241 - pvmcitypaper

ISSUE 241
SATURDAY 1
ISSUE 241 | JUNE - 2013
SATURDAY 1
FRIDAY 7
JUNE - 2013
FRIDAY 7
2
Need to Know
check before it is requested, so when
you’re ready to leave, ask «La cuenta,
por favor» and your bill will be delivered
to you.
MONEY EXCHANGE: Although
you may have to wait in line for a few
minutes, remember that the banks will
give you a higher rate of exchange than
the exchange booths (caja de cambio).
Better yet, if you have a «bank card»,
withdraw funds from your account back
home. Try to avoid exchanging money at
your hotel. Traditionally, those offer the
worst rates.
I
f you’ve been meaning to find a little information on the region,
but never quite got around to it, we hope that the following will help.
Look at the map in this issue, you will note that PV (as the locals call
it) is on the west coast of Mexico, in the middle of the Bay of Banderas,
the largest bay in this country, that includes southern part of the state
of Nayarit to the north and the northern part of Jalisco to the south.
Thanks to its privileged location -sheltered by the Sierra Madre
mountains- the Bay is well protected against the hurricanes spawned
in the Pacific. Hurricane Kenna came close on October 25, 2002,
but actually touched down in San Blas, Nayarit, some 200 miles
north of PV. The town sits on the same parallel as the Hawaiian
Islands, thus the similarities in the climate of the two destinations.
AREA: 1,300 sq. kilometers
POPULATION: Approx. 325,000
inhabitants
CLIMATE: Tropical, humid, with
an average of 300 sunny days per year.
The temperature averages 28oC (82oF)
and the rainy season extends from late
June to early October.
allowed under certain circumstances
but fishing of any kind is prohibited.
Every year, the Bay receives the visit
of the humpback whales, dolphins and
manta rays in the winter. During the
summer, sea turtles, a protected species,
arrive to its shores to lay their eggs.
FAUNA: Nearby Sierra Vallejo
hosts a great variety of animal species
such as iguana, guacamaya, deer,
raccoon, etc.
ECONOMY: Local economy is
based mainly on tourism, construction
and to a lesser degree, on agriculture,
mainly tropical fruit such as mango,
papaya,
watermelon,
pineapple,
guanabana, cantaloupe and bananas.
SANCTUARIES:
Bahía
de
Banderas encloses two Marine
National Parks - Los Arcos and the
Marieta Islands - where diving is
CURRENCY: The Mexican Peso is
the legal currency in Mexico although
Canadian and American dollars are
widely accepted.
Index
BUSES: A system of urban buses
with different routes. Current fare is
$6.50 Pesos per ticket and passengers
must purchase a new ticket every time
they board another bus. There are no
“transfers”.
TAXIS: There are set rates within
defined zones of the town. Do not enter
a taxi without agreeing on the price with
the driver FIRST. If you are staying in a
hotel, you may want to check the rates
usually posted in the lobby. Also, if you
know which restaurant you want to go,
do not let the driver change your mind.
Many restaurateurs pay commissions to
taxi drivers and you may end up paying
more than you should, in a second-rate
establishment! There are 2 kinds of taxi
SATURDAY 1
cabs: those at the airport and the maritime
port are usually vans that can only be
boarded there. They have pre-fixed rates
per passenger. City cabs are yellow cars
that charge by the ride, not by passenger.
When you ask to go downtown, many
drivers let you off at the beginning of the
area, near Hidalgo Park. However, your
fare covers the ENTIRE central area, so
why walk 10 to 15 blocks to the main
plaza, the Church or the flea market?
Pick up a free map, and insist on your full
value from the driver! Note the number
of your taxi in case of any problem, or
if you forget something in the cab. Then
your hotel or travel rep can help you
check it out or lodge a complaint.
TIME ZONE: The entire State of
Jalisco is on Central Time, as is the
southern part of the State of Nayarit
- from San Blas in the north through
to the Ameca River, i.e.: San Blas,
San Pancho, Sayulita, Punta Mita, La
Cruz de Huanacaxtle, Bucerías, Nuevo
Vallarta, etc.)
TELEPHONE CALLS: Always
check on the cost of long distance
calls from your hotel room. Some
establishments charge as much as U.S.
$7.00 per minute!
CELL PHONES: Most cellular
phones from the U.S. and Canada may
be programmed for local use, through
Telcel and IUSAcell, the local carriers.
To dial cell to cell, use the prefix 322,
then the seven digit number of the
person you’re calling. Omit the prefix if
dialling a land line.
LOCAL CUSTOMS: Tipping
is usually 10%-15% of the bill at
restaurants and bars. Tip bellboys, taxis,
waiters, maids, etc. depending on the
service. Some businesses and offices
close from 2 p.m. to 4 p.m., reopening
until 7 p.m. or later. In restaurants, it is
considered poor manners to present the
ISSUE 241 | JUNE - 2013
FRIDAY 7
WHAT TO DO: Even if your allinclusive hotel is everything you ever
dreamed of, you should experience at
least a little of all that Vallarta has to
offer - it is truly a condensed version of
all that is Mexican and existed before
«Planned Tourist Resorts», such as
Cancun, Los Cabos and Ixtapa, were
developed. Millions have been spent to
ensure that the original “small town”
flavor is maintained downtown, in the
Old Town and on the South Side.
DRINKING WATER: The false
belief that a Mexican vacation must
inevitably lead to an encounter with
Moctezuma’s revenge is just that:
false. For the 21st year in a row, Puerto
Vallarta’s water has been awarded
a certification of purity for human
consumption. It is one of only two
cities in Mexico that can boast of such
accomplishment. True, the quality of
the water tested at the purification plant
varies greatly from what comes out of
the tap at the other end. So do be careful.
On the other hand, most large hotels
have their own purification equipment
and most restaurants use purified water.
If you want to be doubly sure, you can
pick up purified bottled water just about
anywhere.
EXPORTING PETS: Canadian and
American tourists often fall in love with
one of the many stray dogs and cats in
Vallarta. Many would like to bring it
back with them, but believe that the laws
do not allow them to do so. Wrong. If
you would like to bring a cat or a dog
back home, call the local animal shelter
for more info: 293-3690.
LOCAL SIGHTSEEING: A good
beginning would be to take one of the City
Tours offered by the local tour agencies.
Before boarding, make sure you have a
map and take note of the places you want
to return to. Then venture off the beaten
path. Explore a little. Go farther than the
tour bus takes you. And don’t worry this is a safe place.
Sound Off
W
elcome to our first online-only edition of the PV Mirror
City Paper for 2012. This is where you’ll find us, with a new
issue every week, until the end of October – if not sooner.
Thank you all who have sent us emails and Facebook messages
just to let us know that you are -and will continue- reading us
online!
Please don’t stop. These messages help us contract new
advertisers who wish to have their establishments known by
anywhere from 40,000 to 60,000 individual readers (!) who visit
us each month.
We strive to inform, enlighten and entertain our readers.
Whether your interest is local, state, national or international
news, food, finance, fishing, health, or entertainment, the Mirror
is the one to go to.
Dear Editor,
As a new Residente Permanente, I
decided to take my 2002 Honda back to
the US and sell it there. To complicate
matters, my original permit sticker is
gone. A coconut fell from our trusty palm
and hit my windshield last summer and
our building’s handy man replaced it for
me; but the sticker was lost. There does
not seem to be a process for replacement
of that sticker. So, having listened to
all of the gossip about the government
impounding cars; having gone to the
Aduana presentation put on by the US
consulate; and having read everything
I could get my hands on - I left for the
border at Nogales with great trepidations.
Now that you are one of the thousands who visit our web sites
(www.pvmirror.com and www.pvmcitypaper.com) every week
on the Net, you will note that we can add as many pages as we want
without the burden of printing and distribution costs. Consequently,
we want to communicate with you more than ever before, so... Tell
us what’s on your mind. Think of it as your chance to engage in an
ongoing conversation about what really matters to you. Although
the Net is chock full of information, it’s not always the information
you want, presented in the way you want it. To meet this challenge,
we need your help. Knowing what’s on your mind will assist us in
publishing a better Epaper every week.
Get involved, either by email or by joining us on Facebook (P.V.
Mirror) and have your say.
Also, if you’re in Puerto Vallarta as you read this, or if you’re
planning to visit us soon, please don’t forget to tell our advertisers
that you saw them in the PV Mirror (in print or ONLINE).
We thank you once again for your support. Keep those posts,
emails, and “letters to the Editor” coming. Everyone loves them!
We wish you a fabulous week.
Allyna Vineberg
Editor / Publisher
Would I have to pay a fine? Would they
impound my car and leave me stranded at
the border? Well, none of the above.
I drove through several Federale check
points, with no problems. I saw a “Retorno
Permite” check point. Stopped and looked
inside. Totally locked up with no furniture
inside. I decided to pass that function and
head to the border. Stopped at the border
check point and realized it was the USA
Border. We passed with no problems; we
never found anyone on the Mexican side to
check passports, visas, or car permits.
Sr. Buena Suerte
Dear Allyna,
When riding thorough the Parvial tunnel
last October with the second tunnel under
construction, I wondered when it would be
finished. The dust, dirt, and noise, and the
slow progress over the past several years my concern was not regarding heavy rain
and runoff in October - for but holding
my breath in the tunnel as the bus and car
exhaust was nauseating.
