Medical Matters 2016

Transcription

379
www.pvmcitypaper.com
Issue 379
Saturday 6 to Friday 12
February - 2016
February - 2016
2 379
Need to Know
manners to present the check before it is
requested, so when you’re ready to leave,
ask «La cuenta, por favor» and your bill
will be delivered to you.
MONEY EXCHANGE: Although
you may have to wait in line for a few
minutes, remember that the banks will
give you a higher rate of exchange than
the exchange booths (caja de cambio).
Better yet, if you have a «bank card»,
withdraw funds from your account back
home. Try to avoid exchanging money at
your hotel. Traditionally, those offer the
worst rates.
I
f you’ve been meaning to find a little information on the region,
but never quite got around to it, we hope that the following will help.
If you look at the maps on this page, you will note that PV (as the locals call
it) is on the west coast of Mexico, smack in the middle of the Bay of Banderas
- one of the largest bays in this country - which includes southern part of the
state of Nayarit to the north and the northern part of Jalisco to the south.
Thanks to its privileged location -sheltered by the Sierra Madre mountainsthe Bay is well protected against the hurricanes spawned in the Pacific.
Hurricane Kenna did come close on October 25, 2002, but actually touched
down in San Blas, Nayarit, some 200 kms north of PV.
The town sits on the same parallel as the Hawaiian Islands,
thus the similarities in the climate of the two destinations.
AREA: 1,300 sq. kilometers
POPULATION: Approx. 325,000
inhabitants
CLIMATE: Tropical, humid, with
an average of 300 sunny days per year.
The temperature averages 28oC (82oF)
and the rainy season extends from late
June to early October.
allowed under certain circumstances
but fishing of any kind is prohibited.
Every year, the Bay receives the visit
of the humpback whales, dolphins and
manta rays in the winter. During the
summer, sea turtles, a protected species,
arrive to its shores to lay their eggs.
FAUNA: Nearby Sierra Vallejo
hosts a great variety of animal species
such as iguana, guacamaya, deer,
raccoon, etc.
ECONOMY: Local economy is
based mainly on tourism, construction
and to a lesser degree, on agriculture,
mainly tropical fruit such as mango,
papaya,
watermelon,
pineapple,
guanabana, cantaloupe and bananas.
SANCTUARIES:
Bahía
de
Banderas encloses two Marine
National Parks - Los Arcos and the
Marieta Islands - where diving is
CURRENCY: The Mexican Peso is
the legal currency in Mexico although
Canadian and American dollars are
widely accepted.
Index
BUSES: A system of urban buses
with different routes. Current fare is
$7.50 Pesos per ticket and passengers
must purchase a new ticket every time
they board another bus. There are no
“transfers”.
TAXIS: There are set rates within
defined zones of the town. Do not enter
a taxi without agreeing on the price with
the driver FIRST. If you are staying in a
hotel, you may want to check the rates
usually posted in the lobby. Also, if you
know which restaurant you want to go,
do not let the driver change your mind.
Many restaurateurs pay commissions to
taxi drivers and you may end up paying
more than you should, in a secondrate establishment! There are 2 kinds
of taxi cabs: those at the airport and
the maritime port are usually vans that
can only be boarded there. They have
pre-fixed rates per passenger. City cabs
are yellow cars that charge by the ride,
not by passenger. When you ask to go
downtown, many drivers let you off at
the beginning of the area, near Hidalgo
Park. However, your fare covers the
ENTIRE central area, so why walk 10 to
15 blocks to the main plaza, the Church
or the flea market? Pick up a free map,
and insist on your full value from the
driver! Note the number of your taxi in
case of any problem, or if you forget
something in the cab. Then your hotel or
travel rep can help you check it out or
lodge a complaint.
TIME ZONE: The entire State of
Jalisco is on Central Time, as is the
area of the State of Nayarit from Lo
de Marcos in the north to the Ameca
River, i.e.: Nuevo Vallarta, Bucerías,
La Cruz de Huanacaxtle, Sayulita, San
Pancho, Punta Mita, etc. North of Lo
De Marcos, Guayabitos, La Peñita,
San Blas, etc. are on Mountain Time,
i.e.: one hour behind PV time.
TELEPHONE CALLS: Always
check on the cost of long distance
calls from your hotel room. Some
establishments charge as much as U.S.
$7.00 per minute!
CELL PHONES: Most cellular
phones from the U.S. and Canada may
be programmed for local use, through
Telcel and IUSAcell, the local carriers.
To dial cell to cell, use the prefix 322,
then the seven digit number of the
person you’re calling. Omit the prefix if
dialling a land line.
LOCAL CUSTOMS: Tipping is
usually 10%-15% of the bill at restaurants
and bars. Tip bellboys, taxis, waiters,
maids, etc. depending on the service.
Some businesses and offices close from
2 p.m. to 4 p.m., reopening until 7 p.m. or
later. In restaurants, it is considered poor
February - 2016
WHAT TO DO: Even if your allinclusive hotel is everything you ever
dreamed of, you should experience at
least a little of all that Vallarta has to
offer - it is truly a condensed version of
all that is Mexican and existed before
«Planned Tourist Resorts», such as
Cancun, Los Cabos and Ixtapa, were
developed. Millions have been spent to
ensure that the original “small town”
flavor is maintained downtown, in the
Old Town and on the South Side.
DRINKING WATER: The false
belief that a Mexican vacation must
inevitably lead to an encounter with
Moctezuma’s revenge is just that:
false. For the 21st year in a row, Puerto
Vallarta’s water has been awarded
a certification of purity for human
consumption. It is one of only two
cities in Mexico that can boast of such
accomplishment. True, the quality of
the water tested at the purification plant
varies greatly from what comes out of
the tap at the other end. So do be careful.
On the other hand, most large hotels
have their own purification equipment
and most restaurants use purified water.
If you want to be doubly sure, you can
pick up purified bottled water just about
anywhere.
EXPORTING PETS: Canadian and
American tourists often fall in love with
one of the many stray dogs and cats in
Vallarta. Many would like to bring it
back with them, but believe that the laws
do not allow them to do so. Wrong. If
you would like to bring a cat or a dog
back home, call the local animal shelter
for more info: 293-3690.
LOCAL SIGHTSEEING: A good
beginning would be to take one of the City
Tours offered by the local tour agencies.
Before boarding, make sure you have a
map and take note of the places you want
to return to. Then venture off the beaten
path. Explore a little. Go farther than the
tour bus takes you. And don’t worry this is a safe place.
Sound Off
Your Comments
avineberg@yahoo.com
Dear Editor,
Noise complaints to the Reglamentos from
events such as Beef Dip. Why bother?
It is just after midnight high on Amapas
where it turns into Santa Barbara. What should
be another quiet night spent listening to the
gentle rocking of the waves is a night where
the only rocking is the LOUD music from
an event at Blue Chairs for Steve Buczek’s
Annual Beef Dip. Since 12 noon today, this
area has been rocking with music from a Beef
Dip event at Mantamar Beach Club ... now,
12 continuous NOISY hours later, from their
event at Blue Chairs. Tuesday of this week,
there was another Beef Dip rocking event at
Mantamar Beach Club from 12 noon to 7 p.m.
The organizer - Steve Buczek of Toronto
and the hosting establishments Mantamar
Beach Club (Almar Resort) and Blue Chairs
- should be ashamed at how much the volume
from these events disturbs the neighbors in
this Amapas residential neighborhood.
So what do you do? Call the Reglamentos, we
are told. First of all, the number (322) 178-8401
is ‘out of service’ at 1 p.m. From 2 p.m. until now,
10 hours later, there is no answer. What a joke.
A frustrated Amapas area resident who
believes that noise is completely ruining
Puerto Vallarta. But who cares?
Dear Friends and Supporters
of Beautification - Vallarta,
Fiesta Blanca was the chosen theme and
happily, almost everyone wore white at Puerto
Vallarta Garden Club’s Annual Gala held
on January 19th at Oscar’s Restaurant on the
Isla Cuale. In its fifth year, the PVGC has
become known for its annual elegant, high-end
fundraiser. With prior events at Casa Chickie
and Hacienda Palo Maria, expectations were
high, but guarded for the new venue. But the
artistic gifts of Mike Laking, David Muck, and
Nicholas Pinney resulted in a magical setting
that matched the highest standards. White
muslin curtains wafted softly in the breeze
with hundreds of huge white paper camellias
mounted throughout the dining hall.
Music during the cocktail hour on the lawn
was provided by Pichakus Latin American
folk musicians Carolina and Javiar. During
the sit down dinner, La Boquita Musicians
Silvia and Paolo played.
Oscar’s food and service were excellent. A
silent auction had everyone enthusiastically
bidding for items such as dinners at private
homes, artwork, Vallarta experiences and dining
at local restaurants. An anonymous donor
pledged $5000 U.S. as a matching challenge, and
many patrons and supporters of beautification
stepped up to pledge. The evening was capped
by dancing and celebration of all that the P.V.
Garden club has accomplished.
Thanks to everyone who helped!
The Puerto Vallarta Garden Club
Dear Editor,
I just learned over a National TV interview
program, that Dr. Samis Chachoua , an
independent medical researcher, has discovered
a fast cure for the HIV virus, and AIDS , in
Mexico. The discovery is the CAEV virus
found in the milk from goats with arthritis.
The cure consists of drinking this milk.
The cure results from the CAEV virus
attacking and killing the HIV virus, just
as in nature, where there are predators and
their prey. There are other viruses that act
against cancer and other viral diseases, that
do not harm the person like many of the other
medical cures.
There was no specific location mentioned in
Mexico, and I had hoped that if this information
was posted in the PV Mirror, that someone
who had used this cure would mention where
in Mexico that this cure is successfully being
used, as a cure is needed by others.
Your friend,
Frank Norton
P.S.: The TV program I was shown was
the Bill Maher Show, where Dr. Sam was
interviewed for most of the show, which was
unusual, but done due to the importance of the
reporting.
Dear Mr. Norton,
Thank you for this. I can only hope that our
readers will do their own research, as I am no
expert in the matter.
The Ed
Continued on Page 30
February - 2016
379
3
Vallarta Stars
4 379
Small gestures
By
Arlene Pervin
Publisher / Editor:
Allyna Vineberg
avineberg@yahoo.com
Contributors:
Anna Reisman
Joe Harrington
Stan Gabruk
Krystal Frost
Giselle Belanger
Ronnie Bravo
Tommy Clarkson
Luis Melgoza
Gil Gevins
Catherine Beeghly
Todd Ringness
Julie Bunker
Arlene Pervin
Jerry Rubin
Jan Gregg-Kelm
Charlie Mader
T
here’s a small park on the corner of Calle Guadalupe Sanchez and
Pipila, across from Pipi’s restaurant. It is bordered by leafy trees. It has a
swing set, two slides, a teeter totter and a climbing apparatus. It had been in
a state of neglect for some time.
Garbage had begun to pile up in the adjacent cement slab and a single
swing seat hung limply by a solitary chain. The swing framework, and all
the other pieces in the park were pockmarked with rust and the original
colors of forest green and canary yellow were faded with age. The white
cement benches where people could sit were black with grime and mold.
The outer concrete walls surrounding the park were dirty white and the red
brick that surrounded them were faded and dull.
After passing the park daily, I decided that the least I could do was clean up
the garbage. After mentioning my plan to do a garbage clean-up, my friend
Robbin said she would gladly help. The day we undertook the garbage
pick-up, armed with heavy-duty jumbo-sized bags, one of the street people
to whom I had previously talked came and helped us. After two and a half
solid hours and 15 Jumbo bags later, we had accomplished our initial goal.
After cleaning up this one area, our eyes looked at the rest of the park
and we decided we would do our best to restore the park for the children
and others in the neighbourhood. My friend had her handyman, Cesar, an
iron worker, make new swings and install them with heavy duty chains,
and paint was purchased to paint the swings, teeter totter, slides, concrete
benches and brickwork. My friend graciously paid for the materials.
Robbin and I painted the equipment in its original colors of forest green
and bright canary yellow. It took several days to get the job done and on two
afternoons, I had two boys about twelve who pitched in and helped me paint.
Parque Infantil de Guadalupe Sanchez now has purple swings, one of
which is even a baby swing. The cement benches and surrounding walls
and brickwork look fresh and bright. Now, when I walk by the park next
door, I see mothers in the park with children swinging on the swings and
sitting on the teeter totter.
It is by example that we teach. Not by assignment, but involvement and
participation. Giving, each in our own way, shares more with a community
than words or money alone. It is hoped that this small gesture will go a long
way. A small fiesta is being planned for the neighbourhood children and
residents to help celebrate the park.
February - 2016
Office & Sales: 223-1128
Graphic Designer:
Leo Robby R.R.
Webmaster:
PVMCITYPAPER.COM
Online Team
Cover Painting:
“PV Sunset, Jan. 25th”
by Laura Ghilardi
PV Mirror es una publicación semanal.
Certificados de licitud de título y
contenido en tramite. Prohibida la
reproducción total o parcial de su
contenido, imágenes y/o fotografías sin
previa autorización por escrito del editor.
An important notice
The PVMIRROR wants your views and
comments. Please send them by e-mail to:
avineberg@yahoo.com
250 words max, full name, street or e-mail
address and/or tel. number for verification
purposes only. If you do not want your name
published, we will respect your wishes.
Letters & articles become the property of
the PVMIRROR and may be edited and/or
condensed for publication.
The articles in this publication are provided
for the purpose of entertainment and
information only. The PV Mirror City
Paper does not accept any responsibility or
liability for the content of the articles on
this site or reliance by any person on the
site’s contents. Any reliance placed on such
information is therefore strictly at such
person’s own risk.
Note:
To Advertisers & Contributors and those
with public interest announcements,
the deadline for publication is:
2:00 pm on Monday of the
week prior to publication.
Within PV
379
5
OBITUARY
Sybil Graham
Nov. 27, 1927 – Jan. 26, 2016
A final farewell to a Special Lady who gave her heart and kindness to the not so fortunate children
of Puerto Vallarta. Sybil Graham passed away peacefully on January 26th in the hospital in Toronto,
ON, Canada. Over the past couple of years, she was failing slowly and went blind.
Over the years, she became well known in Puerto Vallarta for her kindness and giving nature,
especially at the Qualton Hotel (now “Hola”) and Villa del Palmar (she had time shares in both
places), but she also made many friends with the locals and people from all over Mexico.
For years, Sybil would dress up as Mrs. Claus to her good friend Bob McDonald’s Santa Claus. She
and I would collect clothing, school supplies and money donations from all her friends up in Kelowna,
BC, Canada. Then two couples would then drive down to PV with all the donations. Sybil’s own
suitcases were also full to the brim. She would spend two to three weeks sorting everything out in age
groups for the kids and then, on Christmas Day, one of the bellboys from the Qualton would give up
his morning off to take Santa and Mrs. Claus out to different areas to hand out all the goodies to each
of the age groups …and help translate. Bless her heart and soul for the work and dedication she gave
to the children of Puerto Vallarta to make sure that the less fortunate kids received a Christmas gift.
Thank you to all the staff from the Qualton and Villa del Palmar, and her friends there, for looking
after her and taking such good care of her. God bless you all for giving back to a very good friend
who did so much for others. She has certainly touched many lives.
May you rest in peace, my dear friend. You will always have a special place in our hearts. I know
that you will be looking down on us all in Puerto Vallarta. Your dear friend,
Marie Raeburn
Annual CANICA Breakfast
C
ANICA is a NGO operating with volunteers. Since 2003, it has
helped strengthen those families that live with a child suffering from cancer,
offering them means to improve their quality of life, gain knowledge and
the ability to make better decisions regarding the treatment of their children.
Along with 170 others in 88 countries, it is part of the International
Confederation of Childhood Cancer Parent Organizations, thus it is at the
vanguard of the very latest programs and care available to the children. You
are invited to join us so that more children with cancer will find HEALTH.
February - 2016
dentaloconnor@hotmail.com
Within PV
6 379
2016 Mardi Gras Carnaval!
I
magine dozens of floats and
hundreds of people sauntering up
the world-famous Malecon to Puerto
Vallarta’s ‘Old Town’ in a dazzling
array of sequins, feathers, leathers
and Speedos to celebrate the pride
and diversity of the special season, all
while more than 30,000 people cheer
from the sidelines. The 8th annual
parade wraps up the week-long
Carnaval festivities and promises
to continue to show the world our
vibrant community.
Everyone will be in a dancing mood
as Carnaval PV floats get set to coast
over the cobblestone streets pumping
music into the air on Tuesday night,
February 9th starting at the Sheraton
Hotel at 8 p.m. Children and adults
will snap up beads, toys and candy
as parade entries hurl goodies to
more than 30,000 spectators lining
the 3-km route. Event organizers
combine the party spirit with the
competitive spirit as judges tally
votes for the most creative entry to
award the anxiously-awaited $5,000peso cash prize. Carnaval PV is more
than a parade! We have added a jazz
and beer festival, movie screenings,
pet parade, mask making workshop
and more. Visit www.carnavalpv.
com today to join the parade, get
the latest schedule of events and to
follow us on Facebook.
