentor is similar to using a map to help you to see the lay of the land or the big picture. A good mentor is like a seasoned traveler, who has been to many different places and had many interesting experiences, both pleasant and unpleasant. These personal experiences shape their perspective and influence how they view life. On the road to success, a good mentor will help you discover exactly where you are and where you need to go next, as you journey through life. A welltraveled mentor will help you determine what goals you want to achieve and offer advice and encouragement to aid you along the way. Essentially, a mentor will help you navigate the pitfalls that we oftentimes face in life. These pitfalls or dead ends can prevent us from arriving at the destination God has planned for us. These dead-end areas are places we do not want to experience. They are merely 12 a detour on our spiritual journey that takes us out of the will and presence of God. Mentoring is a long-term relationship in which the mentor helps another person reach their God-given potential. Ideally, mentoring relationships last a lifetime, but this does not always have to be the case. A mentor usually has more experience than the mentee and can assist a mentee in various aspects of life such as family and marriage, finances, personal growth and development, spiritually and professionally. In the area of family and marriage, the mentor provides guidance to strengthen family relationships. Marriage mentors are a couple that has walked down the same path as you and your spouse. They do not necessarily have to be your parents, but they must be someone who offers an honest and objective Christian perspective. A family and marriage mentor can help couples understand each other better and successfully deal with problems in order to strengthen their relationship. A marriage mentor can provide scriptural references for situations and issues that you may face. Overcoming those challenges will ultimately bring the mentees closer to God. A financial mentor is someone who offers guidance and advice about finances. This type of mentor must be capable of managing their own money wisely and exhibit responsible stewardship of God’s resources. The relationship with a financial mentor is NOT a professional relationship, as with a financial coach or financial advisor; rather, it is someone who does not charge for his or her services. A financial mentor will not necessarily discuss the details of a budget, but would give general advice on how to spend and save money wisely. This mentor would integrate the biblical teachings of stewardship, charitable giving and financial responsibility to ensure that their mentees use resources to achieve financial success. A good financial mentor is someone to respect, trust and admire for his or her fiscal knowledge. A personal growth mentor guides their mentee through life by encouraging and inspiring them to become a better person. You are not perfect! No matter how hard we try, we will never be without fault. Although perfection is unattainable, we can always strive to be your best selves in order to affect the world in a positive way. We should always aim to become better women, seeking to grow and mature, specifically in relationships with others. With a personal growth mentor, a mentee can identify areas in their life where they may need to stretch and challenge themselves. In order to grow spiritually, we must experience some personal growth as well. A mentor can help navigate the roadblocks that may prevent the mentee from developing. Turning back or refusing to proceed down the road to personal growth is never an option with a mentor who has faith in God and understands the power of prayer. A professional mentor can help set Grace Magazine | By Women for Women | Spring 2014 RELATIONSHIPS circuit the potential of how far you both can travel on the mentor/mentee journey. short and long-term career goals. This mentor does not need to know the exact career or profession that the mentee desires. However, the mentor can help the mentee remain focused on their career goals and give strategies to help achieve them. A professional mentor will offer advice and guidance to help develop and expand their mentee's professional skills and capabilities, as well as recommend effective networking techniques. Most importantly, a good professional mentor will encourage their mentee to continue learning and growing. A professional mentor will not allow their mentee to remain in a lane that is barely moving; instead, they will help the mentee switch gears and get back on the road to success. Spiritual mentoring is a relationship between mentor, mentee and the Holy Spirit. A spiritual mentor is one who creates a hospitable space of trust and intimacy, and is able to discern the already present action of God in the mentee. The spiritual mentor is one who seeks to live a life worthy of emulation, a life of authentic holiness, spiritual maturity, biblical knowledge and wisdom. They are familiar with praying, listening and practicing other spiritual disciplines. The fuel needed in the spiritual mentoring process is attraction, relationship, responsiveness, accountability and empowerment. A spiritual mentee desires growth and maturity. They can also be vulnerable in sharing intimate issues of their life. Spiritual mentees are responsible and respectful to the directives of the mentor and are teachable, faithful and obedient. A spiritual mentee desires to serve God with her life. Respect is the foundation for good mentor/ mentee relationships. An effective mentor must want the best for their mentee and believe that they have the God-given abilities and skills to achieve success. The best mentors are the ones who are not afraid to respectfully pull their mentees to the side when they are heading down the wrong path. A mentee should enjoy the company of their mentor because a strong mentoring relationship requires personal engagement and connection. A mentor can only help when we are willing to really open up about what’s going on in our lives, whether discussing our fears or our dreams. The mentee must trust that this person is capable of giving good, solid advice. If the mentee often questions her judgment, she is not the right mentor. When showing the way through mentoring, a good mentor always remembers her humanity. She is not perfect and is also continuously learning and growing. Some of the best things to share with a mentee are the mistakes made and lessons learned. A generous amount of grace is needed for a fruitful mentoring relationship. If an experienced mentor gets lost, she will admit it and reroute the course. She won’t let pride short- The mentor and mentee should agree on the destination, as well as what a successful journey looks like. What is the goal? How do you know when you’ve