Please go to next page for continuation...
SATURDAY 1
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ISSUE 241 | JUNE - 2013
FRIDAY 7
4
Sound Off
Continued from previous page...
I remember all those years traveling through the
single two-way, two-lane tunnel, on my way to Jimmy’s
jewelry store at 377 Venustiano Carranza, which has
been greatly expanded. Riding in a blue bus and with
thoughts of finding another blue amber pendant, or
possibly another amber pendant containing feathers,
but as we approached the tunnel, I could only think of
taking a deep breath, and holding it until the bus exited
the other end. It is hard to imagine that the tunnel design
did not make provisions for the heavy rains. Now I am
wondering if exhaust fans have been installed in only
one, or in both tunnels to expel the vehicle fumes. I
assume in Mexico it is: “Mañana”, good enough for me!
Still breathing
P.S.: Your Happy Anniversaries cover picture and
Editorial in the last printed issue for the season were
great, and perfect for my PV scrapbook.
Contributors:
Anna Reisman
Joe Harrington
Harriet Murray
Stan Gabruk
Giselle Belanger
Krystal Frost
Ronnie Bravo
Gil Gevins
Tommy Clarkson
Luis Melgoza
David Kimball
Office: 223-1128
Graphic Designer:
Leo Robby R. R.
PVMCITYPAPER Online Team
I am so happy that you have Lic. Luis Melgoza
[Legal Matters] on your team at PV Mirror - he
is straightforward, knowledgeable, writes well and
has great perspective from both sides of the border Felicidades!
A Residente Permanente
Dear Residente,
We too are very proud to have him among our
contributors!
The Ed.
Hello Anna [Reisman],
As a newly retired person spending time here and in
the U.S., I have become attached to your writings in the
PV Mirror.
Given the excellent review you gave in Vol. #238, I
have changed a luncheon destination with friends this
Friday to Las Margaritas, based on your written opinion.
I hope we have the same wonderful dining experience
you describe.
Patricia Gracheff
Dear Patricia,
Thank you so much for your trust in my opinions!
You’ll have to let us know how your meal was at Las
Margaritas.
Anna
ISSUE 241 | JUNE - 2013
Allyna Vineberg
avineberg@yahoo.com
Webmaster:
Dear Editor,
SATURDAY 1
Publisher / Editor:
FRIDAY 7
Cover photo:
“Viva Vallarta!”
by Anna Reisman
PV Mirror es una publicación semanal.
Certificados de licitud de título y
contenido en tramite. Prohibida la
reproducción total o parcial de su
contenido, imágenes y/o fotografías sin
previa autorización por escrito del editor.
Sound Off
5
Dear Editor:
The First Annual Bugambilia Festival is over and on behalf of
Puerto Vallarta Garden Club, I would like to say thank you to Anna
(“She Said” column last week) for her kind words and support.
The Mirror has done an excellent job informing its readers of the
schedule as we knew it. Some of our events were changed at the
last minute and some added that we didn’t know about until it
was too late to publicize them. This is the nature of a “first year”.
Next year will be even better!
The following people were extraordinary in their dedication to
the Festival’s success:
Ana Elena Martin del Campo Carrillo, Ale Flores Tino, Prof.
Enrique Barios y Lemon (of the Xuitla Grupo Folklorico, Vianey
Sanchez, Eduardo Covarrubias, Julie Guerrero, Caryn Crump,
Alberto Del Paso, Carlos Mendoza, Ray Carmene, Michael
Holland, Sandra Cesca, Bonnie Mott, Kimberley Bennett, Stephen
Clay, Dee Daneri, B.J. Etchepare, Jim Dumke, Zuled Ventura,
Matthias Vogt, Luis Valencia, Ann Collins, Ginger Carpenter,
Roberta Seeburger, Carolyn Little, and Holly Wright.
A special thank you to our Bugambilia Festival King and Queen,
Rosie Bernal and Carlos Villaseñor.
Bob Price [founder of PV’s Botanical Gardens] saw the first
year of his vision realized; and for the enthusiasm, optimism and
leadership he always demonstrates, we are enormously grateful
and proud to be associated with him.
We are especially appreciative of Petron Tequila for their
generous donation and sponsorship, without forgetting Laura
Espinosa, Pam Greenwood, Chuck Silberstein, Holly Wright, and
Patty Listz.
First place in the beautiful balcony contest was awarded to Bill
and Mary Platzer. Runner-up was Mary Elizabeth O’Connor.
This award is meant to encourage private citizen beautification
to augment what the Puerto Vallarta Garden Club is doing
throughout the city. We hope residents will get an early start and
plan on entering their balcony or façade to the contest next year.
Thank you to those who purchased bougainvillea at the Garden
Club table and especially those who turned around and donated
them to our beautification projects.
Thank you to all who have purchased tiles and sponsored
planters and supported us as members of the Club. Thank you to
our sponsors and event participants. The profits from the Festival
will be directly reinvested in new trees and bougainvillea, and their
maintenance. Everyone can feel great pride in their contribution
to making Puerto Vallarta more beautiful for residents and visitors
alike.
Please go to www.vallartagardenclub.com for further
information and photographs of the events as well as updates
through the summer.
With my gratitude,
Suzanne Kirkpatrick
President
Puerto Vallarta Garden Club
Dear Editor and fellow Vallartans;
I was asked to write and warn people about a scam going around
Vallarta.
You may get a phone call, as I and a few acquaintances did,
saying ‘Hi, your family is coming to town’ (using your last name
gotten from the phone book). When I said, ‘is this Steve?’ they had
their ‘in’. From then on, it was ‘Hi, this is Steve’... First he wanted
to borrow $1,500. Pesos until the next day when he could get to the
bank. Thankfully I was busy all day, so the story changed. That
evening, he allegedly hit a new Audi and was afraid he’d go to jail
and could I help... I said hold on and I’ll call my lawyer and call
you right back. Good move (although I still didn’t know it was a
scam), he texted and said he didn’t need a lawyer, they had settled
the problem.
Other people received a call from their ‘son’, ‘nephew’, etc. SO,
please be alert and don’t go meet anyone to help them out of a
problem, especially if they ask you to come alone and bring money!
It sounds obvious now but at the time he said just the right things
to sound authentic. So far, only land lines have been used - until
you give them your cell phone number, as I did.
By the way, this is happening in the States also, as I found out
when I called ‘Steve’s’ father to tell him about the problem.
Color me naïve
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ISSUE 241 | JUNE - 2013
FRIDAY 7
6
Within PV
Responsible Journalism begins to take hold
in Puerto Vallarta
N
ews is spreading about
Responsible Journalism, a new
initiative spearheaded in Puerto
Vallarta by a select group of news
agencies committed to providing
visitors and locals with credible,
well-crafted news about the
destination without infringing on
each other’s original content. The
latest website to join the association
is Jesus de Avila’s PVMirror Online
Monthly Version.
A Puerto Vallarta resident for
over 30 years, de Avila was a
pioneer in 1996 as far as destination
promotion in Mexico is concerned,
with his now-defunct website,
GoToMexico.
“Most
small
businesses in Puerto Vallarta didn’t
even own computers then,” he
recalls. Presently, he connects with
readers through PVMirror Online
Monthly Version, with the goal of
providing visitors with connections
with the Bay’s finest resources,
with a personal touch.
Any news agencies in Puerto
Vallarta are welcome to join
Responsible Journalism as long as
they abide by the organization’s
principles, clearly outlined in all
participating websites.
In other related news, Vallarta
Lifestyles
Managing
Editor,
Paco Ojeda, had the opportunity
to address students from the
CEUArkos University this past
Friday, in a one-hour presentation
on the topic. The invitation came
from Arturo Montero, chair of the
Communications Department at
the university. “At present time,
our students are involved in a
historical research project about
Colonia Emiliano Zapata, where
the university is located,” explains
Montero. “Having our students
connect on a personal basis with
Puerto
Vallarta
professionals
involved in communications or
publishing is extremely valuable
for them.”
Aside from the principles
upheld by members, Responsible
Journalism hopes to make
connections with Puerto Vallarta’s
educational institutions and convey
to students the importance of
handling information respectfully
and responsibly. “Today’s students
will represent Puerto Vallarta’s
best interests in only a few years
from now,” added Ojeda. “So
spending time with them providing
inspiration and guidance is
absolutely essential.”
(Source: http://virtualvallarta.
com/puertovallarta/news/local/
responsible-journalism-begins-totake-hold-in-puer.shtml)
SATURDAY 1
PV American Legion to host
Dept. of Mexico Convention
P
uerto Vallarta Post
14 will host the American
Legion “Department of
Mexico”
Convention,
consisting of Posts from
Costa Rica, El Salvador,
Guatemala,
Mexico,
Nicaragua and Panama.
The meeting will take
place on June 11, 12 and
13th, with the convention
activity all day Wednesday
at Coco Tropical.
June 11 and 13, the DEC
meeting will be held at Steve’s Sports Bar, POST 14 headquarters.
Tuesday afternoon, after the DEC morning meeting, delegates
will go to Café Roma for pizza. Thursday after the DEC meeting
delegates will go to Sea Monkey on Los Muertos Beach.