*****
Mardi Gras is a Christian
celebration referring to events of the
Carnival celebrations, beginning on
or after the Christian feasts of the
Epiphany (Three King’s Day) and
culminating on the day before Ash
Wednesday. Mardi Gras is French for
“Fat Tuesday”, reflecting the practice
of the last night of eating richer, fatty
foods before the ritual fasting of the
Lenten season.
Related popular practices are
associated with celebrations before
the fasting and religious obligations
associated with the penitential season
of Lent.
While not observed nationally
throughout the United States, a
number of traditionally ethnic French
cities and regions in the country have
notable celebrations. Mardi Gras
arrived in North America as a French
Catholic tradition with the arrival of
the Le Moyne brothers in the late
17th century, when King Louis XIV
sent the pair to defend France’s claim
on the territory of Louisiane, which
Tuesday night,
February 9th
starting at the
Sheraton Hotel
at 8 p.m.
February - 2016
included what are now the states of
Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana and
part of eastern Texas.
The expedition, led by Iberville,
entered the mouth of the Mississippi
River on the evening of March 2,
1699. The party proceeded upstream
to a place on the east bank about 60
miles downriver from where New
Orleans is today, and made camp. This
was on March 3, 1699, Mardi Gras,
so in honor of this holiday, Iberville
named the spot Point du Mardi
Gras and called the nearby tributary
Bayou Mardi Gras. Bienville went
on to found the settlement of Mobile,
Alabama in 1702 as the first capital
of French Louisiana. In 1703, French
settlers in Mobile established the first
organized Mardi Gras celebration
tradition in what was to become
the United States. By 1720, Biloxi
had been made capital of Louisiana,
and in 1723, it was moved to New
Orleans, founded in 1718. The first
Mardi Gras parade held there took
place in 1837. The tradition in New
Orleans expanded to the point that
it became synonymous with the city
in popular perception, and embraced
by residents of New Orleans beyond
those of French or Catholic heritage.
Mardi Gras celebrations are part of
the basis of the slogan, Laissez les
bons temps rouler, (Let the good
times roll!)
Within PV
Medical Matters 2016
O
n February 15, 2016, at 9:00 a.m., the doors at the Hotel Marriott
CasaMagna will open for Medical Matters 2016. An all-day, no-charge event,
this is the chance for the English speaking community to meet, chat and ask
questions to a vast array of healthcare providers of all kinds, from hospitals
to chiropractors to insurance companies, physicians and much, much more!
In addition to the exhibits, there are three salons running continually with
speakers covering a wide range of topics. With nearly 4,000 people attending
379
7
last year, this makes Medical Matters one of the largest attended events in
Puerto Vallarta. The Marriott CasaMagna Hotel offers discounts in their
restaurants throughout the day, so one can plan their day according to the
speakers’ schedule, meander through the exhibits and have a delicious meal.
Puerto Vallarta boasts state-of-the-art medical care and physicians of all
specialties. Medical Matters was created for people to learn about everything
that is available in the area, and this is for all nationalities. We look forward
to seeing you there!
For further information please contact Pamela Thompson at
info@healthcareresourcespv.com
February - 2016
8 379
Within PV
By
W
e had great fun again at last
Monday’s version of the Vallarta
Tonight show. The KKM band
rocked the house with their Jamaican
tones, and Jessica from Alberta and
Mary Ann from Vallarta “most of
the year” squared off in a very close
match of our Name That Tune game.
Admittedly, the final TV theme song
was skewed a little, judging from the
puzzled look on Mary Ann’s face.
Doesn’t EVERYBODY know the
theme song from Hockey Night in
Canada?
My special guest was Ken Sebryk,
who along with his sweet wife Karrie,
are the godparents of the performing
arts for Vallarta’s ex-pat community.
It was a treat to chat with Ken and
learn more about what brought them
to Vallarta (serendipity), and what
keeps them going through more than
a decade of ups and downs (gifted
servitude). I dare say that nobody has
invested more time and money into
supporting the arts in our community,
than Ken and Karrie Sebryk. And
all of us - performers, promoters,
venues, and ticket-buyers - owe these
faithful ones our continuing gratitude
and support.
Todd Ringness
Ken and Karrie are now operating
the fifth version of their non-profit
Boutique Theatre in the charming
space above the Nacho Daddy
restaurant on Basilio Badillo in
the Romantic Zone. They host
my Vallarta Tonight Show, as well
as Mikki Prost in her Connie
Francis tribute, and wrapping up
this weekend is the Widows of
Pancho Villa, an original readers’
theatre production starring some
local favorites. More productions
are coming. For details, please visit:
BoutiqueTheatre.org
I would love have you come and
join us on Monday night for another
edition of the Vallarta Tonight
Show. Tickets are just $100 pesos
at the door, and if you bring a food
donation for the hungry, you can
trade your ticket for $100 pesos
beverage credit to enjoy during the
show. See you there!
We heard there were about 200 or
so people at the last dinner and Roy
Orbison tribute concert at El Rio
BBQ. That achievement along with
robust online ticket sales wins the
distinction as the top single-event
attendance thus far in the 2015/16
season. Congratulations to Kurt
and everyone at El Rio BBQ, who
pressed through and made it all
happen.
The next dinner and tribute show
at this amazing outdoor venue is
Saturday, February 13th, with The
Solitary Man, a tribute to Neil
Diamond, starring Will Chalmer.
Will’s portrayal of the stylings of
Neil Diamond are described as
“flawless”. A three-course dinner
including two drinks and the show,
starts at only $375 pesos, which is an
unbeatable deal. Or you can take in
the show only, from $150 pesos. Get
your tickets now at VallartaTickets.
com/elrio and we’ll see you there!
It’s fun to hear about popular and
sold-out shows, because there is
really nothing more powerful than
those two little words combined
together when attached to a ticketed
event. Some people have different
interpretations of the term, but
normally it means that tickets can
no longer be purchased in advance,
or that people are being turned away
at the door. And this phenomenon
occurs either with a highly anticipated
show, or when a new show gathers
plenty of momentum through word
of mouth. Of course, it also has
something to do with the size of the
house and seating capacity. But no
matter how it happens, it means that
something good is going on!
According to VallartaTickets.
com recent sold-out shows include:
Amy Armstrong in Spanglish (The
Palm); Paul Fracassi in Walk Like
a Man (Red Room); Well Strung
in Summer Lovin’ (The Palm);
and Miss Conception Goes to the
Movies (The Palm). Three cheers
for these performers and everyone
who does their part in bringing them
to our town!
In the old days, you could just
walk up to the door and buy tickets
to most any show you wanted to see.
But more visitors and higher profile
performers means more advance
ticket sales. And with that comes
the increased risk of sold-out shows.
Some venues do offer a waiting list
February - 2016
service, so you may want to check
directly with the box office about
this option. But your best bet is to
be a ticket-holder; do some planning
and get your tickets early, and then
plan to have a great night out!
Recently, I was on a bit of a food
binge... not sure why, but I couldn’t
get off the “Shrimp Me” train no
matter how hard I tried. And I took
my beautiful wife Sandra Gaye along
for the ride. It started innocently
enough with a shrimp burrito at our
favorite taco stand, Memo’s (corner
of Aguacate and Basilio Badillo).
Then came a yummy shrimp burger
at the Grand Odyssey Casino
restaurant in Nuevo Vallarta. Next
up was the luscious linguini Alfredo
with shrimp at Roberto’s (with
our faithful friends and HUGE
supporters of Vallarta’s shows and
performers, Bill and Karen Wines).
My “Shrimp Me” voyage finally
terminated with a delicious shrimp
burrito that Gaye and I shared...
while Miss Daisy (our terrier-mix
rescue) dug in the sand under our
table at Langostinos on the beach,
near the Los Muertos pier. I’ve
previously enjoyed the cheese
fondue with shrimp at Langostinos...
one of my favorites for sure. Truly,
plentiful and affordable shrimp is
one of the many special things about
life in Vallarta. Anyone else ready to
climb aboard the “Shrimp Me” train?
We hear the humpbacks are finally
closer in to our shorelines, so my
goal is to spot a few and enjoy that
precious gift this week. I hope that
you have some special times with
those you love this week, with a dash
of serendipity for good measure.
Blessings upon you!
Todd Ringness
Todd Ringness along with his wife Sandra
Gaye are the founders of Vallarta Tickets,
a Canadian online ticketing agency serving
the Banderas Bay region and beyond. You
can usually see this man about town, or
you can email: Todd@VallartaTickets.com
Beyond PV
More surveillance needed to stop their illegal harvest, says biologist
Seeking virility, men turn to turtle eggs
T
he illegal sale of turtle eggs
continues despite the effort and time
invested by all orders of government
to stop poaching, as consumers want
them in order to enhance sexual
virility or for use in witchcraft.
Just in the last 15 years, over half
a million eggs have been confiscated
in the states of Oaxaca, Guerrero
and Chiapas, and even as far inland
as the State of México. “The sale of
turtle eggs is closely tied to tradition,”
explained biologist Raúl Arriaga
Becerra in an interview with El
Universal. “They are believed to be
a great aphrodisiac.” The task entails
walking stretches of beach for up to
eight kilometers each way, every night
during nesting season.
Poachers are armed usually with
machetes, making the already
strenuous work dangerous for the
volunteers. Turtle eggs are sold on the
black market for between five and 25
pesos apiece, but can be bought for
a peso each if purchased in quantity,
usually in the thousands.
The consumption of the eggs
is widespread among the male
population, says Arriaga, as it is
believed they enhance virility. In
reality, the biologist said, they contain
high levels of cholesterol and minerals
such as cadmium, that can trigger
prostate cancer and other ailments. He
has been a strong proponent of the use
of drones, “as they can monitor a larger
area and guarantee its protection.”
“This has already been done in some
beaches in Oaxaca, but should extend
to all the sandy beaches of Quintana
Roo, Campeche, Veracruz, Guerrero,
Colima, Jalisco, Michoacán and
Sinaloa, among other states. A great
number of drones is needed to achieve
this,” he said. “One must remember that
out of 10,000 hatched turtles, only one
survives long enough to return to the
beach of its birth, 35 or 40 years later,
and in turn lay its own eggs,” explained
Ricardo Yepez, president of Fundación
Yepez, an organization based in
Veracruz that has worked for more than
50 years protecting, preserving and
researching marine turtles.
The damage caused to turtle species
by human interference is far greater
than the damage done by their natural
predators — crabs, fish and birds, experts
say. As well as pollution, fishing boats,
and global warming, the harvesting of
turtle flesh, shells and eggs is the main
threat to the marine reptiles today.
(Source: mexiconewsdaily.com, El Universal)
Check out the longest golf cart bridge in the world
T
he Riviera Nayarit boasts the
longest hanging bridge for golf carts
in the world, a recent build that aids
the flow of players between the
two Vidanta golf courses in Nuevo
Vallarta. The bridge is a quarter
of a mile long and connects the
Greg Norman course with the Jack
Nicklaus course via the Ameca River.
Tom Stickney, Director of the
Vidanta Golf Academy and head of
Vidanta Golf Sales and Marketing,
pointed out that iconic elements
such as this bridge between the two
courses will become a worldwide
draw for players.
“We have excellent golf courses in
the region, but this is the kind of thing
that makes a difference,” commented
Stickney, who invited all golf players
to come check out the new golf course
and the bridge, which is definitely out
of the ordinary.
There are other iconic elements
on the Riviera Nayarit’s golf
courses. For example, the famous
Hole 3B in the Punta Mita Pacífico
Course, also called the “Tail of the
Whale”, is known around the world
as the only green located on it’s
own natural island.
(Source: rivieranayarit.com)
February - 2016
379
9
10 379
Calendar / Directories
February - 2016
Calendar / Directories
379
11
International Friendship Club
ACTIVITIES CALENDAR
Airline Directory
AEROTRON
226-8440
AIR CANADA 01 800 719-2827
AIR TRANSAT 01 800 900-1431
ALASKA
01 800 252-7522
AMERICAN 01 800 904-6000
CONTINENTAL
See United
DELTA 01 800 266-0046
FRONTIER
01 800 432-1359
INTERJET
01 800 011-2345
SUN COUNTRY 01 800 924-6184
UNITED
01 800 864-8331
US AIRWAYS 01 800 428-4322
AEROMEXICO 01 800 021-4000
SOUTHWEST 01 800 435 9792
WESTJET
01 800 514 7288
MONDAY
Bridge Lessons - (Starting
Dec. 14) 9 a.m. free to members.
Guests $50 pesos.
Spanish Lessons - Intermediate
1, Intermediate 2, Advanced,
Tourist Spanish.
Go to IFCvallarta.com activities
calendar for class times & details.
TUESDAY
Tourist Spanish.
Home Tours depart Sea Monkey
at 10:30. See ad in this issue
for details.
WEDNESDAY
Home Tours depart Sea Monkey
at 10:30. See ad in this issue
for details.
THURSDAY
Tourist Spanish.
FRIDAY
Social Bridge - 2 to 5 p.m.
Free for members.
Guests $50 pesos.
Social Hour - 5 to 6 p.m.
SATURDAY
Mindful Meditation - 9:15
to 10:15 with Dan Grippo.
Free-will donation to the IFC.
Dharma Yoga - 10:30-11:15
a.m. No prior training necessary.
Chairs provided or bring a mat.
Voluntary donation of $50 pesos
minimum requested.
Solution to Sudoku on page 43
The IFC (International
Friendship Club) is located on
Insurgentes above the HSBC
by the northbound bridge
February - 2016
Solution to crossword on page 43
Beyond PV
12 379
Superior
Tours
allarta
This Mexican company is converting plastic
into affordable (and eco-friendly) housing
T
here are many problems on this
planet in need of remedy, two of which
are plastic pollution and extreme
poverty. Every year, enough plastic is
thrown away to circle the globe four
times. Much of this makes its way into
the oceans (an estimated 10-20 tons)
from landfills and continues to swirl
in garbage patches, leaking toxins into
the oceans and killing off wildlife that
consumes it unsuspectingly.
In addition, roughly 1.2 billion
people now live in extreme poverty
worldwide or subsist on less than
$1.25 per day. When confronted with
the statistics of the issue, it can seem an
overwhelming plight to remedy both at
once. But a Mexican startup company
believes it has found the solution to
rid the environment of plastic while
providing low-income families with
affordable housing. Unreasonable.is
reports that EcoDomum, founded by
Carlos Daniel González, is building
eco-friendly, durable, and affordable
housing from recycled plastic.
It is doing this by collecting plastic,
melting it down, and shaping it into
large panels which are used as walls
and roofs to construct insulated
houses. The company took off in
2013 when González, who has been
dismayed by the problem of plastic
pollution since a child, figured out a
way to turn plastic into a resource for
those who can afford little.
Reportedly, the process is quite
simple. First, the company collects
various kinds of plastic – from soda
bottles to old toys – then separates it to
find the types that melt without emitting
harmful fumes. Next, the workers put
the plastic into a machine to chop it up.
Then, the pieces are placed in an oven
that heats at 350oCelsius (over 600oF)
taking approximately half an hour to
melt the materials.
Finally, the liquid goes through a
hydraulic press, which simultaneously
compresses and crystallizes the plastic
into the shape of the panels. Once
cooled, these panels are then used to
construct 430-460 sq. ft. houses.
Each panel is nearly 8’ long, 4’ wide,
and approximately one inch thick; a
repurposed house requires 80 panels
to construct. This isn’t a problem for
the sole EcoDomum plant, however,
which transforms and repurposes 5.5
tons of what was once plastic waste
into 120 panels each day. Each house
has two rooms plus one bathroom, one
living room and a kitchen.
“It only takes seven days to build a
house that uses two tons of plastic,”
said González. “[A house] keeps you
warm, the costs are low, it’s great for
the environment, and it will last 100
years without falling apart. These are
just some of our value propositions.”
Certain plastic varieties can take
up to 1,000 years to decompose and
are incredibly durable; therefore,
these houses have an advantage over
traditional homes, as they are expected
to last a very long time.
Because EcoDomum partnered with
a subsidized housing program which
underwrites some of the building
costs, families can obtain one of
the houses for around $5,000 pesos
(roughly $280 USD).
In addition, the company is also
stimulating the local economy by
paying trash collectors a higher rate
for their work. González shares
that most trash collectors in Mexico
are paid abusive wages by large
companies, around 1.5 pesos (6 cents)
for 1 kilogram (2.2 pounds). His
aim is to form alliances with these
February - 2016
companies to ensure a constant supply
of material for his company’s panels,
and also, treat the workers as respected
individuals. He has nearly doubled
the wages of several trash collectors.
