Issue9 - John Abbott College

Bandersnatch
Snorting while laughing since 1971
Volume 35, Issue 9 • Wednesday February 8th, 2006
In this Issue...
Police patrols increase in response
to recent tragedy
Nicola Fleming
NewsEditor
Sus4 Life
Pages 9-12
4 Pages of Sus4 Life goodness
Henderson Hall
Page 4
For many years, cats have lived inside the front steps of the Hertzberg
building. Several years ago, JAC teacher
Doris Miller began feeding these cats.
Money was raised by students, as well
as personal donations from the from
the staff and faculty, to spay the female
cats, as the John Abbott Community
accepted responsibility for the welfare
of the cats living on campus.
Defrosting Fashion
Page 5
It would seem that winter is synonymous with the world of fashion.
Practicality is far from chic, and the
majority of clothes being shelled
out by designers are more suited
to the girls from the OC than to
the weather-beaten bodies of we
Montrealers.
Dead Like Me
Page 13
Life sucks, even when it’s cut tragically short by a flaming toilet seat falling from space. That, unfortunately, is
the situation of 18 year old Georgia,
or “George”, Lass (Ellen Muth) in
the dark MGM production Dead Like
Me.
Canada’s Year
Page 19
2006 is of course, a winter Olympic
year, and Canada will attempt to do better than in 2002 in Salt Lake City, with 7
gold medals, 3 silver medals, and 7 bronze
ones. This year, in Turin, Canada is expected to transcend that total.
Tragedy struck Beaconsfield two weeks
ago when a mother of two young children
was killed when she was hit by a car on
Beaconsfield Boulevard. Erica Cadieux, 34,
was out for a walk with her 18-month-old
daughter and was knocked when a driver
fell asleep at the wheel. His car jumped the
curb and struck her and the stroller, sending
them flying ten meters into a nearby driveway.
Although the driver was reportedly not going
above the posted speed limit of 50 km/h,
Cadieux’s injuries were severe. She died
in hospital the day after the accident. Her
daughter was unharmed.
This heartbreaking accident has
raised questions as to the safety of the boulevard. Many residents are responding with
complaints that there are far too many people
breaking the speed limit in the area. The
curve in the road only adds to the danger.
One man who asked the press not to release
his name voiced his feelings that the buses in
particular are driven far too quickly, especially
when it comes to bends in the road.
In response to the public outcry, Station 1’s police commander, Michel
Lecompte, increased
patrols in the area.
During the morning
of February 2 nd, 49
motorists were ticketed for speeding.
Mayor Bob Benedetti
stated that they want
to have the speeding
under control within
two months. He announced that the traffic committee from
old Beaconsfield is
to be reformed, also
stating that plans to reinstate this committee
had been in motion
before the accident.
“Speeding is a serious
problem everywhere
in Beaconsfield,” he said, “on little and main
streets - they even speed on my street, which
is a dead end.”
Cadieux’s funeral was held on
February 4 th at St. Joachim Church in
Pointe Claire. The pews
were packed tightly with
mourners who wanted
to pay their last respects
to the young mother.
She was described as a
wonderful mother who
always wanted to do the
right thing for her two
daughters. Her death
came as a painful shock
to her husband, family,
and friends.
As the driver responsible for the accident
was completely sober and
not speeding, she will not
be charged. Residents
can only hope that this
awful event will serve as
a wakeup call to speeding
drivers, and that, from now on, they’ll think
twice…and slow down.
Mohammed cartoon triggers
Muslim riots
Girl Stabbed at
Gas Station
Emilie Bruneau
Office Manager
Jessica Kalmar
Assistant Editor-in-Chief
The Muslim world is enraged with cartoons printed in the European press. The
aggrieved believers protested these twelve
caricatures, one of which depicts the prophet
Mohammed wearing a turban shaped like
a bomb with a burning fuse. Not only are
the drawings offensive
in nature, but many
Muslims believe any depiction of Mohammed
is blasphemous.
The cartoons were
first published in the
September issue of a
small Danish newspaper, as an experiment on free speech.
Although there was
only minimal controversy after this printing, there was a ban on
Danish food exports to
certain countries in the
Middle East. Last week, the caricatures were
reprinted in several European publications.
In response to this, thousands of demonstrators protested outside of the Danish and
Norwegian embassies in Damascus, Syria. At
first the protesters gathered calmly outside
of the Danish embassy. Before long, the
peaceful demonstration took a turn for the
worse when demonstrators began throwing
stones, shattering the windows and eventually setting the embassy on fire. Although the
building was badly damaged, it is believed
to have been empty at the time of the riot.
Some demonstrators burned the Danish
flag and replaced
it with a green flag
that read: “There is
no god but God, and
Mohammed is the
messenger of God.”
The Norwegian embassy was also set
ablaze, but the fire
was controlled by
firefighters at the
scene.
A n d e r s Fo g h
Rasmussen, the
prime minister of
Denmark, is apologetic of the riots the
caricatures caused,
but he remains adamant that the independent press is beyond
his control.
To sum it up, the printings have only
succeeded in digressing the Europe-Middle
Eastern relationships.
In a tragic incident, 17-year-old Brigitte
Serre was stabbed to death during her
first night shift at a Shell gas station in St.
Leonard on January 25th.
Employees in service stations are not
allowed to let in customers during the night
shift; if clients want to buy something,
they have to place their money in the night
drawer while the cashier passes the item.
Serre was stabbed multiple times, and
money and merchandise were missing
from the store when the police arrived at
6:15 a.m. after a client saw the overturned
cash drawer.
Police began looking for four
suspects: ex-employee Sebastien Simon,
and material witnesses Joel Nantais, Tommy
Gagne, and Sergio Moniz after receiving a
tip from a customer who said that he was
served in the middle of the night by two
men. Simon was arrested in Edmonton
last week, and both Gagne and Nantais
were found in Montreal. Moniz pleaded
innocence but was arrested downtown
nonetheless.
Serre’s funeral was held on January
30th and attended by 500 people who wished
to pay their respects. The funeral was closed
to media at the request of her bereaved
family.
February 8th, 2006 • News and Events
By Nicki
L a s t I s s u e, Ju d l e y G e l s we a t h e r
wrote an article, in the Entertainment
section, about Sus4 Life, a web comic
that can be seen at http://www.sus4life.
ca.tt./, or in the comics section of this
very paper. Since it’s introduction in
Bandersnatch (Volume 35, Issue 4), sus4
life, by Bandersnatch’s Comics Editor,
Ashley Fairweather, has become a major
attraction for this paper, and has been
widely read, and appreciated by many
students here at John Abbott College.
So this issue, there is a Sus4 life insert,
starting on page nine, with the next ten
sus4 life comics, as well as it being in
the comics section, on page eight.
I would also like to announce that
we have a new Campus Life Editor,
Graham Kallio. Graham was originally
the Games Edtior, last year, where he
wrote some great stuff, like an article on
rock ‘em sock ‘em robots. He was also
instrumental in updating Bandersnatch’s
constitution. The Campus Life section
starts on page four.
I have a lot of respect for the student
union of John Abbott College. I believe
that such an organization should be
in place in order to protect the rights
of the students. I like the fact that the
John Abbott College Administration
has been so willing to work so closely
with SUJAC, and without it, this paper
may not exist. What I don’t understand
is why members of the student union,
even some of their executives, see it
necessar y to mock Bandersnatch, a
student organization which could potentially have as much influence over the
student body, if not more. While their
congress was voting on weather or not
they should vote on something, we were
producing newspapers. I understand
that working for the Student Union
takes a considerable amount of time,
but having said that, they, most of all,
should understand the amount of time
and work is put
into this paper. I appreciate the amount
of support,
that former
President Julia
Garland, and
former VP
External Alexandre Sigouin has shown,
and I have a great deal of respect for the
new President, Olivier Robichaud. Their
display of leadership is truly inspiring,
and I hope that the Student Union will
follow their example.
• February 8th, 2006
know more about grade reviews, just drop by
the SUJAC office in Penfield 101. SUJAC’s
Vice-President Academic, Dave Wood, is
more than competent in defending the rights
of the students here in the College.
Speaking of grade reviews, it has come
to our attention that our system is part of
the contract negotiated by the FNEEQ, with
which the teacher’s union is affiliated. We
are therefore in the process of enlarging our
campaign to include all CEGEPs affiliated
with the FNEEQ.
On Monday, Congress elected a new student representative to the Academic Council:
Philip Wiese, as well as three replacements:
Collin Potter-Bonar, Jaclyn Lanthier and
Olivier Robichaud. We also filled several
seats with student reps for different John
Abbott Committees.