Dennis Rike, the Commander of Post 14, along with former
commander Ron Abbe will host Jeanette Rae, National Vice
Commander, Western Region. A United States Air Force veteran
from Reno, Nevada, Jeanette Rae has served as commander of Post
12 in Reno and a service officer for the Department of Nevada.
Rae’s military service began in 1979 and continued until her
retirement as a master sergeant in the Air Force Reserve in 2002.
She is currently a medical administrative officer at the VA Medical
Center in Reno. She has held numerous leadership positions at the
Legion’s post, state and national levels.
For more information, please contact Dennis Rike at 044 (322)
138-8891 or drpost14pv@gmail.com
(Source: D. Hernandez - American Legion)
ISSUE 241 | JUNE - 2013
FRIDAY 7
Within PV
7
ART SALE to benefit Los Mangos Public Library
C
olors on Canvas PV “Make
Way for Summer ART Sale” will
take place on Friday, June 14th from
4 to 7 p.m. and Saturday, June 15th
from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. at the Sea
Monkey Restaurant located at 174
Aquiles Serdan - at Los Muertos
Beach!
Each Colors on Canvas PV artist
will donate a percentage of sale
proceeds to Los Mangos Public
Library.
Both days, the Sea Monkey will
be open for business as usual, with
their value for your money food and
cash bar for drinks. You can take
advantage of the opportunity to
browse and buy excellent original
‘The Old Door’ by Pat Wagner
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ISSUE 241 | JUNE - 2013
FRIDAY 7
oil and acrylic paintings directly
from the artist at substantially
reduced prices, and also sit a
while and enjoy the flavour of Los
Muertos Beach.
We look forward to seeing all
of our old, new and future friends
there and making some much
needed $$ for the Library.
For more details on the “Make Way
for Summer ART sale”, please visit:
http://colorsoncanvaspv.weebly.
com/make-way-for-summer-artsale-june-14--15-2013.html
Web site: http://colorsoncanvaspv.
weebly.com/index.html
Facebook:
https://www.
facebook.com/ColorsOnCanvasPv
8
Within PV
Successful Gay Pride
Parade in PV
Puerto Vallarta’s LGBT community held the city’s first Gay Pride
Festival with assistance from the municipal government. From May 24th
to 26th, 2013; various hotels, beach clubs, restaurants and bars in the
iconic Romantic Zone, Vallarta’s most popular gay district, held events
to celebrate diversity in the city.
Hundreds of people gathered at the corner of Aquiles Serdan and
Ignacio L. Vallarta for the 4 p.m. start of the much anticipated Pride
Parade. Featuring more than 20 floats and hundreds of people, the parade
route continued down the streets of Ignacio L. Vallarta, Basilio Badillo,
Insurgentes and finally Venustiano Carranza to finish at Lazaro Cardenas
Park.
ACT II was commissioned to produce a 4-hour musical event that
started at 5 p.m. and was hosted by La Supermana and Edgar Sanchez,
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ISSUE 241 | JUNE - 2013
FRIDAY 7
Within PV
bringing together some of the best local talent to put on a fantastic open
air concert.
The talented DJ Marco, one of the most popular in Vallarta, was in
charge of spinning the opening set and he put out a fabulous mix of beats
that had festival-goers on the dance floor.
There were also numerous food stalls, community organizations
and local businesses participating in the park festivities, joining in the
celebration of equality.
In conjunction with the sponsors, the Vallarta Pride Organizing
Committee raffled fabulous prizes to raise funds and continue to promote
Pride events for 2014.
Although the festival at Lazaro Cardenas Park ended promptly at 9:30
p.m. (out of respect for the neighbors), the party went on until dawn at
nearby bars and clubs.
Organizers, sponsors, participants and the LGBT community were
pleased with the acceptance and success of what was the first Gay Pride
Festival in Puerto Vallarta.
For more information, please visit http://gaypv.mx or http://
visitpuertovallarta.com
All photos from Gay Guide Vallarta
SATURDAY 1
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FRIDAY 7
9
10
Beyond PV
PV in Forbes’ Top 10 Mexican Cities for Business
The tourism business generates 151,100 jobs employments,
of which 85,000 are direct and 66,000 indirect, according to a
study conducted by the Secretary of Tourism that also states
that meetings and conventions in Mexico contribute 1.43 % to
the country’s Gross Domestic Product (GDP).
According to the list of the ten best cities in which to carry
on business in Mexico, published in the Forbes México web
site, Puerto Vallarta and Riviera Nayarit rank 8th and 10th
respectively, based on the numbers regarding the conventions
market, published in the specialty publication, The Meeting
Planner’s Magazine.
The above mentioned magazine evaluated four priority
factors such as air and land connections, infrastructure for
business conventions, capacity of accommodations in executive
class and the gastronomic offer, in addition to checking safety
aspects, hospitality and quality attention.
Vallarta and Riviera Nayarit
The eighth place on the list is for Puerto Vallarta; Forbes’
report states that its Gustavo Díaz Ordaz International Airport
handles more than 260 weekly flights proceeding mostly from
within the Mexican Republic, the United States and Canada.
PV’s International Convention Center is the main site with
5,000 square meters of open space free of columns for exhibits,
with maximum capacity for 6,000 guests, who can attend
simultaneous events in eight separate halls.
The city’s hotels offer upwards of 20,000 rooms in categories
ranging from Gran Turismo, Boutiques, Five Stars, to traditional
Mexican hotels.
In Riviera Nayarit (Punta Mita, La Cruz de Huanacaxtle,
Bucerías, Nuevo Vallarta, etc.) which ranks tenth on the list, the
main site for doing tourism business is at the Grand Velas All
Suites & Spa Resort, with 267 suites and 5,300 square meters for
meetings with a maximum capacity for 800 guests, followed by
the Marival Resort & Suites, with 495 rooms and a Convention
Center for 1,000 people, the Paradise Village Resort, with 700
suites and a Convention Center for 1,250 people, the Riu Palace
Pacific Ocean, with 445 junior suites, and 600 square meters with
a capacity for 1,500.
(Source: Rodrigo López Becerril – Vallarta Opina)
The PV Mirror welcomes
news from the South Shore
It gives us great pleasure to welcome our new contributor,
David Kimball, who will keep our readers abreast of the various
happenings along the Costa Alegre to the south of Puerto Vallarta.
We hope you enjoy his writings (P. 11) as much as we do.
Joe Harrington’s weekly movie
reviews will return next week.
Joe has hundergone eye suregery, which is why he was unable to
attend any movie functions this past week.
Get well quick, Joe!
SATURDAY 1
ISSUE 241 | JUNE - 2013
FRIDAY 7
South Shore Shorts
11
Meditations from Cabo Corrientes
by DAVID KIMBALL
“. . . I would think how words go
straight up in a thin line, quick and
harmless, and how terribly doing
goes along the earth, clinging to it,
so that after a while the two lines are
too far apart for the same person to
straddle from one to the other.” William Faulkner
When most political people
talk about the time required for
infrastructure projects, we become
immediately wary about the
difference between “words” and
“doing”.
But I just met with the Presidente
Municipal [Mayor] of Cabo
Corrientes,
PV’s
neighboring
Municipality, and he is excited
about infrastructure. Now, you
must stifle that yawn and remember
that in a place as deprived of it as
Cabo Corrientes, infrastructure
can be a revelation. It seems
perverse to choose a subject as
boring as infrastructure for my first
contribution to the PV Mirror, a very
lively publication. But infrastructure
is everything, especially when you
don’t have it.
Infrastructure literally refers
something that’s below something
else (infra is “below” in Latin).
These days, of course, there is
a lot of infrastructure that is no
longer below anything. Like WiFi
or cell phone signals or dish TV
or satellites. Modern infrastructure
is often up in the air somewhere,
invisible, “quick and harmless”.
By contrast, the most fundamental
infrastructure requirements for any
society tend to be at ground level or
below. Roads, bridges, water pipe.
In fact, I think I bored the
Presidente Municipal by asking a
couple of questions with painfully
obvious answers. “What do you
need most in Cabo Corrientes?”
“Infrastructure.”
“What kind of infrastructure do
you most need?” I asked.
“Roads,” he said.
Ing. Homero Romero Amaral,
has been Mayor since late last year.
Unlike many people in political
positions, he is willing to make his
best estimates about when to expect
completion of various government
projects. For example, he says that
paving the road from El Tuito to the
beach town of Mayto is expected to
be completed by the end of 2015.
There are 16 kms remaining to be
paved out of the total of 44 kms, so
2015 seems like an achievable goal.
What’s so interesting about that
piece of infrastructure? It’s not the
actual physical distance covered,
which is only about 28 miles.
Millions of people travel that far to
work every morning.
Instead, the value comes not from
the distance, but from the intense
contrast in terrain and features
between the two areas being
connected. The paved road will
open access to a glorious area of
Pacific coastline which is really so
close but yet so far without a good
all-weather access road. Mayto is
only 44 kms from El Tuito. With
a good, well paved road, Mayto is
in the day-trip zone. It would be
the perfect place for an outing that
includes not only a much shorter
travel time, but all of the features
unique to that extraordinary
coastal area: Beautifully empty
beaches with pelicans for company.