Growing up in the state of Puebla in
Mexico, González has been dreaming
of a way to remedy the issue of plastic
pollution and extreme poverty for years.
He said: “As a kid, I remember
seeing all of the plastic and the
contamination it caused, for us and
for the animals. I’ve always cared
about the environment, so I decided
I had to create and lead a solution. I
live in a place with a lot of poverty
and problems of marginalization.
Some people live in truly deplorable
conditions, places you can’t even call
houses. My vision is very clear. I have
the conviction to help the most people
I can have a dignified life by getting
rid of extreme poverty, cleaning up
my country at the same time.”
His vision is transforming hundreds
of peoples’ lives. So far, the startup
has constructed five hundred 135sq.ft.
rooms for the city of Huauchinango,
Puebla. 150 more houses will soon be
built for the city of Chiconcuhutla, and
EcoDomum is working on a contract
from the city of Pahuatlán for another
150 homes. 2016 will be a big year for
the company as it seeks to expand into
a larger warehouse and start expanding
all throughout Mexico.
“This has the potential to grow
exponentially,” said González. “The
problem of trash is huge in my
country. In the whole world, there’s a
ton of trash. In the next year, I want to
grow the company ten-fold. First, we
will concentrate in Mexico, but in 3-5
years, we want to go to other countries.
There is poverty everywhere. The
world is a house for everyone, and
it’s worth it to fight for expanding this
business. I will dedicate the rest of my
life to this.”
(Source: www.trueactivist.com)
Beyond PV
379 13
Counterfeit money totaled 99 Million Pesos
The
number of counterfeit banknotes in
circulation in Mexico rebounded during 2015,
putting an end to a two-year streak of declining
numbers. The Bank of México has reported 71
fake banknotes per million in circulation for a
total of 306,063 bills, an increase of 12.5% over
the 272,070 bills detected during 2014.
The value of the counterfeit money was
equivalent to 99.1 million pesos (US $5.4
million), with the most common fake bills being
denominations of 20, 100 and 500 pesos. The latter
denomination was the most frequent, representing
9% of all detected counterfeit currency. Despite the
discouraging news, authorities expect that a blow
against counterfeiters last December may have
enough impact to reduce their output this year.
A joint operation between the Attorney
General’s office and the Federal Police resulted
in the arrest of several people allegedly involved
in a counterfeiting scheme and the seizure of
equipment and supplies.
The Bank of México estimated that the gang
could have been responsible of putting into
circulation nearly 20% of the fake bills detected in
2015. Bank official Alejandro Alegre recommended
that people check their bills and coins.
“The central bank works continuously on issuing
more secure banknotes and informing the general
public about the different security elements. These
efforts are of little use if users don’t check their notes;
they do not realize that they will be the ones to lose
out,” he said. He suggested users can quickly check
security elements noticeable by sight and touch in
February - 2016
order to determine the authenticity of a paper or
plastic bill. All bills have a watermark with an
image that can be seen when the bill is backlit, and
text, which has a raised feel to it, should be crisp and
clear. Alegre warned users against keeping bills in
circulation if they doubt their authenticity, and
take them instead to the nearest bank. However,
there is a risk in doing so. If the institution can’t
determine the note’s validity it will be sent to
the Bank of México, and the user will receive a
receipt for its value. If the central bank finds that
the note is valid, its value will be reimbursed by
the financial institution but if it is determined to
be fake, no reimbursement will be made.
Alegre
acknowledged
that
criminal
organizations have greater access than ever to
advanced technological tools that allow them
to reproduce banknotes, although of lower
quality, but he also said there now exists better
coordination between the federal and state
governments to address the crime.
(Source: mexiconewsdaily.com, El Universal)
14 379
The 7 Arts
Miss Richfield 1981 dishes about
‘Red Lips To The White House’
N
ow in her third season at The
Palm, the hilarious Midwestern
maven, Miss Richfield 1981, stars
in her all new show, ‘Red Lips To
The White House’. Miss R. is
kicking off her US Presidential
campaign in Mexico. Proving
she will be the best ‘Commander
in Chiffon’, she will lay out her
platform with all new songs,
videos, and even more fun audience
interaction, inviting all to join her
campaign #BigHairMatters!
Miss R.’s all-live performances
have received critical acclaim with
The New York Post declaring Miss
Richfield 1981, “The must-see act in
Provincetown.” The Chicago SunTimes describes Miss Richfield as
“Garrison Keillor meets Mary Tyler
Moore”. In addition to selling out
theaters and nightclubs each year in
New York, Chicago, San Francisco,
Philadelphia,
Atlanta,
South
Florida, and Minneapolis, Miss
R. continues to fill the Paramount
Theater at the Crown & Anchor
in Provincetown, MA, nightly,
throughout the summer.
Her
debut two seasons ago at The Palm
Cabaret and Bar in Puerto Vallarta
was a huge success and PV has
been in love with her ever since.
Miss Richfield’s national appeal
includes
riotous
appearances
on “The Tonight Show with Jay
Leno”, “Today” on NBC, “Cake
Boss” on TLC, and, most recently,
as a television spokesperson for
Orbitz, Atlantis Events, and the
City of Philadelphia.
Press contributor, Jacqui Birchall,
caught up with “Miss R.” (as she
is affectionately known), before
Now playing at The Palm
she boarded a bus for the border
and asked about her Minnesota
upbringing, how she got her start
in showbiz, and all about her new
comedy show at The Palm.
JB: First, how did Miss Richfield
1981 come to be?
Miss R: Beauty is the center
point of my career, winning the
title of Miss Richfield 1981 in
February - 2016
Richfield, Minnesota, where butter
is a spice and gravy is a beverage.
It’s also Minnesota’s first suburb
and the home of our international
airport! Yes, there’s a bit of a draft
when the 747’s skim our rooftops,
but that doesn’t bother me because
I always wear my hair with the
chinstrap down.
JB: Tell us about your new show
“Red Lips to the White House.”
Miss R: Does chiffon give you
a lead? It’s not a show! It’s a
movement! I’m going to be the
next Commander in Chiffon! And
I’m kicking off my US Presidential
campaign in Mexico! I want to get
that Mexican vote before Donald
and the others start showing up. Of
course it’s going to be another one
of my highly produced “progrums”
with all new music, new videos and
new fun with the audience! I hope
everybody will come to hear about
my big plans and see my darling
red, white & blue outfits that I’ll be
parading around this year!
JB: You are a wonderful saw
player. How did you learn that
skill?
Miss R: It was the talent that
won me the title of Miss Richfield
in our city’s beauty pageant on July
4, 1981. I was going to do a duet
with my puppet, Chopped Liver,
but all that changed when Trudy
Olson, one of the other contestants,
was twirling 3 flaming batons and
lost control, taking out all the other
11 contestants and my puppet in
a terrible fire! So I was the only
contestant left, but had no talent!
Then one of our biggest, toughest,
most burly Richfield Firefighters
The 7 Arts
by the name of Hal, which is short
for Cynthia, pulled me aside. I
still have the mark on my left arm
to prove it. Hal taught me how to
play the saw and also how to keep
it sharp and shiny!
JB: Your lips and glasses are
amazing. They symbolize Miss
Richfield. How did they come to
be?
Miss R: That story goes back
a ways! As a naturally talented
child, my parents wanted to give
me music lessons. They couldn’t
afford much, so they enlisted
the help of my Uncle Clarence
to give me whistling lessons. It
was a win-win, because we didn’t
have to buy an instrument and
Clarence was recently released
from prison and had plenty of
free time! Old Clarence had one
of the best puckers, so his prison
buddies would often recall. So I
credit all those years of whistling
for begetting my lovely lips. And
those fashionable glasses are the
result of staring directly at the sun
for most of my early childhood.
JB: How much fun was Cake
Boss?
Miss R: What a surprise to be
included on another episode of
Cake Boss! For this installment I
brought the cake to the New York
City Pride Family Movie Night on
Chelsea Pier. Buddy and his crew
made a gorgeous rainbow colored
cake, which was as delicious as it
was beautiful. This was my second
cake with Buddy! Six years ago
the cake was based on Jesus and
Christmas, and this time it was
homos and children. So I guess
you never know!
JB: Matching undies! Does it
matter? Cotton, nylon or silk?
Miss R. Yes, just ask Britney
Spears! I tend to steer away from
silk, as the smallest moisture stains
and with the smooth texture, I keep
falling off my chair when I sit down.
So I prefer cotton and nylon and
cotton. I think layers are always a
good idea for those of us who spell
with our legs, particularly words
with “U’s” and “V’s”.
JB: I heard a rumor that you are
trying online dating. How is that
working for you?
Miss R: OK, who is the blabber
mouth?! Yes, I am online when I
fire up my Apple IIE and can get
a dial tone! It’s been challenging
because every man I encounter
always wants to see my “rack”. So,
I’ve taken every photo imaginable,
showing not just salt and pepper,
but also the more exotic crap I
never use, like parsley, rosemary
and sage! This computer dating
thing is nuts!
JB: I hear you are a Country
Western dancer. Tell us about that.
Miss R: I simply adore twostepping across the floor in the arms
of a handsome cowpoke, which is
often code for “lesbian”. It’s so
special because it’s coordinated
and involves moving together as
one. I know the kids today love
jumping around to that pots and
pans music! But give me a Hank
Williams number or let me hear
Garth or Reba chirp out a toetapping country tune and I’m in
Heaven!
JB: Is there a movie in your
future?
Miss R: Probably not, because
when I get off the bus I’m hungry
and rarely have enough quarters
to watch a movie and get snacks.
Quite frankly, once I hit the vending
machines for a decaf and chips, I’m
just lucky to get through half an
episode of “Matlock”!
JB: Is there anything else you’d
like your fans to know?
Miss R: I like to end my
interviews with a word of advice.
“Always pack a smile in your
handbag!” my mother used to tell
me. “Because you can lose your
money, you can lose your lipstick,
and you can lose your dignity! But
as long as you’ve got a smile, you’ll
always be able to find some trucker
to give you a ride home!”
Performances of ‘Red Lips to The
White House’ at The Palm continue
to Feb. 15. Big crowds are again
anticipated this season, so please
reserve early (See link below).
Also playing
at The Palm
Well-Strung, the hunky and
talented string quartet, is now
playing their popular blend of
classical strings and pop hits in
‘Summer Lovin’ through Feb.
19. Bohemia Viva continues to
soar in popularity with their own
show featuring sizzling Latin
rhythms and beautiful harmonies.
Next show Feb. 13 at 7pm. Kim
Kuzma and her ‘Acústico’ live
February - 2016
379 15
band, with their original Latin
and pop “mash-ups”, plays every
Wed. & Sun. at 7pm all season.
And Miss Conception recently
debuted her all-new extravaganza
‘Miss Conception Goes To The
Movies’ to rave reviews and soldout houses. She plays Mondays and
Thursdays at 9:30pm. Reservations
are suggested.
The Palm is well-known for
bringing top notch, cutting-edge
entertainment to Vallarta. Inside
you’ll find an intimate, completely
refurbished 90-seat cabaret with
outstanding sound and lighting,
creating the ambiance of cabarets
from days gone by. Shows are
scheduled seven days per week
with two different shows nightly
through early April, 2016. The
Palm also offers matinees at 4:00
p.m. on selected shows.
The Palm is non-smoking (a patio
is provided for smokers), located at
508 Olas Altas, in the Romantic
Zone on the south side of town.
Tickets may be purchased online
24 hours a day online, and at The
Palm’s box office, open at 10 a.m.
daily (222-0200). A full calendar
of performances, information and
online tickets are available at www.
ThePalmPV.com. You can also
find the Palm on Facebook at www.
facebook.com/ThePalmPV/
16 379
The 7 Arts
Dinner theatre offers sweet dinner-and-a-show deals
Valentines and Villa for Vallarta
P
uerto Vallarta’s only dinner theatre,
The Boutique, offers exciting evenings of
dinner-and-a-show options.
The theatre is host to many entertaining
events, located upstairs at Nacho Daddy’s,
287 Basilio Badillo. Delicious 3-course
dinners are served at 5 p.m., with the shows
at 6 p.m.
Diners can choose a steak, chicken, or
vegetarian meal - or order from the Nacho
Daddy “Mex-Tex”-style menu. Tickets can
be ordered for dinner and a show, or the
show only, at www.vallartatickets.com, or
by calling 1 562-336-4552. You can also
stop by in person to pick up your tickets at
Nacho Daddy daily, from 11 a.m. to closing.
Check for ongoing updates and fun facts
from The Boutique Dinner Theatre and
Nacho Daddy’s on Facebook.
Thursday through Saturday, Feb. 4-6
- An original readers’ theater presentation
of a new work, “The Widows of Pancho
Villa” makes its international stage debut.
RosAngelica Moreno, a Mexican historian
and writer, put this show together to explore
the myths and truths behind Pancho Villa.
“Even though the Mexican Revolution of
1910-1920 is the most prolific chapter in
Latin American literature, Pancho Villa
is the most misunderstood character in
history,” Moreno said. “The fact that I was
raised in California, away from my native
Mexico, further distanced me from the
historical truths behind the myth.
The North American perception of him as a
murdering bandit is hard to get past.”
Saturday and Sunday, Feb. 12-13 - The
crowd-pleasing band Time 2 Play returns to
present its annual Valentine’s Day concerts, with
love.
In April 2010, three old friends sharing brunch
at Daiquiri Dicks asked themselves, “Why not
us?” Inspired by the musical vitality of Puerto
Vallarta, they decide to jump-start a passion that
had lain dormant for more than 40 years. They
would once again sing and play together.
Don MacLachlan and Garry Carson met as
part-time musicians and students in Edmonton,
Alberta, in the 1960s. In the last four years,
the six-person ensemble has entertained local
audiences with tight four-part vocals, and
their own instrumentations, on piano, guitar,
violin, bass and drums. Every performance
knits seamlessly together, with the easy banter
and spontaneous humor that only long-time
friendship, mutual respect, and a shared love of
performing can ensure.
The programs include blues, jazz, country,
folk, classical, as well as hilarious novelty
numbers, all delivered with virtuosity, humor
and heart. “We want to play something for
everyone, and we also want to reflect the diverse
musical experiences of our group,” Carson said.
Time 2 Play has also performed at the Paradise
Community Centre, The Red Room, The
Chacala Music Festival, and private functions.
Valentine’s Day, Sunday, Feb. 14 “Unforgettable: A Valentine’s Celebration
of Love and Friendship,” will be presented
Free live music and more
T
he renovated entertainment pavilion, upstairs at Nacho
Daddy’s, is also the place to be for free live music and dancing,
starting at 8:30 p.m., almost every night.
Mondays - Toe-tapping rockabilly with “The Joker Trio Band.”
Tuesdays - Vintage swing tunes by “Dat Swang Thang” are
kicked off with free swing dance lessons. Lead singer is Sean
Moore, an owner of Nacho Daddy’s.
by Mikki Prost and Victor Vega. Special
surprise guest singers will join Prost in
recreating some of your favorite love songs
from the not-too-distant past. “Silly Love
Songs,” “Fever,” and “Unforgettable” are
among the musical numbers.
Mondays - An exciting new variety
show about the local entertainment
scene,“Vallarta Tonight” is brought to
you by Todd Ringness. Cost is 100 pesos,
which can be used as a credit toward food
or drinks. Bring a donation for the food
bank, and your admission is free. The KKM
House Band will accompany, with Kevon,
Kevin and Maurice. Ringness is the owner
and operator of www.vallartatickets.com,
whose entertaining weekly column, “The
Man About Town,” appears in the PV Mirror.
Tuesdays - On Tuesdays, the star and
creator of her own tribute shows, Mikki
Prost performs. “Where The Boys Are:
A Tribute to Connie Francis,” is the
popular original show. Learn more about
the incredible life and career of singing
sensation Connie Francis, while looking
back at catchy songs from yesteryear, like
“Lipstick On Your Collar.”
Feb. 18-27 - “The Last Romance,” a
funny play about finding love later in life,
is being directed by Ralph Hyman. Two
strangers slowly hit it off at a dog park, only
to be challenged by the man’s meddling
sister. The cast will be Carlo Gagliano,
Alice Averett, Catherine Beeghly, Ocean
Olsen, and a Chihuahua named Snickers.
Wednesdays - Reggae tunes with the KKM Band.
Thursdays - Blues and other tunes rock the house with “The
Chris Kenny Band.” Frontwoman Chris Kenny is a Canadian
singer-songwriter who’s made a name for herself entertaining PV
audiences for years.
Fridays - A big crowd gathers each week for “The Texas
Embassy Blues Band,” also featuring singer Sean Moore.
Saturdays - The local band “Los Carajos” performs.
Also on Mondays, test your brainpower with a free Trivia contest
at 5 p.m.