arrived? Clearly identify the skills or character traits to be developed. Both parties must stay open to new ideas and ways of doing things, and make the effort to see life through the eyes of the other person. Travel the journey together. Remain open to detours and delays. Mentoring doesn’t always follow the plan that was so carefully laid out. Navigating hurdles and detours is part of the process. These roadblocks may be spiritual, emotional, social, intellectual or simply skill related. Don’t resist or resent these obstacles because God has equipped us with everything we’ll need on this journey. Remember, the journey is as important as the destination. The steps of the journey are just as important as the end result. In some ways, they are even more important. Enjoy each step and make sure to share a heart connection. Mentoring requires quality time, which can result in deep, meaningful and abiding changes in the lives of the mentor and mentee. Laugh often, relate with integrity and thank God for the results, which are a gift from Him.|G| Grace Magazine | www.fbcglenarden.org 13 by Kenya S. Ulmer “As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God … that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ …”(1 Peter 4:10-11). While other young girls were in Barbie’s dream house, dressing her in the latest fashions and combing her hair, eightyear-old Tiffany Fails was living her own dream of putting out fires with her fire truck and creating battles with her action figures. “I never cared for Barbie much,” she recalls. When her cousins and friends came over and wanted to play with dolls, she would play as well, but it was never as much fun as fighting crime. Grace: What did you want to be when you grew up? Tiffany: When I was little, around seven years old, I kept saying I wanted to be a police officer. Then around 10 years old, I switched it to a pediatrician. But then I thought about it and I didn’t want to be a pediatrician because I didn’t like needles. The two wouldn’t be a good mix. Grace: At what age did you start to show interest in cars? Tiffany: Actually, I was jumping all over the place! I wanted to be everything, including a firefighter and an artist. But midway through high school, I began looking at cars and trying to get a feel of what they were. My dad was always saying, “Hey, look at this car.” I’d be so involved. He started showing me more and more cars and I became more and more interested. Why not learn about it, I thought. Then that way I don’t always have to take it to somebody. I could try and fix it if I knew what to do. Most places 14 like mechanical shops and any type of body shop try to take advantage of most women because they figure they don’t know about cars. That’s how the prices go up. And that’s how they get you. Grace: Do you have any funny stories of that kind of thing happening and when you started speaking the mechanic lingo? Tiffany: Recently I did an oil change on my car and I had to get the oil change kit from the auto store. “Can I help you with anything?” the worker asked. “Yes, I’m here for an oil change kit.” “Do you know what size engine you have or do you have to run out and look?” he questioned. “No, it’s a single,” I replied. “Oh. Well, do you know what type of engine it is?” he asked. “It’s a 2.2,” I said confidently. “Wait a minute, did you go to school for this and how do you know so much about the car?” he asked shocked. “Yes, I go to school for this and it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve done an oil change on my car.” The other customers were listening as well. Grace: Were you ever interested in activities that most girls were interested in? Tiffany: No, I found myself more athletic and in my free time I would draw on things, like furniture, and get in trouble. Then on top of that, my dad would buy me fire trucks and action figures, so I found those more fun to play with. Grace Magazine | Spring 2014 Grace: Did your mom protest to that? Tiffany: Yes, she kept saying, “No, you have to play with Barbie, Tiff; you have to play with Barbie!” I would say, “No, fire truck!” Grace: Do you think that it was your dad’s intention to make you interested in cars? Tiffany: No, he knew that I liked drawing and I was drawing all types of stuff, whether it was cars, cartoons or realistic things. So he showed me a car and then he’d paint it a different way— with some type of design or character on the cars. And that was one way for him to talk to me about cars because it had some kind of cool artwork on it. I don’t think those were his intentions, but I just picked up on it. Grace: Do you feel like you were pressured to like or do “girlie” things? Tiffany: I was never pressured about liking action figures or not liking girlie things. Whatever I wanted to do my mom was there and supported everything. At one point I was into soccer, basketball and karate all at the same time. She said, “Ok, wait. We have to cut something out; you’re doing too much. And you’re going to school. We have to eliminate something because I’m driving everywhere.” It was always whatever I wanted to do, and she was always there to support it. I was never pressured or anything. Grace: What exactly do you do now? Grace: Why this route? Tiffany: I’m in a program called Collision, Repair and Refinishing with Custom Paint and Graphics. In other words, it’s mainly auto body work when cars have been in a collision. They come in all dented and dinged up with the bumpers hanging off. I do that type of repair work on the car. Tiffany: I originally went to Cleveland State, a four-year university, and received my degree in civil engineering with a minor in graphic design. I didn’t really like sitting in the classroom talking and listening to different professors for hours. I knew I was more of a hands-on type of person. I wanted to go to a trade school and learn about cars. Grace: How does your dad feel about having a daughter in collision repair? Tiffany: He laughs and asks, “So are you going to fix my truck?” I say, “No, not yet. I haven’t learned it all.” In my opinion, he just needs another truck. Grace: How long is the program at your school? Tiffany: It’s an eighteen-month program at Ohio Technical College. I will get my Automotive Service Excellence (ASE) certificate. That’s what they’re looking for when you want to work in a body shop. Grace: Was that always the plan? Tiffany: At first the plan was always to play basketball. But I’m kind of injury prone. In high school I played soccer in the fall, basketball in the winter and tennis in the spring. But in my senior year, I tore my meniscus. I also injured my knee in high school. I would have played for Cleveland State, but couldn’t participate on the team. To get myself back together again and stay in shape, I played intramural basketball in college. Grace: What was the moment when you said, “This is it; this is what I want to do with my life.”