Excellent local seafood.
And of course, when the road is
completed, there will be a steady
merging of features and attractions:
SATURDAY 1
El Tuito, for its part, will have a
bank and a gas station and probably
even a hospital. For tourists and
second home dwellers, it will have
its perfect weather, its valleys
with citrus orchards, oak and pine
forests and easy access to Vallarta
in less than an hour. So the two
communities will begin to almost
unintentionally support each other
through infrastructure that will
link their interests and improve
attractions.
It won’t be perfect. Projects like
road building in Mexico always
need to rely on mixed federal, state
and local funding which means that
there will be surprises and delays
that cannot be controlled by any
local official. The paved road to
Mayto, for example, depends on a
large amount of state money.
There are a number of other
critical
infrastructure
projects
in Cabo Corrientes, all on a
conventional calendar but all meant
to magically compress time. For
example, the South Bay beach
towns of Las Animas and Quimixto
will be linked by a new road that
will connect with Highway 200 at
Las Juntas y Veranos. This new road
“nos permitirá estar en las playas
aproximadamente en 20 minutes,”
according to Ing. Romero. Twenty
minutes after taking the new turn
off, you will be there.
I do not yet have a calendar for
that project, but I did receive a
remarkable projection from Ing.
Homero for the completion of the
enormous new dam and reservoir at
Los Panales in the middle of Cabo
Corrientes. Today, it is only 20%
complete, but Ing. Homero thinks
ISSUE 241 | JUNE - 2013
FRIDAY 7
it can be opened at some point next
year. The Presa de Los Panales
could have even greater impact
than the new roads. For the first
time, agricultural projects covering
8,000 hectares could have enough
water to dramatically change what
has always been a very beautiful
but very dry landscape. And, the
tourism potential so important
to the parched economy of Cabo
Corrientes, could finally bloom.
I have selfish interests in the
subject of Cabo Corrientes where
I have been working for the last
three years on an ecological land
project for cabins and homes. It’s
called Tierra Alta. I won’t always
write about my own project for this
publication and I do promise to write
about subjects other than bridges
and roads. But I also want to avoid
“how words go straight up in a thin
line….” I’ll try to have substance or
at least humor in everything I send
to Allyna.
See you here again soon.
David Kimball is a retired
journalist and businessman who has
lived in Mexico for 30 years. For
12 years, he worked for Business
Week Magazine in Mexico City
where he researched and wrote the
magazine’s Special Supplements on
Mexican business. He lives with his
wife, Xochitl, in Puerto Vallarta and
plans to retire to Tierra Alta, their
ecological land development for
cabins and homes just outside of El
Tuito. Cell from the US or Canada:
011-521 (322) 294-2141. Home
office: 222-9180, Email:
david@tuitorealestate.com www.
tuitorealestate.com
12
Good Bites
Top chefs say Latin America will become culinary superpower
T
he world’s top chefs say
it’s only a matter of time before
Latin America, home to Brazil’s
black bean stew “feijoada,” Peru’s
refreshing raw fish “ceviche” and
Mexico’s street tacos, cooks its
way into gastronomy’s elite.
Spanish pastry king Jordi
Roca and Danish chef Rene
Redzepi, who runs the kitchen
of Copenhagen’s famed Noma
restaurant, praised the growing
recognition of the region’s diverse
cuisine.
“It’s a question of time for (Latin American
chefs) to reach the top because, to me, they
already are at the same level as Europe,”
Roca, whose El Celler de Can Roca was
named the world’s best restaurant by British
magazine Restaurant, told AFP.
Latin America is at the “vanguard” of
cuisine, with Mexico, Brazil and Peru
leading this culinary boom in a region where
“popular food is deeply rooted and very
rich,” he said.
For the Spanish chef, Latin Americans
are mixing history, tradition and indigenous
tastes with creativity and cutting edge
techniques. The use of cilantro or acidic and
spicy flavours give it another edge.
Roca and Redzepi were among the star
attractions at the 2013 Mesoamerican
gastronomy congress in Mexico City this
week, which gathered six of the world’s best
chefs, including Brazil’s Alex Atala.
The attendance of culinary talent at such
events “reaffirms that Latin America is a world
power,” said Roca.
Atala’s D.O.M. restaurant in Sao Paulo is in
sixth place in Restaurant’s top 50 list, making
him the best ranked Latin American chef. Two
Peruvian restaurants, two from Mexico and one
more from Brazil made the list.
“Today we must feel grown-up and know that
we are no longer the ugly ducklings,” Atala said.
“We are living a historic moment, a process of
change.”
Redzepi, whose Noma restaurant was
dethroned by Roca this year after a three-year
reign, said such lists can be criticized but it has
opened Latin American cuisine to the rest of the
world.
SATURDAY 1
ISSUE 241 | JUNE - 2013
FRIDAY 7
“Now it is not impossible to
think that the best restaurant can
be from Mexico, Brazil, Peru
or Denmark,” he told a news
conference. “This was totally
impossible 10 years ago.”
Redzepi, who has adapted
Mexico’s “mole” sauce for one
of his trademark dishes, also
predicted that a Latin American
restaurant would soon be Number
1.
The region will reach the top of
international cuisine thanks to “a
diversity of tastes with hundreds of thousands
of years of history” but also its search for
something new.
“You just have to wait because the time will
come,” he said with a smile.
Redzepi had a good review for the Mexico
City restaurant Pujol, which was Number 17
on the British magazine’s list, saying he could
not remember having eaten so well.
“For me it is at another level,” the Dane
said after eating there this week.
“Sometimes in Europe there can be a cheap
or simple idea about Latin American cuisine,”
he said. “But there are many restaurants
here that are more developed than many in
Denmark.”
(Source: Agence France-Presse/Relaxnews
– www.themalaysianinsider.com)
Vallarta Voices
by ANNA REISMAN
Back in February, when we had all sorts of visiting house guests,
some of them gave me American Dollars in exchange for Pesos. So
when I received the notice that this year’s payment was
due on my Fideicomiso (the Trust on my place), and it was
indicated in U.S. Dollars, I took them to Santander -my
bank- to make the payment. That didn’t work. It had to be
done at a branch of Bancomer. “Santander has no agreement
with Bancomer. Sorry.”
So off I went on a short walk to the Bancomer branch
downtown, with my Dollars. Well, that didn’t work either.
Turns out that Bancomer is one of the Mexican banks that are
not allowed to exchange dollars, for anyone, doesn’t matter
whether American, Canadian or Mexican. So, the dollars
went back into my purse, I went to the ATM downstairs
with my debit card, took out some Pesos and returned to the
wicket to pay my dues with them. Done.
I bought some delicious tejuino with lime-flavored shaved
ice to refresh myself on the way back to the parking garage,
and I thought. I thought about how useless, ineffective and
counterproductive -in my humble opinion, of course- are all
those measures implemented by the authorities over the past
few years to stem money laundering by drug dealers and
cartels.
In Puerto Vallarta like in most if not all of this country’s
resort towns, vendors will not turn away a potential customer
who wants to pay in cash, whether pesos or dollars. Of
course not. Why would they? The problem arises when the vendor
wants to deposit his earnings into a bank account. No one can deposit
more than $15,000. Pesos per month in cash (about $1,208. USD at
today’s exchange rate) into any one bank account. Everything over
and above that amount is subject to a 3% tax. This results in more and
more folks keeping their money at home, which in turn increases the
size of Mexico’s huge “grey” market, the one that doesn’t pay taxes.
Did the purportedly wise people who passed this law really think that
the big bad guys deal in amounts as piddly as $300. USD per week?
When it was first implemented, this regulation allowed deposits up
to $20,000. Pesos per month, and the tax on excesses was only 2%.
Obviously, that didn’t go too far towards their goal, so they made the
“penalty” even higher. Hmmm… I wonder how well that’s working
for them.
And while I’m on the topic of high finance, Costco is selling huge,
simple, round wall clocks, for $219. Pesos. I was wondering… if I
bought one and donated it to the administrator of our international
airport, do you think he would consider putting it up? Maybe he’ll just
tell me that he can’t because the zillions they receive for infrastructural
SATURDAY 1
13
improvements aren’t enough to cover the cost of electricity needed
to run it…
This is for those of you who like Indian clothes - men and women:
I came upon a new shop called Ropa Hindu (316 Libertad, across the
street from Las Margaritas) where you can pick up all the beautiful
made-in-India stuff sold around PV …at half price! The owner is a
most pleasant young man, born in India, who’s only been in Mexico
for three years, yet speaks perfect Spanish. Go figure.
Another thing I cannot figure out is the behavior of our local flora.
The primavera trees are in bloom – again! – which is why I went
back downtown to take a photo of the statue of Ignacio L. Vallarta
with the beautiful yellow blooms behind him. I also
have a Queen’s Wreath plant in front of my place. That’s
the one our friend Tommy Clarkson wrote about in Issue
# 235 of the Mirror back in April. Well, it’s blooming
again too! I’m no botanist and I have no explanation. All
I know is that I love it!
