Article

CO LU M N
D AW N P O R T E R s h a r e s …
E AC H W E E K , T H E I N T R E P I D J O U R N A L I S T B A R E S H E R S O U L
Who wants to be
the breadwinner?
y girlfriend Amy recently
told me that she wasn’t
sure she could marry
the man she was in love
with, because he didn’t
earn much money and most likely
never would. She was worried about
what kind of life he could offer their
children should they have any. As
you can probably imagine, it was an
uncomfortable conversation.
After a while of trying to weigh
up the importance of love, how
wonderful he was and how lucky she
and any children they bore would be to
have such a kind adoring man in their
lives, I then popped a difficult question
of my own: “Why don’t you get out there
and make some money yourself?”
She looked at me like I had the
F-word tattooed across my forehead.
I imagine 50 years ago the
conversation would have been
somewhat different, in those days it
was acceptable for a woman to put
all of the financial pressure of looking
after a family on to the man. Today,
things are different. Why couldn’t
she take responsibility? Women are
WORDS: DAW N P ORT ER
PHOTO GRAPHY: COLINBELLP HOTO.COM , RE X FEATURES
M
quote to pass on to
Amy, her response
was most
unexpected.
Instead of
bragging she
told me the
stress of being
the sole provider
was often too much
to bear. She resented the imbalance
and wanted a bunch of flowers
to be shoved under her nose
that she didn’t essentially pay for
herself. She felt that being the
breadwinner challenged her
femininity and that she spent
most of her days longing to
be the one at home with her
children. Along with her
discomfort, her husband’s
ego had also built over time,
and he too had come to resent
the situation and wished to be the
one with the high-paid job. Oh…
This blew my fantasy of having
a house husband while I brought home
the bacon right out the window! DAMN!
I chose not to relay this information
“She said the stress of being the sole
provider was too much to bear and
wanted some flowers she hadn’t paid for”
closing in on the gender gap and
are more than capable of contributing
to a household, in many cases (19% to
be precise) more so than men.
I wanted to encourage Amy to step
forth into the modern world and to think
seriously about being the one to earn
the money she felt her family would
need. So I contacted a woman I know
who works in the City, who is the sole
breadwinner for her family of four.
Whenever we have met she
always sounded like she wouldn’t have
it any other way, confidently articulating
how much she loves not being beholden
to anyone etc etc. But when I emailed
her for a boasting and confidential
back to Amy. It wouldn’t have helped
my cause.
The thing is, we are at a really
confusing stage of history. We are
of a generation where there are girls
like Amy who still feel the influence
of their grandmothers who were very
much supported by men, and others
who feel they would be letting the
feminist movement down in some way
if they don’t take full advantage of the
opportunities we now have when it
comes to careers and motherhood. Up
until about a week ago, I thought I was
the latter. Now I’m not so sure.
VICTORIA BECKHAM
KNOWS HOW TO
TRAVEL IN STYLE
When
I’m on
the
a f light
Here’s
I have
thing…
a great routine.
Face wip e,
herbal sle eping
pill , wake up, mascara .
But somehow I still lo o k
like a prime candidate for
an internal examination
when I get off the p lane.
I am sure the first- class
ticket helps out the likes
of Vic toria Be ckham ,
but there mu st b e a way
I can make my on-b oard
exp erience a little more
glamorou s? Email me tips
on how to travel in style,
I ne e d them ...
D E A D LY D E S I R E S
I stopped off in a fast food
gaff for some
hangover food
a few weeks
ago. I knew
what I wanted
and it wasn’t a
salad. But this
place thought
it would be a
FRIED FOOD: ONLY
good idea to
FOR HANGOVERS
put the amount
of calories in
each dish on the menu. The
thing was, EVERYTHING
was fried… Not only that,
they had a sign by the
desserts saying that if
I ate them I might get
“Dangerous Curves”. Why
were they being so mean?
Email Dawn at dawn.porter@stylist.co.uk
W W W. S T Y L I S T. C O . U K
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