As for what’s coming up, the SUJAC
Open House will be starting on Valentine’s
Day, Tuesday, February 14. There will be
balloons and such being sold, and there will
be mock-wedding ceremonies for donations
in the SUJAC Office in Penfield 101, so drop
by and get married while sipping a free Fair
Trade coffee. The Open House takes place
until Thursday, Feb. 16.
The Executives will also be meeting
with Director General Keith Henderson on
February 21 in order to clear up a few issues.
Of course, we’ll be keeping you guys posted
on anything that happens there.
That’s pretty much it. As for the rest,
it’s same shit, different day. We’ll see ya’ll
next time.
John Abbott College
P.O. Box 2000
Sainte-Anne-de-Bellevue,
Quebec, Canada H9X 3L9
Phone: (514) 457-6610 ext 5389
Fax: (514) 457-6091
Office: H-041
bandersnatch@johnabbott.qc.ca
Editor-in-Chief
Robert Briza
Assistant Editor-in-Chief
Jessica Kalmar
News Editor
Nicki Fleming
Campus Life Editor
Graham Kallio
Comics Editor
Ashley Fairweather
Entertainment Editor
Judy Gelsthorpe
Arts Editor
Christina Bucci
Opinion Editor
Lauren Rodriguez
SUJAC Update
True to our commitment, SUJAC has
been a bee’s nest these past few weeks. First
of all, I’d like to underline the relative success
of our PR campaign. We were successful
in filling the open seats in Congress, but
only the Pre-university section. Still, that
makes a lot more people that we can send
to the different John Abbott Committees in
order to make sure that student interests are
included in the decision-making. Students in
Professional programs do still have a voice.
Although nominations are closed, if you
are interested in what happens in the Student
Union, you can always come to a Congress
meeting. These happen on Mondays at 5:30
in Penfield 166. These meetings are completely open and you have the right to speak
just like anybody else.
As for SUJAC-Club Day, it was a success. Your SUJAC reps were on hand,
CSKY played live, and many Clubs and
student organizations had very interesting,
interactive booths in the Olympic theme
that proved popular. Thanks to everyone
who participated.
SUJAC will soon be launching a new
campaign so that everyone can know your
rights as a student. For example, did you
know that you have the right to submit a
grievance against a teacher? If you believe
that a teacher has done you wrong, you
can consult with us and submit a grievance
to the Dean. And the entire process is
confidential.
Also, if you are not happy with your
grade, you can have it reviewed by a committee. If this is your case or if you want to
BANDERSNATCH
Games Page Editor
Blayne Bradley
Justin Banks
Sports Editor
Joanna Lozowik
Production Manager
Eric Chan
Office Manager
Emilie Bruneau
Webmaster
Jennifer Byrnes
Rob Says:
Don’t throw
toonies at
strippers...
It hurts.
Bandersnatch is the student-run Alternative Press at
John Abbott College. It is published every two weeks and
is partially funded by the Student Activities Commitee
and by advertising solicited members. Submissions
are welcome in either English or French and become
property of Bandersnatch. Submissions must be sent
via E-mail to bandersnatch@johnabbott.qc.ca and
must be in Plain Text format (.txt) or Microsoft Word
Document format (.doc). All submissions must include
the full name and telephone number of the contributor,
as well as the e-mail address if applicable. Bandersnatch
reserves the right to reject submissions or to edit any
submissions for length, legality, or clarity. Submissions
should be a maximum of 500 words but may be printed
if they worthwhile. Spelling and grammar will not be
corrected on submissions as it is the responsibility of
the contributor to correct them. Submissions should be
dropped off at the Bandersnatch office, located in the
basement of Herzberg, room H-041 (across from the
hallway entrance of The Oval).
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Henderson Hall
Robert J. Briza
Editor-in-Chief
For many years, cats have lived inside
the front steps of the Hertzberg building.
Several years ago, JAC teacher Doris Miller
began feeding these cats. Money was
raised by students, as well as personal donations from the from the staff and faculty,
to spay the female cats, as the John Abbott
Community accepted responsibility for the
welfare of the cats living on campus.
Originally, JAC had twelve cats living
on the campus, but because the females
had been spayed, the cats could not reproduce. Only four cats remain, as the cats
have died off naturally. “The John Abbott
Cats are feral cats.” Explained Miller,
“They were born wild to wild mothers, and
think of humans as predators.” Another
threat to the cats is off leash dogs. Two
cats were killed in the 2004-2005 school
year, by off leash dogs.
The cats had lived under the Hertzberg
stairs, right up until last summer, when the
stairs were demolished, and rebuilt. Before
this could take place, Miller was asked by
the school, to lure the cats out from under
the stairs, so they would not be harmed
by the work being done on the building,
but without shelter, the cats would not
survive the winter. The cats also needed
a shelter, to escape off leash dogs. The
stairs were sealed off, to keep the cats from
re-entering. A shelter was built, outside of
the Hertzberg building, at the approval
of Director
General,
K e i t h
Henderson,
“We are responsible
for them,
they are
our campus
cats.” T he
shelter, jokingly called
“Henderson
Hall” cost
approximately $800
to build.
According to
Henderson,
the College
has a budget
of $45-50
Million, so
the cost of
the shelter
was negligible. Henderson and Miller both believe
that the construction of this shelter was
a lesion, in morality, which the students
should learn.
The cat shelter is not to be approached,
Arts and Culture Magazine
Eric Padan
Contributor
After more than two decade of
r u n n i n g L o c u s, t h e Jo h n A b b o t t
College arts and culture magazine,
founder Endre Farkas is passing on
the torch. Hear tily taking up the
cause, are young English teachers
Naz Arabaghian and Sarah Venart.
Arabaghian, a former Abbott student,
worked under Farkas on Locus for
several issues as a student, and has
taken a major role as Farkas’ successor during the production of recent
issues. Venart has also established
herself as a key player in the Abbott
literary scene. She is currently teaching
Creative Writing to both Creative and
Liberal Arts students.
Naz and Sarah are hardly alone.
Though several Locus veterans have
done the unthinkable and graduated,
the student editing staff is far from depleted. The current staff boasts both
old and new faces, including, for the
first time in recent memory, an editor
devoted entirely to visual arts.
“We want students to feel Locus is
accessible to them,” Locus editor and
second semester Liberal Arts student
Amanda Shuber t explains. “Locus
• February 8th, 2006
is a creative project representative of
the entire student body, and its poetry,
short stories and visual art cater to its
student readership. Contributors in past
semesters have not only demonstrated
admirable skill but have revealed a passion for the nebulous, ineffable world
that lies beneath the surface of words
and images and days. This passion is
what keeps Locus relevant and makes
it exciting to read.”
Amanda indicates that the Locus
committee would like to see a greater
diversity to submissions this semester:
“John Abbott is a bilingual environment
and we encourage submissions in both
French and English.”
L o c u s h a s s o m e m a j o r ch a n g e s
underway. There are plans to release
the magazine earlier this year, in an attempt to reach students before the exam
crunch. There is also a growing movement to shorten the gap between the
contributors and the editors. With its
ambitious new team, the Locus editors
hope to make this the best Locus yet.
Locus will be taking submissions
until March 10th. All submissions are
welcome. Contributors are asked to
leave a typed copy in the Locus box in
P-103, along with a diskette, an e-mail
address and name.
because the cats are afraid of humans, and
will be scared away from the shelter. Even
when the cats are not near the shelter, they
will later be able to detect the presence of
humans, who approached the shelter.
What needs to be understood is that
John Abbott College is not a rescue organization, and cats should not be left on
the campus, because JAC is not equipped
to rescue abandoned cats. Cats that are
abandoned will face cold winter and starvation, leading to a slow and painful death.
A common misconception is that cats are
good hunters. This is
not so. Even the ones
that are, would not be
able to hunt during
the winter. On average, cats would need
to eat about four to
nine small rodents
each day, which would
require a large, small
rodent population.
Small rodents living
on property would be
trapped or poisoned,
which greatly limits
the amout of mice to
be found on campus,
and source of food
for abandoned cats.
Feral cats, such as the
ones on the JAC campus, are territorial,
and will not accept
new cats into their
territory.
If you are unable
to take care of your pets, please do not
simply abandon them. The SPCA de
Montreal can be reached at (514) 7352711, or visit their website at h����������
ttp://www.
spcamontreal.com�/
Join Bander
Bandersnatch Campus Life
Defrosting Fashion
A John Abbott guide to staying stylish in winter.
Katie Nation
Staff Writer
Winter and I just don’t get along.