I just found out that the second pirate ship, initially
called La Perla Negra and then renamed the Jolly Roger,
is leaving Puerto Vallarta. She’ll be sailing around the
Panama Canal on her way to the turquoise waters (and
more lucrative market) of Cancun. I’ll miss the “battles”
staged between her and the original, the beautiful
Marigalante galleon, but I must admit I didn’t like her as
much as the latter. I love the Marigalante. Always did...
the tours she offers, the shows on board, and the food all super! I always make sure that my guests experience
it at least once.
I hope that you who are here in PV have enjoyed the
various exciting events held over the last couple of
weeks. We sure did. And we got to visit a good number
of the restaurants participating in Restaurant Week too.
Now, once the fireworks are over this Friday, Puerto
Vallarta usually goes through a short hiatus, until the
kids are let out of school and it gets really busy again
until the end of August. We may also have some really good news
for my fellow Canadians who are in PV this summer. We’ll be sure
to tell you all about it as soon as everything is confirmed.
In the meantime, in case you’re still not “friends” with the Mirror
on Facebook (P.V. Mirror) I’d like to share something our friend Paco
Ojeda, Managing Editor of Vallarta Lifestyles, posted yesterday:
“Are you here through the Summer? Are you having a good time
keeping busy? Successfully? If so, we want to hear your story. We
are looking for positive stories of local people (Mexican nationals
and expats) enjoying Summer in Vallarta, to help dispel the notion
that there is nothing to enjoy during the Summer months. Help us
prove the world wrong by connecting with us at editor@mexmags.
com” Yeay, Paco! Great idea.
So, until we meet again in cyberspace next week, please don’t
forget to keep up to date by “befriending” the Mirror –or me- on
Facebook. Have a wonderful week, keep cool, and a most Happy
Anniversaries to you, my beloved Puerto Vallarta! May you live
long and prosper. Hasta luego. sheis@ymail.com
ISSUE 241 | JUNE - 2013
FRIDAY 7
14
Legal Matters
their non-qualifying vehicles out of
Mexico.
Thanks to Larry Price, who informed
me of this change. Information which
I confirmed, by phone, with the
Administración Central de Operación
Aduanera immediately prior to writing
this.
Ask Luis
by LUIS MELGOZA
B
REAKING NEWS: On Monday,
May 27, the Customs Main Legal
Administration issued temporary
guidelines that will benefit some folks
whose immigration status changed
from FM3 No Lucrativa or FM2 No
Lucrativa to Residente Temporal No
Lucrativa to apply for an extension of
their vehicle’s temporary import permit
(TIP).
Please note that not all Residente
Temporal No Lucrativa qualify, all
applications for TIP extension will be
determined on a case by case basis
until further notice, and, the application
may be approved or denied also on a
case by case basis. Any application
denied will result in an invitation to
either permanently import a qualifying
vehicle or apply for Safe Return
(Retorno Seguro) benefits if the vehicle
doesn’t qualify.
An application for TIP extension must
be filed either with the SAT’s Local
Legal Administration (Administración
Local Jurídica), in PV on Francisco
Villa across from Costco, or mailed to:
Administración
de
Operación
Aduanera “3”
Ave. Hidalgo No. 77,
Módulo IV, 1er. piso
Col. Guerrero
Delegación Cuahtémoc
06300 Mexico, DF
The application must include four
copies of:
— No Lucrativa FM3/FM2
— Residente Temporal No Lucrativa
card
— Foreign passport (picture page)
— Temporary Import Permit
document
— Free-style letter (in Spanish),
addressed to Administración Central
de Operación Aduanera, requesting
the TIP extension on the basis of
immigration status change from
FM3/FM2 No Lucrativa to Residente
Temporal No Lucrativa.
The application must be filed
locally - or, if mailed, received by
the Administración de Operación
Aduanera “3” - within 15 days of the
change in status.
Customs informed me that the
application may be also filed while
the change in status is pending,
once Immigration has informed the
temporary importer that the new status
will be that of Residente Temporal No
Lucrativa; in which case, the free-style
letter must include a sworn statement
in this respect, instead of submitting
copies of the Residente Temporal No
Lucrativa card.
A decision may be expected after
15 calendar days of the application
receipt; however, it may take much
longer than this. The upside is that
while the application is pending, the
temporarily imported vehicle is legal;
providing all other local, state and
federal requirements are met (i.e. valid
and current registration in a foreign
country, etc.)
If the application is approved, the
temporarily imported vehicle would
be legal for as long as the importer has
the Residente Temporal No Lucrativa
status, unless this is changed by future
guidelines; again, providing all other
local, state and federal requirements
are met at all times.
Those under any type of Residente
Permanente or Residente Temporal
Lucrativa status do not qualify for any
kind of TIP extension and must either
permanently import their qualifying
vehicles or apply for the Retorno
Seguro (Safe Return) program to take
SATURDAY 1
Dear Luis: Can a temporary import
sticker be turned in at the border by
someone other than the car’s owner?
Dear Pam: Any person who qualifies
to drive the foreign-plated vehicle may
present it at the border to have the
temporary import permit cancelled.
The temporary importer should give
that person an authorization letter, in
Spanish, to avoid any complications.
Dear Luis: A local customs broker
told me that I can permanently import
my car without taking it to the border;
but that it would be cheaper to do it at
the border. Is this possible?
Also, ONAPPAFA told me that I
don’t have to be a member in order for
them to permanently import my car.
They would not use an Amparo for this,
either. They would import it to the state
of Chihuahua; then, I can register it in
Jalisco.
Dear Larry: The Law orders a
physical inspection of the vehicle,
by both Customs and Environmental
Agency officers - to determine the
value of the vehicle and ensure that
it meets environmental standards
-, immediately prior to granting a
permanent import permit. This is only
done at the border (and commercial
ports, when importing by sea).
ISSUE 241 | JUNE - 2013
FRIDAY 7
If a Customs Broker does it locally,
they would be skirting the Law; not
necessarily illegal, but I wouldn’t
risk it. To your second question: The
State of Chihuahua enacted legislation
that authorizes that state, itself, to
issue registrations to any vehicle,
whether or not legally in Mexico. The
problem is that this is an usurpation
of federal powers and that legislation
is not recognized by any other state
in Mexico, much less by the Federal
Government. While it might be
possible to register locally a vehicle
thus imported to Chihuahua, through
extra-legal means, you would probably
have trouble with it out of Chihuahua.
Send me your questions to askluis@
pvgeeks.com, I am not able to answer
each message privately due to the
volume of mail I receive. Should you
need personal attention, please call me
at (322) 164-4049 to schedule a private
consultation.
Luis Melgoza is a former PRI
(Mexico’s ruling party) Head Counsel
and Legal Adviser to the Mexican
Congress. Although retired from the
legal profession, he is a highly respected
consultant for both the foreign and
Mexican communities in Puerto Vallarta,
and he provides professionally certified
commercial and residential computer
and networks solutions locally through
his company, PVGeeks. You can reach
Luis at lumel@pvgeeks.com
Health Matters
The Other Woman
by GISELLE BELANGER
RN, LCSW
Sometime in the early “90’s an absolutely gigantic yacht crept
into the marina. It was so large it seemed to swallow all of the
other boats and yachts. It looked like a whale next to all of the
little fish. It was called “The Other Woman”. Clearly it occupied
a “large space” in the owner’s life just as it did in the marina.
Many couples have something that interferes as much as another
woman/mistress/lover. It could be an actual lover, a career, a
sport or hobby, or an addiction. Does your relationship suffer
from some type of “other woman”?
She may break up the marriage
This “other woman” can be very demanding of time, money,
emotions, leaving everyone else involved in the life of the one
with such a lover feeling angry, resentful, jealous and desperate.
Obviously, this causes many fights and can often cause the
relationship or marriage to end. It is important for the person
with such a lover to find out why they need this distraction or
escape, and how to rescue themselves and their relationship from
it, before it destroys everything. (“The person” with this lover
will be referred to in the masculine form).
The “inbox is always full”
Just as another woman can be very consuming so can a career,
an addiction, or a sport/hobby. A career is an easy one to justify
because he is making such a noble effort to provide for his family
and create a better lifestyle and standard of living. He really does
“have to” make those calls, entertain those customers, attend
long meetings that cause him to miss his children’s events or
family gatherings, etc. He is so consumed by it that he cannot
even see that there is another, healthier, better way. Basically, he
cannot see a way out. He may even blame everyone else for not
understanding why he has to continue this way. It consumes him
to the point that his work is never done or as they say the “inbox
is always full”. There will always be more work than time and in
order for him to turn this around he needs to learn to walk away,
the same as he would have to from a lover.
Anything to protect his lover
An addiction can also be very consuming and eventually
progress and evolve to the point where nothing else matters. In
many ways, it is or can be the most destructive kind of “other
woman”. This is because it’s more than a behavioral problem,
complicated by physical addiction involving brain chemicals and
the nervous system. The entire day and week is planned around
the drug use or “time spent with his lover”.
SATURDAY 1
15
Just like a lover, the drug demands his time and his money. It will
most likely put him debt, interrupt his work or job performance, or
even cause him to lose his job. He may take bigger risks in order
to protect his “lover” (drug) and/or the secret that she exists. If
questioned, he will deny that she exists or claim that it is over; that
he’s no longer seeing her (no longer using).