? Ms. Tiffany Fails Tiffany: Well, I was in the Navy last year. As a boatswain mate, I was able to fix boat engines and keep up the maintenance on the ship. I did everything you could possibly think of for the ship, including cleaning, painting, docking the ship to shore, undocking it, tying different lines and ropes. I pretty much did it all and found that to be pretty cool. Then I was medically discharged from the Navy. I said, “Hmmm, I can’t play with the ships right now, so until I can get back in, I want to play with cars.” Grace: What did you do immediately after that revelation? Tiffany: I did a search for which trade schools in Ohio were the best. OTC, the school I’m in now, kept popping up during my search. Grace: What is it about cars and engines that give you a thrill? Tiffany: Probably the auto body side of it. You get to be creative being an auto body technician. I like pulling the dents out, fixing a door or replacing it, filling in missing parts, stripping the car and Grace Magazine | www.fbcglenarden.org 15 putting it right back together. When it’s time to paint, you can be creative with that as well. And since I like art, it fits in with everything. When you see that dent, you want to fix it. It’s like the car has been in a battle and I need to get it to “surgery!” Grace: Do you have any family members that have said you’d better put down that wrench and go learn makeup? you showed up for class on the first day? Tiffany: They were just staring and maybe thinking, “I wonder what she’s here for.” Grace: Did you feel that you had to prove yourself? Tiffany: It doesn’t. I still come to school and everybody helps me out. Grace: What advice would you give to other girls and women who aren’t brave enough to be themselves or feeling family pressure to be something that they’re not? Tiffany: I felt as though I did, because everybody was looking at me like I was crazy. We females can still do anything that we put our minds to. We can do almost anything that males can do. I’m feeling like I’ve been accepted now. Grace: What role does faith play in your life and the career you have chosen? Tiffany: It plays a big part. All cars start out in a safe state until they become damaged. I have to have faith to put it back into pre-accident condition so the customer is safe. I’m pretty much saving another’s life. As a technician, I have to pay attention to every detail. If something goes wrong with the car, it may fall back on me because I was the last one to touch the vehicle. Tiffany: Yes, I do have a few family members that asked, “So why do you want to work on cars? Don’t you want to do something less dirty?” I reply, “No, why would I want to do that?” When their cars needed fixing they would ask if I could fix it. I’d say, “No, I don’t want to get dirty!” Grace: How many other women are in the program? Tiffany: I am the only one in the night class, but there are a few other women in the day class. Grace: So how is it going? Tiffany: It’s cool, but there’s a lot of testosterone in there. Grace: What was the reaction when 16 Grace: Is there a downside to your job? Tiffany: Yes, when people don’t pay attention and I end up getting broken bones. Grace: What happened? Tiffany: I was at school taking off the door of a van. I was taking off the last bolt and I asked my classmate if he had the door. He said he did. I took off the last bolt and the door just fell—right on my foot! I spoke another language when I looked at him and saw he was texting on his phone. Now I’m in a cast for four weeks. When I went back to school he apologized and said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. I didn’t know it was that bad.” Grace: How does this hinder you from taking your classes, if at all? Grace Magazine | Spring 2014 Tiffany: Own up to it for yourself first. Then convince and show everybody else you have what it takes to go beyond what anybody else would expect. If you have to get dirty and play with cars, then go do it. You can’t let anyone else stop you from living your life. In the end, you’re the one that’s going to feel some kind of way because you didn’t do what you wanted to do throughout your life. Tiffany is a very remarkable and accomplished young lady who never second guessed herself when choosing this career path. She was baptized at the First Baptist Church of Glenarden and has been a member since she was about six years old. Tiffany’s proud mom, Roxanne Fails, is currently the administrator for the Grace Magazine Ministry. Tiffany will finish her schooling in November 2014 and plans to own her own shop one day. When I asked her if she had forgiven the classmate who dropped the door on her foot, she didn’t hesitate to say, “Of course. I don’t hold grudges or anything like that. It could have been worse.” Her resilient spirit was proven further when she chose to get her cast in the school colors of red and black. Let’s hear it for the girl! |G| By Shena Anderson Three years ago, my birthday could not compare with any other. I was completely content with myself and the life I was living. My friends surprised me with a trip, my students gave me warm wishes and most importantly – my boyfriend finally looked at me like he did when we began dating. I thought God finally answered my petition for my boyfriend to show me the affection he did when we were intimate. I felt that he was totally attracted to me and that I didn’t have to secretly want to be pregnant for him to adore me and see me as someone worthy because I would be the mother of his child. This lie became the truth that woke me up in the morning and haunted me at night. I allowed myself to become completely absorbed in him. We did not share the same thirst for God, which caused a decline in my personal relationship with God. The more I talked about my love and adoration of God, the more he could not understand me. We became the Tower of Babel. I thank God for delivering me from the ridiculous ideology that he was the root of my value, worth and existence. The truth is that the most insecure people place their own shortcomings on other people. The paradox of it all is that his presumed cockiness was really an insecure manifestation of his need to feel worthy by being the father he never had. Who was I? I couldn’t answer that before today or many years prior. I never knew what it felt like to be comfortable in my own skin. I was one of the African-American girls in a predominantly white Christian school. I felt socially awkward with females because of the guards and idiosyncrasies I adopted from my mother, who didn’t allow me to go outside and play because of her fears. She told me not to let people get close to me because they will indeed fail me, and to never leave the house without makeup. From childhood through