We fought it out in high school when
the weather refused to acknowledge
the emphatically light weight of my
school uniform and forced the cruelest of temperatures onto my poor and
unshielded body. I was ready to fight
back when I started at John Abbott in
2004, preparing to stock up on thick
sweatpants and wool sweaters, but I was
struck unexpectedly with a force more
powerful than I could sustain: a sudden
and unyielding love for fashion.
It would seem that winter is antonymous with the world of fashion.
Practicality is far from chic, and the
majority of clothes being shelled out
by designers are more suited to the girls
from the OC than to the weather-beaten
bodies of we Montrealers. Thanks to
Bandersnatch Campus Life
our decidedly unsympathetic climate,
we more often than not find ourselves
repeating the basic ensemble of jeans,
fr umpy sweatshirt, and hat-hair, out
of duty instead of desire. Despite our
longing to experiment with fashion and
evolve our look throughout the season,
we find ourselves regretfully putting our
style into hibernation.
But is this dormancy of style really
a necessity? This fall/winter season I
made it my personal mission to fight
back at the powers of winter… without
actually sacrificing any of my fashion integrity. I reviewed the fashion shows and
tested my findings, braving the January
cold in outfits I could never have
imagined myself spor ting this
time of year, and I was surprised
at how little it takes to stay toasty
when you really put your mind to
it. In following a few of my own
simple tips, I still have yet to wear
the jeans-and-sweatshirt ensemble
out of the house.
1. Layering is the new not-layering. Okay, I’ll admit, this is not the
newest tip I could issue. With the
overwhelming popularity of Boho
came a layering frenzy which, at
this point, should technically be
dying out. But this being winter,
we’re still in need of as much
clothing as possible, and as such
won’t be tossing out our layers until spring. This being said, go absolutely crazy. It’s
one thing to
layer a sweater
over a t-shirt,
b ut why sto p
there? Long
tank-tops ar e
extremely accessible and fit
under t-shir ts
without making you look
like an Islander
defensive tackle. Stock up on
these and wear
a few under
your t-shirt if
need be, and if
you’re worried
about the $10plus charge,
you can always
find them in
the men’s department at department stores
as undershirts’.
They’re surprisingly
cheap and often better quality than the
kind you buy at the
mall. Keeping in the
men’s depar tment,
vests, waistcoat style
or sweater-vests,
have made a huge
comeback in recent months and
are even star ting to pop up
at Fair view. The
vest-andblazer look
is a little
cliché, but
under a
half-buttoned knit
sweater or
summerw e i g h t
j a cke t i t ’s
not hard
to pull of
the look
in school.
With a
couple of layers
underneath, you
can even just wear
it on its own.
2. Do n’t b e
afraid of tights.
The first day of
school it seems
a s t h o u g h e ve r yone’s wearing
their cutest new
skirt, but come winter semester, skirts
of any kind have all but disappeared. If
you really want to mix up your winter
look, try out your summer skirts and
dresses with winter layers on top. You
obviously don’t want to expose your
legs to February’s wrath, but you’d be
surprised at how much of a difference
a pair of tights can make. Whether slim
and cropped at the ankle or thick and
patterned, tights can add a whole new
look to your outfit and can be switched
up according to the temperature. Paired
with a denim mini it’s a classic choice,
but if you really want to look avantgarde try throwing a cropped pair under
rolled-up jeans, or play with various
colours under summer’s long and flowy
skirts (stick to the knee-length in this
case).
3. Wear hats in school. One of the
worst parts of winter is having to take
off your hat when you get to school and
getting stuck with hat-hair all day. The
best way to avoid this is to ditch the
hat for a hood, but if you really want to
have fun, experiment with trendy hats
and keep them on all day. The tuque
will probably keep you warmest, but it
is probably one of the least exciting hats
in circulation today. Otherwise, you can
play around with fedoras, castro hats,
pageboy caps, or even a raspberry beret (the kind you find at a second hand
store). Cowboy hats hit it so big last
summer it’ll probably be a while until
they’re back in style, but otherwise try
to keep your head warm, since a large
portion of body heat escapes through
the head.
4. Wear a scarf. Again, keep your
scarf on in school over a t-shirt or even
a tank top and you’ll be amazed at how
warm you are.
I know that a couple of my tips may
seem a little redundant (see: wear a hat,
wear a scarf), but it’s amazing how many
people see staying warm as unfashionable. When it comes down to it, being
sick is undeniably unattractive and
staying warm is the best way to avoid
so. Staying warm may be beneficial, but
that doesn’t mean that you have to dress
badly to do so.
February 8th, 2006 • it’s been a long day
Christina Bucci - Arts Editor
he’s got one hand
behind his head
the other on her lap
she hums a quiet tune
unheard of by the world
and yet
somewhat familiar
to the boy down the street
and the milkman
but she doesn’t know
the rain is drip-dripping
on the roof
puddles overflowing
it’s the end of the day
they’re tired
and want to rest
but the rain is drip-dripping
and the world cannot understand
the tune that she sings
Girl in Plaid
she hums a quiet tune
unheard of by the world
and yet
somewhat familiar
and yet
somewhat familiar
Christina Bucci - Arts Editor
Sea Nymph
Outside the Box
Writing on the walls,
The chairs are on the ceiling,
I’m losing my balance,
Point me in the right direction,
The future is the past,
The past never happened
And life is all a dream.
I fall,
I fall,
I fall
Barbara Radziwon - Contributor
Christina Bucci - Arts Editor
But never land.
The flowers are dead
But the grass is greener
And life could have been sweeter
Had the sugar not run out.
But it’s gone, vanished,
Stolen by the cat in the
Red Jacket.
Run away, kitty, run away.
Edmonton 031
Barbara Radziwon - Contributor
Naivety
Daphney Di Giovanni
Through the frantic circus
The ending was all too predictable
Of colorful wires and bright lights
As the sirens of justice
The predator and the prey met
Came to collect her cold lifeless body
One was swimming in joy
Massacred, covered in bruises and gashes
Thinking that he held the key to her heart
Her heart ripped out
Unknowing of the path lay before her
Far away the eyes of evil smiles
The other anxiously exited
Another trophy to add to his collection
Thirsty for more blood and pain
“Until the next time” was all he said
Counting the time to his relief
Disappearing to meet his following victim
• Wednesday February 8th, 2006
Harajuku Sunday
Christina Bucci - Arts Editor
Bandersnatch Arts
Eri- Chan Around the World
Christina Bucci - Arts Editor
Diamonds
Isolation
Matthew O’Shaughnessy - Contributor
Erica Duffy - Contributor
Help me:
I’m drowning in misery,
Unhappy to be
In my personal penitentiary.
Stop me:
I’m falling into history.
Catch me:
The thoughts come hourly.
Rain hits the roses,
Dark clouds fill the sky,
The sweet boy now dozes,
Soaking wet, I give a sigh.
The rain turns to color,
A beauty I won’t deny,
A divine little favor,
Rainbow diamonds in the sky.
It’s a hopeless dream:
Not quite where it ought to be.
Soon it’ll be steam:
The proof of reality saving me.
The sweet face beside me,
The greatest thing to my eye,
He twitches discretely,
Dreaming of he and I.
Visit me:
I’m lonely in my cell.
Hold me:
I will not bite:
That I can tell.
Touch me:
I need to know it’s not a dream
For which I fell.
Speak to me:
The words will guide me
From my personal Hell.
His innocence yawns gently,
Whisper’s a soft loving ‘hi’,
We sit and watch idly,
Rainbow diamonds in the sky.
Twilights pass freely,
Eternity drifts by,
We won’t age willingly,
As the roses wilt and die.
Alice Cooper
The colors have dissappeared,
There’s only black, white and I,
He’s gone, just as I feared,
I miss the rainbow diamonds in the sky.
Folded Beauty
Bandersnatch Arts
Barbara Radziwon - Contributor
Erin Murphy - Contributor
No one get out of here alive
Even if survival is for which they strive.
These are my words
Forget me not.
Teach them to herds
Forget them not.
Jesse and his Joe
Erin Murphy - Contributor
Wednesday February 8th, 2006 • • February 8th, 2006
Bandersnatch Comics
CHARACTERS/VILLAINS
Name: Dill
Age: 21
Position: Sus4 Life Rhythm Guitarist
Music Taste: All-Around Rock (Anything
Rock)
Bio: Dill is that kind of person who means
well, but he can’t really seem to be able to
get around to actually being nice. He tries
though. He works with Richard in a music
shop and when he’s not guitaring it up, he
likes video games.