Unfair competition
From the spouse’s point of view, addiction or the drug, is an
unfair competition. At least she can attempt to compete with another
woman; with her beauty, her figure, her personality, her sexiness,
but how does she compete with the effects of a drug? One woman
complained, “How can I make him feel like the cocaine does? It’s
impossible.”
I’ll never leave you
He insists he would never leave you for her, that he doesn’t love
her, he loves you. Sometimes he just can’t help it and finds himself
looking for her even if it’s been weeks or months since the last time
(drugs, his next big work project, or an actual lover). He desperately
wishes he could forget about her. He promises to change and be
more devoted to the relationship and/or to his kids. You are his life
and he can’t imagine life without you. But each time he goes to
use (drugs) or accept the next promotion or contact his mistress, he
has left you figuratively and literally. He has abandoned the cause,
chosen her over you, his job, and all things that make his life special.
Get out or be consumed
No matter who or what the “other woman” is, he needs to
recognize that it is a problem interfering with all other aspects of
his life and consuming all of him; emotionally, mentally, physically,
and spiritually, as well as exhausting his resources; time, money,
and energy. He must get out or be consumed and you (and your
children) must get out even if doesn’t. Do not go down with the ship.
Facing the crisis and upheaval of another woman does not have to
be the end. Instead, it can be the catalyst for a new beginning; an
opportunity to change and improve the relationship.
Giselle Belanger, RN, LCSW (psychotherapist) is available for
appointments in person, by phone, or by skype webcam. Contact
info: NEW! ggbelangerpv@gmail.com, Mex cell: 044 (322) 1389552 or US cell: (312) 914-5203.
ISSUE 241 | JUNE - 2013
FRIDAY 7
16
Health Matters
Body & Sol
by KRYSTAL FROST
organic-select@hotmail.com
Read and laugh…
or weep
O
ne of my friends sent this to me in an
email…
In the beginning, God created the Heavens
and the cauliflower and spinach, green and
yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man
and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
Then using God’s great gifts, Satan created
Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream and Krispy Creme
Donuts. And Satan said, “You want chocolate
with that?”
And Man said, “Yes!” and Woman said, “and
as long as you’re at it, add some sprinkles.” And
they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.
And God created the healthful yogurt that
Woman might keep the figure that Man found
so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour
from the wheat and sugar from the cane and
combined them. And Woman went from size 6
to size 14.
So God said, “Try my fresh green salad.”
And Satan presented Thousand-Island dressing,
buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side.
And Man and Woman unfastened their belts
following the repast.
God then said, “I have sent you heart healthy
vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them.”
And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and
chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own
platter. And Man gained more weight and his
cholesterol went through the roof.
God then created a light, fluffy white cake,
named it “Angel Food Cake,” and said, “It is
good.” Satan then created chocolate cake and
named it “Devil’s Food.” God then brought
forth running shoes so that His children might
lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable
TV with a remote control so Man would not
have to toil changing the channels.
SATURDAY 1
ISSUE 241 | JUNE - 2013
FRIDAY 7
And Man and Woman laughed and cried
before the flickering blue light and gained
pounds.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally
low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And
Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the
starchy center into chips and deep-fried them.
And Man gained pounds.
God then gave lean beef so that Man might
consume fewer calories and still satisfy his
appetite. And Satan created McDonald’s and its
99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, “You
want fries with that?” And Man replied, “Yes!
And super size them!” And Satan said, “It is
good.” And Man went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed and created quadruple bypass
surgery. Then Satan created HMOs (Health
Maintenance Organization - a type of managed
care organization that provides a form of health
insurance coverage in the United States).
Thought for the day: There is more money
being spent on breast implants and Viagra
today than on research for a cure to Alzheimer’s
disease. This means that by 2040, there should be
a large elderly population with perky boobs and
huge erections and absolutely no recollection of
what to do with them.
OH MY GOD!
Krystal Frost is a long time resident of
Puerto Vallarta. Graduate of University of
Guadalajara, and specialized in cosmetic
acupuncture at Bastyr University in Washington
State. She is the owner of Body & Sol for over 15
years where she practices traditional Chinese
medicine, acupuncture, massage therapy, yoga,
meditation and nutritional counseling. She
has created healing programs for individuals,
retreats and spas. Questions and comments may
be directed to organic-select@hotmail.com
Gil Gevins’ Page
THE LIST
by GIL GEVINS
www.gilgevins.com
I was casually browsing the
internet when I came across a
regular feature on Yahoo! called,
NEWS FOR YOU, something
of a condensed version of the
day’s most notable events. To my
profound amazement, it consisted
of the following list. Please read it
carefully.
 CALIFORNIA WIFE WHO
KILLED, COOKED HUSBAND
SEEKS PAROLE
 NO SPORT, JUST SEX
FOR BASKETBALL STAR
 HOW DID BUCKINGHAM
PALACE MISS A CORPSE
ROTTING A HUNDRED YARDS
AWAY
 BANK AMERICA TO SHUT
DOWN LENDING DIVISION
 NEW
HAMPSHIRE
OFFICIAL: HUSBAND KILLS
WIFE WHO STRANGLED SON
 5 ARRESTED IN PERU
SEX SLAVERY RAID
 RESEARCH
REVEALS
ORAL SEX MAY BE LEADING
CAUSE OF THROAT, MOUTH
CANCERS
 BOY LOCKED IN COFFIN
IN
PENNSYLVANIA
HOME;
POLICE SEEK PARENTS
 SOUTH AFRICA REJECTS
10 MILLION CHINESE CONDOMS
- TOO SMALL
My first thought was that when
some future historian wrote The
Decline and Fall of Western
Civilization, this list (unadorned
and unexplained) could serve as
the book’s preface. Not because
it was representative of what was
happening at this particular moment
in time, but because someone
working at Yahoo! had decided that
this was what their customers wanted
to read. A frightening thought! And
what if it was true?
I set out at once to analyze the
headlines, breaking them down
by category. Of the nine total, five
involved violence, three involved
sex and one was about the collapse
of the American banking system.
This told me three things: one,
people are obsessed with sex
and violence; two, people are
only mildly concerned about the
imminent collapse of our financial
institutions; and three…um, the
third would be…uh…whoops.
Then I began to wonder if, aside
from the Bank America story, any of
these headlines was based in actual
fact. I decided to pick one at random
and research it in depth. Here are
the results:
Size-wise, the Chinese condoms
were indeed more suitable for a
parakeet than a human being. But
even worse, they were impregnated
with several undesirable substances,
including a thin coating of
radioactive lead.
After weeks of emails, phone calls
and faxes, I was finally able to get
Chung Ho, the CEO of LPCC (the
Life Prevention Company of China)
on the telephone.
“Is it true,” I asked him, “that your
condoms were found to be coated
with radioactive lead?”
“Yes,” he admitted, “but only on
the outside. The fact is, once those
condoms are boiled overnight in
Clorox, they are perfectly safe.
As we speak the South African
government is being sued for
prophylactic profiling.”
“What about the pesticides?” I
asked him.
“Pesticides?”
SATURDAY 1
17
“Yes,” I said, “and the rat matter.
And the dog hairs?”
“Allow me to respectfully
inform you that no rat feces or
pesticides have ever been found in
our condoms. You were, thinking,
I am sure, of a small problem we
experienced last year with our Chow
Doun Baby Food™ division.”
“Yes, Mr. Ho, I remember that
now. My apologies.”
“Accepted. I cannot emphasize
enough that there was absolutely
no linkage between the condoms
and the baby-food—rat matter and
pesticide-wise. And dog hairs,”
he added, “are a highly effective
aphrodisiac. Which is why, here in
China, we call the dog: ‘Man’s Best
Friend’.”
With friends like you, I thought,
who needs enemies.
As part of my research I had
discovered that LPCC was merely
a subsidiary of a much larger
corporation: CCCC (the Cheap
Chinese Crap Company), which
among other things, manufactured
Lawn Toys, Baby Aspirin, Sulfuric
Acid,
Disposable
Christmas
Ornaments and Flame-Retardant
Pajamas.
“What about CCCC, Mr. Ho,” I
said, “your parent company. They’ve
had their share of scandals as well,
have they not?”
“‘Scandal’ is far too strong a
word.”
“You don’t think all those
drownings were scandalous?” I
asked, referring to the backyard
plastic swimming pools they sold.
“Accidents,” Mr. Ho said
dismissively. “Or the fault of
negligent parents. You must
remember, all we are selling these
people are large pieces of plastic;
they are the ones who put the water
in.”
“But, Mr. Ho,” I insisted, “you
have to admit, a fifty per cent
mortality rate is pretty high.”
“Fifty, forty, five, ten,” Mr. Ho
said airily, “these are just numbers.”
“And what about the slides?” I
asked.
“What about them?”
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FRIDAY 7
“Didn’t they find razor blades
embedded in those slides? I read that
several children were cut up pretty
badly.”
“Those were not razor blades. They
were merely minor imperfections
in the metal slide material, causing
a few children (those not wearing
protective jumpsuits, I might point
out) to receive minor cuts and
abrasions.”
“I heard there was blood, Mr. Ho.
Lots of it.”
“Lots? Mr. Ho asked. “Are those
not what you decadent capitalists
build your houses upon?”