adulthood, I viewed myself through the seeds people planted in my mind. Whenever I tried to figure me out, I was embarrassed about what I learned. I was whatever someone planted within me as I allowed their thoughts to overcome what I wanted to feel within myself. Shortly after my relationship ended, I attended Singles Ministry and the topic of discussion related to knowing your value in order to maintain sexual purity. I thanked God that I had Grace Magazine | www.fbcglenarden.org already been strengthened in the purity department, but knowing my value and worth honestly plagued me. At that moment, I knew the Holy Spirit was urging me to lay this insecurity before God’s throne and completely surrender every seed that grew into an unfruitful vine. That night, I prayed for God to show me how to lay hold of these insecurities and to show me who I am as His child. After a few minutes, I closed my eyes and I saw brown soil as my root and the foundation said, “For no other foundation can anyone lay than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ” (1 Corinthians 3:11). I then imagined this vibrant, healthy green vine growing tall from this brown soil. Inscribed in this vine’s main stem was, “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in Him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). Amazingly, this vine contained branches that had more inscriptions that read: “For we dare not class ourselves or compare ourselves with those who commend themselves (2 Corinthians 10:12); The Lord doesn’t see how man sees; the Lord sees the heart (1 Samuel 16:7); I am sealed with God’s Holy Spirit (Romans 5:10); I am complete in Him (Colossians 2:10); continued on page 21 17 Worshipping With Style and Grace By Barbara Holt Streeter In this issue, we want to empower you to physically, spiritually, emotionally and financially move in the presence of God. When you are on your road trip to destiny, you will face many strongholds of life. You gear up for your road trip by taking the first step to freedom from the stuff that will hold you back from worshiping God in the way that will honor Him. In Psalm 150, God tells us to let all things praise the Lord, “Praise the Lord! Praise God in His sanctuary; Praise Him in His mighty firmament! Praise Him for His mighty acts; Praise Him according to His excellent greatness! Praise Him with the sound of the trumpet; Praise Him with the lute and harp! Praise Him with the timbrel and dance; Praise Him with stringed instruments and flutes! Praise Him with loud cymbals; Praise Him with clashing cymbals! Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Praise the Lord!” The worship experiences at many churches have changed over the years as with the protocol. I remember growing up in my home church and watching with wide eyes because I was nervous when Sister Fair yelled, danced and got happy, as the mothers of the church would say. But I watched my mommy crying, clapping and raising her hands, but not understanding why she wasn’t yelling, dancing and getting happy. And, I was scared when I watched an older lady fall out when she was hit with the Holy Ghost. All of these jargons, what did they mean? Is there a protocol on how to give God thanks for everything He has given me? Should I worship with style 18 and grace and sit still with my hands on my lap? Years later, I would understand that we worship God differently based on our background, church and culture, but most importantly, learn how to embrace our freedom to just worship God! As society changes, the church is changing as well. Church services are now worship services; mistress/ master of ceremonies are now worship leaders; music leaders/choir directors are now ministers of music. And, music has and will always be a major part of the worship experience. We know that when we worship through song prior to the sermon, often times you feel the presence of God ushering in His Holy Spirit. Many times you want to move, sing or shout, but you don’t. Pastor John K. Jenkins Sr. often says from the pulpit, “… I am amazed how some people can sit in their seats and watch others praise God.” I, too, wonder how people can just sit. What are they are thinking? Are they nervous? Do they not want to be seen? I am an observer of people. Some may say a people watcher. But I also like to learn from others because I ask questions. I’ve asked a few people about their worship experience and they shared: · “I will praise God anytime.” · “I love to sing God’s praises.” · “You know I will get my shout on in a minute.” · “I am a little nervous, I’m still trying to find my way.” · “I shouted once and everyone looked at me.” As you have read, praising God is a personal reflection of your love for Him. Personally, I love to give and show praise to God! I’m not the best singer, but I love to sing. I'm definitely not the best dancer, because I lack rhythm, but I love to dance. During my junior and high school years, I was on the track team so I love to run and walk. God allows me to show Him my love through various praises. As I take my road trip to destiny, I am open and free to show how much I love God. On many occasions, I will give God a good run around the sanctuary with three-foot high heels on! About 10 years ago during a worship service at our Ministry Center, I sat on the back row in tears because I wanted to break up with a young man I was dating. My daddy had given me the ultimatum - I needed to break up with him immediately, or he would call and let him know the relationship was over! (I was in my late 30s – my daddy was very serious). Pastor preached a sermon, “God will make you free!” The Word was so pure and it was directed to me. The prompting of the Holy Spirit to move was so strong and I started to run, run and run around the sanctuary with my black knee length boots. I ran so fast past the pulpit, my girlfriends shared with me that Pastor said, “Was that Barbara?” The run made me free! After church service, I had the best conversation with my parents where I shared my heart with them on various things in my life. And, yes, I broke up with that dude, too. Even in sickness, you can praise God. I have asthma and I recalled twice during my shouting and running, I needed my inhaler! What I Grace Magazine | By Women for Women | Spring 2014 ESSENCE OF ETIQUETTE love about God, He knew exactly how much I could run and shout and when it was time to sit and breathe! As an etiquette specialist, my flesh sometimes will try to push me to worship with style and grace. But the Holy Spirit will give me all the style and grace I need to praise Him. I understand the concern of women who wear more-trendy clothes and want to give God praise, but I share with them that God always knows when you want to worship Him in spirit and in truth, He will physically cover your flesh. God shares in John 