Name: Raven, the Sorceress of
Moldovia
Age: 21
Position: Sus4 Life Bassist
Music Taste: Gothic/Black Metal
Bio: Raven, the only female member of
the Sus4 Life band, is different. Her gothic
style is
entrancing and she can float. What else
does a band need when they’ve got a crazy
gothic girl who can float?
Name: Richard
Age: 22
Position: Sus4 Life Drummer
Music Taste: Power/Progressive Metal
Bio: He can be a bit slow at times, but he’s
a drummer. What’d ya expect? He works
with Dill in the music shop, and when he’s
not doing that, he likes to eat.... Did we
mention he’s a drummer?
Name: (To be revealed)
Age: 17
Position: So far, just an emo kid
Music Taste: Emo
Bio: He is the random emo kid who
popped up in the music store Richard and
Dill work for. Why is he a villain? You’ll
see later. So far he’s just a strange, young,
emo kid.
Name: Amanda
Age: 21
Position: Web Designer
Music Taste: All-Around Metal (Anything
Metal)
Bio: Was called on by the band to help
them advertise on THE INTERNET for
a new bassist and singer. This, however,
only occured after they got over the fact
that she was not really a mutant freak, but
rather just short.
Name: H.B. the Headbanging Turtle
Age: --Position: Fuzzy turtle
Music Taste: Anything to headbang to
Bio: A turtle who likes to headbang.
[Seen in Comic #20]
Name: Dustin
Age: 20
Position: Sus4 Life Lead Guitarist
Music Taste: Blues Rock
Bio: Dustin is the sort of person that
would be accident prone, if the “accidents”
weren’t deliberate stunts gone wrong.
Unfortunately he’s also one of the more
mature embers of the band (despite what
the bunny slippers may show). Dustin’s
main obsession is his guitar. He doesn’t
actually have a job, but rather does random
things for whomever is willing to pay him.
Name: ???
Age: ???
Position: ???
Music Taste: ???
Bio: WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP!!!!!
[Seen in Comic #12]
The Comic
Sus4 Life: pronounced “Suspended Four Life”. Sus4 is the name used for
specific chords in music. Since the webcomic is based off of music, this title
is fitting.
The webcomic, Sus4 Life, based off of a local band trying to make it big
in the music business. To start things off, they lost their bass player and vocalist. Throughout the first volume, the band members go on an epic adventure
trying to find replacements for their dear band members who moved away.
The local band’s name is Sus4 Life.
This series of comics was created to represent different music styles
throughout different characters. If you have not already noticed, the whole
website is divided by music styles! We, on staff, believe music is essential and
are incredibly inspired by it. Most popular webcomics out there on the Internet
are about videogames and/or gamers (e.g. CTRL-ALT-DEL, VGCats, etc.) or
about randomness (e.g. White Ninja Comics, Men In Hats, etc.) Since music is
so influential, we decided to create a new type of webcomic. Of course, along
with music influence, there is also humor...because we like humor.
Bandersnatch Comics
February 8th, 2006 • 10 • February 8th, 2006
Bandersnatch Comics
Bandersnatch Comics
February 8th, 2006 • 11
12 • February 8th, 2006
Bandersnatch Comics
Dead Like Me
Judy Gelsthorpe
Entertainment Editor
Life sucks, even when it’s cut tragically short by a flaming
toilet seat falling from
space. T hat, unfor tunately, is the situation
of 18 year old Georgia,
or “George”, Lass (Ellen
Muth) in the dark MGM
production Dead Like
Me.
Freshly scraped off
the pavement, George
learns the ropes of being a reaper. Needless to
say, the finer points take
some getting used to,
especially when coupled
with the fact that she
can’t contact her family.
She quickly grows accustomed to her new boss
Rube (Mandy Patinkin)
and her co-reapers Roxy
(Jasmine Guy), Mason
(Callum Blue), Daisy (Laura Harris) and
Betty (Rebecca Gayheart).
Forced to pick up a part time job
at the temp agency “Happy Time” to
keep up with the costs of living, George
experiences first hand the difficulty of
working two jobs, especially when for one
of those jobs
you receive
your hours on
a post it note
m a r ke d w i t h
a name, address and ETD
(Estimated
Time
of
Death). One
of the funniest
th i n gs a b o ut
the show is
the ... shall we
say, interesting... causes of
death that the
writers managed to come
up with. My
personal favorite involves
a banana peel,
a cool guy with blue hair, a revolving
door, and a sickening crunch.
ACTIVITY DESCRIPTIONS
1)
COMEDIAN GILSON LUBIN: kicks off Carnival with a hilarious set designed for Black
History Month and for Carnival. See him on the big stage at 11:30 on Monday February 13
2)
SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE COMPETITION: Do you think you have what
it takes to compete head to head in our Dance Competition. We choose the music. You must dance for
one minute. The audience decides if you move on to the next round. Come on, show us what you got.
$75.00 Cash prize to the winner!
3)
Hypnotist “The Incredible Boris”: Have you ever been hypnotized? Do
you want to? Do you think your friend would be a good candidate? Then join us as Hypnotist “The
Bandersnatch Entertainment
This show is riddled with insight and
deep plot, but it also offers a simple kind
of humor that makes it very easy to watch.
With fast acting lines such as “you’re an
ornery bitch that eats puppy dogs for
breakfast” it’s simple to see why even
if you aren’t in the
mood to consider
the intense themes
i nvo l ve d yo u c a n
still enjoy watching
just for the lighthear ted nature of
the show.
T he characters
are all exceptionally
well played. My personal favorite Mason
(the British heartthrob that’s always
got his hand stuck
in something illegal)
is basically the irresponsible one of the
group. Callum Blue
plays him masterfully, from his care-free
demeanor to his deep-rooted insecurities
to his serious dependences. With his next
big screw-up just around the corner he
still stubbornly refuses to admit that he is
by any and all means a “f*ck up”. Other
accomplishments of his include being
in the Princess Diaries 2, and numerous
other television
appearances.
The first and
second seasons
of Dead Like
Me are available for purchase
where in stock.
For more information on the
show, character
bios, or some fun
downloads visit
w��������������
ww.deadlikeme.
t v.��������������
Re g r e t f u l l y,
some of the content can only be
viewed from the
united states, but
this site is still
worth a visit even
if just for the
screen saver of
the grim reaper blowing a gum-bubble.
Incredible Boris” kicks off this year’s Carnival Week. He will put you or your fellow students under his
spell. It will be an awesome show, not to be missed.
4)
SHOW YOUR LOVE OR BEST FRIEND how you feel about them. It’s Valentine’s
Day! Get them a heart-shaped balloon ($2.00 for 1, $5.00 for 3) or get them roses (price tba). All Day
5)
Couples Contest: You and your partner can win big. Enter our Valentine’s Day
Couples Contest and compete in a variety of events that will test you physically and see how well you
know your partner. Win a romantic night out.
6)
DATING GAME: Calling all singles. Back by popular demand is the Dating Game. Try
your luck at finding love on the live stage. You can be the one to ask the questions or answer them.
7)
John Abbott “College Idol”: We want the best! We want the worst! On stage
with microphone in hand. We want you to sing up a storm for your fellow students. Our judges and the
audience will decide who will be this year’s IDOL. It could be you. Please sign up in Student Activities.
Grand prize is $75.00.
8)
Ms John Abbott Beauty Pageant (a beauty contest for men):
It is the most popular event of the year and we want you in the show. A beauty pageant for the most daring willing to dress in drag to strut their stuff on stage. Want to participate? A $150.00 grand prize awaits
you with prizes for those placing 2nd and 3rd. Pick up an info sheet and register in Student Activities.
9)
3 on 3 Basketball Tournament: Teams of 3 or 4 (mixed, male, female) are
wanted to compete in this year’s edition of the annual Carnival 3 on 3 basketball tournament. This event
is limited to 16 teams (max). Deadline to sign up is February 14. Grand prize is $80.00 and bragging rights.
(P.S. only 1 varsity player per team is allowed) Pick up a registration form from Sports and Rec (C-128)
or Student Activities (H-159) now.
10)
JAC AMAZING RACE: Be part of our “Amazing Race” JAC style. Can you and your
partner solve the riddles and complete the tasks needed to win the “Amazing Race”. Pick up an info sheet
and register.
11)
EROTIC SNOW SCULPTING CONTEST: Do you have talent to do some snow
sculpting. How about erotic snow sculpting. You and your friends can win cool cash if you’re work of
art is judged the winner. Take as little or as long as you need to design your work of art. Please register in
Student Activities in advance. Win $75.00
12)
BELLY FLOP COMPETITION: It’s back! The traditional Carnival Belly Flop competition
taking place in the Pool. $75.00 goes to the winner after two dives. Pick up an info sheet from Student
Activities and register your name. You can be crowned the next champion.