February - 2016
The 7 Arts
Who are Los Bambinos?
Enjoying live local music is a great way to get to know a city.
In
Puerto Vallarta, there are a lot of music options, but Los Bambinos
really bring the joyous culture of Puerto Vallarta on the stage in their
weekly show. This season, the four Morales Brothers offer you: Los
Bambinos Present | the Kings of Rock n’ Roll… a two-hour cabaretstyle show that brings masterful guitar and soaring harmonies to a
feel-good selection of songs. The show includes Latino selections,
379 17
Los Bambinos originals and of course a collection of favorites from
rock n’ roll artists, influential enough to be considered “Kings.”
For over a decade Los Bambinos have performed Puerto Vallarta’s
Romantic Zone, earning their reputation for their fantastic renditions
of international classic rock artists like the Everly Brothers, the
Beatles, the Beach boys and The Four Seasons & Frankie Valli, to
name just a few. While focusing on composing their own original
songs as well as show performance music in afternoon rehearsals,
three of the four brothers completed University studies in the morning.
The eldest now holds degrees in Tourism and Law, the eldest middle
in Business Administration with Strategic Marketing specialization,
and the second youngest is a licensed Accountant. The youngest
completed the first semester of a competitive Chef program in 2015.
The talent and harmonies that only brothers can capture come out
on stage at each and every one of their performances. Whether you
hire them to bring the lively excitement of music to your private
celebration, or join them for their weekly Tuesday night show, Los
Bambinos guarantee that you will enjoy their music!
Come see their brotherly love and musical creativity come out in
their season concert: Los Bambinos Present | the Kings of Rock n’
Roll will be held this Tuesday night from 8 to 10 p.m. at the Roxy
Rock House. Bring friends and reserve your table early for the best
seat in the house. VIP available. Information and tickets at www.
losbambinosmusic.com or 222-4357, English spoken. Tickets only
available at the Roxy on the evening of the show. See you there!
The Roxy Rock House has live music every night at 217 I. L.
Vallarta, in the Romantic Zone on the south side of town.
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Act II Entertainment
The biggest entertainment venue in the bay offering the very best in entertainment!
“Best Puerto Vallarta entertainment destination!” - TripAdvisor
IN THE MAINSTAGE AT
ACT II ENTERTAINMENT!
Sordid Lives ...
A black comedy about white trash
Thursdays, Fridays & Saturdays, Feb. 5, 6,
11, 12, 13, 17, 18, 20, 25, 26, 27 at 7 p.m.
Opening Weekend
The return of SORDID LIVES by popular
demand. After a 6-week sold out run three years
ago, Vallarta has spoken: “Bring back Sordid
Lives!” Starring most of the original cast and
Director Danny Mininni, Act II is excited to have
the show that launched The Act II Entertainment
complex on its own MAIN STAGE.
As three generations of a family in a small
Texas town gather for a funeral, we learn the
hilarious, sad, trashy truth of the “Sordid Lives.”
Sometimes it takes a death to bring a family
together. The all-star Vallarta casts puts a
comedic twist on a story of unconditional love,
acceptance and “coming out” in a Texas family.
The eccentric cast of characters comes together
when their intertwining lives prepare for the
funeral of the family matriarch.
Reprising their roles - Elizabeth Ensor as
Noleta, Ron Spencer as Brother Boy, Joan
Houston as Bitsy Mae, Patti Hirsch as Sissy, Polly
Cooper as La Vonda, Jamie Coates as O’Dell,
Lee Bright as Rev. Barnes and Mary Amelotte
as LaTrelle. Joining the cast Hal Bonta as G.W,
Steve Jackson as Wardell, Cherry DeLorenzo as
Dr. Eve and Barbara Ann Renee as Juanita.
The Voice of Vallarta - Season 3 Every Sunday at 8 p.m.
Broadway Week with Special Guest Star
Sutton Lee Seymour
The long awaited week and Vallarta favorite
is back: BROADWAY WEEK. Join us as the
10 contestants battle it out by performing songs
from the best of best Broadway has to offer. Last
week, the show ended in a 3-way tie, leaving it
in the hands of the audience. No one was sent
home so join us for a very dramatic double
elimination. Hosted once again by Juan Pablo
Hernandez who turns SPANGLISH into an art
form! This year taking the judges chairs are: Act
II Musical director and VOV producer, Head
judge Alfonso Lopez. Vallarta Showman Edgar
Sanchez and weekly guest judges. The Voice
of Vallarta will run every Sunday till the big
closing night March 20th. Mamas and the Papas, California Dreamin’
Extended due to popular demand
after 7 sold out houses
Every Monday in February at 7 p.m.
California Dreamin’ is the music of the Mamas
and the Papas, presented LIVE, in the songs and
the characters of the 4 singers, with revealing
personal monologues. The show is a musical
time machine that takes you back to when the
folk era turns on and the psychedelic 60s pop
hits and acid hits shaped a generation. The
music scene from Laurel Canyon to the flower
children of San Francisco. The Kinsey Sicks Electile Dysfunction 2016:
Hard Choices, Firm Positions
Feb. 6, 10, 11, 13 and 16 at 9:30 World Premiere!
Join The Kinsey Sicks in the world premiere of
a new musical! Join Rachel, Trampolina, Trixie
and Winnie as they campaign to become the first
Dragapella® Beautyshop Quartet to be elected
President of the United States on the Republican
ticket. Watch as the gals take (a)back America
February - 2016
The 7 Arts
by out-pandering, out-conspiracy theorizing, and
out-outlandishing even the most cynical of the
current crop of Presidential candidates through
sharp-witted original songs and biting parodies
that are delivered in glorious four-part harmony.
Both Sides Now - The Joni Mitchell Show
Wednesdays in February at 7 p.m. Both Sides Now is a theatrical presentation of
the music of Joni Mitchell, performed live with
the Don and Rhonda band, and starring Canadian
singer Jenny Allen. The show presents 2 sides
of Joni’s music - acoustic folk and progressive
rock/jazz.
Some of the songs featured are: Both
Sides Now, Circle Game, Chelsea Morning,
California, and Woodstock. Act 2 includes
songs such as Raised on Robbery, Free Man
in Paris, and the Joni Mitchell collaborations
with Charles Mingus. Also included is a song
called Night of the Iguana, written by Joni about
Puerto Vallarta. IN THE RED ROOM CABARET
Sutton Lee Seymour - The Way-Off Broad!
continues to perform to
packed houses and rave reviews!
Every Monday and Saturday 9:30
“Sutton Lee Seymour had me laughing so hard
I cried and soiled my pants!” - TripAdvisor
379 19
best show in PV. She has a magnificent voice
and can sing a wide range of songs, along with
her talented husband Ray.”
“Energy and versatility make for a super
show” 5 star review TripAdvisor – “Lorena
Peril and Ray Jon are a perfect fit for live music
lovers of Vallarta... The energy they bring to the
room sustains throughout... I’ll buy tickets for
anything you two put together. Just keep playing
and making us all happy...”
¨Sutton Lee Seymour was one of the best drag
shows I ever saw¨ - TripAdvisor
¨This show has raised the bar for entertainment
in PV¨ - Tom Berns
“Sutton Lee Seymour - A great night out” - 5
Stars Review - TripAdvisor
“OMG!! What a great show at Act II
Stages!! By the end of the two-hour show, we
were so sad to see it end. I had laughed and
laughed... Sutton has made his way into my
heart.... forever. I am a fan for life and will see
his show again and again!!” – 5 star review TripAdvisor - Marsha Ward Ross Lorena Peril and Ray Jon Star
in Married and Looking
Tuesdays and Fridays at 7:30
Latina Las Vegas headliner Lorena Peril has
been entertaining audiences on the Las Vegas
Strip since her arrival in 2005. She headlined as
the Lead Singer in Anita Mann’s hit production
“Fantasy” at the Luxor Hotel and Casino. The
self-taught performer headlined in Michael
Chambers’ “Sin City Bad Girls” at the Las Vegas
Hilton where she met her talented lead male
Vocalist and Guitar Player Ray Jon Narbaitz III.
Lorena also performed as the Lead Principal in
“American Superstars” at the Stratosphere Hotel
and Casino! And performed the role of Sandy in
the Las Vegas production of ¨Grease”.
“Lorena Peril - Best Show in PV” 5 star review
TripAdvisor – “Wow! Lorena Peril is simply the
February - 2016
3-Time 2015 Horizon Tropic Rock Award
Winner Brittney Kingery
Every Monday at 7:30
“Brittany Kingery tropical rock singer” - 5
star review - TripAdvisor
“What a show!!” - 5 star review - TripAdvisor
Brittney Kingery is the one show NOT to
miss, never before has Vallarta seen a talent
like Brittney with her sold out houses it’s no
wonder that this three time Horizon Tropic Rock
award winner has taken Vallarta by storm selling
as many Award winning CDs as Tickets. Her
music is addicting and you will find yourself
singing her songs long after the show has ended.
¨Brittney Kingery is truly a star¨ Brittney and
her band have chemistry, and together they are a
Vallarta hit you will see for many years to come.
Continued on Next Page
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Hedda Lettuce - Big Queen Small Throne
The 6-time Drag Queen of the Year Winner
Extended due to popular demand
Thursdays & Fridays Feb. 5, 11, 12,
18, 19, 25, 26 at 9:30 and Feb. 27 at 7:30
“Hedda Lettuce tosses up a night of storytelling,
ribald stand-up comedy and live singing, including
original comedic music, peppered with parodies of
old time favorites. Expect a night of uproarious
laughter from one of New York City’s most
infamous queens.” - Michael Musto OUT.COM
hails Hedda as “The undisputed grand dame of the
drag comedy set. The green goddess is hilarious,
quick witted and a great singer.” Carly Ozard - Midler on the Roof
Feb. 6, 11, 13, 16, 18, 20 Tuesdays,
Thursdays and Saturdays at 7:30 Bette Midler and Carly Ozard go together like
peanut butter and chocolate, a natural match of
two equally outrageous talents aligned with
some wonderful material. Matching some
very funny personal anecdotes with Midler
covered tunes has provided Ozard with her
best show to date - concise, well crafted and
beautifully sung… Of course, she’s also a fine
comedienne who creates an instant rapport with
her audiences. Ozard’s youthful obsession
with Midler has successfully come full circle.
The international press loves Carly Ozard,
here is what they are saying - Praise for Midler
on the Roof!
“Carly prominently took center stage…
not only to regale us with the divinity of The
Divine Miss M songbook, but to entertain us
as a monologist. Perhaps one of my favorite,
most articulate and well spoken in years.”
“A talent that has to be seen and heard to be
believed, expect this act to go seriously plus
sized in the near future and deservedly so!”
Chi Chi Rones - Steel Cojones Voices In My Head
Feb. 2, 16, 23 at 9:30
Internationally acclaimed entertainer and
Emmy Award Winner Chi Chi Rones returns
to Puerto Vallarta at ACT II STAGES - RED
ROOM for her 5th Season with her one-woman
show - Steel Cojones! A theatrical experience
you will not soon forget! Come be amazed
and hear Chi Chi Rones as she sings and
tells stories while impersonating the greatest
voices that ever lived! Uncanny impressions
of Judy Garland, Billie Holiday, Bette Davis,
Shirley Bassey and more! See the hilarious
reading of Mommie Dearest only done by
Bette Davis, as well as a triple threat treat as
Garland, Eartha Kitt and Bette Davis sing
Sondheim! All live vocals! Chi Chi Rones
performs all over the world in Spain, UK,
Scotland, Mexico and the USA. She has also
brought her cabaret act to many cruise ships
for the past 15 years
Dueling Drag Divas open to 3 sold out shows in a row
Sundays & Wednesdays at 9:30
Dueling Drag Divas is a live singing (absolutely no
lip sync), full octane, back to back comic celebrity
impersonation show. Emmy Award winner Chi
Chi Rones and NY Times acclaimed impressionist
Joanna are proud to be returning to the Red Room.
Come see them duke it out onstage as Dueling
Tina Turners, Adele vs. Amy Winehouse, battling
Judy Garlands, Kris Jenner vs. Caitlyn Jenner,
Streisand vs. Midler, bombastic Bette Davis, Karen
Carpenter vs. Mama Cass, The Witches of Wicked
and Frozen, Liza Minelli, Madonna, Cher, Ursula
from The Little Mermaid! Joanna and Chi Chi
Rones perform their shows all over the world to
sold-out houses!
Paul Fraccassi 8 sold out shows in a row!
Legends of the 50s and 60s - Sundays at 7:30
and Walk Like A Man - Wednesdays at 7:30
“Paul Fracassi - Walk Like A Man” - This young
man is one of the most talented singers I have EVER
SEEN ... Can`t Wait to see this show Again!! This
kid going to be a STAR!! - TripAdvisor
“Paul Fracassi Sings” - He sounds just like
Frankie Valli. If you get a chance to see him don’t
miss it... - TripAdvisor “Run, don’t walk!” Totally a star. He stunned
his audience, I am unofficially adopting Paul
Fracassi to be my grandson. - Evy Pixley - 5 Stars
review - TripAdvisor
Act II Entertainment STAGES complex is located on the 2nd floor at 300 Insurgentes
(corner of Basilio Badillo) in the Romantic Zone on the south side of town. Tel.: 222-1512.
Tickets can be purchased at www.vallartatickets.com or go to www.actiientertainment.com for show details.
Box office open daily at 11 a.m., with a 2nd box office location across the street from Garbo’s on Pulpito street.
February - 2016
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February - 2016
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Map
February - 2016
Map
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Angeline Kyba
Artist’s Reception
U
nfortunately, due to an error on the part of the PV Mirror,
the announcement for my show February 4th was not included
in last week’s edition. Therefore I will have another showing
of my work on Thursday, February 11th from 4 to 8 p.m. at 635
Cuauhtémoc, in downtown Puerto Vallarta.
I quote artist / critic Edwin Treitler, who wrote this about
my work. “In Angeline Kyba’s paintings, dancers leap about
in slashes of color that animate their bodies, faces, masks and
costumes in a swirl of celebration. Everything seems to be
whipped out of air in constant agitation and there is a radiance
of light pervading the canvas, a sort of fiery substance that
invades nature as well as the figures.
Although Angeline’s work is always modern, she brings to us
her own experience of indigenous México. It is an experience
of Mexican southern sunlight and color, of her 20 years plus
spent living in Yelapa and Puerto Vallarta. Her subject matter
elevates the traditions that have made México one of the few
countries with a living indigenous population that participates
in the culture.”
The National Geographic recently used Kyba’s portrait
“Carmen” for a second printing. Angeline has the honor of
having her painting “Miriam Reclining” accepted into the
prestigious Bienal de Monterrey. Her painting, “Bésame” is the
cover of the book Erotic Journeys.
Nature forms a large part of my recent work and I quote
now from a Sioux song: “Out of the earth I sing for them the
animals.”
Come join us for a showing of recent paintings at Kyba’s studio
at 635 Cuauhtémoc in downtown Puerto Vallarta, on Thursday,
February 11th, 2016, from 4 to 8 p.m. Refreshments and canapés
will be served. Tel.: 222-4238 angie@angelinekyba.com
Please join us for Academy Awards Film
Week at Art Vallarta, 213 Pilitas,
The San Franciscan. Tickets by donation.
You may make your donation during business
hours from Monday-Friday, 10 a.m. – 4 p.m.,
or at the door.
February - 2016
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379 25
Di Vino Dante – Not just a wine bar!
D
i Vino Dante is evolving!
Apart from wines, they have one
of the top bar tenders in Puerto
Vallarta – Dan Rodriguez. He has
created many signature drinks and
continues to compete in National
mixology competitions.
Also
added to the menu 2 years ago, are
many full plate dinners, not just
tapas.
Recently opened was the 3rd floor
garden terrace for special events
and weddings. The terrace was
christened with an Italian wedding
from Chicago on January 16th,
2016. And last week they also
began offering live jazz 4 nights
a week (Tuesdays, Wednesdays,
Thursdays and Fridays from 7 to
10 p.m.) in season. Please drop
by and enjoy the Soft Latin Sax by
musician Rogelio Rangel Trejo.
Ask for Gena - Gena Guarniere
was born and raised in the family
businesses – “Pizza Joe” Italian
restaurant and “Galleria Dante” Fine
Art gallery in Puerto Vallarta. During
her second year at the University
of British Columbia in Vancouver,
B.C., she took “Wine Science” to
complete her Science credit.
It changed her life. Growing up
in an Italian family, surrounded by
art and after numerous summers
in Italy, she had never developed
a taste for wine. With her interest
peaked, and a new found love of
wine, she took more wine classes,
in what free time she had in
completing her Fine Arts degree.