4:23-24 to always praise Him in spirit and truth: “But the hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for the Father is seeking such to worship Him. God is spirit and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.” Over the past year, I have witnessed a major shift in the way our church worships God, particularly during Sunday Communion service and the Tuesday night Bible study. We worship for hours and realize that time is not a factor. God moves from the onset of the service with our minister of music Stephen Hurd, or assistant minister of music Anthony Brown, ushering in the Holy Spirit through song. Our Dance Ministry praises God through their graceful arm movements and high steps, and the Banner Ministry waves the banners in such a methodic rhythm that you begin to sense and feel the presence of God. In the words of Pastor Jenkins, “It’s a sweet aroma.” The beauty of the sweet aroma gives presence to someone who is praising God. Although you may not know why the person is praising God, it’s our faith that allows us to celebrate with them, knowing our blessing is around the corner. For example, one of our faithful worshipers loves to march around the sanctuary during Bible study. One night, she started in one direction marching swiftly that turned into a run. Pastor started running in another direction. We were all praising God and in a blink of an eye while she was running, her wig came off! Yes, off! First reaction, you would think she would stop. NO! She was giving God so much praise, hair was not the priority, only God! There are so many great praise stories to share about our women in church, such as Mother Rosie Woodrick in her purple ensemble. She is always dressed in the royal purple, but don’t let the attire fool you. She’s in her 70s and will jog in the choir while giving God her praise! Worship can also be in silence. Being still in the presence of God is worship. Hearing His voice in the midst of noise is the beauty of your closeness with Him. In Psalm 46:10, God shares, “Be still, and know that I am God; . . . .” One of my girlfriends, Necie Canady, loves to take a road trip where she can sit near the water, on the beach. The breeze is slightly moving, the calm of the ocean is soothing her soul, the sun is basking and the only sound she hears is God’s whisper. Praise God, she reached her destiny of God’s grace and mercy. Wow! Give God all of the praise in spirit and truth and He will give you style and grace!|G| Grace Magazine | www.fbcglenarden.org Did You Know? By Ceol Tilghman In today’s world of modern technology, most cars are built with a GPS (Global Positioning System). This electronic device took the place of road maps and removed the fear of being lost on the road. Most of these high tech devices are very sophisticated and able to map out our destination while communicating with us to turn left or right in precise detail. However, in the kingdom of God, another GPS uses biblical principles and are led by the Spirit on a journey towards their destiny. They are called God's Promise Seekers (GPS). God's Promise Seekers start out by seeking the Lord and they never give up on searching the heart of God to fulfill His promises for their lives. “But seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness…” (Matthew 6:33). God has promised that when you seek Him, you will find Him, when you have sought Him with all of your heart (Jeremiah 29:13). God’s Promise Seekers also operate in faith. They know that the race is not given to the swift, but to those who endure to the end; and to those who diligently seek Him (Hebrews. 11:6). continued on page 21 19 Whose “Right-of-Way” Is It? By Mildred Stokes One way to understand the heart and mind of God can be found through study in the Book of Jonah. It is an easy story to comprehend on the surface. Yet, it is a profound demonstration of how wrong decisions can land you in uninhabitable waters. The teaching announces with clarion call, “You may run, but you cannot hide!” God is omnipresent, sovereign and able to establish His will by every means necessary. He is limitless, merciful to heal and restore nations and still display the sustaining capacity to love us through our mess. The story begins with the Lord giving clear instruction to Jonah: “Arise, go to Nineveh and cry out against it!” (Jonah 1:2). Upon hearing, Jonah chooses to rebel and do things his own way. He runs to Joppa, boards a ship to Tarshish - rather than Nineveh - in his attempt to flee from the presence of the Lord. Jonah thought he had it all worked out as we oftentimes do. Cloaked in the garment of rebellion, he was confident that he had the “right of way” in this situation, which he did not own. Soon after, God unleashed His wrath and caused a massive storm to erupt on the seas. The mariners not only unloaded cargo, but discovered the necessity to throw Jonah - the primary causal factor in all of this - overboard, as well. In His merciful wisdom, God prepared a fish - a “customized underwater vessel” - to swallow Jonah whole. Yet, Jonah 20 was preserved and brought to his knees in repentance and submission to the will of God. In that uninhabitable place, Jonah experienced the righteousness of God. And there he offered a sacrifice of praise with the voice of thanksgiving. Afterward, at the appointed time, the Lord directed the vessel to spew Jonah onto a dry, safe landing with the same command: “Arise, go to Nineveh, that great city, and preach to it the message that I tell you” (Jonah 3:2). Imagine his appearance. Jonah is ragged and smelly, as he hurries exhaustedly into the city after a three-day walk in record time. He had to have been quite a sight! The Ninevites hear his announcement of their pending destruction and despair. With fearful hearts, they bow to God confessing their evil violence. The King of Ninevah proclaims a fast throughout the region hoping to receive God’s pardon. Deliverance is what the Ninevites wanted, and believed would come only through their repentance and willingness to turn from their wickedness in the sight of the Lord. And they were right! God saw them turning away from their violence and relented. In His mercy, He canceled the destruction they so rightfully deserved and gave them another chance. Thus, He performed this according to His Sovereign will though it was displeasing to Jonah. This story takes a puzzling and somewhat unsuspecting turn. Why is Jonah angry? Why is he praying and begging God to bring death to him as we find in Jonah 4:3? One thing seems compelling. There is an unforgiving, vengeful spirit within Jonah against the Ninevites. And it will not be silenced easily. The Lord saw Jonah’s relentless struggle with anger. He had compassion on him despite Jonah’s resentment. God provided the shade of a plant “to deliver him from his misery” (Jonah 4:6). But it