13)
Carnival Ski Night to Mont St Sauveur: Calling all skiers. Join us for a fun
night of ski at Mont St-Sauveur. For only $24.00 you get transportation and a lift ticket. Space is limited
on the bus. Rentals are extra ($13.00 for skis and boards). Sign up asap in Student Activities to confirm
your spot.
14)
Film “HARRY POTTER & THE GOBLET OF FIRE”: The fourth Harry Potter
book comes to life on the big screen. It’s considered the best of the Harry Potter films.
February 8th, 2006 • 13
Lights And Sounds
Mysterious Skin
Justin “Minor” Banks
Assistant Games Editor
a l b u m s t i l l i n c l u d e s s o m e h a p p y,
l i f t i n g s o n g s t h a t f a n s h ave c o m e
to love.
Fr o m t h e a m a z i n g o r ch e s t r a i n
“Waiting Game”, to the guest sing ing by The Dixie Chicks’ Natalie
M aines in “How I Go”, their new
songs won’t fail to please fans. T he
i n s t r u m e n t a l i n t r o w h i ch f e a t u r e s
both a violin and a piano sets the
tone, pre paring listeners for a more
mature Yellowcard. Many guitar effects are scattered throughout the
album, making it exciting to expe r i e n c e e a ch a n d e ve r y s o n g. T h e
lyrics are pure brilliance, and when
sang they strike a more mature tone
c o m p a r e d t o t h e y ’r e e a r l i e r wo r k .
T he best examples of this
a r e f o u n d i n “ D ow n O n
My Head” and “City Of
Devils”.
If you are already
a fan of Yellowcard and
don’t yet own a copy of
this CD, then something
i s o bv i o u s l y w r o n g w i t h
y o u . Fo r t h o s e o f y o u
that have decided to shun
Yellowcard in the past at
least listen to one of their
new songs. I promise you
will g et hooked!
Cassandra Ranger
Contributor
among the five contenders.
In the Worst Actor category, one
can find Tom Cruise, Will Ferrell, Jamie
Kennedy, the Rock, and Rob Schneider,
while in the Worst Actress category there
is Jessica Alba, Hilary Duff, Jennifer
The emo-pop-punk-with-violin
b a n d , Ye l l o w c a r d e x p a n d s t h e i r
presence in the world of mainstream
punk with their second major-label
release, Lights and Sounds.
T his album is much more mature
t h a n O c e a n Ave nu e, a n d i s n’t a s
overproduced. Instead more effor t was put on the lyrical content.
Straying from the pop-punk and
sunny sounds of their earlier albums, the music off of Lights and
Sounds is darker, heavier and more
e m o t i o n a l . T h i s s h ow s t h e b a n d ’s
new found m aturity. However this
Razzies
Jessica Kalmar
Assistant Editor-in-Chief
The awards ceremony season is upon
us. Although the buzz is Oscar this,
Oscar that, it’s important to remember
the Academy Awards’ antithesis, the
Golden Rasberry Awards, or Razzies.
Taking place on March 4 th , the worst
movies of 2005 will be announced the
day before the Oscars take place.
Nominated in the Worst Picture
category are the cinematic gems Deuce
Bigalow: European Gigolo, Dirty Love,
Dukes of Hazzard, House of Wax, and
Son of the Mask. Having seen none
of the above movies, I am not able
to vouch for any of them (I admit to
watching half of Deuce Bigalow before
having to turn it of, so if the other four
are anything like it, I will lose all hope
not only for Hollywood, but humanity
as well).
Son of the Mask is the frontrunner
with eight nominations, including Jamie
Kennedy as Worst Actor, and in the
Worst Screen Couple category, Jamie
Kennedy & ANYBODY Stuck Sharing
the Screen with Him. As is said in the
Razzies’ official forum, “All it’s missing
is Jim Carrey…and a plot…and even
one laugh”. An unofficial poll among
the staff of Bandersnatch had them
unanimously vote the movie as the worst
14 • February 8th, 2006
The movie adaptation of Scott Heim’s
novel, Mysterious Skin is a ridiculously unforgettable experience. Gregg Araki takes everything
you think you know about the taboos of childhood, and turns it into a haunting and beautiful
tale. This is a story about the after affects of
molestation and one that recognizes eventual
triumphs. This is a story that does not ignore
the reckless teenage years, but glorifies way they
reach conclusions. After reading Heim’s original
novel, I dare say the movie version surpassed
the written.
Brian Lackey is a confused young boy
who is convinced he was the victim of an
alien abduction in his little league years. He
is portrayed by Brady Corbet as a naïve, innocent and nervous boy, often blacking out
and missing chunks of his life. He sets himself on a mission to find Neil McCormick
(played with magnificent versatility by Joseph
Gordon-Levitt), a boy he believes was
abducted with him. Neil’s darker, skinnier,
more attractive and equally as troubled. He
has started turning tricks for older men in
an attempt to escape his town and himself.
Hardly saying a word, Neil’s character is
mainly revealed through his actions and his
struggle is expertly portrayed in his eyes. The
boys’ journeys are staggeringly different yet
their coming together is all too natural
Because the movie deals with such dark
subject matter, Araki seems to have made a
conscious effort to make the movie especially
aesthetically pleasing. The intro is brilliantly
foreshadowing; a simple white background
featuring everyone’s childhood favorite Super
Pak Cereal tumbling playfully across the screen.
The most peaceful moment comes after Neil
pulls his first trick in a hotel. He meets with
his platonic soul-mate in a deserted drive-in lot
where snow flakes begin to fall and clump in his
hair and the two swear they hear God through
the speakers. Even as the final scene is closing
and the two boys finally sharing their trauma,
the color is yellow, the reference is to angels, the
music is coming from carolers, and the moment
is breathtaking. Araki takes memories hidden
under the boys’ skin and manages to make the
moment of release, attractive.
Lopez, Jenny McCarthy, and Tara Reid.
Of note are the three nominations
that Tom Cruise managed to acquire,
including two in the Most Tiresome
Tabloid Targets: Tom Cruise & His AntiPsychiatry Rant, and Tom Cruise, Katie
Holmes, Oprah Winfrey’s Couch, The
Eiffel Tower & “Tom’s Baby”. Yes, you
all heard of the episode of Oprah earlier
in the year when Tom Cruise jumped up
and down on her couch, professing his
undying love for his lady friend, Katie
Holmes. The two actors were the couple
of 2005, becoming known as TomKat,
to replace the loss of the Bennifer mania
of the year before.
Included in the Most Tiresome
Tabloid Targets is Paris Hilton and…
Who-EVER!, Mr. & Mrs. Britney, Their
Baby & T heir Camcorder, and T he
Simpsons: Ashlee, Jessica & Nick. Jessica
Simpson received another nomination
in the Worst Screen Couple category
for her and her “daisy dukes” (the most
over-mentioned aspect of a truly horrible movie).
The “winners” – aside from Halle
Berry, winning an award for Catwoman,
and Tom Green picking up a trophy for
Freddy Got Fingered, no actor shows
up to collect their award – are presented
with a raspberry the size of a golf ball
mounted on a Super 8 film reel. To those
people and movies lucky enough to be
nominated: may the worst actor win.
Bandersnatch Entertainment
Chemistry
Lauren “Steve” Rodrigues
Opinions Editor
This article is for all those students
who took science courses in high school
and passed with an above 70 average, who
maybe even really loved it. Then they
came to Abbott, registered in the Sciences
and now… ALAS! They are no longer in
the sciences! What happened? How can
someone be in high school Chemistry get
an average of 90% then do one semester
of cegep Chem and leave with a 38%?
Or have a 76% and leave with a mark of
under 20%? I think I know the answers
to this one. I must firstly say that I thank
my lucky stars that my high school teachers will not read this. I believe that high
school science classes don’t prepare you
for cegep classes. But that’s not all folks,
I think that public schools are lacking
teachers and aid to help the students
better prepare for Cegep science classes.
I am not saying that ALL high schools
or all teachers are like this or have this
problem but I believe a large amount of
them do.
Chemistry in high school was very
hands on and one subject lead to another;
things flowed. Teachers were there to
Religion... Bad?
Judy Gelsthorpe
Entertainment Editor
It seems that as time passes more and
more people are adopting the theory that
religion is as the title of this article suggests, a bad idea. Unfortunately, religion
has become the scapegoat to most, if not
all, of the world’s problems. The population is losing faith in the theory behind
religion, and not just its practice. Its one
thing not to believe in a religion, but it’s
another to question its use in society.