After studying wine theory and
tasting hundreds of bottles of wine,
she dreamed of how to work in the
business. With jobs being scarce,
the idea of moving home to open a
wine bar became a reality. In all her
wine classes, very little emphasis
was put on Mexican wines. One
thing Gena discovered on her return
to Vallarta was the number of great
Mexican wines available.
So the idea started to form – focus
February - 2016
on Mexican and Latin American
wines, in an old Hacienda,
surrounded by some of the finest
Artists in Mexico. As her love
for Mexican wine grew, so did her
desire to make people aware of these
wines. Gena founded Di Vino Dante
in 2013, a wine bar that focuses
primarily on Mexican Wine.
Parts of Mexico have a rich history
in wine - Gena is enthusiastic to
introduce and educate people of
these fine wines. Gena continues
to study both food and wine in a
constant effort to offer her clients
a better product. Di Vino Dante is
open from 2 to 11 p.m., Monday
thru Saturday! Please call 2233734 for reservations. Di Vino
Dante is located at 269-A Basilio
Badillo.
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Painting a portrait of retirement in PV at The International Gallery
By
Jerry Rubin
Read carefully and I’ll give you the secret to
my artistic success (as long as you promise not
to knock off my style). I assume that since you
are still with me, you have agreed to my “knock
off” clause. Here goes, I wanted to do art that
no one else was doing, it had to be something
fun for me, and that made people smile. Not
abstracts, or rocks, or trees, or streams, or
sunsets as the art gallery world is virtually
nothing else. Besides, who has ever smiled at
the sight of a rock or a tree?
Four years ago I was visiting with the owner
of a prominent art gallery in Key West, Florida,
who lamented the lack of portrait paintings,
and works that had a sense of fun. She took
me around pointing out that almost no artists
were tackling the difficulties of painting faces,
and hands, as those are the most difficult to
do. She then said, “I love all the paintings in
my gallery but none of them make me happy.”
That was both my Eureka moment and the
beginning of my art career; celebrity art
portraits painted with a determination to
create smiles... come down to the gallery
and you can be the judge of that!
Note: I also do commissions and am
soon to begin portraits of the ageless Tony
Bennett, blues guitarist Buddy Guy, Jack
McReynold’s chihuahua Borracha, and
Las Vegas Elvis. Need one for a special
occasion? I have brushes in hand already.
www.jerryrubin-artwork.com
The International Gallery is open every
day, located on the south side of the Marina
malecon, opposite Dock B.
Question: What do Mick Jagger, cats, The
Joker, horses, Elvis, polar bears, The Beatles,
zebras, the Statue of Liberty, and Bob Marley
have in common?
Answer: They all get their portraits done by
me... whether they like it or not.
Question: What in the world does the
above have to do with “Painting a portrait of
retirement”?
Answer: Read on, only if you have way too
much time on your hands.
Obviously you do have way too much time,
so here goes. I sold my business in Canada
4 years ago in order to spend more time with
my soon to retire wife. Nice of me huh? The
only problem is that I haven’t seen her since!
She’s out and about with her friends for lunch,
supper, coffee, and whatever else sociable
retired women do. All perfectly fine with
me because, hmm, uh, it has to be. I soon
had too much time on my hands, and I
don’t do time well. What now?
I had painted as a teenager but not since,
so I decided to take up that long lost passion
for art. “Take it up”? More like it overtook
me! My works are presently in galleries
in Canada, the USA, and Mexico; I am
‘Artist in Residence’ at the International
Gallery in the Marina until April 1; and I
have shows booked at various galleries
in May, October, and December. I’m not
complaining but tell me, is this what you’d
call retirement?
February - 2016
The 7 Arts
Galeria de Ollas
Exclusively dedicated to Mata Ortiz Pottery
The Mata Ortiz creative movement has been
deeply studied by experts due to the superb quality
of the pottery there been made and to the quantity
of artists involved in this form of art (approximately
400 in a small rural village).
It all started by the will of a man, Juan Quezada,
that while looking for wood for his family was driven
by the curiosity to search into a cave where he found
some very old pots so he started to question himself
how could the ancient men create such beauty.
Assuming that the antique pots were made with
local materials, he eagerly experimented with
different clays and minerals until he could get his
first pieces. So, based upon the culture of Paquime
he started a new tradition.
A fortunate discovery
One day in 1976, Spencer MacCallum, an
American anthropologist, discovered in an antiques
shop of Deming New Mexico 3 pots that kept his
attention. He bought them and after taking pictures
of them he drove south of New Mexico and down to
Chihuahua State until he found Juan Quezada.
Juan was confused when he opened his door and
saw Spencer in the steps of his home with the pictures
of his pots. Then he showed him some other pieces
that he had finished. They were finely done, very
light and painted with intricate thin interlocking
designs covered with red and black colours.
Spencer then realized the importance to sponsor
this very promising potter and told him he would
return in 2 months and buy more pieces from him.
That started a relationship of 8 years in which Spencer
bought pieces from Juan and other family members
who learned from him. Spencer´s sponsorship gave
Juan the freedom he needed to develop as an artist.
Aldama No. 174 Centro
2nd Floor / Piso
Tel.: (322) 222 1982
Fax: (322) 222 5502
www.galeriapaciﬁco.com
galeriapaciﬁco@gmail.com
February - 2016
379 27
The jobs at that time were scarce so many other
people in the town were convinced by Juan and
Spencer that doing pottery afforded them the
opportunity to improve their economical situation
so many families began to learn the craft.
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28 379
By
Joe Harrington
Best Picture?
A
controversy over the lily
whiteness of this year’s Oscar has
burst out, igniting the tinsel that
hovers as a symbol over Hollywood,
burning brightly as it cast illumination
on the whole process of just how
movies are selected.
Here is a list of the films nominated
for this year’s Best Picture Academy
Awards: The Revenant, Mad Max:
Fury Road, The Martian, Bridge of
Spies, Spotlight, Brooklyn, The Big
Short, and Room.
You would think, with eight
nominations, that five of them
would also have their lead actor
also nominated. No, not true, only
Leonardo DiCaprio and Matt
Damon got the nod, stiffing six –
SIX – of the other actors. Then
the women must have pulled their
weight to get those other pictures
into Best pic category. Nope,
only Brie Larsen in Room and
Saoirse Ronan in Brooklyn made
the list.
Eight movies made the list. On
June 24, 2009, the number eligible
for this nod went from five to
ten. What has happened since?
Out of the more than a thousand
movies made in the U.S. each year
the Academy couldn’t come up with
ten each year. To put this in context
I give you the following quote from
back when the list potential was
doubled: Sid Ganis, then AMPAS
President, said to the press, “Having
ten Best Picture nominees is going to
allow the Academy to recognize and
include some of the fantastic movies
that often show up in the other Oscar
categories but have been squeezed
out of the race for the top prize. I
can’t wait to see what that list of ten
looks like when the nominees are
announced.”
The wait is over. 2010 = ten
nominees – winner: The Hurt Locker.
To fill out the list, the Academy had to
nominate the animated film Up. 2011
= ten nominees – winner: The King’s
Speech. Once again an animated
flick was needed, called Toy Story
3. 2012 = the erosion begins as only
nine nominees – winner: The Artist.
2013 = only nine again – winner:
Argo. 2014 = nine again – winner: 12
Years a Slave. 2015 = list now only
eight nominees – winner: Birdman.
And now, 2016, again only eight
made the cut. It doesn’t take a
statistician to create a graph that if
this erosion keeps up, we will be back
to five Best pictures in ten years.
Look who got snubbed. Star Wars.
(Keep in mind while reading this
list that the Academy had two more
spots to hand out if it felt like it, and
didn’t). Sicario, Inside Out, Creed,
Steve Jobs, or – and this is the one
that is fueling the current uproar –
Straight out of Compton.
But what is even more staggering is
that Carol, with six other nominations
in categories other than Best Picture,
got stiffed.
But the most astonishing result this
year, at least for me, was Ridley Scott
getting the boot for his job directing
The Martian.
A bit of history is needed here.
There have been 87 movies that won
Best Picture. Only four won without
the director getting a nomination.
They are Wings (1927); Grand Hotel
(1931), Driving Miss Daisy (1989);
and Argo (2012). The last time a
director won and the picture didn’t
was in 1929 when Frank Lloyd
won and The Divine Lady didn’t.
And while I am at it, how could
anyone in their right mind call The
Martian a comedy? Get marooned
on a distant planet, have to use your
own waste to grow potatoes to eat,
suffer loneliness, fight despair, and
then finally triumph by hope and
creativeness and bravery and it’s
called a knee-slapper? As an aside,
there’s no award for producers. If
there was, Stephen Stielberg, having
produced nine movies that got the top
shot – would be the king of the hill.
Don’t know what they’re smoking
down there in Beverly Hills but it’s
got to be a lot stronger than medical
marijuana.
My point in all this verbiage and
statistics? Why is anyone astonished
at anything that comes out of the
Academy Awards?
No African
Americans got nominated? One
could just as easily say that since
1997, when BMA (Black Movie
Awards) was founded, there was no
need for anyone nominated there to
overlap with a duplication involving
the Academy Awards.
I am just happy the director of The
Revenant, Alejandro Inarritu, a
Mexican, didn’t get passed over.
Joe Harrington
Is an internationally published true crime
writer and documentary filmmaker.
Send comments or criticism to
JoeMovieMadness@Yahoo.com
Artwork by Bob Crabb.
February - 2016
Good Bites
Been there…
Archie’s Wok - “A feeling of serenity... very soothing... like an
Oriental patio... extremely comfortable... subtle, intriguing flavors...
care to detail... cuisine of the Philippines, with delicate touches of Thai
and Chinese... some of the best exotic cocktails around.”
Chez Elena - “...a privileged location, with an interesting history...
international cuisine... pastas and salads... Mexican specialties from
Veracruz and the Yucatan... excellent service, prices accessible to all...
the patio setting with all its gardens, unique rooftop bar/terrace with
unsurpassable view, an unforgettable event.”
Coco’s Kitchen – “… enchanting, romantic atmosphere, welcoming,
calm and relaxing no matter where you sit… some of the best breakfast
/ brunches in town… eclectic and appealing dinner menu… dishes to
pamper the palates of the most discerning diners... succulent homemade
desserts, and the espresso is perfect too.”
Coco Tropical - “Right on the beach... Great for serious, first rate
people watching... The sound of the waves, subtle lights, discreet and
efficient service, fabulous menu and quality of every dish therein... Fully
stocked bar for that special, refreshing drink in the middle of the day...”
El Arrayan – “Authentic traditional Mexican cuisine, voted Best of
its class 4 years in a row... true, inimitable delights to sight and taste…
spacious, welcoming and charming Hacienda patio style … cool,
casual atmosphere … attentive, friendly service promoting the use of
regionally-produced ingredients…”
Hacienda Alemana Frankfurt - “A beautiful open-air garden
setting... portions are huge... the Apfelstrudel rated an “A”... authentic
good and hearty German fare at reasonable prices in an unexpectedly
delightful little tropical oasis of peace and serenity.”
Kaiser Maximilian – “A pioneer in the Olas Altas area, a welldefined identity … a favorite among lovers of fine dining, specializing
in contemporary Austrian cuisine … quality ingredients matched by
excellent, amiable service … casual, elegant ambience … a consistent
participant in PV’s annual Gourmet Festival.”
Roberto’s Puerto Nuevo - “... delighting the most demanding
palates... exquisite seafood dishes and excellent personal attention... the
first of all the restaurants on “The Street of the Cafés”... maybe the
highest percentage of repeat clients!”
Trio – “Rich woods, frescoes reminiscent of Tuscany and trompe
l’oeil details, comfortable upholstered chairs, crisp white tablecloths
and napkins, glistening tableware, and the most mouth-watering aromas
wafting by as the courteous, efficient wait staff comes in carrying one
succulent dish after another… The Mediterranean fare and décor of this
Five Star Diamond Award winner stand alone in Vallarta.”
February - 2016
379 29
30 379
Good Bites
Continued Letters to Editor...
Dear Editor,
Last night 9 of us had dinner at Encanto.
This was our annual visit as we have enjoyed
our dinners there since it opened. The
atmosphere is simple and elegant, almost
like a classy home. However, we come for
the food. The complimentary appetizers of
peach\brie casa Dias and the coconut shrimp,
crab cakes and daily catch are serious reasons
to come every year. Chef and owner Piano
give the house its charm and class.
Venture up [Aquiles] Serdan along the
river and experience some of the best food
in town.
Suzanne French-Smith
Marilyn Clark
Dear Editor,
Dear Editor,
Wandering the streets of PV is always a
treat but especially so when you discover
a new little restaurant. We were walking
down Madero and stumbled upon Martini
en Fuego Grill Restaurant at 260 Francisco
Madero, across from Bravos. It is a gem
of a little Mexican restaurant that serves
Mexican food and fresh fish and seafood.
Some meat dishes are also available. The
chips and salsa served are so good!
We began our meal with a nice glass
of wine and a Caesar salad that was well
prepared. The fajitas, Real Vallarta fish
special, coconut shrimp and burritos were
all delicious. The waiters couldn’t do
enough to make our experience enjoyable.
Chef / owner Roberto came to our table to
be sure everything was to our liking. He
then sent over a complimentary dessert of
which we ate every morsel! Roberto owned
another spot in Mismaloya before coming to
PV so he knows how to cook and how to run
a restaurant. We will return to this little gem
and recommend it to other guests of Puerto
Vallarta. It is always a pleasure to support
local restaurants.
Fitzgerald MaryAnne
Dear Editor,
With over 800 restaurants in the PV area
(TripAdvisor’s figure), there is something for
everyone’s taste and price range.
We have certain favourites, but are always
open to try new recommendations. I am
therefore going to pass on the name of La Mar
- the restaurant at the top of the Grand Miramar
hotel, which is itself at the top of the mountain
in Conchas Chinas.
We stumbled on it by chance, as we were
taking house guests up to see the stunning
view of the whole Bay. The dining room was
fairly empty, but the staff was charming, and
very obliging. We were all so impressed by
our lunches that we returned later in the week
with a larger group, and then again another day
for dinner. Excellent at all times! There is also
a bar, with the best view in Puerto Vallarta to
watch the sun set.
February - 2016
Outstanding in the Field - the traveling
restaurant without walls whose open-air, tableto-farm dinners are set in the places where the
ingredients on the plate were harvested - is
making their first visit to Mexico!
On February 21st, 2016, Outstanding in the
Field travels to Puerto Vallarta to host dinner
on the beach at a Sayulita sea cove. Our
guest chef for the event is Calixto Gattás of
Bistro Organico in San Pancho.
Calixto and partner Gisela Marin run the
Hotel Cielo Rojo on the Riviera Nayarit.
Chef Gattás will prepare a seafood-centric
feast of indigenous produce and fresh catch
brought to our seaside kitchen by local guest
fishermen (including oysters fresh off the
boat). The meal also will feature margaritas
served on the sand, made with local artisanal
tequila, and local wine.
In January/February, OITF did a Winter
Tour to warm-weather locales in Hawaii,
Florida, New Orleans and now, it’s on its
first visit to Mexico.
At an Outstanding feast, you may find
yourself sitting next to a local farmer who
grew the greens, a fisherman who reeled
in the fresh catch or a cheesemaker who
separated curds from whey. Fellow diners at
the long table may have traveled from across
town or across the country.
To purchase seats for an Outstanding
in the Field event, please visit www.
outstandinginthefield.com
Lisa Supple
Vallarta Voices
By
It
Anna Reisman
gave me great pleasure to
see how many people attended the
two short one-act operas at Teatro
Vallarta last weekend, Cavaleria
Rusticana and Pagliacci. I hope
that the ever-increasing attendance
at those broadcasts from the Royal
Opera House in London will ensure
that the program will continue
beyond this season. My only
doubt is the ballet performances.
Personally, I did not attend “The
Nutcracker” a few weeks ago as
it was not Christmas time and to
me, that’s when I like to see it,
over and over… Besides, it doesn’t
appear that we in Puerto Vallarta
appreciate the ballets as much as
the operas. I guess we’ll see how
many attend the show scheduled
for Valentine’s weekend, Carmen
/ Viscera / Afternoon of a Faun
and Tchaikovsky’s Pas de Deux
(four one-act ballets). I do intend
to attend that one ‘cause I love the
music of 3 out of the 4.
Talking about Valentine’s Day, if
you haven’t found the perfect gift
for your loved one by the time you
read this, do check out Cassandra
Shaw’s Jewelry, June Rosen’s and
Mundo de Cristal. Beautiful hearts
of all types, to wear, to hang, to
display… followed by a yummy,
romantic dinner of course!
We may go to the Botanical
Gardens on the 14th. It is one of,
if not THE, most beautiful places
anywhere around the Bay of
Banderas, except for our estuary,
El Salado. Have you taken one
of their tours yet? I make sure to
bring newcomers there at least once
during their visit.
