Dog Corny Jokes - Have Fun Be Happy Enjoy Life

Original Dog Corny Jokes
and Humor
Written by Susan Sherbert
May all your “Ruff” times
be shared with your best friend
Fun Facts and Trivia
I read that 65% of all statistics are made up
The U.S. recognizes 161 breeds of dog
Internationally there are over 400 breeds
Greyhounds can run up to 45 miles an hour
Dogs are thought to have the intelligence of a
2-3 year old toddler.
Dogs have about 100 different facial expressions,
most of them involve their ears.
The first dog registered with the American kennel
Club was an English setter names Adonis. The
year was 1884.
Basenjis are a barkless breed, but they do yodel
or howl.
Dogs are not color blind. They can tell the difference between blue, yellow, and grey.
How can you tell when a dog is lying?
By the length of the TALE
What kind of pet did the husband give his
nagging wife?
A HOUND dog
What do you give a dog for a cold?
A chew (achew)
What did the carpet cleaner name his new
puppy?
Spot
What breed of dogs can’t resist a milk
shake?
A MALT-ese (maltese)
Why did the dog think the tree needed a
vet?
Because it didn’t have any BARK
What do rich dogs have on the walls of
their dog houses?
PAW prints
What is this?
A CHILI-dog
What’s the worst thing about a new dog?
The pup PEE
What do you get when your dog eats your
alarm clock?
A WATCH dog
How did the family finally manage to get
rid of their flea problem?
They got TICKED off
What does a dog want to see under the
tree at Christmas?
A Chew Chew train
What kind of dogs do track coaches
prefer?
LAP dogs
Why did the boy name his golden retriever
Doctor?
Because it never went anywhere without its
LABcoat
DOGS
Humor Written by Susan Sherbert
Dogs are truly amazing creatures. Well I don’t mean
creatures, because creatures kind of implies something creepy and dogs are nothing but pure joy. Okay,
when they are puppies they chew and pee, but so do
kids. Yet dogs are part of the family so you love them
anyway and start to train them to behave like proper
little human beings, except they are dogs. You can
tell by the fur.
Aside from a few minor differences that aren’t their
fault, dogs are a lot like kids. They both are demanding and want your undivided attention. And although
dogs can’t talk, they sure know how to push your
buttons so they get what they want. Luckily their ir-
resistible charm mostly applies to obtaining food. I
couldn’t imagine the financial impact if dogs could
use electronics and started begging for high tech
gadgets. We’d all be in trouble then, because who
can resist those puppy dog eyes.
Yeah, dogs are charmers all right, and they are certainly members of the family, but some people just
don’t understand this. People like health inspectors.
I’m not totally sure why dogs aren’t allowed in places
that serve food, except maybe for the flea thing, but
I’ve see dogs that are far better trained than some of
those kids they allow in restaurants these days. And
even if you did have a dog that decided to wander to
the next table, all you have to do is pull on the leash
and the problem is solved. And I’d have a dog’s bark
over a high pitched tantrum any day.
But I suppose, until you can train a dog to eat with
a knife and fork, then they just won’t be allowed in
restaurants. And maybe that is kind of a good thing.
Why? Because if dogs were allowed in restaurants,
that would mean they would be eating restaurant food.
And no human being, even a child, can come anywhere
close to that special trait reserved exclusively for the
canine species. Dogs are totally awesome creatures,
but why did they have to come with dog farts!
About Susan Sherbert
Published Author - Grown-ups Don’t Skip Have FUN Be
Happy Enjoy Life is a motivational book that inspires adults
to have more fun. It is full of humorous stories and lessons
that help grown-ups bring back creativity and dreams.
Silver Award winning humor columnist - Written over 100
issues of Simply Amusing a newsletter of absolutely no
importance, was a regular humor columnist for several
magazines.
She also self published a humorous book about short
sheeting a bed. A national linen chain used the book, as
a free gift with purchase two years in a row. Over 4,000
copies were sold.
Susan has also written over 50 corny joke books, and six
humor book. She is a business owner & an avid golfer.
Grown-ups Don’t Skip Have FUN Be Happy Enjoy Life
contains the necessary tools to change your thinking,
encourage new habits, and bring back imagination and
creativity. From this book you will learn to see the
possibilities, overcome the obstacles and discover the
giggles that will lead to your dreams.
Let Susan Sherbert be your guide on a journey back to your
imagination and beyond!
Available on Amazon
Paperback & Digital format
More fun and humor at
FunHappyEnjoy.com
Including
Susan's Blog
and
Original Corny Joke Books
"What is the fastest way to become a vegetarian?
Answer: Quit Cold Turkey!