Time and time again, from many
different people and places, religion has
been portrayed as the cause of thousands
of wars. To me this idea is both illogical
and prejudiced. Religion is merely another difference between cultures to be
exploited as an excuse to fight. “What’s
that? Those people over there don’t believe in what we do? Let’s go! It’s hostile
take-over time!” That statement is no different from, “they don’t look like we do?” or,
“They have different laws than us?” and yet
somehow nobody is questioning the fact that
we should have laws or suggesting that we all
get surgery to look the same. The problem
here is just as it is with racial, political, or any
other type of war: intolerance, and not the
religions themselves. Religion has been made
a scapegoat by the many unscrupulous rulers hiding behind their religious beliefs and
claiming to be on some virtuous mission. It’s
time that people begin to see all religious wars
Bandersnatch Opinions
hold our hands and help us, giving make
up exams or dropping tests when needed.
It seems like high school teachers don’t
know what is going on in cegep. Cegep
Chemistry becomes a second math class;
instead of learning about chemicals and
molecules you learn formulas and equations. Not to mention that none of these
equations are explained properly or thoroughly. Why? You may be asking. It’s quite
simple. When you learn one equation
there is another one you need to learn to
be able to use it, or to be able to finish
a problem. Not to crush anyone’s spirits,
but you know those great fun labs we all
loved so much in high school? Well they
aren’t as much fun anymore. Labs are
explained once, quickly, before you are
sent off on your own.
I suggest this as a simple fix; have
a conference for all, not only science
course, teachers so that high school kids
and cegep teachers can meet and find
out how each of them work. I believe,
and have yet to be proven wrong, that
between the two, neither knows what the
other is doing. I know that the conferences would just be another hassle for
teachers. However that if a teacher truly
loves what they do, they would be willing
to do such a thing. I mean, if you don’t
care enough as a teacher to do everything
in your power to help your students, to be
honest, you shouldn’t be a teacher.
I think students should be able to
make up their minds whether or not they
want to stay in science when they are
in high school. This way many students
won’t waste semesters struggling through
a course that they will only end up dropping, leaving a huge gaping wound in their
CRC score.
But hey it doesn’t have to be all bad .
If you are failing, have made up your mind
to quit Science, and don’t care about the
repercussions, you can try these foolproof
have-the-best-time-of-your-life-in-class
“games” (is what I will call them). Sit
at the back of the class, or if you are
daring, (maybe really stupid is the right
word), sit in the middle of the room and
open a Coke when the class goes silent or
when the teacher is talking. That one is
best done with a friend opening another
can in unison. Or if you are more timid
you could just have fun playing tic-tactoe, dots (a game with dots where you
try and make a square, it’s kind of….
geometrical).
In the end this is all to say; if you
are not happy with your science classes,
maybe science isn’t for you.
for what they really are: just another addition
to the list of reasons to cover up the mad
scramble for power.
Countless other (bad) excuses to start wars
problems that religion has been blamed for?
Humans as a race have and always will strive
to rise above the rest of society and yet strike
down anything different from the standards
they create. It is impossible to be better
and yet exactly the same as everybody
else. The “ideal society” is an unrealistic
one, and just the idea of adding this extra
standard is suggesting a removal of freedom that many would find both offensive
and threatening to their way of life.
The fact is that without having a
religion, most people probably possess
the same type of ideas when it comes to
what is socially acceptable. With an open
mind to other beliefs, any religion could
be a great way of life, just the same as
having no religious beliefs and an excellent set of morals. Even if it turned out
that not one sentence in the Bible is true,
it wouldn’t mean that reading it would be
a perversion of the mind, because it is
simply a set of stories with kind, loving
morals to live by.
Religion is not a problem, it’s a part of
culture, a way of life. The problem is the
blatant lack of respect for other cultures that
our race has always possessed. It is easy to
find even within our so called “accepting”
communities. After all, many are still being
persecuted for their race, sexual orientation,
and yes, religion. Intolerance is the only cause
of wars, disguised in its various forms and
hidden beneath blanket statements such as
“without religion, thousands of wars would
never have happened”.
are being completely ignored and yet religion
is under attack. Why is this? Even without
knowing it most of those who believe having
a faith is useless say it because they are against
religion as a whole. Simply because they can’t
see a use for it in their own lives, they are
unable to see how religion has influenced
millions to be better people with outstanding
moral characters, and how it could continue
to do so even in our new modern society. Yes,
theoretically it would be possible to stop teaching religion and the world would continue
to function, but would it really solve all the
Real Creation
Judy Gelsthorpe
Entertainment Editor
I’ve been thinking about the various creation
theories that exist, and so far I’ve come to one
simple conclusion: none of them are provable.
Frankly every theory we have could be completely
and utterly wrong. To this effect I would like to
provide what I think is a simpler explanation
to how the universe, and in it our planet, was
created.
In the beginning, there was nothing. Then a
space pirate (who is obviously all-powerful) went
back in time and created himself. This space pirate
got lonely and created a loyal band of space pirate
friends. They were crowded, so they created an
infinite amount of space to eliminate the possibility of ever being crowded again. Here it is
important to note that every time a pirate creates
something, an equivalency is created in the opposing space. For example, when the space pirates
created themselves, earth pirates were created in
the area that will soon become Earth, and when
they created the empty space that is the universe,
water filled the void of where the earth should
be and the pirates swam around.
The space pirates eventually got bored sitting
in the empty space, and one of them thought up
the concept of cold. Instantly every space pirate
became cold in their infinitely large empty space,
so the pirates created stars to warm them with
their loving rays. At this point fire became possible
in the water filled void that was Earth. Of course,
with the creation of these stars the pirates decided
they would need shade from the rays, so they created planets. Islands appeared on Earth.
Unfortunately, the stars and planets were
floating around aimlessly and pointlessly. The
space pirates then gathered the smartest of their
ranks, who then sat down and devised the laws
of physics to govern the wayward entities. Since
they were already together, they decided it would
be for the best to create math at the same time.
Then one of the dumber space pirates thought
up chemistry. The other, smarter space pirates
invented the fork just so they could stab him
with it.
The space pirates ran around space inventing
things for quiet some time until they stumbled
upon Earth, with its fun-loving earth pirates, and
decided to visit its surface. Upon arrival the space
pirates invented rum, got incredibly drunk, and
started the greatest drunken brawl ever thought
to exist. During said drunken brawl, one of the
earth pirates invented the spear. There was only
one surviving pirate, a space pirate to be exact,
but he only lasted about twenty-seven seconds
when the equivalent space spear fell from the sky
and impaled him. The spear broke into billions
of tiny pieces which happened to take the shape
of each prehistoric creature on earth.
As everyone knows, space pirate blood gives
life to inanimate objects, and so each tiny creature
sprang to life.
Don’t worry, all is not lost, there is still a guiding light in the universe, because although the
space pirates may be gone, for everything they
accomplished, a wise cracking hippopotamus was
there to egg them on.
February 8th, 2006 • 15
Gay Rights
Kira-Lee Jones
Contributor
Canada hit gold when she decided to legalise
same sex marriage, but what about the rest of
the world? Why just stop at marriage and bring
in marital benefits and adoption?
There are many arguments for all of these
subjects and more, but they are all futile and
pathetic attempts at (dare I say it?) disregarding
human rights.
Marriage is done out of love (or for a
greencard); it is a commitment symbolizing
the strength of one’s relationship with the
other. Following this definition, there should
be no reason why a same sex couple who is
in love should not be able to get married. The
arguments against this are that if marriage is
about love, then why can’t someone who loves
their pet marry the animal? Animals have no
judgement and cannot give consent. What
about marrying children? Same reason as the
animals. Marriage between relatives? Birth
defects. Polygamy? Marriage is about the commitment between two people, not four or seven
or twenty-six. Plants? No brains. Why won’t the
church allow it? Because the church is jaded
against the rights of humanity and speaks only
for their God. That’s not necessarily a bad thing,
but just because the church won’t allow it, that
shouldn’t get in one’s way. Besides, if God is so
against homosexuality, then why did he create
homosexuals? And don’t give me that “it was
Satan” crap or that “homosexuality is unnatural”
spiel. How is the ability to love someone unnatural or evil? I personally beli eve that it’s really
none of our damn business. Who the heck cares
about what goes on between the sheets? It’s a
bit rude, don’t you think? Besides, marriage isn’t
based solely on sex, is it? I repeat, it’s about love.
Love: considered the greatest and purest thing
on earth (besides, you know, oxygen). Love has
created and ended wars, forged nations, and
made men fall and rise.