This Mr. Ho, I realized, was a
pretty slippery character, but I was
determined to pin him down. “All
right, Mr. Ho, I’m willing to accept
all that, but you still can’t explain
away all those ‘live tests’ you did on
your Flame-Retardant pajamas.”
“Those tests,” Mr. Ho said
indignantly, “were done on dogs, not
humans.”
“And you don’t think it’s wrong to
throw dogs into a fire?”
“Most of those dogs,” he pointed
out, “were wearing the Flame
Retardant pajamas.”
“And none of them were injured?”
“Only a few.”
“And what happened to them,
Mr. Ho? Don’t you realize that
Westerners find this sort of thing
highly offensive?”
“Yes, all your decadent beehugger ecologists, who want their
cake, but don’t want to eat it. Well,
in this case, even they will be happy.
Those animals did not go to waste.
In the interests of saving the planet,
we have recycled them into our
newest Cantonese specialty: Bow
Wow Fu Yung.”
Gil Gevins is the author of four
hilarious books, including the bestseller, PUERTO VALLARTA ON
49 BRAIN CELLS A DAY, and the
side-splitting novel, SLIME AND
PUNISHMENT. Gil’s books are
available on Amazon and Amazon
KINDLE.
18
Fish Tales
Rollercoaster bites,
seasonal species in flux,
big Dorado
Written by STAN GABRUK
of Master Baiter´s Sportfishing and Tackle
Every year we come to expect
certain things. But after a few
years of really upside-down
fishing, I have learned, along
with many others, it would be
easier to predict what my ex-wife
was going to do next. Normally,
what is happening now happens
in April. Some days the fishing is
incredible, other days will have
you pulling your hair out. Having
said that, Striped Marlin are all
over the deep water locations
with Bull Dorado.
For now, the fishing is great, but
not every day. If you are looking
for some real action, you’ll have
to hit places like Corbeteña, El
Banco or the Tres Marias Islands
…or in between! Basically there
are Striped Marlin throughout
the area, but not on The Rock
SATURDAY 1
or on the high spots. But if you
have a little fuel left in your
tank, venture out a few miles
and you’ll find Striped Marlin
and even maybe a shot at a Black
Marlin. Not that Black Marlin are
prevalent, but water temperatures
are climbing, as a result Black
Marlin will increase by the week,
I think... Ok, I hope! Be patient.
Also Bull Dorado are around the
area, especially if you can find a
floating clump of weeds or a log
or even plastic bag trash. Maybe
if lucky, you’ll find a buoy and
the Dorado will be abundant.
But if you’re expecting this to be
automatic, it won’t be. Cubera
Snapper at both Corbeteña and El
Banco if you don’t mind jigging.
Bait is not an issue; in fact there
is so much bait out there you
may not find a bird interested in
them. Not much else really to
speak of, Spinner Dolphin have
become sparse, so Football Tuna
are out. The Tres Marias Islands
are your only shot at getting any
sizeable Yellowfin Tuna. Now
you’re looking at 6 hours in one
direction to find these explosive
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FRIDAY 7
fishing grounds. So I suggest an
overnight trip at the very least,
to use your best option. Multiple
days are a better choice. If you are
at Corbeteña and you´re heading
to El Banco or vice versa, make
sure you don’t just get there as
fast as possible, keep an eye out
for buoys where there are Dorado
Bulls that will amaze you.
Inside the bay, the fishing is
weak at best. Needle Fish moving
in, they are the dominant species
at this moment in time. Jack
Crevalle have moved out mostly,
though you will still find some
in the colder currents. Sierra
Mackerel and some other minor
species are available. Bonito,
Skip Jack Tuna are at Yelapa.
For now I would not suggest any
trips under 8 hours. Tons of bait
everywhere, with no predators.
The Marieta Islands have
signs of life, but it’s not going
to impress the jaded. Skip Jack
Tuna, Bonito, smaller Dorado,
possible Rooster fish and a host of
others to choose from, other than
the longer distance locations, this
Fish Tales
is a good option. Plenty of bait
in the areas, mid-sized blue lures
with tiger prints will work as well.
But live bait is king, amigo. Not
many boats hitting these closer-in
areas, so you’ll have them pretty
much to yourself, a real luxury
if you ask me. Then again, as
the seasons change, these fickle
finned friends of ours can change
their mind in a second as love and
mating season is moving in. It
will blow your mind to hit a fish
in his head with a bait, only to
have him ignore it worse than my
ex ignores me! That’s brutal!
With tourism slowing to a halt,
fishing is wide open with fishing
companies begging for business.
Just remember, this is Mexico
and you need to make sure the
things you need are there. No
radio, safety equipment and if
they’re heading out at a slow
pace, then you have a pirate boat.
If there is no radio on the boat,
but the captain has a cell phone,
this is not acceptable.
What is this guy going to do,
call his mother-in-law to have the
Navy come find him?? If the boat
can’t afford a 100-dollar radio, it
will not be ¨all right¨. Especially
if you are taking family and they
get hurt or worse. Be smart, be
safe and don’t look only at price.
Know where you are going fishing
and only make token deposits.
Half down can mean you just got
screwed, especially if the price
is too good to be true, let alone
believable. If you can’t find the
guy at the meeting place in the
morning, which is more common
than you may think, greed got the
better of you. Be safe and don’t
let price interfere with safety!
There really wasn’t much
to report this week, we’re in a
dull period before things start
rocking again in mid-June. With
water temperatures all over the
place and strong, conflicting
currents, anything is possible.
Bait is moving in nicely and the
bay is just stuffed with bait fish.
SATURDAY 1
19
Not too many species seem to
be interested in what the bay is
offering for now. But the simple
fact is whatever conditions we
are having, it will be just a few
days before everything changes
again. So remember, fishing is a
risk sport, you risk your money
and time for the possible chance
of a lifetime to boat that bucket
list fish. If it was automatic,
it wouldn’t be called SPORT
fishing.
Until next time don’t forget to
kiss your fish and remember, at
Master Baiter’s Sportfishing
& Tackle “We Won’t Jerk You
Around!”
Master Baiter’s has changed
locations in Marina Vallarta.
We’re now near Victor’s Café
Tecuba. Look for me at the
least traveled end of Marina
Vallarta and I will be there
in my new place. Email your
questions to me at: CatchFish@
MasterBaiters.com.mx
Web
page:
www.MasterBaiters.
com.mx Local phone at: (044)
322 779-7571 or if roaming:
011 521 322 779-7571 (this is
my cell phone directly until the
shop phone is working Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/
Master-Baiters-SportfishingTackle/88817121325
The
trade name Master Baiter’s
® Sportfishing and Tackle is
protected under trade mark law
and is the sole property of Stan
Gabruk.
ISSUE 241 | JUNE - 2013
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20
Calendar
SATURDAY 1
ISSUE 241 | JUNE - 2013
FRIDAY 7
Hi-Tech
Do Macs need antivirus???
I
’ve had a lot of requests from Mac users that missed this article in
January, so I’m going to re-run it for them.
No one should be unprotected these days.
For most of the history of Apple and Mac computers, viruses and
malware were never a real threat. The biggest reason for this was that
Mac computers only accounted for less than 5% of the computers
being used in the world.
If you were a kid with a skill for writing computer code and wanted to
get famous for a spreading a worldwide virus, what would you target?
95% of the world’s computers (PCs) or 5% of the world’s computers
(Macs)? Obviously, you’d target the largest group - and that’s the way
it USED to be.
That has been Apple’s biggest protection against the world of
malware and viruses for over 25 years. Well, fast forward to 2012 and
many have taken up the challenge from Apple’s “Invincible Macs”.
2012 marked a huge spike in viruses and malware targeted especially
for Macs!!
It appears the powers-that-be at Apple have feared this for some time.
Starting with OSX Snow Leopard, Apple quietly included a malware
detection program built into the operating system! No fanfare, no
publicity, but you know there’s a growing problem if Apple is even
addressing it!
Since Snow Leopard, all Mac systems have their own builtin malware detection service, but it’s usually months behind the
databases provided by other security firms. OS X is a UNIX-based
system, so it’s very strict about file permissions and user accounts, but
malware doesn’t need an administrator account to steal your personal
information.
21
You don’t have to be “cruising the red light district” of the internet to
be at risk, either. Take the MacDefender problem in 2011 as an example.
MacDefender, along with variants MacSecurity and MacProtector,
were malware that tricked users by looking like it’s actually an antimalware app, and it usually shows up when a poisoned image or link
is clicked in an otherwise innocent list of search results.
Does that mean you’re likely to get infected with something today?
Not likely. Mac users could probably keep doing nothing for another
year before change is forced upon them, but there’s no reason to sit
back and wait for it. Whether its spyware, viruses or Trojans, there
are tools available. So, let’s take a look at a few of the best options
available today that can help protect your Mac.
2012 saw almost ALL major antivirus companies that have served
the PC world, come out with Mac versions of their protection software.
From Norton, to McAfee to Avast, all have a Mac flavor in their lineup now. Of the free options for Mac Malware protection, many experts
suggest Sophos. It’s one of the most trusted authorities on malware
and viruses in the industry, and their free offering for OS X is well
worth the download if you’re feeling insecure.