Still too many good shows
around, especially for those of
us who do not have the luxury of
being able to go out every
night. Nevertheless, I will
definitely do my best to
attend as many as I can
…without missing my
favorite TV programs. One
thing’s for sure: I will not
miss this year’s Mardi Gras
/ Carnaval parade on Tuesday.
Last year’s was nothing short of
amazing and this year promises to
be even better. You will not believe
the number of people lining the
route and cheering the participants!
Such fun!
I feel bad for all the folks around
town who have no proper TV
feed or internet due to the major
snafu by the company that bought
out Telecable. Read Lic. Luis
Melgoza’s column in this issue. I
found it fascinating!
It is very sad to see
how many good people
have been leaving us
lately. All the televised
award shows have an “In
Memoriam” segment,
and the internet has
been featuring one well
known personality after
another, all gone. I guess
it is to be expected for us
baby boomers, but it still
hurts when it’s a friend.
I’m referring to Sybil
Graham whose obituary is in this
issue. When I received a phone
call from our common friend,
Marie Raeburn, to inform me of
Sybil’s passing, it brought tears to
my eyes …and so many memories.
Sybil was one extraordinary
woman. When I was working for
the Tribune, we used to give her an
entire page to highlight all the good
Dear Anna,
A friend and I ate at Fei
Long on San Salvador in
Col. 5 de Diciembre week
before last. The food was
good.
As we were leaving my
friend spotted the owner
getting into his car in front
of the restaurant. He said
that the owner also served
Chinese food in Soriana,
but that the food at the San
Salvador location was better
than the one at Soriana.
Sounds like the man has
several locations in PV.
I am still reading your
column weekly.
Ronnie Ware
February - 2016
379 31
work she used to do every year.
May you rest in peace, angel.
And for you, dear reader, I wish a
delightful week. May your Mirror
always reflect a happy, healthy you.
Hasta la próxima vez!
sheis@ymail.com
32 379
Vallarta Voices
The saga of being a prop tart...
By
Jan Gregg-Kelm
F
or the Boutique Dinner Theatre production of “Deathtrap,”
we needed handcuffs, the kind the police use and yes, the
“other” kind. So after an internet search, Nelson and I were
off to the very well stocked tienda, “Sex Shop Thingy,” down
a dusty side street, around a corner and then to the end of an
even dustier side street in Where the Hell Am I, Mexico. To
get to the door of this operation, you must first walk all the way
through a small Mom and Pop store, into a backyard, and take
a well worn path, to get to the “entrance in the rear.” That sign
alone caused my mind to travel a bit into the hinterlands of the
impure. But I digress.
ALL, of what seemed like hundreds of families in the first
store, stop what they are doing and conversations cease as they
wait and see just where these two motley gringos are going.
Are they here to buy something in this store, or are they going
to stop to see the sweet little abuela in the back, sitting under a
palm, selling pan dulce... or... not.
At this point, I’m looking for a source of water to save
ourselves in case we spontaneously combust from all the eyes
burning holes into the backs of our heads. In a failed attempt to
appear casual, I am now grinning idiotically like a dork at the
mass of intently observing humanity, including the withering
stare of the abuela, as we arrive at the creaking door to THAT
shop and slither inside.
We are pleasantly greeted by the very gracious proprietor who
promptly points to where the handcuffs are neatly packaged in
a surprisingly lovely display. Needing a quick release model,
I passed on the more industrial strength variety and picked out
the ones that said “Fetish Handcuffs for Beginners.” While we
were there, we also saw every kind of device for every nook and
every cranny of every part of every nook and every cranny of
every part of your personal business …and then some. I’m no
prude and do have experience beyond the missionary position,
but I now realize I’ve led a more sheltered life than I thought.
Truly an astounding inventory.
Of course, with the transaction complete, we must again
pretend to stroll nonchalantly past the not-so-sweet abuela,
through the Mom and Pop store, with the thousand points of
burning optic light, all the while carrying our purchase neatly
tucked into a plain brown wrapper. My item came in a box so
the wrapped package was only in a rectangular shape (that kept
‘em guessing), but just in case any of you might want to go
and purchase say, a shrink-wrapped re-chargeable nookabator
or the multiple-pronged crannotickler, you might want to bring
along an opaque tote-bag.
All in a day. What we do for theatre!
February - 2016
Health Matters
Relationships
By
S
Giselle Belanger
o
many
things
impact
relationships causing increased stress
and mixed feelings, resentments,
anger, sadness, and fear of what could
happen if things don’t get better.
Couples complain that “no matter
what I do it’s never enough”, stating
that he/she is “never satisfied”. Our
expectations of our partner can often
be unrealistically high and in other
cases he/she may not be fulfilling
their role in the relationship. Couples
become frustrated and tired of “mas
de lo mismo” (more of the same) and
want to stop the vicious cycle but
don’t know how.
Financial pressures can take any
relationship to a new level of stress
that seems to impact everything else,
especially if you were previously
accustomed to a higher standard of
living. Many aspects of life may need
to change. For example, if you used
to go out to eat, go to the movies,
buy new clothes, afford private
schooling for your children, live in a
nicer neighborhood, drive a new car,
etc. A great deal of resentments can
develop if one partner is to blame
(or is blamed by the other) resulting
from a job loss, excessive and careless
spending, addiction, or even a chronic
or terminal illness.
Couples complain frequently about
“not being listened to” or “not being
understood”. Poor communication
skills are a major culprit in destroying
relationships since it is the vehicle to
intimacy. Difficulty expressing what
you feel and what you need is very
common. Communication is not
necessarily something you learned
growing up. Because of this, some
people have come to expect others to
“read their mind” or to second guess
their needs, or be able to determine
what they are thinking or feeling
RN, LCSW
without it actually being said. This is
of course ridiculous and a recipe for
disaster.
Another source of contention
revolves around parenting and
disciplining children.
Parenting
styles can differ greatly, which is
not necessarily a problem and can in
fact, complement the other. One may
be more patient, more interactive,
more playful, while the other may be
stricter, more able to provide structure,
more helpful with homework or
extracurricular activities.
The
problem arises when each of you
do not agree on the other’s style, or
believe the other’s style is detrimental
or damaging. Disagreeing on when
and how to discipline can create
problems where the children succeed
at “splitting” one parent against the
other. How many times have you
heard “Mom lets me do it” or “Dad
said I could go”? It is especially
bad if the parents argue about this in
front of the children. They may feel
like they are the reason their parents
are unhappy and divorcing, which is a
terrible thing for them to carry around
and believe.
Of course another major complaint
of couples is infidelity; cheating,
flings, one night stands, long-term
affairs. This can be devastating to
the integrity of the couple, causing
tremendous ripple effects for both.
Although reactions vary, the one who
has been cheated on feels completely
betrayed, angry, sad, and wonders
why. The one who cheated usually
feels defensive providing reasons
why they were unhappy in their
relationship. Although infidelity can
be painful and devastating, it does
not necessarily need to be the end of
the relationship, and in fact, can be
very sobering, “waking the couple
up” to what has really been going on.
They are then able to more honestly
evaluate what needs to change and be
improved upon.
In addition to the stresses discussed
above, we must also consider the
impact of domestic violence. Don’t
be intimidated by the term “domestic
violence”;
it basically refers to
relationships where one partner gains
power and control over the other
by various means of abuse such as
verbal, emotional, sexual, or physical.
The abuse can be very subtle and
unsuspected by friends and family
or blatantly obvious. Either way,
the partner stays in the relationship
out of fear of consequences that may
sometimes be life threatening.
Addiction is another destroyer of
relationships that may not always be
blatantly obvious either. Addiction has
many faces depending on the severity
and progression of the disease, the
drugs of choice, and the conflicts and
hardships they cause the individual and
the couple. Many addicts / alcoholics
are high functioning enough to never
suffer grave consequences, while
others have their life and the lives of
their loved ones turned upside down.
Not all relationships are healthy
enough to survive, nor should they.
Many of us get into relationships for
all of the wrong reasons and then feel
stuck. Some stay far too long in a
relationship for financial dependence
or for the “children’s sake,” but
whatever the reason, you need to
clarify why you want to stay or leave,
carefully considering the advantages
February - 2016
379 33
and disadvantages, as well as the
consequences.
If you are wondering what to do with
your relationship, consider couples
therapy. It is extremely helpful to get a
neutral opinion and gain new insights
and perspectives. Whether you decide
to break up or repair and rebuild your
current relationship, therapy helps
you do it in a much healthier, less
destructive way.
Healthy break-up: It is much better
to break up with a better understanding
of your partner, his/her needs and
desires, as well as compassion and
empathy for their pain, instead of
criticizing and blaming. You can walk
away with peace and a much more
accurate picture of what went wrong.
You can sincerely wish your partner a
happy and fulfilling life as you each
go your separate ways.
Rebuild it: If you choose to repair
and rebuild your current relationship,
it requires careful examination of
what you’ve done right and what went
wrong. It is a wonderful chance to
build a healthy foundation with all of
the corrections necessary and to have
a much more fulfilling and happy
marriage.
Giselle Belanger
RN, LCSW (psychotherapist) can be
contacted at: ggbelangerpv@gmail.com
Mex cell: (322) 138-9552
or US cell: (312) 914-5203.
34 379
Health Matters
Even if you have finished treatment
they are concerned that HRT may
increase the risk of the cancer coming
back. There are a number of different
medicines that your doctor may prescribe
to help to reduce and control hot flushes. By
Krystal Frost
Hot flushes and sweats in men
L
ast week, one of my loved ones
mentioned he had night sweats, and
asked what I thought about that. So
here it is, what “they”say and a bit
more.
Causes
In the past, doctors thought that hot
flushes were caused only by lowering
levels of oestrogen in women and
testosterone in men (lovingly known as
testopause). Researchers now suggest
that this is part of the life process.
There are other causes such as:
One example is that the part of
the brain called the hypothalamus
controls the production of many
hormones. This part of the brain also
controls our body temperature. It
may be that the chemical messengers
(neurotransmitters) the hypothalamus
produces cause the hot flushes. We
need more research to find exactly
what causes flushes so that we can
develop treatments that work better at
controlling them.
Prostate cancer and treatments
Tips on managing
hot flushes and sweats
Here are some suggestions that help.
Some may help to reduce the number
of hot flushes and make them milder.
- Cut out coffee, tea and nicotine
- Keep your room cool
- Wear layers of light clothing
- Have layers of bedclothes
to remove as you need to
- Wear natural fibres such
as or cotton
- Sip cold or iced drinks
- Have a lukewarm shower or bath
instead of a hot one talk to your doctor
or specialist nurse.
There are medicines that may help.
Medicines for hot flushes
The only way to completely
stop hormonal symptoms is to take
hormones to replace the ones your
body is no longer producing. But if
you are having cancer treatment that
stops you producing hormones, you
can’t have hormone replacement
therapy (HRT). Doctors recommend
that you don’t take HRT if you have
had a hormone dependent cancer such
as breast or prostate cancer.
Vitamin E
A trial of 120 women who had had
breast cancer compared vitamin E with
a placebo. They found that vitamin E
reduced the number of flushes by one
a day. Vitamin E did not cause many
side effects, so the researchers suggest
it is worth trying as a first treatment.
Anti depressants
For men with prostate cancer,
researchers have recently found that
venlafaxine can reduce hot flushes
by about half. A small trial looking at
paroxetine found that it can reduce hot
flushes by about a third.
Remember that all drugs have some
side effects. Anti depressants can
cause a dry mouth, headaches, feeling
sick, and loss of appetite.
Progestagens
Progestagens can reduce hot flushes
by more than 80% and seem to work
equally well in women and men. Side
effects can include skin rashes, fluid
retention, dizziness, a dry mouth,
an increased risk of blood clots,
and headaches. They can also cause
vaginal discharge and vaginal bleeding
(withdrawal bleeding) in women.
Complementary therapies
for hot flushes
Acupuncture has been researched as a
treatment for hot flushes in both women
and men. A small study compared
acupuncture with the anti depressant
venlafaxine. The treatments worked
equally well at reducing hot flushes in
women with breast cancer.
A study looked at using auricular
acupuncture in men having hormone
therapy for prostate cancer. In
auricular acupuncture, the practitioner
puts needles or small beads (called
acupressure beads) onto the outer part
of the ear. They may leave them in
place for a few days. 60 men took part
in the study and had the acupuncture
February - 2016
weekly for 10 weeks. In 2014, the
study reported that more than 9 out of
10 men (95%) said that the flushes had
reduced in severity.
Black cohosh is a native plant of
North America. In Germany it is used
to treat menopausal symptoms. It is
thought to have oestrogen like effects
on the body. Evidence from research is
mixed. Some trials found that it helped
to reduce hot flushes in women. But an
overview of all the trial results found
that it did not reduce hot flushes in
women. It has not been tested in men.
Traditional Chinese Medicine
(TCM) understands excess sweating
as an unbalance in Yin energy
(feminine) relationship between the
heart and kidney. I would suggest the
following non-toxic holistic approach:
- diatomaceous earth‎, 1 tablespoon
per day in a glass of water upon
raising, add lime or toss it in a
smoothie http://diatomaceous.org/
- Get 1 lb of veggies greens
and citrus - use Himalayan pink salt
- vitamins E, D and C
- maca root powder
1500 to 3000 mg a day ( w w w. l i v e s t ro n g . c o m /
article/260315-what-are-the-benefitsof-maca- root-for-men/)
- 2 oz of fresh pressed wheat grass
juice a day. - 30 min. of early morning (not
the hot midday and afternoon
sun) sunshine on your lower back and
whole body
- acupuncture to balance the
relationships between heart and kidneys
- walk 7-10,000 steps every other
day in fresh air
- find a yoga class that you feel
comfortable in
- Avoid alcohol, fried foods,
processed milk and wheat products
- Avoid : Sugar… sugar... sugar... sugar
- Get good sleep
That about does it.
Krystal Frost
For questions and comments Cell: 322 116-9645,
Email: krystal.frost73@hotmail.com
Health Matters
379 35
The answer to true and lasting beauty
By
Julie Bunker
Y
ou’re at a social gathering, and
see your friend interacting with others.
She’s in her late 60’s, but AGAIN, as
in the past, you notice her outer beauty
that lights up the room. “How does
she always manage to look so darn
beautiful?”, you wonder. “It’s not her
clothes, or her hair, or the tan she got
on her vacation. It’s something deeper
than that. She has a radiance that shines
from deep within.” When you’ve seen
her at the market with no make-up
and in her not-so-great-looking-jeans,
she still radiates. She looks like she’s
‘feelin’ fine’ even then. “So what’s the
deal?”, you wonder. “Why can’t I feel
good inside like she does? I bet I’d
look better on the outside, too, if I felt
better on the inside.”
The answer to long lasting beauty
is: Feel good on the inside, and it will
show on the outside. The question
is: HOW?
If we think a thought over and over
enough times, we start believing
it. That’s how beliefs are born. It’s
no wonder, then, that many of us
have thought over and over again,
and therefore now BELIEVE, that
aging has to include aches, pains and
illnesses which will lead us into not
feeling good inside anymore… and
that we just have to put up with it
as we age. (False!) If that is false,
then how can we combat the aches,
pains and illnesses, and feel good on
the inside again so we CAN have an
elegant and graceful beauty about us
on the outside?
Before we go any further, let’s be
clear… Don’t think I’m purporting that
you’ll end up looking like Penelope
Cruz or Marilyn Monroe! And we
can throw in George Clooney for you
male readers! Or that I’m suggesting
to throw out your peptide anti-aging
cream, or to never treat yourself to
a new outfit, etc… Absolutely not.
What I AM saying is that you CAN
feel like a million bucks on the inside
as you age… the way you did in your
youth….and GREATLY reduce your
aches, pains and illnesses along the
way. (I’m living proof of this!!) So…
are you interested to know how I got to
feeling good inside again despite my
62 years on this planet? It starts with
something called SCIO Biofeedback!
That’s right! All of that quantum
physics stuff that is baffling – and at
the same time oh-so-fascinating!
Specifically, I went to the Holistic
Bio Spa where my Naturopath, Zoli
Hargitai, is owner / founder. I have
had four SCIO biofeedback sessions
since June 2015, and have completed
the resulting protocols. Now I’m
“feelin’ fine” inside – and it shows!
What is SCIO Biofeedback? SCIO
stands for Scientific Consciousness
Interface Operating system.
It’s
Health Technology that scans your
body… Physically, mentally and
emotionally… as you sit and let the
computer you are hooked up to do the
work. The program scans your body
much like a virus scan on a computer.
Or think of it like a scale that you step
on that gives you feedback on what
you weigh. Have you had an EKG
(a.k.a. ECG) to check for problems
with the electrical activity of your
heart? THAT is biofeedback!
SCIO sends a known frequency to
your body (example: the frequency
of healthy lungs). Then it measures
your body’s response to it. If your
body matches that frequency, it
means it’s balanced. If it reacts high
or low, that indicates an imbalance.