Once married, the homosexuals we speak
of may want children. Naturally, they cannot,
but adoption and in vitro have enabled them to
start a family. Many times, homosexual couples
are turned away, especially when wanting to
adopt: “Gay people will raise gay children.”
Yeah, and you can get taller by hanging out
with basketball players. Give me a break! Not
only is homosexuality thought to be genetic, it’s
also about choice, and isn’t choice part of the
free will given to humans by God or whatever
force there is out there? Another argument is
that the child in question may be exposed to
sexual acts. Now, how does this make sense?
What parent in their right mind would engage in
sexual acts in front of their child? Well, besides
pedophiles but homosexuals are not pedophiles;
they’re homosexuals. What about maternity
leave? In some places, gays and lesbians are not
granted maternity leave for adoption, whereas
hetero couples are. How is this fair? It’s not. It’s
discrimination, pure and simple. Just because
someone is gay does not mean that they should
not have time to bond with their new child. In
fact, it might be even more important, so that
the child (if they are not infants) may come
to understand their familial situation. Now,
what about benefits? What happens if married
homosexual couples decide to divorce? Or a
spouse dies? What’s preventing homosexuals
from raking in the money they deserve? They
should also be granted child tax benefits and so
on. I don’t know all that much on the subject of
benefits, but I do know that these benefits are
sometimes not granted in the USA.
Homosexuality is not a curse or a disease
and should not be treated as such. What goes on
behind closed doors isn’t anyone’s business, and
people should stick their noses elsewhere.
Today in
Bandersnatch
History
I would firstly like to say that Club Day was
a great success. With clubs like GALA (Gays
and Lesbians of Abbott) making over $60.00.
Many people turned up to Bandersnatch’s
booth to play DDR or sit on the couches.
Barely any money was made by Bander, which
was sad. As for the issues we had at the booth,
they went to good use cleaning up a coke that
someone spilt.
The only g ood thing that came of
Bandersnatch these past few weeks, is the
amazing luge that Judy, our Entertainment
Editor, created. Merely made of particle
board, a few screws and four little wheels.
This amazing show of engineering magic
was thwarted after only a few rides down the
Penfield/Herzberg basement hallway by Rob.
Whose large stature crushed the poor little luge, breaking the wheels and leaving
a dent in the wall.
Clydes
EVERY WEDNESDAY IS WING NIGHT!
Only 20 cents a wing
GREAT DEEJAY!
With karaoke!
Every Friday
is Student Night!
16 • February 8th, 2006
Bandersnatch Opinions
Clean Underwear Need Not Apply
Justin Banks
Assistant Games Page Editor
Survival horror games are somewhat
of an avoided genre, generally because
players can’t handle the suspense and
tension that comes with the possibility
of a five-legged imp popping out of a
random corner, rearing to tear off your
head. Although for some gamers it is
quite the opposite:, thrilled to be placed
into situations where quick decisions
must be made or game over.
For those who are completely unaware of what “survival horror” games
are, all I have to say is Resident Evil.
If this doesn’t mean anything to you,
may zombie ninjas find you in your
sleep and…Well, you just think about
it. Survival horror games were not recognized as a genre until Resident Evil
was released for the Playstation in 1996.
We’ve all seen the creepy old mansion
setting in films with teens r unning
around, hiding from ghosts and the like.
In Resident Evil you were a member
of the special tactics and
rescue squad
taking shelter in a mansion after the
first squad
sent in has
my s t e r i o u s l y
vanished. You
inevitably become separated from the rest
of your squad
while securing
the premises,
hoping that
backup will soon
arrive.
During your exqui- site stay at “Casa de
la Rotting Flesh” you will encounter the
undead in many forms: humans, dogs,
birds, even sharks. Did I mention that
the mansion is full of narrow corridors
and dusty cellars?
Alright, so now you know a little bit
about one of the top 10 survival horror
games of all time. However what does
the genre consist of ? What makes a
survival horror game what
i t
is? If you feel
claustrophobia
setting in and a
wetness brewing in your
nether regions
t h e n yo u ’r e
probably playing a survival
horror game.
While
scurrying
around said
claustrophobia inducing corridors you
are in constant search of keys
to open the never-ending locked doors.
Most of your time finding these keys
will be spent solving mundane puzzles
or figuring out a way to slay an elite
monster who is holding a piece of the
puzzle. While most of the games have
you ar med with a simple pistol and
blasting off a plethora of zombies,
newer horror games are trying to &%$#
with your head. Sometimes gruesome
images across the screen while emitting
high pitched noises that are so agitating
that it feels like your eardrums are being
raped over and over. Needless to say,
this will shake you up and make you
want to put down the controller.
T h i s g en r e i s b es t d ef i n ed a s a
do-it-yourself horror film which also
works the other way with the pennypinching movie producers trying to get
their greedy paws on the movie rights
to any survival horror game that has
promise. But then again that’s happening with every game that has deemed
itself worthy of several sequels such as
Doom, Resident Evil 1 & 2, and Alone
in the Dark.
Some titles worthy of mention are of
course Resident Evil 4(GC, PS2), Silent
Hill 4(PS2), Eternal Darkness (GC),
F.E.A.R. (PC), Fatal Frame (PS2), and
everyones favorite shotgun toting title
Doom 3(PC, Xbox). A little adrenaline
never hurt anyone so next time you’re
left alone on a dark and windy night,
you can make sure that you will never
fall asleep...ever.
Random Sudoku
Bandersnatch Games Page
February 8th, 2006 • 17
Halo: CE
Blayne Bradley
Games Page Editor
How would I describe the game in a
word? Disappointing, I saw pretty much
EVERY episode of Red vs. Blue, you know
the machinima series filmed with 4 Xbox’s
and a Macintosh. The point is that I loved
the show and found it hilarious however,
Halo Combat Evolved for the PC was a
disappointment by comparison. Now I know
it is an old game so I really can’t make an
unbiased opinion since I’ve already played it
over many times. But I can say this, I found
the game engine disappointing. The aiming
mechanism which consisted of a wide circle
which really didn’t give you a good idea if you
were wasting ammo while missing and really
didn’t provide the ability to make precise
shots at limbs and other extremities.
The story is interesting and worth going
through, the dialogue is intriguing, and the
action is suitably paced. It was largely in
multiplayer where I found that playing in
small maps like Blood Gulch were fun with
less then 10 people playing with masses of
people simply didn’t appeal to me with the
way that the game was programmed. The
online play was very laggy making it even
less fun to play with a plentiful amount of
people. There are however some more saving graces, the Sniper Rifle’s fun and easy to
use, though lacking the ability to go prone
really ruins the feel of the game a little, but
I did however get a kick out of flying the
Banshee and going “Commando” in Capture
the Flag Modes.
Overall, the game disappointed me. It
is however cheap and for purchase for 10$
at EB games .The story IS good so buying
it would be a good idea for short 10 minute
game.
In all I give Halo: Combat Evolved: 3
out of 5 stars.
260 major attractions.
Fall term admission: March 1 for CEGEP graduates
Applications to certain programs
may be submitted after the deadline.
Apply on-line and save at www.umontreal.ca
More Random Sudoku
18 • February 8th, 2006
Bandersnatch Games Page
Never Four Without Five
Joanna Lozowik
Sports Editor
Jerome Bettis kept his word. After declaring that he would end his 13-year NFL career with a win in his hometown of Detroit,
Jerome “The Bus” Bettis didn’t have to go
back on that statement as the Pittsburgh
Steelers topped the Seattle Seahawks 21-10
in Super Bowl XL on Sunday, capturing their
fifth Super Bowl.
For Pittsburgh, this is the fifth Super
Bowl in six appearances, but it’s only a first
Super Bowl in 26 years. And for Coach Bill
Cowher, this victory is the first in his 14-year
career with the Steelers, the longest tenure
in the NFL.
“It’s surreal,” Cowher said with tears
of joy. “This is a special group of coaches,
a special group of players. I was one small
part of this.”
Jerome Bettis, in his last ever game in
the NFL, rushed 43 yards in 14 carries. He
ends his career as the fifth-leading rusher
of all-time, with 13, 662 yards gained on
the ground.
“I played this game to win a championship,” said Bettis. “I’m a champion and I
think the last stop is here, in Detroit.”
Everything did not however start off
perfectly for the Steelers. The Seahawks
were actually first to strike when Josh Brown
completed a field goal late in the first quarter.
And it took a while for the Steelers to reply
and take the lead for
good in the game.
With 3:58 remaining before halftime,
Bettis attempted
twice to run into the
touchdown zone,
but to no avail. Ben
Roethlisberger, the
youngest quarterback
to ever win the Super
Bowl, finally decided
to rush himself into
the end zone, totally
fooling the opposite
team. Coach Mike
Holmgren attempted
to argue the controversial play, but the officials stuck by their
decision. 7-3 Steelers.