It’s extremely user-friendly and never tries to push you to “upgrade”
to a paid version. It comes with its own uninstaller (which is actually
rare) and it can scan networked drives (which is even rarer). While
you’re using your Mac, it constantly scans in the background for
viruses and known malware threats, along with any suspicious signs
of unknown malware threats.
It doesn’t put a noticeable dent on your system’s performance, and
Sophos is extremely quick to react to emerging threats (which means
you’ll always have up-to-date protection). Best of all, of course, is the
fact that it’s all free! www.sophos.com
Of the paid options for Macs, Norton Antivirus seems the most
comprehensive. It is designed to protect all of your valuable Mac
programs that contain your personal data, including iTunes, iMovie,
iPhoto and more. This Mac antivirus application shields your programs
and your data from viruses, worms, Trojan horses, rootkits and other
forms of malware. It also protects your computer from spyware, so
you can rest assured knowing that you don’t have another set of eyes
following all the tasks you perform on the computer.
In addition to protecting your Mac from viruses, worms and similar
threats, this application also provides antivirus protection while
browsing the web. This allows you to surf the internet safely and
destroy any threat that creeps onto your device.
This Mac antivirus software also offers protection for your email
and instant messaging by scanning any suspicious attachment on your
email or messaging system. Additionally, this security software offers
network monitoring. It also has the capability to detect Windows
viruses that may be attempting to attach themselves to your computer.
us.norton.com/macintosh-antivirus
That’s all my time for now. See you again next week.
Until then, remember… only safe Internet!
Ron can be found at CANMEX Computers. Sales, Repairs, Data
Recovery, Networking, Wi-Fi, Hardware upgrades, Graphic Design,
House-calls available. www.RonnieBravo.com, Cellular 044-322157-0688 or just email to Canmex@Gmail.com
SATURDAY 1
ISSUE 241 | JUNE - 2013
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22
Real Estate
by: HARRIET MURRAY
Cultural differences - Part II
Our
background, education,
personality, and culture contribute
to how we respond differently to
everyday issues.
We can treat time as a circle which
allows more chances to complete a
task. We choose to know a person
on a more personal level before we
give him our business. We want to
give our customer a personalized
accounting statement, even if it
means more mistakes in their
report.
We may expect the seller to pay
his capital gains tax rather than
ask us to do a low deed and pay
higher taxes later. The seller wants
to give the real estate agents a
net figure and let them choose an
asking price. Does it matter if three
different agents put three different
prices on the same property?
A. How do we organize and
process information?
Our cognitive thought is openminded or closed-minded. Open
mindedness uses abstract concepts
of information to work down to a
conclusion. Closed mindedness
uses associations or previous
experiences to “understand’’ a new
issue. The basic difference in our
cognitive thought can be the level
of education we have experienced.
Less education can result in more
rote thinking and less problem
solving ability.
B. What do we accept as
evidence?
Assuming that we are operating
for our own best interest, we use for
our benchmark of truth: faith, fact,
or feeling. Here we are dealing with
our belief in good and bad or right
SATURDAY 1
and wrong. A person who comes
from a place of feeling will respond
very differently to an answer which
is a cold hard fact.
1.
Our locus for making
decisions very much influences
what we believe our place or
position to be in our world: If we
are a dot with one circle around us,
we are individualistic. We are in a
sense the center of our universe.
If we are a dot with more circles
enlarging around us, we consider
ourselves part of a collective effort
or a part of a bigger entity. We are
influenced by what is good for the
group.
2.
How we reduce stress
has to do with what our source of
security and stability is:
a.
Interpersonal relationships
b. religion c. technology d. law.
What give us faith or comfort to
deal with the ups and downs of life?
We depend on the strength and
caring of our family and friends,
faith, science, or the rule of law.
C. How is Power Divided?
Equality and Inequality cover the
division of power. All countries
have disadvantaged people by
race, gender, economic status. The
most industrialized nations of the
world have a large stable middle
class. Many countries have a small
wealthy elite group and a large poor
disadvantaged one. If where we
are from is not where we are living
or working, we can experience
ISSUE 241 | JUNE - 2013
FRIDAY 7
stress adapting to the differences of
inequality.
This study of cultural orientation
and cultural differences has been
made by Terri, Morrison, Wayne A.
Conaway, and George A. Borden.
Their books are available for order
online.
This article is based upon legal
opinions, current practices and my
personal experiences. I recommend
that each potential buyer or seller
of real estate conduct his own due
diligence and review.
Harriet Murray can be contacted
at harriet@casasandvillas.com
Nature’s World
23
Planting Roots in Mexico
by TOMMY CLARKSON
Tomatoes (Part Two)
Family: Solanaceae
The word “tomato” was derived from “tomatl” – what it was
called in Nahuatl, the language of the Aztecs.
Mexican by origin.
So, indeed, it is
When the tomato was first introduced to Europe – inasmuch
as it bore a strong resemblance to them - it became associated
with poisonous members of the Solanceae family like
henbane, mandrake and deadly nightshade. (For some fun
history on this intriguing fruit, check out www.tomatoesareevil.
com/tomato%20history.html.)
Today, there are somewhere between 7,500 to 10,000 tomato
varieties. So if you want to grow one of each think in terms of
a very large garden!
They are normally quite easy to grow. That having been
said some basic care and attention is still required. But, with
placement in full sun they should mature in a little more than
two and less than three months.
Tomato plants have a large root system, so their ultimate
home should be no smaller than a five gallon pot. They prefer
loamy soil – that’s “dirt” composed of sand, silt, and clay in a
combination of roughly 40-40-20.
Sandy loam soil is best for tomatoes… but they’ll grow in
almost all types of soil except heavy clay.
SATURDAY 1
Though the plant is somewhat battered and beaten, yellow cherry
tomatoes seem to love this locale and my plant produces prolifically!
It should be fairly loose, well fertilized, with lots of organic
material and, absolutely well-draining. Like lots of our plant
pals, tomatoes don’t do well in dry soil. However, avoid
excessively wet, waterlogged soil as well. If you plant your
tomatoes by seed, they should germinate in seven days. But
there’s another way!
A rather easy method of tomato propagation material comes
via their “suckers” in the leaf nodes. (That’s where the leaf
meets the stems). They’re called suckers because they suck
nutrition from the main plant and it’s best to remove them so
your plant can perform to the maximum.
When the tomato suckers are approximately 4 to 6 inches
tall you can easily remove and root them creating another
tomato plant that will eventually bear more tomatoes. For a
continuous harvest, you should root suckers about every two
weeks.
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Nature’s World
It’s best to root these in small pots, then transplant to the
garden.
Simply remove a 3- to 6-inch tomato sucker by snapping
it off. They break off very easily. Then strip all by the top
two sets of leaves from the tomato cutting, and bury 2/3 of
the stem in sterile potting mix in a small pot. There is really
no need to use rooting hormone, as they root very easily.
While insects can be a problem, fungus tends to be the
biggest threat to home grown tomato plants and there’s a
whole list of wilts, spots and blights that can effectively
rain on your tomato plant parade.
Look for yellowing leaves, moldy blotches or dark spots.
Sometimes these problems are on the stems as well as the
leaves. The fungus spores can survive for years in the soil,
so if you’ve had a problem with your tomato plants in the
past don’t plant in the same area.
If you see any possible symptoms, pick off the leaves
immediately and spray the plants with fungicide. But once
it’s spread throughout your plant you probably can’t save it
so simply pull it out to keep the infection from spreading.
Aside from fungus problems, you still need to be on the
lookout for potato beetles and stink bugs that will chew
the leaves off. Hand-picking can help with a few of them
or spraying the plant with the appropriate insecticide will
repel these pests.
Now here’s a nifty nugget of gardening knowledge. The
center cardboard of toilet tissue rolls can be used as peat
pots. Because they are tall, they cause the tomato roots to
grow downward instead of outward, which is a good root
structure for the garden, as the roots will be deeper and not
need as much watering.
If you are planting from cuttings, for the first watering,
water the tomato cuttings with a solution of one teaspoon
Epsom salts to a quart of water. This encourages the
formation of roots. Those cuttings will wilt but don’t worry,
just keep them moist, and they will soon come around.
It will take these cuttings four to six weeks before they are
ready to be planted in the ground or you can transfer them to
larger pots and plant them outside later.
You can also take tip cuttings from leggy tomato plant limbs
but be sure to remove all blooms from the cuttings as they will
not root while trying to produce fruit.
Well, that’s a fast overview. Hopefully it will help you to
plant and enjoy some good “home grown tomatoes”! As to me,
tomorrow my pals Rowdy and Linda return from Gringolandia
and he’s bringing me some larger variety seeds so there will soon
be a new chapter in my tomato scrapbook!
I also seem to have fairly good luck with some Romas - seeds, like
the yellow cherries, given to me by neighbors Andy and Laurie.
SATURDAY 1
In Manzanillo, visit Ola Brisa Gardens, Tommy and Patty’s
verdant, multi-terraced tropical paradise nestled on a hill
overlooking the magnificent vista of Santiago Bay. Leisurely
meander its curved, paved path, experiencing, first hand, a
delicious array of palms, plants and flowers from all over the
world. Or, e-mail questions to him at olabrisa@gmail.com
ISSUE 241 | JUNE - 2013
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Nature’s World
SATURDAY 1
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