was also a test. The Lord removed that shelter with the dawn of the morning and sent a blast of unbearable atmospheric heat in its place. Would Jonah look deeply into the mirror of his soul and see that all things are purposed in the plan of God? Would he release his rights and reach beyond his anger and self-righteousness to comprehend and embrace truth? God did a righteous thing to relent. It was God’s grace that spared the lives of 128,000 repenting worshipers from destruction. Jonah could not override God’s judgment. And neither can any of us. It is God who delivers vengeance as He so determines. Psalm 30:5 gives greater insight into the majesty of our Lord: “For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for life; Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning.” Grace Magazine | By Women for Women | Spring 2014 INSPIRATIONAL God’s forgiveness of the Ninevites signaled a foretaste of the abundance of His incomprehensible mercy. It is God alone who showers grace upon those who love Him and seek after His will with their whole heart. Such a marvelous reason to rejoice! And yet Jonah did not. Lessons Along the Way In the end, it seems that what God showed Jonah in the affliction of his deep-seeded anger was not enough. Jonah’s preservation in the belly of God’s prepared fish and his expulsion onto dry land and liberty was not enough. God asks Jonah, “Should I not pity Nineveh?” salvation and abide in Him. This ending of Jonah’s encounter with the Lord has always caused me to ponder the condition of man’s heart. We justify and allow ourselves to become comfortable with contrariness and make wrong turns in disobedience, even without apology. In our fallen state, we have a thorn in the flesh to remind us of our dependence upon God. For we are prone to wander away from Him, whether consciously or otherwise. The Word of God comforts and points us in the right direction continuously. The completion of Jesus’ ministry is the clearest evidence of God’s heart and love for us. His presence abounds abundantly so that we are never left alone. A way of escape is embedded in any trial we encounter, so that we will have the strength to bear it as we find in 1 Corinthians 10:13. Most assuredly, God is faithful. We learn from this story that we are works in progress undergoing God’s continual pruning process to transform us to His standard of righteousness. Each of us has the opportunity to mature spiritually, embrace the gift of The book of Jonah allows us to see the sufficiency of God’s grace on many levels. In like manner, the many road signs before us broadcast the significance of compliance and humble embrace of God’s sovereign unmatched power and love. It is always our surrender that concerns God and a contrite spirit within. Notice it didn’t matter that Jonah sank into the lowest parts of the ship to lie down and rest as referenced in Jonah 1:5. God saw him. Jonah could be found — just as we are, through Christ. Obedience is the principal thing. Sacrifices of praise offered to God in reverent fear are well-pleasing and a sweet aroma. Calm seas do return! Christ is the way - the “right of way” to guide and preserve you all the days of your life. But you must yield to Him willingly, recognize His call and humble yourself. Then come to Him with praise and thanksgiving in your heart!|G| Grace Magazine | www.fbcglenarden.org Seeing Myself Outside of the Box continued from page 17 We are ambassadors for Christ” (2 Corinthians 5:20). When I opened my eyes, my entire perspective on life and my role completely altered. I no longer felt confined to the various hats I wore from day-to-day. I no longer felt like the wayward sea, vacillating back and forth. God indeed wants to show us how “fearfully and wonderfully made” we all are if we would take the time to seek Him. The world insists that we view ourselves through wealth, careers, and even other people. However, God’s revelation helped me to not live in that box or any other for that matter. There is indeed freedom in true submission to the Lord’s will. By God’s grace, He has blessed my heart and given me the fortitude to stand firm in His word as He shows me the way every day.|G| Did You Know? continued from page 19 They are also filled with love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and selfcontrol, (Galatians 5:22-23). Fruit that is needed to fuel and keep them on the journey while pursuing their destiny. God's Promise Seekers are unlike any of today’s short-lived technology that’s here today and gone tomorrow. Instead, they abide in Him knowing He has promised that he will always be with us, even until the end of the age (Matthew 28:20). |G| 21 PARENTING Helping Children Manifest Their Road to Destiny By Norma L. Day-Vines, Ph.D. One weekend my daughter invited a friend to her sleepover. During her stay, the friend borrowed an item of clothing. As children often do, my daughter’s friend never returned the item. My child complained and complained, until I finally reminded her that she had borrowed some of her friends’ things without returning them. Eventually, I agreed to replace the item, even though she had not looked at or worn the item in months. In fact, she never even liked the item. Despite my offer to replace the article of clothing, my daughter continued to whine. After I could no longer take the whining and complaining, I sat my child down and reminded her about how Lot’s wife turned into a pillar of salt because she ignored God’s command that she leave Sodom and Gomorrah and not look back. I was trying to explain to her that people look back, both literally by defying God’s command, and figuratively by dwelling on a situation from which God has delivered them. The parallel I was trying to draw was between the refusal of Lot's wife to look forward to God’s promise of a better life and my daughter’s refusal to focus on the fact that what she lost would soon be replaced. In any case, as I tried to recount the story I was fuzzy on some of the background details so we read the Scripture together. his teenage son to watch him make a major presentation. Before the session started the son was talking on his cell phone. The father asked the son to turn the cell phone off. The son politely said, “I don’t need to turn the cell phone off, I can just turn it down.” Like many children, this child renegotiated the rules his father gave him, not realizing that his father, just like our heavenly Father, sees the larger picture. For Lot’s wife, renegotiating God’s directive had lethal consequences. As parents, our challenge is to prepare children who can lead godly, productive lives. When children argue with authority figures, implicitly or explicitly, their disobedience may result in compromises that have negative consequences. If we are to help children manifest the road to their destiny, we have to inspire them to respect authority and act in accordance to God’s Holy Word. Jesus said, “If you love Me, obey My commandments (John14:15).