This information is then distributed
into the SCIO biofeedback balancing
programs where the healthy frequency
is sent back into your body thru 5
contact points – head, wrists, ankles to balance stress in the body.
My SCIO biofeedback sessions with
Zoli detected stress patterns within me
that can and do lead to DIS-ease if not
balanced. These stress patterns can
be related to nutritional deficiencies,
toxins in the body, emotional
blockages, etc. Like the EKG finds and
reports back any heart abnormalities
you and your doc were unaware of…
likewise, you don’t have to know
where the stresses in your body reside.
The SCIO finds them… (stressors you
had NO IDEA were wreaking havoc
with your body) and will balance
them to a certain degree right then and
there. Afterwards, Zoli will suggest a
plan to continue the balancing work
the SCIO started with a protocol of
detoxification treatments, nutritional
supplements, sauna sessions, foot
detox, etc. The result? You become
more and more balanced… YOU
FEEL GOOD INSIDE AGAIN…
February - 2016
Zoli Hargitai, owner /
founder of the Holistic Bio Spa
and your inner beauty, that spark you
almost forgot you once had, suddenly
emerges and starts looking back at
you in the mirror – and it’s beautiful!
Just remember - your true and lasting
beauty starts within.
For more information on SCIO, and
other treatments, (and to actually see
the SCIO in action), Zoli and his team
will have a presentation booth at the 6th
Annual “Medical Matters” Conference
presented by HealthCare Resources’
Pamela Thompson on February 15th,
2016, from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. at the
Marriott CasaMagna Resort in Marina
Vallarta. Come and meet Zoli!
The Holistic Bio Spa is located
in Plaza Marina, Local B-10. Open
Monday to Friday from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m.,
Saturdays from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. Tel:
221-1607. www.holisticbiospa.com
Email: Info@holistic-bio-spa.com
36 379
Legal Matters
Ask Luis
By
Luis Melgoza
SPECIAL: The day
Mexico became
Izzi Telecom’s hostage.
Since Sunday, January 24, the vast majority
of Puerto Vallarta’s Telecable subscribers
have been suffering very poor telephone and
Internet service, no dial-tone, intermittent
outages and very low speeds (for Emiliano
Zapata and parts of Amapas and Centro the
issues started on January 3).
By Friday last week, service to all Telecable
digital TV boxes was cut off.
Thousands locally were left without any
access to their primary sources of information:
television and websites.
All calls to the local Telecable number
(322) 226-7799 are now forwarded to Izzi
Telecom’s call center in Mexico City; where
operators have absolutely no information on
file regarding the caller.
So, what caused this mess?
On January 3, Izzi migrated the Telecable
node serving Olas Altas, most of Emiliano
Zapata, and parts of Amapas and El Centro
(downtown), allegedly as a test to “make
sure that the migration went flawlessly before
migrating the rest of Puerto Vallarta”.
Of course, they should have known that their
“migrations” don’t work. They have been
causing the exact same problems throughout
Mexico for months now. Sunday, January 24,
they migrated the rest of Puerto Vallarta.
While telephony is mostly working again,
there is no end in sight for the issues with their
Internet service, and the only solution to their
intentionally disabled television digital boxes
is to either wait for their crews to show up at
your door, unannounced, to exchange your
box, or for you to take your old box to their
offices to have it replaced; however, if you
take it to their offices, you should also take
your Internet modem and router (if supplied
by them) with you, otherwise you’ll have to
make two trips.
They will not replace digital boxes at their
offices unless you first cancel your Telecable
contract and sign up with Izzi. To cancel
your existing Telecable contract, you must
give them back all equipment included in that
February - 2016
contract. It is only after you have cancelled
your existing Telecable contract that they
would let you sign up with Izzi. They will not
simply migrate your account to Izzi. Do you
get to keep your telephone number if you have
telephony included? Who knows!
To add insult to injury, Telecable will
continue billing you monthly even when they
intentionally fail to provide the services for
which they are charging you. To stop billing,
you must cancel your Telecable contract.
Although, at this time, ABC, CBS and
NBC are still available if you connect your
TV directly to the coaxial cable, by-passing
the digital box, you should not expect these
channels to be available in the replacement
digital boxes.
Izzi Telecom is a Televisa wholly owned
subsidiary. Back in the 70’s, Televisa was
caught pirating the US networks signal for
their Cablevision pay-TV service, they had to
pay hundreds of millions of dollars as part of a
sealed settlement.
There is no end in sight for the problems they
created with the Internet. They are assigning
a single public IP address to several modems
simultaneously (this is just like assigning
the same phone number to several, unrelated
households).
Their excuse is that “old” Telecable modems
don’t have the current standards enabling
them to work with Izzi’s platform. Which,
of course, is plain, unadulterated manure.
While the current standard is version 3.1, that
version is completely backwards compatible
with the Telecable version 3.0 modems, by
international agreement.
Legal Matters
Izzi’s acquisition of dozens of local cable
companies nationwide since last year, has been
wreaking havoc in every single city that they
have taken over. Including Puerto Vallarta.
What can you do?
If you want your TV and/or Internet service
restored promptly: give up your rights as a
consumer, cancel your Telecable contract and
sign-up with Izzi, or, have Sky provide you
TV service (they don’t have the three big US
networks, either), and check if Telmex can
provide your Internet service.
What if you already paid for a year in
advance and there are still paid months left?
You should contact Izzi at their office in Plaza
Caracol (by mid-February they are relocating
to Francisco Medina Ascencio, next to the
Ford dealership) and find out how they process
cases like yours.
Do they refund the remaining months in
full if you are forced to cancel due to their
lack of service? Or, would they simply try to
credit the balance in your favor to a new Izzi
account? The latter is tantamount to extortion,
either you sign-up with Izzi or you are out of
luck.
Alternatively, whether you have been paying
month-to-month or in advance, you may file a
complaint with PROFECO —Izzi has already
been fined many times by PROFECO for not
having their template contracts registered with
them and for not providing the contracted
services—, naming Telecable, Cablevision
Red, S.A. de C.V., Grupo Hevi, S.A. de C.V.
and Izzi Telecom as defendants. (See http://
pvmcitypaper.com/download/303.pdf for
details on how to file a PROFECO complaint
by phone, in PROFECO offices, by e-mail or
on their website).
If you thought that you had already
experienced the worst customer service on
Earth, get ready for the real thing. Televisa and
its subsidiaries consider customers a necessary,
albeit disposable evil. Nothing more.
Oh, but commercial customers are in
much worse shape! For example, a hotel, or
apartment building that had several Telecable
modems to serve the whole property is
allowed only a single modem per address by
Izzi. If they want more, they will be “invited”
to contract fiber service with Izzi’s sister
company, Bestel, at roughly 30 (thirty) times
the price.
Full disclosure: PVGeeks’ five fiber-optics
Internet carriers were also acquired by Izzi and
we have been experiencing severe capacity
February - 2016
379 37
issues because of this, which seriously
inconveniences our clients, and will keep us
from accepting new clients for a couple of
weeks. Of course, we have contracted fiber
with two of the remaining independent carriers
—both staunch Televisa rivals— and, by the
street date of this issue, we should have had
fully restored service to our own clients, and
should be ready to serve new clients.
Izzi’s employees in Oaxaca are now on strike
because they have not been paid their earned
commissions for the past three months and a
complete telephone, TV and Internet looms in
that city’s horizon. Oaxaca was one of the first
cities they took over.
With on-air TV earnings dwindling for
Televisa -they lost countless advertisers last
year when they raised their pricing, which
accounts for the 0.9% decrease in earnings for
this concept-, the Izzi revenue added 37% to
their total earnings.
Izzi even has false information on file with
the Instituto Federal de Telecomunicaciones
(the Mexican equivalent to the US FTC).
Televisa is used to operating with total
impunity.
Luis Melgoza
Is a former PRI (Mexico’s ruling party) Head Counsel and
Legal Adviser to the Mexican Congress. Although retired
from the legal profession, he is a highly respected consultant
for both the foreign and Mexican communities in Puerto
Vallarta. Luis’ PVGeeks is the premiere wireless high-speed
Internet provider in Puerto Vallarta. For Internet service,
you can reach Luis at: lumel@pvgeeks.com
38 379
Real Estate
VIEWPOINT
By
Charlie Mader
use (retail on the lower levels and
residential above) buildings going
up where one-story shops used to be.
Views are being obscured and long
time owners are upset at lost vistas.
All of this construction is creating a
glut of inventory. To make matters worse
for sellers, the Mexican
has
rapidly
he Puerto Vallarta and Banderas Peso
Bay Region has become increasingly depreciated against the
popular as a tourist destination for US Dollar, going from
Middle America and Canada. It 13:1 in January of 2015
has always been a favorite with to 18:1 by January of
well-heeled folks on the west coast. 2016. Though properties
However, with the increase of may be priced and sold
discount flights and also added cruise in dollars, Hacienda (The
stops, more middle-income people Mexican IRS) looks at
are discovering Vallarta for the first the Peso transfer price
and then levies a 35%
time, and falling in love.
At the same time, the region has capital gains tax. Suppose you bought a
emerged from the Great Recession
with a vengeance, there are new home for US $500,000.
buildings going up, most notably in 2014 at an exchange rate of 13:1
in the Romantic Zone, which was or MXP 6.5M and then sold it a
thought to be “protected”. Other areas year later, in January of 2016 for
seeing new developments are the the same US dollar amount. You’d
South Shore and over by the Marina. be thinking that you came out even. But the most controversial No so. That US $500,000. is now
construction is in Old Town and MXP 9.0M (9 Million Pesos), giving
it is changing the character of the you a Peso gain of $2.5 Million,
neighborhood. Basilio Badillo is with an associated tax bill for MXP
transitioning from a street of smart $875,000. or US $48,600.! However,
restaurants to an upscale retail there are deductions, including the
district with luxury mid-rise mixed- sales commission, and options for
Puerto Vallarta
Market Summary
January 2016
credit for permanent improvements to
increase you basis, as well as partial
exemptions for sellers with fiscal
residency. Currency differences can
cause market distortions. Sellers
are afraid of large tax bills and are
holding on to inventory at the same
time that more is being built. Right now, sellers and agents are
doing a good job at holding the line on
dollar pricing, but it’s just a matter of
time, before reality sets in and prices
adjust to the new Peso exchange.
T
(Which is thought by many to be an
aberration, being brought down by
the low price of oil as the Mexican
Peso is partially backed by the value
of Mexico’s oil reserves).
In addition to buyers hoping for
lower prices, the glut of inventory
will also have the added benefit of
increasing the rental pool (and by
extension, lowering nightly rates) of
options available to vacationers. This
will bring more visitors to Vallarta
February - 2016
and bring income growth to the
tourist sector of the economy.
In summary, Puerto Vallarta is
changing from a smallish and difficult
to get to Mexican beach town to a
full-fledged resort district similar
in nature to Cancun or Cabo. More
Americans and Canadians can afford
to come and there are more flights on
discount carriers bringing them here. Construction of new units continues
unabated and the Peso continues to
fall, making Mexican products and
services even more affordable
to Americans. The Peso and the Canadian
Loonie appear to be falling
in tandem vs. the US dollar,
so many of these exchange
benefits / drawbacks are not
affecting Canadians.
I continue to be long term
bullish on Vallarta. If you
are looking for a retirement
or vacation home, you should
have that as your first goal,
and consider any offsetting
rental income a nice bonus
to help defray expenses. If
you are looking to buy solely as
an investment, you’ll need to be
savvy and look outside the box for
properties.
Charlie Mader
Is a Real Estate Broker from San
Francisco, CA and a fan of Puerto Vallarta
Fish Tales
Winter fishing finally arrives,
water temps drop
By
W
Stan Gabruk
ell, folks, it had to happen,
winter is moving in. With the
present El Niño being one of the
strongest in history, I have been
expecting conditions to remain the
same for a while longer. There
were a few storms up north in
Southern California that threw
some nasty cold temperatures and
rain at them, which pushed down
some cold currents and fronts.
These conditions changed quickly
and once the water temperatures
dropped drastically like they did
this past week, something had to
give. Having said that, if you’re
happy with winter species, you’ll
be fine. The winter storm pattern
is setting up in northern waters and
the currents being pushed down
will affect the area. Winter fishing
is here in Puerto Vallarta.
First, water temperatures are
76o-77oF, which is close to a
3-degree drop in one week; this is
significant. The differences we will
see will be the winter migration to
southern waters for species like
Marlin, Tuna and Dorado - normal
for this time of the year. When
looking to our world-class fishing
grounds of Corbeteña and El
Banco, we had no indicators as
to what the season was going to
bring at all this year. Yellowfin
Tuna really didn’t happen this year,
Marlin were in good numbers,
but nothing great and the Dorado
arrived very late for the season.
Sailfish picked up the slack, but
how many sails are you going to
catch before you’ve had enough of
them? So even with El Niño’s hot
breath, we’re seeing winter water
temperatures moving in with the
(Owner of Master Baiter’s Sportfishing & Tackle)
result of very few Yellowfin Tuna
likely moving in. The Seiners
(production fishing boats) out
of Mazatlan are running around
our fishing grounds and if you’re
lucky, you’ll find some of the 40
to 60ish-lb YF Tuna they
missed. Marlin are thinning
out drastically yet there are
still some hook-ups up into
the 600-lb range. Sailfish
are still in the 100-inch range
and they’ll be around for a
while longer. Wahoo have
been boated in the 60 to 80lb range for the lucky ones
not running wire leaders.
Dorado are still north of The
Rock (Corbeteña) like every
other species and Bottle
Nose Dolphin are having
their way with your trolled
baits here. Cubera Snapper
of course, for those who don’t mind
jigging. All in all, you’ll still have
fish to catch at Corbeteña but it will
be increasingly challenging, amigo.
Good luck, you’ll need some. El
Banco is pretty much the same
story, Marlin, Sailfish, Dorado all
north of the high spots by about
8 miles. Yellowfin Tuna to 60
lbs. around the high spots, Wahoo
possibilities, Dorado are still in the
45-lb range. Striped Marlin are in
closer to the Punta Mita point. The
same conditions exist at El Banco
as at Corbeteña, I suggest you flip
a coin as to which location is best.
The Point off Punta Mita and the
Marieta Islands are little changed
from last week. Jack Crevalle are
everywhere of course and they’re
here as well. Sierra Mackerel,
Sailfish in the 70-inch range.
Skip Jack Tuna at 6 lbs., Bonito,
small Rooster fish, nothing to get
excited over. Wahoo off the back
side of El Moro. Things should pick
up soon for this area but for now, go
long or go short. Mid-range fishing
locations are less than exciting but
can change in a heartbeat.
Inside the bay it’s looking more
and more like winter fishing. Jack
Crevalle to 40 lbs. are all over the
Nuevo Vallarta area, as should be
expected. With a host of regulars
like Bonito to 35 lbs., Sierra
Mackerel to 20 lbs., Sailfish for
the lucky around Los Arcos or La
Cruz. Dorado are still being boated
around Yelapa and north around the
beach areas. Football Tuna around
Yelapa to 40 lbs. There are plenty
of fish in the bay, so a four to eighthour trip will be a great day fishing
and you won’t have to worry about
missing a species that isn’t ¨there¨
at the deeper fishing grounds.
Having said all that, fishing is a
notch or two down from the high
measure mark. But this is normal
and it looks like we’ll be moving
into winter fishing which means
you can expect the Billfish and
Dorado at the very least to start
moving out if the water temps stay
the same or continue to drop. We
could see the water temperatures
tip upwards a bit if we don’t see
any crazy cold currents come down
February - 2016
379 39
from northern storms. This is
normal, we know it’s coming every
year, but we do what we can to
pretend the predictable is not going
to happen this year.
The bite has changed a little,
but for those looking to catch fish,
I suggest an early depart around 7
a.m. It will give you to time to get
to your chosen fishing grounds and
some time to prepare. It could be
earlier in the afternoon, around 1
p.m., so you can hit both bites of
you time things right. Lures: Are
still blue with silver that mimic
flying fish will do the trick
and of course Petroleros with
brown, green and purple are
automatic.
Shared boats for 8 hours
targeting Dorado have been
very popular! Just fire me
an email so I know when
you’ll be here and we’ll do
the rest. The Downtown
Store on Basilio Badillo
and Insurgentes is open for
High Season. Call Chris (El
Centro Mgr) at (044) 322
112 9558 for fishing, tours
or T-shirts, amigo. I am still
in Marina Vallarta, so take
your pick. YeeHa!
Until next time, don’t forget to
¨Kiss Your Fish¨. . .
Master Baiter’s is located in
Marina Vallarta between docks
A and B on the boardwalk.