The Steelers managed to improve their
lead to 14-3 on the first try after halftime,
thanks to Willie Parker’s Super Bowl-record
75-yard touchdown run, beating the previous
mark of 74 yards set by Marcus Allen of the
Los Angeles Raiders in 1984.
It wasn’t over just yet though.
The Seahawks managed to cut the lead
to 14-10 after Jerramy Stevens scored a
touchdown from a 16-yard pass from Matt
Hasselbeck.
However, the Steelers
clinched their win after
Antwaan Randle El completed an amazing 43 yard reverse
pass to Hines Ward, who later
was named MVP after catching five passes for 123 yards
and that touchdown.
«I was hoping the coaches
would call that play,» said
Randle El, who became the
first receiver in Super Bowl
history to throw a touchdown
pass. «It was magical.»
It’s a sad ending for the
Seahawks, who were favourites for the Super Bowl all year
long and who were looking to win their first
Super Bowl since they entered the league
in 1976. The Steelers, on the other hand,
were in danger of missing the playoffs in
early December, but managed to win seven
straight games, including three road playoff games to get to the Super Bowl. They
also beat the top four regular season teams
(Cincinnati, Indianapolis, Denver and Seattle)
doing so.
«This is a tough pill to swallow, but we
accomplished a lot this year,» Seattle coach
Mike Holmgren said. «While you don’t have
a great feeling after a game like this, I want
them to remember this feeling, so they can
build on it.»
The Seahawks had offered a disappointing performance in Sunday’s game with lots
of penalties, drops, and sloppy plays. All
Hasselbeck could do was throw 16-yard
touchdown pass to Jerramy Stevens, which
was however set up by Kelly Herndon, who
had intercepted a Roethlisberger pass and
ran it back 76 yards, setting a Super Bowl
record for the longest interception return
in history.
However, many would still say that the
Steelers didn’t exactly win, the Seahawks
just lost.
HUET SHINES AGAIN
2006 TO BE CANADA’S YEAR?
Joanna Lozowik
Sports Editor
Joanna Lozowik
Sports Editor
With two shutouts in less than 24 hours,
Huet is procuring the must-needed victories
for the Habs to get back into the playoff run.
Thanks to outstanding goaltending, the Habs
are now slowly easing in closer to the playoff cut instead of
tumbling down
the standings as
they’ve been doing these past few
games. And Huet,
given the task to
replace Theodore
who hasn’t been
performing satisfactorily, did the
job perfectly.
With help
from offensive,
and specifically
from Michael
Ryder who registered 3 goals in
a 5-0 win over Philadelphia on Sunday, the
Habs have now managed to win two straight
games.
The Flyers were however suffering from
a lot of injuries. Peter Forsberg, Keith
Primeau, Eric Desjardins, and Kim Johnsson
were all out with injuries before the game
vs the Rangers. And during that game, Petr
Nedved and Chris Therrien got injured and
weren’t able to play vs the Habs.
Bandersnatch Sports
The Habs got onto the board at 14:11 of
the first during a two-man advantage when
Ryder scored his first goal of the game. Jan
Bulis doubled that advance when he scored
in the second. Bulis now has five goals this
season vs the Flyers.
Ryder struck again 40 seconds into the
third and Souray added another goal, his
second in two games at 6:23. Michael Ryder
then completed his hat trick at 16:52.
Huet has been perfect for 147 minutes
and 47 seconds. José Théodore was the last
goaltender to get two straight shutouts in
February 2002.
Thanks to his brilliant performance,
Huet has now captured the hearts of many
Montreal Canadiens fans, as has given everyone hope that the Habs might make the
playoffs this year after all.
2006 is of course, a winter Olympic year,
and Canada will attempt to do better than in
2002 in Salt Lake City, with 7 gold medals, 3
silver medals, and 7 bronze ones. This year,
in Turin, Canada is
expected to surpass
that total.
It is no secret
that the Canadian
Olympic committee is aiming for
2010 as the year
where Canada
will take its stand
as the leader in
winter sports, as
we will be hosting those games
i n Va n c o u v e r.
However, many
predict that 2006 will be quite an eventful
and interesting year for Canada.
In the World Cup, Canada managed to
obtain 133 medals, with 33 of them being
gold. The only nation that surpassed them
was Germany.
Many Canadian Olympic athletes have
shown great potential in all different disciplines, even though some of them haven’t yet
attained a podium. However, many athletes
have recently made their way close to the
top. Skier Erik Guay from Mont-Tremblant
stepped onto the podium three times during
the World Cup, Alberta’s Thomas Grandi got
a bronze and a silver medal in Slovenia, and
Genevieve Simard from Val Morin obtained
a silver medal in Cortina d’Ampezzo.
Athletes such as Beckie Scott who had
stepped onto the podium in 2002 will have
the chance to repeat their stunts this year
once again.
In other disciplines such as figure skating,
many Canadians have slowly but surely gone
up in the standings. Among those are Marie
France Dubreuil, Patrice Lauzon, Jeffrey
Buttle, and Emanuel Sandhu.
In bobsleigh, Pierre Lunders is already
considered world champion and is the man
to beat in that discipline.
And in hockey, Canada will be defending their gold medals with the men and the
women. Both teams are still considered
favourites for this year’s Olympics.
February 8th, 2006 • 19
John Cena defeated Edge, to retake the
WWE title once more. As Cena went for
the Five Knuckle Shuffle, Lita jumped up
on the apron to draw his attention. Edge
recovered as Lita and Cena argued, but when
the champion charged, Cena sidestepped and
Edge ran into Lita. Cena then hoisted the
stunned champion up, hitting the F-U. Not
content with that, Cena applied the STFU
to the champion. Stuck in the middle of the
ring, Edge was unable to reach the Ropes, or
break free, and ended up tapping out.
Ku r t A n g l e r e t a i n e d h i s Wo r l d
Heavyweight Championship, against Mark
Henry, who boasted that neither strength nor
speed nor technical ability could beat him.
After several attempts to defeat Mark Henry
had failed, Angle decided to use a steel chair
to defeat his opponent. Angle’s celebration
was cut short, however, when the Undertaker
went to the ring on a horse drawn carriage,
and summoned lightning bolts, which collapsed the ring.
Gregory Helms, formally known as
the Hurricane, won the Cruiserweight
20 • February 8th, 2006
Championship, in an open invitational
cruiserweight championship match. The five
Smackdown superstars, Kid Nash, Funaki,
Nunzio, Jamie Noble and Paul London, were
caught off guard, when the Raw Superstar
was introduced to the match. The match was
held under “Texas tornado rules”, which
means that the first man to score a fall, would
become champion. Helms’ Shining Wizard
connected on Funaki, allowing Helms to
score the pinfall, and win the title.
Rey Mysterio won the Royal Rumble,
becoming the number one contender for
a championship
at Wrestlemania
22, and the first
royal r umble
winner who
drew the second
position to enter
the royal rumble, first being
ten time World
Heavyweight
Champion
Triple H, who was looking to get a shot at
an eleventh title. Despite his difficult position, as the first entrant in the Royal Rumble,
Triple H made it to the final three, before
being eliminated by Mysterio. Mysterio dedicated his Royal Rumble victory to his long
time best friend, Eddie Guerrero, and plans
to follow in his footsteps, to become either
WWE Champion, or World Heavyweight
Champion at Wrestlemania.
ORDER OF ELIMINATION:
1- Dean (by Triple H & Mysterio)
2- Psicosis (by Mysterio)
3- Flair (by Triple H)
4- Coach (by Big Show)
5- Sylvan (by Lashley)
6- Lashley (by Big Show & Kane)
7 & 8- Big Show and Kane simultaneously
(by Triple H)
9- Booker T (by Benoit)
10- Road Warrior Animal (by RVD)
11- Guerrero (by Triple H)
12- Tatanka (by MNM)
13- Murdoch (by Michaels)
14- Hardy (by Viscera)
15- Eugene (by Benoit)
16- Super Crazy (by Mysterio)
17- Benoit (by Orton)
18- Viscera (by Carlito & Masters)
19- Masters (by Carlito)
20- Goldust (by RVD)
21- Jordan (by Orton)
22- Mercury (by Nitro via Michaels)
23- Nitro (by Michaels)
24- Benjamin (by Michaels)
25- Michaels (by Shane McMahon)
26- Carlito (by RVD)
27- RVD (by Mysterio via Triple H)
28- Triple H (by Mysterio)
29- Orton (by Mysterio)
Bandersnatch Sports