|G| As we read, my daughter was able to recognize that like Lot’s wife, she, too, disobeyed a direct command and instead chose to dwell on the past rather than focus on the future. The blessing that came from re-reading that passage was a new insight I had not previously considered. As the angels led Lot and his wife out of Sodom and Gomorrah and told them to escape to the mountains so they would not be swept away, Lot tried to renegotiate the angel’s command. Lot asked the angel whether he could go to a small village instead of the mountains. I explained to my daughter that if Lot and his wife had been obedient, the couple would probably have been so narrowly focused on the physical and psychological energy it would take to climb such a steep hill, that Lot’s wife would have been too tired to look back. As I read that particular passage, I was reminded of how in life adults and children alike try to renegotiate God’s command. Recently, I was sitting in a meeting with a man who had brought 22 Grace Magazine | By Women for Women | Spring 2014 HEALTH Breaking the Chains of Food By Connie Pulliam Food is something we are all too familiar with. We have all probably heard the old saying, “Eat to live, don’t live to eat.” How does one live up to that? How does one not live to eat when almost everything is centered on food? Business meetings, funerals and special occasions, just to name a few, have food as the anchor. We know that food is a necessity; our bodies must have food in order to function properly. However, what happens when food has a stronghold on our lives? When food is used as response to an emotion or feeling this has the potential to become dangerous. As written in the Bible “The heart is deceitful above all things, And desperately wicked; who can know it?” (Jeremiah 17:9). When our heart decides how much food should be eaten and how often it is eaten we may allow food to become a heavy chain that needs to be broken. What does emotional eating look like and how does it affect the body? People may resort to eating unusual amounts of food. Why do we emotionally eat? Sometimes food is used as an escape or replacement for comfort. This behavior has devastating effects on our bodies; from emotional eating can greatly affect our sleep, weight and heart. Emotional eating also affects our time spent with God. An unhealthy desire for eating could cause unwanted pounds and an unhealthy lifestyle. Emotional eating can develop into eating disorders that will affect your healthy lifestyle. According to womenshealth. gov there are many disorders associated with food, which can include: anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa and binge eating. If you or someone you know may be suffering from one of these or any other disorder, please seek professional medical help immediately. If you are noticing that you are depending more on food to get you through instead of depending on God, then maybe the chains of food need to be broken for you. How can this be achieved? Keeping a journal can help track your emotional status and food intake at different times of the day. At the end of a week, try comparing the food intake with the emotional experience. This could be helpful in modifying your emotional response and food intake behaviors. How strong is your support system? It is important to have a trusted person or group that you can go to and talk about what you are feeling instead of going to the refrigerator to eat. Surrounding yourself with positive people to encourage you and to be lovingly truthful is vital. Most importantly, how is your relationship with God? Is your walk with God as strong as you would like it to be? Pray daily, asking God to empower you to break the strongholds of the food chains. Talk to the Lord about the things that may be weighing you down. Only He can truly break the chains that bind you. Remember, in conjunction with the suggestions mentioned above and with your health professional’s approval, exercise daily and choose healthy food options. Pray and meditate on God’s Word and your food chains can be broken. For more information about eating disorders please visit www. womenshealth.gov. |G| Grace Magazine | www.fbcglenarden.org 23 Tasty Treats By Mia Waldron MINI MEATLOAF This recipe is a twist on the classic meatloaf. It is moist, tender and pairs well with salads. Ingredients: 1 lb lean ground beef/turkey ½ lb ground lamb ½ lb ground pork ½ cup bread crumbs 1 large egg ¼ cup ketchup ¼ cup minced/chopped onion 1 tbs worcestershire sauce 1 tbs soy sauce 2 tsp granulated garlic 1 tsp ground cumin 1 tsp sea salt 1 tsp cayenne pepper 1 tbs ground parmesan cheese Cooking spray Muffin tins Directions: 1. Combine all dry seasonings in a small bowl. Spray muffin tins on all sides with cooking spray and set aside. Preheat oven to 400°F. 2. Mix ground meat, ketchup, egg, Worcestershire sauce and soy sauce in a large bowl by hand. 3. Add seasoning mix, parmesan cheese and bread crumbs to the meat mixture; combine well. 4. Scoop approximately ½ cup meat mixture and make balls; press one ball lightly into the bottom of each prepared muffin tin. 5. Bake for 45 minutes to 1 hour uncovered until meat thermometer inserted registers 160°F and the mini loaves separate from the sides of the each muffin tin. 24 Serves 12 Grace Magazine | By Women for Women | Spring 2014 PUDDING PIE IN A CARAMEL COOKIE CRUST This is a quick and easy summertime dessert that uses comfort foods. To lighten up the recipe, reduce the fat and calories by using low or nonfat milk, sugar-free pudding mix, margarine and omit the whipped topping. Ingredients 1-4.6 oz box of cook & serve pudding mix (vanilla or chocolate) 3 cups milk 2 cups Dulce de Leche Girl Scout Cookie crumbs (approximately 40 cookies) 1/2 cup butter/margarine melted Whipped Topping Directions 1. Crush cookies into medium sized crumbs using a food processor or place cookies into a sealed plastic bag, press the air out before closing and use a rolling pin to crush the cookies. 2. In a large bowl combine the crumbs with the melted butter. Press the mixture into the bottom and sides of a 9-inch pie pan. Bake at 350˚F for 7-9 minutes to set. Allow to cool at least 20 minutes before filling. 