Email your Questions to me at:
CatchFish@MasterBaiters.com.mx
Web page: www.MasterBaiters.
com.mx Local Phone at: (044) 322
779-7571 or if roaming: 011 521
322 779-7571 cell phone direct.
Come like me on Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/
Master-Baiters-SportfishingTackle/88817121325
The trade name Master Baiter’s
® Sportfishing and Tackle is
protected under trade mark law and
is the sole property of Stan Gabruk.
40 379
Hi-Tech
Why is my Smart TV not so smart?
N
ot a week goes by that I don’t get
a few phones calls and emails about
why a client’s new “smart TV” is so
dumb! Judging by the grumblings
in PV online forums as well, it looks
like we should revisit the topic I wrote
about last year.
“Smart TV” has become a common
buzz word lately. So… what is a smart
TV really? Basically, it’s considered
a smart TV when it has been designed
to not only show your cable or satellite
TV shows like all TVs, but a Smart TV
also has built-in applications to stream
videos directly from the internet.
The same difference between a
regular cellular phone and a smart
phone applies here. It’s one that
can do more than the basics that its
previous generations were able to do.
Before the iPhone, cellular phones
were basically “dumb phones”.
Smart TVs and their new computing
ability allow you to view content from
the Internet on your HDTV through their
specialized applications such as Netflix,
Facebook, and Hulu. You access these
“apps” or programs directly on your TV
through the main menu page. I have
found using the onscreen “keyboard”
with the TV remote a VERY frustrating
experience. Some smart TV models
will work with wireless keyboard/
mouse combo, but NOT all. Check
compatibility before buying.
Now these Smart TV applications
on your TV are specifically designed
to work specifically with a television
experience – they are not full
programs like on a computer. Each
manufacturer has its own specialized
list of available apps. What app you
get on what Smart TV largely relies on
who that manufacturer (Sony, LG, and
Samsung etc.) have struck deals with
the various internet content providers.
It seems the most popular “apps”
are now available on most makes of
Smart TV’s… like Netflix, Hulu, and
Amazon, etc... but are they ready for
you to use straight out of the box? Yes
and no. First you must connect your
new Smart TV to the internet, BUT
just connecting to the internet may not
be enough for what you want to do.
Now before you run out to Walmart
or Costco here in Vallarta and pick-up
a Smart TV thinking “I can get Netflix
and Hulu now”, hold on a second.
Just because a new TV is capable of
connecting to these services, doesn’t
mean you’ll automatically be able to
use them like you’re used to in the US.
In the US, it’s a snap... go online and
you’re all set. But we’re in Mexico
don’t forget - just the same when trying
to view Netflix US on your computer
and others where some programming
is blocked because they detect you’re
outside of the US, this will happen on
your Smart TV as well. Many clients
have been surprised to be redirected
to Netflix Mexico (and its’ “Novela”
content selection) after hooking up
their new smart TV.
To hide the fact that your TV is
accessing the internet from Mexico,
requires a special router and connecting
that router through a VPN service
(Virtual Private Network) to hide you
Mexican location. Because the Smart
TV is not a full computer, you can’t run a
VPN program directly on it like you can
a computer. It’s a bit of a chore and $$$
to have set up that way, but some people
think it worth the expense. Even then it
seems a cat and mouse between Netflix,
etc. and VPN companies. Netflix
loves finding ways of blacklisting IP
addresses that are known to be used by
VPN and proxy companies. So those
companies just add new IP addresses
and retire old ones.
As for online videos or streaming
live channels, I personally prefer
hooking up my laptop with an HDMI
cable (like you do a DVD player) to
my TV and watching online programs
that way. Any laptop bought in the
last couple of years has an HDMI out
connection as a standard now. So
connecting to the TV is a breeze.
I leave an extra HDMI cable
connected to the back of the TV and
February - 2016
simply connect my laptop to it as I
need. With the help of Hotspotshield
or HMA VPN running on my laptop,
I also avoid the “sorry, blocked
outside of US” problem with a lot
of online video. The whole sector of
Smart TVs is still young and there
is no industry standard yet. Right
now, the majority of these units need
you to use the remote control and an
onscreen keyboard to type in things
into it. That’s slow and cumbersome.
I personally won’t be using a Smart
TV until they maybe make a keyboard
more of a standard.
So do you feel left out because you
haven’t connected that shiny new
Smart TV to the Internet yet? Don’t
feel left out. Recent estimates say
only 30% or 16 million Smart TVs in
the US are actually connected to the
internet. That’s out of the estimated
48 million Smart TV’s currently in
people’s homes!
That’s all my time for now. If
you’d like to download this article
or previous ones, you can do so at
www.RonnieBravo.com and click on
“articles”. See you again next week...
until then, remember: only safe Internet!
Ronnie Bravo
Ron can be found at CANMEX Computers.
Sales, Repairs, Data Recovery,
Networking, Wi-Fi, Hardware upgrades,
Graphic Design, House-calls available.
www.RonnieBravo.com
Cellular 044-322-157-0688 or just
email to Canmex@Gmail.com
Gil Gevins’ Page
Down under blunder
By
N
Gil Gevins
ot many men, I would imagine,
have been fired (justly or unjustly)
by their own wives. In my case, the
pink-slip was more than justified.
In fact, had I been in a position to
do so, I would have fired me myself.
The entire sad episode began
innocently enough when, after
repeatedly complaining to my
Australian ping-pong partner that
I could not understand his goofy
Outback lingo, he procured for me
a small booklet of Australian slang.
So enamored was I with this treasure
trove of colorful expressions that
I decided to insert an Australian
character into my novel.
Merely reading the little book, I
soon discovered, was not enough
to give me a “working feel” for all
those wonderful Australianisms;
they needed to be spoken aloud,
hopefully in the presence of
other people. Unfortunately, the
only contact I was permitted (by
Municipal Decree) with other
human beings was in my wife’s
handicraft shop, where I worked
like a slave, against my will and
everyone’s better judgment.
(So that the reader may fully
appreciate the gravity of my ensuing
indiscretions, I should point out that
Lucy’s Cucu Cabaña is no ordinary
store. After many years of hard
work and sacrifice, my wife has
fashioned it into one of the finest
folk-art shops in all Mexico.)
Getting back to the debacle itself,
I was sitting behind my desk when
one of our best clients walked in
and asked me how everything was
going.
“Bob’s your uncle!” (Everything’s
fine!) I replied.
“Did you say, ‘Bob is my uncle’?”
Mrs. Johnson inquired with a frown.
“Because my uncle’s name is not Bob,
and he’s been dead for twenty years.”
“Oh, I am so sorry, Mrs. Johnson. I
feel worse than a plucked platypus.”
Once she’d stalked from the
store, a couple from Manitoba
came in. After eying several of our
exquisitely woven wool rugs, they
said they needed at least four of
them to brighten up their new house.
“Is there a discount for buying in
quantity?” the husband asked.
Our prices are already so
reasonable that we never offer
discounts, and I told them so.
“Not likely, mate. Our everyday
prices are lower than a midget’s
belly button.”
“I beg your pardon?” the woman
said.
“Dinky doe-doe,” (no) I said, by
way of clarification.
“Excuse me,” her husband said,
angrily approaching the desk, “do
you speak English?”
“Of course. What do I look like, a
bloody ning-nong?” (Idiot)
“A what?”
“A bloody ning-nong. It’s like a
bloody wally, only worse. But not
quite as bad as being a railing short
of a balcony, or three digits short of
an IQ.”
As the confused couple left the
shop, the telephone rang. It was my
wife.
“Have you been drinking that
Raicilla again?” she asked without
preamble.
“No, honey, I’m as sober as a
deacon’s dog. Why do you ask?”
After a short pause she said, “I
just got a phone call from Mrs.
Johnson. She said you were acting
abnormally.”
“Well, honey… abnormal…
that’s a relative term, isn’t it?”
“Mrs. Johnson said that you were
speaking unintelligibly.”
“Were those her exact words?” I
asked.
“Yes.”
“Well, you can tell that gumflapping
pickpocket-in-a-nudist
camp that my English diction is
absolutely ridgie-didgie, or, as
they say in Sidney, ‘clearer than a
koala’s urine sample.’”
After another moment of silence,
my wife asked me uncertainly,
“So… you’re okay?”
“I’m as keen as mustard, honey.
Gotta go. Three pressure cookers
(hot young women) just walked in.”
Three young women from
California had in fact entered the
shop and were eying with avid
interest a row of silver bracelets
lined up inside a glass case. “May
I?” one of them asked, meaning,
could she open the case and inspect
the exquisite and original pieces of
jewelry at close-hand.
“Ricky-ticky-tangeroo!” I said
graciously.
“Awesome!”
one
of
her
companions exclaimed.
“Are these sterling silver?” the
third woman asked. “The prices
seem awfully low.”
“We have bonzer (excellent)
prices,” I said proudly. “And as for
the silver, it’s strictly the bee’s knees
(the best).”
“Is the owner around?” the first
woman asked anxiously.
“No.”
“Do you know where I could
locate her?”
“Not really. She could be
anywhere. My wife hops around
like a flea on a hot plate.”
“You’re Lucy’s husband?” she
asked with astonishment.
“Does a tick have teeth?” I replied.
An hour later the phone rang once
again. “I told you never to call me
here,” I told my wife.
“What in God’s name is going
on?” she demanded. “I just got
another call, from Mrs. Baker, this
time.”
February - 2016
379 41
“Who’s that?”
“One of our most important
clients. She said she was just in the
shop with two of her friends, and
that you wouldn’t let them buy a
bracelet.”
“Not true,” I said. “I was as
cooperative as a hooker on holiday.”
As the line went dead, a squad
of pseudo shoppers, who had just
disembarked en masse from the
Mismaloya bus, rushed in. None
of them wanted to buy anything,
naturally, and just as the last of
them was leaving, my wife burst in,
accompanied by her attorney and
Dr. Mendoza, my psychiatrist.
“What have you been doing?” she
demanded. “We’re losing clients
faster than…”
“Faster than a dingo’s dinner?” I
offered helpfully.
“I don’t believe it,” she moaned.
“You’ve been practicing your
Australian slang on the customers!”
“Well… I…”
My wife fired me on the spot and
I went forlornly across the street to
drown my sorrows at Steve’s Bar.
Ernesto, the owner, after serving
me a beer, said, “What’s the matter?
You look kind of down.”
“Ernesto, if I’ve got a face like a
yard of tripe, and I feel like a lily
on a dustbin, it’s because my wife
just gave me the nozzle. God, I
nearly chucked a wobbly! But
she was Outback Jack: I had to be
stopped: the shop was going down
the gurgler.”
Ernesto took two steps back from
the bar, and shouted, “Last call!”
even though it had only just turned
noon.
Gil Gevins
Is the author of four hilarious books,
including the classic, PUERTO VALLARTA
ON 49 BRAIN CELLS A DAY, and the sidesplitting novel, SLIME AND PUNISHMENT.
Signed copies of all Gil’s books are available
at his wife’s wonderful shop, LUCY’S CUCU
CABAÑA, located at 295 Basilio Badillo.
Nature’s World
42 379
Planting Roots
in Mexico
By
Tommy Clarkson
Cape Plumbago
Plumbago auriculata
Family: Plumbaginaceae
Also known as: Cape Leadwort,
Skyflower or Blue Plumbago
Generally
decisive, it took
me several years to finally decide
whether or not I liked this oldfashioned sprawling, suckering,
and fast growing landscape bush. I
should, as they’ve long been found
in gardens pretty much all around
the world. Ultimately, however, its
somewhat basic “child drawn picturelike” in appearance, pale to sky blue,
butterfly-friendly, flowers won me
over!
Ranging throughout the tropics and
subtropics, there are ten to twentyfour (depends on which authority
one chooses to believe) different
species in the Plumbago genus.
Some authorities say that its genus
name originated from the Greek word
meaning “lead” as the plants were
once thought to be a cure for lead
poisoning. Yet others cite that its
other name, Leadwort, was derived
from folks’ use of it as a home
remedy for infections which caused
the skin of the person who’d ingested
it to take on a leaden hue. (So, who
are ya’ gonna’ believe?)
Beyond that, the Plumbago was
traditionally used to treat warts,
broken bones and wounds. It was
also taken as a snuff for headaches
and an emetic to dispel bad dreams. If
that all was not cause enough to want
them in your garden, a stick of the
plant was once placed in the thatch of
one’s hut to ward off lightning!
Plumbago auriculata was once
known to many as Plumbago capensis
- the name given it by the botanist,
Thunberg in 1794. However, come to
find out, it had already been named P.
auriculata in 1786, in the East Indies,
where it was rather commonly known
and grown as a garden plant.
Appreciated for those rather
delicate, pale blue flowers, the Cape
Plumbago is, appropriately enough,
originally from the Cape Province of
South Africa. There is now a darker,
cobalt blue form, “Royal Cape”,
which might be available in your local
nursery or vivero. Beyond these, via
botanical labs, there is now one white
cultivar - P. auriculata, variant Alba.
While there are some medical uses
for parts of the Plumbago auriculata,
one should be advised that it is
moderately poisonous if eaten.
Having the ability to reach more
than a couple of meters (over six feet)
in height, this woody climbing shrub
is more commonly seen as a low
hedge or border plant as it does best if
regularly pruned – even, occasionally,
cut all the way back to the ground.
It can be cut back to grow like a vine
and made to scramble over supports,
carefully pruned into a compact
mounded shrub or left to sprawl, as it
wishes, with its long, rather gracefully
arching branches. It can also be
incorporated along walls, placed as
foundation plantings or massed in
beds. Some use Cape Plumbago as a
background or filler plant used under
and in front of larger shrubs.
It will bloom, for the most part,
throughout the year, preferring the
warmer months, thriving in humid
environs.
It is important to keep in mind that
the most prolific blooming of one’s
Cape Plumbago will be directly
related to its periodic pruning and
placement in bright sunlight.
Unpruned and left to its own
devices, this how a Plumbago
may appear.
The Cape Plumbgo’s “child
drawn, picture-like” in
appearance, pale to sky blue,
butterfly-friendly, flowers have
won me over!
whorl of a flower which encloses
the corolla, stamens and female
portion of the flower). Its leaves
are oblanceolate to spathulate (like
a reversed lance head, rounded in
appearance, somewhat in a spoon
shape). The new growth is a bright
green but becomes darker when age.
(I just get greyer and more wrinkled!)
The foliage can turn yellowish as
a result of manganese deficiency, but
the application of manganese sulfate
can cure this problem.
In simpler, more innocent times,
children often made “earrings” with
the sticky flowers by letting them cling
to their earlobes. This was naturally
made easy by the tacky, gland tipped
hairs on the flower calyx. The Cape
Plumbago seed capsule maintains
that stickiness which probably helps
disperse the seeds by attaching to
passing animals, where after the
capsule splits opens the seeds drop out.
While it can tolerate drought and
poor soil, if given its preference it
would choose slightly higher altitudes
in which to grow. It also would like
ample sun and for a healthier looking
specimen, grow in fertile, welldraining, properly composted soil.
Do not allow it to dry out.
It can be propagated from seeds,
cuttings or simple division of older
plants.
Tommy Clarkson
Trimmed - with a singular white
cultivar (P. auriculata) placed in
its center - beautifully fills up a
planter box.
Its many, five-ribbed, flowers
are borne on terminal spikes. Its
fruit consists of a small nut that is
enclosed within its calyx (the outer
February - 2016
In Manzanillo, visit Ola Brisa Gardens,
Tommy and Patty’s verdant, multi-terraced
tropical paradise nestled on a hill overlooking
the magnificent vista of Santiago Bay.
Leisurely meander its curved, paved path,
experiencing, first hand, a delicious array
of palms, plants and flowers from all over
the world. Or, e-mail questions to him at
olabrisa@gmail.com
For back issues of “Roots”, gardening tips,
tropical plant book reviews and videos of
numerous, highly unique eco/adventure/
nature tours, as well as memorable
“Ultimate Experiences” such a Tropical
Garden Brunches and Spa Services, please
visit www.olabrisagardens.com
https://www.facebook.com/
olabrisagardens?ref=hl
Brain Teasers
379 43
The New York Times Tuesday Crossword Puzzle
by Alan Arbesfeld / Will Shortz ©New York Times
Solution to Crossword
on Page 11
SUDOKU!
Sudoku is a logic-based placement puzzle.
The aim of the puzzle is to enter a numerical digit from 1 through 9 in each row,
column and group of squares enclosed by the bold lines (also called a box). Each
box must contain each number only once, starting with various digits given in some
cells (the “givens”). Each row, column, and region must contain only one instance of
each numeral. Completing the puzzle requires patience.
It is recommended as therapy because some studies have suggested they might
improve memory, attention and problem solving while staving off mental decline
and perhaps reducing the risk of Alzheimer’s disease.
Solution to Sudoku on Page 11
February - 2016
379
February - 2016

Medical Matters 2016

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