3. Prepare pudding according to package directions, cool for 5 minutes, stir and pour into baked crust. Cover the pie surface with plastic wrap and refrigerate for 3 hours or until set. 4. Serve with 2 tbs of whipped topping on each slice. Serves 8 Grace Magazine | www.fbcglenarden.org 25 REFLECTIONS Reflections … Life Lessons By Barbara Holt Streeter God blesses us daily with stuff we take for granted: food, houses, clothes, gas and other things that we are pretty confident God will give us, right? Wrong? Everyday, I thank God for what He gives me, most importantly His unconditional love. As women, we are nurturers, we love our families, we are great girlfriends and we often work hard to please others. But throughout our seasons of life, we will experience so many joys, trials, victories and challenges. And out of these, the only constant assurance is God’s love! His love entrusted First Lady Trina Jenkins to share her vision to relaunch a newsletter for the women of First Baptist Church of Glenarden almost 10 years ago. I was honored to be in the group that listened to her heart and was excited to share great information and resources to women within First Baptist and the community. We started with a color newsletter, actually an 11x17 double-sided paper, which we printed on the color copier in the office! The leadership team included Sade Dennis and I as the team leaders; project coordinator, Phenola Moore, lead editor, Marilyn Stackhouse; lead copy editors, Marguerite Brown and Verna Smith; graphic designer, Khadijah Bey and financial/project coordinator Keisha White. We were honored to have many women who also shared their professional gifts as graphic designers with Grace Magazine: Sherron Johnson, Darlene Powell and Chae Carriere and today, our creative director, Angela Hendrix Bell. If we had a video camera to show the journey of Grace, you would laugh and cry at the behind-the-scenes production. Imagine 10 women in a small office, working at two desks and on the floor, writing, editing, 26 designing and printing simultaneously! We did it with love, humility and grace, of course all while eating and laughing. Was it challenging? Yes! Did we get along all the time? No, of course not, because we are women! But we did it because we were assigned to serve God and fulfill the vision of First Lady. We created great resourceful “departments” in Grace that women enjoy reading, from Add Your Money Wisely; Beauty from the Inside Out; Did You Know?; Entrepreneur; Health; Inspirational; It’s Tea Time; Parenting; Relationships; Youth/ Young Adults; Tasty Treats; and, special to me, Essence of Etiquette, where I served as the etiquette specialist. I salute the faithful team of writers, editors and proofreaders who helped launch and build the foundation of Grace in 2005 – Pat America, Mary L. Brown, Neader Chandler, Valencia Daniel, Cynthia Johnson, Michelle Singletary, Minister Sheryl Smith, S. Renne Stocks, Dee Taylor-Jolley, Wanda Thomas and Latashia Warren. They labored and prayed as we grew the 11x17 color newsletter printed in the office to a 28-page full-color magazine that produces over 5,000 copies a year! As I am writing my last Reflections … Life Lessons, my tears are flowing because I know what God gave me was an opportunity that I will forever treasure. It’s almost surreal to the day I remember when Phenola Moore's season ended with Grace. She served as the assistant director, the go-to person, my right and left hand. I said, 'Oh God, now what?' But God gave me the appointed time to hand the baton to Nicole Irby, a beautiful, spirited young lady with great leadership and professional abilities who loves God and has the passion to serve. Nicole served as the second assistant director and the faithful leadership team has supported her during the transition. Thank you First Lady for your love, guidance and leadership; you allowed me to walk with you to see the good in everyone. You built my character and confidence when I wanted to give up. You showed me what and how God sees excellence in His daughters. I have learned so much from you, when and when not to speak and when and how to pray. I am forever grateful to and for you. You are a true Proverbs 31 woman in every aspect. I love you! Ladies, let 2014 be your year to step out of your comfort zone. Do what you have been praying and dreaming to do. Be the person that God has called you to be and enjoy the life that God has given you. This is our TIME and our season because “For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; …” (Psalm 139:13-14). That's my favorite Scripture. And remember . . . may the life you live be a blessing to someone! With love and grace, Barbara |G| Grace Magazine | By Women for Women | Spring 2014 8:00 AM 100% Anytime 7:45 AM, Today FBCG App Now Available! FBCG text-giving is now available! 7:46 AM, Today You mean I can securely make donations from my cellphone??? That’s great, thanks! 7:47 AM, Today Yes, visit the church website to create your account! | Free instant access at your fingertips | View live broadcasts, messages on demand, audio, video and more … Enter amount here Send The Women of First Baptist Church of Glenarden have Spiritual STYLE & Grace Magazine Developed by women for women to spiritually, physically & financially empower. We are currently looking for: Graphic Designers Writers Editors Researchers Meeting Date/Time: 2nd Thursday at 7 p.m. Email: gracemagazine@fbcglenarden.org Grace First Baptist Church of Glenarden Magazine First Baptist Church of Glenarden is a progressive ministry with a strong emphasis on relevant biblical teaching and preaching the Word of God. Under the leadership of Pastor John K. Jenkins Sr., First Baptist has grown to comprise more than 11,000 active members, 100-plus ministries and programs, four Sunday worship services and a well-attended Tuesday night Bible study. Pastor Jenkins and his devoted wife, First Lady Trina Jenkins, have dedicated their lives to winning the lost and developing dynamic disciples to impact the lives of people in our community and throughout the world. Worship the Lord with us! S U N DAY W O R S H I P WORSHIP CENTER 8 a.m., 10 a.m. and noon services are held at the Worship Center. 600 Watkins Park Drive Upper Marlboro, MD 20774 (Mailing Address) Praise and Worship begins 15 minutes prior to the start of the 8 a.m. and 10 a.m. services only. M I N I S T RY C E N T E R 3600 Brightseat Road Landover, MD 20785 6:30 p.m. service is held at the Ministry Center, except on 4th Sunday (Communion service) and special events as noted. Phone: 301-773-3600 www.fbcglenarden.org Email: fbcginfo@fbcglenarden.org www.facebook.com/ firstbaptistglenarden B I B L E S T U DY Tuesdays at 7 p.m. at the Worship Center and Wednesdays at noon at the Ministry Center. www.twitter.com/FBCG Find FBCG on Facebook and Twitter! ON RADIO ON THE WEB Saturdays WPRS Praise 104.1 FM - 9:30 a.m. WAVA 105.1 FM - 10:30 a.m. Live Worship Services Broadcasts: Sundays at 8 a.m., 10 a.m., noon and 6:30 p.m. Bible Study on Tuesdays, 7 p.m. 24-Hour Television and Video on Demand O N YO U R S M A R T P H O N E S A N D I PA D FBCG Worship Services live at www.fbcglive.com Sundays at 8 a.m., 10 a.m. and noon; 6:30 p.m. service can be viewed live at www.fbcglive.com/MC Photo by Jim Kumorek, courtesy of Worship Facilities Magazine